Recent cruisers, I really need your help!

[ekerr19]

I know this sounds silly but, we're leaving soon on our cruise and even though we've been on HAL many times I have a new concern and I'm hoping someone who's been recently will help me.

DH has started going nuts when the TP unrolls from under instead of over the top of the roll. Do the cabin stewards place the TP with it rolling over or under? Do you think I could contact Ships Services and make sure they place it rolling over? I'm just so worried because DH's cruise is going to be ruined if it's rolling from under.

Thanks for your help!

[doone]

That's not silly, Ekerr, I hate when its underneath as well. If memory serves me right, HAL puts it so the TP is over. I say that because I don't remember ever having to correct it, and I would be the first to do so!!!!

[TinaLee]

ROFLMAO! I sincerely hope you're joking about this one!

If your DH's trip will be ruined by this issue, PLEASE feel free to remove the roll and place it in the correct configuration by yourself.

On second thought, I think you SHOULD contact guest services with this request... I'm sure they could use a good laugh too!

TL

[Sage]

What? You mean that you actually get TP in your cabin?:eek: :D

[dakrewser]

I just checked our pictures from our recent cruise and it appears, at least in our cabin on the O'dam, that the TP unrolled over the top -

http://www.maritimematters.com/images/zu-71.jpg

Of course, DW did "pre-tip" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) the cabin Stewart so she may have specified this arrangement!

:rolleyes: -dave

[HeatherInFlorida]

EKerr, I'm so with your DH on this one!!! I have the same problem and hate it when they have it rolling from under. And why should I have to turn it around? Isn't that the cabin steward's job? I mean, what is tipping for?:eek:

This may sound silly to some people, but this is a very real issue and I would get right on Ship's Services about it. There's no reason you can't have it the way you want it. You paid good money for your cruise and you deserve to have things just right.

And tell them to make those little folds to make it pointed. That's another thing that makes me crazy ... when it's just the torn off piece.

[sail7seas]

Dave...


You DW must have tipped VERY well. The photo clearly shows the steward folded it so nicely into the neat triangle edge.


;) ekerr....... :) Will it disturb your DH if the steward folds it that way. Maybe you could speak with the head housekeeper and ask if your rolls of tp could be left 'au natural'.....the way it came out of the package.

[ekerr19]

Thanks to everyone for your help! I'm pretty certain he won't want the little pointy end - so thanks Sail for pointing this out!

Do you think, (given that we've paid thousands of dollars for our cruise!) that it would be a big deal if we fax our request in? They should accomodate us right?

dave - I'm so glad you had a picture of the bathroom! This really helps make me feel better!

[jhannah]

This is a non-issue. The TP comes over the top and they fold it into a point when they service the cabin. I would forget about it, as I'm sure you will find it as you like it.

[Esme]

You've got to be kidding - this has got to be a joke.

I can just see everyone at Ship's Services ROTFLTAO with this request. They get a lot of weird requests but probably never one like this. :rolleyes: :D

[sail7seas]

Thanks to everyone for your help! I'm pretty certain he won't want the little pointy end - so thanks Sail for pointing this out!

Do you think, (given that we've paid thousands of dollars for our cruise!) that it would be a big deal if we fax our request in? They should accomodate us right?

dave - I'm so glad you had a picture of the bathroom! This really helps make me feel better!


Hmmm...You REALLY want to Fax them? That could stir up a whole hornet's nest. They probably will have to call a Board of Directors meeting to determine if one cabin out of thousands can have their TP the way they want it.....

Didn't "Have it your way" used to be the slogan of a major hamburger chain in the advertising. Something about Special Orders Don't Upset Us...... Geez, if we can get our burgers cooked the way we want them, can't we get our TP placed on the roller the way we like it???

Hopefully, your special request won't upset them, too badly.

[shipcafe]

I know this sounds silly but, we're leaving soon on our cruise and even though we've been on HAL many times I have a new concern and I'm hoping someone who's been recently will help me.

DH has started going nuts when the TP unrolls from under instead of over the top of the roll. Do the cabin stewards place the TP with it rolling over or under? Do you think I could contact Ships Services and make sure they place it rolling over? I'm just so worried because DH's cruise is going to be ruined if it's rolling from under.

Thanks for your help!

*rubs eyes to make sure they're still seeing 20/20* :confused:

Doesn't it roll out the same in either direction? :confused:

[HeatherInFlorida]

Gosh, I don't see this as a "non-issue" at all! After all, it's the little things that count.

I'm with Sail ... definitely don't fax it in. Someone might see it and think you're kidding. That would not be a good thing. I would call and speak to a "live person" and explain your issue and you DH's difficulties. Certainly they can see that this is not something to be overlooked.

Your comfort and peace of mind come first. There is no reason you shouldn't have the toilet tissue placed as you want it and you should not have to take the responsibiity of turning it around yourself.

Do check with DH about the point, though, because this can get very dicey with people. Personally I like the point, but he may not. So get that settled.

[hbogart]

My understanding is they are doing away with toilet paper rolls anyway and you are to use the facial tissues which are softer....limited to one sheet per flush though!

[bepsf]

OMG - This is SOOO WROOONG!!!!:eek:


If they don't put the toilet paper to unroll from the bottom, my cruise is going to be RUINED and I'm GONNA SUE SOMEBODY!!!!;)

[AmyinVail]

you've got to be kidding me, right? Did you know that the roll is removable? You could actually *GASP* reverse the roll yourself! I don't think I've ever heard of such a pity concern..... HA, I've GOT to forward this on to friends.......

[HeatherInFlorida]

My understanding is they are doing away with toilet paper rolls anyway and you are to use the facial tissues which are softer....limited to one sheet per flush though!

Now this simply exacerbates the problem. From Dave's picture I can't see any place to put the facial tissues. So how will we access them?

Brian, you want it from the bottom??? It's so difficult to unroll that way! Yet still I see it's often done this way in many hotels. That's why I so understand EKerr's DH's problem. It truly could ruin the trip and if there are others who like it the other way around, it causes even more problems for HAL. Unless they have a question in with our pre-boarding papers to get it straight right up front, I just don't see how we could avoid this becoming a more massive problem.

Brian, you could be right. A lawsuit just might be our only way out.

Good thing you brought it up, EKerr! ... I'll bet it's one of those little things that people simply either forget, or are to embarrassed, to request in advance. So, good for you!!!

[Iggipolka]

I I'm just so worried because DH's cruise is going to be ruined if it's rolling from under.

Thanks for your help!

Thank you for making my day. I really needed a laugh and this certanily fit the bill. :D If all I had to worry about each day was how the toilet paper came off the roll, I'd be a very happy camper.

[Majika]

Wow!

[dakrewser]

If they don't put the toilet paper to unroll from the bottom,


Is that what people mean by "alternative lifestyle"?

:) -dave

[TedC]

On the tissue issue: It depends on which hemisphere you're sailing on - northern (top) or southern (bottom).

[bepsf]

Is that what people mean by "alternative lifestyle"?

:) -dave

Hey Dave - some people want their beds arranged as twins, and others want their beds smooshed together. Nobody judges Smooshers or Twinners and HAL accommodates them, so why not us!?!? Us 'bottom guys' have rights too, you know!!!
:eek: ;)








Where's Lawyersinlove when we need them???
:rolleyes:

[tomc]

I'm just so worried because DH's cruise is going to be ruined if it's rolling from under.
(tomc raises an eyebrow, rolls his eyes, mutters, "this has to be a [censored] joke," thinks about people who scrounge thru garbage dumps looking for something to eat, expresses sorrow for cruises supposedly ruined by any reason, sighs and goes back to work.)

:cool:

[dakrewser]

Hey Dave - some people want their beds arranged as twins, and others want their beds smooshed together. Nobody judges Smooshers or Twinners and HAL accommodates them, so why not us!?!? Us 'bottom guys' have rights too, you know!!!


Brian - you owe me a new keyboard! I lost a whole mouthful of coffee all over mine when I read this!! :rolleyes:

-dave
"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way."

[sail7seas]

Brian......

You win!!! (she says as she is wiping coffee from all over the table, screen, keyboard and lap!!!:D


While you're buying Dave a new keyboard........
You should see what my screen looks like spotted with coffee!!!

[sail7seas]

Dave....




"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way."


Love it!!

[ekerr19]

Where's Lawyersinlove when we need them???
:rolleyes:


:D Now I'm ROTFL!

Oh, and I need a new keyboard too!

[HeatherInFlorida]

....................Us 'bottom guys' have rights too, you know!!!
:eek: ;)


Where's Lawyersinlove when we need them???
:rolleyes:


Well, now, I declare Brian! .....whatever do you mean???:o

[DavidNDC]

I leave on the Zuiderdam on May 14. If the toilet paper is not prepared exactly to my specifications, am I entitled to a $100 a day shipboard credit???

[ekerr19]

Well, I just got off the phone with DH and now he's afraid everyone knows about his TP fetish and will recognize him from our ekerr19 photo while we are on board... I didn't stop to think about that!!!! A Big Oops on my part!

Oh, and the pointy end is out - for sure! He wants to go "au natural" as Sail has suggested... personally, I kind of like having the nice triangular point... :confused:

Oh and just to alliviate has angst - if anyone happens to run into us - please, "mum's the word" on the TP!!! I'd appreciate it...

[sail7seas]

The Compensation Line forms at the gangway. Follow the 'flow of the traffic' down the gangway to the dock. All who request credits (money) will be left ashore! ;) And can wave as the ships sails away!!!


(Unless, of course, you have brought your personal, family attorney with you on your cruise.....Just in case you needed him/her. :rolleyes:


Kidding, folks, just kidding.....don't get all crazy!

[cru1s1ng]

ROFLAO!!! Thanks for the laugh. Shouldn't this be one of the questions they ask when booking? Just like which dinner seating, how you want the beds, etc?

[bobpatj]

LOL, LOL, LOL! This is the funniest thing I've read on this board in a long time.

[HeatherInFlorida]

Tell DH not to worry, EKerr, no one would ever in their wildest dreams recognize him from the photo here!!!

I think people will exercise a little decorum and have the delicacy not to mention a private matter such as this even if they DID recognize him ... which they won't.

But they might recognize you ... hmmmm...well, no one knows the kids so perhaps you could just move about the ship on your own and let DH run around with the kids. Sounds like a plan.

But in the meantime, have we helped you out here? Do you have your next step planned?

[Jim Gallup]

If you do find that you are forced to reverse the roll yourself, please be careful. The technology involved can be very tricky.
Then there is always carpal tunnel syndrome to think about.
Of course, bending at the waist to sit down on those darn toilet seats can be quite risky too.

Didn't I see a "Toilet Paper Rolls for Dummies" book at Barnes and Noble?

My personal recommendation is to cancel the cruise and use the money to buy DH a colostomy. That would solve a multitude of problems................

Have a great cruise, and keep smiling.

[RuthC]

But what if he needs to use a public rest room? :confused:

Wouldn't it be easier just to get a new husband? :rolleyes:

[lipoppop]

I heard that the cabin attendants had to take a special course in oragami in order to learn how to fold the paper into the point? I also heard that because the course is so difficult many of them failed. Therefore Hurdy Gurdy who has many skills sneaks around to the cabins when you are out and makes the points. If he is busy it is done by the ship's surgeon who has also been known to be very precise in the stiches he puts in.

[tomc]

I go on a single share, so I always let my roomie use the toilet first after the steward has been in there. That pointy end hurts! :eek:

[Sinbad37]

eKerr19...Don't forget there is always the HIND LICK maneuver...:eek:

[shipcafe]

Well, I just got off the phone with DH and now he's afraid everyone knows about his TP fetish and will recognize him from our ekerr19 photo while we are on board... I didn't stop to think about that!!!! A Big Oops on my part!

Oh, and the pointy end is out - for sure! He wants to go "au natural" as Sail has suggested... personally, I kind of like having the nice triangular point... :confused:

Oh and just to alliviate has angst - if anyone happens to run into us - please, "mum's the word" on the TP!!! I'd appreciate it...

If someone sees him walking around the ship "au natural" I don't think that toilet paper will be the first thing on their mind - hehehehe

[robntawn]

I hope to high heaven that this thread was meant to be a joke. I cannot believe that anyone would really care about how the toilet paper is placed. If, God forbid, the roll is not to your specifications, how hard is it to remedy the situation.

[jhannah]

This is getting out of hand! (No pun intended.)

[Peter D]

Keep it quiet about the TP...they haven't started charging for it...yet.

[HeatherInFlorida]

This is a joke?????!!!!! MAIS NON!!!!

http://www.checkered-past.com/pics/JerryRob1.jpg

[ekerr19]

If someone sees him walking around the ship "au natural" I don't think that toilet paper will be the first thing on their mind - hehehehe

OMG!!! :eek: Steve - I made the worst faux pas with that post! Duh! I meant he would prefer the TP in its' natural form...

I might just have to hide out onboard the Volendam... we know a few of the crew & officers onboard (they went directly from the final Noordam voyage)... I can only hope they haven't seen this!

[tomc]

There's an old song: "It's only a paper moon." Not sure what kind of paper, what kind of moon.

[bepsf]

Dave & Ekerr--


"Please submit your Input Hardware (Keyboard) Replacement Forms in hard copy and in person to the Hardware Replacement Office located on Deck 2 on the third day prior to the last day before your next cruise. Our technicians will arrange for a convenient in-home hardware replacement the following Tuesday for which you must be present. Early or late responses, service date adjustments and faxed or mailed requests cannot be accepted at this time. We appreciate your patronage and look forward to serving you!"

S7S--

"Please submit your Visual Display Maintenance Forms in hard copy to..."
;)

[bepsf]

Heather--


I'd love to explain further, but my lawyers have advised against it...
:) ;) :D

[obriendan]

The best solution to this earth-shaking problem is to request HAL to mount the TP roll vertically. Then it won't matter. (Of course, some may want it to unroll to the left while others to the right!!? O my, oh my!)

[dakrewser]

I heard that the cabin attendants had to take a special course in oragami in order to learn how to fold the paper into the point?

No, that's on Carnival - but they do shape the end into a different flower every night.....

[Sinbad37]

The above titled member has a hillarious site ...
"World's" Funniest Jokes.

Anyone reading this will ENJOY the site!

[jhannah]

Why don't they just put the TP sheets in a pop-up box like facial tissues? There's only one way they will come out. Issue resolved!
I can't believe we're into the third page of this thread already!!) ;)

[LAFFNVEGAS]

No, that's on Carnival - but they do shape the end into a different flower every night.....

At the Hampton Inns everything from TP to tissues to towels are all accordion pleated:)

I must be really weird growing up ( this came from my Dad) TP paper was to pull out from the bottom and Paper Towels were to roll out from the top. I personally think TP papers tears off easier if pulled off from the bottom.:o

Now you know that pointed thing with the paper on the HAL ships is often a joke with the comedians or in the Debarkation Talk about being able to find the TP paper in the dark:D

It is amazing the topics this board starts talking about but it has made for a humorus thread
Thanks ekerr :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

I dunno. I think it tears easier when rolling from the top. I can't do it from the bottom.

For me we're only on page 2, but I have 40 per page so maybe that's why.

I certainly hope we've been helpful to EKerr with this problem and that DH hasn't come home and ripped her to shreds for ruining his previously spotless reputation!:D

[Sierrachik]

No, that's on Carnival - but they do shape the end into a different flower every night.....

I heard they prefer to make them into stinking benjamins though....;)

[mjmagee]

No this is a REAL issue in my house. DH actually installs the roll coming off the bottom. I can not understand that kind of behavior. Everyone knows that as the roll gets near the end, if it is coming from the bottom, it will just all unroll in a freefall! Anyway, we just returned from the Zuiderdam and they placed the roll with the tissue coming over the top with the little pointy triangle. The point didn't become an issue because it disappeared everyday, twice a day, shortly after I noticed it! Marilyn

[the2ofus]

EKerr, tomc, dave et al, thanks for the best laugh I've had in a while!!

Ekerr, Your DH and you have no need to hide when you board the ship. You will be the toast of the crew and those pax who read these boards! What fun people you must be! I hope someday our paths cross.

Now that I think of, if your kids get a look at this thread, you may be 'toast' to them too! Just remembering how my boys acted when I "did not act my age" or otherwise embarassed them. :D

[ryansmemom]

I would like to offer my professional services to all who are traumatized by this horror and have their cruises ruined by TP placed the wrong way on the roll in their bathrooms. The stress of dealing with this trauma, far from home, on what should be a flawless, blissful vacation can be overwhelming.

I am sure HAL will provide us with accomodations so that we can hold our necessary group therapy meetings on board. We must be on board one of their ships for the necessary desensitization sessions so those afflicted can overcome their trauma, in vivo.

Post Traumatic Stress can scar a person for their entire life. Surely, HAL will respond to those who have been subjected to the horror of Reverse TP Exposure. I feel that we would need 10 days, on a ship, in a warm climate, with daily group sessions and lots of relaxation for those who are traumatized to begin their recovery.

What do you think? ;) ;)

Linda

[tomc]

"...This just in to Mid-Morning News: The crap hit the fan today on Holland America Line's Merdedam when a passenger confronted a cabin steward over how the toilet paper was placed in its holder. The steward had accidentally put it "under" and the passenger wanted it "over." The steward's grasp of English was not that good and, when asked, "Exactly how am I supposed to use it this way!?" the steward smiled and said, "Sir, shove it up your @."

[tw1nk1es]

If the TP is rolling the wrong way, have DH stand on his head while in the bathroom.

[Ziggy7]

The above titled member has a hillarious site ...
"World's" Funniest Jokes.

Anyone reading this will ENJOY the site! hahaha I didnt do anything! Why you naming me LOL your bad!:)

[Ziggy7]

I meant he would prefer the TP in its' natural form...

I might just have to hide out onboard the Volendam... we know a few of the crew & officers onboard (they went directly from the final Noordam voyage)... I can only hope they haven't seen this!ekerr, dont let this bother you, My son-in-law also feels this way, my daughter goes to great pains to make sure every resturant, or public restroom he goes into, she goes first and fixes the paper for him. He has been known to just walk right out in the middle of dinner due to this! Without leaving a tip either!

[Vic The Parrot]

Where's Lawyersinlove when we need them???
:rolleyes:




Do we REALLY need lawyers involved in this???



:rolleyes:

[jhannah]

...my daughter goes to great pains to make sure every resturant, or public restroom he goes into, she goes first and fixes the paper for him. Surely you jest!

[richnorto]

Toilet paper goes on the roller??? My DH sits the new roll, no point, on the empty roll like a shelf....?:cool: I learn something everyday. Explain exactly how this removing/reversing works!! :D

[Iggipolka]

Post Traumatic Stress can scar a person for their entire life. Surely, HAL will respond to those who have been subjected to the horror of Reverse TP Exposure. I feel that we would need 10 days, on a ship, in a warm climate, with daily group sessions and lots of relaxation for those who are traumatized to begin their recovery.

What do you think? ;) ;)

Linda

Linda..you rule.

I also think that there may need to be some self-medication through the judicious use of adult beverages. Just to help manage the trauma symptoms of course.

[tomc]

Surely you jest! Yes, they do; but don't call them "Shirley."

[Bill S]

Imagining an announcement in the HAL daily programs:

"Friends of Mr. Whipple meeting will be held in the aft unisex public restoom
at 1pm each day. Roll call optional."

[the2ofus]

Tomc, those of us who understand French are giggling hysterically!! Merci!

[richnorto]

EKERR, many apologies and many thanks! This is the funniest thread I've read -ever!!! I understand husband hang ups and it sure is fun to make situations light!!! I hope your husband understands, or if not, never sees this thread! Life is meant to live and enjoy! Have a great cruise!!!:)

[dakrewser]

Imagining an announcement in the HAL daily programs:

"Friends of Mr. Whipple meeting will be held in the aft unisex public restoom
at 1pm each day. Roll call optional."

Good thing I read this one at night, or there'd be another coffee-flooded keyboard on my desk! :rolleyes:

-dave

[dakrewser]

There no longer need be a fight when there's an "over the top" TPer rooming with an "under the bottom" fan. The Bathroom Butler (http://www.bathroombutler.com/)® http://www.bathroombutler.com/images/wall300BL.jpg (although shown configured for the really anal-retentive or, should I say over-the-top, Over The Top TPer) allows for dual rolls rolling in dual directions!

If only we could solve the dress code dilemma so easily :cool:

-dave

[tomc]

No, the problem is not solved. One of them has to be over and the other has to be under. Is the Over under and the Under over? Or is the Over over and the Under under?

[TinaLee]

Imagining an announcement in the HAL daily programs:

"Friends of Mr. Whipple meeting will be held in the aft unisex public restoom
at 1pm each day. Roll call optional."

Oh Lordy, just when I thought this had gone as far as it could go! Coffee on the keyboard once again!

Just too too funny!

TinaLee (who, being NEW to the HAL board, was very relieved to find this actually WAS meant as a joke after her original post to this thread)

[HeatherInFlorida]

Actually, Dave, I don't think that will solve the problem. I think it's actually SEEING the paper rolling from under that causes EKerr's DH's reaction.

Linda, an excellent suggestion and many thanks for the offer of your services!!! I think (in memory of who outted the problem) the meetings should be called Friends of EKerr, or FOEK.

That will be easily remembered and easily identifiable on the Daily Program.

[shipcafe]

Just the fact that this topic has made it this long is beyond me . . .

[cru1s1ng]

The views are rolling along.

[TravlnMom]

How many men does it take to change the TP roll???

...... No one knows -- it's never happened.

[swannie]

I personally would insist that the end of the roll be folded into a graceful origami swan. After all, they make towel animals, why not toilet paper animals?

[Bill S]

This is one thread which I hope the folks at HAL and on the ships DON'T read . . . . . . . or put on the bulletin board! :eek:

[dakrewser]

This is one thread which I hope the folks at HAL and on the ships DON'T read . . . . . . . or put on the bulletin board! :eek:

We'll find out when cabin stewards, in addition to asking what time you want tea delivered, ask if you're an "over" or an "under"!

-dave
"It sounds like English, but I can't understand a 'dam' word you're saying."

[tomc]

Yeah, but that has two meanings. Ask the steward, "Do you mean bathroom or bedroom?" If the former, smile; if the latter, no tip.

[HeatherInFlorida]

This is one thread which I hope the folks at HAL and on the ships DON'T read . . . . . . . or put on the bulletin board! :eek:

Aaaaaah ....... why not? I think it will afford a welcome breath of fresh air for them!:D

[bepsf]

Yeah, but that has two meanings. Ask the steward, "Do you mean bathroom or bedroom?" If the former, smile; if the latter, no tip.

You sure about that one Tom???
;)

[ekerr19]

Imagining an announcement in the HAL daily programs:

"Friends of Mr. Whipple meeting will be held in the aft unisex public restoom
at 1pm each day. Roll call optional."

OMG! I am dying here! I remember the Mr. Whipple commercials - the most ridiculous commercial ever... well maybe in my DH's case, not so....;)

[ekerr19]

I think (in memory of who outted the problem) the meetings should be called Friends of EKerr, or FOEK.

That will be easily remembered and easily identifiable on the Daily Program.

This is easily the funniest thing I've seen on these boards in months! We can call them the FOEKERS!!!! :D

[CHRIS3169]

What great humor!!! Thanks everyone, I just loved this thread. Of course I am a closet over the top person! Just the obsessive compulsive in me!!!
I just loved the Mr. Whipple! and the meetings.
Great job everyone,
Chris :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

This is easily the funniest thing I've seen on these boards in months! We can call them the FOEKERS!!!! :D

YES!!! Instead of the usual boring announcement it can simply say:

"MEET THE FOEKERS!!!" at 5 pm in the Crow's Nest.

[tomc]

I am a closet over the top person! Most of us don't use a closet; we have a regular bathroom. :eek:

[trubey]

that's why they call it the "water closet" . . .

[Ziggy7]

Surely you jest!hehehehe yes I jest :) However I do have this father-in-law that must have the seat lid down when he approches the toilet, or he will refuse to use it ;)

[CrabbyHarper]

Gosh! Im impressed! Here at home we use old Sears catalogs and corn cobs. HAL must really be an upscale line.

[Ziggy7]

Gosh! Im impressed! Here at home we use old Sears catalogs and corn cobs. HAL must really be an upscale line.Ok now I have coffee all over my screen and keyboard! hehehehee :)

[dakrewser]

Gosh! Im impressed! Here at home we use old Sears catalogs and corn cobs. HAL must really be an upscale line.

Perhaps we need to explain to you that, aboard ship, the Half Moon Room doesn't mean what you think it might!

:) -dave

[Bill S]

dave: now I just dumped coffee on two keyboards!!!!! :D

[spongerob]

Perhaps this could become another SOE feature.

Here's how it's done on those other lines:

Carnival - Hey, you should be happy you're getting TP at all! The brand we use is called "John Wayne". It's rough, it's tough, and doesn't take any crap.

RCI - Pages from the latest catalogs are pre-torn for you, and smoothed to avoid those nasty crinkles, in the port-o-lets found within convenient walking distance of passenger cabins.

Princess - takes the idea of pampering their passengers to extremes, and provides Depends to all passengers, since you can't find the friggin' restrooms on a Grand-class ship anyway.

Celebrity - X thoughfully provides an en suite restroom butler who will take care of unrolling the required amount of product, applying the product in the manner prescribed, and disposing of it properly. Royal treatment, indeed!

Cunard - We are British and wouldn't dare discuss such things.

[RevNeal]

Oh, GOD, I'm dying.
I just finished mopping off my display, I've sprayed my beverage of choice all over it, laughing so hard.

:D

TP should ALWAYS dispense from the bottom ... that way the cat doesn't unroll the whole thing while I'm away.

:D

Of course, since my cat isn't aboard ... loading the roll to dispense from the top is fine, too. Besides, it's easier to make that little triangle shape in the last square of the TP roll if it's mounted to dispense from the top.

[TinaLee]

Perhaps this could become another SOE feature.

Here's how it's done on those other lines:

Carnival - Hey, you should be happy you're getting TP at all! The brand we use is called "John Wayne". It's rough, it's tough, and doesn't take any crap.

RCI - Pages from the latest catalogs are pre-torn for you, and smoothed to avoid those nasty crinkles, in the port-o-lets found within convenient walking distance of passenger cabins.

Princess - takes the idea of pampering their passengers to extremes, and provides Depends to all passengers, since you can't find the friggin' restrooms on a Grand-class ship anyway.

Celebrity - X thoughfully provides an en suite restroom butler who will take care of unrolling the required amount of product, applying the product in the manner prescribed, and disposing of it properly. Royal treatment, indeed!

Cunard - We are British and wouldn't dare discuss such things.

Rob - coffee thru the nose is no laughing matter - but the Cunard and Celebrity descriptions put me over the top! "spot on" old chap!

TinaLee

[HeatherInFlorida]

Oh, GOD, I'm dying.
I just finished mopping off my display, I've sprayed my beverage of choice all over it, laughing so hard.

:D

TP should ALWAYS dispense from the bottom ... that way the cat doesn't unroll the whole thing while I'm away.

:D

Of course, since my cat isn't aboard ... loading the roll to dispense from the top is fine, too. Besides, it's easier to make that little triangle shape in the last square of the TP roll if it's mounted to dispense from the top.

I was wondering where you were, Greg!:D

[jhannah]

Celebrity - X thoughfully provides an en suite restroom butler who will take care of unrolling the required amount of product, applying the product in the manner prescribed, and disposing of it properly. Royal treatment, indeed! One should expect no less when on the throne!

[spongerob]

Chalk up another keyboard to this thread...good one, Jim.

[jhannah]

Spongerob ... OT, so e-mail me please.

[dakrewser]

Of course, since my cat isn't aboard ...


What?!? HAL won't let you take your cat with you??? Sue them!!!

-dave

Actually, I was going to make a really off-color remark referencing the subjects of that other thread about chartered cruises, but decided to leave well enough alone.:rolleyes:

[bepsf]

As you all know, I've only cruised a few times...

Where exactly IS the Poop Deck?
:rolleyes:

[Ziggy7]

I heard Princess makes little Origami critters at the end of tp instead of triangles :)

[Pudgesmom]

I need help with a related problem here

I TOLD my husband to go before we left the house. Not heeding my advice, and the roll factor not to his liking, he hoped to be off first at the first port. Much to our dismay, THE SHIP'S SHORE EXCURSION'S WERE LET OFF FIRST!

By this point, we really needed to go, and but had to wait for a tender ticket. Do you think HAL could reimburse us for the cost of our cruise, or at least pay the dry cleaning bill?

Beth

[dakrewser]

By this point, we really needed to go, and but had to wait for a tender ticket.

Is a tender ticket what you use when the TP runs out?

[dakrewser]

As you all know, I've only cruised a few times...

Where exactly IS the Poop Deck?

Wherever the infants congregate. Too bad Beth's DH didn't know about it....

[HeatherInFlorida]

Well, I think the tender ticket ought to do it;) .

Beth, by all means! And if they don't reimburse you, SUE 'em!!!!

[Sierrachik]

Is a tender ticket what you use when the TP runs out?

Are the tickets more tender than Mr. Whipple's brand?!? LOL :)

[Emmie]

Are the tickets more tender than Mr. Whipple's brand?!? LOL :)

Ladies and gentlemen, please, PLEASE don't squeeze the tender tickets!;)

Okay, I thankfully moved my beverage when I started reading this thread, but I am now giggling so hard I have gotten the hiccups...and I think I ahve sprained a rib. If I have, who is going to pay for my ACE bandages.....and in what direction should I unroll and wrap them?:D

::gigg...HIC!:: oh dear....:eek:

Emmie

[karowd2]

That is not toilet paper!

That is really the fax machine in a S Suite!

The toilet paper comes in a little blue and white HAL box that you place in a warmer before use!

[Ziggy7]

Ladies and gentlemen, please, PLEASE don't squeeze the tender tickets!;)

Okay, I thankfully moved my beverage when I started reading this thread, but I am now giggling so hard I have gotten the hiccups...and I think I ahve sprained a rib. If I have, who is going to pay for my ACE bandages.....and in what direction should I unroll and wrap them?:D

::gigg...HIC!:: oh dear....:eek:

EmmieI believe you should contact ship services for all reimbursements, I believe it's in the small print , no wait .... you did get the insurance right ????? :)

[Ziggy7]

That is not toilet paper!

That is really the fax machine in a S Suite!

The toilet paper comes in a little blue and white HAL box that you place in a warmer before use!
Ok now you went and done it, I have to confess, my DH wont even use tp, he will only use those wipes thingies, we actually have a microwave in our bathroom so he can warm them up before using. For our next cruise i'm thinking of taking my daughters "Easy Bake Oven" as it weights less and is less costly to replace. Anyone ever try this method ??????? :)

[dakrewser]

Ok now you went and done it, I have to confess, my DH wont even use tp, he will only use those wipes thingies, we actually have a microwave in our bathroom so he can warm them up before using. For our next cruise i'm thinking of taking my daughters "Easy Bake Oven" as it weights less and is less costly to replace. Anyone ever try this method ??????? :)

Hmm...

Your DH has to warm his wipes, Laura's walks around au naturel - methinks we're learning way more than we ever wanted to in this thread!

:) -dave

[Ziggy7]

Think room service will warm them ??? After reading this I dont know! :)

Room Service(RS): ''Morny, Ruin sorbees''
Guest : ''Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service''
RS : ''Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to oder sunteen??''
Guest : ''Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs''
RS : ''Ow July den?''
Guest : ''What??''
RS : ''Ow July den?...pry,boy,pooch?''
Guest : ''Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled
please.''
RS : ''Ow July dee baychem...crease?''
Guest : ''Crisp will be fine''
RS : ''Hokay. An San tos?''
Guest : ''What?''
RS : ''San tos. July San tos?''
Guest : ''I don't think so''
RS : ''No? Judo one toes??''
Guest : ''I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes' means.''
RS : ''Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?''
Guest : ''English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.''
RS : ''We bother?''
Guest : ''No..just put the bother on the side.''
RS : ''Wad?''
Guest : ''I mean butter...just put it on the side.''
RS : ''Copy?''
Guest : ''Sorry?''
RS : ''Copy...tea...mill?''
Guest : ''Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.''
RS : ''One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye??'
Guest : ''Whatever you say''
RS : ''Tendjewberrymud''
Guest : ''You're welcome''

[trubey]

Top or bottom, I can never reach the darn paper anyway so I take it off the little roller thingy and leave it on the shelf where the sink is.

lane

[mechcc]

WOW!! this is a good one. I just started reading CC a few days ago and DW who has been reading for a few months had to fill me in on some of the background here. But I must say I haven't laughed this much in 40 years. After 20 years in the Army and 19 years Civil Service I'm just happy to here there will be TP available. No need to buy me a new keyboard, the office will get me a new one and pay for it with your tax $$$$.


hcc

[dakrewser]

Think room service will warm them ??? After reading this I dont know! :)

Debbie, you need a cruise now. Not in May, now. There's some last minute fares available on the O'dam for next weekend......

:) -dave

[jhannah]

Ziggy7, you're spot on! I love it!

[tomc]

Ziggy7, I'm jealous!

[HeatherInFlorida]

Oh, Ziggy!!!! Tares rawlig don ma fece!!!!

[Vicar]

Oh Man this is hilarious.

I saw this thread and kind of paid it no mind just by the title.

Thank you Heather for telling me about it.

Now let me get some of the things I read here straight:

Some people are Tops and some are Bottoms and some don't care , Hmmmmmm no wonder those reporters found all that nasty stuff all over the Veendam *LOL*

Heather is getting a group together called the FOEKERRs.

Heather can my mother join this group?, and if so would she be known as Mother FOEKERR.

Now I also see a few of you are looking for legal compensation for ruined keyboards and monitors.

I think you people are missing the real issue here. I think that dangerous point on the end of the toilet paper roll that the steward has so recklessly left there, is a class action suit waiting to happen.

I know if my delicate little tushy got impaled on that rapier sharp piece of TP, I wouldn't get off that potty, until I heard from HAL legal services.

Oh well, different things are important to different cruisers , thats why there are so many different cruiselines.


EKERR,

Thanks, for starting this whole thing, I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! *LOL* :) :) :)

[ekerr19]

Ziggy!!!!

OMG - I have never laughed so hard in my life!!! Did you make this up? It's so perfect!!!!

[HeatherInFlorida]

Vicar, took you long enough!!! You are too funny ... I knew this was your kind of thread. Isn't Laura great?!! We needed a really happy thread and who better to provide it than Laura and her dysfunctional DH:p !! Such a shame about his phobia ... I hope they get it ironed out:o ...or at the very least, on a roll.

Yes, your mother can come to the meetings of the Foekerrs if she has the same difficulty. It will, of course, be an anonymous group. But whatever do you mean by your question:confused:
You must also check out: Cruise Critic Message Boards - Damp ships? (http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=141197) since I have to guide you around the boards now. BTW, Sail was missing you! It's good to "see" you.

[Bill S]

Ziggy - that is too much!!!!!!! Co-workers are looking in my office wondering what in the he## I am laughing out loud about!!!!!! That piece is a keeper!!! Copying it to my pda!!!:D

[ExpCruiser]

Looking at this thread gives me yet another reason not to sail on HAL! The other cruise lines have someone come to the bathroom and unroll and tear off paper for you as needed!

[ekerr19]

like a bad penny.... low and behold. ;)

LOL, ExpCruiser - that's a good one.

[Ziggy7]

Debbie, you need a cruise now. Not in May, now. There's some last minute fares available on the O'dam for next weekend......

:) -daveGeeeeeee Dave, how nice of you to pay and send me on a cruise :) Please make sure I get one of those rare blue wallet thingys too please :) What a PAL!:)

[Ziggy7]

Ziggy7, I'm jealous!Why, was it that I will be going on Princess and getting little origami thingys on my tp or that Dave has offered to send me on the ODam this weekend ????? :p

[ExpCruiser]

LOL, ExpCruiser - that's a good one.

Thoought you all needed to know I had a sense of humor if not an appreciation for all the same things you do. Like a bad penny, Hm-m-m

[Ziggy7]

Oh, Ziggy!!!! Tares rawlig don ma fece!!!! HUH ?????

[jhannah]

Such a shame about his phobia ... I hope they get it ironed out:o So now are you propogating the idea that HAL should iron their TP before our use? Really! :rolleyes: Stewart works hard enough as it is!

[tomc]

Ziggy7 wrote: Why, was it that I will be going on Princess and getting little origami thingys on my tp or that Dave has offered to send me on the ODam this weekend ????? Because you wrote a funnier conversation that I could ever have come up with.

[Ziggy7]

Ziggy!!!!

OMG - I have never laughed so hard in my life!!! Did you make this up? It's so perfect!!!! Moi ?????? No way, I got it from someone who kept it from the old boards :) I was laughing so hard I could hardly copy and paste to here heheheehe :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

HUH ?????

Ziggy, you're kidding, right? "Tears rolling down my face" ? But you knew, right:o ?

Jim, you are perfectly right! I stand corrected. What was I thinking?;)

[Ziggy7]

Ziggy7 wrote: Because you wrote a funnier conversation that I could ever have come up with.
Moi ?????? No way, I got it from someone who kept it from the old boards :) I was laughing so hard I could hardly copy and paste to here heheheehe :)

Nope your still the winner on this board :)

[Ziggy7]

Ziggy, you're kidding, right? "Tears rolling down my face" ? But you knew, right:o ?

Jim, you are perfectly right! I stand corrected. What was I thinking?;) hahahaha I cant believe you answered that hehehehee :p

[HeatherInFlorida]

hahahaha I cant believe you answered that hehehehee :p

You got me, Ziggy!!! I KNEW you were kidding! But I'm such a nice person:)

[dakrewser]

Moi ?????? No way, I got it from someone who kept it from the old boards :) I was laughing so hard I could hardly copy and paste to here heheheehe

You mean you plagiarized it?? Oh, the shame of it all. No free cruise for you, young lady!:rolleyes:

[Ziggy7]

You got me, Ziggy!!! I KNEW you were kidding! But I'm such a nice person:)hehehee well I figured one of "you" would answer it hehehee :)

[Ziggy7]

You mean you plagiarized it?? Oh, the shame of it all. No free cruise for you, young lady!:rolleyes:No No No ..... I didnt plagiarized it, I got it from the person that did! Oh yeah the cruise is onnnnnnnnnnnn hehehehe :)

[RevNeal]

Ziggy ... thank you SO much ... you made my day! :D
I was laugh so hard I had trouble reading the thing. My cat was frightened and my dog as standing there, whining, like I was in pain or hurting or something. :)

Side-splitting humor is GREAT!

[ekerr19]

I had the same problem Bill S did - I read it at work and my boss is just staring into my office like I'm on drugs or something... :D

[dakrewser]

Ziggy ... thank you SO much ... you made my day! :D
I was laugh so hard I had trouble reading the thing. My cat was frightened and my dog as standing there, whining, like I was in pain or hurting or something. :)

Side-splitting humor is GREAT!

Now if you could just incorporate it into your sermon this Sunday.....

:) -dave

[Sierrachik]

Looking at this thread gives me yet another reason not to sail on HAL! The other cruise lines have someone come to the bathroom and unroll and tear off paper for you as needed!

Do they have someone to wipe your "brow" too? LOL ;)

[Peggy Sue]

boy, don't check the boards for a few days and look at what I missed!!

What fun to read through this post!! Excellent...I bet we hear some of these one lines from the comedians on future cruises!!

As for me .. over the top please..with the point if you please .. We've booked a princess cruise, and they have a questionnaire on line that you fill out with your personal preferences ...so your cabin will be just the way you want in...and you know, the tp question was there :D honest...I wouldn't lie about something as important as this topic :rolleyes:

[ryansmemom]

OK, it's been a few days. Pinky and Perky were here. This is priceless.

I have another issue, I would like to add to the discussion. Reading this thread brought back memories of a trauma I suffer every cruise. It is a real problem. I need support.

When I am at home, the TP is easily reached with my right hand. It has become a habit. It is right there. Rolling right off the top.

On board, it is on the LEFT. Trauma!! I reach with my right hand, No TP!! :D I actually have to think about it and it is emotionally jarring. :confused:

Do any of you share my pain????

Linda :confused: :D

Remember, just because I'm a shrink does't mean I can't have my hang ups too. I'm only human.

[CanadianMAG]

Thanks for making me laugh. I had a rotton day and I honestly cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard

Ziggy you crack me up!!!

[ctguy001]

In order for the folded wings of tissue to remain folded under, thus forming the pointed "hotel pleat" of the tissue, it must rest against a solid surface (ie: the remainder of the roll). If the tissue were to be underhung, it would not have a solid support, thereby unfolding, resulting in an unsightly 'rat's ears' appearance. I'm sure that most of the Hotel Management's Schools' physicists have already addressed the problem of forward vs. reverse dangle and have instructed their cabin attendant graduates in the proper mounting method.
If not, turn the #*@"!+~ roll over. Unless you're travelling in a cabin with 12 diarrhetic dwarves, that shouldn't be a problem more than once or twice during the cruise. :D [B]

[charliewesley]

Unless you're travelling in a cabin with 12 diarrhetic dwarves, :eek:

One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese.....:D

[dakrewser]

When I am at home, the TP is easily reached with my right hand. It has become a habit. It is right there. Rolling right off the top.

On board, it is on the LEFT. Trauma!! I reach with my right hand, No TP!! :D I actually have to think about it and it is emotionally jarring.

Easy to fix, Linda - just turn around and face the wall. Very carefully, of course :eek:

[Landlubber54]

I have an entirely different problem here. My wife and I are going on our first cruise this summer, and I have been telling her what a great source of information I have found at CC. How do I explain that one of the longest threads running this week concerns which way the TP unrolls!:eek:


BTW, I'm over the top...:rolleyes:

[Ziggy7]

I have an entirely different problem here. My wife and I are going on our first cruise this summer, and I have been telling her what a great source of information I have found at CC. How do I explain that one of the longest threads running this week concerns which way the TP unrolls!:eek:


BTW, I'm over the top...:rolleyes: Just tell her that was the "Only on a need to know bases" thread :) And The one and only soap opera thread on here hehehe :)
Welcome to the boards Landlubber54! Your one of us now hehehehe :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

Too funny. Just when I thought maybe this thread was all rolled out:rolleyes: ... it gets funny again!

Linda, priceless! But yet so true! I can't tell you how many times I reach to the left (in my case) and it's to the right. It is emotionally jarring!!! If, on top of that, it's rolling from under -- well, the damage is irrepairable I should think.

Ctguy, I was so relieved to read your scientific explanation of the problem and its resolve. Thank you!

It's really heartening to find on these pages that so many of us share this problem. As a result I feel confident that HAL will be addressing the issue (tissue?) in short order.

[dakrewser]

This thread has been funny, but I woke up this morning realizing that it masks a serious problem. While it's true that the quality of TP on HAL ships is better than on most others, it still isn't up to the standard of what we use at home (Cottenelle Ultra). So I'm wondering what the line's policy is on bringing aboard your own TP. If it's allowed, should I buy the 12-pack and carry it on the plane? Wrap it (or box it) and check it as baggage? Take a chance on finding some at a store near the dock?

Is there room to store a 12-pack in my cabin? Is there a charge if I take a roll into a public rest room (a "wipage" charge?)?

Does anyone know where my supply might be replenished in foreign ports?

[tomc]

I think --and this is not one of my jokes-- there is a "ship quality" TP that is used specially to match the system onboard. Just be less energetic and wash the tips of your fingers a little bit more when you are done.

[Ziggy7]

This thread has been funny, but I woke up this morning realizing that it masks a serious problem. While it's true that the quality of TP on HAL ships is better than on most others, it still isn't up to the standard of what we use at home (Cottenelle Ultra). So I'm wondering what the line's policy is on bringing aboard your own TP. If it's allowed, should I buy the 12-pack and carry it on the plane? Wrap it (or box it) and check it as baggage? Take a chance on finding some at a store near the dock?

Is there room to store a 12-pack in my cabin? Is there a charge if I take a roll into a public rest room (a "wipage" charge?)?

Does anyone know where my supply might be replenished in foreign ports?
Wow Dave, I am so glad you brought this up! My tushy only likes Kleenex Cottonelle, so I bring my own tp. At first I would take the ships tp off then put mine on but daily my tp would disappear and the ships would reappear (I think the cabin steward was helping himself to my gold mine), and a 12 pks takes up so much room in my luggage (although I did have extra room going home for my shopping) so what I do now to save room and of course I paid for the ships tp so now I use it, here's what you do. Roll out what you need, then take your own tp and wrap it around the ships tp so you still get the softness and save on your tp :)

[dakrewser]

So Tom, are you saying it's all Ziggy's fault when the plumbing gets backed up?

[HeatherInFlorida]

Oh dear ... sad to say we part company yet again. I'm a Charmin Ultra kind of gal and recently found they now make these rolls not only in double rolls, but "Giant" and finally "Mega" rolls which they even admit will not fit on a standard holder and give you a special attachment to accommodate the size. Enough on that.

The good news is that when you bring your own tp onboard, they will now give you an allowance, or rather a credit, on your shipboard account. They pro-rate it depending on your usage and you do have to go to the Front Desk daily and divulge how many times you would have used the tp in the public restrooms. This is on an honor basis and I find it quite fair and equitable and up to the level of HAL's new SOE.

Ziggy, I have absolutely no idea what you said!:confused:

[sail7seas]

We have truly sunk to the "bottom".....:eek:

[Ziggy7]

Ziggy, I have absolutely no idea what you said!:confused: Sheesh Heather, ya know, it's like how we carry our own little seat covers and little travel rolls of tp in our purses!


And by the way! How come they dont have seat covers in the cabin bathrooms! Now that would be SOE !

[HeatherInFlorida]

Sheesh Heather, ya know, it's like how we carry our own little seat covers and little travel rolls of tp in our purses!

We Do???

We have truly sunk to the "bottom".....:eek:
Sail, 'ya think?:o

[LAFFNVEGAS]

Oh dear ... sad to say we part company yet again. I'm a Charmin Ultra kind of gal and recently found they now make these rolls not only in double rolls, but "Giant" and finally "Mega" rolls which they even admit will not fit on a standard holder and give you a special attachment to accommodate the size.

Heather, here's one we totally agree one. Charmin Ultra for me too:D

I like the idea of taking with then having more room in the luggage to bringthings you have bought on the cruise home. Some how I doubt DH will go for this idea though:eek: Not unless it gets us a BIG Ship Board Credit.:)

[Bill S]

I think tomc is correct: the HAL tp is designed for the ships' delicate plumbing and waste treatment systems-seriously. As much as we like Charmin Ultra, too, we "rough it" while on HAL ships.

[HeatherInFlorida]

I think tomc is correct: the HAL tp is designed for the ships' delicate plumbing and waste treatment systems-seriously. As much as we like Charmin Ultra, too, we "rough it" while on HAL ships.

Makes sense to me, but way too serious!!!

Bill S, poor you!!! "Roughing" it out with HAL's TP!!! Boo hoo!!!


http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:CPaWth5CTloJ:www.kvpt.org/0to5/images/home/crying_baby.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.kvpt.org/0to5/images/home/crying_baby.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.kvpt.org/0to5/&h=227&w=160&sz=6&tbnid=CPaWth5CTloJ:&tbnh=102&tbnw=72&start=34&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrying%2Bbaby%26start%3D20%26hl%3Den% 26lr%3D%26sa%3DN)http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:MV6TscvX3w8J:www.fotosearch.com/comp/BCP/BCP115/BCP015-17.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/BCP/BCP115/BCP015-17.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fotosearch.com/BCP115/bcp015-17/&h=199&w=300&sz=15&tbnid=MV6TscvX3w8J:&tbnh=73&tbnw=110&start=38&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrying%2Bbaby%26start%3D20%26hl%3Den% 26lr%3D%26sa%3DN)http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:LiGMeOCm01IJ:screamingbaby0.tripod.co m/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/crying_baby01_300_border.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://screamingbaby0.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/crying_baby01_300_border.jpg&imgrefurl=http://screamingbaby0.tripod.com/&h=220&w=320&sz=8&tbnid=LiGMeOCm01IJ:&tbnh=77&tbnw=112&start=57&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrying%2Bbaby%26start%3D40%26hl%3Den% 26lr%3D%26sa%3DN)

[TravlnMom]

How many women with PMS does it take to change the TP roll.
.
.
6.
.
.

Why 6???
.
.
IT JUST DOES, OK?!?!?

[Peggy Sue]

http://mailcenter2.comcast.net/wmc/v/wm/422124C5000C3AD600004A6B2207002953C8CB04040E9F?cmd =GetImg&no=39&uid=90251&sid=c0&name=005d01c51a84$321ddbb0$6500a8c0@ritarg4vp2c4p3 ........

[Bill S]

OK Heather: where did you get my baby pictures?????????????:p

OUCH!!!!! :eek:

Yeah, life is hard on a HAL cruise!;)

[ekerr19]

LOL, ExpCruiser - that's a good one.

Like a bad penny, Hm-m-m

It was meant as a tongue-in-cheek joke... :)

Seriously, you've been a pretty good sport here lately - I know I've given you a bit of grief!

[trubey]

Where we live we have only primitive septic tank systems. Although ALL the locally available paper disintegrates immediately upon hitting water, every loo I've ever used in Europe has a wastebasket with a lid for paper. You get used to it. Makes sense, to me.

lane

[Ziggy7]

Where we live we have only primitive septic tank systems. Although ALL the locally available paper disintegrates immediately upon hitting water, every loo I've ever used in Europe has a wastebasket with a lid for paper. You get used to it. Makes sense, to me.

laneNow that is way more information then I ever wanted to know !!! eeewwwwwwwww :)

[FCOWHER]

Since this thread is about the bathroom--I could care less about the way the TP unrolls but my cruise is ruined if the cabin steward forgets to put the seat up on the potty. It would kill my entire cruise to be forced bend over, possibly hurting my back, and lift up the seat. Joe V.


Serenade of the Seas 12/31/05
Zuiderdam 4/23/05
RCI - 2 times
Princess - 3 times
QE2 - 1 time
Royal Majesty - 1 time
Carnival - 1 time

[ExpCruiser]

From Ekerr19 :

Seriously, you've been a pretty good sport here lately - I know I've given you a bit of grief!

A bit of Grief? You all drummed me out of the corp, but as you state, I turned up again like a bad penny! Have you noticed that (with great restraint) I haven't posted on the worst cruising mistake thread ... that taking HAL was mine? :D

[ekerr19]

From Ekerr19 :

Seriously, you've been a pretty good sport here lately - I know I've given you a bit of grief!

You all drummed me out of the corp,

Oh, that's harsh! LOL!!! Especially being that you're still here! (Joking - ok folks!)

[HeatherInFlorida]

I have to add that I think ExpCruiser is being one heck of a good sport ... and showing tremendous restraint;) . Good for you, Exp!

"drummed out of the corp" indeed:D ... as if anyone could do that. It's merely a brief initiation!!

[Ziggy7]

:) http://community.webshots.com/photo/285666057/285667469fbTzfz heheeh over or under ????

[tomc]

heheeh over or under ???? "Beats me," said the masochist, as he whipped up something to eat.

[HeatherInFlorida]

:) http://community.webshots.com/photo/285666057/285667469fbTzfz heheeh over or under ????

Ouch!!! Ziggy! How'd you do that picture??? Did you take that on your last HAL cruise??? They must have improved the septic system!

[ekerr19]

I love that photo ziggy! Hopefully it's not one from your "personal" collection! :D

[jhannah]

Gives a whole new meaning to "industrial strength" doesn't it?

[Landlubber54]

Hey Ziggy7:

"Grate" photo!

Can we say that we've jumped the shark on this thread?:rolleyes:

[spongerob]

Nice to see this thread still rolling.

[jhannah]

Nice to see this thread still rolling. In your opinion, over or under? :D

[dakrewser]

Oh, it's WAY over the top!

:rolleyes: -dave

[HeatherInFlorida]

And I've noticed that EKerr is continuing on her theme of "under" or "over" with her "Is Hal Over-rated" thread;) . So it really all comes down to TP.

[ekerr19]

And I've noticed that EKerr is continuing on her theme of "under" or "over" with her "Is Hal Over-rated" thread;) . So it really all comes down to TP.

Hah, Hah, LOL!!! Yes, and wait til you see my next thread! :D

[Bill S]

Judging from the length and breadth of this thread, it looks like we've really gotten to the bottom of this issue! :eek:

[HeatherInFlorida]

Judging from the length and breadth of this thread, it looks like we've really gotten to the bottom of this issue! :eek:

Bill, I think you misspoke! Didn't you mean the bottom of this Tissue???!!! :D

[SantaAna,CA]

It's okay, I checked it out...it's a special cruise for people who go are concerned about these things....I think it goes through the Bermuda Triangle....

[cru1s1ng]

It's okay, I checked it out...it's a special cruise for people who go are concerned about these things....I think it goes through the Bermuda Triangle....

LOL. MY 3/31/05 maasdam cruise will spend a considerable amount of time in the bermuda triangle (something not in the brochure). I wish I could imbed a .wav file, so I could add the theme from 'the twilight zone.'

[mechcc]

I couldn't help but notice that when RevNeal posted his photos from his most recent cruise on the "O" he had a shot of the TP. It was over the top and pointed just the way I like it.

hcc

[ExpCruiser]

Heather: "I have to add that I think ExpCruiser is being one heck of a good sport ... and showing tremendous restraint;) . Good for you, Exp!"

Oh-h-h-h Heather, you're making me blush:o . Now thinking back to my original appearance on this site, have you seen the posting from SailOnH2O about his recent Maasdam cruise?? Review the thread and see all the (same old) supporters. Hence my belief that a # of posters are HAL employees!!!

[Landlubber54]

Looks like we've reached the end of this roll...er, thread...

and I'm not going to be the one to replace it!

[Sueseb]

Tomc -- thanks for some perspective on this subject.

[HeatherInFlorida]

Looks like we've reached the end of this roll...er, thread...

and I'm not going to be the one to replace it!

Maybe not .... but you were the one to roll it back up to the top!

[pins5]

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/105118.jpgWould this help??

[HeatherInFlorida]

That is such a hysterical picture!!! Is that for real do you think? Soooo funny!! Thanks for posting:D

[trubey]

That was such a great picture, I had to go to their web site. Now I'm going to be one of those obnoxious people who sends silly e-mails to anybody they ever met. My favorite one was . . . (oops, better not say).

susan.

[TeresaJenkins]

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/105118.jpgWould this help??

Dang! I need this in my 4 teenage daughters bathroom. This and about 10 tampon dispensers would cover their needs just fine! :D

[pins5]

Sure its real.;) No one in my house knows how to put a new roll of TP on the holder so I figure this way I have it covered at all times. As you can see....I have it rolling under and over.....I aim to please!:D

[Ziggy7]

hahaha and just when I thought we were at the end of the roll! Too funny! :)

[ekerr19]

That picture is hysterical! I will have to make certain DH sees it. ;)

Ziggy - I thought the thread had pretty much played it's final "roll" too, LOL!

Or, laughing and coughing out loud on the hardwoodfloor!

[Renorita]

Hi everyone, I know I am late getting in on this, but since I am a compulsive over the top person regarding this tissue issue, thought I would start an Original Poem. Anyone can add on to this: :)

Think of the Theme from the "Beverly Hillbillies"

Now listen to the story of a man named Whipple--
Who boasted that Charmin would catch every dribble

You can pull from the bottom or pull from the top--
But better get it all, or call the steward for a mop
(to clean the mess that is, very carefully)

But since we can't use Charmin, but the ships tisssue instead
Our poor tushes must suffer each time we use the head.

So Mr. Whipple needs to come up with something new for HAL
That will cater to our bums and satisfy the rules as well
(soft and sturdy that is, very biodegradable)

As far as the Pointy thing, that certainly needs to go
Or someone will sue poor HAL for injuring their little hole.

The next thing you know, this all will get out of hand (no pun intended)
And we will all end up in Court, defending our rear end.
(with modesty of course, very delicately)

OMG, I think of have been around some of you too long already! :eek:

Okay, who next??????
Oh I can tell I have been around some of you too long already! :D


Next Anyone?????

[Renorita]

Hi everyone, I know I am late getting in on this, but since I am a compulsive over the top person regarding this tissue issue, thought I would start an Original Poem. Anyone can add on to this: :)

Think of the Theme from the "Beverly Hillbillies"

Now listen to the story of a man named Whipple--
Who boasted that Charmin would catch every dribble

You can pull from the bottom or pull from the top--
But better get it all, or call the steward for a mop
(to clean the mess that is, very carefully)

But since we can't use Charmin, but the ships tissue instead
Our poor tushes must suffer each time we use the head.

So Mr. Whipple needs to come up with something new for HAL
That will cater to our bums and satisfy the rules as well
(soft and sturdy that is, very biodegradable)

As far as the Pointy thing, that certainly needs to go
Or someone will sue poor HAL for injuring their little hole.

The next thing you know, this all will get out of hand (no pun intended)
And we will all end up in Court, defending our rear end.
(with modesty of course, very delicately)

OMG, I think of have been around some of you too long already! :eek:

Okay, who next??????


Next Anyone?????

[Ziggy7]

hahahaaha hope that hardwood floor needs a good buffing hehehehehe :)

[Renorita]

Sorry I didn't mean to post twice, was trying to edit my mistakes!

[Ziggy7]

hehehe thats a funny poem!

Today in our newpaper was this ad! Perfect for the subject!

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents each

[ekerr19]

Today in our newpaper was this ad! Perfect for the subject!

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents each

Ziggy -

Are you sure it wasn't "Soft & Gentle Bath Tissues"??????

I don't think I've ever seen an ad refer so specifically to such a private area! :eek:

[bepsf]

I'm done w/ toilet paper - I'm getting one of these!

http://www.brondell.com/pix/400-t.gif
http://www.brondell.com/Swash-600-400.php4

[HeatherInFlorida]

Oh, too funny, Brian! Great new pic of you!

But I was looking at the Swash and misread this: "Dual self-cleaning wash wands". I thought it said "Dual self-cleaning wash hands". :D Ha ha ha ... so I thought we were getting back into the other matter of hygiene.

I did puzzle somewhat over how this all was going to take place:eek:


http://www.lpf.com/adventure/japan/j-images/set1/wash-toilet.gif

[obriendan]

I've avoided this thread for several days. However, perhaps the attached is appropriate in this day and age:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=6312&stc=1

You'd be amazed that you only get 643,000 hits when you google "toilet papar photo"!

[bepsf]

Oh, too funny, Brian! Great new pic of you!

http://www.lpf.com/adventure/japan/j-images/set1/wash-toilet.gif

Thanks, Heather!

BTW - I like the pic you attached. It reminds me of the toilets in Japanese bathrooms - they use the water filling the tank in the basin/lid to wash their hands - rather clever water-saving device!

[dakrewser]

If it's bathrooms you like, we actually detoured 20 miles or so to visit this one -

http://www.slrobertson.com/images/new-zealand/north-island/northland/hundertwasser-5-b.jpg

-dave

[obriendan]

I want to get that guy to lay some tile in my bathroom!

[SantaAna,CA]

sorry, that looks like a cartoon...or something out of the Twilight Zone!!! :eek:

Jane

[richnorto]

You went 20 miles out of your way!!:eek: But the paper is rolled the wrong way!!:rolleyes: Wasted trip I guess!!:D

[jhannah]

If it's bathrooms you like, we actually detoured 20 miles or so to visit this one - And the TP is definitely UNDER!

[HeatherInFlorida]

And the TP is definitely UNDER!

Yup, wrong way! This would have been an immediate turn-around for me:D

[dakrewser]

And the TP is definitely UNDER!

Well, the bathroom is down UNDER too - it's in New Zealand (http://www.fndc.govt.nz/Toilets/ihunderwasser.asp)!

Evidently TP unrolls in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere.

Dan, I think you'd worry a bit after you got the estimate - they were talking NZ$800,000.00 for maintenance and renovation!:eek:

[jhannah]

Well, the bathroom is down UNDER too - it's in New Zealand (http://www.fndc.govt.nz/Toilets/ihunderwasser.asp)!
Well, that explains it. However, I still don't think I could use it since the end is blunt and not folded into a triangle.

[dakrewser]

Well, that explains it. However, I still don't think I could use it since the end is blunt and not folded into a triangle.

ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... my tongue is all bloody from biting it so much. Please, don't dangle straight lines like that, especially in a "family friendly" zone! :eek:

[Landlubber54]

If I hadn't returned the thread to the top, we would have missed out on all the new contributions to bathroom humor (and technology) shared by pins5, Renorita, you, bepsf and dakrewser. :D

[Sweetdreams]

OMG found this thread by chance....was not looking for BR stuff....but I almost needed a towel to dry my eyes..LOL so hard....you people are a hoot!!! You'll get a laugh out of this-what came to mind when I read throught this thread was grrrrrreat I will not have to change a TP roll for 11 days!!! I have been the one bestowed in my household to change all rolls in 3 BR. It never fails-it's always me...even buy Charmin Ultra Mega Rolls with new thigamajiger to allow mega rolls to adapt to you fixture but I still am the one to change them without fail. We were out this weekend & I had to even change the roll at a department store & the restaurant BR!!!! I don't care how they hang them as long as I'm not the one doing it! Wow! HAL should add this feature to the signature features of each stateroom.

[ekerr19]

Well, since I had the honor of starting this bit of humor - I just wanted to let you know that it all turned out well in the END, lol!

Thanks for all participation - just goes to show that HAL cruisers DO know how to have a little bit of fun!

:D

[bas7]

TP from the bottom? Well Ollie, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into. This is absolutely horrific!

Best,

Bruce

Volendam, December 16th, 2004
Zuiderdam, April 9th, 2005

[imsulin]

As soon as I read this thread, I rushed to add this bit of essential information to my "MUST HAVES WHILE CRUISING" file, which I faithfully peruse and update. I remember well my days on the Mauritania and the Olympic, when my chief complaint was that the corncobs had not been appropriately softened. Not to mention the mess that the ink from the newspapers invariably made! Thanks to modern technology, we now can cruise in comfort as far as "B.R." issues are concerned, and I - for one - being first and formost a "First-class" cruiser, am willing to tip a modest few hundred dollars to insure that my TP is turned the way I like it, and that the "pointed triangle" is always present and visible!

[sue117]

I can't STAND the point...just the thought of someone else TOUCHING the toilet paper that is gonna touch MY tush.....heck no! Who knows where their fingers have been! If it's in a point I have to tear off the point and throw it away! :)
Sue117

[bas7]

I can't remember laughing so hard, and so much from a thread. In fact, I've unfortunately developed this anticipatory response, that whenever I have to go to the bathroom now, I break out in hysterical laughter. It has become quite awkward excusing myself from dinner tables.

I mean,

Best,

Bruce

[pins5]

Yikes!!!:p http://images.kodakgallery.com/photos1189/2/74/50/45/52/6/652455074203_0_ALB.jpg

[serendipity1499]

What a "refreshing" thread this is..Can't understand how I missed it bfore...Have been getting very tired of reading the same old posts about the "Dawn" on the NCL site...LOL

[HeatherInFlorida]

I was so happy to see this wonderful thread back up on top again! It made me remember the fun we had all those days that it just went on and on and on. I need to thank Sweetdreams for resurrecting it.

The board needed a little fun again and you can't beat this thread for that:D

[Landlubber54]

I can't believe we still haven't gotten to the bottom of this!:rolleyes:

[RevNeal]

What a hoot!
Thanks for bringing this back up to the top!

[trubey]

I can't believe we still haven't gotten to the bottom of this!:rolleyes:

No, it's just behind us. susan.

[ekerr19]

Well, in the spirit of the "Blender" thread - her's another fun one! :D

[CruiseBumm]

ROFLMAO! I sincerely hope you're joking about this one!

If your DH's trip will be ruined by this issue, PLEASE feel free to remove the roll and place it in the correct configuration by yourself.

On second thought, I think you SHOULD contact guest services with this request... I'm sure they could use a good laugh too!

TL

I agree this sounds funny, but I supose it could be a real concern. Some individuals are very restictive in their rutine and any deviation is upsetting.

[CruiseBumm]

To further punnish the issue, sing this to the tune of the them somg from the old TV show Branded.

"Standed left on the toilet bowl. What do you do when your stranded and there's nothing on the Roll?" :D

[Sunshine91]

Laura - Now I know Sonny's secret. I'll be sure to mention it next summer. ;)

[hammybee]

Gives a whole new meaning to "As you Wish" cruising.

[MissWindyCity]

Oh my! This just confirms why I am single! :D

[diveoz]

Oh my! This just confirms why I am single! :D

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Trust me, living with one's own neuroces
is hard enough, but getting used to and accepting a spouses is a test of patience! Then when you think you have that handled, you bring kids into the mix, and well, all bets are off!

Us 'bottom guys' have rights too, you know!!!
:eek: ;)



TFFW!:D

This has got to be the funniest thread I've read on any BBS - EVER!

[Happy HALer]

I checked with guest Services and they detailed the T.P. arrangement as such...

Suites- Customer preference

Balconies- Over the top

Oceanview- From the bottom

Inside- Corn cob only

Hope this helps make your cruise all that it can be.