what is the worst thing your tablemate said?

[shecruise]

I was lurking and read this thread over on the Carnival boards and thought it would be cool to start one here as well!

Having just completed our sixth cruise, we have generally had very positive table mates at dinner.

I am wondering what kinds of horrible questions people have been asked well cruising a Holland America Ship.

[RuthC]

Can't think of an offhanded thing offhand. And that's in 251 days of cruising on HAL, plus other lines.

I would make for an interesting table, though, wouldn't it. ;)

[jhannah]

You mean like, "Gee ... you sure don't sweat much for a fat guy!" (Just kidding. No one's ever said that!)

We've been very fortunate to have had wonderful tablemates. No one has ever said anything offensive or improper that I can remember.

[Hflors]

This didn't happen on the ship, but while waiting for our transfers to pick us all up another passenger told me I had packed too much for the 11 day cruise. I had one suitcase and split one hang up bag with hubby. I told him that I liked "clean" clothes. Then just sort of turned as if to say it was none of his business. (Which it wasn't) He and his rude wife kept popping up all during our cruise and we kept walking away!

[dakrewser]

THere was the lady we overheard coming out of the dining room one night last week (she was coming out, we were going in). Desserts that night included crepes Suzette and creme brulee so she was telling someone she knew who was going in: "the pancakes aren't very good, but the pudding was OK...."


:) -dave

[Peggy Sue]

On Disney .. Man asking wife "where's the hamburgers on this here menu" .. as he leaned into her, folded his arms across his chest and let his fingers close to her reach out and "touch" ... this was followed by wife asking for a roll and husband proceed to touch everyone in the basket until she acknowledged which one she wanted ......

[localady]

THere was the lady we overheard coming out of the dining room one night last week (she was coming out, we were going in). Desserts that night included crepes Suzette and creme brulee so she was telling someone she knew who was going in: "the pancakes aren't very good, but the pudding was OK...."


:) -dave

Dave-
Those fish eggs and sauteed snails ain't bad either!

All of our dining companions on HAL have been wonderful, but one morning, during a random seating breakfast the maitre'd took us to a table for 6 at the back window that was occupied by a man and woman. As soon as we walk up she jumps up and starts screaming at the maitre'd about how she wanted to sit with NO ONE ELSE!:eek: My husband and I stopped mid step in horror, and the Maitre'd apologized profusely and put us at another table. I guess that woman was NOT a morning person, you think?;)

[Linda&Vern]

THere was the lady we overheard coming out of the dining room one night last week (she was coming out, we were going in). Desserts that night included crepes Suzette and creme brulee so she was telling someone she knew who was going in: "the pancakes aren't very good, but the pudding was OK...." :) -dave
Thank you for that one! DH and I are still laughing - I think it will become our new "inside joke!" Our story didn't happen in the dining room, but on our December Maasdam cruise we were taking a bus tour on one of the islands. A mother with 2 young (pre-teen) children started talking about how awful it was that our ship only had "foreign" employees working on it. It's just not right, she said, what with all the unemployment in the U.S. In the future she will only cruise on U.S. ships with American employees.

[mjmagee]

Oh my gosh! These replies are great. Keep them coming. I honestly cannot think of anything awful we have heard on a cruise but I have enjoyed all of these so far! Marilyn

[grannynurse]

The ship had been in continuous fog for days on end (actually weeks) and at dinner one night, a man at a nearby table complained to his tablemate about the Captain's stupidity and lack of concern for the passengers because he let the crew blow the "damn" whistle night and day.

Oh m'gosh, talk about dumb!!
GN

[bwelborn]

On our cruise last March on the Maasdam, my hubby and I ate lunch in the Dining Room one of the first days of the cruise and sat at a table for two. Nearby were a couple of retirement age dining alone also. The woman proceeded to talk loudly the entire meal about how she detested a certain retail chain and to make matters worse she gave one million incorrect facts about the company. She gave all of this info to her hubby and anyone in earshot. It happens that my husband is a mid level executive with the company and he was livid with anger; not that she disliked the company, but that she was over and over again reciting things that were absolutely false. Well I kept making eye contact with her, so she obviously knew I heard what she was saying. The next day, we went back to the dining room for lunch and sat at a table for eight and were seated right beside the lovely couple. My husband almost laughed out loud (he was over the anger by then). As we talked with out table mates the topic came around of what did we do for a living since we were the only non retirees at the table. I smiled grandly and looked directly at the woman and replied that I did not work but my husband was an executive for said company. She looked as if she had been kicked in the teeth. Even better the table began to discuss this company and she was forced to sit there and smile politely. I have decided that if you have strong opinions on something don't announce them to the world as it make come back to haunt you.

[blackbird71]

Not a bad thing but a funny thing. I would have been in my late 30s at the time and was traveling with my mother and sister. We had two other couples at the table with us. It was on the Dolphin IV and a two dayer in Nassau(sp).

At lunch and dinner we all talked about our days ashore. And I was the last person that was hit upon for drugs in the straw market area. EVEN my mother was hit upon before me . :confused:

Because of the three of us, we normally got a table for four with an empty seat. But of the table mates I have had, I can not think of anything bad.

[PCruzer]

For the most part, our dining tablemates have been wonderful. In fact, we still keep in touch with some of them. I do have a couple to share, though:

1. Upon being seated at dinner the first night onboard and after introductions, one of our tablemates asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was a secretary. He replied, "Oh. So, in other words, you don't do anything."

2. Different trip...Upon being seated for dinner the first night onboard and after introductions, one of our tablemates started telling us how he starts a letter-writing "campaign" a few months before the cruise in order to get invited to the Captain's table. He then started passing around his gold rings so everyone could look at them. He then asked us how many children we have. When we told him we didn't have children, he wanted to know "Why not?"

[jcrandle]

2. Different trip...Upon being seated for dinner the first night onboard and after introductions, one of our tablemates started telling us how he starts a letter-writing "campaign" a few months before the cruise in order to get invited to the Captain's table. He then started passing around his gold rings so everyone could look at them. He then asked us how many children we have. When we told him we didn't have children, he wanted to know "Why not?"

Before we had children, my wife often got tired of being asked this very personal question. There was a joke going around at the time about a couple who couldn't have children because the husband was right handed, and the wife was left handed. The punch line was "all the time he is s****ing, I'm uns****ing. So her favorite response to this question was to respond that we couldn't have children because she was left handed, and I was right handed.

Turned out that she never got a chance to follow up with the punch line, as every time she gave that response, the questioner looked embarassed and shut up!

[Vicar]

I also saw this thread on Carnival. This was a funny one.

As i wrote there,

These were not tablemates but a couple my fiance and I met in a lounge one evening. We had struck up a conversation with them and found out we were going on the same excursion the next day in Montego Bay. They seemed very nice and we decided to meet them in the dining room the next morning for breakfast and then pal around with them in Montego Bay for the day. Like I said nice couple and had a great time with them all night in the lounge.

The next morning at breakfast, We are talking and the subject of kids come up, They take out the pics of their kids we take out ours. I show them a pic of my then 15 year old daughter. The wife looks at it and says "Oh what a beautiful girl." The husband looks at the pic and says "Beautiful, Shes F***ing HOT!!!!" Needless to say this didn't sit too well with THIS Italian father *LOL*

The wife seemed to be really nice and even she was embarressd by her stupid husbands remark. Her and my Fiance hit it off really well and they hung around quite a bit throughout the cruise, but i kept a wide distance from the husband.

[tiffnco]

Mine's more sad than anything.

DH and I had a rough year in our marriage...we went through counselling and were able to reconcile. We decided to go on a cruise to celebrate and also renew our vows.

Well, something happened with our reservation and we were linked with another cabin (even though we weren't travelling together). The first night, we sat at our table for 6 and only one other person showed up. The table was in a bad position and vibrated terribly. So, we asked to be moved. The Maitre'd obliged and moved DH and myself...along with the other linked reservation...a nice man who had just lost his wife a month prior to the cruise. They placed us at a table for 4. Since he was travelling solo, we felt obligated to go to dine with him every night so he wouldn't sit there alone. But boy, it was tough to talk about much of anything as we were so happy to be together and he was still in mourning.

Since that time, we've always requested a large table...

[jhannah]

Vicar ... I can't imagine what I would have done had someone made such a comment to me regarding one of my daughters! That's the height of ignorance and boorishness!

[Vicar]

Jhannah,

Fiance said she thought that that was his ill mannered way of agreeing that she was beautiful. But come on, a 30 something year old guy doesn't refer to a 15 year old girl that way , especially in front of her father.


Some people JEEEEEZ!!!!!!!! *LOL*

[beachprincess]

On one of our first cruises, we were in line at one of the breakfast buffets and there was an older woman in front of me. I went to reach for a few pieces of this lovely looking fresh pineapple, and the woman turned abruptly and grabbed my hand saying "don't eat the pineapple hunny, it made me gassy!"

I was too busy trying to hold in my laughter to considder getting a piece or not, but that has become an "inside joke" with my family ever since.

[weluvcruisin']

We almost always have very nice table mates, but, on one of our first cruises in the early 90's, we were at a table for 4. The other couple seemed very nice, and we chatted about a number of different subjects, then one dinner I said something about a TV program. The lady was so surprised the we had TV and that we actually saw the same programs she did.(we are from Western Canada)..think she thought we all live in igloos and log houses, at the time I just sat there with my mouth open, couldn't believe she was serious, but she was...now I think it's quite funny.

[tbroido]

Still, I suppose I'd narrowly prefer it to someone looking at a photo of my 19 y.o. daughter and going "Woof, Woof." Nobody ever has but guys do that sort of thing to indicate that they think a female is ugly and it is very unkind.

Funny thing about daughters. I have a 22 y.o. son and when he was about 1 y.o. a friend who had just become the father of a daughter said, "Hey maybe our kids will get married when they grow up." I chuckled and thought that would be, perhaps, a nice thing.

A few years later when my daughter was an infant, a friend with a 3 or 4 y.o. son made a similar comment. I chuckled but it really got my back up a little. I must tell you I pride myself on not being sexist, but those old ingrained reactions are hard to ignore.

[Vicar]

tbroido,


I know what you mean.

Trust me, I will never be accused of being a prude, but when it comes to my daughter, I am some old father from the 1950s *LOL*

[ekerr19]

We have always been fortunate enough to have great tablemates at dinner on all our cruises. One of the few times we ate breakfast in the dining room was on the Veendam. We were seated with a retired couple from New York. The man was very loud and abrasive to everyone within ear shot.

DH & I were both so embarrassed to be seated with them - with all his repeated yelling at the dining steward, the final straw was this, "Boy - OH BOY, Don't you hear me?... I SAID I WANTED my pancake syrup HOT, you idiot!" Then muttering under his breath, "GD foreign imbeciles, can't do anything right..."

DH and got up excused ourselves to the steward and walked out. We rarely eat breakfast in the dining room anymore - we'd rather have each other for company than people like this jerk.

[madaroch]

A couple of years ago on the old Westerdam an old fellow from the U.S. was a huge gun totting advocate, totally against gun registry. You Canadians and your gun registry....blah, blah, blah. Us Americans we know what's right. We like the motto of the right to bear arms. My husband was so ticked with the guy he said yeah well in Canada buddy our motto is "We have the right to arm our bears, so watch your ass the next time you cross the border".

[missygirl]

Several years ago my husband and I were seated at a table for 10. Naturally everyone tries to empress with at least a little table manners. One older couple is seated the first night and from then and every other night he says "mamma hand me a soft biscuit" which mamma does. He then spears the "soft biscuit" with his used fork,into every bread basket. You ask why, poor man had no front teeth, don't get me wrong I am not making fun of him just in that situation don't use a dirty fork around other peoples food. Needless to say no one ate very much bread at our table that trip.

[jcrandle]

On one of our first cruises, we were in line at one of the breakfast buffets and there was an older woman in front of me. I went to reach for a few pieces of this lovely looking fresh pineapple, and the woman turned abruptly and grabbed my hand saying "don't eat the pineapple hunny, it made me gassy!"

I was too busy trying to hold in my laughter to considder getting a piece or not, but that has become an "inside joke" with my family ever since.
Some of the best responses take time to develop, but I believe you should have nodding knowingly and said, "I know, I know."

[Sea Island Lady]

"don't eat the pineapple hunny, it made me gassy!"
Or could she have said "don't eat the pineapple hunny, it may be nasty!" :D

[tbroido]

Maybe she said "it made me sassy."

[Sea Island Lady]

Hey, this could turn into a fun game! What in the heck did the woman say? :)

Also a very good thread. Different stories here than on other boards.

I wrote this elsewhere, but we once had a very uncouth man (not a gentleman) from England at our breakfast table. He started in about how beautiful our daughter was and would not let it rest. It got embarrassing for everyone, especially my other equally beautiful daughter who this crude man completely ignored. We could not wait to leave the table and did so hastily. :mad:

[Stevesan]

This was more an example of rude behavior, disrespectful of all the other passengers on the ship.
On disembarkation day, after clearing immigration onboard, we went to the Lido for breakfast. The time for clearing the ship had long past and there were repeated announcements for those who had not yet cleared to report to immigration.
The couple at the adjacent table were approached by their friends who inquired if they had cleared immigration yet. The couple replied that they had not and planned to finish breakfast first!!!

[DAllenTCY]

On one of our first cruises, an older red-neck fellow at our table wondered aloud if our waiter (who was of african descent) were to put his finger in his glass of milk, would it become chocolate milk? Yes we did change tables!
David

[MaryTiller]

This happened to us on a cruise to Bermuda. This was a family reunion cruise. My parents, sisters and husbands and us. Also on the cruise were some of our family friends. Well my sister Jill had two of her friends sailing with us and to be kind, the wife wasn't the brightest bulb in the lamp. We had just finished playing in the casino and my Dad and I decided to have a cup of coffee and a sweetie at the mid-night buffet. We encountered Jills's friend looking a the ship's deck plan, asked her if she was lost. She responded that she was looking for the buffet. My Dad asked her to Join US!!!. Her reply was, I don't have any money. So Dad, being the gentleman offered to PAY. She was so thankfull that he would be willing to treat her....... She was serious, he was kidding and all we could do was laugh. To this day it makes me smile.

[rothbury]

The best I can contribute is being paired at a table with foreign couples that didn't speak english. We've had that happen a couple of times!

[AliceN]

Makes you wonder doesn't it???

We were at a table for 4 and the "ditzy" gal started in on how much they enjoyed meeting us and hoped we meet up again sometime. Well, I told her that we would probably see them the next night, if they were coming to the dining room. She said, "OH, No, don't we get back to port tomorrow? Our luggage is already out in the hallway." Needless to say, they did not know when we were docking and were quite embarresed about the whole thing. My husband and I have laughed about that many times since.

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[whm]

Last fall we were on a cruise with folks that we had considered friends for some years. About halfway through the cruise he decided that he would be cute and use the "n" word at the table! Not cute! He embarrassed us all and we have not spoken to them since that evening.

[tomc]

He decided that he would be cute and use the "n" word at the table! On formal night, did he wear his best hood?

[bridgetann]

Hello!
While out at dinner with my four children, a man dining alone next to us started to chat. He asked what I did for a living and I told him I was a realtor. He then started to ask the children what they wanted to be when they grew up. My oldest son - 11 at the time - said that he wanted to be a realtor too.

The man went on to tell him ALL the reasons why he shouldn't be a realtor - including that he seemed to be "too smart of a young man" to be a realtor!!!

Isn't that nice?

(off ship)

[Melissa at Mohair Meadows]

We have been very fortunate in our tablemates. We enjoy being at a large table with a lot of diversity. In a short time, friendships are made. Eating breakfast in the dining room can be a crapshoot. Sometimes you sit with people who shut you out and sometimes it can be very rewarding.

On the Elation out of Galveston we sat with 4 Texans, 2 Californians and us. I'm not going what the differences of opinion were, but needless to say it was a lively conversation. LOL


:p

[jcrandle]

On the Elation out of Galveston we sat with 4 Texans, 2 Californians and us. I'm not going what the differences of opinion were, but needless to say it was a lively conversation. LOL
:pWell, you know what they say, "You can always tell a Texan........ But you can't tell him/her much!" :D ONLY KIDDING, FOLKS.

Uh Oh, Shields UP ... Incoming ... Prepare to repel boarders .... Dive, Dive, Dive.

[Randyk47]

OK....I'll ignore the Texan remark.....this time......since we've only lived in San Antonio for 2 years. :)

The worst thing that ever happened to us regarding tablemates was on the Ryndam several years ago. We kind of like larger tables and got placed at a table for 8 which was fine. We are still good friends with several couples we've met this way. Anyhow, we wound up with 3 couples in S category cabins and 1 couple from an inside. Shouldn't have been a problem but it was to the wife of the couple from the inside cabin. They lasted 3 nights at our table until the woman announced they'd no longer be dining with us......we weren't the right class of folks for them. To this day I haven't the faintest idea what happened or might have been said in our conversations at the table that would have put her out so much.

[Allis154]

A couple of years ago on the old Westerdam an old fellow from the U.S. was a huge gun totting advocate, totally against gun registry. You Canadians and your gun registry....blah, blah, blah. Us Americans we know what's right. We like the motto of the right to bear arms. My husband was so ticked with the guy he said yeah well in Canada buddy our motto is "We have the right to arm our bears, so watch your ass the next time you cross the border".

That is too funny!!!! I have to watch for our bears the next time I go for a hike!!

[shonuf]

Our worst experience with tablemates occurred not on HAL but on a "fun" cruise out of Galveston last fall. On a previous "fun" cruise we had been assigned a booth in the dining room. My husband did not find the seating comfortable and said prior to our cruise, "I don't want to be assigned to a booth again." You got it, table assignment was for a booth. We went immediately to the Maitre 'd and he explained that the ship was more than full and the only place he could move us to was what should be the captain's table (a round for 14). As we left he said, "If you don't like it, come back and I'll see what I can do." I blithely said, "Oh, it'll be fine, we can get along with anybody". Famous last words.

When we arrived in the dining room, there were three women seated at the table. I sat next to them with my husband on the other side of me. Three more women came in and sat by my husband, then three more women, then you guessed it, three more women. The women next to me were very rude and only spoke if asked a direct question. They were mad because they had been split from the rest of their travelling party. I finally gave up even trying to talk to them, they conversed only among themselves.

The woman seated next to my husband asked "What are you doing at OUR table? It's supposed to be for singles only."

Needless to say, it was a quiet dinner. Immediately upon finishing, we got up without a word and headed for the maitre 'd. He found us a table for 8 at a different seating, occupied by an extended family of 6 from the Dallas area, as we were. As we were getting acquainted and talking about why we were all on the cruise, I remarked that we were celebrating our retirement from hot-air ballooning after 25 years. One lady turned to me and said "Do you know Ann E----?" My mouth dropped open--(Ann E was the crew coordinator for our balloon for several years.) What a small world! We enjoyed their company for the rest of the cruise.

Susan in sunny Frisco TX

[BCEagle78]

This was on the Volendam cruise of Nov 26, 2004:

One of our tablemates had ordered a salad that had things like shrimp, green leafy vegetables and some other ingredients when in an alarmed voice, said that there was "glass" in the salad.

We all thought the worst. Had this poor woman swallowed glass? Was there a pending law suit coming? What would be the outcome of this highly emotional situation?

Well....

The waiter came over, looked in the salad and in a very calm voice said... "That's sea salt."

Well, we had all we could do to keep ourselves from laughing and embarassing this poor woman who a moment later thought that her insides were being carved open by shards of glass....

We still talk about this regularly and always smile...

[arzz]

I have to admit that I read this thread with a certain amount of caution and fear that I would find something I said to someone on a previous cruise quoted here.....

My quote does not come from the dinner table but from an elderly woman on the Zaandam a couple of years ago -- we had high to rough seas most of the cruise and were having stabalizer issues to boot -- as my DH and I walked by we heard this woman declare:

"I am never taking this cruise line again...it is too bumpy!"

[blackbird71]

22 yo male show singer/dancer "I studied for opera before I got this job" ... The beginning of the longest cruise dinner in history of cruising.

First let me say I would rather listen to somebody racking their nails over a chalk board than listen to opera.. but that is just me. :D

I just got of RSSC Mariner and they have open seating and I would go down between 7:15-7:30 for dinner. My first night I sat with the above male and a female from the show group at a table for six. Had a good time. The second night there was an opera lecturer and a pretty female lecturer from the Jean-Michel Cousteaus Ocreans Futures Society. So of the two lecturers which one did I get to sit with not 1 not 2 but three nights, you got the opera lady.

So on the third time as I was being taken to my table, I saw the opera lady but also the two singers/dancers, and silly me thought OK one more night with opera lady but I will enjoy the talk of the singers/dancers.... WRONG.... One of the first things said by the male was the above quote,,, and for the rest of the verrrrrrrry longgggggggg dinner all they talked about was the O words. :eek:

[DisneyDestroyer]

Way to resurrect a dead thread, I know, but I just had to jump in.

We were on one of our Carnival Cruises, standing in a looooooooooong line for the midnight buffet. This woman and her two children just cut in the middle of the line. Her son (about 14) said "Mom, the line starts way back there" and she said "Don't worry about it" and he said "But that's not ethical" and she said "That's OK, we're on vacation" !!!!!!!!!!

Karma took over in the end, they got into the "viewing" line not the "eating" line, so they cut into the wrong line! Hah!

[user8]

Once on the Zaandam while sitting in the main lounge waiting for the evening show to start, someone in front of us introduced a man who was probably in his early 80s to a lady a few years younger. She told him it was nice meeting him and he asked her if she was rich. I don't recall what she said but you can imagine the look on her face. :eek: I thought DW was going to crawl under her chair.

[Krazy Kruizers]

We have had quite a few bad table mates.

Probably the worst was a Canadian couple. The first night at dinner before they even knew what type of cabin category we were in, they started off the conversation by saying how lucky we Americans were that we get so much more for the dollar. Within a couple of minutes they bragged about how a week before the cruise they were upgraded several categories - from the lowest inside to a B category - a verandah cabin!

Each night they always had something to complain about and it usually always involved Americans. The last night of the cruise we couldn't take any more of their complaints about Americans. That was when we informed them that we were in a suite - no upgrade - we paid for the cabin. Then we got up and left the table. We tipped everyone and explained that we weren't going to have the last night of our cruise ruined by that couple. We ate at the Marco Polo that evening in those days - now the Pinnacle Grill.

Yes, yes - we know we should have asked for another table after that first evening. But we didn't - thought things might get better during the rest of our 10 day cruise.

Just another reason why we now ask for a table for 2.

[soraya]

The worst that ever happened to us was during a lunch where we were at a table of 8, none of us knew wach other and we were just chatting when a couple joined us and for some reason the woman started to talk in some detail about a sexual assault in her home town. None of us were from there and we had been talking about snokelling. Others tried to change the subject, but she went right back to it. It was getting pretty horrible and my husband went and quietly asked the Maitre d to move us which he did. The maitre d made the excuse that I wasn't feeling well and a table by the window might help which we thought was amazing. We met up with other folks from that table later who said they wished they'd moved too as she kept to that topic for the whole of the meal.

The other one which we found funny was when an American man (we're from the UK) thanked us for Britains' support in Iraq and insisted on shaking our hands. His family were mortified, but we managed to keep straight faces until we left the table. We still laugh about the looks of horror on his family's faces.

Soraya

[Sayyadina]

That is too funny!!!! I have to watch for our bears the next time I go for a hike!!

About those Canadian armed bears...there is a t-shirt I've seen for sale at Northern Sun that has a picture of a heavily armed bear standing around some banged up trash cans. The text read: Support Your Right to Arm Bears. northernsun.com. Great shirt. Thought you'd want to know. :D

JodyM

[blackbird71]

About those Canadian armed bears...there is a t-shirt I've seen for sale at Northern Sun that has a picture of a heavily armed bear standing around some banged up trash cans. The text read: Support Your Right to Arm Bears. northernsun.com. Great shirt. Thought you'd want to know. :D

JodyM

You mean

http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/1038ArmBears.jpg

:D:D:D

[ImpulsivePuppy]

The other one which we found funny was when an American man (we're from the UK) thanked us for Britains' support in Iraq and insisted on shaking our hands. His family were mortified, Soraya
sorry about that, dad forgot to take his meds that morning.

[PRINSENDAM]

The ship had been in continuous fog for days on end (actually weeks) and at dinner one night, a man at a nearby table complained to his tablemate about the Captain's stupidity and lack of concern for the passengers because he let the crew blow the "damn" whistle night and day.

Oh m'gosh, talk about dumb!!
GN



During a North Atlantic crossing a few years ago we had thick fog for four straight days.. with the horn blowing once every two minutes... as per Collision Avoidance Regulations.

Anyhow, someone asked the Second Officer if the noise affacted them up on the bridge very much. The Second Officer replied in a very deep voice, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"!

Stephen

[Sayyadina]

During a North Atlantic crossing a few years ago we had thick fog for four straight days.. with the horn blowing once every two minutes... as per Collision Avoidance Regulations.

Anyhow, someone asked the Second Officer if the noise affacted them up on the bridge very much. The Second Officer replied in a very deep voice, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"!

Stephen

OMG, that's wonderful! What a sense of humor...:p

[Tricia724]

Many years ago when a friend and I sailed the Norway, we were seated at a table for 6 with the worst tablemates I've ever had. One couple was 30ish and obviously had a great opinion of themselves and were upset because they didn't get the dinner table they had desired. (Obviously, we weren't what they had in mind.) They were complaining when we arrived, and it didn't let up.

When they finally began to eat, my friend...in an effort to get a little pleasant conversation started...introduced us and stated that we lived in Pennsylvania "near Pittsburgh." The young couple said they lived in Denver. So I said something like: "I've never been to Denver but it sounds like such a beautiful place to live with the mountains and the fresh air." At which time the wife looked at me with a condescending smile like I was the village idiot and said: "Oh....and can you even SEE the air in Pittsburgh?"

Fortunately, our paths separated after that meal.

[iambumbo]

TIE:

"Oh, that's the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet when you buy one of those you get a free bowl of soup... Oh, looks good on you though!"

"Hey, good kid, nice kid, Ok, now I know why tigers eat their young!" :)

[lougee1043]

we were on a cruise where our tablemates came to the table carrying a stuffed bear which she put on the table and started talking to it-- told us the bears name and its sex-told us about the misehaving bear that she left in the cabin and then proceeded to feed the bear with a spoon taking items off her plate---needless to say we changed tables that evening

[Bodger]

We were on the Statendam about ten years ago. We had asked for a non-smoking table in the early seating, but had been assigned the late seating. We went and saw the maitre'd the first afternoon and asked to be changed. He could only offer a table for four in smoking, but it was on the edge of the smoking area. We ended up with a couple who were late 60's-early seventies (we were early forties at the time). We enjoyed them and decided to stay there for the rest of the cruise.

It turns out they had met each other on a cruise a few months earlier. One day she was telling us she had called home to speak to her 93 year old mother. In passing it slipped out that her mother didn't know she was away with this guy! We still laugh at the thought of these two seniors 'shacking up' like a couple of twenty year olds.

Bodger

[dollyo]

On a recent Celebrity cruise that had a higher number of european cruisers we had a british tablemate that stated at dinner one night, that the Chef should through some of these Germans in the ovens so that there would be more room for the rest of us. We were appaulled. However the next night he shocked us even further by showing on his digital camera, a shot of a young female crew member that he had taken without permission of her topless on her day off at a beach. He then called several wait staff over and showed them the picture as well. We Asked to switch tables the next night.

[ImpulsivePuppy]

TIE:

"Oh, that's the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet when you buy one of those you get a free bowl of soup... Oh, looks good on you though!"

"Hey, good kid, nice kid, Ok, now I know why tigers eat their young!" :)
where you sailing with don rickles? :cool:

[AirGorilla]

TIE:

"Oh, that's the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet when you buy one of those you get a free bowl of soup... Oh, looks good on you though!"

"Hey, good kid, nice kid, Ok, now I know why tigers eat their young!" :)


Love that CaddyShack movie!! I have to watch it at least twice per year!!

[cactuslady]

From the man who sat next to me at dinner for two weeks: "I hate Germans." (I'm German.)

[wldflr]

The last cruise we took in February we thought we were going to be seated with some friends of ours. It turns out that we were seated at the table next to them with 2 older couples (who knew each other). It was like the dinner scene from "meet the parents"...it was that awkward and we usually have a good time with most people we meet. And they knew each other so you would think they would chat with each other and we would join in. Nope. It was like having dinner with the living dead. Meanwhile our friends at the next table were having a great time with their tablemates. I refused to spend another dinner at that table.

The good news...we moved to another table to be with some other people we had met (thet had 4 empty seats at their large round table) and we had a blast the rest of the cruise. I looked forward to dinner and I swear I never laughed so much in one week, my ribs were sore.

So if you're not happy, move! By the way, we're cruising again next january with our friends and I hope this time we get seated with them!

[stormyc]

From the man who sat next to me at dinner for two weeks: "I hate Germans." (I'm German.)

Oh, goodness.

(How are you enjoying this heat, CactusLady? Like living in a Pillsbury Bake Oven. ...Luckily I like it. :) Lots of wildfires up this way, though.)

[WindyCity]

wldflr,

Just have your TA or HAL link yours and your friend's booking numbers!!

[MSC]

On a recent Celebrity cruise that had a higher number of european cruisers we had a british tablemate that stated at dinner one night, that the Chef should through some of these Germans in the ovens so that there would be more room for the rest of us. We were appaulled. However the next night he shocked us even further by showing on his digital camera, a shot of a young female crew member that he had taken without permission of her topless on her day off at a beach. He then called several wait staff over and showed them the picture as well. We Asked to switch tables the next night.

This is absolutely awful. I think I might have been unable to control my mouth.:eek:

[Himself]

It was during the hieght of the clergy-sex abuse scandal several years ago and a table mate asked me how many boys I had sodomized. When I told him I had not he indicated I was the ONLY one who hadn't. It was a tense moment. He would not believe 97 percent of us did not engage in such behavior.

Himself

[SantaAna,CA]

The first cruise I ever took was on a smallish ship, we cruised to Athens, Corinth, Ephesus and Philippi. There was a woman who was a prison warden of all things. This wasn't said at the dinner table, but we were sitting on the teak bench that surrounded the (very small) pool, talking, and some kids were playing in the pool. She kept getting angry that the kids were splashing her. I said, "why don't you move to a chair"? She looked at me with a look that would melt iron and said "one more word and you go in with them". :eek:

Seems to be if you don't like being splashed, sitting two inches from a pool with playing children isn't the place to sit. Needless to say, I didn't spend any time around her again!

P.S. One reason to stay on the straight and narrow; wouldn't want to end up in the prison SHE runs!!!

Jane

[Landlubber54]

...a table mate asked me how many boys I had sodomized.

Himself

Even in jest, that's as tasteless a remark as I can imagine -- along with a suggestion to "through (sic) some...Germans in the ovens...".

Talk about disengaged brains.:rolleyes:

[ImpulsivePuppy]

It was during the hieght of the clergy-sex abuse scandal several years ago and a table mate asked me how many boys I had sodomized. When I told him I had not he indicated I was the ONLY one who hadn't. It was a tense moment. He would not believe 97 percent of us did not engage in such behavior.

Himself


That is aweful. I would have been uncomfortable even being on the same ocean as that guy. What an angering, insensitive, and unpscrupulous remark to make.

[DisneyDestroyer]

On another cruise, we were seated with a family from France. On the first night, the son (a year or two younger than me) turns to us and says "Whenever I look at Americans, I always feel superior because of our better math education system. I learned Calculus before I was ready to attend College, most of you Americans don't even know Algebra."

OK, thanks for sharing.

[Landlubber54]

On another cruise, we were seated with a family from France. On the first night, the son (a year or two younger than me) turns to us and says "Whenever I look at Americans, I always feel superior because of our better math education system..."

Well that's consistent with the English not liking the Germans and Americans not trusting the clergy. Obviously class -- and more commonly lack thereof -- knows no bounds.

[Hawaiian Eye]

"Not only am I a Jehovah's Witness, but I also sell Life Insurance !" :cool:

[Hawaiian Eye]

" Say, does this look infectious ? " :cool:

[Brandis]

A couple of years ago on a baltic cruise on a smaller ship chartered by a british company. I travelled with my friend and a couple from England. We all are around 30, the majority on that cruise was 70 plus. Though not a problem for us, we met very nice people on that cruise.

First night, when we came to the dining room, we were seated at our assigned table, which was a table for 6 and right next to the window. So we sat down on the 4 chairs closest to the window, so if someone else was coming, they wouldn't need to squeeze in. A few minutes later, our tablemates showed up. The women only said hello and looked very ticked off during the entire meal. The husband was quite nice though and tried to do some conversation with us, but stopped soon as well (I think his wife kicked his leg...) So we just talked with our friends. Next evening, we were again the first at the table. We figured that the lady maybe was angry, because she didn't get to sit next to the window, so we left those chairs empty. When the couple arrived this time, she looked even more sour... At the end of that meal, before she left, she hissed: "Tomorrow, we want to sit in OUR chairs again..." OK, not a problem for us... For the rest of the cruise, we pretty much ignored them and had fun. On evening 11 of the 12 night cruise, there were 4 sets of silverware on the table and our waiter came by to explain that the other couple had asked for another table that afternoon... I wonder why they hadn't figured that out before... :-)

Marc

[wgeddings]

This was not a HAL cruise but for my 40th birthday, DW had arranged to surprise me by having my family join us on a Disney cruise. We were having a great time and all at the same table (about 18 of us). My birthday fell on formal night so we were all dressed up and they had told the waiter that it was my birthday. Out comes the wait staff with a cake and sang happy birthday to me.

Unbeknowest to me, the waiter had asked my cousin who is quite devilish what name I preferred to be called. He jokingly replied that most people just call me "A-Hole" (exactly that). The waiter may not have understood that much English, or else he had a devilish streak, but the whole room got silent when the wait staff sang "Happy Birthday Dear A-Hole" to me......:D

I thought my cousin was going to soil his pants he was laughing so hard and most of my other family was either stunned or crying with laughter. The waiter and the rest of the staff seemed quite proud of themselves for knowing my "nickname".:eek:

[ImpulsivePuppy]

so, did you find that funny?

[wgeddings]

Yeah, I try to be a good sport and it was awfully funny. Especially since my cousin never meant for them to call me A-Hole and they seemed to have no idea why it was so funny. And thankfully everyone does not now call me A-Hole. Kind of reminded me of that scene at the end of "A Christmas Story" when the waiters in the chinese resturant are trying to sing christmas carols and the head waiter is trying to get them to say "l"s instead of "r" (Fa-Rah-Rah-Rah, Rah-Rah-Rah)

[DFD1]

Great story. I wish I'd been there.

[mrsred]

On my first (and only cruise so far) about 10 years ago, I decided to go on a Carnival ship solo. I was in my mid-twenties, in the Army, and hadn't had leave for about 5 years...so I was really wanting some time to unwind, relax, and forget what it was like to wake up at 5am!

I was seated at a table of some wonderful women who met every year to cruise together and catch up. We became good friends, and I enjoyed spending time with people who were looking to just have some laughs.

Also at this table was a young couple on their honeymoon. He was a delightful guy, very easy going and full of laughs (reminds me of Drew Carey). His wife...well she was impossible. She complained how horrible it was to be on a "cut rate" cruise line (her father would have NEVER made her slum like this!), she said terrible things about how the other women around us were dressed...any way, you get the idea that she was just not very pleasant to be around.

On about the 3rd night the other ladies and myself were quite tired of her. She would even go so far as to make horrific comments to our server who was a doll! That night she said to me (quite loudly and directly), "I certainly hope you're not on this cruise to find a husband. You would do better on one of the REAL cruise lines where there aren't so many lower class types."

I simply smiled and replied, "Actually, I think I'm going to marry my steward. Any man who can clean like that and put up with rude, spoiled people is a gem in my book."

They were not at dinner the next night. We were told that she had made arrangements to fly home from the island that day.

Oh what fun she missed out on!

~e

[ncboys]

Three or four days into our cruise, our very conservative, right wing, dinner mates very innocently said "keep it straight" as we were leaving the table. My partner and I(we're gay btw) simply looked at each other, then at the right winders, and then at ourselves and busted out laughing. Only then did they realize what they had said. They ment no harm by it, and didnt even realize the "alternate meaning" to that phrase until we started laughing. AFter that, the following nights at dinner were pretty fun. I mean what else can you do but laugh in that situation?

It was kinda nice actually. All week they had been very homophobic, and not really made a point to talk to us. This comment just put all the cards on the table and allowed us all to laugh at ourselved. We got along just fina after that and we still email them to this very day.

[fann1sh]

This happened on a RCI ship, not HAL. First night out, late sitting = HAL's main, after 8 p.m. Tablemates breezed in late, with their child - I'd guess about 15 months old. They were both high-powered professionals, vocal about being from a major city (I won't mention which one;)) Ignored their restless child, who was clearly getting quite hungry.
Little girl crawled across the table, picked up my dinner roll, and began to gnaw on it.
Mom's response....well, you saw the headline. "Oh, just ignore her, she'll be fine..."
We were at a different table on night 2 of the cruise.

[George W. Bush]

While on a hoseback riding excursion in Cozumel an older English man asked my petite (5') girlfriend if they were going to give her a "little pony" instead of a horse.

When he said it she coincidently was standing next to a guy we didn't know who was about 5'2 and rail thin and I assume he thought that that guy was her boyfriend and that he didn't find him very intimidating. All the blood fell from his face when I stepped over to him (I'm 6' and in good physical condition) and asked him what exactly he meant by that.

[J&R Cruisers]

On a crossing last year the first night at sea one of our talemates first question was what was our religon. I told him and got a sermon lasting the rest of dinner concerning how wrong our religon was. Needless to say the next morning it was great to bump into the mans wife and have her tell us they had managed to get their table changed to the early seating and she was so sorry they would no longer be with us. Our greatest relief!!!

[mafig]

Not on HAL.

Open seating at lunch.

Two older women. The usual where are you from etc.

So I said, Florida, originally New Jersey.

"Oh, New Jersey!" said one of the "ladies." "My daughter teaches in Bloomfield, New Jersey." "Yes, she wasted her fine Massachusetts education to teach those ___________________" "She's even starting to talk like them now."

I did try to give it back to her, but it just went over her head.

All I could think was thank heavens I didn't have her at our table all week. Just in case, I now ask for a table for two.

[missygirl]

On a crossing last year the first night at sea one of our talemates first question was what was our religon. I told him and got a sermon lasting the rest of dinner concerning how wrong our religon was. Needless to say the next morning it was great to bump into the mans wife and have her tell us they had managed to get their table changed to the early seating and she was so sorry they would no longer be with us. Our greatest relief!!!


Let me stress that I am not downing any religion at all as I attend church regulary. The story is not quite the same as yours but our first night the same happened...questioning our religion. We were seated at a large table and a woman spent the entire meal telling us of her church and her son the minister. No one at the table had a moment to speak, everyone looking at each other all thinking...hush and let us eat in peace we are on vacation. When we left the dining room I looked at my hubby and told him I didn't think I could stand it for another six nights. But we decided to try one more night...everyone had dissapeared never to return except that couple and us. She then thanked us for not leaving them saying she didn't have a lot of freinds back home and she knows that she talks too much so the heart took over and we sat there the entire week. One thing did happen...she was under the weather one night and the strangest thing...her husband spoke...I had only seen him nod all week. To be honest he was a very smart guy and had worked for the military developing weapons when he was younger. Then she was back and all was silent.

Missygirl

[prescottbob]

Ahoy!

Last nearby tablemate : Giving my stateroom # when ordering a bottle of expensive champagne.

Bon Voyage and Good Health!
Bob:)

[George W. Bush]

Ahoy!

Last nearby tablemate : Giving my stateroom # when ordering a bottle of expensive champagne.

Bon Voyage and Good Health!
Bob:)

Maybe he wanted it delivered to your room as a gift?

[mamaofami]

After one cruise where we ate with a southern man, his wife, and their mother in law, we decided to always request a table for two. All this man could talk about was politics and religion, two topics that should be off limits with strangers.

[RevNeal]

Not the worst ... but pretty high up there.

"I don't like Texans. They're loud-mouthed, opinionated, conservative ignoramuses who don't know how to bathe and wouldn't recognize refined culture if it was presented to them labeled in simple words and diagrams. Thank goodness they don't cruise on HAL."

(I pulled out a pen and began to copy this peroration down. I didn't get all of it, but I got enough. It was priceless.).

What was hilarious was her apoplexy when, in response to her question as to where I live, I replied "Texas."

[RevNeal]

After one cruise where we ate with a southern man, his wife, and their mother in law, we decided to always request a table for two. All this man could talk about was politics and religion, two topics that should be off limits with strangers.

Regarding politics, I almost always agree.
Regarding religion, I consider it optional. Being clergy, I don't bring up religion because I realize that it's a hot topic. However, being clergy it also never fails that I'm asked religious and theological questions at the dinner table. Once they find out I'm a minister, the questions almost automatically follow. I don't mind, and I'm usually as general and as non-controversial as possible about my responses while still giving my honest opinion. Sometimes people don't like my answers, and when that happens I attempt to diffuse the situation by reminding such that opinions may and usually do vary greatly on most such issues. The problems come when the disagreement isn't over a matter of opinion, but over a matter of fact. I attempt never to argue about such things at the dinner table, however, and invite them -- if they still want to talk about it -- to broach the subject later. Usually, MUCH later.

[Copper10-8]

"Sprechen sie Deutch?"

Elderly couple from the former East German Democratic Republic who didn't speak a lick of English

[hammybee]

We too have been seated with those who did not speak English. But heck, we did not speak their language either, so it was a draw.

We have been seated with people who condemed alcohol and especially those who drank wine with dinner. Time to order bottle #2.

We have been seated at a large table, more than once, with an M.D. This seems to compel some people to share intimite details of their medical situations and ask for spontaneous second opinions.

Hands down though, the fellow, who upon learning my profession, and proceeded to scream profanities at me and insisted upon being reassigned to another table, wins the prize. His mortified wifey followed him.

[George W. Bush]

If you don't mind my asking Hammy, what do you do for a living that could possibly elicit such a responce!?

[hammybee]

If you don't mind my asking Hammy, what do you do for a living that could possibly elicit such a responce!?

At that time, I had just been licenced as a Realtor. I also do day trading.

Prior to this, I spent decades managing the risk in the mortgage-backed securities market.

Needless to say, given the current situation, I might be inclined to tell future tablemates that I am a Domestic Goddess.:D

[O2cruise]

I kept expecting to see my faux paux told here, but in order to avoid the anxiety - we were seated with a couple who spoke very broken English. The husband was sitting at the far end of the table and I was determined to engage in conversation. I overheard him saying something about strange foods they had eaten in their travels and I swore he was talking about bananas. I volunteered that in the U.S. many people eat them on their cereal for breakfast. He gave me the most astonished look, and the people closer to his end of the table burst out laughing. When they finished laughing to the point they could speak again they told me he was talking about piranhas, not bananas!

[kakalina]

On my last cruise on the first night in the main dining room I was escorted to my table for six. Imagine my chagrin when my tablemates were one harrassed mother and four, count 'em four, screaming, coughing, runny nosed offspring. I didn't even sit there the one night, I just advised the maitre d' that no way was I sitting with a table of children. Could you just imagine???

[hammybee]

I kept expecting to see my faux paux told here, but in order to avoid the anxiety - we were seated with a couple who spoke very broken English. The husband was sitting at the far end of the table and I was determined to engage in conversation. I overheard him saying something about strange foods they had eaten in their travels and I swore he was talking about bananas. I volunteered that in the U.S. many people eat them on their cereal for breakfast. He gave me the most astonished look, and the people closer to his end of the table burst out laughing. When they finished laughing to the point they could speak again they told me he was talking about piranhas, not bananas!
Love it.

[Turtle Woman]

The first time we ate in the formal dining room the lady across from us started complaining about how young folks today have no morals. She said "Young women think nothing of having babies without being married." I didn't say anything because (you guessed it) I'd been one of those single mothers.

After she said it I was quiet and I didn't say anything because I didn't want her to realize she had insulted me, but I've had a lot of "I wish I'd said ...." moments.

We didn't use formal dining very often on that cruise and later our waiter asked if we didn't like the service. I just said that my husband preferred less formal dining. I got the feeling that we weren't the only people skipping that table. It could be that this couple didn't like *us* either!

I've been lucky. I married a good man, and my son is a fine person who has a job that takes him all over the world. I have no regrets.

I should say that my husband and I have met a lot of neat people over the years, and this experience on the cruise is possibly my only negative experience.

[bermuda triangle]

We have been seated at a large table, more than once, with an M.D. This seems to compel some people to share intimate details of their medical situations and ask for spontaneous second opinions.

Hands down though, the fellow, who upon learning my profession, and proceeded to scream profanities at me and insisted upon being reassigned to another table, wins the prize. His mortified wifey followed him.


Hammy... welcome to my world:D!! I can end up with one or both of those any time Noah and I are together.

Laura

[bermuda triangle]

At that time, I had just been licenced as a Realtor. I also do day trading.

Prior to this, I spent decades managing the risk in the mortgage-backed securities market.

Needless to say, given the current situation, I might be inclined to tell future tablemates that I am a Domestic Goddess.:D

Professional Cruise Critic may be safe to say as well;)

[bermuda triangle]

This wasn't something that was said..
We traveled in a group of around 30 people for the majority of the cruises I was on. I believe I was around 11, with my family, another family in our group had 2 sons, the youngest being roughly 2 yrs older than me.
His father proceeded to cut his steak for him every night. In the meantime other passengers were amazed that my sister who was around 1, in a high chair, could drink milk from a straw. It was just two extremes which I noted.


On another cruise, I was about 15, we were with more families, somehow there ended up being a table with the children.. we were all young teenagers. There was a girl about 15 who screamed across our table to her mother to ask if she could have a mai tai. Her mother said yes.
Personally I was appalled by this on both counts. I would have preferred to dine with the adults any day.

Maybe it was because I was accustomed to cruising, had manners and always behaved.

Laura

[jer_l]

This wasn't at the table, but last January when we cruised to Mexico from San Diego we were on the ship early and I left to pick up something at a nearby Office Depot. As I was leaving there was an elderly lady boarding. Just as I passed her she said to her taveling companion, "I'm sure I'll be fine as long as I'm wearing my brassiere." I have no idea what she was talking about, but I laughed all the way to the store.

[Cruising-along]

I kept expecting to see my faux paux told here, but in order to avoid the anxiety - we were seated with a couple who spoke very broken English. The husband was sitting at the far end of the table and I was determined to engage in conversation. I overheard him saying something about strange foods they had eaten in their travels and I swore he was talking about bananas. I volunteered that in the U.S. many people eat them on their cereal for breakfast. He gave me the most astonished look, and the people closer to his end of the table burst out laughing. When they finished laughing to the point they could speak again they told me he was talking about piranhas, not bananas!

Oh, this is priceless! :D It reminded me of when I was (much much) younger. We were traveling through the southwest and I had never seen hominy before. DH and I were at a buffet and the server asked me "hominy?" For the life of me, I thought sure she said "how many?". Thinking it was CORN, I said, kind of sarcastically, "well, just one bowl!!" Was I ever embarassed when my DH explained my faux pas!

As for tablemates, we haven't had any bad ones. But oh my, after reading some of these horror stories it just reinforces my desire for a table for 2! :eek:

[Moonhead15]

On a cruise stopping in Jamaica we were warned about purchasing drugs. On returning to the ship and going into the dining room, we were placed with another couple (from out of space I think). The husband informed us that he feels it was unjust what they said about Jamaicans selling drugs since no one approached him except a nice guy who wanted to know if he wanted Coke.

[nchank]

On open seating on the Dawn:,Out of the blue a lady at our table says, "My mother just died and my sisters want me to come home immediately and open the safe deposit box. I did not like my mother and my sisters can just wait" Then she goes into details about how rotten her mother was to her. We did not linger at the table.:mad:

[RetiredMustang]

Strange, it seems this thread started in 2005, but was bumped. Somebody went that far back?

In any case, it's a fun thread, so I appreciate it. Here's my story -- not so much the "worst" thing said, but more along the lines of what others have posted about funny things said.

We were on Costa Atlantica out of Venice, and they tried to put the native English-speakers together, the German-speakers ditto, etc.
So, we were at a table of six with another U.S. couple about mid-30's, we were in our late 40's and two English ladies in I would guess late 50's (sorry ladies if I guessed wrong and you are reading this ...)

We ordered starters, and the other U.S. man ordered the carpaccio, which is very thinly-sliced raw beef tenderloin, usually served on a bed of arugula and topped with shavings of parmesan cheese. It's a fine dish, and easy to find in Italy, so we thought nothing of his choice.

When it arrived, he looked at it, and turned to the waiter and said, "this meat is raw!" The waiter said something like, "Yes sir, it is the carpaccio you ordered." He looked around at us and saw a few raised eyebrows, so said, "Well, I don't eat raw meat. Just bring me the Parma ham and melon."

This is funny only if you know that Parma ham (prosciutto crudo) is raw-cured. We happened to catch the eye of one of the English ladies, and could see they knew the irony of the situation as well.

Dave

[kwahl1]

" I don't think I packed enough cloths for 22 days, I might have to do laundry in the sink"

On a AK cruise in September"I didn't hink it was going to be cold. I'll have to buy some warm clothing"

[Hobbit]

In the laundry room (okay it was on the Queen Mary, but it's funny) my conversation with a nice lady from Yorkshire went like this:

Me: Are you done with this dryer?
Her: oh yes, help yourself
Me: Here, I believe you left this sock.
Her: thank-you
Her: Where are you from?
Me: Seattle.
Her: Oh! You're American! You speak English so well!

Me: :confused:

Me: Yes, we are a former British colony.

[hylasgirl]

The last cruise we took in February we thought we were going to be seated with some friends of ours. It turns out that we were seated at the table next to them with 2 older couples (who knew each other). It was like the dinner scene from "meet the parents"...it was that awkward and we usually have a good time with most people we meet. And they knew each other so you would think they would chat with each other and we would join in. Nope. It was like having dinner with the living dead. Meanwhile our friends at the next table were having a great time with their tablemates. I refused to spend another dinner at that table.

The good news...we moved to another table to be with some other people we had met (thet had 4 empty seats at their large round table) and we had a blast the rest of the cruise. I looked forward to dinner and I swear I never laughed so much in one week, my ribs were sore.

So if you're not happy, move! By the way, we're cruising again next january with our friends and I hope this time we get seated with them!

You can link your reservations and make sure you do... you know this right?

[babyher]

OK it didn't happen on a cruise ship, but it did happen on a vacation.

It was truly an unintentional slip of the tongue , and my Dad was just stating a fact and meant nothing by it,

Family vacation in Walt Disney World early 70s.

We are standing in one of the endless lines waiting to get on one of the rides. In front of us is a Japanese couple and after a while of standing there they strike up a conversation with my parents.

They were explaining that they were touring the US and they mentioned all the places they had been to and what a beautiful country America was.

My father certainly agreed and then stated that Japan is a beautiful country also, and mentioned several cities and places he had been to.

The gentleman seemed surprised my dad knew so much about his country and asked hime when hje was in Japan.

My dad , very innocently and matter of factly answered him. "Oh God years ago , 1942-43"

After an awkward moment of silence the couple just turned around and faced the front of the line.

It took a moment for my dad to realize what he said , although he honestly didn't mean anything by it. Then he wanted to crawl in a hole :)

[SarasMommy]

My mother, husband and I were seated at a table of 8 with a couple, and another couple and their daughter in her 20's. The first night, when we were getting to know each other, the daughter told us about her job and how she had to go through tons of security and background checks during one assignment, including a body cavity search! And through the whole cruise, she and her parents called my husband by the wrong name. So one night, I made a point of telling a story, during which I said his name several times and loudly. I heard the daughter whisper to her mom, "Is his name ___, I thought it was ___?" to which the mother replied, "Oh, it doesn't matter". I guess we should have switched tables after the first night.

On another cruise, we sat with a couple, about mid 50's. Every night the husband ordered for the wife. Before the waiters came around, the wife told the husband what she wanted, and when the waiters came, the husband would say, "First we'll take care of Mrs. ____, she will have ....". The feminist part of me thought this was strange, but hey, to each his own.

[puddles'n splashes]

Our first cruise was on Carnival on Christmas vacation.There you have the first two mistakes. We were at a table for eight with some friends and great table mates as well. Beside us were eight of the most rude, unruly children I have ever seen. Their parents sat across the dining room on the other side. The kids threw buns, used their spoons to fire sugar cubes etc. across the room. Pleas to the waiter and head waiter fell on deaf ears. Finally, one of our party went to the purser. One of the parents had to sit at the table and the kids were definitly put out! They were disliked throughout the ship as one boy held another under water before our horrified eyes and on all excursions they went to hotels and took over the pools. They slid down the bannisters and swung on the curtains like monkeys. Why they weren't asked to leave at the first port, I'll never understand. When kids travel free or on reduced rates, Avoid them like the plague.We do.

[jocelysue]

[QUOTE=SarasMommy;11329347]My mother, husband and I were seated at a table of 8 with a couple, and another couple and their daughter in her 20's. The first night, when we were getting to know each other, the daughter told us about her job and how she had to go through tons of security and background checks during one assignment, including a body cavity search! And through the whole cruise, she and her parents called my husband by the wrong name. So one night, I made a point of telling a story, during which I said his name several times and loudly. I heard the daughter whisper to her mom, "Is his name ___, I thought it was ___?" to which the mother replied, "Oh, it doesn't matter". I guess we should have switched tables after the first night.

On another cruise, we sat with a couple, about mid 50's. Every night the husband ordered for the wife. Before the waiters came around, the wife told the husband what she wanted, and when the waiters came, the husband would say, "First we'll take care of Mrs. ____, she will have ....". The feminist part of me thought this was strange, but hey, to each his own.[/QUOTE

]I sure can relate with the feminist side of you. On the other hand, many etiquette books state that is it appropriate for the man to order both his and his lady companion's meal. What would have made me shudder more would have been if he had not asked her tastes beforehand.

My own DH was brought up with the notion that it was polite for a gentleman to pull out the chair for the lady to be seated and then to wait until she was seated befor sitting himself; to this day he still does that, even at home. He also learned that , in a restaurant, a gentleman should wait for his female companion to peruse the menu and then give him her choices which he would convey to the waiter. along with his own, hers coming first. I've weaned him off that but he still feels that he's being rude when he lets me order. And no way is he macho. He thoroughly believes in women's rights .
But he DID read Emily Post.(LOL)

[Lurker1]

Regarding politics, I almost always agree.
Regarding religion, I consider it optional. Being clergy, I don't bring up religion because I realize that it's a hot topic. However, being clergy it also never fails that I'm asked religious and theological questions at the dinner table. Once they find out I'm a minister, the questions almost automatically follow. I don't mind, and I'm usually as general and as non-controversial as possible about my responses while still giving my honest opinion. Sometimes people don't like my answers, and when that happens I attempt to diffuse the situation by reminding such that opinions may and usually do vary greatly on most such issues. The problems come when the disagreement isn't over a matter of opinion, but over a matter of fact. I attempt never to argue about such things at the dinner table, however, and invite them -- if they still want to talk about it -- to broach the subject later. Usually, MUCH later.

We were eating Breakfast in the Lido on the Oosterdam last year, seated by ourselves. At the next table there were three gentlemen who read something from the bible and prayed before eating.

Then . . . they handed a pamphlet to one of the waiters, and then proceeded to question loudly how he could know in which direction was Mecca.

He politely left the area, and the people at that table soon left. The waiter was a young man, and visibly upset. A woman asked him if was OK, and he had calmed down by then.

Later I ran into the same group, and managed to casually remark about the large chart that showed the ship's position . . . I don't think they got it.

[RevNeal]

We were eating Breakfast in the Lido on the Oosterdam last year, seated by ourselves. At the next table there were three gentlemen who read something from the bible and prayed before eating.

Then . . . they handed a pamphlet to one of the waiters, and then proceeded to question loudly how he could know in which direction was Mecca.

He politely left the area, and the people at that table soon left. The waiter was a young man, and visibly upset. A woman asked him if was OK, and he had calmed down by then.

That was TOTALLY unacceptable. Any attempt at proselytism in such a setting is wrong and should not be tolerated. Period. The steward is to be commended for how he dealt with it.

I have, sometimes, been asked questions by crew members about what kind of a minister I am, along with other such things, but that is at THEIR initiation. Never, ever, mine. And, even when such has happened, I say NOTHING about their religion nor do I attempt to convert anyone to mine.

[Lurker1]

That was TOTALLY unacceptable. Any attempt at proselytism in such a setting is wrong and should not be tolerated. Period. The steward is to be commended for how he dealt with it.

I have, sometimes, been asked questions by crew members about what kind of a minister I am, along with other such things, but that is at THEIR initiation. Never, ever, mine. And, even when such has happened, I say NOTHING about their religion nor do I attempt to convert anyone to mine.

Well said!:)

[Marmarjudy]

I've read all of these posts, and laughed, because it just reaffirms why we ALWAYS want a table for two or just for our group.

I also have stories about the first night dining (when our table for two hadn't yet cleared.) It was not pleasant, ever, or we wouldn't have switched every time.

Our idea of vacation, or cruising, is not spending 10% of our waking hours, dining, no less, with less than pleasant strangers. You all laugh and take it in stride as an expected and acceptable cruising experience. We don't. We are guaranteed a great time, every time, with just each other. I guess many others don't have that type relationship and need strangers, regardless, to enhance their cruising experience. We don't.

Does this thread help others understand why the anytime/as you wish dining is so popular on other cruise lines? No poll is necessary...this thread says it all. I am not referring to solos..I really do understand your situation.

Another opinion,
Judy

[Jen&Joe]

"How often do you have to elect the Queen in England" :eek:

[Copper10-8]

I've read all of these posts, and laughed, because it just reaffirms why we ALWAYS want a table for two or just for our group...

Evenin' Judy, I respect your opinion and your right to select a table for two, believe me, I do! Having said that, the examples we all can read here are just that, examples. Examples of, shall we say, "interesting" tablemates. I am willing to bet you that there are a lot more examples of pleasant experiences with new tablemates, friendships made, sometimes for live, great conversation, laughter, a good time had by all, etc. etc., at those tables for four, six, eight, or ten.

The wife and I have cruised a few times but have never requested a table for two. Again, I'm not knocking you or anybody else whose preference it is to have diner with their significant other. More power to all of you. just wanted to make a point that not all new tablemates turn into experiences like the ones above. IMO, the vast majority don't!:) Happy cruising to ya'll!

[donaldsc]

On another cruise, we were seated with a family from France. On the first night, the son (a year or two younger than me) turns to us and says "Whenever I look at Americans, I always feel superior because of our better math education system. I learned Calculus before I was ready to attend College, most of you Americans don't even know Algebra."

OK, thanks for sharing.

You should have reminded them at all that calculus did not help the French when the Americans had to rescue them in WWI or WWII. It also did not help them when we declined to help them at Dien Dien Phu (sp???) in Vietnam or when the bailed out of Algeria. They also lost as far back as the French & Indian War and in Canada in the 1700's.

Guess that they must be good at calculus but really bad at defending their own country.

DON

[George W. Bush]

I've really enjoyed the company of my table mates. There's a few examples where other people kind of annoy me, but I wouldn't give up the other overwhelmingly pleasant experiences I've had.

[hammybee]

Oh poppycock ;) The French have different priorities. They tend to look better, dress better, live in better appointed, albeit smaller dwellings and they eat better. They vacation longer, retire earlier and live longer despite a large smoking population. Maybe it's the wine.

[bermuda triangle]

My friend Gerard's motto "respect the wine". He's from Paris.

Laura

[MaryAnnKacz]

The table mate was actually the husband of the couple we cruise with, our friend. He means well, but sometimes the right words don't come out of his mouth. We were seated by people who were missionaries, at a midnight buffet. Our friend as well as them had been to the Dominican Republic. Our friend told them how he hired like a "slave" to show him around the city for a dollar a day, his wife, quickly corrected it with "guide". He also proceeded to tell them that this "guide" even had a towel waiting for him when he got out of the shower. Their mouths dropped at this one. This guide also climbed up coconut trees for 25 cents to cut a coconut with a machete. I was in stitches. But I don't think the missionaries were amused. I can imagine what they thought of our friend.

[shonuf]

I realize I've posted to this thread previously but that was in 2005 and I have a new entry. In January we went on the Zuiderdam with good friends and requested a large table, late seating. One of the couples the first night were extremely unhappy about getting late seating and mouthed off the entire meal. Saw them the next day and they had decided to eat in the Lido if they couldn't get moved. That night there was a new couple who seemed nice enough. On the way out of the dining room that night, the wife approached me and said. "My husband always complains that I talk too much but with you at the table, I didn't get a chance to open my mouth". :eek:

That was my last night in the dining room! Thank goodness for the Pinnacle and room service.

[hammybee]

"My husband always complains that I talk too much but with you at the table, I didn't get a chance to open my mouth". :eek:

That was my last night in the dining room! Thank goodness for the Pinnacle and room service.

Good one. I like you.

[WyKnott]

On our second cruise, we were at a table with two men, very delightful and we got along with them famously. But, one night they showed up for dinner obviously bombed. The one sitting next to me started to list towards me as dinner progressed. By the entree, he was leaning on my shoulder and had started to eat from my plate. :eek: His friend who had not had as much to drink finally noticed and hustled him out of there.

The next night, nothing was said, I don't think they remembered a thing. :o

[Susie51]

The first night on an 11-night cruise, I was letting the waiter know which appetizer, soup, salad, and main course I wanted. In a deadly serious voice the man across from me told me I shouldn't eat so much because I'm fat enough. Everyone at the table was a little unnerved by the comment and there was "dead" silence.

Fortunately, the second night his wife and he were the last couple to arrive at our table for eight. Our table was already filled, because one of the couples had been invited to the Captain's table on the first night so they weren't at our table on the first night, but they were already seated the second night. The maitre'd (sp?) found another table for the offensive man and his wife.

Other than that one time, I have enjoyed my tablemates.

[TnTom]

Well, it wasn't something said, but something done. One of our table mates hurled right before the main course... ON PRIME RIB NIGHT! That was on the Oosterdam last year.

[RevNeal]

On our second cruise, we were at a table with two men, very delightful and we got along with them famously. But, one night they showed up for dinner obviously bombed. The one sitting next to me started to list towards me as dinner progressed. By the entree, he was leaning on my shoulder and had started to eat from my plate. :eek: His friend who had not had as much to drink finally noticed and hustled him out of there.

The next night, nothing was said, I don't think they remembered a thing. :o

Gotta hand it to my Christopher ... he can sure get sloshed! I tried to get him out of there, though ... fast. Still ... I hope he didn't eat too much off your plate! :D ;)

[RevNeal]

Well, it wasn't something said, but something done. One of our table mates hurled right before the main course... ON PRIME RIB NIGHT! That was on the Oosterdam last year.

Sea Sickness?

[AudTraveler]

On our second cruise, about 30 years ago, my wife and I were seated with two couples. In the course of conversation, the wife of Couple #1 revealed that she had been treated for mental illness. The wife of Couple #2, who was ultra-religious, announced that mental illness was a consquence of sin. She saw sin everywhere -- in the buffet table, in the shows...

On a more recent cruise, where we were seated with one couple, the wife continuously baited the waiter who had been married several times in his young life. From that time on, we ate by ourselves in the alternative restaurants.

We now take a table for two so that we are not exposed to boorish behaviour.

[kryos]

We now take a table for two so that we are not exposed to boorish behaviour.
LOL ... another plus for AYWD. :)

Blue skies ...

--rita

[jcrandle]

Our first cruise was in 1988 on the Carnival Holiday. We took two DD's and DMIL on a 7 night western Caribbean itinerary. DMIL liked her coffee, but only drank decaf. The assistant waiter was responsible for the drinks, and was from Columbia, but had very limited english skills. One evening he wandered around with the two coffee pots, one with the brown top and the other with orange top. When he came to our table, he asked DMIL, "Coffee?" "Yes, Sanka." she replied. "You're welcome," was his response as he poured from the brown pot.

She didn't correct him, and we got a big laugh after he walked away. However, we had a bigger laugh a few moments later, as we saw him hold up the two pots, with one nearly empty and one almost full, and pour the full one into the other till both were half full. :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

On cruises we've never met a man (or woman;) ) we didn't like. By the end of each cruise we've generally made friends for life ... one of our favorite reasons for cruising.

Reading some of these posts, though, I guess we're just really lucky.

[RuthC]

Reading some of these posts, though, I guess we're just really lucky.
Or perhaps maybe you're both just really nice and fun to be around.

[Marmarjudy]

Evenin' Judy, I respect your opinion and your right to select a table for two, believe me, I do! Having said that, the examples we all can read here are just that, examples. Examples of, shall we say, "interesting" tablemates. I am willing to bet you that there are a lot more examples of pleasant experiences with new tablemates, friendships made, sometimes for live, great conversation, laughter, a good time had by all, etc. etc., at those tables for four, six, eight, or ten.

The wife and I have cruised a few times but have never requested a table for two. Again, I'm not knocking you or anybody else whose preference it is to have diner with their significant other. More power to all of you. just wanted to make a point that not all new tablemates turn into experiences like the ones above. IMO, the vast majority don't!:) Happy cruising to ya'll!

We also make friends on every cruise, but NOT at dinner..why take the chance? We are in touch with many we've met over the years. We meet them at bars before dinner, on excursions, in the casino, art auctions, etc. But...those meetings are not forced conversations with no options for escape like at dinner.

Both of us have to chit chat with strangers on a daily basis with our jobs. A cruise is a vacation. After 40 years of marriage, we prefer the company of each other on vacation because we are assured of always having a good time. We don't need chit chat with strangers to fill the gaps. I know not all couples are like that and we consider ourselves very lucky.

Judy

[drtee]

On a Greek cruise, having lunch in the dining room, so it was not with our usual tablemates (and we've had really good luck there so far). An old man from USA and another old man from Canada were going on and on about how foreigners were ruining their countries, yada yada. Then the US old man sneezes a big one, doesn't cover his mouth or nose, and deposits "stuff" on my arm.

I had a cold later that week.

[pmenefee]

My wife and I were seated at a table for four with a very unhappy couple. He wore a bow tie every night and she had some very obvious mental health issues. He ordered for her and answered all questions directed at her. She surprised us every night with here makeup and attire. Some nights she had almost no makeup on and a gray gown of some kind. The next night she usually had makeup painted on like she was making a joke of it and had on a bright colored dress. He talked the whole time about how much they hated cruises and would never go on another one. She was in line in front of us on disembarkation day with lipstick smeared from ear to ear and big drink in her hand at 10:00 am.
We never asked to change tables, but that was a learning experience and we would never sit through a week like that again.

[TnTom]

Greg,

We were on the Oosterdam's Mexican Riviera route, and we had just pulled out of Cabo headed for Mazatlan. It is a fairly short distance between the two, so I think the ship was running on trolling motors. The boat was rocking quite a bit. I think that leg of the trip must always produce increased sea sickness among because the crew had already placed barf bag dispensers at the elevators.

Anyway, I felt sorry for the lady that got sick. Her husband was seated across from her and really didn't show much compassion. I could tell it was going to happen as soon as I saw how green she was when we arrived at the table.

We deliberately requested a large table so we could socialize with different folks, and we weren't disappointed. It was actually a lot of fun, and we still laugh about some of the dinner events.

I must admit, though... we did do more eating in the Lido after the sea sickness event. Dinner just wasn't the same!

Tom

[Orcrone]

I've never had any bad tablemates, but thought we did on our first cruise in 1990 when we were in our late 20s. We were at a table of six with a couple in their mid 40s and an "old" couple. The wife of the middle aged couple was sloshed during dinner. We figured a lush and a boring old couple.

What a couple of a**holes we were. The husband of the middle-aged couple explained that his wife never drank and her condition was a result of one drink at sailaway. Sure enough we never saw her drunk again and she apologized the next evening. The "old" couple were in their 70s and on their honeymoon. They went parasailing and even went on an excursion to the Tulum ruins (yes, the one referred to as lots of walking). We had a great time with all of them and have never had anything except great tablemates on all our cruises.

[LuvsDamships]

Gotta hand it to my Christopher ... he can sure get sloshed! I tried to get him out of there, though ... fast. Still ... I hope he didn't eat too much off your plate! :D ;)

HeHeHe Reverend. I can't picture that of either of you! But it's funny anyway.

[WeLoveCruising]

Two stories:

The first was on the Costa Victoria about ten years ago, when we were seated with another couple. The husband would literally fall asleep during the meal, and the wife said it was because he had narcolepsy. (I know that is a medical condition - so I dont mean to be disrespectful to that). We tried to be very quiet the whole time at the table so as to not wake him. I dont think we even got their names because we barely spoke through dinner.

The midnight cheese stealer was on our first cruise, about 17 years ago on the old Dolphin IV out of Miami. My DH was sitting down with a plate he just got from the midnight buffet, and this drunk man walked past our table and said "Hey Compadre, you gonna eat that cheese?" - He didnt wait for an answer, he just stuck his fork in my husband's cheese and ate it!

The cheese story is our running inside joke of 17 years - whenever DH and I want to sample what's on each others plate, to this day we'll say "Hey compadre, are you gonna eat that <whatever>?"

[LuvsDamships]

On a Greek cruise, having lunch in the dining room, so it was not with our usual tablemates (and we've had really good luck there so far). An old man from USA and another old man from Canada were going on and on about how foreigners were ruining their countries, yada yada. Then the US old man sneezes a big one, doesn't cover his mouth or nose, and deposits "stuff" on my arm.

I had a cold later that week.

I would have wiped it off on him, while saying "Oh, excuse me ... this is yours."

[INSIDERS CABIN]

Does this count for tablemates?
On our very first cruise on the little Sun Viking in 1992, we ended up with second seating. The first night we sat adjacent to a table occupied by 2 lovely couples from Iowa who were quite sympathetic when our 2 elementary aged kids fell asleep at dinner. They suggested we request first seating so that the boys could stay awake...so we did. Two days later we saw them in port and asked who had taken our table and they replied "four nice gentlemen." Next time we saw them as we left the dining room and they said the 4 gentlemen had been replaced by 4 ladies all dressed up for formal night......
Next day they took us aside to report that the men and the women were the same party of 4. How can that be we asked? Turned out to be a group of cross-dressers!

[TKandKK]

The midnight cheese stealer was on our first cruise, about 17 years ago on the old Dolphin IV out of Miami. My DH was sitting down with a plate he just got from the midnight buffet, and this drunk man walked past our table and said "Hey Compadre, you gonna eat that cheese?" - He didnt wait for an answer, he just stuck his fork in my husband's cheese and ate it!

The cheese story is our running inside joke of 17 years - whenever DH and I want to sample what's on each others plate, to this day we'll say "Hey compadre, are you gonna eat that <whatever>?"

LOL...
Now, I've never been on a cruise, but this, (and many of the other stories), is the kind of thing that I don't mind at all because it fits into the category of "Life Experiences". Sure they might be annoying a the time, but you can usually turn those little annoyances into "fun things we remember", just like "WeLoveCruising" did.

I hearby invite all the flakes, nuts, and goofs to my table! (I just want to make sure I'm not one of them.) :)

[Shir Hayam]

My DH and I always choose to sit at a medium size table so that we get a chance to easily communicate with our tablemates. As others have suggested, dining with a variety of people on a cruise is a great way to get to know folks, most of whom have been very pleasant fellow diners. One of my big concerns about "as you wish" dining is that we really won't get know our tablemates. Heck, hubby and I get to dine alone almost every night when we're at home. We view chatting with others over dinner as fun.

Nevertheless, we have had some challenging tablemates. Coincidentally, perhaps, they tend to be from the "Evil Empire". Hmmmm. On one Celebrity cruise, we were seated with complainers, particularly the wife. Everything was not as good as their last cruise. Poor quality soaps and lotions, mediocre food, so so service, etc. DH and I thought everything was as wonderful as always on Celebrity. The third couple at the table were lovely people from Canada, so that was going to be a saving grace, we thought. But the Canadians quickly decided they just loved the specialty restaurant and we didn't see too much of them in the main dining room for the rest of the week. So we were left with the complainers. But we decided to try to find some things we had in common with them. Discussing ones adult children often fits the bill very well. Anything to shift the conversations to a more positive note - and it worked pretty well. After a few nights, they did lessen the complaints and we had some enjoyable conversations. Now in the interest of honesty, DH and I are both human service types so we were willing to make the effort. Otherwise, we too may have been dining more in the specialty restaurant.

Sheila

[Gypsy025]

Can't think of a specific comment, but we've 'dined' with some individuals that never know when to shut up.

[trubey]

We had an interesting, and rather touching, experience at lunch one day on Prinsendam.

We were seated at a table for four with a very old man and his very old wife. The waiter presented our menus and the gentleman proceeded to read the entire menu aloud, top to bottom, in a somewhat dull, quiet monotone.

The waiter came and took our orders "I'll have pea soup, a Reuben sandwich and the chocolate torte, please", said the woman.

The rest of us ordered, and during our subsequent conversation the man told us his wife's eyes were so poor she couldn't read the menu at all and he always read it out to her for her choices!

They were in their mid-90s, both physicians involved in research before their retirement; and fascinating, erudite people. What a pleasure to meet them!

Lane

[babyher]

LOL...
Now, I've never been on a cruise, but this, (and many of the other stories), is the kind of thing that I don't mind at all because it fits into the category of "Life Experiences". Sure they might be annoying a the time, but you can usually turn those little annoyances into "fun things we remember", just like "WeLoveCruising" did.

I hearby invite all the flakes, nuts, and goofs to my table! (I just want to make sure I'm not one of them.) :)



*LOL*

i agree with you 100%

I embrace the crazy people in life, they provide me with limitless entertainment.

It drives my DW crazy that I actually strike up a conversation with them *LOL* She says I am going to be robbed and murdered by them some day *LOL*

Like the guy on the street in NYC.

Did you know the reason they don't sell Yoo Hoo in Burger King is because of a deal between former mayor Ed Koch and the Palastinians ?

Ya think I'm crazy huh? Go to a Burger king and try and get a Yoo Hoo and then tell me how crazy I am. :) :) *LOL*

Embrace the flakes, and nut jobs in life. They make life fun *LOL*

[hammybee]

*LOL*


Embrace the flakes, and nut jobs in life. They make life fun *LOL*

I like this. We are all nut jobs and don't realize it.

[mamma0233]

We are first time cruisers...Noordam, 9-9-2007, and just want to thank you all for the stories! It's been a riot! You all sound so sane and grounded it makes my heart light! I can't wait! Thanks again for the REAL "in's and out's" :)

[beachdreaming]

I'll try to post this but....you had to be there......

First night of the cruise at a table for 8...the first 6 of us there and then SHE arrived......first you saw her carrying a glass that was flashing on and off...it was irridescent plastic that had batteries in it that flashed various colors....she then opened her mouth to reveal a very nasal, sing-song, child like voice.....very irritating. She told us that she LOVED doing things that attracted attention to her and the glass was a conversation starter. She dominated the entire conversation (all the while her husband sat there quietly). One of our ports was Dominica and she planned to take the whale watching excursion. Her voice got higher, louder, and more child like as she talked about hoping to see a whale. Then she practically screamed that when she saw a whale she was going to LICK it because then it would be hers FOREVER and EVER and EVER!!! She explained that licking a whale is just like licking a lollipop...once you lick it, it's yours and no one else will want it. So, she figures that she will just lick that whale and then it will be hers ?FOREVER and EVER, and EVER" Her voice and demeanor was very caustic to hubby and I. We decided that wouldn't be our table for the 11 day cruise and asked to move tables. However, I was curious about her whale watching excursion and found out she didn't get to lick a whale but she did dominate the entire excursion and had lots of people talking about her. According to the people on that excursion the tour operators manged to keep a smile on their face despite how obnoxious she was. Trust me, lots of people on the ship made comments about her because she did lots of other things to attract attention.


Trust me....you had to be there.....it was a cruise memory that I'd rather not have had. It takes all kinds and she was ONE of a kind!!!!

[Happy HALer]

On our Noordam cruise last year, an outspoken older lady at our table had a definite opinion of what my wife chose to wear. It was our 10th anniversary night, an informal night, we went to the Pinnacle grill for dinner and then went by our diningroom table to say hello. She said to my wife, "It's your tenth anniversary. Your husband looks so nice, and you chose to wear that?"

By the way, my beautiful wife looked lovely that night. 55324

[hammybee]

On our Noordam cruise last year, an outspoken older lady at our table had a definite opinion of what my wife chose to wear. It was our 10th anniversary night, an informal night, we went to the Pinnacle grill for dinner and then went by our diningroom table to say hello. She said to my wife, "It's your tenth anniversary. Your husband looks so nice, and you chose to wear that?"

By the way, my beautiful wife looked lovely that night. 55324

Sounds like your MIL :D

[Happy HALer]

Sounds like your MIL :D

Hi Hammybabe,

Actually it wasn't. It was an ever entertaining, eccentric, solo traveling, manhattan B&B owning, hope she doesn't sit next to me, lady. She came up with a lot of zingers that would would be very inappropriate coming from anyone else. We took it in stride and had a great time with her.

[hammybee]

Hi Hammybabe,

Actually it wasn't. It was an ever entertaining, eccentric, solo traveling, manhattan B&B owning, hope she doesn't sit next to me, lady. She came up with a lot of zingers that would would be very inappropriate coming from anyone else. We took it in stride and had a great time with her.

She was balled and burlaped?

[doorcountydi]

My sister and I had a foursome on one cruise about 3 years ago that was totally obnoxious--racist jokes, bragging about their wealth and trying to impress us (while ignoring us). We changed tables for the rest of the cruise. It was in the "life's too short" category.

Our last cruise, at the beginning of May, the adult daughter of the couple at the table said---on the last night of the cruise---"I hope you don't catch what I've got."

I started getting it on the flight home, and just got over it (wild coughing hanging on after a horrid some icky thing, much more than a cold) about 2 weeks ago. My sister's still fighting it.

Beware the words "I hope you don't catch what I've got." Beware, I say. :cool:

Diane

[newmexicoNita]

On our cruise last March on the Maasdam, my hubby and I ate lunch in the Dining Room one of the first days of the cruise and sat at a table for two. Nearby were a couple of retirement age dining alone also. The woman proceeded to talk loudly the entire meal about how she detested a certain retail chain and to make matters worse she gave one million incorrect facts about the company. She gave all of this info to her hubby and anyone in earshot. It happens that my husband is a mid level executive with the company and he was livid with anger; not that she disliked the company, but that she was over and over again reciting things that were absolutely false. Well I kept making eye contact with her, so she obviously knew I heard what she was saying. The next day, we went back to the dining room for lunch and sat at a table for eight and were seated right beside the lovely couple. My husband almost laughed out loud (he was over the anger by then). As we talked with out table mates the topic came around of what did we do for a living since we were the only non retirees at the table. I smiled grandly and looked directly at the woman and replied that I did not work but my husband was an executive for said company. She looked as if she had been kicked in the teeth. Even better the table began to discuss this company and she was forced to sit there and smile politely. I have decided that if you have strong opinions on something don't announce them to the world as it make come back to haunt you.I guess most of us, who have cruised more than a few times can think of some pretty rude, funny, or strange things we have heard. On our last HAL cruise we were at a table for 8. One couple was at the opposite wing politically from our good friends and us. They were very nice, but very outspoken. I said little, as most of us did. One particular night our cruising friends were not at the table: Thank God!!! The outspoken couple, the man, I beleive started in by mentioning a particular movie we all needed to see. If we did we would feel thus and so about politics. I knew his comments had rubbed my good friend the wrong way and I was happy she wasn't at dinner. The next night I, who has a rather loud voice, made a comment, to my friend about their newly elected governor. I said something like< I know he isn't ------ enough for your views but how do you like him? Our other wing table mates never brought up politics, the war, or anything remotely related again. All is well, that ends well.

Nita

[tomc]

I was solo at a large table when the other five started talking politics; specifically, the "Yellow Press Media." On and on they went about just how horribly the media is slanted and you can't get the truth anywhere, etc, ad nauseum. And, believe me, it was nauseum.

One of them asked me what I thought and I said, "I left my politics on the dock." They said, "I see you don't agree with us." I replied, "May agree, may not agree; I left my politics on the dock." My fear was they would ask what I do and I'd have to say, "News anchor."

After I indicated that this should be a non-politics table, we moved to neutral topics for the rest of the cruise.

[HeatherInFlorida]

..................
"I left my politics on the dock." .....................


I love that line!!!! I'll remember it.:)

[m steve]

after having 3 shrimp cocktails, 2 plates of escargot and 2 steaks.

[romancing_the_sea]

We were cruising on the old Westerdam with my inlaws - a nondrinking pastor and his wife. So, naturally, the couple seated with us were heavy drinkers and they had a big loud argument with the waiter about how awful the vodka was and demanded some better stuff! We were relieved when they chose a different table the next night and the next night and the next night. They kept table-hopping.

But before we boarded the ship, we boarded the transfer bus from the hotel and were greeted by one man who took one look at my husband wearing his "Maui" pants and he said, "You're not going to wear those, are you?"

On a Celebrity cruise, we were seated with 2 couples cruising together. One couple were experienced cruisers and the husband was trying to show off for his friends who were cruising for the first time. So every night at dinner he hit on the female Sommelier - he got bolder as the week progressed. We were soon nauseous and by the end of the cruise, his friends were, too. His wife was embarrassed for him and we were embarrassed for her. I don't know if I got sick on the Duck or sick just sitting with them.

[hammybee]

But before we boarded the ship, we boarded the transfer bus from the hotel and were greeted by one man who took one look at my husband wearing his "Maui" pants and he said, "You're not going to wear those, are you?"


Love it.

[tomc]

One couple were experienced cruisers and the husband was trying to show off for his friends who were cruising for the first time. Reminds me of the "know it all" who was sitting on the back deck with me. He pointed out a ship following us, the only one in sight.

"See that ship two points off our stern?" he asked, pointing with his pipe. (Sheesh; it's not as if we're in a flotilla.) I replied, "You mean the one behind us?"

[bermuda triangle]

This wasn't a tablemate and it surely isn't the worst thing I have heard...

When we were in Australia last year we met a couple, probably in their 60's, who were touring OZ and then cruising HAL to NZ. We met them on our transfer to the airport. They were from Washington (state). We talked about cruises, where we had been, where we were going, the Sydney Harbour Bridge climb.
As we were pulling up to the airport, the woman said our trip must have been very long and then asked if Connecticut bordered Canada. :rolleyes:
It amazes me people can travel the world and not grasp geography.

Laura

[hammybee]

As we were pulling up to the airport, the woman said our trip must have been very long and then asked if Connecticut bordered Canada. :rolleyes:
It amazes me people can travel the world and not grasp geography.

Laura
I wonder how many millions of people, within the U.S., are capable of a statement like this.

[bermuda triangle]

I wonder how many millions of people, within the U.S., are capable of a statement like this.

I am sure it is a lot. I just wouldn't expect it from someone who was as well traveled as she was. :cool:

[Copper10-8]

I wonder how many millions of people, within the U.S., are capable of a statement like this.


Check it out! Beginner, intermediate or advanced level:

http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/web_games.htm

[GmaPajama]

Check it out! Beginner, intermediate or advanced level:
Hey, Copper - that was fun! I didn't get 100%, but my average error was just 35 miles. Not bad for someone who's always thought she just didn't GET geography! Thanks for the ego boost. :)

[RuthC]

As we were pulling up to the airport, the woman said our trip must have been very long and then asked if Connecticut bordered Canada. :rolleyes:
It amazes me people can travel the world and not grasp geography.


I wonder how many millions of people, within the U.S., are capable of a statement like this.
You'd be amazed at the number of people who, upon learning that I'm from Rhode Island, say, "Oh, that's part of New York, right?".
When I reply, "no, it isn't" they invariably respond that "It's part of Massachusetts, then?".
The sad part is that it's usually Americans who are saying this! :eek:

(just in case---Rhode Island is a real, full-fledged State all on it's own.)

[tomc]

(just in case---Rhode Island is a real, full-fledged State all on its own.) It split off from Vermont in 1865 during the Spanish-American War, due to the large number of Spaniards who came over from the Azores. Everyone knows that.

[RuthC]

It split off from Vermont in 1865 during the Spanish-American War, due to the large number of Spaniards who came over from the Azores. Everyone knows that.
That's hysterical! :D :D

(But, ya know, someone's likely to believe that! :eek: )

[hammybee]

You'd be amazed at the number of people who, upon learning that I'm from Rhode Island, say, "Oh, that's part of New York, right?".
When I reply, "no, it isn't" they invariably respond that "It's part of Massachusetts, then?".
The sad part is that it's usually Americans who are saying this! :eek:

(just in case---Rhode Island is a real, full-fledged State all on it's own.)

Oh come on now. Everyone knows that most of RI is not really an island and it's on the Pacific Coast. You know, Newport Beach, Rhode Island.:D

[Copper10-8]

Oh come on now. Everyone knows that most of RI is not really an island and it's on the Pacific Coast. You know, Newport Beach, Rhode Island.:D

I think you're talking about La Canada, California, Ma'am;)


Hey, Copper - that was fun! I didn't get 100%, but my average error was just 35 miles. Not bad for someone who's always thought she just didn't GET geography! Thanks for the ego boost. :)


It's a cool game! - very educational, too!;)

[haligonian37]

That's just as bad as the notion many people have of Canada....that every city is near Toronto. Now this isn't to be confused with Torontonians that believe they live in the centre of the universe ;) .

Here's an example of many a conversation I've had on planes, trains and ships:

them: "Where are you from?"
me: "Halifax"
them: *puzzled looks*
me: "Nova Scotia?"
them: "Ohhhh, that's in Toronto, right?"
me: *has learned to hold back the sarcastic remarks with strangers*

[m steve]

can place the location of the Australian states?

[tomc]

Let's see how I do.

Diggeridoo, Kangaroo, Big Red Rock.

That's three.

They talk about outbacks; we had them behind our houses when I lived in a farming area.

I see "NSW" all the time; that's got to be Nine Silly Wongas.

That's five.

I guess the rest is the old penile colony. Is that the right word? Or is it "penal"?

[bermuda triangle]

can place the location of the Australian states?


They were AMERICAN. From Washington State.

[Copper10-8]

can place the location of the Australian states?

Heck, we can go on with this one 'till the kangaroo's come home, mate! Do you know the location of the Dutch provinces, the Swiss Kantons, the German Bundesländer?

I think the point here is that a lot of "know it all Americans":rolleyes: don't know their geography very well.

Incoming!!!!!!!!!!

[pmatch]

I wonder how many millions of people, within the U.S., are capable of a statement like this.

Yeh, just ask the Miss Teen USA candidate! She's got the answer!

[TKandKK]

can place the location of the Australian states?

I think they're all near Toronto.

:D :D :p :D :D

[Copper10-8]

Yeh, just ask the Miss Teen USA candidate! She's got the answer!

Miss South Carolina..........wait a minute, is'nt that next to Georgia or Idaho?;)

[tomc]

You're thinking of Miss Issippi and Miss Ouri.

[Copper10-8]

You're thinking of Miss Issippi and Miss Ouri.

Thanks for guiding me back on the right path!

[bermuda triangle]

Miss Idaho?
What no u da ho.

lol

[hammybee]

can place the location of the Australian states?

Um, I think Australia is one of those Hawaiian Islands. Yeah, I am sure of it. It's the one with all the crocodiles:D

[SarasMommy]

It amazes me people can travel the world and not grasp geography.

While on a bus tour in Puerto Vallarta in 1993 my ex-boyfriend's brother, after listening to the tour guide, pointed to the water and said to me "Wow, that's the Pacific Ocean". I said "Yes, what do you think we've been swimming in for the past week?" He said, "I thought it was the Gulf of Mexico.":confused:

[GarySuzy]

After not finding any references to me I think I can relay a couple of experiences from our crusies;

1. On RCI out of Ft. Lauderdale, at a table for 12 a couple from Ft. Lauderdale came late to the table and He made a statement "Only idiots would fly here from the West Coast to go on a Cruise" :p you guessed it everyone else at the table was from the West Coast. They did not come back to the table after the 1st night.

2. On RCI out of Galveston, at a table for 6 my DW and I were the only experienced cruisers. A couple from Ohio complained the whole cruise about their inside cabin - they had been offered an upgrade to an outside and had turned it down because she thought the window would be under water and to dangerous if the weather got bad.

I have enjoyed this theard.

[WeLoveCruising]

Overheard in the Lido lunch line:

The Captain had just made his 1pm announcement as we were sailing on the Maasdam back to Norfolk. He indicated that we were about 150 miles due East of Jacksonville. The woman in front of me said "Wow, we must be really close to Africa!" :eek: :eek: :eek:

[7continentKaren]

Which reminds me of the multiple passengers on the last cruise of NCL's Wind who actually thought that Fanning Island (Kiribati) was part of Hawaii! AFTER sailing 1000 miles for two days.

We have had bad and excellent table mates. One pair of couples on Westerdam should probably have had their own table since all they wanted to talk about was their friends back home in Florida. And, how much money they had and spent. One bragged that her husband always bought her a piece of jewelry the cost of the cruise as a little memento.

Another couple recently demonstrated the fine art of eating herring, Dutch style: holding the fish up in the air and appearing to swallow it whole. The other couple at our table was so disgusted, we never saw them again at dinner. They said the herring was the last straw. I am a talker but both Dutch members outtalked the whole table. And, she started the conversation one night with "I hope you don't catch what I have!" :p

But the rudest behavior was actually on the part of a waiter. We were on the old Crown Princess at open seating breakfast in the dining room. One man at the table asked if he could have another cup of coffee. The waiter responded. "You want more coffee? Get it yourself!" We were all speechless. Similar rudeness seemed to be the norm and the Maitre d' could not seem to effect change so we collectively all stiffed him for the tip. The waiters were very charming at the dinner table with the folks who were going to tip but awful at breakfast and lunch.

Still, we love to meet new people and most of the time we enjoy our seatmates so we always ask for a large table.

[DedeM]

We were part of a somewhat large group and about 8 of us were seated at a table along with several other people we didn't know.

One of the men got so trashed (drinking all day long and at dinner) that while he was at the table he stood up and yelled across the dining room to some other members of the larger group. The only thing was, none of them were actually there. He was just standing and yelling across peoples' heads. He didn't notice though, but we were embarassed by the yelling. :rolleyes:

Otherwise, we haven't had any unpleasant experiences. :)

[beachdreaming]

During open seating at lunch we had the misfortune of sitting at a table for 8 and got to sit with a female that was VERY insistant that she be given enough "butta" (butter to most of us) for her food. She went on and on about her evening waiter/busboy that didn't provide her with enough of it. She reminded our lunch servers that she required additional "butta" and proceeded to "butta" most of her food items. Oh my goodness....this person had horrible table manners. She picked up the foil wrappers from her "butta" and licked them clean to ensure that no "butta" went to waste. Then she licked her forearms because she had melted "butta" on her arms that had run off her food and down her arms. It was gross and I am glad to say that I didn't ever have to eat with her again. However, our family now fondly asks someone to "pass the butta" when ever we need it at our dinner table.

[pmatch]

It isn't only some Americans that don't know their geography but some Canadians as well!

This didn't happen on a cruise but just a lighthearted story none the less:

We were in London last year and just got out of the tube at Kensington Station, walked out onto the street and my Mom exclaims "Wow is it ever busy here in New York City!" We had a chuckle over that. Maybe it was all the excitement of my Mom's first trip to London!

[hammybee]

However, our family now fondly asks someone to "pass the butta" when ever we need it at our dinner table.

I may have met her husband. He usually axes for extra butta.

[RetiredMustang]

... Do you know the location of the Dutch provinces, the Swiss Kantons, the German Bundesländer? ...



John,

Yes, yes, and ... yes. And the provinces of Italy. I've lived in Baden-Wurttemburg (Swabia), and Campania, and Lazio, and the Home Counties, and have visited Nedersachsen, Reggio Calabria, Northumbria, Kriti, etc. And I know the difference between New South Wales and Queensland, and between Nunavuk and Nova Scotia. And between Guam and Palau or Chuuk or Kosrae. And so do our children; but that's because they have probably lived more geography than others have learned (it's not always bad being a military brat...).

Admittedly, some Americans have a problem finding downtown much less Down East, but I bet there is probably some Geordie out there who thinks LA is next to Tampa, or that Denver is a couple of hours driving from La Guardia.

Dave

[beachdreaming]

I may have met her husband. He usually axes for extra butta.

Oh Hammybee...that made me laugh - I know you know what I'm talking about!!!

[SarasMommy]

, and between Nunavuk and Nova Scotia.

It's actually Nunavut.

[michmike]

hammy - my convicts often come to the office and say "hey boss, can I axe you a question?" I always smile and reply "only if you're very pacific"

for the rest of ya.. don't know as it is really a tablemate thing, more a fellow pax thing .. and some may find it offensive.. but we thoroughly enjoyed the 4 guys from Ohio that we met at trivia onboard a few trips ago.

The ship activities staff asks that you choose a name for your team and these guys called themselves "the nads". Their wives formed a cheerleading squad, chanting "GO Nads! GO Nads!"

We knew right away that they were our kinda crowd.. *L*

[SarasMommy]

Their wives formed a cheerleading squad, chanting "GO Nads! GO Nads!"


I love it!!!!!

[babyher]

hammy - my convicts often come to the office and say "hey boss, can I axe you a question?" I always smile and reply "only if you're very pacific"

for the rest of ya.. don't know as it is really a tablemate thing, more a fellow pax thing .. and some may find it offensive.. but we thoroughly enjoyed the 4 guys from Ohio that we met at trivia onboard a few trips ago.

The ship activities staff asks that you choose a name for your team and these guys called themselves "the nads". Their wives formed a cheerleading squad, chanting "GO Nads! GO Nads!"

We knew right away that they were our kinda crowd.. *L*


When I was in college, the professor was reviewing some material that was going to be on our upcoming exam. When he finished to make sure we all got it and were on the same page he asked the class "Is everything copacetic?"


Like in most classes , some people nodded, some people said yes, some yawned , some didn't say a word *LOL*

Finally the professor asked "Does everyone know what copacetic means?"

A guy in the class (dead serious mind you) chimes in "Yea , thats that place where the girl got killed in the car with Ted Kennedy."

The professor was sitting on the edge of the desk at the time and laughed so hard he slid right on the floor. *LOL*

[iancal]

We have always had good tablemates. One or two were perennial complainers but life is like that. We are very careful not to enter into any discussions regarding politics, religion, or sex. Danger.

[Hobbit]

can place the location of the Australian states?

Australia has states?

Hobbit

[cassie55]

Australia has states?

Hobbit

Australia has 6 states and 2 territories.

[weelv2cruise]

I'm really enjoying this thread! After 10 cruises, DH and I have had some really wonderful tablemates as well as some less then perfect tablemates. But most of the time we have had a fantastic time. We usually ask for a table for 6 to 8. There are only two that really stick out.

1. On our first cruise on Carnival, we had 4 young ladies who sat at the table next to us. They were alway polite and always happy. But, on the fifth evening, they were rather late and one was rather "overly happy". We knew when they entered the dining room because "overly happy" was singing and dancing all the way to the table. When they reached their table instead of sitting down she thanked everyone and asked if we'd like to hear another song. LOL

2. On our most recent cruise, when we arrived at our table for 8 we introduced ourselves to the two couples who were already seated. The first couple were polite, however, when I introduced myself to the other couple, the women introduced herself as, "You aren't going to like me." I was stunned, but you know what? She was right, we didn't!

[Hobbit]

Australia has 6 states and 2 territories.

I was kidding
Hobbit

[cassie55]

I was kidding
Hobbit

Sorry :)

[TKandKK]

...when I introduced myself to the other couple, the women introduced herself as, "You aren't going to like me." I was stunned, but you know what? She was right, we didn't!

LOL...But in a world where everyone overestimates their own worth to such a degree, you do have to appreciate someone who knows themselves that well! ;)

[tomc]

Australia has 6 states.

New South (Prince of) Wales
We Are Not Amused (Victoria)
Queensland (uh, let's not go there)
Northern Territory (odd, for a continent that's very south)
South Australia (home of Kangaroo Island -- go there for kicks)
Western Australia (Great Sandy, Gibson and Great Victoria Deserts)

[Copper10-8]

New South (Prince of) Wales
We Are Not Amused (Victoria)
Queensland (uh, let's not go there)
Northern Territory (odd, for a continent that's very south)
South Australia (home of Kangaroo Island -- go there for kicks)
Western Australia (Great Sandy, Gibson and Great Victoria Deserts)


Don't forget the home of those Tasmanian devils!;)

[Vic The Parrot]

Don't forget the home of those Tasmanian devils!;)



Blaph!! .... Blaph! .... Blaph!! ... Blaph!!



(Sorry ... that's the only way I can think of to do Taz online .... :D )

[fann1sh]

OK, so I'm nitpicking....but don't forget Australian Capital Territory around Canberra.....sort of the equivalent of the District of Columbia in the U.S.

[DedeM]

I love this thread! I just thought of another incident. :D

We were on a 5-day [booze] cruise and were seated with 2 30-something single females and 2 20-somethings sisters, single females. We were two 40-something females.

It was like a lesson in cultural anthropology. We all got along so well at first. The 4 younger ladies all started hanging out at the bars after dinner and meeting men and sharing wild and crazy stories about their previous night.

Then things got a little melodramatic. One sister hooked up with a guy, but her sister was crushing on him first. So the sisters started getting mad at each other.

Then the 30-somethings were getting annoyed at the young sisters because they kept disappearing from the table during dinner and hanging out at other people's tables or bringing the hot guy over to our table for dinner.

Then one night in the middle of dinner, one sister said she was sick and had to go upstairs. She ended up sitting at some guy's table and we all ran into them partying at some bar - they were drunk out of their minds. So one of the 30-somethings gave her the riot act and we never saw the sisters again.

All this on a 5-day cruise! The theatrics and entertainment with these 4 women were 10 times better than any broadway reviews we could have watched on board!

Although, we felt bad for the waiters because we knew they'd get stiffed at the end. We felt like the wise old souls because we had no drama. :cool:

[weelv2cruise]

LOL...But in a world where everyone overestimates their own worth to such a degree, you do have to appreciate someone who knows themselves that well! ;)

LOL ... Ain't it the truth!

[billsrobb]

I believe that the Go nads are from a story called the King of FA.

Robb

[newmexicoNita]

I was solo at a large table when the other five started talking politics; specifically, the "Yellow Press Media." On and on they went about just how horribly the media is slanted and you can't get the truth anywhere, etc, ad nauseum. And, believe me, it was nauseum.

One of them asked me what I thought and I said, "I left my politics on the dock." They said, "I see you don't agree with us." I replied, "May agree, may not agree; I left my politics on the dock." My fear was they would ask what I do and I'd have to say, "News anchor."

After I indicated that this should be a non-politics table, we moved to neutral topics for the rest of the cruise.
Quite an interesting story and comments on your part. My DH was in PR for many years, after leaving the newspaper side of things (he wishes now he could just write a column on occassion) anyway he worked in DC for one of our Presidence for many years, but also chooses not to talk the subject on vacations unless he happens to run into someone who: 1-knows what they are talking about and 2-can talk with out getting passionate; rarely does he find that combination. LOL

[newmexicoNita]

You'd be amazed at the number of people who, upon learning that I'm from Rhode Island, say, "Oh, that's part of New York, right?".
When I reply, "no, it isn't" they invariably respond that "It's part of Massachusetts, then?".
The sad part is that it's usually Americans who are saying this! :eek:

(just in case---Rhode Island is a real, full-fledged State all on it's own.)
Can you imagine what it is like living in New Mexico? LOL

[newmexicoNita]

Miss South Carolina..........wait a minute, is'nt that next to Georgia or Idaho?;) I don't know if I felt sorry for her or appalled? What was she thinking or I guess she wasn't?

[tjcox9]

newmexicoNita

I used to subscribe to New Mexico magazine as I used to visit fairly frequently and always found the section of reports on the misunderstandings within the US of living in New Mexico astounding. Some of the stories were hilarious and I'm sure with the "dumbing down" of the US (OK, so I'm opening myself up here), I would imagine it's only gotten worse.

[BobBeaSea]

newmexicoNita

I used to subscribe to New Mexico magazine as I used to visit fairly frequently and always found the section of reports on the misunderstandings within the US of living in New Mexico astounding. Some of the stories were hilarious and I'm sure with the "dumbing down" of the US (OK, so I'm opening myself up here), I would imagine it's only gotten worse.

Have no fear we are right there with you :) It's unbelievable that 1 out of 6 Americans can't pick out the U.S. is on a world map. The number is about the same for Canadians who haven't got a clue where Canada is. Good thing our countries are as big as they are...otherwise I fear the number would be even higher :D.

[tech]

Worst thing ?

Pick up the check ! :D

[Hobbit]

Sorry :)

My fault, I forgot the emoticon. :rolleyes:
Hobbit

[Golfette]

We've only cruised mainline on Royal Carribbean twice many years ago. In each case, we asked for a table of 10 and had wonderful companions who almost seemed to be chosen just for us.

It was my impression that the people who put the tables together used some discretion in mixing people together at tables. From what I read here, it appears that this is no longer the case. They just throw names together - kids or adults and let the pieces fall where they may. Either that or we had spectacular luck years ago.

On our 1st upcoming HAL cruise, my husband and I asked for a table for 8 - hoping to get to know some congenial people. Those of you who travel HAL regularly with the same idea - how have your experiences been? I realize we can change tables, but do the maitre' d's use any discretion in placing people together, or is it just blind luck (or bad luck)?:confused:

[JimVrhovac]

When people are seated no one on the ship really knows anything about each of the passangers so how can they do that.

Would be kinda nice to have staunch democrats and republicans at the same table. Have had that happen already and blodshead was not nice...

Ruth & Jim

[NoNoNanette]

Would be kinda nice to have staunch democrats and republicans at the same table. Have had that happen already and blodshead was not nice...

Ruth & Jim

OOOOOOHHHHHHH! WHAT FUN!!!!!

Dom and I would dress formally for that! ;) *grinning at the thought*

[Golfette]

Jim, don't ask me how they did it - but each time we were put at tables with people around our own age. There was some mixture, but it was magic. Can't help hoping ...;)

[Ephraim]

We often sit at mixed tables and being a Gay couple that can be quite interesting. The funniest was a woman who was obviously too inebriated. She started asking us about sexual positions during dinner.

Carnival once seated us at a table with four women who thought that two men together must be on the prowl for women. I was too shy at the time to say anything to them. As the cruise got on we became more and more their prey. On the last night one of them was so intoxicated that she thought she was giving me a friendly tap on the shoulder but it was so hard that I almost went flying.

Then there was the lady who was on a no fat diet. The non-fat yogurt had .1% fat and she wouldn't eat it. She wouldn't eat the salmon because it had fat. She was reduced to eating just lettuce and water. It was just sad.

There was the lady who wanted to talk about conspiracy theories relating to 9/11. And while I have no problem if people want to discuss politics (I have a degree in political science, I don't take any of it to heart and I usually have more facts and obviously more theory than most) I really don't believe in most conspiracy theories.

[RuthC]

We often sit at mixed tables and being a Gay couple that can be quite interesting. The funniest was a woman who was obviously too inebriated. She started asking us about sexual positions during dinner.
:eek: :eek: You're not kidding, are you? I wouldn't have known what to say. What did you ? How on earth...? :confused:

[Ephraim]

:eek: :eek: You're not kidding, are you? I wouldn't have known what to say. What did you ? How on earth...? :confused:

Sorry, but I am not kidding. It was formal night on a Princess cruise. They were a lovely British couple that we had met on the beach in Grenada and they invited us to dine with them and their friends. They were really nice and sweet people and we were enjoying the company. But she was drinking too much and she got a bit bold and asked who did what, etc.

I carefully answered by not answering and saying that there are no traditional roles. Her husband was miming the words "I'm sorry, she's drunk" and we were enjoying the company. I realized that it wasn't the kind of question that you normally ask and that she wasn't about to remember the answer in any case.

The funniest part is that after dinner we went out for the champagne pour. All the cruise staff knew us by this time and they walked by to say hello and talk to us. And she started asking them their sexual orientation. We found out a little too much information about some of the cruise staff.They too realized she was drunk. But soon after they suddenly avoided us for the rest of the evening. The next day they came by us to say hello and have a laugh about it. They too, as we did, took it in stride.

If it had been someone who was malicious in their questions, I would have handled it entirely differently (probably gone with shock value), but it was clear that her questions had no malice. (In fact, most Europeans and Canadians just treat us exactly the same as any other couple.)

[GmaPajama]

... On our 1st upcoming HAL cruise, my husband and I asked for a table for 8 - hoping to get to know some congenial people. Those of you who travel HAL regularly with the same idea - how have your experiences been? I realize we can change tables, but do the maitre' d's use any discretion in placing people together, or is it just blind luck (or bad luck)?:confused:
Our tablemate experiences on HAL have been wonderful, even though the seating is supposedly "random". We always request a table for 8, and find that dinner becomes a daily highlight for us. Conversations have been lively and stimulating, with similarities in backgrounds popping up nearly every evening. If a tablemate is planning to dine at the Pinnacle, they will often stop by for a cocktail with the group first - to explain why they won't be joining us that evening. Often, email addresses are exchanged and folks have kept in touch. We've even vacationed later with a couple we dined with on the Westerdam. I have no idea how HAL does the seating arrangements - but they are obviously doing something right!

[tomc]

I guess my worst tablemate (possibly the only one, now that I think of it) was a bridge officer, British, who sat in on us at a large table one night. Aside from being a real jerk, he also made up "facts" about things that I knew just were not true.

Instance: Table mates are made up as the pax are checking in; the pax agents spot the dummies and assign them to bad tables, while lively people get the good tables. They are in touch with the HM by phone while you are being checked in. (oh, puleeezzzzze.)

I forget another instance when I told this jolly raconteur, privately, he was flat-out wrong and making up stories. He stormed off, no longer jolly and nice.

From what I hear he's been pulling this stuff all the time he was employed by HAL.

[RuthC]

Ephraim, thank you so much for elaborating. I do see what you mean by the lack of malice in her question and appreciate that you were able to handle it with aplomb.

[babyher]

My first cruise , my honeymoon with first wife many years ago.

We were talking to a couple of women in the lounge one night. They were in their mid 40s I would say (we were in our early 20s at the time). They were old friends and were taking this cruise to eclebrate both of them recently being single. One of the women was recently divorced. the other one "lucked out" as she referred to it.

She was married for 24 years when her husband announced he wanted a divorce and was leaveing her for some 20 something year old girl. I guess the divorce was getting messy and they were going back and forth over houses and property and all that. Well before the divorce was actually finalized, the husband dropped dead of a heart attack while Uh ....... "being with" his new GF....so the wife ended up getting everything anyway.

Knowing that we were newlyweds , the woman jokingly nudged my wife and said "Just remember that Honey . Widow money is better than divorcee money" :)


Several years later , my wife and I filed for divorce. It was as amicable as possible, but still there are always issues in these matters. On the day it became final we go to court the judge says his legal spiel and then we have to sign these forms that make us single again.

She goes over to the table to sign her papers. The second she finishes signing and puts the pen down, I clutch my chest and slump in the chair faking a heart attack. She looks at me like I was nuts and then immediately remembered the woman on the cruise and she started laughing.

Ironically that night she calls and tells me she just stopped to get cigarettes and also bought a scratch off instant lottery ticket and won 20 dollars. "Deal with that , Buddy" she tells me *LOL*

[RetiredMustang]

It's actually Nunavut.

O.K, guilty as charged! But how many in the U.S. even know what/where the NW Territories are, or that they have recently split? And yes, I know the difference between St. John and St. Rupert.

Dave

[sapper1]

O.K, guilty as charged! But how many in the U.S. even know what/where the NW Territories are, or that they have recently split? And yes, I know the difference between St. John and St. Rupert.

Dave

Do you mean Saint John (never abbreviated) and Prince Rupert?

[tomc]

Before the divorce was actually finalized, the husband dropped dead of a heart attack while, uh ....... "being with" his new GF. 75 percent of men who cardiac while servicing are "roaming."

[SarasMommy]

But how many in the U.S. even know what/where the NW Territories are, or that they have recently split?

Very true - some Canadians don't even know what Nunavut is!

Years ago my English teacher told us about his visit to a friend in California. They got into a discussion about who knew more about the other country's geography so they decided to have a competition - my English teacher was to name as many U.S. states as he could and his friend was to name Canadian provinces/territories. My teacher got up to about 45 and blanked on the rest. In the meantime, his friend came up with two provinces - Montreal and Vancouver!

Do you mean Saint John (never abbreviated) and Prince Rupert?

Beat me to it!

[SarasMommy]

Just thought of another one...

Not a tablemate, but during a lifeboat drill, one very tall and strong-looking man kept mumbling to his wife how unfair it is that during an evacuation women are to board the lifeboats first.

[tomc]

Worst thing a comedian said:

"The Indonesian crew eats things we wouldn't use as bait."

I was embarassed for them, complained vociferously, as did some others, and I understand the remark was dropped from his act.

[TedC]

When people are seated no one on the ship really knows anything about each of the passangers so how can they do that.

Would be kinda nice to have staunch democrats and republicans at the same table. Have had that happen already and blodshead was not nice...

Ruth & Jim

They know your age - and I think that is a factor in assigning folks to a certain table.

[RetiredMustang]

Do you mean Saint John (never abbreviated) and Prince Rupert?

sapper1 (and SarasMommy)

The St. vice Prince was a typical brain vapor on my part, because I knew it's Prince Rupert. (A rather ironic mistake to make by someone trying to show he knows some Canadian geography, wasn't it :D ?)

But, I did not know that Saint John, NB was never abbreviated. Thanks, it's nice to learn something new! It is St. John's, Newfoundland, though, isn't it? Or do I have that wrong as well?

Dave

[sapper1]

sapper1 (and SarasMommy)

The St. vice Prince was a typical brain vapor on my part, because I knew it's Prince Rupert. (A rather ironic mistake to make by someone trying to show he knows some Canadian geography, wasn't it :D ?)

But, I did not know that Saint John, NB was never abbreviated. Thanks, it's nice to learn something new! It is St. John's, Newfoundland, though, isn't it? Or do I have that wrong as well?

Dave
You are absolutely correct!! Confusion avoidance is the reason behind the two distinctly different spellings. A lot of people have wound up in the wrong city.

[bepsf]

I've always organized my own tables and chosen my own tablemates, so there's never been a problem with sitting with perfect (or imperfect)strangers...

...However, there was one instance where one of our dear tablemates made a terribly unfortunate remark about people who happened to be of a certain religion - and unbeknownst to her, one of our other dear friends seated with us at our table (X) is a member of that group. The table grew quiet and we swiftly changed the topic of conversation...

The next am as I was breakfasting on my verandah with some friends, I asked if they had heard the same remark I had from the prior evening - Of course they both had and were shocked to have heard it. We all decided that I should be the one to broach the obligation of an apology to X from our dear friend...

The next evening over cocktails, I whispered in the ear of our friend, "My Dear, I'm afraid you owe X an apology"
"Whatever for?" was the reply.
"I'm afraid that you had a bit of a Mel Gibson moment when you made a comment about (blank) - You know X is, and although I'm certain you didn't mean it the way it sounded, X was rather put off..."

That evening as we were deciding where to sit at our dinner tables, she announced so that the whole group could hear "I'm sitting next to X tonight."

That evening's dinner seemed to happily settle the issue.

[O2B@C]

Very well handled, Brian - tactful, not heavy-handed, and evidently effective. If you aren't a diplomat, you surely could have been! That anecdote provides a great model for a happy medium between being confrontational about an unfortunate remark, and ignoring it.

[tomc]

Brian --

"I'm afraid that you had a bit of a Mel Gibson moment."

Ha! And a good idea for how to post objectionable things without actually saying them.

"She had a Mel Gibson moment."
"He had a Kramer moment."
"She had a Fred Phelps (Westboro Baptist Church) moment."

etc.

[tomc]

This isn't really a bad thing, as such: On a trip (and related in one of my "Live From The ---" threads) we had a woman I called "Send-Back Sarah" for her propensity to send back something at every meal.

Every meal. I even caught her in the Lido one evening when her coffee went cold after a while. Instead of just letting it sit there and draw herself another one, she called a waiter over and said, "This is cold; send it back."

She came down one evening, green from seasickness, ordered a full meal and then sent it back because "I'm too sick to eat."

[mamaofami]

Brian, we must have been posting at the same time since I then went back and deleted my post which was in reference to something else.

I think you did an admirable job of diplomacy. Would love to have you at my table any time!:)