dbogusch
April 24th, 2004, 04:59 PM
Hi All,
We are back from the Sensation five day cruise. Overall we had a wonderful time. Let me just give my observations and then I'll post a funny review that my husband wrote up (funny but absolutely (mostly) true!):
* Despite what I read about the food being bad, we enjoyed it. We ate mostly in the buffet instead of the main dining room but found most food to be great.
* Yes, the ship is older but very well maintained.
* Yes, the ship is done in oranges and purples but it still looks nice.
* Not tons of kids running the ship - - a few yes but not bad.
* Camp Carnival is a godsend.
* The beds are so comfortable that I never wanted to get out of them.
* The infirmary staff was very helpful when I got sick.
* If you play in the casino, plan to donate money because you don't get much back.
* If you play bingo, you stand a better chance of winning when the pot is smaller. I won two games and $182 on a smaller day.
* The new cruise director Rebecca was okay...not great but good.
* Our room steward started off not being good but he got better as the cruise progressed.
* The cabins are very big for a cruise ship and slept four people comfortably.
* Make sure you take Purell and wash your hands religiously. We didn't do this and I got what I think was the Norwalk virus and my husband got a sore throat.
* Grand Cayman is gorgeous.
* Cozumel is touristy.
* One complaint about the pools. I have two kids. One is 11 and one is 5. They could never swim in the same pool because the main pool is too deep for my little one and the kids pool is too shallow for my 11 year old to have fun in. It would be nice to have a pool that both could use. Hot tubs were great.
* 24 hour pizza, ice cream, and deli was wonderful as was room service.
* I have now cruised with NCL and Carnival. My husband preferred Carnival and I preferred
NCL. Matter of activities involved on the cruise.
Okay, now for our review:
These are the continuing voyages of our family, on a quest to visit places never before seen (by us), to save the cruise line from wasting food, and to pretty much chill far away from the hub-bub of daily life.
Day 1 (Tuesday):
We arrived at the Denver airport with plenty of time to spare. The mandatory stupid question is asked by a neighboring passenger who asks—in front of a really big sign stating that boarding pass is needed to get through security—“Do I need a boarding pass?” Said passenger is immediately clubbed by bored TSA agents and tossed into the x-ray machine on the “fry” setting. We flew Northwest, which, in normal states of mind, is something I would do just after I plunged myself from a skyscraper given their incredible customer disservice history. We have a layover in Memphis, where everything has the face of Elvis on it. The Memphis airport is nice, clean, romancing the 60’s, and only slightly more claustrophobic than your average linen closet. The flight in from Denver was maybe 2/3’s full making for a pleasant trip. The flight from Memphis to Orlando is packed with the usual coterie of screaming kids. I’m tempted to open the exit row door with a nearby kid’s body for the safety demonstration. We arrive without incident in Orlando and quickly navigate to the luggage area where we wait until the next day for our luggage (which must have been routed through Hawaii).
NOTE FROM DIANE: We have kids too and don't have a problem with them normally but this kid was SCREAMING the whole trip and his mother only did the "Hush now" with him. Big pet peeve.
Hertz has a nice bus to whisk us to the rental area and we are upgraded to a Toyota Highlander. After opening the door, we immediately decided that it is really a large station wagon, reminding us of the Brady Bunch, and we’ll be buying one as soon as we get back home. (It has all the optional extras, such as wheels, windows, and a luggage rack for kids.) We crashed at the Holiday Inn in Altamonte Springs and blissfully fell asleep in about 0.1 seconds or so.
Day 2 (Wednesday):
We woke up for an early lunch, amazed that the four bags and thirteen carry-on pieces of essential luggage have overtaken the hotel room. We changed into fashionable swimming attire, looking much like “The Pasty White People” attempting water navigation, and headed towards the pool. After five minutes of hurricane force winds and pool water cold enough that the manatees were sitting on side wrapped in towels, we gave up and put on normal clothes.
The car wound its way through Orlando and down to the Science Center. Fortunately, we have an annual pass (yes, to a place about 2,000 miles away from home), which saved us from the normal shock of “We paid for this?”. The electrical and physics exhibits are half working. We’re thinking it would be great fun to put the wooden blocks from the physics place into the lightening arcs of the Tesla coil and see what fun would result. There is a new exhibit: Wings Attempting to Fly. It has a place to fly balsa airplanes, an area where the staff are attempting to build an actual plane (“Tab A into fuselage B? What’s a fuselage?”), and a mock control tower. The kids soaked all of the knowledge in for approximately five minutes before being bored to death. We retreated to the kids town in the basement (appropriately enough) where they ran around, creating way more energy than Florida Power and Light can dream about. We finally retired to the café, spending approximately the GDP of Guatemala for a cheese sandwich, ham-on-toast, and fries.
Day 3 (Thursday):
Again conserving cash, we snoozed through breakfast (yeup, missed the McGriddle at McDonald’s again) and picked up Diane’s sister. Cleverly, she had foisted her two sons off on the local school bus, so it was only her. We stopped by the bowling lanes for some excitement and pretty much the only time when bowling is actually available to the public (motto: “No, it’s league bowling; get out.”). The gourmet food is surpassed only by the astounding scores achieved (300, if you add up five people across two games).
School called and explained that they are releasing the kids for the days, and they have more kids on standby if need be. We booked it down to just south of International Drive but north of Disney on I-4 where Arabian Nights is located. They put on a fantastic show of horses and costumes, all the while serving dinner. The kids are amazed, being this is the first time they’ve seen it.
Day 4 (Friday):
We managed to wake up earlier today, mostly owing to the fact that we were switching hotels tonight and the Holiday Inn has a policy of “get out” when your stay is done. The contents of the suitcases barely manage to fit back in; the rest we threw on unwitting passers-by from our second story deck. We exchanged luggage for Mary and her kids, who have developed a strange sickness, curable only by time on a local beach. Daytona is overrun by Spring Breakers so we took the back roads to New Smyrna. We paid the $5 and settled in at Canaveral National Beach. The sand was clean, the walkway was done with fake (non-splintering) wood, and the restroom only rated “gross/disgusting” rather than “unusable”. The sun managed to find odds parts of our bodies to burn that we didn’t manage to get suntan lotion on. This would include Josh’s entire back, part of Diane’s back, and spots around Kevin’s neck making him look like an endangered species.
We ended the night at Pirate’s dinner show on International Drive. Our pirate was a wimp, but he at least cheated and ensured that we won the contests. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the princess at the end of the show, so we appropriately skewered him and toss him in the brig. We ended up at the Altamonte Springs Hilton for the night and finally get to sleep about 1:30 a.m.
Day 5 (Saturday):
It’s an important day today: we had to make it to Tampa in just two short hours to arrive on a boat that will bring us to…Tampa in five days. As the cruise director later informed us, the major difference is that we arrived passengers and will depart as cargo. We again packed the luggage into the suitcases (“We brought this?”) and drove down I-4 where we immediately got stuck in road destruction. It took an hour to get from south of Disney to Plant City, averaging about 5 miles an hour. The eventual cause turned out to be three construction workers who have shut westbound I-4 to one lane to see what would happen. Their lifeless bodies were later hung from a crane and broadcast on the 6:00 p.m. news (Just kidding here folks). We lamented about tourists and raced down the remaining stretch of the highway, ensuring that we purposely did not signal and maintained the minimum safe distance of two or three inches.
The directions to the port were impeccable and the luggage drop off was quick and accurate. The car got parked in the neighboring garage and we walked in to wait in the check-in line. Although it stretched some two miles, Carnival had staffed the desk with many agents and the line moved quickly. There were a couple of security checkpoints, all of which wouldn’t catch anything but the common cold and we swiftly arrived in our cabin.
The boat is big, bright, and fun. We immediately got down to business: trying to find food before we starve—after all, it had been ten minutes and we’re famished. The cabin was quite large and well appointed. The bathroom as also quite large; there were two single beds (which were later moved together) and two doubles that folded down (Pullman, for those of you who can remember such things). There were night lights/reading lights in many clever places so that one or two could stay up but the main lights do not need to be on. Both the cabin door and bathroom door had magnets to keep them open when necessary. For an older ship, it’s very well maintained.
The mandatory “Go Here in Case of Emergency, Other Than Starvation” drill is held shortly after we stepped onto the boat. They don’t bother showing us the lifeboats; the theory is that the crew will simply toss us overboard and we’ll sink like bricks. They did manage to show us how the buckle on our fashionable floatation devices, in case we’d never seen one before. NOTE FROM DIANE: The kids have to wear wristbands during the whole cruise that have their muster station on them. We told our five year old that she had to wear it the whole cruise and she threw a hissy fit. She thought she had to wear her life vest all week. She was NOT pleased. http://messages.cruisecritic.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
We attended the children indoctrination camp meeting, dressed up for dinner (i.e. put on shoes), and danced songs with the kids that will remain in our heads the rest of the night (Follow the leader, leader, leader). Seeking respite from the arduous schedule, we ducked into the theatre where a seven piece band plays until a single game of Bingo interrupts. The recreation crew introduces themselves in accented English and throws out freebies; Kenzie got a small towel animal (after beating another passenger severely for it). A quick and embarrassing game was played with eight passengers and then the night wound up with a comedienne. She was very good and we’ll see her more “adult” version tomorrow night.
Of course, it’s midnight and we desperate for any news of food. We found relief at the midnight buffet and make our way to bed. Diane had great foresight, so we have a battery operated alarm clock to repeatedly press snooze on in the morning…
Day 6 (Sunday):
Today finds us adrift at sea, with nothing to do but be entertained and eat. To break the boredom, Diane got sick and attempted to gross out the steward, but to little avail: he’d seen worse. Kevin hogged up the laundry room with eighteen loads of laundry that would normally be done by a single wash, but took up all the washers in the launderette. We eventually made our way up to the Seaview dining room (famished, again) and out to the pool. Josh tested out the slide (very cool) and then on to the kiddie pool out back. Josh and Kenzie enjoyed it, until the motion of the boat caused the water to slosh around and we lost a couple of kids. Carnival immediately closed the pool and issued vouchers for replacement kids at the next port. (Kidding again folks...no kids were harmed in the making of this review.)
Today was definitely a rough day at sea; the motion o’ the ocean was noticeable throughout the ship, and especially in people continually walking into hallway walls. Were later told there were 10-15 foot seas). We attribute most of the motion to the lead foot of the captain who has little desire to spend time in open water or is determined to break speed records with a vessel large as most Motel 6’s.
Day 7 (Monday):
We found ourselves at the Cayman Islands today. For a foreign country, we’re fortunate: they spoke heavily accented English. Unfortunately, they’ve grown up driving on the wrong side of the road. The only solution will be to invade and take over the island at some future point. We were hoping to swim with the sting rays, but because of the unforeseen occurrence of wind, all sting ray tours were cancelled. Diane and Kenzie stayed on the boat because Diane was just now starting to feel better. Kevin and Josh braved the five minute tender ride to at least visit “Hell”, a black limestone formation (Josh: “Yay, rocks.”); the turtle farm (got some pictures of Josh holding an actual turtle; and part of the seven mile beach. The beach was just like in the brochures with its crystal clear water and blue skies. We made sure to bring back some Cayman sand, mostly in our swim trunks.
At the evening show, we watched a magician/illusionist and his underfed model as they performed amazingly simple acts of illusion. The best act was when they disappeared from the stage.
Day 8 (Tuesday):
The boat docked at the Isle of Cozumel today. There is no question that Cozumel is a tourist trap; it was entirely set up to separate us from our money as quickly as possible. We booked the lazy bus tour of the island. Cozumel is 25 miles by 8 miles: roughly a rectangle with a horn at the north end. Except for the main town, the island is essentially a jungle. Our tour guide was Moy, who has chosen a good line of work. He spoke English well and acquainted us with the history of the island (as much as could be explained in such a short time). We ended up at the main museum that had a total of four rooms. They are well done and most of them have English translations.
Obviously, the next time we go to a foreign country, we’ll need to learn the language. We were the typical clueless tourists, handing wads of money to anybody to get them away from us. And for reasons unknown, precious stones were all the rage in Cozumel. There were Diamonds International, Buckets O’ Emeralds, Tanzanite City, etc. We figured that Wal-Mart would be just fine, and less pushy.
We’re amazed by the difference in cultures: Grand Cayman is a colony of Britain (even if they can’t drive correctly) where it is safe to drink the water, and Cozumel’s definition of “public works” is moving the street lights that have fallen down.
For those that haven’t been, we did learn some interesting tidbits of culture in Cozumel.
Roads do not have lines on them, but there is little loss as nobody abides by them anyway.
The dollar is the official currency of Cozumel, despite what Mexico City may say about the Peso.
Roads are just clearings that were once paved, but back in Mayan times.
Diet Coke is known and marketed as “Coca Cola Light”.
Sidewalks are for vending, not walking.
Disposable cameras are rare in Cozumel, which is why it cost veinte dollars.
Paint covers anything.
Day 9 (Wednesday):
Today was our last at sea day. It took us maybe fifteen minutes to arrive close to the port of Tampa, and then the captain just put it on autopilot to swim in circles. We enjoyed a leisurely lunch (breakfast was too early). The highlight of the day was split between the “grab bag” game which ended up with Kevin being one of three men to be dressed up in a dress (let’s just not go there—it was entirely embarrassing running the entire length of the ship in a dress from the theatre to the cabin) and the passenger talent show. We also did a Dr. Ruth sex game where Diane won second place...not too shabby eh? There was a dance troupe of 14-18 year-old’s from Connecticut who tried (and failed) to impress us; we clapped when they were done. The most impressive was an old (senior?) lady who told the story of Prinderella and the Cince by mixing the beginning sounds of words in a sentence.
We ended the day by attempting to fit everything into the same number of suitcases we had brought on board, assuring ourselves that absolutely everything was a necessity.
Day 10 (Thursday):
Today was the final day. It started by Kevin having a sore throat and subsequent laryngitis from the drainage. Diane packed the last bag of toiletries, papers, gifts, receipts, clothes, and everything else that had escaped the previous night’s ordeal. At the appointed time, we trudged to the forward theatre where we waited in arctic temperatures for two hours before debarking (sounds like something you’d do to a forest). This is where NCL has it way over Carnival. With NCL you stay in your cabin relaxing until they call your luggage tag color. With Carnival you have to vacate your room by 8:45 AM and wait FOREVER in a cold lounge to get off of the ship).They have a new program, just implemented especially in time for us, where everybody who is clueless is allowed to get off the boat first. Of course, this clogs all the elevators and stairwells with half of the passengers, most of whom were asking, “Are we docked yet?” We finally got off at around 11 AM. Our luggage was on display in a large warehouse-style building, at the far end. Our interview with Customs lasted all of three seconds, most of which is reserved for waving us through.
We made it through I-4 with only minimal road rage at people who have yet to figure out which pedal moves the car forward. Of course we’re famished, so we hit up a local McD’s for nutrition-minded food (“no carbs in the fries, right?”).
We crashed at the Renaissance hotel, opposite SeaWorld; it’s the one with the blue roof that is easily visible from I-4. It had a large room, much larger than we’d really ever stayed in (other hotels usually calls rooms this big “an entire wing”). Only drawback here was the registration desk looked at us like we were vermin who should not be in their hotel. Whatever!
Day 11 (Friday):
Our final day, we woke up relatively early to do final packing (i.e. smooshing absolutely everything into suitcases that are groaning) and head to the airport. Fortunately, the Renaissance hotel is on the beeline which runs right by the airport. We again checked in through insecurity where they made Kenzie cry. They tried to console her with stickers, although this had about as much effect as applying bandaids to the Amazon river.
The flight from Orlando to Minneapolis/St. Paul was long, full, and over-quota on crying kids. I’m thinking that we should pass a regulation that allows for the stowage of crying kids whose parents won’t stop them from kicking the seat in front of them. The flight from Minn./St. Paul to Denver was blissfully empty (maybe 25% full) and rather quick (1 ½ hours). Although the weather service depicted Colorado as being sunk under the blizzard of the century, the flight was free from turbulence. As it turns out, it was a minor snowstorm that put maybe two or three inches of snow on the ground, except for the roads.
So, we’re back, safe and sound, and a little bit more rested.
We are back from the Sensation five day cruise. Overall we had a wonderful time. Let me just give my observations and then I'll post a funny review that my husband wrote up (funny but absolutely (mostly) true!):
* Despite what I read about the food being bad, we enjoyed it. We ate mostly in the buffet instead of the main dining room but found most food to be great.
* Yes, the ship is older but very well maintained.
* Yes, the ship is done in oranges and purples but it still looks nice.
* Not tons of kids running the ship - - a few yes but not bad.
* Camp Carnival is a godsend.
* The beds are so comfortable that I never wanted to get out of them.
* The infirmary staff was very helpful when I got sick.
* If you play in the casino, plan to donate money because you don't get much back.
* If you play bingo, you stand a better chance of winning when the pot is smaller. I won two games and $182 on a smaller day.
* The new cruise director Rebecca was okay...not great but good.
* Our room steward started off not being good but he got better as the cruise progressed.
* The cabins are very big for a cruise ship and slept four people comfortably.
* Make sure you take Purell and wash your hands religiously. We didn't do this and I got what I think was the Norwalk virus and my husband got a sore throat.
* Grand Cayman is gorgeous.
* Cozumel is touristy.
* One complaint about the pools. I have two kids. One is 11 and one is 5. They could never swim in the same pool because the main pool is too deep for my little one and the kids pool is too shallow for my 11 year old to have fun in. It would be nice to have a pool that both could use. Hot tubs were great.
* 24 hour pizza, ice cream, and deli was wonderful as was room service.
* I have now cruised with NCL and Carnival. My husband preferred Carnival and I preferred
NCL. Matter of activities involved on the cruise.
Okay, now for our review:
These are the continuing voyages of our family, on a quest to visit places never before seen (by us), to save the cruise line from wasting food, and to pretty much chill far away from the hub-bub of daily life.
Day 1 (Tuesday):
We arrived at the Denver airport with plenty of time to spare. The mandatory stupid question is asked by a neighboring passenger who asks—in front of a really big sign stating that boarding pass is needed to get through security—“Do I need a boarding pass?” Said passenger is immediately clubbed by bored TSA agents and tossed into the x-ray machine on the “fry” setting. We flew Northwest, which, in normal states of mind, is something I would do just after I plunged myself from a skyscraper given their incredible customer disservice history. We have a layover in Memphis, where everything has the face of Elvis on it. The Memphis airport is nice, clean, romancing the 60’s, and only slightly more claustrophobic than your average linen closet. The flight in from Denver was maybe 2/3’s full making for a pleasant trip. The flight from Memphis to Orlando is packed with the usual coterie of screaming kids. I’m tempted to open the exit row door with a nearby kid’s body for the safety demonstration. We arrive without incident in Orlando and quickly navigate to the luggage area where we wait until the next day for our luggage (which must have been routed through Hawaii).
NOTE FROM DIANE: We have kids too and don't have a problem with them normally but this kid was SCREAMING the whole trip and his mother only did the "Hush now" with him. Big pet peeve.
Hertz has a nice bus to whisk us to the rental area and we are upgraded to a Toyota Highlander. After opening the door, we immediately decided that it is really a large station wagon, reminding us of the Brady Bunch, and we’ll be buying one as soon as we get back home. (It has all the optional extras, such as wheels, windows, and a luggage rack for kids.) We crashed at the Holiday Inn in Altamonte Springs and blissfully fell asleep in about 0.1 seconds or so.
Day 2 (Wednesday):
We woke up for an early lunch, amazed that the four bags and thirteen carry-on pieces of essential luggage have overtaken the hotel room. We changed into fashionable swimming attire, looking much like “The Pasty White People” attempting water navigation, and headed towards the pool. After five minutes of hurricane force winds and pool water cold enough that the manatees were sitting on side wrapped in towels, we gave up and put on normal clothes.
The car wound its way through Orlando and down to the Science Center. Fortunately, we have an annual pass (yes, to a place about 2,000 miles away from home), which saved us from the normal shock of “We paid for this?”. The electrical and physics exhibits are half working. We’re thinking it would be great fun to put the wooden blocks from the physics place into the lightening arcs of the Tesla coil and see what fun would result. There is a new exhibit: Wings Attempting to Fly. It has a place to fly balsa airplanes, an area where the staff are attempting to build an actual plane (“Tab A into fuselage B? What’s a fuselage?”), and a mock control tower. The kids soaked all of the knowledge in for approximately five minutes before being bored to death. We retreated to the kids town in the basement (appropriately enough) where they ran around, creating way more energy than Florida Power and Light can dream about. We finally retired to the café, spending approximately the GDP of Guatemala for a cheese sandwich, ham-on-toast, and fries.
Day 3 (Thursday):
Again conserving cash, we snoozed through breakfast (yeup, missed the McGriddle at McDonald’s again) and picked up Diane’s sister. Cleverly, she had foisted her two sons off on the local school bus, so it was only her. We stopped by the bowling lanes for some excitement and pretty much the only time when bowling is actually available to the public (motto: “No, it’s league bowling; get out.”). The gourmet food is surpassed only by the astounding scores achieved (300, if you add up five people across two games).
School called and explained that they are releasing the kids for the days, and they have more kids on standby if need be. We booked it down to just south of International Drive but north of Disney on I-4 where Arabian Nights is located. They put on a fantastic show of horses and costumes, all the while serving dinner. The kids are amazed, being this is the first time they’ve seen it.
Day 4 (Friday):
We managed to wake up earlier today, mostly owing to the fact that we were switching hotels tonight and the Holiday Inn has a policy of “get out” when your stay is done. The contents of the suitcases barely manage to fit back in; the rest we threw on unwitting passers-by from our second story deck. We exchanged luggage for Mary and her kids, who have developed a strange sickness, curable only by time on a local beach. Daytona is overrun by Spring Breakers so we took the back roads to New Smyrna. We paid the $5 and settled in at Canaveral National Beach. The sand was clean, the walkway was done with fake (non-splintering) wood, and the restroom only rated “gross/disgusting” rather than “unusable”. The sun managed to find odds parts of our bodies to burn that we didn’t manage to get suntan lotion on. This would include Josh’s entire back, part of Diane’s back, and spots around Kevin’s neck making him look like an endangered species.
We ended the night at Pirate’s dinner show on International Drive. Our pirate was a wimp, but he at least cheated and ensured that we won the contests. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the princess at the end of the show, so we appropriately skewered him and toss him in the brig. We ended up at the Altamonte Springs Hilton for the night and finally get to sleep about 1:30 a.m.
Day 5 (Saturday):
It’s an important day today: we had to make it to Tampa in just two short hours to arrive on a boat that will bring us to…Tampa in five days. As the cruise director later informed us, the major difference is that we arrived passengers and will depart as cargo. We again packed the luggage into the suitcases (“We brought this?”) and drove down I-4 where we immediately got stuck in road destruction. It took an hour to get from south of Disney to Plant City, averaging about 5 miles an hour. The eventual cause turned out to be three construction workers who have shut westbound I-4 to one lane to see what would happen. Their lifeless bodies were later hung from a crane and broadcast on the 6:00 p.m. news (Just kidding here folks). We lamented about tourists and raced down the remaining stretch of the highway, ensuring that we purposely did not signal and maintained the minimum safe distance of two or three inches.
The directions to the port were impeccable and the luggage drop off was quick and accurate. The car got parked in the neighboring garage and we walked in to wait in the check-in line. Although it stretched some two miles, Carnival had staffed the desk with many agents and the line moved quickly. There were a couple of security checkpoints, all of which wouldn’t catch anything but the common cold and we swiftly arrived in our cabin.
The boat is big, bright, and fun. We immediately got down to business: trying to find food before we starve—after all, it had been ten minutes and we’re famished. The cabin was quite large and well appointed. The bathroom as also quite large; there were two single beds (which were later moved together) and two doubles that folded down (Pullman, for those of you who can remember such things). There were night lights/reading lights in many clever places so that one or two could stay up but the main lights do not need to be on. Both the cabin door and bathroom door had magnets to keep them open when necessary. For an older ship, it’s very well maintained.
The mandatory “Go Here in Case of Emergency, Other Than Starvation” drill is held shortly after we stepped onto the boat. They don’t bother showing us the lifeboats; the theory is that the crew will simply toss us overboard and we’ll sink like bricks. They did manage to show us how the buckle on our fashionable floatation devices, in case we’d never seen one before. NOTE FROM DIANE: The kids have to wear wristbands during the whole cruise that have their muster station on them. We told our five year old that she had to wear it the whole cruise and she threw a hissy fit. She thought she had to wear her life vest all week. She was NOT pleased. http://messages.cruisecritic.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
We attended the children indoctrination camp meeting, dressed up for dinner (i.e. put on shoes), and danced songs with the kids that will remain in our heads the rest of the night (Follow the leader, leader, leader). Seeking respite from the arduous schedule, we ducked into the theatre where a seven piece band plays until a single game of Bingo interrupts. The recreation crew introduces themselves in accented English and throws out freebies; Kenzie got a small towel animal (after beating another passenger severely for it). A quick and embarrassing game was played with eight passengers and then the night wound up with a comedienne. She was very good and we’ll see her more “adult” version tomorrow night.
Of course, it’s midnight and we desperate for any news of food. We found relief at the midnight buffet and make our way to bed. Diane had great foresight, so we have a battery operated alarm clock to repeatedly press snooze on in the morning…
Day 6 (Sunday):
Today finds us adrift at sea, with nothing to do but be entertained and eat. To break the boredom, Diane got sick and attempted to gross out the steward, but to little avail: he’d seen worse. Kevin hogged up the laundry room with eighteen loads of laundry that would normally be done by a single wash, but took up all the washers in the launderette. We eventually made our way up to the Seaview dining room (famished, again) and out to the pool. Josh tested out the slide (very cool) and then on to the kiddie pool out back. Josh and Kenzie enjoyed it, until the motion of the boat caused the water to slosh around and we lost a couple of kids. Carnival immediately closed the pool and issued vouchers for replacement kids at the next port. (Kidding again folks...no kids were harmed in the making of this review.)
Today was definitely a rough day at sea; the motion o’ the ocean was noticeable throughout the ship, and especially in people continually walking into hallway walls. Were later told there were 10-15 foot seas). We attribute most of the motion to the lead foot of the captain who has little desire to spend time in open water or is determined to break speed records with a vessel large as most Motel 6’s.
Day 7 (Monday):
We found ourselves at the Cayman Islands today. For a foreign country, we’re fortunate: they spoke heavily accented English. Unfortunately, they’ve grown up driving on the wrong side of the road. The only solution will be to invade and take over the island at some future point. We were hoping to swim with the sting rays, but because of the unforeseen occurrence of wind, all sting ray tours were cancelled. Diane and Kenzie stayed on the boat because Diane was just now starting to feel better. Kevin and Josh braved the five minute tender ride to at least visit “Hell”, a black limestone formation (Josh: “Yay, rocks.”); the turtle farm (got some pictures of Josh holding an actual turtle; and part of the seven mile beach. The beach was just like in the brochures with its crystal clear water and blue skies. We made sure to bring back some Cayman sand, mostly in our swim trunks.
At the evening show, we watched a magician/illusionist and his underfed model as they performed amazingly simple acts of illusion. The best act was when they disappeared from the stage.
Day 8 (Tuesday):
The boat docked at the Isle of Cozumel today. There is no question that Cozumel is a tourist trap; it was entirely set up to separate us from our money as quickly as possible. We booked the lazy bus tour of the island. Cozumel is 25 miles by 8 miles: roughly a rectangle with a horn at the north end. Except for the main town, the island is essentially a jungle. Our tour guide was Moy, who has chosen a good line of work. He spoke English well and acquainted us with the history of the island (as much as could be explained in such a short time). We ended up at the main museum that had a total of four rooms. They are well done and most of them have English translations.
Obviously, the next time we go to a foreign country, we’ll need to learn the language. We were the typical clueless tourists, handing wads of money to anybody to get them away from us. And for reasons unknown, precious stones were all the rage in Cozumel. There were Diamonds International, Buckets O’ Emeralds, Tanzanite City, etc. We figured that Wal-Mart would be just fine, and less pushy.
We’re amazed by the difference in cultures: Grand Cayman is a colony of Britain (even if they can’t drive correctly) where it is safe to drink the water, and Cozumel’s definition of “public works” is moving the street lights that have fallen down.
For those that haven’t been, we did learn some interesting tidbits of culture in Cozumel.
Roads do not have lines on them, but there is little loss as nobody abides by them anyway.
The dollar is the official currency of Cozumel, despite what Mexico City may say about the Peso.
Roads are just clearings that were once paved, but back in Mayan times.
Diet Coke is known and marketed as “Coca Cola Light”.
Sidewalks are for vending, not walking.
Disposable cameras are rare in Cozumel, which is why it cost veinte dollars.
Paint covers anything.
Day 9 (Wednesday):
Today was our last at sea day. It took us maybe fifteen minutes to arrive close to the port of Tampa, and then the captain just put it on autopilot to swim in circles. We enjoyed a leisurely lunch (breakfast was too early). The highlight of the day was split between the “grab bag” game which ended up with Kevin being one of three men to be dressed up in a dress (let’s just not go there—it was entirely embarrassing running the entire length of the ship in a dress from the theatre to the cabin) and the passenger talent show. We also did a Dr. Ruth sex game where Diane won second place...not too shabby eh? There was a dance troupe of 14-18 year-old’s from Connecticut who tried (and failed) to impress us; we clapped when they were done. The most impressive was an old (senior?) lady who told the story of Prinderella and the Cince by mixing the beginning sounds of words in a sentence.
We ended the day by attempting to fit everything into the same number of suitcases we had brought on board, assuring ourselves that absolutely everything was a necessity.
Day 10 (Thursday):
Today was the final day. It started by Kevin having a sore throat and subsequent laryngitis from the drainage. Diane packed the last bag of toiletries, papers, gifts, receipts, clothes, and everything else that had escaped the previous night’s ordeal. At the appointed time, we trudged to the forward theatre where we waited in arctic temperatures for two hours before debarking (sounds like something you’d do to a forest). This is where NCL has it way over Carnival. With NCL you stay in your cabin relaxing until they call your luggage tag color. With Carnival you have to vacate your room by 8:45 AM and wait FOREVER in a cold lounge to get off of the ship).They have a new program, just implemented especially in time for us, where everybody who is clueless is allowed to get off the boat first. Of course, this clogs all the elevators and stairwells with half of the passengers, most of whom were asking, “Are we docked yet?” We finally got off at around 11 AM. Our luggage was on display in a large warehouse-style building, at the far end. Our interview with Customs lasted all of three seconds, most of which is reserved for waving us through.
We made it through I-4 with only minimal road rage at people who have yet to figure out which pedal moves the car forward. Of course we’re famished, so we hit up a local McD’s for nutrition-minded food (“no carbs in the fries, right?”).
We crashed at the Renaissance hotel, opposite SeaWorld; it’s the one with the blue roof that is easily visible from I-4. It had a large room, much larger than we’d really ever stayed in (other hotels usually calls rooms this big “an entire wing”). Only drawback here was the registration desk looked at us like we were vermin who should not be in their hotel. Whatever!
Day 11 (Friday):
Our final day, we woke up relatively early to do final packing (i.e. smooshing absolutely everything into suitcases that are groaning) and head to the airport. Fortunately, the Renaissance hotel is on the beeline which runs right by the airport. We again checked in through insecurity where they made Kenzie cry. They tried to console her with stickers, although this had about as much effect as applying bandaids to the Amazon river.
The flight from Orlando to Minneapolis/St. Paul was long, full, and over-quota on crying kids. I’m thinking that we should pass a regulation that allows for the stowage of crying kids whose parents won’t stop them from kicking the seat in front of them. The flight from Minn./St. Paul to Denver was blissfully empty (maybe 25% full) and rather quick (1 ½ hours). Although the weather service depicted Colorado as being sunk under the blizzard of the century, the flight was free from turbulence. As it turns out, it was a minor snowstorm that put maybe two or three inches of snow on the ground, except for the roads.
So, we’re back, safe and sound, and a little bit more rested.