Help with Dress Code on Oosterdam

[haileysqueek]

My husband and I are going on a 7 night Mexican Riviera cruise on the Oosterdam. We really need some advice about the dress code. Neither of us have much in the way of formal clothes. I don't mind dressing up, but my husband hates it. He's not very happy that he is going to have to dress up on his vacation, and he wishes to dress as casual as possible. What exactly will he need to wear so that he won't break the dress code on all three levels of the dress code (casual, informal, and formal.)

Also, I think I have appropriate clothing for casual and informal nights, but I'm worried about the formal nights. I read somewhere that the suggested formal wear for women is a gown. I defintely do not own any gowns. What could I wear that would be less dressy and still be acceptable. I would prefer not to have to rent something.

My husband would like to know how well inforced the dress codes are. Like what would happen if he showed up for dinner on a casual night wearing jeans and a t-shirt? Please don't take offense to that question. From reading this board I can see that most of you support the dress code. I just have to ask.

Thanks in advance for your advice. I really need it!

[sail7seas]

You certainly can wear a knee length cocktail dress on Formal Night. Some women wear crepe or silk or satin dress palazzo or such pants with sparkly tops.


Please ask your DH to refrain from wearing jeans and t shirt to the dining room in the evening. Hopefully, the Maitre d' would ask him to return to his cabin to dress appropriately or suggest he may wish to eat in Lido.

It really is in very bad taste and it does effect others whether he thinks so or not. Others have gone to the trouble to dress appropriately and they could easily be insulted he didn't bother.

JMHO.....You know already that there are many of us here who just cannot say okay to ignoring what everyone else is trying to respect.

He can wear a dark suit, dress shirt and tie. He does not need a tuxedo. Some say sports jacket. That is not formal.

If he is so opposed to abiding by what he knows will be expected of him, if you have not yet made final payment or there is no penalty to cancelling, you might wish to think about a different style vacation.

I do not mean to be impolite to you. You asked. This is JMHO...

[sail7seas]

My husband would like to know how well inforced the dress codes are. Like what would happen if he showed up for dinner on a casual night wearing jeans and a t-shirt?



This is the part that I think bothered me and prompted my response. It is saying to me that he doesn't care about what anyone expects of him or what everyone is respectfully participating in as long as he won't get thrown out. I don't know if I have read more into it than what was meant but ....

I 'hear' ......who cares what they request. I want to do what I want to do.

[richnorto]

I don't have much experience here except what I have read and been told, but... A suit (tux not required) should be fine on formal nights. If he's anything like my DH, it will come off immediately after dinner - guidelines for rest of evening aside. If some are dressing casual for Lido dining, all will not be dressed formally all evening. A Jacket (tie not required with the right choice of shirt) should be fine for informal. Jeans are not supposed to be worn in the Dining room, but if he has comfortable khakis or similar - he should be just as comfortable and he can wear a golf type shirt. If you don't have any formal gowns, check with your friends to see if they have something you like and can borrow. It doesn't make a lot of sense to buy gowns if you don't wear them out at home.:) Hope this helps a little.

[haileysqueek]

Sail7Seas- If you knew my husband, I don't think you would be offended. He has pretty much lived his whole life in a casual California beach town. He simply doesn't understand that people could possibly be offended by casual dress on a vacation. It's not really "......who cares what they request. I want to do what I want to do." It's more like, "No one would really mind if I dressed for comfort, right?" Hope that makes sense. Oh, and thanks for the advice!

[sail7seas]

Sail7Seas- If you knew my husband, I don't think you would be offended. He has pretty much lived his whole life in a casual California beach town. He simply doesn't understand that people could possibly be offended by casual dress on a vacation. It's not really "......who cares what they request. I want to do what I want to do." It's more like, "No one would really mind if I dressed for comfort, right?" Hope that makes sense. Oh, and thanks for the advice!

I understand what you are saying. I'm from the 'proper' Northeast. Guess that is something of the difference. :)

[garydm]

We just returned from 15 days on the Statendam and the dress code was not enforced. On formal nights, there were men in short sleeve sport shirts with no jacket. On informal, we saw jeans and T shirts and even shorts on casual night. When we were on Crystal Harmony a few months ago, the dining room manager very politely pulled non compliant folks aside and asked that they return to their cabin to change (there were very few). Saw no evidence of this on Statendam.

I go along with the program but do not like dressing up on vacation-I have done it in business for too many years. I bring a dark business suit for formal nights and a pair of gray slacks and lightweight blue blazer for informal. On casual nights I wear khakis or Dockers with a polo or sport shirt. When we were on Crystal and Silversea I did bring my tux as most men wore them on formal evenings.

In reality, Dockers are more comfortable than jeans to me, so I just leave the blue jeans at home. You can wear them on informal nights also with a jacket, so no big deal.

Or, if you don't want to dress up a bit, go to the Lido for dinner or use room service. Life is full of choices and so is a HAL cruise.

I, for one, would like for HAL to either enforce the dress code, or abandon it for something like "resort casual."

Gary

[swannie]

Haileysqueak, I went through a similar dilemma on my first HAL cruise which was last summer. I spent a bit of time and got lots of great advice on another section of this board devoted to cruisewear(?) is that the name of it? Devoted entirely to what to wear and when. Personally, I went on Ebay and bought a few used gowns for almost nothing. 2 of them actually fit and looked decent, and I had a cocktail dress I was able to wear as well. My boyfriend, like your husband, is not a big dresser, loves to be comfortable, downright sloppy sometimes :-), but surprisingly, he was able to rise to the occasion and get into the spirit of it. He bought a nice black suit and tie and some nice dress shirts, and that whole feeling of "stepping out" for the evening all dolled up was a nice change for us...I think seeing me looking my best for a change instead of the usual sweats and flannel PJs was a bit of an inspiration too....if I do say so myself ;-)

[richnorto]

It's really not that difficult - Now if I could get DH to exchange the flip flops for dress shoes when wearing a suit:D . (sorry to say , I'm close to serious! He wears those things YEAR ROUND!

[swannie]

Hee Hee, it's Teva's and shorts year round for mine!

[dakrewser]

I'm a Californian. I go to work each morning in my pjs and a robe (the robe is so I don't scare the fedex man if he shows up early). I always get dressed before lunch, but sometimes lunch isn't until 3 PM!

When I want to take a vacation and not get dressed, I go to
Santa Cruz or some other beach town, or else I head to Truckee and the mountains. But I don't go on a cruise and I certainly wouldn't go on a HAL cruise.

Your husband wouldn't go the the beach au naturel, would he? THe locals expect him to wear a bathing suit, so he does. It's the same aboard ship.

No one wili mind if he wears jeans. No one will mind if he goes to the fining room. Just don't do them both at the same time. There are optios for dinner - the Lido restaurant is always casual, less so than the dining room. You can also order the DR menu served in your cabin thru room service.

For future reference, though, you might want to consider Norwegian Cruise Lines, or possibly Princess, which have less stringent dress codes and more dining venues...

[richnorto]

Dakrewser, I think that is a little harsh! The OP wants to cruise and has booked HAL. Many people - off work hours - hate to wear suits! It feels like going to work. Most people will "bite the bullet" and don the suit. No need to send them on another line as you might well miss the opportunity to make a new friend:) . Play nice now!:D

[peaches from georgia]

I don't think dakrewser was being harsh at all. He was just telling it like it is. There are vacations for all lifestyles. Why not think ahead, educate yourself on what you are selecting and then pick what is right for you? It's just common sense. ;)

[MetathoraX]

For your DH who does not like to dress up, let him know the "proper attire" for the formal dining room, then after dinner let him go change into something comfortable. I am a big fan of dressing to expectations for dinner in the formal dining room, but I am on vacation so after dinner I will definitely change. I do not agree with being dressed up all night.

[mechcc]

I do understand your problem. I have a brother-in-law who thinks a white T shirt and jeans are the only cloths made. That's all he wears in the dead of wenter and works in the oil fields in the plain states.

Anyway DW and I are taking my Sister and her underdreased DH on a cruise April 06. He has agreed to dress appropratly simply because that's what will make my sister happy. The real problem is he doesn't own anything other than white T shirts and jeans. Therefore, I am buying him two suits and two sprts jackets along with some Dockers and shirts. He may not wear them any other time but knowing his is willing to wear them to please my sister makes it worth while for me.

As others have already said, if your DH can't bring himself to compermise there are other places to eat and the food is very good. He has the right to enjoy his vacation just as the rest of us have the right to enjoy ours. There are different ways to enjoy "such is life".

I hope you and your DH can come to an agreement on this and make your cruise a good one for yourselves and the other passangers.

Good Luck!!!!

hcc

[bookworm0911]

We just returned from 15 days on the Statendam and the dress code was not enforced. On formal nights, there were men in short sleeve sport shirts with no jacket. On informal, we saw jeans and T shirts and even shorts on casual night. When we were on Crystal Harmony a few months ago, the dining room manager very politely pulled non compliant folks aside and asked that they return to their cabin to change (there were very few). Saw no evidence of this on Statendam.

Gary
It's a shame, but I think pretty darn obvious that HAL started going after a different market with the Zuidy several years ago and what many loyal HAL cruisers forecast is coming true.

You can't market some ships one way (casual, anything goes, wear what you want) and other ships another way- more traditional (dress codes, formality, class). Evidently HAL has made a decision they will disband all attempts at keeping the more upscale market on all the ships. Very disappointing. :(

[Sigtau21]

I am going on Alaskan Cruise in May and I wont be bring as many shorts and t-shirts. I will be bring more long sleeve shirts and stuff like that for the colder wheather. My concern is that I wont have enough room in my luggage. So I am renting a tuxedo(combo with white jacket). For informal nights, is it ok to wear a shirt and tie? Or should I cram a suit coat in my suit case? Or would it be OK to wear the white tuxedo jacket on the informal night? Thoughts or suggestions?

[Pudgesmom]

haileysqueek,

If your husband really does not want to dress up, you can always order a full dinner to your cabin for a romantic meal.

Also, your husband might want to consider the climate you're traveling to. I find that the higher humidities and temperatures of the more tropical countries make jeans an often uncomfortable choice. Cotton (khaki or docker type) slacks for men will be more breathable and comfortable in this climate.

Beth :)

[DNCButler]

"When I want to take a vacation and not get dressed, I go to
Santa Cruz or some other beach town, or else I head to Truckee and the mountains. But I don't go on a cruise and I certainly wouldn't go on a HAL cruise.

Your husband wouldn't go the the beach au naturel, would he? THe locals expect him to wear a bathing suit, so he does. It's the same aboard ship."

Excellent response! I struggle with this all the time with some of my customers. You booked the cruise, you need to follow the dress code recommendations set forth. If you want to wear jeans and t-shirts there are other places that you can go on vacation and do that, a cruise (esp. a HAL cruise) just is not the vacation that matches that. And no that's not a slam at the original poster, I think she put out a very nice post. It's kind of like closing that barn door now that the horse is already out. Now that the cruise is already booked, now what and I think she still has a few nice options on board. Talk to the head waiter and he will also be able to give suggestions.

As for whom ever posted about using E-Bay, I totally agree! I went looking for a suit for my son who has now outgrown all his cruise clothes and found a tux for him for $20 (much less than a suit) and it just needed slight alterations. It's in great shape too and can be let out to fit him for the next few years. The company I got it through was called monkeyworks or something like that. Highly recommend them.

[fsalzer]

My husband and I are going on a 7 night Mexican Riviera cruise on the Oosterdam. We really need some advice about the dress code. Neither of us have much in the way of formal clothes. I don't mind dressing up, but my husband hates it.

I'm apparently similar to your DH. DW and I just got back (3/5/05) from Oosterdam's Mexican Riviera cruise. One of my retirement benefits is not wearing a jacket or coat unless it's cold. :) We dressed "resort casual" and ate our evening meals on the lido deck at a time that suited us. We found it quiet with a pleasant ambiance. We enjoy good food but are not "foodies" and found the food on the lido excellent.

We enjoy meeting people so we ate breakfast in the dining room at tables for six and participated in trivia and such. We didn't at all regret not eating our evening meals in the dining room.

Enjoy your cruise!

Fred

[Time2sail]

There are many really nice consignment shops in our area with evening attire at give away prices. Then, if you don't want to keep the formal wear, have it drycleaned and put it back in consignment when you return from your cruise.

The tux rental onboard for $85.00 is a super bargain as well.

Even if you never dressup in formals for at home events this cruise will make it more special to dress in formal attire for your spouse. Wow! will probably said a few times and think of the pictures you can show your family and friends.

Have a super cruise:)

[doone]

The Lido is an excellent choice if you don't want to go to the dining room. For me, part of the cruise experience is dressing up and going to the dining room.

[HeatherInFlorida]

It really is about booking the vacation that fits you. If your DH really hates dressing formally that much, a HAL cruise is really wrong for you. There are cruises like Windjammer (very casual) or even Windstar (which suggests casually elegant dress) where the dress code is eased.

But on HAL there is a dress code and it should be followed for the sake of all the passengers who enjoy that as part of their entire cruise experience. When people don't follow the guidelines, it really does ruin it for the rest of us.

So there's always the option of alternative dining in the Lido or room service. If your DH is adamant, that might be the way for you to go. But if he's open to giving it a whirl, here's what we do.

My DH (like yours) hates to get dressed up in everyday life. But over our many cruises he's gotten used to it. He does not wear a tux. On formal nights he wears a dark suit (and tie of course) and looks fabulous. On informal nights he wears lighter pants with a sportsjacket and an open shirt.

As far as you are concerned, you do not need a gown. Do you have a Chico's in your area? My entire formal wardrobe is built around the basic Chico's black Traveler's dress. They are long. You can roll them up in a ball and toss them in your suitcase and it won't break the bank. I bring a couple of those and I have a few jackets to change the look. And jewelry caps it off. My formalwear takes up less room than all my other clothes.

For informal nights I often wear the Chico's Traveler's pants with kind of a dressy top ... hard to describe. But informal is really simple ... the kind of thing you might wear out for a nice dinner.

So good luck! And I hope you have a wonderful cruise.

[AmyinVail]

I think formal wear is completely unfair for the men. Women can wear a cute, cocktail dress and accessorize to the nines, or throw on a long skirt and jazzy top - and we're still quite comfy. Men, on the other hand, have to deal with neck ties and restraining coat jackets. The men going with us aren't excited about bringing a suit (little bro actually has to go buy one), but they're doing it - it's only a couple of nights! I will add that if someone doesn't dress accordingly, it truly wouldn't ruin my meal (I'm not easily affected by what others do), but I do think an effort is appropriate with this cruise line. I just wanted to add my sympathy to the men as I think they get the raw end of the formal wear deal!

[ekerr19]

My husband likes to dress for dinner - he might be the minority, but I don't think so. ;)

[dakrewser]

Dakrewser, I think that is a little harsh! The OP wants to cruise and has booked HAL. Many people - off work hours - hate to wear suits! It feels like going to work. Most people will "bite the bullet" and don the suit. No need to send them on another line as you might well miss the opportunity to make a new friend:) . Play nice now!:D

Not at all harsh - I think people should feel comfortable on their vacations. But that doesn't mean you can wear shorts and tank-tops to visit Vatican City. There are other dining options on HAL if the ship is the most important consideration. There are other ships with more lenient dress codes if that is the most important consideration.

All I'm asking is that people choose appropriate dress for the place they'll be going. e.g., if you're visiting Austin, TX and take a trip to the beach at Hippy Hollow, don't complain that the people are all naked!

Amy: "Men, on the other hand, have to deal with neck ties and restraining coat jackets." There's nothing "restraining" about a jacket that fits and it isn't the tie but a too snug collar that men complain about. Getting clothing that actually fits (rather than continuing to buy the same sizes that fit in high school) are the real secret...

:) -dave

[TYMAN]

I also enjoy "dressing up" for dinner..but it will not "ruin it for me" if you don't.

[Randyk47]

Excellent point Dave. Having owned a mens shop in the past I can say you are right on target. Properly fitting shirts, coats, pants, etc., are not uncomfortable. Personally I'm looking forward to the 3 formal nights on our upcoming cruise. The tux is cleaned, the shirts are pressed, and ties/vest/studs are all packed and ready to go! I wear and have worn suits for nearly my whole 38 years of work and wouldn't have it any other way. That's me and understand others don't want to or have to do that. However, I also stay away from cruises that are too casual because I like "dressing up" for a cruise.

[sail7seas]

I think formal wear is completely unfair for the men. Women can wear a cute, cocktail dress and accessorize to the nines, or throw on a long skirt and jazzy top - and we're still quite comfy. Men, on the other hand, have to deal with neck ties and restraining coat jackets. The men going with us aren't excited about bringing a suit (little bro actually has to go buy one), but they're doing it - it's only a couple of nights! I will add that if someone doesn't dress accordingly, it truly wouldn't ruin my meal (I'm not easily affected by what others do), but I do think an effort is appropriate with this cruise line. I just wanted to add my sympathy to the men as I think they get the raw end of the formal wear deal!

How many men stuff their feet into high heels and have to attempt getting around a rocking ship in those shoes? How many men wear the sort of 'body shapers' many/most ladies wear with their formal clothes?

A man puts on a pair of slacks ( be it tuxedo or not), a shirt (most women I know wear shirts/blouses at one time or another), a tie (big deal---there are corporate women who wore ties or tie scrarves around their necks), a jacket??? Do you know many women who never wear a jacket (either a skirt or slack suit ?) .......what's the big deal to feel sorry for a man dressed in a suit?

A tuxedo is simply a suit with a stripe down the leg of the trouser and satin lapels. If tied correctly (or fitted correctly if a clip on)a bow tie is not big deal IMO

[TYMAN]

Settle down...don't get your "body shapers" in a wad. :D

[michmike]

Hailey - just by way of reassurance.... there are plenty of us who cruise on HAL that are not quite as rigid as many of the folks you will find on these boards (esp as it pertains to issues of dress code and certain other topics)

For starters - 60% of the ship is either basic outside or inside cabins, so not everyone is in a suite.... not all of us cruise multiple times a year and have dozens of cruises under our belts.... not all of us bring out own wine (although certain degenerates among us will smuggle on a bottle or two of liquor)...

I tell you all of that, not as a criticism of any of those practices, but rather as a reality check... many of the frequent posters here do all of the above and they take their cruise experience very seriously and they have certain notions of how things ought to be... and that is their right..

BUT - you'll find plenty of us aboard who are laid back, pretty accepting of all but the most outrageous behavior, and will manage just fine if hubby shows up in the dining room on formal nite in a sport coat and tie and then loses it afer dinner... That doesn't mean he should show up in jeans and a t-shirt.. you need to make a modest effort to go with the flow..but no need to obsess about it

We've been on 4 HAL cruises over the past 3 yrs and have met any number of very nice folks and haven't yet felt that anyone was looking down their nose at us or ready to call the fashion police.. but hey.. maybe we were drunk and oblivious... *L*

Go .. Enjoy.. and take some of what you find here with a grain of salt.

(and I will now take cover in my bunker)

[Time2sail]

Hailey - just by way of reassurance.... there are plenty of us who cruise on HAL that are not quite as rigid as many of the folks you will find on these boards (esp as it pertains to issues of dress code and certain other topics)

For starters - 60% of the ship is either basic outside or inside cabins, so not everyone is in a suite.... not all of us cruise multiple times a year and have dozens of cruises under our belts.... not all of us bring out own wine (although certain degenerates among us will smuggle on a bottle or two of liquor)...

I tell you all of that, not as a criticism of any of those practices, but rather as a reality check... many of the frequent posters here do all of the above and they take their cruise experience very seriously and they have certain notions of how things ought to be... and that is their right..

BUT - you'll find plenty of us aboard who are laid back, pretty accepting of all but the most outrageous behavior, and will manage just fine if hubby shows up in the dining room on formal nite in a sport coat and tie and then loses it afer dinner... That doesn't mean he should show up in jeans and a t-shirt.. you need to make a modest effort to go with the flow..but no need to obsess about it

We've been on 4 HAL cruises over the past 3 yrs and have met any number of very nice folks and haven't yet felt that anyone was looking down their nose at us or ready to call the fashion police.. but hey.. maybe we were drunk and oblivious... *L*

Go .. Enjoy.. and take some of what you find here with a grain of salt.

(and I will now take cover in my bunker)

There were sincere, honest questions asked by the OP and the answers were sincere, honest answers. OP was not trying to annoy and I don't think any responder felt that way. She now has a better idea of the dress code and how to prepare for the cruise. I did not see her obsessing or trying to avoid the issue and I hope she has a wonderful time on her cruise. The suggestions were hopefully helpful--that is why she asked.:)

[TYMAN]

Mitchmike....very nicely said.

[ekerr19]

Settle down...don't get your "body shapers" in a wad. :D

"Settle down?" - are you just helping Amy out here or do you object that someone made a very rational point?

Personally, I think women's attire is much more involved then men's.. while I gave up wearing pantyhose years ago and will not wear them under any circumstance - many women I know still wear them.

Try wearing a pair of hose and some 3" heeled sandals, then you can come back and tell us to "settle down"... :D

[cathryn58]

Hey Dave, I thought you looked familiar.

Being from Truckee, a casual mountain town even we understand that dressing for the occasion can make the occasion more special. Even though we don't necessarily want (or need) to dress (up) everyday here; when we cruise we get a kick out of dressing up and seeing and enjoying others who have done the same. I think haileysqueek is being sensitive to her husband's everyday persona.

Present it like a game, to dress up not to do what is expected but to be a different exciting "on vacation" persona with an open mind that is open to new (exciting) experiences. And to please you, haileysqueek... Somewhere inside you knew there would be a dress-up component to a cruise -- remember Love Boat? No doubt he will rise to the occasion for you, I'm sure.

Also, new dockers (or even (new) black jeans ) can look pretty good with the right jacket. Or how about that Jerry Garcia tie? He'll be great.

Cathy

[HeatherInFlorida]

................. so not everyone is in a suite.... not all of us cruise multiple times a year and have dozens of cruises under our belts....



michmike, your point is well taken ... honestly. And your post is not out of line except it makes a number of presumptions that simply aren't true.

As an example ... I have never been in a suite (except to visit), if we're lucky we cruise once a year and we've missed some years, and we've cruised about 13 times in our lives and we're not young sprouts.

Yet I still believe that if there is a dress code on a ship it is nicer to adhere to it. That's not to say that someone won't "get away" with a sport coat on formal night.

But it most certainly is to say that just because no one looks at you cross eyed or in horror when you do so does not mean they think it is "okay" ... it only means they have good manners and are being polite and overlooking it.

And it is, quite simply, good manners to dress according to the dress code.

[michmike]

time 2 - and at least 3 responders didn't tell her that if you can't or won't comply you need to go elsewhere??

[TYMAN]

Ekerr...About the pantyhose and heels, what I do behind closed door is my business! :rolleyes: And I am in love with AMY!! :D

[ekerr19]

Personally, I wouldn't advise anyone to "go elsewhere" - though I agree there may be other vacations better suited to the casual option the OP's DH seems to prefer.

I honestly don't think that many folks are really bothered by what others choose to wear... I know I am not. We just like to dress up. It's fun, festive and something we don't normally get to do on a day-to-day basis. :)

[ekerr19]

Ekerr... And I am in love with AMY!! :D

Boy, ya' think???? I never would have guessed! :D

Just keep those doors closed - or you might end up like poor ol' Vicar! LOL!

[HeatherInFlorida]

And I am in love with AMY!! :D

Wow! There's the shock of the day! Tell us something we didn't know!!!:rolleyes:

[ron46936]

If you don't want to pack a lot you can probably get by with a nice sport coat and tie for formal night. It may not be strictly according to "code", but it's not like to draw stares either.

[TYMAN]

Is it that obvious??

[peaches from georgia]

If you don't want to pack a lot you can probably get by with a nice sport coat and tie for formal night. It may not be strictly according to "code", but it's not like to draw stares either.
Better yet you can rent a tux on the ship and have nothing extra to pack for formal nights. Then enjoy the evening and feel like a million bucks.

[seattlecruiser]

I agree with Ron....I probably should not admit this, but on the Oosterdam last week I wore a dark sports coat and slacks with a white shirt and tie on formal nights and did not feel at all out of place. I did even notice some in the dining room without ties on formal nights.

[ekerr19]

Is it that obvious??

Are you kidding? :eek:

The veiled references to "her mountains" are not missed by anyone! *LOL*

This is the best laugh I've had today - thanks!

[AmyinVail]

Ekerr...About the pantyhose and heels, what I do behind closed door is my business! :rolleyes: And I am in love with AMY!! :D

Ty - I love you, too! I tell 'ya, I can't win for noth'in on this board! Even my new, laid back approach is backfiring on me! :rolleyes: The things that were mentioned that women supposedly wear are just foreign to me! I'll put on heels for you ANYTIME Tyman ;)

[AmyinVail]

The veiled references to "her mountains" are not missed by anyone!

The deceptive description of my Vail mountains shouldn't distract from deciding on dressing up or down while onboard.


:D

[dakrewser]

time 2 - and at least 3 responders didn't tell her that if you can't or won't comply you need to go elsewhere??

I suggested that the OP's DH might be more comfortable on a less formal cruise line - why do you have a problem with that, or do you prefer it when everyone is uncomfortable??

[ekerr19]

The things that were mentioned that women supposedly wear are just foreign to me! I'll put on heels for you ANYTIME Tyman ;)

Heels, gowns??? they are foreign to you???

I'm confused here? I usually wear a long gown or dress with heeled sandals, sans pantyhose.

What are you referring to? Oops, maybe it's better left unsaid... :eek:

[TYMAN]

Are we actually having fun here??? :rolleyes:
Amy..give me a minute here.....hmmm heels....

[HeatherInFlorida]

Word of caution, Tyman ... be careful what you wish for. All too often things are not always what they seem.

[RevNeal]

On HAL the minimum dress code for men on formal night is: jacket and tie. While it is not "formal" clothing, it nevertheless reflects a good-faith effort to meet the minimal dress code of the Line by dressing in slacks, dress shirt, tie, and sports jacket. If a man wears this on formal night he will be, within the strict lettering of the code, within the code. Anything LESS than slacks, shirt, tie, and jacket is not in conformity with the code.

On informal night the very same garb, sans the tie, would qualify. And, on casual nights, drop the jacket and you'll be fine. So ... if one is worried about luggage limits or such, it doesn't take much to match the Line's minimal code.

As to the question of enforcement: it's a crap shoot. It all depends upon the ship's Hotel Manager and the Matre D. The Statendam used to have a very strict Matre D; clearly, not any more. The word I have received from "on high" (Seattle ... not heaven) is that the Line is seeking to reinforce the dress code, among some other rules, but it's taking time to filter the importance of stressing the code throughout the fleet.

As most of you know, I wear a Tuxedo (or black suit and clerics) on formal nights, suit and tie (or clerics) on informal nights, and often a jacket and casual shirt on casual nights. Indeed, I've been accused by at least one fellow passenger of being "over-dressed." :)

[ekerr19]

Word of caution, Tyman ... be careful what you wish for. All too often things are not always what they seem.

***LOL***

Love this observation. :D

[Time2sail]

I read the blender thread with the many posts by the person who has since been discovered by spouse and removed---he was hilarious and I can see why he would be greatly missed. Didn't understand any of the reasons for all that happened but it is not for me to know.:confused:

[TYMAN]

Heather...You got me on that one! :D

[RevNeal]

...what's the big deal to feel sorry for a man dressed in a suit?


I'll give you a reason: Temperature. You know that I LOVE to dress-up on my cruises; indeed, I've been branded a dress-code-hound by some libertarians over my opinions on the subject. Nevertheless, I have been on cruises where the temperature in the ship, and in the main dining room, has been kept far too warm for comfort to a man dressed in 3 layers of clothing (undershirt, dress shirt, and jacket ... count the layers). So, while ladies walk around bare shouldered in their evening dresses and whine about being too cold -- and, subsequently, get the Hotel Manger to push the thermostat up 5 degrees -- the men are baking under layers of material. Many a time I've been sitting in the dining room, having dinner, while perspiration is soaking my undershirt.

[HeatherInFlorida]

Greg, excellently said!!!

And don't anyone forget last year when passengers were asked to leave the dining room at breakfast because they had shorts on!!! I called HAL on that because it surprised me and I was told that it is up to the individual Maitre D's as to how they enforce the code.

I'll admit that I'm just sissy enough to be mortified if asked to leave the dining room because I'm not dressed properly.

[lidorose]

It seems the Maitre D on our Amsterdam cruise last May judged men and women differently according to the dress code. On formal night, men were strictly forbidden to even enter the dining room if they weren't wearing a jacket, yet the lady at the table across from me was wearing khakis and a plain long-sleeved shirt.

[haileysqueek]

Thanks everyone for all the advice!

MetathoraX suggested that my DH could change into something more comfortable after dinner. Is this acceptable? I thought I read somewhere that on formal evenings, formal clothing must be worn in all public areas for the whole evening. Also we have the latest dining time, 8:30 I believe. Do we need to be all dressed by 6, or can we stay casual until dinner?

Swannie- I love your idea about buying a gown on Ebay. I checked it out and found a few inexpensive ones that I may try bidding on. Hopefully, I can find something that fits. If not, I can always turn around and sell it on Ebay myself!

Dakrewser- NCL is the only cruise line we have been on. You're right, it was a perfect match for us. We would have sailed on NCL this time, but their sailing dates didn't work for our schedule. We thought about going on the Diamond Princess, but it doesn't stay in port as long as HAL, which is very important to us. Plus, I was scared off by the terrible reviews. All things considered, this HAL cruise made the most sense for us.

Pudgesmom- I'll keep my fingers crossed that it will be too humid for jeans. I don't know if it gets really humid in the Mexican Riviera in April, but here's hoping!

Michmike- I really appreciate your response! Not to offend anyone, but I wondered if everyone on the cruise would feel so strongly about the dress code, or if some of the posters on this board felt more strongly about it than the average passenger. Your response helped me relax a little about this. Now, I don't intend to abandon the dress code, but I don't think I need to stress so much about it, either. We'll just do our best in this regard, and try to have some fun. Thanks!

HeatherInFlorida- No shorts in the dining room for breakfast? That isn't really part of the HAL dress code is it?

Many of you suggested going to the Lido for more casual dining. That's a buffet, right? I much prefer sitting down and having a waiter/waitress. I know I'm not going to get DH in a tux, just as I'm probably not going to be wearing a super elegant gown. But I think we should be able to find clothes that fit into the dress code. I know DH will complain about dressing up, but he usually gives in if I nag him enough!

[HeatherInFlorida]

Hailey, I asked HAL about this (shorts at Breakfast) and they told me it was up to the individual Maitre d's. Last years here on these boards someone said that they were dressed in a really nice shorts outfit (Bermudas I think) and they were not allowed in the DR for breakfast. I was astounded because I had never heard that. So it didn't happen to me, but it did happen to someone.

I'm sure someone else will fill you in but I don't believe the Lido is a complete buffet in the evening. I think you get your own appetizer (or salad) and then they take youroder just like in the DR. It's not at all like during the day.

[Bulkibagel]

My lovely wife and I have done the NCL and RCCL thing.

What we like about cruising is the fact that we can dress up on formal nights and enjoy the elegance of the main dining room and the pinacle grill. We usually go back to the cabin and change after dinner into country club attire. I usually rent a tux from the cruiseline so I do not have to take a suit with. We also enjoy the less formal nights where I usually wear slacks or docker type pants, a nice shirt and a blazer.

So my answer to your problem, rent a tux from
http://www.cruiselineformal.com/index.html prior to your cruise and inform your husband that he will have to make like its his prom again for ast least 2 nights.

Have fun,

Karen and Terence

[RuthC]

Thanks everyone for all the advice!

MetathoraX suggested that my DH could change into something more comfortable after dinner. Is this acceptable? I thought I read somewhere that on formal evenings, formal clothing must be worn in all public areas for the whole evening.
Yes, that is the expectation for formal---and every---night.
Even on casual evenings you would want to wash up and dress in a more "put-together" outfit.
So go ahead and nag if you must.

I well remember when my husband came home one day with a complete formal set---the works! Even had the white dinner jacket! I had never asked him to wear one; he did it to make me happy---and because he knew he'd look nice.
The formal portrait that was done when the two of us were all gussied up hangs to this day by the front door. It's a reminder of happy times every time I leave the house.

[AmyinVail]

Word of caution, Tyman ... be careful what you wish for. All too often things are not always what they seem.

If I had half the computer talents of Dakrewser, I'd post a picture of myself either as an Avatar or in a post....can't figure out how to do either. I don't think I look bad at all in heels! ;)

[dakrewser]

Also we have the latest dining time, 8:30 I believe. Do we need to be all dressed by 6, or can we stay casual until dinner?

Generally you should change by 6, but I find you can "hide out" in the Crow's Nest until 7 or 7:30 without feeling out of place.

Dakrewser- NCL is the only cruise line we have been on. You're right, it was a perfect match for us. We would have sailed on NCL this time, but their sailing dates didn't work for our schedule. We thought about going on the Diamond Princess, but it doesn't stay in port as long as HAL, which is very important to us. Plus, I was scared off by the terrible reviews. All things considered, this HAL cruise made the most sense for us.

OK, then consider eating in the Lido and occasionally in your cabin (you'll need to order around 6, but can get delivery scheduled when you want).

Many of you suggested going to the Lido for more casual dining. That's a buffet, right?

For dinner, you pick up your own appetizers, soups, salads but order your main course which is delivered to your table by a steward. THe tables are set with tableclothes, etc. There are people who prefer eating in the Lido to the dining room.

But I expect you'll find a way to get your DH in a jacket and khakis for at least one or two trips to the DR.

Have a great cruise!

[HeatherInFlorida]

If I had half the computer talents of Dakrewser, I'd post a picture of myself either as an Avatar or in a post....can't figure out how to do either. I don't think I look bad at all in heels! ;)

Send it on over to me, Amy, ... I'll be happy to post it for you! Or you can really do it yourself ... when you post just add the attachment.

Oh ... never mind, Amy! I've got it!:D

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:t1SP46izaGYJ:i.cnn.net/si/features/2001/swimsuit/gallery/amy/amy_7_lg.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2001/swimsuit/gallery/amy/amy_7_lg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.cnnsi.com/features/2001/swimsuit/gallery/amy/amy_7_lg.html&h=600&w=428&sz=45&tbnid=t1SP46izaGYJ:&tbnh=132&tbnw=94&start=12&prev=/images%3Fq%3DAmy%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN)

[AmyinVail]

Heather -
while that is a fabulous picture, I certainly wish it were me! Let's see if this works.....

Thanks for the advice!

[AmyinVail]

It worked! Thanks Heather....see, I'm not a 15 year old boy toying with you, Tyman! :D

Although, I do believe that I like Heather's version of me, better!!! :D

[NewportJulie]

My husband would like to know how well inforced the dress codes are. Like what would happen if he showed up for dinner on a casual night wearing jeans and a t-shirt? Please don't take offense to that question. From reading this board I can see that most of you support the dress code. I just have to ask.


I just took this cruise. I never saw anyone dressed in jeans in the dining room on formal night so I suspect your DH would be quite conspicuous if he did. However I have a hard time envisioning the crew turning someone away on their own - they were more accommodating than enforcing.

In general everyone pretty much adhered to the dress code on the cruise and there were more than a few tuxedos on formal night. The majority of women wore cocktail dresses, not gowns, which was was entirely appropriate.

p.s. thanks to Heather, I can show you a pic of DH and me in our formal attire

[TYMAN]

That's exactly how I pictured Amy! ;) Let's see if I can find a pic of me......
Heather..I might have to send it to you for posting, ok Darling?

[TinaLee]

A tuxedo is simply a suit with a stripe down the leg of the trouser and satin lapels. If tied correctly (or fitted correctly if a clip on)a bow tie is not big deal IMO

Okay, here's a question for the fashionista. My husbands "tuxedo" does NOT have satin lapels, nor does it have a stripe down the leg, both of which he hates and which where why he would never buy (or rent) a tux. NOW... this was purchased at a tuxedo store, and he wears it with a tux shirt, studs, cuff links, vest, and the little bow tie. (and looks quite dashing if I do say so myself) Is this NOT a tux, just a dark suit?? I'm so confused!!!

:confused: :confused: TinaLee

[HeatherInFlorida]

Looks to me like I may have posted a pic of Julie by mistake.

Got it, Tyman! Thanks for sending. Here it is, Amy!!!!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:2D5ZHGuTjBcJ:www.angelfire.com/tn/runrunrun/images/tyman.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.angelfire.com/tn/runrunrun/images/tyman.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.angelfire.com/tn/runrunrun/page6index.html&h=600&w=875&sz=582&tbnid=2D5ZHGuTjBcJ:&tbnh=99&tbnw=144&start=10&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtyman%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN)

[DNCButler]

Haileysqueek-

I think that you have the general jist of it all. Just ask him meet the minimum standard set forth by the cruiseline and you will have a great time without worring about how each one is dressed. It's really easy to live with, don't worry about tuxes and formal gowns, those that wear them do so because it's what they prefer-not mandatory.

My hubby was dead set against dressing up for our first cruise. I didn't make that big of a deal about it and just told him that it's only 2 nights that he has to wear a tie and I think he can live through a few hours for 2 lousy nights. I didn't hear anything more from him and we packed his suit and off we went. When we arrived on the ship we unpacked our stuff and went to explore the ship, when we returned there was a tux hanging in our cabin for him! He had ordered it on his own (this in unheard of in our house!) and proudly wore it for both formal nights. I tell everyone now that he did it just to shut me up about him hating to wear a suit. It's amazing what they will do for you out of love and respect when push comes to shove (even though the word tux never came out of my mouth!) Good luck to you and just enjoy your cruise. BTW, we sail on the Oosterdam on 3/26-same reason you booked, time in port!

[AmyinVail]

That's exactly how I pictured Amy! ;) Let's see if I can find a pic of me......
Heather..I might have to send it to you for posting, ok Darling?

I'm glad I didn't disappoint. On the other hand, it appears that you might be too young for me! ;)

[HeatherInFlorida]

I'm glad I didn't disappoint. On the other hand, it appears that you might be too young for me! ;)

Yes, Amy ... I was surprised Tyman didn't have a more recent pic!!!:D

[AmyinVail]

What does that tell 'ya? Hmmmmm.......... ;)

Thanks Heather for your expertise - we're ALL being "outed" now! :eek:

[dakrewser]

I'm glad I didn't disappoint. On the other hand, it appears that you might be too young for me! ;)

Not only that - he's bald! :rolleyes:

[TYMAN]

Here's a more recent pic....:D

[HeatherInFlorida]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. Sorry .... I can't stop!!!!!
http://www.southeastmissourihospital.com/vimandvigor/summer2002/IMAGES/LAUGHING_MAN_2.GIF

[ekerr19]

Oh Tyman, you are just so funny! Here is the one your wife emailed me - she said it was just recently taken - so let's be real now....

http://www.fbesp.org/pix/dork.jpg

[TYMAN]

Actually, my hair's a little shorter now...oh, but I still have the same glasses! Here's the honeymoon picture!

[HeatherInFlorida]

Now we're talkin' reality!

http://www.southeastmissourihospital.com/vimandvigor/summer2002/IMAGES/LAUGHING_MAN_2.GIF

[ron46936]

I guess I may be a little confused but ir seems to me that all the major cruise lines except for NCL and Oceania have pretty much the same formal night suggestions. It's been a few years since we've been on Celebrity but at the time they didn't have a "buffet" option and the specifically stated in the dailies that one was expected to "dress" for the entire evening.

We actually found NCL to be more consistant at enforcing their dress code than the other lines we've sailed. They generally specify one of the dining rooms as formal for two nights on a seven day cruise. They may then suggest you might be "more comfortable" elsewhere if you show up without a jacket at that room. And you may very well not be seated in any of the dining rooms except for the buffet if you show up in blue jeans on any night. About a fourth of the passengers choose the formal option along with the pictures and everything. We prefer to go casual.

On the other hand I wouldn't think of showing up with less than a coat and tie on formal night on HAL (or RCCL or X or even Carnival).

I do have a problem with the "informal" designation. My dictionary defines informal as casual. I think every line should at the most just have formal and casual. That way if you don't have a lot of dressy clothes you can rent a tux outfit for not much more than it costs to buy one.

[Sillyjilly]

TinaLee,

I worked in the formal wear business for 15 years. If it doesn't have satin on the lapels or pants, it's a suit. The satin is what changes a suit to a tuxedo. The only exception to this rule would be a white dinner jacket. Some have no satin on the lapels. We had suits and tuxedos and everybody complained about the satin stripe down the side of the pants. Some even purchased suit pants with a tuxedo jacket. In this day and age, anything goes. :)