SIngle women travellers

[judithbiggs]

Hope this will get some responce. First of all, I am married, but travel alot with my widowed mother. I have noticed that couples get much better service than two single women travelling together. I believe the fact that there is a male along makes for the better service. This is not only on cruise lines, but anywhere I've travelled as a single woman. I always wonder if they think men will tip better than a woman would. I never believed that there could be a diference in the level of service when I heard it from women until I started experiencing it myself. Is there anyone out there that feels the same?

[ASue]

Hi Judith,
I know exactly what you are saying !!!! I also travel alot with my mom. We have been so unhappy with the service that we usually go to the Lido deck to eat. I never thought about the servers thinking they would get better tips if we were with a man. On one ship I complained about being so cold. The server just looked at me and said "no one else is complaining" They were all complaining except to the waiter !!! My mom took a cruise alone this last feb and had personal choice dinning on Princess. They gave her such awful sitting that she only ate in the dinning room twice. She felt like her being alone was a burden to them and they didn't know where to put just one person. Seems they like to put you back in a corner and ignore you. We have a cruise booked for this Oct. on HAL and then one in March on Celebrity so we will see how that goes.

[Stevesan]

A comedienne, Elayne Boosler, once performed a very funny comedy skit about dining alone in restaurants entitled Party Of One.

You may find her a "soulmate":) A Google search reveals that she published a 70 minute video with the same title. It appears that it's still available.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389960/

[gizmo]

I cannot give an answer about cruise lines and service but can comment on airlines and restaurants.

Airlines
Flying in first class, women are ignored by many flight attendents.
Everyone is ignored in coach. :rolleyes:

Restaurants
It is hit or miss, but I found in many restaurants, a single women gets lousy service.
One place that comes to mind is Chris Ruth's Steak House in Mobile. Horrible service for a solo women.
There is a first class restaurant in Glastonbury Ct. The waiters and waitress have been ok, it is the idiots that seat you. They always try to stick me in the bar area which is very, very loud. People standing 2 deep at the bar are almost leaning on the tables. What gets me is the 2 guys or the couple in front of me get seated in the dining room, she comes back and always wants to put me in the bar. I always say no. There are PLENTY of tables for 2 available in the dining room. It is not a reservation thing because when I leave there are still tables available.

[dot73]

I definitely get worse service in restaurants on land when I eat alone but have not noticed it on HAL. I usually eat alone at least one night at a specialty restaurant on HAL and have always had the waiters hovering over me. I think they feel sorry for me because I'm eating alone. As for the waiters who treat me differently because I am eating solo at restaurants, it's their loss because I tip very well for great service. Also, if I am ignored, I just leave and find another restaurant. I also refuse to take a table that is not to my liking. Smart service people (includign car salespeople) have learned to cater to women because they now realize what buying power we have. If you feel someone has treated you unfairly because you are alone or a woman, complain to the management. Money talks and if they want ours, they have to earn it.

[RuthC]

I've been 1/2 of a couple for over six years now. In real life I do find that I get a lesser quality service than did when I was part of a full couple. The standard belief that women don't tip as well as men begets poor service. Which begets a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Service does seem to improve once I become a regular at a restaurant. Sometimes a server will go out of his/her way to make a bit of small-talk. That's always appreciated.

But I have never found that to be true on HAL. I'm always welcomed aboard like a long-lost friend who has finally come home. My table stewards have never treated me differently than the couples at the table. Lounge stewards have been very attentive. In the Lido there's always at least one steward waiting to help me with my tray (frequently more!).
Officers, crew, and staff appear to make an extra effort to see that I'm well taken care of.

[dot73]

You are right, Ruth. HAL staff go out of their way to make us solo passengers feel welcome. That is the reason I have stuck to cruising the last eight years with only one land vacation. I will be taking my very first Princess cruise inTahiti next year. It will be interesting to see how the cruise lines compare.

[Roz]

I'm taking my 4th solo cruise on HAL this November, and have always been treated well. I get great service at restaurants where the servers know me. At other places it can be hit or miss. Can't say that it's because I'm a single woman.

Roz

[judithbiggs]

Thanks for all your input. On the whole, I have found HAL to be the best at catering to single women, but having travelled with my husband, and then my mother, there is definitely a difference. I found that especially true when going to the maitre d to change a table or seating time. I have watched couples have no problem at all and then when I try for the two of us, it is a different story. In fact, I went to guest relations on that point on our Amazon cruise, and because Sheri was a single woman, she understood, and took care of it herself, no problem. I just felt it was a shame that I had to take that kind of action.

[RuthC]

.... I just felt it was a shame that I had to take that kind of action.
I agree; it was a shame. And it was so different from the two times I asked for a table change.

The first time was to join friends I had met aboard, so may not be comparable.
The second time, however, was to remove myself from a woman at my table who I can only term cruel. The Maitre d' couldn't have been nicer about it. He not only gave me my choice of a few different arrangements, he did it immediately upon request. And---and this is the best part---he went out of his way to be kind at a point when I was close to tears.

[wander]

I am a married woman who travels extensively with my husband and by myself. Travels include both land based and cruise travel, business and pleasure.

LAND TRAVEL. For about the past 20 years I truefully have NOT noticed any difference in the way I am treated when I travel alone. This has involved being alone on the "road" for as much as a month at a time. I have received the same variation of excellent to poor service when alone, with my husband and with groups. Generally speaking I find that I receive good to excellent service under all circumstances. There are the exceptions, but they seem evenly distributed.

I do think that when folks are dining alone, it is easier to notice slow service or poor attitudes as you do not have conversations to fill your time or distract you. However, when thinking of it, I realize that it did not really take longer, but it may seem like it as time passes slower. When I traveled alone, I always carried a paperback in my purse to read if I felt like it while waiting for a meal. I seldom used it, because I enjoy people watching.

CRUISE SHIPS. I have cruised 2-4 weeks alone four or five different times. (Princess once, HAL the rest) I have NEVER felt I got any different service alone than when traveling with my husband or friends. In fact, when I do eat breakfast alone, I have found that the crew, particularly on HAL, were most attentive. Some dining room and cabin stewards are just more helpful, considerate and friendly than others, regardless of who they are serving.

Now, when I first started traveling alone for business (like 30+ years ago), many restaurants did not know how to treat single women. But I found that this changed. I do think there was a reason for this. While in college I was a waitress for awhile and I definately found that women eating alone, of more so in a group, were typically terrible tippers. (Of course, there were exceptions.) As a rule, we steered such folks to other tables. But, because of the setting these were not folks on business, but rather those on vacation, day trips, etc. Hopefully this has changed. I know that I tip the same whether I am on business or pleasure trips.

[MeOhMy]

To improve your service on airlines, dress "business casual" and carry a brief case or, my preference, a laptop case with our company's logo on it. Well, my ex-company's logo on it. I am retired. FAs pay attention and I get just as much "stuff" in it as in a really large purse. And all those compartments sure are handy.

Incidentally. Many years ago when I was responsible for setting up meetings for our professional organization in St. Louis I went alone to the restuarant where I had arranged the meeting. Men all around me were having their cups filled, service for them was excellent. Service for me was terrible. I complained. The hostess actually said, well they work. I said, will you be here tomorrow? She said yes and I gave her my name and suggested she remember it. The next day I cancelled the reservation (the meeting location had not been announced,) They said, in effect, eeeeek. I said if you can not get a cup of coffee to one woman alone you certainly can not handle dinner for 50+. And give my best respects to the hostess in question.

[kryos]

I definitely get worse service in restaurants on land when I eat alone but have not noticed it on HAL. I usually eat alone at least one night at a specialty restaurant on HAL and have always had the waiters hovering over me. I think they feel sorry for me because I'm eating alone. As for the waiters who treat me differently because I am eating solo at restaurants, it's their loss because I tip very well for great service. Also, if I am ignored, I just leave and find another restaurant. I also refuse to take a table that is not to my liking. Smart service people (includign car salespeople) have learned to cater to women because they now realize what buying power we have. If you feel someone has treated you unfairly because you are alone or a woman, complain to the management. Money talks and if they want ours, they have to earn it.
I'm with you in regard to HAL service. I find that I get great service on HAL when I travel as a solo. I notice no difference at all between the level of service I get and what I see couples getting.

As for land-based restaurants, I have to say that I get good service in them too ... because if I don't, I can be quite vocal about it. If they try to seat me somewhere I don't like, I tell the hostess right up front. If the waiter is slow and I notice other tables around me being served while I am still waiting, I open my mouth and say something. That usually corrects the problem.

As for where I am seated, the one thing I don't like ... but hesitate to say something about ... is when they seat you at a tiny table. If the restaurant is crowded, I will usually let that go ... tables are at a premium and the single diner will get the small table. But if the place is empty, I open my mouth in this case too ... asking for a larger table in the same area.

Today more and more people ... men and women ... are dining alone. It's almost a necessity with couples both working and maintaining different schedules on many days. I personally haven't dined out alone in a while ... but it looks like I'm gonna be going back to two "gigs" pretty soon ... and if so, I'll be dining out a lot on my own. So, if I'm tired after working two full shifts, and feel like having a nice meal out on the way home, why should I deny myself that just because I have no one to share it with ... because maybe my friends or a significant other is busy that night? Restaurants better get used to having single diners ... and treating them right ... because I have a feeling that over time, there's going to be a lot more of us. If you don't get good service, chances are it's because you are tolerating poor service. Open your mouth and nine times out of ten things will greatly improve.

Blue skies ...

--rita

[gizmo]

To improve your service on airlines, dress "business casual" and carry a brief case or, my preference, a laptop case with our company's logo on it. Well, my ex-company's logo on it. I am retired. FAs pay attention and I get just as much "stuff" in it as in a really large purse. And all those compartments sure are handy.



It doesn't work on Delta. :mad:

[debsea]

My DM and I have taken four cruises together on HAL, looking forward to Mediterranean back2backs next month, and have always had wonderful service. I have cruised once with my DH and found the attention and service from the crew to be the same. My DM has cruised herself twice and has come back with heartwarming stories about the attention and service she has received.

[kryos]

It doesn't work on Delta. :mad:
Funny you should say that.

A co-worker of mine has a relative who is high up in Delta's management. This friend told me that it is a given that IF there are extra seats in business/first class on a given flight, the people who will get the free or cheap upgrades will always be those who are dressed "professionally." Supposedly, according to this guy's relative, when people pay for first class seats, they don't want to be sitting next to a slob. Of course, the airline can't control it if someone dressed shabbily happens to have booked and paid for a seat in first class, but the airline certainly won't upgrade someone who is dressed shabbily.

So, this friend of mine told me ... "if you want to have a chance of sitting in first class without paying for it ... dress to impress." :)

Blue skies ...

--rita

[airlink diva]

I've sailed on HAL solo twice (Oosterdam 2004 & Westerdam 2005) and upcoming (Maasdam 2007). I was treated like a queen by the crew.
I enjoyed my trips on the HAL ships and feel like the service is step up a notch when you are a solo travlers (I sailed on two other lines and while the service was good, I was always mentally comparing it to my HAL sailing).
I have to agree with on-shore services. I travel alot solo and service has varied from good to downright bad. But I speak up about when service is bad. Also, you never know who that person knows or tells. Since everyone at work call me a "travel queen" (since I'm always planning or going on a cruise or other trip). I give suggestions on where to stay, eat, and what to do.

[TriGirl]

I travel with my mom and my husband and the service hasn't been any different. However, when my mom and I go out to dinner we often get crappy service. It's VERY rare that the service is bad when I'm with my husband, it does happen but very rarely. My mom and I have been ignored, served cold food, one waitress actually got snippy when we didn't order any wine or alcohol. It's really stupid becuase I will always tip well for good service. But if I get treated badly the tip reflects it.

I can honestly say in all my years of cruising with my mom I don't feel that we ever received bad service because we were two women. We had some bad service on Celebrity one time, but it wasn't isolated to just us. HAL crew always does a fantastic job of making us both feel welcomed, and in most cases will go out of their way for my mom.

[gizmo]

Kyros,

Ask your friend how the gate agent is suppose to know who is who ?

Most people are already checked in and sitting around waiting on the plane.

The FF high milage guys have their eyes glued to the screen waiting to see if they get their upgrades. It always looks like a mob scene. :rolleyes:

[mariettalady2]

Having cruised as a single on many many HAL cruises I have found that in order to get a nice seating in the dining room- you have to be aggressive and even go around and pick out a "lively" table that is composed of 8 or l0 people, couples and maybe singles... and then just flat out tell the Head Waiter or one in Charge of Seating that that table (which has an empty space) is the one you wish to have your dinner. When you go in alone for breakfast or lunch- if you want to sit with others, tell the Person who is seating you- if not say I wish to eat alone. You simply have to tell them what you want!!! and if you do not get service that way - go to the Dining Room Manager and complain! its your cruise, your money, and you have to be aggressive when you are a single lady! This goes for restaurants as well a anything else! Good Luck and Good Cruising. A single widow cruiser
Mariettalady2

[RuthC]

you have to be aggressive when you are a single lady!
Age has brought the wisdom that "assertive" brings a better response than "aggressive".
Took a long time, but I finally got there---like my dear mother used to say: You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.