How familiar do you get with the staff?

[iamaqt2]

I have read so many threads on here where people go out of their way to learn the names of the staff who are serving them.

I really don't feel like becoming that familiar with them onboard. I'll tip them accordingly, and thank them for a job well done. I would just feel really uncomfortable calling them by their first names and even going so far as to keep in contact with them as some CC members have done.

My question to you all is this...

How familiar are you willing to become with the staff?

[Atomica]

I enjoy meeting the staff onboard, and I do enjoy addressing them by their names. We've become good friends with a number of crew onboard several ships, on Holland America and other lines.

I guess my question would be: why wouldn't you learn the names of those who are serving you? They took the time to learn yours.

[iamaqt2]

I enjoy meeting the staff onboard, and I do enjoy addressing them by their names. We've become good friends with a number of crew onboard several ships, on Holland America and other lines.

I guess my question would be: why wouldn't you learn the names of those who are serving you? They took the time to learn yours.

Actually I would feel very uncomfortable if they addressed me by my first name. I would much rather be addressed as Mrs. XYZ.

[Gablin]

A good friend of mine had a tiny romance with a ship officer eleven years ago. It was only a twelve day cruise, and it was never consummated, she says, but she certainly enjoyed the company.
My granddaughters and I have enjoyed chatting with bartenders, servers, cabin stewards, etc., about their lives and families. We've not exchanged email addresses or anything - just enjoyed learning something about someone else.

[babyher]

Actually I would feel very uncomfortable if they addressed me by my first name. I would much rather be addressed as Mrs. XYZ.


See I am the exact opposite. When someone calls me by my surname it reminds me of the nuns in grammar school when I was in trouble. :)


I ask everyone to call me by my first name . No matter who they are.

We have never kept in contact with any staff after a cruise, but while we are on the cruise we enjoy getting to know them and making conversation. I enjoy meeting people and am a chatterbox by nature *LOL*

[GmaPajama]

I very much enjoy getting to know the people who take care of us. I'm another one who prefers being on a first name basis - it just feels so elegant to be addressed as "Ms Donna". I also go out of my way to seek out and get to know a lower level worker on each cruise. I so enjoy their delight in being greeted by name ... and their shock at a final day tip. It's usually a crew member who cleans one of the ship's public areas, or regularly sets up a lounge or something. Someone many people don't even notice. I also put that person's name on my comment card, as I know it's important for him or her to be recognized by a supervisor.

Perhaps having had to waitress my way through college makes me sensitive to hard workers who often go unrecognized.

[luvs2travl]

See I am the exact opposite. When someone calls me by my surname it reminds me of the nuns in grammar school when I was in trouble. :)


I ask everyone to call me by my first name . No matter who they are.

We have never kept in contact with any staff after a cruise, but while we are on the cruise we enjoy getting to know them and making conversation. I enjoy meeting people and am a chatterbox by nature *LOL*

We feel the same way. We ask the staff to use our first names, but, polite as they always are, the always put the "Mrs" or "Mr" in front of our first names anyway! :)

Although we have not kept in touch with any of the staff post-cruise, we so enjoy chatting with them while on board. The first thing my DH asks whomever he meets is their name and where they are from. We are genuinely interested in their families, how many kids they have, where they are from, how long have they been with the cruise line, etc. These great people take the time to know the names of those passengers in their area of service; is it so very wrong to know and remember theirs as well? Also, we find that saying a sincere "please" and "thank you" and "Good Morning" or "Good Evening" and using their name with each greeting, goes a long way to insure great service as well.

We have overheard some passengers being so rude and condescending to these hard-working folks - from making fun of the way they speak to barking orders at them as if they were serfs. We actually overheard one tedious woman ask the lovely young lady at the Main Desk if she was "stupid" as she stormed off!! :mad:
(Evidently the passenger had the problem as we were next in line and we had absolutely no issues with the young woman at all!)

Simply put, we feel that these dedicated people go out of their way to make our trip as enjoyable and pleasant as possible. To show them the same level of consideration seems to us to be the right thing to do. The least one can do is remember their names - and use them! Our opinion only, of course! :)

Have Smooth Sailing Always! :D

[Krazy Kruizers]

We do enjoy meeting the crew -- but that is as far as it goes. We will sometimes ask them a few questions -- but we don't talk about all their families and where they live, etc.

We used to see some of the same crew ship after ship years ago and did keep in touch with a few of them. But now we rarely see any familiar faces.

[luvs2travl]

I very much enjoy getting to know the people who take care of us. I'm another one who prefers being on a first name basis - it just feels so elegant to be addressed as "Ms Donna". I also go out of my way to seek out and get to know a lower level worker on each cruise. I so enjoy their delight in being greeted by name ... and their shock at a final day tip. It's usually a crew member who cleans one of the ship's public areas, or regularly sets up a lounge or something. Someone many people don't even notice. I also put that person's name on my comment card, as I know it's important for him or her to be recognized by a supervisor.

Perhaps having had to waitress my way through college makes me sensitive to hard workers who often go unrecognized.
Your post reminded me of something that happened on the "O" on our last cruise. The cappuccino machine in the Neptune Lounge went on the fritz and it took one of the crew mechanics the better part of the day to repair it & get it up and running! Since that was my DH's absolute favorite thing in the Neptune, he would pop in at various times of the day to check progress.

Once repaired, my dear husband, unbeknowest to anyone (even me!) at the time, asked the Concierge for an envelope, placed a $20.00 bill inside and asked her to give it to man who worked so diligently on the cappuccino machine all day. The following day, the young man actually sought out my husband to shake his hand and thank him personally. He was so surprised and pleased at this small gesture of kindness, and told DH that no passenger had ever even bothered to thank him, let alone reward him, for anything that he had done on board. It was wonderful to see what that small act of kindness meant to him.

We also singled him out on our comment card, so I am able to relate to what you're saying, Donna. Such an easy thing to do to make someone's day! :)

[magandab]

One delightful thing I've noticed on HAL is that if a staff member introduces him/herself, and asks your name, they do it in the most elegant way. Rather than being asked "What is your name?" I have almost always been asked "What should I call you?" A small difference that that allows those who are uncomfortable being called by their first names by service personnel (a whole other issue that I can't fathom, but that's just me) to be addressed as they wish.

I have noticed that when I take the time to read the nametag, maybe ask for the correct pronunciation, and engage a little about this person's life, family, home, my cruise experience is elevated immeasurably.

[Assateague Island Princes]

We met a bartender, Chris, on our first Oosterdam cruise to Alaska. He was so sweet and helpful, we learned about his family in the Phillipines, he did us numerous kindnesses, and he felt like one of the family by the time we left. He insisted on calling us "Ms. Lynda" and "Mr. Gary", which still makes us chuckle to think about. This was in 2006. I'm very happy to say that Chris continues to keep in touch with us every couple of months - sending photos, newsy emails (he's now on an oil rig off the coast of Texas!), and always asking how we are and what we're up to. We wouldn't have it any other way!

Our cabin steward, Mano, on the Oosterdam to Alaska in 2008 was also very nice and personable, couldn't do enough for us. Hearing his sing-song voice call out our names in the hallway, inquiring if there was anything we needed, always going the extra mile with service was a joy to behold! My SIL and I had our picture taken with him, which he was so pleased about. During the crew show at the end of the cruise, we were in the balcony, shouting his name, clapping, and waving - he loved it! Grinning from ear to ear, his fellow co-workers were slapping him on the back and enjoying his pleasure. We miss him still. While we don't keep in touch with Mano, I wish now we had gotten an email address from him just to hear how his daughter has grown and learn more about his life aboard ship.

I think its wonderful to establish relationships with those you "clicked" with and find a way to touch their lives as much as they touched yours while on board. I don't feel awkward about it or find it odd in any way. The staff works so hard to make our vacation the best it can be, and we certainly do appreciate it. HAL's staff is amazing, they should be very proud of the kind souls they've got got on their team.

[Luke Warmwater]

One delightful thing I've noticed on HAL is that if a staff member introduces him/herself, and asks your name, they do it in the most elegant way. Rather than being asked "What is your name?" I have almost always been asked "What should I call you?" A small difference that that allows those who are uncomfortable being called by their first names by service personnel (a whole other issue that I can't fathom, but that's just me) to be addressed as they wish.

I have noticed that when I take the time to read the nametag, maybe ask for the correct pronunciation, and engage a little about this person's life, family, home, my cruise experience is elevated immeasurably.

It is basic good manners, in societies which encourage and each them, that people are never called by their first name unless invited to do so. The title "Mr" or "Mrs" is something conferred by the other person and never by the subject person concerned. Consequently, it is uncomfortable for people brought up with good manners to be called by their first name by a stranger who is, effectively, being ill mannered and taking liberties with unnecessary familiarity. If someone asks for my name, it is reasonable and expected that you give only the surname in response. Because some like and want to be addressed by their first name, they can give this but it can cause some confusion in some cultures which set down their names about face, ie: surname first then first name, as is the case in many Asian countries. So a room attendant referring to Mr John, or Miss Debbie may, actually, think they are using a surname anyway.

[packercruising]

It depends on the staff. Starting with the cabin Stewards we like it when they tell us about their country and their family. This means we have seen them enough to get to know them which probably also means they are doing a great job! It is the same with the wait staff if they are providing good service. These two groups are instrumental in the difference between a great cruise and a fantastic cruise. If there is any staff you want to get to know on a first name basis it is the bar servers! :) You want them to know your first name because that means they are providing you with good service and they will maybe even treat you special. Almost every ship will have a crew like that. Now the captain, the maitre des and other high mucky muckys, I do not care to know their names.

[Himself]

I am friendly and warm but more than a bit reserved.

[madelinerose]

See I am the exact opposite. I ask everyone to call me by my first name . No matter who they are.

Ditto. Even when I'm filling out a document, unless a "title" is absolutely required, it's left blank. If someone calls me "Mrs", I ask them to call me by my first name. That's the name I've had all my life and the name that identifies me. ;)

We enjoy establishing rapport with the staff on a ship.

Asking a server for his/her name is the first thing DH does in any restaurant setting on land or sea. It immediately breaks the ice. If he sees that a server is "in the woods", he'll laugh and tell him/her to relax and bring things as they come out of the kitchen/galley. In another life, he played the hotel/restaurant management game and this is just what he does. He can sit at any table in any setting and describe exactly what's happening in the kitchen/galley and point out what will happen next with the servers, Maitre d', etc. It's always an adventure, to say the least, be it the local bar/restaurant or a 5-star in Manhattan. He enjoys having fun with it and never takes it that seriously, in or out of a tux. :D

[Johanna7]

Actually I would feel very uncomfortable if they addressed me by my first name. I would much rather be addressed as Mrs. XYZ.

Don't go on Royal Caribbean. They address everyone by their first names. All the staff, cabin stewards, dining room waiters, you name it. Doesn't matter if you are 20 or 70 years old.

I personally do not mind at all.

Johanna

[trophy_23]

On our last cruise we became quite close with a few of the wait staff and even closer with our cabin stewards. I think because it was a longer (2wk) cruisevwe had more time to get to know them. We had a running joke with them and the 'towel animals'. We also took some wonderful pictures during the crew show abd had them printed at the next port to give to the staff which made their day. We had a wonderful time and that made it more special!

[Randyk47]

I'd say we typically learn the names of 5-6 staff on a cruise. It really depends and there have been cruises where we only get to know a couple of staff that well. Our hangout on HAL is the Crow's Nest and minimally we're there before and after dinner every night. It typically doesn't take one or two visits before the staff knows us by first name, usually proceeded by Miss or Mr or Dr.

My favorite story is about our honeymoon. In 1995 my ex and I cruised on the Ryndam. Four years later and the ex and I have parted ways and I've gotten remarried. My soon to be bride had never been on a cruise and was excited about the possibility. I contacted my TA and she recommended a cruise on the Ryndam. I was kind of.....oh me...but so many years had passed I figured it would be fine. So off we go on our honeymoon and the Ryndam. The very first night, before dinner, I decide to introduce my bride to the Crow's Nest. We take a seat and here comes one of the staff to wait on us. He looks vaguely familar....so he walks up and says immediately "Dr. Randy! Good to see you again. And Miss....ah....Miss....oh....not same wife." :eek: Four years later mind you! I'll never forget Ronald and he obviously didn't forget me. :D

[madelinerose]

"in the woods"


Yep, quoting myself. Sorry, meant "in the weeds". ;):D

[RevNeal]

I always try to learn the names of my Dining Room Stewards, Wine Steward, Area Supervisor, Cabin Stewards, and the Bar Staff in the Lounges I frequent the most. On long cruises, if there appears to be a lull in their work (or if the Main Dining room is somewhat empty in their area -- I pay attention) I will engage them in a bit of conversation about their home, how long they've been aboard, if it's not their first contract then what other ships have they served on, etc.

They will often reciprocate with questions regarding where I am from, what I do, etc. After the first time I wear clerics to the Main Dining room the title of address shifts from Mr. to Father.

On RARE occasions I have had repeated contact with stewards from one cruise to another cruise. In those cases I've been amazed that they not only remember my face, they remember my name! Incredible!

HAL's staff are the absolute BEST.

[NMLady]

I have read so many threads on here where people go out of their way to learn the names of the staff who are serving them.

I really don't feel like becoming that familiar with them onboard. I'll tip them accordingly, and thank them for a job well done. I would just feel really uncomfortable calling them by their first names and even going so far as to keep in contact with them as some CC members have done.

My question to you all is this...

How familiar are you willing to become with the staff?

I always call our cabin steward by his first name.
I eat most breakfasts and lunches in the Lido and I become acquainted with many of the servers there and I call them by name when I see them. I would do the same in a diner at home if I ate there frequently.
If there are other staff members that I see on a regular basis I'd also call them by name. To me, it is the polite thing to do.

However, there aren't any that I'd keep in touch with. I barely keep in touch with some of our tablemates from other cruises.

[UKBayern]

It is basic good manners, in societies which encourage and each them, that people are never called by their first name unless invited to do so. The title "Mr" or "Mrs" is something conferred by the other person and never by the subject person concerned. Consequently, it is uncomfortable for people brought up with good manners to be called by their first name by a stranger who is, effectively, being ill mannered and taking liberties with unnecessary familiarity. If someone asks for my name, it is reasonable and expected that you give only the surname in response.

I think it is partly a European thing, especially most British and Germans don't like being addressed with their first name from the start. It is left to the person addressed to say it is alright to call them by the first name. We have both been in the service industry for more than 15 years, working for hotels, airlines, bars and we now own our own hotel. None of my employers would allow me to fraternise too much with the guests and my name badge always had my surname on it. Even in The Netherlands where people are more casual! We don't call our hotel guests by their first name, as it is regarded very impolite in this part of the world. That does not mean we are not friendly and personal with the guests. We just do not sit at their table, we do not let them buy us drinks, we do not hang out in their rooms.

I would not be pleased if a member of staff on a cruise ship would address us by our first name without being invited. That does not mean however that we don't try to be friendly with the staff, we do chat with them, ask them about their home country, etc. On our last cruise, our room attendant started to invite himself to come and visit us. I thought that was very inappropriate and way over the limit.

Gablin: the officer would have been fired by any of my employers. They did not allow for the staff to have any kind of overfriendly or romantic relationships with customers. This was predominately done to protect the staff: maids were getting dragged into hotelrooms by guests enough against their will already, airhostesses getting stalked or intimately touched by passengers, etc. And what if your friend would have reported him for unappropriate behaviour, saying he was trying to do something to her? She would have been believed and he would have been fired.

[bermuda triangle]

On our last Princess cruise our cabin steward remember us from a different ship. He wasn't our cabin steward on the previous cruise, but he remembered which deck and which section our room was. The two cruises were about a year apart and very different locations. So that was surprising.

I have remained friendly with a photographer from Princess. She is from S. Africa and is excellent at what she does. So much more than the standard cruise photos that we had her come to the US to shoot our wedding ceremony and reception. We "chat" occasionally via email/facebook.

I am also friendly with a purser from Princess, he is also from S. Africa and we keep in touch the same way.

I don't see why people are uptight about having people call them by their first names. Then again maybe it is because I cruised when I was a young child and have friends with diverse backgrounds. I don't think someones job or nationality should prohibit you from forming a friendship.

Laura

We stayed at a hotel post-cruise in London where the Polish employees..repeatedly asked if things are okay mrs. X? where are you going today mrs. x? can i suggest a restaurant mrs. x. Okay so they know my name......but does every question/sentence need to end in mrs. x?? That bothers me more than someone using my first name by far.

[tomc]

I am somewhat of a loner on a cruise (it's my time to be out of the public eye) but always willing to chat with the staff and have them be "friends" with me. To that end, I use the skills I learned as an entertainer when I first entered the business years ago: have a gimmick. The staff will remember you much quicker that way.

On Day One, in the Lido, I will do one of the following: "Hi; my name is Tom." Then spell it out with my hand and fingers up, lowering the little finger on "T," the ring finger on "O" (which I can do easily), and the middle on "M." I then repeat it once or twice. The person then tries it and can't lower his ring finger, as most people can't.

This gets him laughing and starts the recognition process, as it does with others up there.

Or, I will do a quick finger trick, very quick (maybe two seconds), saying, "Hi; I'm Tom," which he attempts to try, but can't because it's too fast. I do this with the others.

The next day, most of them are trying it, laughing. By the end of the second day, they are coming to my table saying, "Mister Tom, watch this," as they imitate what I've done.

Day three and following for the 14-day cruise, we chat when it's quiet and they joke with me.

[iamaqt2]

Thank you all for your replies. I knew from reading the boards for quite some time now that many of you do enjoy meeting the crew and learning about their lives. I've read that a few members regularly keep in touch with a few of their favorite crew.

I'm not sure I would go quite that far, but will make sure I make an effort to learn my room stewards name this cruise.

[serendipity1499]

I have read so many threads on here where people go out of their way to learn the names of the staff who are serving them.

I really don't feel like becoming that familiar with them onboard. I'll tip them accordingly, and thank them for a job well done. I would just feel really uncomfortable calling them by their first names and even going so far as to keep in contact with them as some CC members have done.

My question to you all is this...

How familiar are you willing to become with the staff?

Actually I would feel very uncomfortable if they addressed me by my first name. I would much rather be addressed as Mrs. XYZ.

On most of our HAL cruises, both our Cabin & MDR Stewards know our first & last names from the get go & will say Welcome, or Good Morning Mrs. or Mr. XYZ or Mrs. Elizabeth & Mr. John, which doesn't bother us at all...

We always ask our Cabin, MDR & Wine Stewards their names & write the correct spelling down..Many times they leave a card with us, which has their names on them...If we frequent a HAL Lounge we'll get our Lounge Stewards name..

Our reason for this is twofold..Most times we have service above & beyond! When thanking them with an extra monetary Lagniappe we also write a Thank you note which starts off as: Dear ABC.. etc.. In addition we will mention their names on our comment cards & commend them for their service..This is what they appreciate & look for as it also helps them to get promotions & recongnition from their bosses..

Have learned that many people are quick to complain, but not many will write a letter of commendation for those which deserve it..

And yes, we do ask where they are from & about their families...They really appreciate that we are taking an interest in them as people & not just treating them as servants....We do the same with our Gardner & our "Bug" Man at home....

We've rarely kept in touch with our Stewards & don't socialize with them...However we've met several of them on subsequent cruises & they make it a point to come over to welcome us aboard even if they are not our Stewards....

I'd say we typically learn the names of 5-6 staff on a cruise. It really depends and there have been cruises where we only get to know a couple of staff that well. Our hangout on HAL is the Crow's Nest and minimally we're there before and after dinner every night. It typically doesn't take one or two visits before the staff knows us by first name, usually proceeded by Miss or Mr or Dr.

My favorite story is about our honeymoon. In 1995 my ex and I cruised on the Ryndam. Four years later and the ex and I have parted ways and I've gotten remarried. My soon to be bride had never been on a cruise and was excited about the possibility. I contacted my TA and she recommended a cruise on the Ryndam. I was kind of.....oh me...but so many years had passed I figured it would be fine. So off we go on our honeymoon and the Ryndam. The very first night, before dinner, I decide to introduce my bride to the Crow's Nest. We take a seat and here comes one of the staff to wait on us. He looks vaguely familar....so he walks up and says immediately "Dr. Randy! Good to see you again. And Miss....ah....Miss....oh....not same wife." :eek: Four years later mind you! I'll never forget Ronald and he obviously didn't forget me. :D


Oh My what a funny story...:D:D

Cheers....:) Betty ...AKA Mrs. Elizabeth XYZ

[fud2468]

I've been lurking on HAL threads a while to learn more, though we haven't yet cruised on HAL. This thread is very interesting.
We started cruising late in life. Our first one was on Dawn Princess several years ago.
As my wife is fluent in Spanish and I was also ng forward to meeting people from other countries, we found to our dismay that 250 of the passengers had gone on the cruise using one TA in the Central Valley of California, only 60 miles from our home. Fine people, I'm sure, but we could have stayed home and met people like them!
We wound up having several conversations with our Filipino cabin steward and my wife got acquainted with a young woman from Honduras.
We hah more contact with the crew than with other passengers.
When these two in particular felt comfortable disclosing information about themselves it opened our eyes to the great sacrifices they made to better themseves-long periods of seperation from family and friends, etc.
We tipped them generously, of course.
Ray Mac.

[middle-aged mom]

...............When thanking them with an extra monetary Lagniappe we also write a Thank you note.........


Cheers....

Overtime comment: I was very intrigued to see you use the word lagniappe, meaning an unexpected present or bonus. One almost never encounters this term. Where are you from originally, Mrs. Elizabeth XYZ?:)

[solocanadian]

I'd say we typically learn the names of 5-6 staff on a cruise. It really depends and there have been cruises where we only get to know a couple of staff that well. Our hangout on HAL is the Crow's Nest and minimally we're there before and after dinner every night. It typically doesn't take one or two visits before the staff knows us by first name, usually proceeded by Miss or Mr or Dr.

My favorite story is about our honeymoon. In 1995 my ex and I cruised on the Ryndam. Four years later and the ex and I have parted ways and I've gotten remarried. My soon to be bride had never been on a cruise and was excited about the possibility. I contacted my TA and she recommended a cruise on the Ryndam. I was kind of.....oh me...but so many years had passed I figured it would be fine. So off we go on our honeymoon and the Ryndam. The very first night, before dinner, I decide to introduce my bride to the Crow's Nest. We take a seat and here comes one of the staff to wait on us. He looks vaguely familar....so he walks up and says immediately "Dr. Randy! Good to see you again. And Miss....ah....Miss....oh....not same wife." :eek: Four years later mind you! I'll never forget Ronald and he obviously didn't forget me. :D
Cute story Randy - love it. I remember a "Ronald" on the Ryndam - great guy.:D

[solocanadian]

I appreciate being called by my first name. However it has become a challenge since passport regulation. My first name appears on all HAL documents but I used my middle name. I usually just have to tell them once and they remember. I really appreciate runing into a bartender from past cruises and having him recall my name. Before the days of digital cameras I used to travel with 2 small photo albums that had pictures of all our bartenders. They all loved looking at them and commenting on whether they had worked with them. I no longer take them because of luggage issues. Hugs are normal for me when I encounter someone who has given me great, friendly service in the past. Have never gotten email address from any crew or staff - just high hopes of seeing them in the future. Any that impress me are named on comment cards. Friendliness is part of my nature. My late husband and me made lots of friends dining out at home by just chatting during dinner to the next table. Went out to lunch with a wine steward in Acapulco on my 2nd cruise as a widow, but that is all there was to it - just lunch. Have had a Captain & Hotel Manager from another line contact me at home and send money for a book about a murder that had taken place on the ship a few years earlier.
I really feel they are instucted by HAL to use first names. Have you noticed most of their namee tags have one name onlly - their first name - probably because we'd never get our tongues around their surnames. Even had an officer on the Ryndam last year asking me to shop for him while in port as he could not leave the ship. I gladly did it for him. Can't wait until my upcoming cruise to see if there are any familiar faces.:D

[Padraic]

I would much rather be addressed as Mrs. XYZ.

In all the HAL ships that we have been on I have generally been addressed as Mr. Patrick.

[sail7seas]

We get familiar enough with our stewards that almost every cruise I BEG to take a few home with us. Kidding, of course......... just kidding. :) :D

[Alliea]

I have read so many threads on here where people go out of their way to learn the names of the staff who are serving them.

I really don't feel like becoming that familiar with them onboard. I'll tip them accordingly, and thank them for a job well done. I would just feel really uncomfortable calling them by their first names and even going so far as to keep in contact with them as some CC members have done.

My question to you all is this...

How familiar are you willing to become with the staff?

We never got cozy with them.. but I will say you want to tip them more money than what is already taken as auto tips. We did it in the dining room 20.00 more, and tipped our room service guy 50.00 more.. Yes, he was that good. I don't think there is better "service" type people in the cruise industry than what HAL has.

[Mary Ellen]

I'm not familiar enough with you to say... :D

[1Alaska]

I am long-time friends with several Lido deck servers and room stewards from HAL. I enjoy following their travels via facebook and looking for them if they happen to be on a ship I may be cruising on! It is nice seeing a familiar face on a ship and follwing their family stories over the years.

[Hlitner]

There is an old cruise tale (probably true) about a English Lady who was cruising on the Queen Mary (Cunard Line). One day she was approched by the maitre'd who informed the lady that she was invited to dine with the Captain. The lady looked right at that maitre'd and said, "Sir, I do not dine with the hired help!"

Hank

[serendipity1499]

Overtime comment: I was very intrigued to see you use the word lagniappe, meaning an unexpected present or bonus. One almost never encounters this term. Where are you from originally, Mrs. Elizabeth XYZ?:)

LOL..:D.Believe it or not I was born, raised & worked on Long Island...

After moving to Fla, we joined a Sailing Club..A new Friend's sailboat was named "Lagniappe"..That Lady & her DH were from the South & sailed with us quite often..

Becoming intrigued with the word, I discovered that it mostly was used in Southern Louisiana, Mississippi & Southern Texas by French speaking Cajun & Creole Merchants...Apparently it's a mixture of Louisiana French & American Spanish used mosly in the mid 19th century... Mark Twain called it an expressive word & I agree!..:)

Since our wonderful HAL Stewards do not expect extra tips, I believe our extra thank you gift is a Lagniappe for them...

Cheers....:)Betty

P.S. We sailed out boat to New Orleans twice & that city still fascinates me...LOL:D:D

[luvs2travl]

LOL...Believe it or not I was born & raised on Long Island...
After moving to Fla, we joined a Sailing Club..A new Friend's sailboat was named "Lagniappe"..That Lady & her DH were from the South & sailed with us quite often..

Becoming intrigued with the word, I discovered that it mostly was used in Southern Louisiana, Mississippi & Southern Texas by French speaking Cajun & Creole Merchants...Apparently it's a mixture of Louisiana French & American Spanish used mosly in the mid 19th century... Mark Twain called it an expressive word & I agree!..:)

Since our wonderful HAL Stewards do not expect extra tips, I believe our extra thank you gift is a Lagniappe for them...

Cheers....:)Betty

P.S. We sailed out boat to New Orleans twice & that city still fascinates me...LOL



Being from SW Louisiana, "lagniappe" is a word we hear and use all the time! It means "a little something extra" and we use it for any & all occasions to imply something very special and not necessarily expected.

So Betty, you are quite correct when you refer to your "extra thank gift" as lagniappe. :D

Laissez les bontemps roulez sur les mers! :)

[bulgargirl]

I am friendly and warm but more than a bit reserved.

Me too. I tend to like being left alone more than anything. I have certainly had really wonderful service at a lot of different places, I just tend to keep to myself.

[serendipity1499]

Being from SW Louisiana, "lagniappe" is a word we hear and use all the time! It means "a little something extra" and we use it for any & all occasions to imply something very special and not necessarily expected.

So Betty, you are quite correct when you refer to your "extra thank gift" as lagniappe. :D

Laissez les bontemps roulez sur les mers! :)

Thank you, have wondered if I was using that wonderful word correctly..

Had to check my French Translator & not entirely sure but believe that.. "Laissez les bontemps roulez sur les mers!" means "Let the good times roll on the Seas" ?:D

Cheers...:)Betty


.

[luvs2travl]

Thank you, have wondered if I was using that wonderful word correctly..

Had to check my French Translator & not entirely sure but believe that.. "Laissez les bontemps roulez sur les mers!" means "Let the good times roll on the Seas" ?:D

Cheers...:)Betty


.


You betch'a!! :D Smooth Sailing to you always!! Hope to be able to meet you on board one day.

Nancy

[ANSalberg]

[QUOTE=babyher;23954203]See I am the exact opposite. When someone calls me by my surname it reminds me of the nuns in grammar school when I was in trouble. :)


I ask everyone to call me by my first name . No matter who they are.

This would be a "Me too!" Besides- I'm MORE comfortable with friends -NOT with "Servants" Our room stewards on our last cruise [ of more than 25 cruises -500 days with HAL] were wonderful but they were uncomfortable calling us by our first names because they were so much younger -so we suggested they address us as our family does - Gramma & Grampa. We'd come back to our room and hear a cheerful-" Hey, Gramma...Grampa -HELLO!!!!!" REmember, these young people are away from their families for a year......I felt HONORED. :) Anne

[sail7seas]

From the first we started sailing HAL, stewards have called us Ma'am 'Jane' and Sir "John". We like it and find it just familiar and friendly enough without being too 'chummy'. They are most professional IMO

[tomc]

solocanadian -- I really feel they are instucted by HAL to use first names. Have you noticed most of their name tags have one name only - their first name - probably because we'd never get our tongues around their surnames. I think they only have one name in their culture.

[mariner]

We have lasting relationships with quite a few HAL officers, crew and staff.

Once, before sailing out of Norfolk, we took our steward from the previous year out to dinner before he rejoined the ship. If I recall correctly, he had she crab soup, Caesar salad, a $180 lobster tail and helped consumer two bottles of fine wine. On the return trip, we took the captain and his wife out to lunch at he same place. They had burgers!

We prefer first names. But they usually Sir and Madam X.

A passenger once thought I was an English lord! Laughed myself silly over that one.

[bepsf]

solocanadian -- I think they only have one name in their culture.

Nope - They have first and last names...
...and the Filipinos sometimes have 4, 5 or even 6 names!

[luvs2travl]

Nope - They have first and last names...
...and the Filipinos sometimes have 4, 5 or even 6 names!


...and I dare anyone to try and pronounce them all! ;):) That's why they only have one name on their name tag! Ask your cabin steward sometime for their "full" name - then try to repeat it back to them! They get the biggest kick out of us when we've tried to do it! :D

[mariner]

Many in the Indonesian culture have one name.

The Filipinos are another story.

[jtl513]

So a room attendant referring to Mr John, or Miss Debbie may, actually, think they are using a surname anyway.I doubt that's true except possibly for the very newest stewards. Certainly the room stewards who deliver the many items addressed with surnames should figure it out in about a week or less. Besides, if John and Debbie were surnames, that would mean that they both have the same given name of Smith or Jones!

[Gablin]

...

Gablin: the officer would have been fired by any of my employers. They did not allow for the staff to have any kind of overfriendly or romantic relationships with customers. This was predominately done to protect the staff: maids were getting dragged into hotelrooms by guests enough against their will already, airhostesses getting stalked or intimately touched by passengers, etc. And what if your friend would have reported him for unappropriate behaviour, saying he was trying to do something to her? She would have been believed and he would have been fired.

This was a while back, either just before or just after HAL was purchased by Carnival. We were assigned to a table for eight for second seating, and there were only seven of us the first few evenings. We learned from one of the other passengers that we were to have a ship officer at our table on formal nights only. Sure enough, on the first formal night, the officer appeared in his dress white uniform. He was charming, gracious and had a marvelous Dutch accent. He bought three or four bottles of wine for the table. We were told that he would be back on the other formal nights, and so he was.

Later that first formal night, he showed up in one of the lounges where there was dance music, and danced with many of the single women there, as did several other ship officers and four or five "dance hosts." This happened every formal night of the cruise. There were five formal nights.

My friend was invited to have lunch in his private dining room, adjacent to his office and quarters. She told him she would be more comfortable if her friend (me) could come along with her.

My dear friend thoroughly enjoyed the flirtation, but had no intention of carrying it beyond the cruise or making it into more than it was. She and I think the officer hoped for much more than was available to him, but was gentleman enough to ask for her address and send her a note from [the next port] after we disembarked.

As the young people say, "No harm, no foul."

[bermuda triangle]

solocanadian -- I think they only have one name in their culture.

Quite the contrary following the Spanish tradition many Filipinos have extended names (typically including their mother and father's individual last names).

The Indonesians have an interesting naming system /http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesian_names (http://boards.cruisecritic.com/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesian_names) Although often times they use a variation of their name, even a shortened version of their last name, as the name found on their nametags. I know this to be the case in more than a few instances.

Laura

[solocanadian]

Nope - They have first and last names...
...and the Filipinos sometimes have 4, 5 or even 6 names!

I stand corrected, Brian.:)

[Pokeynose]

Yes we like to know our waiters and also our stewards. We have had the same two stewards on our last two cruises. We became good friends on board and knew about their families. They called us Mr. and Mrs. and then our first names which I was very comfortable with. In fact on our last cruise there was a small bouqet of flowers on our coffee table with a note "Welcome Back Mr. & Mrs. " We are hoping to get them on our next cruise since we will be in the same suite again. I won't mention their names but they were the best of the best. :D

I hate when I see a pax disrespect an employee. :mad:I probably would intercede on behalf of the employee if it were bad enough. But that's me. They have feelings too and of course can't talk back or fight for themselves.

[Sea King]

Now the captain, the maitre des and other high mucky muckys, I do not care to know their names.

why not?

then again, what are "high mucky muckys":rolleyes:

incredibly enough, captains, hotel managers, chief engineers, guest relation managers, dining room managers (maitre d' has gone the way of the Edsel), executive chefs, culinary operation managers, environmental officers (Copper John apparently knows one or 2) and bar managers have 1st names, families and even "friends", some of whom actually sail:eek:

give it a try

but, if you are invited to the Captain's Table, stay away from the "mucky muckys wine" .. go with a brand name:D

[sapper1]

why not?

then again, what are "high mucky muckys":rolleyes:

incredibly enough, captains, hotel managers, chief engineers, guest relation managers, dining room managers (maitre d' has gone the way of the Edsel), executive chefs, culinary operation managers, environmental officers (Copper John apparently knows one or 2) and bar managers have 1st names, families and even "friends", some of whom actually sail:eek:

give it a try

but, if you are invited to the Captain's Table, stay away from the "mucky muckys wine" .. go with a brand name:D
That is the first time I have ever heard the term "mucky muck" used by someone outside of the Maritime Provinces. I thought it was entirely a local term. I cannot think of a way to explain its meaning without getting into who uses it and who is at the receiving end, and that would get me flamed. Let's just say it is not meant in a kindly way.

As to the subject of this thread, I love interacting with the staff. They are what keep us coming back to HAL and why we would not bother experimenting with other lines. We enjoy being called by our first names, prefaced by a Ms or Mr.. It is so much nicer than the more formal surname but still enables the staff member to maintain a professional manner. It is also such a departure from the "dear" and "hon" that I am used to everywhere I go around home, that it is like a breath of fresh air.

[PeriB]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mucky-muck

Mucky-muck is an old expression - the dictionary says "arrogant and important position" (holder) (link above)

My Dad used this expression - I am from NY originally (by the border - Niagara Falls). I agree with other posters it is used as an insult.

[babyher]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mucky-muck

Mucky-muck is an old expression - the dictionary says "arrogant and important position" (holder) (link above)

My Dad used this expression - I am from NY originally (by the border - Niagara Falls). I agree with other posters it is used as an insult.


I am in Connecticut and we use Mucky Muck all the time. I am a 9-1-1 dispatcher and we use it when talking about the higher ups in the Police and Fire departments. Didn't know where the term came from or that it was an insult. Just thought it was slang for "the higher ups".

[iancal]

I believe that there are some people who believe that when they travel everyone wants to be their friend and they want to be everyone's friend.

The staff on the cruise ships are great. We have a lot of respect for these very hard working individuals who work for a pittance by our standards. Many do so to send money home to support their families and extended families.

I would never want to compromise any staff member or put them in a position where they are at the 'edge' of their employement regulations.

[Topsham]

Now the captain, the maitre des and other high mucky muckys, I do not care to know their names.


That 'mucky muck' Maitr'd is the one that makes certain that you get the good and polite service you receive in the restaurant and that 'mucky muck' captain might be the one who ends up saving your backside in an emergency. Learn his name, he might offer you a seat next to him in the lifeboat! ;)

Stephen

[Randyk47]

It is interesting how different words or phrases have different meanings in different areas of the country or to different people. Case in point obviously is "mucky muck". We use it from time to time in connection with our work with the government in referring to dealing with senior officials and it's not meant, at least to us, as a insult or derogatory comment. Of course working with the military we have a whole bunch of words, phrases, and acronyms that are unique to that environment. For instance, my wife just returned Thursday from DC where she was the facilitator for a BOGSAT. What's a BOGSAT? Bunch of Generals Sitting Around a Table. That usually results in a lot of GOBI's. GOBI? General Officer Bright Ideas. :D Obviously sometimes these are not terms of endearment. :)

[m steve]

Mr. Steve. I don't try to get too fasmiliar with staff as some get quite touchy feely if you let your guard down. They are paid servants and should act accordingly. I also overtip them for doing a good job, not for being my friend. I am sure some on this tread will think I'm a cold person. I am usually.

[GmaPajama]

That 'mucky muck' Maitr'd is the one that makes certain that you get the good and polite service you receive in the restaurant and that 'mucky muck' captain might be the one who ends up saving your backside in an emergency. Learn his name, he might offer you a seat next to him in the lifeboat! ;)

Stephen

Amen!

[bob brown]

When someone calls me "Mr. Brown", I correct them saying "Mr. Brown was my father, my name is Bob". That usually results in a smile all around. I like to learn crewmembers names because it helps me remember just who is my steward, etc., I like to carefully repeat and master the pronunciation of dificult names. Everyone likes to hear their names, and crewmembers are no exception. It shows that you care enough about them as a person, and not simply some anonymous servant.
I have found in all aspects of human relations, both personal and business, that you get much better reponse when you show that you know the persons name.
I like it especially when I am recognized, or I recognize a crewmember remembered from a previous cruise. That said, I don't make it a practice of keeping up with them otherwise. As for using names, I address crew members by the first name displayed on the name tag. The exception would be the Master of the vessel, who is always addressed as Captain, or other bridge officers as Mister.
I believe stewards like to tell you about their families, if you are interested, because mainly they miss them very much. And perhaps they feel that if you know their 'story' more intimately, you might feel compelled to increase their gratuity.
I find that in general, the crew will address people by their last name, with one notable exception...the cruise activities staff when conducting games almost always use the passengers first names.

[magandab]

It is also such a departure from the "dear" and "hon" that I am used to everywhere I go around home, that it is like a breath of fresh air.

Or, God forbid, the seemingly ubiquitous "you guys". shudder

[Topsham]

\. They are paid servants and should act accordingly. .


No way. They are not paid SERVANTS. They are SEAFARERS and part of a SHIP'S COMPANY. They are there as stewards, waiters, bartenders or whatever, but they are not SERVANTS!

Poor choice of word Mr Steve!

Stephen

[AlexandNessa]

There is just something special about HAL crew. We always learn their names and enjoy addressing them by such and learning a bit about their lives. We also love recognizing crew from cruise to cruise. Makes us feel at home!

My husband is "Sir Alex" or in some cases "Sir Coors Lite." We get a kick out of that as that is what my husband primarily drinks on cruises. Whenever we are invited to a cocktail party where the standard champagne and wine are on the trays, my husband never asks, but is always discreetly brought Coors Lite instead.

One other important aspect to learning names is to address the outstanding crew by name on the comment cards. In addition to tips and goodies, this is probably equally if not more important to them.

This is a minor thing, but not having been on HAL for 2 years, and then coming back to them in Fall 2009, we do not care for the new name tags. The name tags used to just have their first names. Now it's first, last, and a pic. They are too small now for my bad eyes to read, unless I'm invading their personal space!

[babyher]

No way. They are not paid SERVANTS. They are SEAFARERS and part of a SHIP'S COMPANY. They are there as stewards, waiters, bartenders or whatever, but they are not SERVANTS!

Poor choice of word Mr Steve!

Stephen



Even if they were SERVANTS, they are still human beings.


Just because it is their job to make my bed and clean my bathroom doesn't make me better than them.

I guess I have been a "Don't call me Sir, I work for a living" kinda guy for too long *LOL*

[luvs2travl]

No way. They are not paid SERVANTS. They are SEAFARERS and part of a SHIP'S COMPANY. They are there as stewards, waiters, bartenders or whatever, but they are not SERVANTS!

Poor choice of word Mr Steve!

Stephen

You beat me to it on that one! :mad:

PAID SERVANTS - really? Some of them would be your lifeboat captain in an emergency; others are members of the fire brigade; many have had first responder training; most - if not all of them, have proudly attended concentrated and often lengthy hotel schooling to even be considered for hiring by the cruiseline. These folks have jobs that have qualifications that they must meet, and are by no means, your "paid servants"! They are proud of what they do and they do it extremely well. How mean-spirited and demeaning of you to refer to these wonderful and dedicated people as such.

And yet, I 'd bet every one of them would be willing to give you - attitude & all - a friendly smile and impeccable service for the duration of your cruise. That's what makes them so special and what makes the majority of cruisers appreciate them, and even admire them, so very much.

[sail7seas]

How can anyone ever knock a person who does an honest day's work. I can't imagine not respecting whatever work any person does that is legal.

It sickens me to read something so disrespectful about such hardworking, genuine, honorable people but I suspect it was posted just FOR its shock value and to get the attention it is getting.

Sad.

When one disrespects some other group one wonders how much self respect that person has. :(

[m steve]

That is not derogatory. There is a servant class whose job is to work to please you as a waiter, steward, maid, butler, driver , etc. they are paid a decent wage and their job is to do what they are hired to do. It is quite a respectable occupation or they wouldn't be doing it. I did not call them slaves. I respect their job and they understand how to help (serve) us as passengers. Some people are just too touchy about the correct words. Many servants make more money than some people cruising. I am sure if they sailed Cunard, they would not take every crew member as a buddy but expect them to do the job they are hired to do and defer to the cabin occupant as a paid customer.

[Texas Tillie]

That is not derogatory. There is a servant class whose job is to work to please you ...

Servant CLASS?????? m steve, might I suggest you quit digging a deeper hole for yourself!!!

[magandab]

Even if it were true that the fantastic crew and staff of any cruise ship are of some "class" whose work it is to "please" you..... the word servant is incorrect.

From Websters:

: one that serves others <a public servant>; especially : one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer

Since these hardworking and personable folks are NOT working for the government to serve others, nor are they your personally hired employees, to serve you in your home, they are NOT servants.

Finally, on board ship, or pretty much anywhere else, nobody is hired to "please" you, only to do the job they are hired to do. As is clear from these board, many cannot be pleased no matter what is done for them.

[babyher]

That is not derogatory. There is a servant class whose job is to work to please you as a waiter, steward, maid, butler, driver , etc. they are paid a decent wage and their job is to do what they are hired to do. It is quite a respectable occupation or they wouldn't be doing it. I did not call them slaves. I respect their job and they understand how to help (serve) us as passengers. Some people are just too touchy about the correct words. Many servants make more money than some people cruising. I am sure if they sailed Cunard, they would not take every crew member as a buddy but expect them to do the job they are hired to do and defer to the cabin occupant as a paid customer.



Since my Mom has gotten a little older , she has a cleaning woman come in one day a month to do the heavy duty housework she can't do anymore.

By your definition this woman is the servant class.

When the woman comes to the house my mom has coffee and cake with her and always has a nice lunch ready that they both enjoy when she is finished with her work.

In fact there have been several workmen and repairmen who have done work in her house that have been treated to her cooking if they are still there working around meal time

I guess it's in my bloodline not to be to the manor born *LOL*

[suenruss]

I enjoy talking to the ships workers when they are assisting us, and finding out where they are from - it's nice to find out a little about which part of the world they are from. I also; as some others have said; enjoy surprising a few people who don't normally get tips, with a few pounds or dollars at the end of the cruise. They are usually genuinely delighted. ( M Steve ... do you class waiters at your local restaurants, or shop assistants as servants - same difference really, isn't it? Most of us are working people, except some have to leave their families for months on end.)

[pris993]

I try to learn their names, often they are quiet different, so takes some effort. They always call us by name, first or last. We don't care.

Only occassionally have we developed a relationship with a hostess or other crew member. Did invite several crew members (i.e., hostess, security folks, the chef and assistant) for cocktails in our cabin (a suite) - they were very happy to be invited. It was a lot o fun.

We often invite staff in the MDR or our cabin steward and staff to enjoy desserts we have purchased ashore - when we have too much to enjoy ourselves. This happens when we are cruising in the Mediterranean and can get some really good pastries. We are not a fan of most desserts on cruise ships, more cream and fat/sugar then cake. The staff enjoys having something different.

[Sprocket]

Mr. Steve. I don't try to get too fasmiliar with staff as some get quite touchy feely if you let your guard down. They are paid servants and should act accordingly. I also overtip them for doing a good job, not for being my friend. I am sure some on this tread will think I'm a cold person. I am usually.

I can think of a few other adjectives that would describe you after a comment like that. I think it would be apt if somehow you could be made to do the job of just one crew member for a day on your next cruise. Might give you a little different perspective about respecting others.

[m steve]

They are recruited to work as waiters, room stewards, barmen and kitchen help in the Phillipines and Indonesia. HAL operates a school to train them. They take pride in their work. They are trained to serve us on the ships. They are servants and are paid a better wage than they could earn at home. They are not hired to be our buddies.

[Copper10-8]

They are recruited to work as waiters, room stewards, barmen and kitchen help in the Phillipines and Indonesia. HAL operates a school to train them. They take pride in their work. They are trained to serve us on the ships. They are servants and are paid a better wage than they could earn at home. They are not hired to be our buddies.

Maybe "service staff" is a better word to describe them hard workers, no? "Servants" kinda goes back to that Titanic era. Btw, they don't need to become your best buds ever but that doesn't mean you can't show an interest in their lives/family/length of contracts, etc. If you don't care for that stuff, more power to you! To each their own as they say

[Gaucho39]

They are recruited to work as waiters, room stewards, barmen and kitchen help in the Phillipines and Indonesia. HAL operates a school to train them. They take pride in their work. They are trained to serve us on the ships. They are servants and are paid a better wage than they could earn at home. They are not hired to be our buddies.

Unfortunately it's too late,you've already revealed yourself.

[NMLady]

Mr. Steve. I don't try to get too fasmiliar with staff as some get quite touchy feely if you let your guard down. They are paid servants and should act accordingly. I also overtip them for doing a good job, not for being my friend. I am sure some on this tread will think I'm a cold person. I am usually.

If you think the staff are 'paid servants', then I guess that is also how you think of flight attendants on the airplane and how you think of waiters or waitresses in restaurants in your hometown?

I'd never think of any of those people as 'paid servants' just as I wouldn't think of grocery store cashiers as 'paid servants' simply because they wait on me. I was a teacher for many years but I guess if I taught your children, I'd simply be another 'paid servant' since your taxes helped pay my salary.

To me, even though your Daily Service Charge pays for part of the services, those staff members are not 'paid servants' since that implies that YOU pay them and can boss them around. But it is the cruise line who essentially pays them. The staff is there to HELP you. That is the kind of service they give. As helpers, they deserve respect, which imo includes being called by name.

[NMLady]

That is the first time I have ever heard the term "mucky muck" used by someone outside of the Maritime Provinces. I thought it was entirely a local term....

I live in New Mexico and am a transplant from Southern California. Many of us in both states have used the phrase 'high mucky muck' many times to refer to people high up the ladder who have power and prestige.
So, the phrase is definitely not a local term. It's probably used all throughout the US and Canada and possibly further.

[jtl513]

Although often times they use a variation of their name, even a shortened version of their last name, as the name found on their nametags. I know this to be the case in more than a few instances.Many of those names are obviously "chosen" (Hunky Dory, John Wayne, Shy, Gelato and Giovanni in the Canalettos, etc) while others are truncations of their first or last names for our convenience. Once we had a waiter and assistant both named Wan. It turned out that was the last 3 letters of their very long first names.

That is the first time I have ever heard the term "mucky muck" used by someone outside of the Maritime Provinces. I thought it was entirely a local term.
I am in Connecticut and we use Mucky Muck all the time.I too grew up in CT and we always said Muckety-Muck

[Taxguy77]

I very much enjoy getting to know the people who take care of us. I'm another one who prefers being on a first name basis - it just feels so elegant to be addressed as "Ms Donna". I also go out of my way to seek out and get to know a lower level worker on each cruise. I so enjoy their delight in being greeted by name ... and their shock at a final day tip. It's usually a crew member who cleans one of the ship's public areas, or regularly sets up a lounge or something. Someone many people don't even notice. I also put that person's name on my comment card, as I know it's important for him or her to be recognized by a supervisor.

Perhaps having had to waitress my way through college makes me sensitive to hard workers who often go unrecognized.

You are a very nice person.!:) I would like to meet you, but am glad some hard-working person will in my place. There is a spot reserverved for you in the afterlife!

[Taxguy77]

One delightful thing I've noticed on HAL is that if a staff member introduces him/herself, and asks your name, they do it in the most elegant way. Rather than being asked "What is your name?" I have almost always been asked "What should I call you?" A small difference that that allows those who are uncomfortable being called by their first names by service personnel (a whole other issue that I can't fathom, but that's just me) to be addressed as they wish.

I have noticed that when I take the time to read the nametag, maybe ask for the correct pronunciation, and engage a little about this person's life, family, home, my cruise experience is elevated immeasurably.

There is an enormous difference between "what should I call you" and your first name!:eek: It is a shame many servers don't know this!.
Until I know a server well, I do NOT like to be refered to by my first name! I have failed to buy from people on just that "faux paux" (I would use a different term, but it would be deleted!).

[Taxguy77]

Don't go on Royal Caribbean. They address everyone by their first names. All the staff, cabin stewards, dining room waiters, you name it. Doesn't matter if you are 20 or 70 years old.

I personally do not mind at all.

Johanna

Only need 2 letters;
B and S

[Taxguy77]

I always try to learn the names of my Dining Room Stewards, Wine Steward, Area Supervisor, Cabin Stewards, and the Bar Staff in the Lounges I frequent the most. On long cruises, if there appears to be a lull in their work (or if the Main Dining room is somewhat empty in their area -- I pay attention) I will engage them in a bit of conversation about their home, how long they've been aboard, if it's not their first contract then what other ships have they served on, etc.

They will often reciprocate with questions regarding where I am from, what I do, etc. After the first time I wear clerics to the Main Dining room the title of address shifts from Mr. to Father.

On RARE occasions I have had repeated contact with stewards from one cruise to another cruise. In those cases I've been amazed that they not only remember my face, they remember my name! Incredible!

HAL's staff are the absolute BEST.

You ARE memorable, whether you know it or not.:)
On our only HAL vouyage, a bartender felt familiar enough to ask me if I "Believed in Christmas!". I said yes, and he said he was from Bali (Hindu). Found our beliefs were not that far apart, only the "Son of God" was just a prophet (sp)to him.

[magandab]

Seems to be my day for definitions. I have lived in California since age 6, a long long time and I've always been familiar with, as we say, Muckety-Muck or if we really want to drive the point home "Lord High Muckety-Muck. Anway, from Definitions.com

high muckamuck also high muckety-muck
n. Slang
An important, often overbearing person.

[From Chinook Jargon hayo makamak, plenty to eat.]

Word History: One might not immediately associate the word high muckamuck with fur traders and Native Americans, but it seems that English borrowed the term from Chinook Jargon, a pidgin language combining words from English, French, Nootka, Chinook, and the Salishan languages that was formerly used by them in the Pacific Northwest. In this language hayo makamak meant "plenty to eat" and is recorded in that sense in English contexts, the first one dated 1853, in which the phrase is spelled Hiou Muckamuck. In 1856 we find the first recorded instance of the word meaning "pompous person, person of importance," in the Democratic State Journal published in Sacramento: "The professors—the high 'Muck-a-Mucks'—tried fusion, and produced confusion."

[Taxguy77]

Perhaps having had to waitress my way through college makes me sensitive to hard workers who often go unrecognized.

An astute post from a regular cruiser.
We have encouraged work as a GOOD learning experience for our children (and grandchildren!:) ALL of them to date have bean servers; learned that there are nice people, fair people and ass-----s! All of them have finished college (or will next year, said his legs hurt MORE than ever playing ice hockey!, and he has good grades). This may be the best thing to come from living on the beach!

[iamaqt2]

Wow... so many opinions, not all of which everyone will agree on.

I initially asked because I was genuinely curious from many of the posts I had read on here.

While I personally do not agree with every viewpoint put forth, thank you to all for your willingness to answer my question, and to the examples that went along with your replies.

Also here in the Pacific Northwest, we use the term Mucky-muck or Muckety-muck to mean a person in a high position. I've heard variations on both, so neither one is used more than the other around here. It's definitely not used in a derogatory manner.

[Kween Karen]

I totally enjoy meeting the staff on all levels. It was so fun to be on a longer cruise and really have time to talk with people. I like being called by my first name and many of the crew were not comfortable with that so we would settle on "Miss Karen".....

[serendipity1499]

I'm from the Long Island & we always used the term to mean someone important in our Company or the Govt. such as: "A bunch of high mucky-mucks from Brussels are arriving this morning" .

We used this term when we were unsure of their exact titles, but wanted to impress upon someone the fact that they were "Big Wig's"...It was never used in a derogatory way..

Also don't care what they call me as long as it's not "You're late for breakfast" LOL

Cheers...:)Betty

[PathfinderEss]

I have read so many threads on here where people go out of their way to learn the names of the staff who are serving them.

I really don't feel like becoming that familiar with them onboard. I'll tip them accordingly, and thank them for a job well done. I would just feel really uncomfortable calling them by their first names and even going so far as to keep in contact with them as some CC members have done.

My question to you all is this...

How familiar are you willing to become with the staff?
Not only do I lean their name, I ask them about their families, about how long they have worked for Hal, the ships they have sailed on, where they come from etc.. I love talking to them and everyone else on the cruise, its just the way I am.

[DizzyDallasDi]

I travel solo and a few of the bartenders are always my BFFs :) by the end of the cruise. In fact, I had a wonderful time chatting with the room service guy who answered the phone on my last cruise. He was a real hoot and called himself Newman after the Seinfeld character. I wish I could have met him in person.

I'm always amazed at the smiles and greetings I receive from all who work on HAL's ships. They work very very hard and put up with more crap from cranky passengers than any of us would in our jobs. I have the utmost respect for the crew and enjoy talkinig to them about their families, how long they've been away and when they get to go back home, the ships they've worked on and the sights they's seen. HAL seems to have a knack for recruiting the best crew around.

[pspercy]

When one disrespects some other group

Please spare us the "newspeak".

[richmon]

Back in 1984 we sailed on The Rotterdam V with my mom, mom-in-law and 23 month old son. The comedian that week was Frank Berry (where is he now?). Two years later my wife and I sailed on The Rotterdam again. After the bon voyage partying we headed to the cabin to ready for dinner. As we exited the elevator we saw a man about 50 feet ahead of us in the corridor. I looked at my wife and said "I think that is the comedian from the last cruise". A few seconds later I thought of his name and called out "Mr Berry". The man stopped, wheeled about (it was him), looked right at us and said "Well hello. Where's the little one?!"

We also tell the staff to use our first names. Mr and Mrs are reserved for old people. BTW, I'm 56. We learn the names of various crew especially servers, bartenders, barmaids, and some of the entertainers both headliners and band members.

[English_in_Spain]

When we were cruising regularly on HAL in the late 1990s there were often several staff from our previous cruise and they remembered us.

We always call staff and crew whatever it says on their badge. On HAL they always called us Sir Bob and Mama Carol. I liked that.

The waiters, barmen and stewards love to show you photos of their families back home - particularly if they have young children. Maybe because they think I look the 'mumsie' type - or nowadays more the 'gandmumsie' type :D

We sail with HAL again soon but our last one was 2004. I wouldn't think anyone would remember us now.

[Sea King]

Mr. Steve. I don't try to get too fasmiliar with staff as some get quite touchy feely if you let your guard down. They are paid servants and should act accordingly. I also overtip them for doing a good job, not for being my friend. I am sure some on this tread will think I'm a cold person. I am usually.

this is a joke, right:confused:

let's hear it for "freedom of speech":rolleyes:

even something as ridiculous as calling crew "servants" is permissible:mad:

too bad about that:eek:

[m steve]

are just out of work actors or recently fired bankers.:rolleyes:

[cmdchiefthom]

Years back, my DW and I developed a great relationship with a bartender by the name of Edgar. Eventually, he mentioned to us that he was going to marry an American girl within the next year. On the last night of the cruise, I happened to stop by the Ocean Bar, and it was mostly empty. He and I said our goodbyes, and as I turned to leave he asked me if I would consider acting as his best man, but he actually asked if I would "sponsor him". Of course I got a little nervous, thinking it had something to do with immigration, but I told him I needed to pass it through my wife. I went back to my cabin, and recounted the conversation with my wife. We both concluded that what he meant was, would I be his best man. I went back to the Ocean Bar, and asked him if that was what he meant, by "sponsor him" and indeed it was. Many months later, my DW and I flew to New Hampshire from Indiana, and I was proud to stand up for him, in traditional Philippino dress, a Barong, at his wedding.

I just returned from ten days aboard the Zuiderdam, and two of the bartenders on the Zui knew exactly who my wife and I were because they remembered I had been the best man at their friend's wedding over ten years ago. :)

[sail7seas]

When one disrespects some other group

Please spare us the "newspeak".


Why Spare you the 'newspeak'? It's meaning is understood by most.
Would it change my message had I said 'be disrespectful'?

The message is the contribution to the conversation. Not whether you like the new 'lingo'.
My point is to be respectful. ;)

[RuthC]

The comedian that week was Frank Berry (where is he now?).
Oh, wasn't he wonderful! :) He always remembered me, too, from one cruise to the next.
Last I knew, quite a few years ago, was that he was going to Princess. I haven't heard a thing about him ever since. :( I would love to run into him again.

Now back to our regularly scheduled thread. :o

[Copper10-8]

I think they only have one name in their culture.


Nope; they abbreviate their sometimes very long and multiple names to a short one

I Gede Putu Indra Bangsawan, dining room manager on Oosterdam is known and addressed as simply Indra

Ida Bagus Made Gunawan, known as Bagus

You can also still find true and typical Dutch names within the Indonesian names such as:

Heri Bertus Iwan Setiyawan; Bertus being the Dutch name or

Andre Yuris Taufik Hikmat with Andre being the Dutch name

[donaldsc]

I treat them with respect but I certainly do not expect them to become my friends or long term buddies. With regard to our names, we expect to be called Mr. and Mrs. With respect to their names, they tell me what name I should use.

DON

[m steve]

you will probably be flamed as I was calling the staff servants.

[Y's Owl]

Perhaps it generational that people would consider our crew members to be servants, or some other word now considered derrogatory. I remember having an argument with my mother on one of our first cruises because she tended to refer to our stewards as "boys."

When I explained to her that the word could be considered an insult or even have racist undertones, she cried because that is not trully what she meant to convey. She even went as far as to appologize to them the next night at dinner. She loved her "boys" very much and very much appreciated the good service we received on the ship. I felt bad that I had brought her to tears, but I do know she never called them boys again.

We forget that our language is a constantly changing thing and words that used to not have great meaning are now considered politically incorrect. I think too that there used to be times where things were more formal and social distances were created. We see less and less of that these days, thus the continuing discussion about formal nights on the ships.

There is something to be said about the elegance of the past, but then again, I do prefer to be called by my first name and do like being waited on while wearing my formal attire. I just no longer expect to be waited on by a servant boy. Instead I am being waited on by another respected human being who is trying to better himself and his family while trying to make my vacation memorable. Learning a bit more about him or her makes that more possible and makes my life more enriched.

[middle-aged mom]

Perhaps it generational that people would consider our crew members to be servants, or some other word now considered derrogatory. I remember having an argument with my mother on one of our first cruises because she tended to refer to our stewards as "boys."

When I explained to her that the word could be considered an insult or even have racist undertones, she cried because that is not trully what she meant to convey. She even went as far as to appologize to them the next night at dinner. She loved her "boys" very much and very much appreciated the good service we received on the ship. I felt bad that I had brought her to tears, but I do know she never called them boys again.

We forget that our language is a constantly changing thing and words that used to not have great meaning are now considered politically incorrect. I think too that there used to be times where things were more formal and social distances were created. We see less and less of that these days, thus the continuing discussion about formal nights on the ships.

There is something to be said about the elegance of the past, but then again, I do prefer to be called by my first name and do like being waited on while wearing my formal attire. I just no longer expect to be waited on by a servant boy. Instead I am being waited on by another respected human being who is trying to better himself and his family while trying to make my vacation memorable. Learning a bit more about him or her makes that more possible and makes my life more enriched.

The very best post on this subject. Thank you for your cogent and thoughtful observations.

[luvs2travl]

Perhaps it generational that people would consider our crew members to be servants, or some other word now considered derrogatory. I remember having an argument with my mother on one of our first cruises because she tended to refer to our stewards as "boys."

When I explained to her that the word could be considered an insult or even have racist undertones, she cried because that is not trully what she meant to convey. She even went as far as to appologize to them the next night at dinner. She loved her "boys" very much and very much appreciated the good service we received on the ship. I felt bad that I had brought her to tears, but I do know she never called them boys again.

We forget that our language is a constantly changing thing and words that used to not have great meaning are now considered politically incorrect. I think too that there used to be times where things were more formal and social distances were created. We see less and less of that these days, thus the continuing discussion about formal nights on the ships.

There is something to be said about the elegance of the past, but then again, I do prefer to be called by my first name and do like being waited on while wearing my formal attire. I just no longer expect to be waited on by a servant boy. Instead I am being waited on by another respected human being who is trying to better himself and his family while trying to make my vacation memorable. Learning a bit more about him or her makes that more possible and makes my life more enriched.

Most exquisitely said! Thank you so much.

[MrsMuir]

Y's Owl, you are indeed wise. Your post made me think of the way my elderly mother used to refer to her hairdresser or a bank teller as "the girl," even if they were middle-aged. Nowadays she usually calls them by name or by their job title. Mother has told me how her grandmother would never have dreamed of sitting at the kitchen table with the woman hired to clean the house. Guess we're not that far from the green baize door that separated Upstairs from Downstairs -- except that most of us know both sides of that door.

What an interesting thread. DH and I enjoy getting to know the crew and the officers. DH likes to sketch, and often I can find him at a table by the Lido Pool at quiet times of the day, with Filipino beverage servers looking on. It's a great "gimmick" as TomC would put it, but the staff are so warm, it's hard not to be on friendly terms.

Mrs M

[RevNeal]

VERY well said, Y's Owl. Thank you!

[whogo]

I treat them with respect but I certainly do not expect them to become my friends or long term buddies. With regard to our names, we expect to be called Mr. and Mrs. With respect to their names, they tell me what name I should use.

DON This is my feeling exactly. I would not think of trying to make "friends" with someone whose livelihood depends on keeping me and other guests happy. Does the staff member involved want to make friends with me or is he trying to keep his job and earn tips? I will interact with other paying guests who are free to become friendly or to tell me to buzz off.

[babyher]

Perhaps it generational that people would consider our crew members to be servants, or some other word now considered derrogatory. I remember having an argument with my mother on one of our first cruises because she tended to refer to our stewards as "boys."

When I explained to her that the word could be considered an insult or even have racist undertones, she cried because that is not trully what she meant to convey. She even went as far as to appologize to them the next night at dinner. She loved her "boys" very much and very much appreciated the good service we received on the ship. I felt bad that I had brought her to tears, but I do know she never called them boys again.

We forget that our language is a constantly changing thing and words that used to not have great meaning are now considered politically incorrect. I think too that there used to be times where things were more formal and social distances were created. We see less and less of that these days, thus the continuing discussion about formal nights on the ships.

There is something to be said about the elegance of the past, but then again, I do prefer to be called by my first name and do like being waited on while wearing my formal attire. I just no longer expect to be waited on by a servant boy. Instead I am being waited on by another respected human being who is trying to better himself and his family while trying to make my vacation memorable. Learning a bit more about him or her makes that more possible and makes my life more enriched.

Very well said

There have been so many times my mom (now in her 80's) will use a term or mention something that was "just the way it was" in her day , and I will think "Man what a war that would cause today."

Its even more intensified when she talks about these things with my kids. They think she is making stuff up or else she was totally from another planet.

[Y's Owl]

Thank you Babyher, RevNeal, MrMuir, luvs2travl and MiddleAgeMom for your kind words. When I saw this thread, I thought my experience with Mom would be appropriate to the subject and I am glad you agree.

On my most recent cruise I didn't have Mom or Dad with me as I had on all my other cruises. They both passed away last year 3 months apart, and I went on the last cruise to sort of rest up from all the stress involved with their passing. My toughest day on the cruise though was the day before arriving in Aruba since Aruba was where the two of them had met, got married and where I was eventually born.

It was also a stop we made together on my first cruise on the Rotterdam V in April of 1993. Aruba was a much different place than it was in 1957 when I was born. The Lago Colony at Sero Colorado was a bustling city and my parents had house servants and there were all kinds of perks there for the American Patriots serving overseas. It truly was a different era and when we stopped there together in 1992, it was a shock for them to see most of the colony gone. When I went there again this time, I was genuinely glad they did not see how much more decline there had been to this corner of the island since 1993.

The one thing they would have been proud of though was the Maasdam and her great crew. Mom's "boys", although different persons, were still the friendly, caring folks we remembered meeting when we last sailed on her in 1996. The green door mentioned above could not be truer.

While most of us are enjoying our vacation, we cannot escape that the rest of the days of our lives we are all in the Service Business. Even a CEO or President of the United States has to deliver their services to their voters, customers or shareholders or else they won't be in those positions very long. If one thinks that they are being friendly to make a tip, I would suggest that really doesn't matter because even if that is so, they are certainly not making up their life story. It's that story, or that interaction with others from different walks in life that will enrich your life. And if you like the experience enough to cough up twenty bucks or so at the end of your cruise, it was well worth the price, no matter what currency you are using.

[serendipity1499]

Thank you Babyher, RevNeal, MrMuir, luvs2travl and MiddleAgeMom for your kind words. When I saw this thread, I thought my experience with Mom would be appropriate to the subject and I am glad you agree.

On my most recent cruise I didn't have Mom or Dad with me as I had on all my other cruises. They both passed away last year 3 months apart, and I went on the last cruise to sort of rest up from all the stress involved with their passing. My toughest day on the cruise though was the day before arriving in Aruba since Aruba was where the two of them had met, got married and where I was eventually born.

It was also a stop we made together on my first cruise on the Rotterdam V in April of 1993. Aruba was a much different place than it was in 1957 when I was born. The Lago Colony at Sero Colorado was a bustling city and my parents had house servants and there were all kinds of perks there for the American Patriots serving overseas. It truly was a different era and when we stopped there together in 1992, it was a shock for them to see most of the colony gone. When I went there again this time, I was genuinely glad they did not see how much more decline there had been to this corner of the island since 1993.

The one thing they would have been proud of though was the Maasdam and her great crew. Mom's "boys", although different persons, were still the friendly, caring folks we remembered meeting when we last sailed on her in 1996. The green door mentioned above could not be truer.

While most of us are enjoying our vacation, we cannot escape that the rest of the days of our lives we are all in the Service Business. Even a CEO or President of the United States has to deliver their services to their voters, customers or shareholders or else they won't be in those positions very long. If one thinks that they are being friendly to make a tip, I would suggest that really doesn't matter because even if that is so, they are certainly not making up their life story. It's that story, or that interaction with others from different walks in life that will enrich your life. And if you like the experience enough to cough up twenty bucks or so at the end of your cruise, it was well worth the price, no matter what currency you are using.

Y's Owl..Beautiful posts! Both convey my feelings exactly but you have a wonderful way with words that I wish I had..Thank you so much!

We are so sorry about the loss of your parents & hope that the happy memories of your time & trips with them will comfort you..

We understand your dismay with Aruba..DH & I were married & spent our short Honeymoon at the Hotel Divi-Divi in 1976..Our first time back to Aruba was in 1999 & we too were shocked at the decline of the beautiful Island we happily explored..Every time we return, we find things that we remembered of our honeymoon are no longer there, including the Divi-Divi..So sad!..

Re our HAL Stewards: On one of our earlier cruises I instinctivly hugged our DR Stewards on the last night, as I would my Son who was about the same age..Later learned that I might have offended them, as their culture might frown on any physical contact between women & men...

I was distressed to learn that I might have upset them, but a very insightful CC poster assured me that was not the case with the wonderful HAL Stewards...She pointed out that they would accept my hug as coming from a Mother to a Son..Since then I've had many Stewards hug me first when we said our goodby's & I know it was not just for their tip..

We completely agree with you...It amazes me to read posts from those who can't bring themselves to inter-act with those they perciecve to be below them..:rolleyes: Understand that some of this is actually shyness, but there are times that many come across as being supercilious:(...What a shame!

Thanks again for your insightful posts..

Cheers....:)Betty

[babyher]

Thank you Babyher, RevNeal, MrMuir, luvs2travl and MiddleAgeMom for your kind words. When I saw this thread, I thought my experience with Mom would be appropriate to the subject and I am glad you agree.

On my most recent cruise I didn't have Mom or Dad with me as I had on all my other cruises. They both passed away last year 3 months apart, and I went on the last cruise to sort of rest up from all the stress involved with their passing. My toughest day on the cruise though was the day before arriving in Aruba since Aruba was where the two of them had met, got married and where I was eventually born.

It was also a stop we made together on my first cruise on the Rotterdam V in April of 1993. Aruba was a much different place than it was in 1957 when I was born. The Lago Colony at Sero Colorado was a bustling city and my parents had house servants and there were all kinds of perks there for the American Patriots serving overseas. It truly was a different era and when we stopped there together in 1992, it was a shock for them to see most of the colony gone. When I went there again this time, I was genuinely glad they did not see how much more decline there had been to this corner of the island since 1993.

The one thing they would have been proud of though was the Maasdam and her great crew. Mom's "boys", although different persons, were still the friendly, caring folks we remembered meeting when we last sailed on her in 1996. The green door mentioned above could not be truer.

While most of us are enjoying our vacation, we cannot escape that the rest of the days of our lives we are all in the Service Business. Even a CEO or President of the United States has to deliver their services to their voters, customers or shareholders or else they won't be in those positions very long. If one thinks that they are being friendly to make a tip, I would suggest that really doesn't matter because even if that is so, they are certainly not making up their life story. It's that story, or that interaction with others from different walks in life that will enrich your life. And if you like the experience enough to cough up twenty bucks or so at the end of your cruise, it was well worth the price, no matter what currency you are using.


You are so right.

You and I are about the same age (I am 47). Our parents truly were "the greatest generation ". So they weren't politically correct in their speech, and some of their views on things were a little arcaic(to todays way of thinking :). For what they lived through and what they accomplished and how they kept their families going is to be admired.

[m steve]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant although I am sure they would like to recite their credits and give you a resume or in a hotel with the house keeper (providing you spoke Spanish) but for some reason I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?
And doesn't HAL have a training program to teach them how to serve you with a smile?

[furluvcats]

We became great friends with our piano man on our last HAL cruise and we see him at least monthly if not more in Vegas where he is now performing....also we have remained friends with a guy from cruise staff and will be visiting with him when we are in Vancouver next month as he is now off ships as well...we even invited him to dine with us on the final formal night of the cruise we spent with him...especially when you are on the longer cruises, its hard to not pick favorites that go above and beyond in service and entertainment!

[babyher]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant although I am sure they would like to recite their credits and give you a resume or in a hotel with the house keeper (providing you spoke Spanish) but for some reason I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?
And doesn't HAL have a training program to teach them how to serve you with a smile?

To tell you the truth I do strike up a converstaion with my servers in land based restaurants. Not if they are busy with other diners but, if it is slow and they have time to chat. Same with grocery store cashiers , the girls at the donut place I get coffee every morning, and quite a few others.

I am not trying to make friends with them. I find most people are very friendly and enjoy chatting if given the chance . And it nice to meet people.

[Copper10-8]

...........I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?.....................

You're not! What's the big deal? To each his/her own!

[Y's Owl]

You're not! What's the big deal? To each his/her own!

Exactly, but remember it takes more physical effort to show a frown than a smile. When I am on vacation, I want to limit my physical activity and relax. Therefore it's all smiles for me.

[babyher]

Exactly, but remember it takes more physical effort to show a frown than a smile. When I am on vacation, I want to limit my physical activity and relax. Therefore it's all smiles for me.


I like that attitude :)

[NMLady]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant ...

Actually, if it were a restaurant that I went to as frequently as I visit the Lido or the MDR and the waiter/waitress had time to chat, I'd probably do the same. Being 'friendly' doesn't necessarily mean becoming friends.

[madelinerose]

Why should I be required to do more?


Did someone here say you are? :confused:

[iamaqt2]

I can't believe this thread is still going strong! So many people with so many viewpoints.

I wasn't going to post why I asked, but since so many of you have been forthcoming, I will too.

I'm 39, travelling with DH for 10th anniversary, and our 2 children. It seems like so many of you go out of your way to spend time getting to know the staff and hanging out in the lounges. I was thinking to myself, where am I going to find the time to spend with my family, and getting to know all these staff onboard? It was starting to feel like I'd be pressured, and not enjoying my cruise. So I'm glad I asked, as it seems that many of you that enjoy spending time learning about the staff and spending time hearing their stories have already raised your families and have time to devote to other pursuits.

This cruise is a special occasion for us, and we want to just focus on us, and not anyone else. If that sounds selfish, it's probably because it is:D

If you think back and were in my situation, would you have made the efforts you do now to get to know the staff, or would your attentions have been focused on your family?

[Two@Sea]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant although I am sure they would like to recite their credits and give you a resume or in a hotel with the house keeper (providing you spoke Spanish) but for some reason I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?
And doesn't HAL have a training program to teach them how to serve you with a smile?

You may "say please and thank you and tip them for their service" but the highlighted portion of your post says far more.

[schoolinmy3]

I'm 39, travelling with DH for 10th anniversary, and our 2 children. It seems like so many of you go out of your way to spend time getting to know the staff and hanging out in the lounges. I was thinking to myself, where am I going to find the time to spend with my family, and getting to know all these staff onboard? It was starting to feel like I'd be pressured, and not enjoying my cruise. So I'm glad I asked, as it seems that many of you that enjoy spending time learning about the staff and spending time hearing their stories have already raised your families and have time to devote to other pursuits.

This cruise is a special occasion for us, and we want to just focus on us, and not anyone else. If that sounds selfish, it's probably because it is:D

If you think back and were in my situation, would you have made the efforts you do now to get to know the staff, or would your attentions have been focused on your family?

My husband and I are in our 40's and took our first cruise (on the Westerdam) in 2008 for our 20th anniversary. We cruised to be together, not to meet other people or make friends, but to relax together. Next month we are cruising to the Mediterranean with our three kids and again, we are cruising to spend time together as a family. The fact that HAL will not have many kids is actually a plus for us because we want to be together. We are not seeking an escape from our kids, expecting them to be occupied with their activities and ourselves in separate activities. It just isn't the way we like our vacations to be. Our kids are 10, 17 and 19. So I can relate to what you are saying. We are always polite to everyone on the ship, including the stewards, and gracious without (hopefully) being demanding or critical. We know they work hard and definitely don't want to make their work more difficult. My husband did notice that one steward in the Lido always sought us out and knew our names. One morning when it wasn't so busy, my husband did ask him about his family and so forth, drew him out a little, and it was very nice to learn a little of his life story.
diane

[RevNeal]

You may "say please and thank you and tip them for their service" but the highlighted portion of your post says far more.

I agree completely. And not over-stated on your part, either. Thank you.

[Copper10-8]

Once again, to each his/her own!:cool: Isn't life grand? No one is standing behind you holding a sword to your back forcing you to make small talk with the staff. And no one is holding a Glock 21 to your head telling you to acknowledge staff over and beyond what is deemed professional. Everybody a happy camper!

[cccole]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant although I am sure they would like to recite their credits and give you a resume or in a hotel with the house keeper (providing you spoke Spanish) but for some reason I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?
And doesn't HAL have a training program to teach them how to serve you with a smile?


Your response is a joke, right? Your response was just to see what people would say and get a few "riled up?" Cherie

[maxout]

Once again, to each his/her own!:cool: Isn't life grand? No one is standing behind you holding a sword to your back forcing you to make small talk with the staff. And no one is holding a Glock 21 to your head telling you to acknowledge staff over and beyond what is deemed professional. Everybody a happy camper!

Exactly!! Don't nit-pick this experience to death. 1) Get on the ship 2) enjoy yourself 3) let the experence unfold as it will, life is too short for all this analysis

[Topsham]

[quote=iamaqt2;24021804]

I'm 39, travelling with DH for 10th anniversary, and our 2 children. It seems like so many of you go out of your way to spend time getting to know the staff and hanging out in the lounges.
?[/quo

It goes like this. On your cruise you might spend days in X, Y & Z ports... going ashore, sightseeing, learning something about the people and their culture. You may or may not make a friend. That is was travel is all about. It is not about the destination, but how you get there.

Now, on that same cruise you might spend days A, B & C at sea... in between ports X, Y & Z. If you spend five minutes on Day X chatting to your cabin steward or dining room steward you might learn something about Bali or Jakarta. On Day Y you might spend five minutes chatting to a bar tender or waitress and you might learn something about Manila or Davao. On Day Z you might spend five minutes chatting to the Captain or one of his officers and learn something about Amsterdam or Utrecht.

Before you know it, you have chatted with half a dozen crew and staff members and it has taken no more than fifteen minutes. Believe me, you come back a year later on the same or another HAL ship and one of these gracious people will remember you.

You don't always have to say, "R U A Turtle?"

Stephen

[kelleherdl]

Isn't it really totally personal on how we interact with others, whether they are serving us, just people passing on the street, or our friends and neighbors. This has somewhat deterioriated into folks seeming they need validation on their own personal style. EXCEPT Y's (truly heartwarming and so how most of us always want to be) I must confess when my wife and I travel we have an advantage. I am a complete turtle, but when my head does come out I am very anxious to have fun and enjoy lively banter. My wife on the other hand does not think there is a person in the world that does not deserve at least 30 minutes of her time (whether they agree or not). I am certain by the end of our next cruise I will have been told about and unfortunately forgotten all names, all families, all hometowns of all the staff we interact with. My wife however will continue to remind me for six months of all details. Does that make me a bad person or her the ultimate sensitive guest? No, just the way we are made up. Not an apology or justification.

Dennis

[Topsham]

I am a complete turtle, .

Dennis


Dennis,

Not the kind of turtle I was talking about.:o

RUA Turtle? Are You A Turtle? International Accociation of Turtles. I thought there would be more than a few members here. I am an 'Imperial Turtle' and started off in the Sagafjord Dvision.

Stephen

[kelleherdl]

Topsham

:D No, I am not a TURTLE, just a turtle.... Yahoo and Google are fast..... Actually, my time and charitable good works go thru the Knights of Columbus.....:)

Dennis

[m steve]

people get "riled up" over comments on CC. Again being honest, since I don't speak Spanish (except menu) I can't have an in depth conversation with the housekeepers at the hotels I stay at. Now if some good doer would gift me with lessons from Berlitz or a Rosetta Stone cd I could learn and then find out all about how they came to America, how many atre in their fasmily, their hopes and dreams of becoming a citizen and why they don't speak to one another in English. So I guess until then, I'll put $2 per night in an envelope and write "Gracias" on it.

[Mary Ellen]

You may "say please and thank you and tip them for their service" but the highlighted portion of your post says far more.LOL - I was thinking the hole he dug earlier apparently wasn't deep enough for his liking.

[m steve]

I am.:eek:
I also must appologize for my last posting. There were 2 spelling errors I failed to correct.

[jtl513]

I am.:eek:
I also must appologize for my last posting. There were 2 spelling errors I failed to correct.well, at least you're consistently wrong! :rolleyes:

[m steve]

having fun at my expense.

[middle-aged mom]

having fun at my expense.

You make it so easy:)

[sealady1]

If there is one thing that I have learned in this life, it is that there are people who have placed themselves so high above others, they are hopelessly unreachable. Must be awfully lonely up there and all those stiff necks from holding their noses up. :eek:

[jtl513]

If there is one thing that I have learned in this life, it is that there are people who have placed themselves so high above others, they are hopelessly unreachable. Must be awfully lonely up there and all those stiff necks from holding their noses up. :eek:No, it's quite lovely up here. C'mon up and join the party. :cool:

[sealady1]

No, it's quite lovely up here. C'mon up and join the party. :cool:
No thanks, I'll stay down here in Steerage.

[m steve]

nobody posting is putting on airs. Some like to become intimate with the crew, others don't. It's the same as deciding whether you want to be at a large table and hear about other peoples family, ailments and lives or be by ourselves and enjoy dinner and our wine selection and occasionally speak to the wine or table steward. We've had a few we would have loved to take home but, alas, they had a contract.

[BlueCat1105]

The confines of a ship, with upwards of 2,000 passengers, seems to be an odd place to choose to vacation if you want to be alone with your family with no outside contact or distractions.

[sealady1]

nobody posting is putting on airs. Some like to become intimate with the crew, others don't. It's the same as deciding whether you want to be at a large table and hear about other peoples family, ailments and lives or be by ourselves and enjoy dinner and our wine selection and occasionally speak to the wine or table steward. We've had a few we would have loved to take home but, alas, they had a contract.
Didn't you think that your comment about hotel housekeepers was just a tiny bit "putting on airs"? Don't even bother to answer. Why do I read these particular threads? There always seems to be a post that I can't keep quiet about. I am done with this conversation.
Have a good day everyone.

[m steve]

I just don't speak Spanish, Russian, Ukranian or most of the languages I have found that the hotel maids speak when I ask them a question. I sure don't feel superior by not being able to speak their language. Many people who have to leave their country are able to speak several languages and I have great respect for that ability. I was a lousy student in Spanish class. Couldn't trill my RRRRRs.

[PathfinderEss]

some people think you are required to become friends with the stewards, show the family pictures and inquire about their lives. You don't do it in a restaurant although I am sure they would like to recite their credits and give you a resume or in a hotel with the house keeper (providing you spoke Spanish) but for some reason I seem to be wrong in letting them do their job with minimal interaction. I am extremely polite to them, always say please and thank you and tip them for their service. Why should I be required to do more?
And doesn't HAL have a training program to teach them how to serve you with a smile?
Well, here is one person that also chats with waiters/waitress and bar tenders at land based restaurant. Again learning their names, where their from, how long they have worked there, etc. So it is just not a cruise ship thing for me, its a being friendly thing. If you choose to be more aloft that is fine, I choose to be more friendly. As Copper said, to each his own, nothing wrong with either, whatever you feel comfortable with, as long as you are not rude. Being in a service base job dealing with the public is not always grand, so being respectful is always a better choice, then being a jerk.

[photomikey]

As for the OP, I'm one of those people who doesn't like much contact with the hired help. Which is not to say I don't speak to them, but for the waiters, it's more of an "I'll have the beef" than a "so tell me, where did you grow up?". I am usually a 7-day cruiser, but it's surprising how much more we were able to get to know the staff on a 10-day. It's more like bumping into the same people over and over and getting to know them because of it, and less like playing "speed date" on day 1 of the cruise to force getting to know them.

I will say that I never try and get to know the room stewards, and they are never very chatty with me. I have been on 7-day cruises where I have literally never seen the room steward - I just come in to clean towels and made beds twice per day. (I take a lot of naps!) To the contrary, I read all the time (in threads like this) where people talk about how much they get to know and be friendly with the stewards, and the stewards are always chatty with them. To this, I give both HAL and the stewards a lot of credit - to either be ninja-like or talkative, neither would be difficult. But to be both to different people, and keep it up 7 days per week, never being chatty with the quiet folks and never being invisible with the chatty folks.. THAT would be a challenge, and apparently they're quite good at it.

The confines of a ship, with upwards of 2,000 passengers, seems to be an odd place to choose to vacation if you want to be alone with your family with no outside contact or distractions.

I don't think they were trying to imply that they wanted to vacation with monks in Mongolia, I think they were trying to explain that they like to spend time with their family while on vacation. And if they had 10 minutes to talk to their son, or 10 minutes to talk to their waiter - they'd talk to their son.

[BlueCat1105]

Of course I prefer my family to strangers. Don't you? And no one said anything about vacationing in Mongolia either, but the OP did say they were being selfish and didn't want a lot of contact with the staff (and I'm not particularly chatty with them either, but I'm just not a big talker), so I think they might be happier on a vacation that is NOT known for all the attention to detail that a cruise on Holland prides itself in offering.

BC

[magandab]

I have no problem with passengers choosing not to engage the crew during the cruise; of course, that is not required of anyone. Do I think you are missing out on one of the joys of the experience? Yes, but that's my POV and your mileage may vary.

However, there seems to be a misconception here that the HAL staff members are just waiting to spill all the details about their personal lives if we ask. I don't know of anyone (but I don't know everyone :p) who sits down on day 1 and grills their waiter or room steward about their life. The staff members I've met have been quite polite about it, allowing the passenger to set the tone. For instance, on my last cruise it wasn't until I asked our waiter how he pronounced his name, then offered mine, and there was a little discussion of names, that he warmed up and greeting me by name and with a huge smile thereafter.

I'm sure some of the staff would prefer to just go about their jobs with no conversation, just as there are passengers who feel that way. It's fairly obvious who they are by the way they answer any question. It would be very interesting to read or hear how they would answer this same question.