Most unsafe shipboard moment...

[bepsf]

If you really, really wanted to mess things up bad and be certain of getting your 15 seconds of Deer-in-the-Headlights fame on FOX News, what's the most unsafe thing (or combination of things) can you do on a cruise ship?


I'm guessing that eating Caesar salad made w/ raw eggs and extra garlic & anchovies while wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the Vista Dining Room on Formal Night after I've left a coffee warmer plugged in using a frayed extension cord draped across the bed w/ the balcony door open during rough seas is a pretty bad thing to do...
;)

[lougee1043]

jump overboard in view of a bunch of pax

[dakrewser]

Taking a 3-day Bermuda cruise on the Carnival Exasperation during Spring Break week, and wearing a tux to dinner....

[saltydog28]

Brian, Were you also ironing by candlelight?

Pat.

[I Luv Crusin]

Taking a 3-day Bermuda cruise on the Carnival Exasperation during Spring Break week, and wearing a tux to dinner....

1) I've been researching Bermuda cruises and have never seen a 3 day cruise on any line.

2) Carnival does not have a ship named Exasperation.

3) My DH always wears his tux on Carnival's formal night and no he didn't buy it at WalMart.

4) Have you ever sailed Carnival?

5) Yes, I'm in a bad mood tonight.

[cruzermon]

1. Trying to smuggle booze OUT of the captain's cabin.

2. Performing a swan dive into the chip tray at the casino.

3. When greeted by the FA on the plane as Mr. Cruzermon, say "Oh, please, call me Osama".

4. Trying to garner a cabin upgrade in exchange for some of your ganja stash .

[bruce-r]

Well, one time when I was lighting the bar-b-que on my aft veranda, I got a fish on and just about knocked the cooler overboard trying to get the rod out of the holder. Now that would have been a real tragedy because it was my favorite NASCAR cooler.

BTW, I WASN"T on a Carivore cruise at the time.

[Randyk47]

All I can say is that you had to be there the night Lougee was water skiing nude on formal night. :eek:

[Boatdrill]

Well, one time when I was lighting the bar-b-que on my aft veranda, I got a fish on and just about knocked the cooler overboard trying to get the rod out of the holder. Now that would have been a real tragedy because it was my favorite NASCAR cooler.

BTW, I WASN"T on a Carivore cruise at the time.

You win First Prize for the Best Answer.
And most laughs. Thank YOU :D

[Boatdrill]

2) Carnival does not have a ship named Exasperation.




Carnival SHOULD have a ship called Exasperation. In honor of the crew.
Dontcha think ?

[jhannah]

Spread Gorilla Glue on all the deck chairs, then when they're full of people run across the deck hollering, "Fire! Fire!"

[bruce-r]

Oh, I forgot to add that DW would have been out of the veranda with to reel in the fish, but she was inside blending up some drinks in our blender using the booze we smuggled aboard ship and all the pineapple we got from the Lido. ;)

[Navy_Chief]

Spread Gorilla Glue on all the deck chairs, then when they're full of people run across the deck hollering, "Fire! Fire!"

Gee Jim, I don't know which is more commical, the people trying to get out of the deck chairs :eek: or people running around the Lower Prominade with the deck chair glued to their backside :rolleyes: trying to reach muster stations! :D

[penwah2002]

After formal dinner and wearing my best my husband dared me to walk the entire aft railing in high heel shoes after we consumed the bottom shelf of the wine celler. Happy to report no incidences. I know my DH loves me and would never put me in harms way. ;)

[NoNoNanette]

jump overboard in view of a bunch of pax

That reminds me of a joke:

Q. What are a redneck's famous last words?

A. "Hey Y'all.... watch this!"

:D

[kakalina]

I was wearing my beehive hairdo wig, and my size 18 thong. with my giant tote bag while smoking a cigarette in the pool with my diapered DH who was holding several glass glasses while lighting his pipe. We watched our children run screaming to the rails and chuckled disarmingly when they climbed to the top and walked a "balance beam". We were quite offended when we were told we should pay attention to the rules when all we wanted was some food, it shouldn't matter that we are wet, we weren't dripping on anyone directly; so we walked dripping to the HM's desk where we advised him we could take our business to Carnival if they didn't watch themselves!! I know HAL doesn't want to lose good customers like us :eek: :D :D

[dakrewser]

1) I've been researching Bermuda cruises and have never seen a 3 day cruise on any line.

2) Carnival does not have a ship named Exasperation.

3) My DH always wears his tux on Carnival's formal night and no he didn't buy it at WalMart.

4) Have you ever sailed Carnival?

5) Yes, I'm in a bad mood tonight.

1) OK, Bahamas, then.
2 & 4) I swear I sailed on the Exasperation in the early 90's. The experience was so traumatic (it was my first cruise) that I wouldn't get on another ship for 5 years!
3) Have you ever vacationed with thousands of drunk college students?
5) I'd offer you one of my 'special' margaritas, but it's 9:30 in the morning now! :rolleyes:

[K&RCurt]

I was almost in a dangerous situation once. I was in the Lido buffett wearing my speedo and HAL bathrobe. There were a bunch of people standing around in front of one of the stations so I went by them to get my selection, I went to each area and piled my selection good and high. I sat down, next to some obnoxious guy weezing who had some kind of green tank hooked up to his nose with plastic tubes (I think he was huffing nitrous oxide). I ordered a coke and then topped it off with the 151 run I had smuggled along in a mouthwash bottle. I lit my cigar and began to enjoy my breakfast. I was thinking that my fruit salad would be excellent if served a la flambe' so I got out the ole 151 pourded it over the fruit and lit it with my cigar...HOT DAMN! That's whay I call FLAMBE!

BTW the crabby old guy next to me only spent 3 weeks in the hospital and his insurance covered the helicoptor ride so...NO HARM NO FOUL!

[bighamlin]

Kakalina, That is so funny!!

[twinkletoes4445]

Taking a 3-day Bermuda cruise on the Carnival Exasperation during Spring Break week, and wearing a tux to dinner....

That's funny.

[carolcp]

Bungee jumping from the flying bridge?

Roller skating on the promende deck during a hurricane?

Following a fellow passenger through the Lido who is sneezing and tasting the food with the serving spoons as they pass through the line?

Parasailing off the sports deck?

Messing with a chair hogs belongings?

Eating the food in certain ports?

Practice scaling a sheer wall using the funnel?

Saving 10 center seats for a show in the lounges and only have 1 other person show up?

Carol

[MikeT718]

For me it was the last time I was on the Gudaadam..I had Tux-O-Missing and Tuxless with me. We were in the lido and they were being very bad both of them were reaching for and eating all of the food without letting me put it on a plate for them...People were looking at us strangly so I took them both out to pool we were swimming and having a great time..Untill Captian Homer Von Shumkinstien..Told me, that myself and my 2 freinds will have to leave the pool area..I could not understand this I mean it was not a lot of poop in the pool......

[Copper10-8]

Things to do at the dining room table on your first night with your new tablemates:

Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 or 3 minutes ago. Say, “Oh, now I get it!”

Wear a disposable paper face mask. Tell the group: “Hey, you don't want to catch what I've got!”

Check your watch very regularly, every 30 seconds or so.

Every so often, duck under the table. Stare in horror. Pop back up and look real scared.

At opportune times, stick an inhaler in your ear. Inhale deeply.

Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone.

Wear brightly-colored earmuffs. Explain that “my ears tend to get real cold on cruises."

Stand up and start doing the Macarena. Forcibly wrestle yourself back into your chair. Look real embarrassed. Tell everybody “My doctor's appointment is next week.”

[cruznon]

Copper--LOL!

:D :D :D

[jhannah]

John, might your list be from experience? ;)

[Willsot]

3 or 4 day cruise during college spring break season? Gives me shudders just thinking about it!

I once ran with scissors all around the Promenade deck!

[Copper10-8]

John, might your list be from experience? ;)

Only the Spanish Inquisition can make divulge that, Jim;)

[CruisinGrams]

I don't know any of you guys but I want to cruise with everyone one of you and not on Carnivalle either. What great comebacks. You must have the best sense of humor on the high seas.

[Bramcruiser]

1. Walking upside down on the ceilings all the way to the engine room pre-planning an escape route in case The Poseidon Adventure really happened.

2. Used the wrong fork during dinner in the dining room.

3. Called the Captain Merle Stubing!

4. Yelled out "Iceberg heading our way!" in the middle of the Caribbean!

5. Asked the employees in the shop for only one inch worth when buying chains by the inches.

6. Fell in love with a steerage class passenger. That almost always dooms a ship!

7. Showed up with a noisy school group on a HAL cruise. (Okay, ducking those tomatoes at this point!)

8. Went topless on the top deck of the ship.

9. Say nice things about Carnival while onboard an HAL ship.

10. Refuse to wear the life jacket at the muster call because it clashed with my outfit.

Okay. These are all for fun people! I can see someone know reading this and getting mad.

[Bramcruiser]

Saving 10 center seats for a show in the lounges and only have 1 other person show up?

Carol





Okay with me. The beauty of being behind the pole that blocks the view is that the performer can't see you and drag you on the stage to embarrass you. And now, its the "Carol Show".:D

[eviefaye]

How about...
just after boarding, as the boat starts to leave making sure the brakes on your father's wheelchair don't work and he goes wheeling into the gaurd rail!!! luckily he ran into someone else and they both stayed on board!!!

We just got a new wheelchair and the brakes work on this one. So Our Cruise on Saturday aboard the OOsterdam should be ok!

[Bramcruiser]

Well, one time when I was lighting the bar-b-que on my aft veranda,

Oh now I am really laughing. I'm doing my very first balcony this year and on the QM2 too! I was joking with a friend and the idea of barbequing on the balcony threw us into a hysterical fit of laughter. Anyone got a Hibachi available for sale?:D

[patwell]

OK Bramcruiser...I'll be watching for those tell tale wisps of smoke in Dec!!! And I won't tell, but only if we get invited for the BBQ!! Medium rare please..
And what are you doing posting...you're supposed to be on vacation!!! Cheers, Penny

[Bramcruiser]

Hi Penny: Oops! Got followed into the HAL board. Of course you're invited. Let's see, enough steak, hamburgers, fish, chicken, etc. for 2,600 passengers. You think they would mind if I raid the ship's stores? You're husband likes to fish. Maybe we should get him working with that rod!

David

[Wild Thing ~T]

I was almost in a dangerous situation once. I was in the Lido buffett wearing my speedo and HAL bathrobe. There were a bunch of people standing around in front of one of the stations so I went by them to get my selection, I went to each area and piled my selection good and high. I sat down, next to some obnoxious guy weezing who had some kind of green tank hooked up to his nose with plastic tubes (I think he was huffing nitrous oxide). I ordered a coke and then topped it off with the 151 run I had smuggled along in a mouthwash bottle. I lit my cigar and began to enjoy my breakfast. I was thinking that my fruit salad would be excellent if served a la flambe' so I got out the ole 151 pourded it over the fruit and lit it with my cigar...HOT DAMN! That's whay I call FLAMBE!

BTW the crabby old guy next to me only spent 3 weeks in the hospital and his insurance covered the helicoptor ride so...NO HARM NO FOUL!

You two sound like a great time! Come onboard the Zaandam Sept. 15!
Wildthing and DH

[cruzincurt]

Attempting to be first in line at the 11:00am (yep it's in the morning for some reason) HAL welcome back reception. You will be trampled down when the doors open. Those Mariners want that free drink, NOW.

Been there, seen it. Quite an ugly crowd.

[southern_yarddog]

While on the Costa,

Wear my HAL robe and Hal totebag while on Costa ship.:eek:

Everytime I get back onboard the ship hand them my old HAL ship card.:)

When you get to the Island go to the service desk and upsetly say, " this is not what's on the itenerary for this cruise and hand them the HAL booklet.:rolleyes:

[RevNeal]

What a HOOT ... how did I ever miss this thread when it was first posted???
LOL

John ... no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! :D

[serendipity1499]

What a HOOT ... how did I ever miss this thread when it was first posted???
LOL

John ... no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! :D

We missed this one too!:) How come you folks always come up with amuzing threads while we're on vacation & then become so serious when we're home? :confused:

May we also join your group...I'm dying to see those guy's in their speedo's!:o

Another thing will we be permitted to take over the Crow's Nest & Aft Pool (only kidding Sail) or do we have to be Nice?;)

[Sunshine91]

what's the most unsafe thing (or combination of things) can you do on a cruise ship?
;)

Brian - For you, it would have to be walking anywhere's near a staircase. ;)

(Then I realized this was a humorous thread!)

[AlohaPride]

. . .

3. When greeted by the FA on the plane as Mr. Cruzermon, say "Oh, please, call me Osama".



Oh my GOD! I couldn't stop laughing for about 3 minutes! This was soooo funny!!