A HAL Buy-Out

[hammybee]

I read HAL has the greatest number of repeat cruisers in the industry. Even though, it is not enough for HAL to maintain 100+% occupancy, so they need to reach out to new blood and do so, at a competitive price.

To sail at a competitive price and be profitable, HAL needs to promote incremental passenger spending and cut back on or charge more for some of those things, some of us take for granted. This puts HAL at odds with us loyal Mariners.

HAL's market research has shown the that the new blood generally prefers more casual attire and more flexibility in dining times. This puts HAL at odds with us loyal Mariners.

As loyal Mariners we need to decide, here and now, if we are going to take this lying down or do something about it. Here is one idea:

We, the loyal Mariners are going to self fund, in the form of interest free loans, and buy back HAL from CCL. We will operate HAL as a not-for-profit cruise line and will do it, our way, maintaining the traditions.

We need to form an auxillary for fund raising and operation of on board gift shops, popcorn vending, lido service, coffee service, pursers office and what not. There will be perky Yum-Yum ladies at dinner every evening. We will read every Passenger Service Comment card. Those that we don't like will go on a mailing list that we will sell to CCL.

To sustain the not-for-profit status, we need tens of thousands of volunteer hours a year. To acknowledge the time, we will give credit for each hour spent in service while onboard and award cool stuff to those with the most hours served.

Bingo pays so it stays but we won't intrude on any passenger's experience so we wil not announce it. It might be necessary, from time to time, to sell raffle tickets for PG dinners, tips included, of course.

The Auxillary will also operate the onboard formal attire shop that will have donated but always fashionable formal wear for trade. This will allow all passengers to dress appropriately, without lugging the formal wear from home. Each hallway will have volunteer inspectors to make certain that all pasengers adhere to the dress code or stay put in their cabins where they belong. We will think of everything.

We will only serve food that we like and it will always be prepared to perfection and served by the best waitestaff on the high seas. It will be necessary to vote if the Parade of Baked Alaska continues or not.

Because HAL will be our cruise line and we want the best crew, we will occasionally host Crew Appreciation sails. The best of the best, as determined from the Customer Satisfaction Surveys, will be invited, along with their families to sail, as our guests. It will be our privledge to serve those that served so well.

Periodically,fabulous gala cruises will be planned and feature special entertainment, only of the kind that we like. The net proceeds will be targeted for designated improvements, only the ones we agree upon. We can market sponsorships for each sailing and give those doners a hearty round of applause and plug or two in the daily bulletin. If we come upon harder times, we might have to consider allowing corporate sponsorship of some improvements. When we do so, we will make certain that the sponsor's name is discretely embroidered in the seams of the tablecloths and napkins and acknowledged in kind.

Being not-for-profit also means that we will need to enable cruising for the disadvantaged that would otherwise not be able to cruise with HAL. We are going to need a committee to figure out the criteria for this and award cruises to those in need and make sure that only those that will respect the HAL experience are allowed. It has the potential to change lives.

Because we Mariners are all kinds, we need to figure out the smoking thing and get it right. So some of the cruises will be designated as "if you got em, smoke em" and other cruises will not allow it anywhere, at any time. It might be necessary to separate the red from the white wine drinkers too.

Weather and sea conditions can impact passenger satisfaction. So if it's necessary to skip a port, arrive late, depart early or incur a little roll, we will rebate unhappy passengers @ 5 X the cost of their cruise.

We will sail free of payload, rather than risk group sales to people we don't like or take on charters, lest we dissappoint a passenger that might be thinking about a given cruise. It's the cost of doing business, our way.

We will only sail to ports we like. If enough of us are willing to lead shore excursions and drive the buses, we can probably offer shore excursions at a bargain. Every bus will have 2 back ups to pick up those passengers that missed the first, or in case of a breakdown.

We will have to sort out our rules about bringing onboard hard alcohol, soda, wine, beer, jeans, tank tops, blenders, irons, unkind passengers, boomboxes, thongs, baseball caps, toasters, chewing gum, cranky kids and sewing machines. Once we do, we will maintain a Zero Tolerence Policy.

It's up to us loyal Mariners to maintain the traditions of HAL. Can we count on you?

[codyody]

How to I join the Auxillary? I'll even donate DH's too-small tux!

[hammybee]

How to I join the Auxillary? I'll even donate DH's too-small tux!
You are leading by example and are now a charter member of the Auxillary.
Do you have the time to recruit the Yum -Yum lady volunteers?

[kryos]

LOL ... I realize your post was tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it too. We like things as they are ... and that's probably a big part of the reason why we sail HAL ... it suits our preferences. But, those new builds ... bigger and "better" mean that HAL has to bring lots of "fresh meat" onboard, and many of those people are not going to see things the way many of us do. Hence, HAL is gonna change to get them onboard by meeting their needs. Their demands, I am sure, include flexible dining times and a more casual onboard atmosphere. HAL wouldn't be instituting those changes unless a vast majority of the comment cards were calling for them. True, HAL still maintains the nightly dress codes, but truthfully, when was the last time you saw someone turned away from the dining room on formal night if they were dressed fairly decently, but definitely not formal? You won't see it any longer either ... of that I am pretty sure. In fact, I've said it before, but I'd be willing to bet within the next year or so you're gonna see formal nights become optional, at least on the Vista class ships. Change is in the wind already. Notice how the prohibition against jeans in the dining room has been dropped on casual nights?

So what do we do about it?

Well, we could opt for your solution, which is not likely, or we can start trying some other cruise lines that may meet our needs more effectively. The only other options are to learn to live with the changes and to embrace them, or else simply stop sailing altogether.

For me personally, I guess I will continue to sail HAL, but stay away from the shorter cruises and the Vista class ships. That will work for a while ... but eventually all HAL will have is large ships with mostly shorter sailings. I'd bet most of the other mass market type cruise lines will be the same. So, I guess when that day comes, I just won't be cruising anymore and will have to find another vacation alternative. Such is the nature of change.

Blue skies ...

--rita

[shipshapegal]

You are leading by example and are now a charter member of the Auxillary.
Do you have the time to recruit the Yum -Yum lady volunteers?

Yum - Yum lady volunteer here! (Do I get to sample the snacks?)

[SDHALFAN]

We need to form an auxillary for fund raising and operation of on board gift shops, popcorn vending, lido service, coffee service, pursers office and what not. There will be perky Yum-Yum ladies at dinner every evening. We will read every Passenger Service Comment card. Those that we don't like will go on a mailing list that we will sell to CCL.

To sustain the not-for-profit status, we need tens of thousands of volunteer hours a year. To acknowledge the time, we will give credit for each hour spent in service while onboard and award cool stuff to those with the most hours served.

It's up to us loyal Mariners to maintain the traditions of HAL. Can we count on you?


Where do I sign up?

Valerie:D

[elmorejj]

I`ll work the Ocean Bar, no 15% service charge of course, I`ll take my tips in Scotch and water.............jean:cool:

[Grampy]

LOL ... I realize your post was tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it too. We like things as they are ... and that's probably a big part of the reason why we sail HAL ... it suits our preferences. But, those new builds ... bigger and "better" mean that HAL has to bring lots of "fresh meat" onboard,

Blue skies ...

--rita

I haven't been called "fresh meat" in a long time. I don't think that I've ever been called that but I think I like it. :p

This will be our first cruise on Hal. I'm sure that we will fit right in. We always have a great time on a cruise. :D

[Bodger]

I will volunteer for the thong judging comittee.:D

Bodger

[Hojo's redbeard]

Change in life is inevitable, it is constant and unstoppable, those who embrace it are happiest (and usually successful as a result). Obviously there weren't enough Loyal Mariners that yearn for the traditionalism of HAL that most so whistfully yearn for. If there were, HAL wouldn't be implementing any changes.

Here is a suggestion for all of the HAL traditionalist old time Mariners: Charter a HAL ship. Since you would be chartering the ship, you could have the old time rules in force. You won't have to worry about jeans in the dining room, non-formal dress on formal nights, etc. You just have to find enough people that like you yearn for the old HAL of your memories and make it happen. It'd be a lot easier than coming up with the $15 Billion+ to buy it back from CCL.

[The Tsar]

...Obviously there weren't enough Loyal Mariners that yearn for the traditionalism of HAL that most so whistfully yearn for....

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners, then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?

[Hojo's redbeard]

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners, then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?

Not all Mariners are created equally. From what I've read, there aren't anywhere near 80-90% full tilt formalwear on formal night. Also, if they had so many loyals, they wouldn't have had to sell off cabins so cheap to fill up the ships this fall. My suggestion of the charter was for people that long whistfully for the type of cruising environment hammybee's original post eluded to.

[RuthC]

hammybee, as always, you can count on me. I'll even volunteer double shifts if that's what it takes. :)

You will also put me in charge of quality control---chocolate division, I presume? ;)

Oh, and may I bring my cat? :D

[cruisinjudy]

I need to bring my cat and my dog, and they aren't always happy to be in the same room, so I will need two rooms. The penthouse suite might do.

[Sunshine91]

Weather and sea conditions can impact passenger satisfaction. So if it's necessary to skip a port, arrive late, depart early or incur a little roll, we will rebate unhappy passengers @ 5 X the cost of their cruise.

Hammy - A true Mariner knows that this is a very real possibility, so this clause is unnecessary in the contract of carriage. ;) :D

I have several formals (worn once or twice on cruises or to weddings, New Years, things like that) to donate to the formalwear shop onboard. Am currently shopping e-Bay to replenish my supply, so am ready, willing & able to join the Ladies' Auxilliary. Please sign me up.

I read the initial post to John. He was horrified to learn that thongs would not be permitted onboard. Had to explain to him that it was the public wearing of the thongs that would not be allowed. Then he understood. ;) (I'm not sayin' any more.)

[hammybee]

Yum - Yum lady volunteer here! (Do I get to sample the snacks?)

You may have a fig, my dear.

[RuthC]

What's the matter with thongs? :confused: I've had them on my feet all day. I always wear them when heading to the pool,

[hammybee]

Where do I sign up?

Valerie:D

OK Val. You get to be in charge of the Passenger Service Cards and decide which ones we keep and those that we sell to CCL.

[hammybee]

I`ll work the Ocean Bar, no 15% service charge of course, I`ll take my tips in Scotch and water.............jean:cool:

Jean, you own the Ocean Bar and a scotch a day keeps the doctor away, so we don't a dam doctor onboard.

[hammybee]

I haven't been called "fresh meat" in a long time. I don't think that I've ever been called that but I think I like it. :p

This will be our first cruise on Hal. I'm sure that we will fit right in. We always have a great time on a cruise. :D

Thank you Grampy for volunteering to be the onboard butcher.

[hammybee]

I will volunteer for the thong judging comittee.:D

Bodger

Just keep them out of the dining rooms.

[hammybee]

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners, then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?

You and the Hojo are going to have to take it outside. This is my silly thread and I am not going to have anyone bring it down. Go start your own thread.
Go one now, ya hear ( as she picks up the broom)

[hammybee]

hammybee, as always, you can count on me. I'll even volunteer double shifts if that's what it takes. :)

You will also put me in charge of quality control---chocolate division, I presume? ;)

Oh, and may I bring my cat? :D

You are in charge of all things chocolate. If you must bring a dam cat, please keep it out of the fruit bowls.

[hammybee]

I need to bring my cat and my dog, and they aren't always happy to be in the same room, so I will need two rooms. The penthouse suite might do.

I said this was a not-for-profit cruise line. Therefore you can book as many cabins as you and the animals need. I think the separate cabins thing should be a rule, else we might end up HALNOAH's ARK.

[tim agg]

I'm willing to do back-up bar-keeping in the Ocean Bar and be the Sommelier in the Dining Room (and Pinnacle)......If we owned the ships, surely we could keep ship's cats! (Better that kitty munch up the hot appetizers than me!)

[hammybee]

Hammy - A true Mariner knows that this is a very real possibility, so this clause is unnecessary in the contract of carriage. ;) :D

I have several formals (worn once or twice on cruises or to weddings, New Years, things like that) to donate to the formalwear shop onboard. Am currently shopping e-Bay to replenish my supply, so am ready, willing & able to join the Ladies' Auxilliary. Please sign me up.

You are right about what true Mariners know. Heck, we don't even need a contract of carry which saves us the cost of a lawyer.

You and Codyody ( don't you like the way that rolls off your tongue) are the co-chairs of The Formal Exchange.
P.S. I am hammybee on eBay too.

[hammybee]

I'm willing to do back-up bar-keeping in the Ocean Bar and be the Sommelier in the Dining Room (and Pinnacle)......If we owned the ships, surely we could keep ship's cats! (Better that kitty munch up the hot appetizers than me!)

That's the volunteer spirit and now that you mentioned it, you are also in charge of restoring the appetizers to the way they were. Just don't let on that we are using cat meat to control costs.

[middle-aged mom]

Hammy:

Do I qualify? I only have one HAL cruise under my belt. Maybe there's a spot for me washing dishes in the galley? If I work hard perhaps I could be promoted to pastry chef?:) However, I would refuse to make Baked Alaska.:eek:

Karin

[serendipity1499]

You and the Hojo are going to have to take it outside. This is my silly thread and I am not going to have anyone bring it down. Go start your own thread.
Go one now, ya hear ( as she picks up the broom)


I'll help too! Sign me up for fly swatter duty! I have a very large one to keep the pests in Jeans & the Seat & Row Savers out of Queens Lounge...

You 'll need a few Yum Yum Ladies, so I'm volunteering as long as I can wear the cute little red costume (short skirt) with a Pillbox Hat & ring those bells too..

Now please tell me where to send my $1.00 to get this take-over bid started..


LOL:D :) :D .

[hammybee]

Hammy:

Do I qualify? I only have one HAL cruise under my belt. Maybe there's a spot for me washing dishes in the galley? If I work hard perhaps I could be promoted to pastry chef?:) However, I would refuse to make Baked Alaska.:eek: Karin

Karin,
We have a special job just for you. Assuming we allow children on board, would you consider running the HAL club? Instead of letting them run wild, teach them to read and write, and we'll have more business that we can shake a Baked Alaska at.

[hammybee]

I'll help too! Sign me up for fly swatter duty! I have a very large one to keep the pests in Jeans & the Seat & Row Savers out of Queens Lounge...

You 'll need a few Yum Yum Ladies, so I'm volunteering as long as I can wear the cute little red costume (short skirt) with a Pillbox Hat & ring those bells too..

Now please tell me where to send my $1.00 to get this take-over bid started..


LOL:D :) :D .
You and your swatter will come in handy as we traverse the Panama Canal. I had not even thought about the pesky seat and row savers so you are now in charge on onboard Seat Security.

All of a sudden EVERYONE wants to be a YUM-Yum lady. If you promice to wear the pill box, slightly askew, (the only way a pill box should be worn in my book), we will let you have a ring at the bells.

Hang onto your checkbook. I invited Wyncruiser from another thread to come visit us here. He/she is solid CFO material.

[middle-aged mom]

Karin,
We have a special job just for you. Assuming we allow children on board, would you consider running the HAL club? Instead of letting them run wild, teach them to read and write, and we'll have more business that we can shake a Baked Alaska at.

No, no, Hammy, you are too gentle and civilized. We wouldn't want the little darlin's to run wild, but I do have an idea in mind:D

How about a naval academy? The kids would all be midshipmen, we could call it Club Hell-o, and they all have to earn their passage by swabbing decks, working in the engine room, and waiting on the ship's officers. They would have their own mess hall, and they'd bunk with the crew. Their parents would never have to see them, and the scurvy little rats would be too exhausted to make trouble. Hahaha, works for me.

I LOVE children.:p

Karin

[hammybee]

LOL ... I realize your post was tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it too. Blue skies ...--rita

Rita...........It has been noted in you permanent record that you have thus far failed to volunteer for an appropriate post, on the not-for-profit HAL line. If you do not tell us how you can be of service, we will have no choice but to make you Karen's assistant in the Kid's Club, for lunch and dinner duty.

[hammybee]

No, no, Hammy, you are too gentle and civilized. We wouldn't want the little darlin's to run wild, but I do have an idea in mind:D

How about a naval academy? The kids would all be midshipmen, we could call it Club Hell-o, and they all have to earn their passage by swabbing decks, working in the engine room, and waiting on the ship's officers. They would have their own mess hall, and they'd bunk with the crew. Their parents would never have to see them, and the scurvy little rats would be too exhausted to make trouble. Hahaha, works for me.

I LOVE children.:p

Karin

Karen,

It's initiative like this that gets noticed by the people on top. Your idea is brilliant. You have been promoted to Mistress of New Business Development. Parents the world over will be reserving cabin space decades in advance for the opportunity to wittness, a once in a lifetime event- seeing their precious children work. You may even make the cover of Time with this one. Congratulations.

Note to self: If we do not hear back from The Rita very soon, she is going to end up supervising food fights in the children's mess hall.

[WNYCRUISER]

Hang onto your checkbook. I invited Wyncruiser from another thread to come visit us here. He/she is solid CFO material.

Did I hear my name being called????

Or was that the chimes calling me to dinner?

[serendipity1499]

Goodnight Hammy...You gave me quite a chuckle tonight...I promise to wear my pillbox askew...Also will make you proud of my ability to control those Seat Hogs..Assume I'll wear a patch that says: "Seat Security"...

Hope you fill all those positions soon..Time to go to bed..
:cool: Happy Planning..Betty

P.S. Don't forget to let me know where to send my $1.00 to get the takeover bid started;) ...

[hammybee]

Goodnight Hammy...You gave me quite a chuckle tonight...I promise to wear my pillbox askew...Also will make you proud of my ability to control those Seat Hogs..Assume I'll wear a patch that says: "Seat Security"...

Hope you fill all those positions soon..Time to go to bed..
:cool: Happy Planning..Betty

P.S. Don't forget to let me know where to send my $1.00 to get the takeover bid started;) ...

Great news Betty. You have done such an absolutely bang-up job of fund raising, you are now promoted to Mistress of Solicitations. The "seat patrol" patch will be forthcoming. Do you think you will need angry dogs? Please don't let the power go to your pillbox.

[hammybee]

Did I hear my name being called????

Or was that the chimes calling me to dinner?

It took you long enough ( as she tapped her toe to the floor)

Your keen understanding for all things numerical, positions you to be the CFO of this, THE GREATEST CRUISE LINE OF ALL. You will work closely with Serndipity 1499 who is, as I key this, using her pillbox to raise the capital to effect the buy-out.

[codyody]

As the original member of the Auxillary, I am soliciting donations of formal wear; we are especially in need of tuxedos; so far, only one (size 44) has been offered. There is also a need for more volinteers - so far, there are only 2 of us and how can we possibly be on deck to enjoy our pea soup is we're working all the time? Perhaps an on-deck shop? Hmmm. I can see this is going to take more thought...

[shipshapegal]

As the original Yum Yum gal, do I get to wear my hat on the port side, while all others must wear theirs starboard? (she nibbles a fig)

[kakalina]

Hammybee: Please, please let me be in charge of hiring the hunks for the entertainment on board. I promise, I'll pick one just for you. . .
I think Rita should be in charge of the library and of course, Greg for the
Chaplain. . .

[Normandie-BCN]

Atlantis organizes cruises for gay people and they could also organize traditional ones with every evening being formal.

[SnorkelBear]

Hi Hammy,

You've been a busy girl. Please put me down for ice bucket, coffee cups cat wrangling and Dr. Pepper provisioning.

[serendipity1499]

Great news Betty. You have done such an absolutely bang-up job of fund raising, you are now promoted to Mistress of Solicitations. The "seat patrol" patch will be forthcoming. Do you think you will need angry dogs? Please don't let the power go to your pillbox.

"Mistress of Solicitations" ! Looks like will have to get my French Maid's costume out..

Angry Dogs? Well will bring Brandy, but she's such a chicken, so might need help in that area..

Another good chuckle this morning:D :) ... I needed that..Thanks..Betty

[serendipity1499]

As the original member of the Auxillary, I am soliciting donations of formal wear; we are especially in need of tuxedos; so far, only one (size 44) has been offered. There is also a need for more volinteers - so far, there are only 2 of us and how can we possibly be on deck to enjoy our pea soup is we're working all the time? Perhaps an on-deck shop? Hmmm. I can see this is going to take more thought...

Ok Cody..Count me in!...Will volunteer to help so that makes 3...An on-deck shop (in the shade please) will be fine..

Will also donate 10 formals as soon as I lose the LBS :( needed to purchase new ones..Have been on a diet & the LBS should be off in 8 1/2 weeks...("D" Day on the Ryndam)..:) Betty

[AAAAmerican]

Well we may have too be retained for a M&A action . CTCO:OTC hired a firm, announced today 09/11/2006 .

A for profit would/may be the best form and have it in a shell corp until we are able to do the initial funding .. will that be through new Pinnacle Grill charges and icecream fees? .... just think what N C L makes selling even apple juice and erroneous Port Charges and fees .... *WOW* new fees.. a profit center...which Carnival CCL: NYSE may accept if they allow a percentage of the new HAL groups profits to be distributed to them and have board representation and control....:eek: And maybe any shareholder holding more than Ten Thousand shares, 10,000 SH will be allowed a SUITE for a day once a year....

Bermuda from NYC/NJ is still the most profitable run for any ships line.. so we would have to have more ship trips there... with the $39.00 r/t air fare we do have to compete for passengers... but what does a meal and room cost in the South Hampton Princess now?

[Grampy]

Thank you Grampy for volunteering to be the onboard butcher.

Lol, I thought that when Rita called me "fresh meat" I was "new blood" or a new cruiser on Hal. I didn't think I would find a job so fast. If I'm the butcher we will have only Pinnacle Grill quality meat throughtout the ship. Also, I only cut in my shorts and I like music in the background.:D

[May4]

My hand is raised while jumping up and down in an eager fashion.....I want to be on this cruise line too:D !
This thread is hilarious. Now, let's see. What job may I have? I could volunteer to round up any passengers who are sour and cross. An appropriate committee could then decide what to do with them.

So, when do we sail?







:p

[serendipity1499]

My hand is raised while jumping up and down in an eager fashion.....I want to be on this cruise line too:D !
This thread is hilarious. Now, let's see. What job may I have? I could volunteer to round up any passengers who are sour and cross. An appropriate committee could then decide what to do with them.

So, when do we sail?
:p

I want to be on that committee & my vote would be:
"Let them walk the plank"..

Notice to all Prospective Share Holders:

As "Mistress of Solicitations" I insist that everyone, who desires to become a share-holder, immediately send in your $1.00 in order for us to get this take-over started.. This entitles each share-holder to one $2.00 shipboard credit per year,per cabin,per day...It makes no difference how many shares you have- Everyone is treated Equally..

It's up to you to find out where to send it..:confused:

[shipshapegal]

I want to be on that committee & my vote would be:
"Let them walk the plank"..

Notice to all Prospective Share Holders:

As "Mistress of Solicitations" I insist that everyone, who desires to become a share-holder, immediately send in your $1.00 in order for us to get this take-over started.. This entitles each share-holder to one $2.00 shipboard credit per year,per cabin,per day...It makes no difference how many shares you have- Everyone is treated Equally..

It's up to you to find out where to send it..:confused:

Okay I just sent my dollar. Since I didn't know where to send it I just dropped it in a mailbox. I'm sure the postal service will figure out how to get it to you. (as she is still nibbling on a date with hat tipped to the port side)

[codyody]

Argh Mateys, make the dour and sour walk the plank.

[hammybee]

Hammybee: Please, please let me be in charge of hiring the hunks for the entertainment on board. I promise, I'll pick one just for you. . .
I think Rita should be in charge of the library and of course, Greg for the
Chaplain. . .

I appreciate the offer but we already have a Mistress of Solicitations, Serendipity1499.

[hammybee]

Atlantis organizes cruises for gay people and they could also organize traditional ones with every evening being formal.

They and Olivia also have better looking pax and entertainment but that is another thread for another time.

[hammybee]

Hi Hammy,

You've been a busy girl. Please put me down for ice bucket, coffee cups cat wrangling and Dr. Pepper provisioning.

Oh SnorkleBearGuy.

Is this your idea of an HAL ice bucket?

[hammybee]

Ok Cody..Count me in!...Will volunteer to help so that makes 3...An on-deck shop (in the shade please) will be fine..

Will also donate 10 formals as soon as I lose the LBS :( needed to purchase new ones..Have been on a diet & the LBS should be off in 8 1/2 weeks...("D" Day on the Ryndam)..:) Betty

Codyodyoo and Betty:
You guys are doing a swell job. Stay the course and those lbs. better not come my way.

[hammybee]

Well we may have too be retained for a M&A action . CTCO:OTC hired a firm, announced today 09/11/2006 .

A for profit would/may be the best form and have it in a shell corp until we are able to do the initial funding .. will that be through new Pinnacle Grill charges and icecream fees? .... just think what N C L makes selling even apple juice and erroneous Port Charges and fees .... *WOW* new fees.. a profit center...which Carnival CCL: NYSE may accept if they allow a percentage of the new HAL groups profits to be distributed to them and have board representation and control....:eek: And maybe any shareholder holding more than Ten Thousand shares, 10,000 SH will be allowed a SUITE for a day once a year....

Bermuda from NYC/NJ is still the most profitable run for any ships line.. so we would have to have more ship trips there... with the $39.00 r/t air fare we do have to compete for passengers... but what does a meal and room cost in the South Hampton Princess now?

Just because I love Bergen Cty,especially Allendale, Ridgewood,Ramsey, Mahwah, Upper, Middle and Down Under Saddle River ,you can be General Counsel and get the IO rolling.

[hammybee]

Lol, I thought that when Rita called me "fresh meat" I was "new blood" or a new cruiser on Hal. I didn't think I would find a job so fast. If I'm the butcher we will have only Pinnacle Grill quality meat throughtout the ship. Also, I only cut in my shorts and I like music in the background.:D

Tell me again, what is it you cut in your shorts?

[hammybee]

My hand is raised while jumping up and down in an eager fashion.....I want to be on this cruise line too:D !
This thread is hilarious. Now, let's see. What job may I have? I could volunteer to round up any passengers who are sour and cross. An appropriate committee could then decide what to do with them.

So, when do we sail?:p

May4,
We have studied your resume carefully and determined that your ability to raise your hand while jumping up and down uniquely qualifies you to be our fisrst cruise director.

[hammybee]

Okay I just sent my dollar. Since I didn't know where to send it I just dropped it in a mailbox. I'm sure the postal service will figure out how to get it to you. (as she is still nibbling on a date with hat tipped to the port side)


Are you "passing the buck?"

[hammybee]

Argh Mateys, make the dour and sour walk the plank.

I did not realize you were bilingual and could speal Pirateze.

[hammybee]

I was going to let my hopes and dreams for a not-for-profit HAL go today,

BUT, given this thread, at this moment, is in close proxcimity to threads about " Tradegdy in the News", "Guaranteed VD", "Sea Sickness", "Bad Insurance", "No Insurance/ Death" and this whole Florence and the Bermuda Triangel thing, I will continue to hope and plan for a better tomorrow.

" They forget ripe figs won't keep."
-D.H. Lawrence

[RuthC]

hammybee, I do hope you are having a good time with this thread. I know that you---and it---have given me a great deal of delight.

(think that'll get me a raise?:D :rolleyes: :eek: ;) )

[Çay girl]

Hey, I'm "freshmeat" as this is my first HAL cruise, I've only done Celebrity in the past. But I have to tell you I LOVE, LOVE dressing up formal!! I love sequins and gowns even my 8 year old wears a "tux". I do love anything "old school" about cruising. Might I suggest a "bigband/swing music" style theme night? I'm in my early 30's but I'm a big fan of keeping the cruise atmosphere as is.

I have to say this is the best thread on the site. It's so silly!!
I love the 5x rebate if any ports are changed!! LOL, have you seen the Royal Caribbean threads? OMG! Those people are nuts! :p

[Çay girl]

Hey, I'm "freshmeat" as this is my first HAL cruise, I've only done Celebrity in the past. But I have to tell you I LOVE, LOVE dressing up formal!! I love sequins and gowns even my 8 year old wears a "tux". I do love anything "old school" about cruising. Might I suggest a "bigband/swing music" style theme night? I'm in my early 30's but I'm a big fan of keeping the cruise atmosphere as is.

I have to say this is the best thread on the site. It's so silly!!
I love the 5x rebate if any ports are changed!! LOL, have you seen the Royal Caribbean threads? OMG! Those people are nuts! :p

[serendipity1499]

Hammybee you Can't quit now!:(

You are our CEO, Pres. Elect, & Esteemed Leader..You must continue with this cockamamie plan & move forward..As CEO you are hereby awarded 12,000,000,000 shares of stock, and a lifetime, yearly sum of $2,000,000,000 plus a yearly OBC of $4.00 every time you cruise..Your first check is in the mail..

However if If you decide to relinquish your position & leave us in the lurch, you will receive a "golden parachute" as you walk the plank..:rolleyes:

As "Mistress of Seduction" (Do I have a Hulk for you!) err "Solicitation" I have done my duty & received today our first Promissory Note for 1,000,000 shares..And shipshapegal's buck is in the mail!;)

As "Chair Security" (Hey, since I'm doing double duty,expect double pay) I will hereby take all the Chair Savers towels & toss them into the sand at HMC...

Time for bed..Got my chuckle again taday..Thankks

[Grampy]

I vote that we all take turns sitting at your dinner table Captain Hammy bee. Insert brown nose smiley here.;)

I will let that cutting joke pass.

[AAAAmerican]

Just because I love Bergen Cty,especially Allendale, Ridgewood,Ramsey, Mahwah, Upper, Middle and Down Under Saddle River ,you can be General Counsel and get the IO rolling.

Sorry none of the aforementioned are.. residence is where Dick and Pat Nixon resided as well..

You must be in Monmouth Beach or Little Silver.. we just one property recently in Deal ..ocean...

The Redherring is at the printers now waiting the boards ok...

Are we going to have a premium for herring aboard our ships?

Yes the Saddle River does go through the place named for when Napolean won his first battle .. Lodi..

In my astute opinion the IPO we may want all the PR we are able to muster and have a Dutch Auction on a Best Efforts Basis..:cool:

[luv2cruise450]

Hammybee et al...this thread has been so much fun to read! Thanks for starting this one! I'll volunteer for a committee...tho for which one I don't have a clue! So if you have an assignment...post it!
HAL is still our favorite line...and I know the diehard Mariners in general don't like the Vista class ships but we have sailed on the Oosterdam and it was very nice. And this spring I was fortunate enough to be invited to come aboard the new Noordam when she was in NYC prior to her inaugeral sailing to the Caribbean and she is beautiful! Tho I have to admit that my very favorite ship of all that we've been fortunate enough to sail with is the elegant Amsterdam!
Anyway...thanks..and happy sailing to all!

[AAAAmerican]

Sea Blue Angels have been sited from the Hawks nest in NYC...

Whispers of a hostile takeover bid are surfacing now...

Are the Golden and Blue parachutes in place?

[Copper10-8]

Hey Hammy, just found this thread by accident:eek: I would like to volunteer my services as the person in charge of ear patches, everything inflatable (ice chests, dart boards, cats, girls, you name it, I'll do it) and official thong inspector. I await your blessing while standing at attention, Ma'am!

[happy cruzer]

Like Copper, I just found the fun.

Weeeelllll, someone must volunteer, I volunteer to be in charge of explaining/or not explaining tipping. Just depends if we want to stay with the current policy of tip secrecy. I've been killed in a battle over this before and didn't learn so I would be perfect for the job, you are going to need someone with integrity, the heart of a lion, the passion of an accountant and that just won't learn better.

If I were not upon the sea, a bean counter me
Happy all day long.....:p

[SnorkelBear]

Listen up people. There's a new sheriff on the HMS HammyDam. As the provisioner of all that is Dr. Pepper, I have complete nectar control over Cap'n Hammy. We all know she's a junkie for the stuff. As such I will be compiling a list of demands. They will be met, or the Dr. P. will be swimmin wid da fishes. :eek:

Stay tuned

[YankeeCruiser]

Whilst I am new to HAL (to embark on my first voyage in February), I appeal to the captain to allow me to join the crew. As the "newbie," I leave it to your discretion as to where I shall be posted, though I hereby request that no small children be involved, unless you never wish to see them again. I am, however, renowned for cutting remarks to snarky teenagers.

Standing at attention,

Amy

[May4]

May4,
We have studied your resume carefully and determined that your ability to raise your hand while jumping up and down uniquely qualifies you to be our fisrst cruise director.


I accept Hammybee! I'll begin, I think by booking some of my favorite entertainers for the show lounge. James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King, and
Jimmy Buffett to start.

Next, new questions for Newlywed-Not So Newlywed. Why don't people know the rather important distinction between favorite condiment and, well you know? And gentlemen, your wife probably doesn't wear a bra with a size beginning with the very first letter of the alphabet.

Okay, I'll need some Love Boat tapes right away. I may need to channel Julie.

[AAAAmerican]

More briefs have to be written and riders attached to the contacts before we go to market.

Now with all the entertainment, coming aboard for cruise guests, we have to issue all of them Stock Options then have the accounting methods changed and refiled with the SEC now..
(\:eek:/)

[RuthC]

I accept Hammybee! I'll begin, I think by booking some of my favorite entertainers for the show lounge. James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King, and Jimmy Buffett to start.
Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.
(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)

[serendipity1499]

More briefs have to be written and riders attached to the contacts before we go to market.

Now with all the entertainment, coming aboard for cruise guests, we have to issue all of them Stock Options then have the accounting methods changed and refiled with the SEC now..(\:eek:/)

Four AAAA's...What are you waiting for..Go file your briefs with the SEC before I get into trouble with Capt. Hammy & the SEC about this stock we've issued:eek: ..I could plead either "I did not know" or "Insanity", but the New Corp. will have to foot my Attorney's bills..:rolleyes:

Has anyone seen or heard from our Esteemed Leader today? We need her directives:confused:

[hammybee]

hammybee, I do hope you are having a good time with this thread. I know that you---and it---have given me a great deal of delight.

(think that'll get me a raise?:D :rolleyes: :eek: ;) )

We are paying you your worth in chocalate, Ruth. What more could you want?

[hammybee]

Hey, I'm "freshmeat" as this is my first HAL cruise, I've only done Celebrity in the past. But I have to tell you I LOVE, LOVE dressing up formal!! I love sequins and gowns even my 8 year old wears a "tux". I do love anything "old school" about cruising. Might I suggest a "bigband/swing music" style theme night? I'm in my early 30's but I'm a big fan of keeping the cruise atmosphere as is.

I have to say this is the best thread on the site. It's so silly!!
I love the 5x rebate if any ports are changed!! LOL, have you seen the Royal Caribbean threads? OMG! Those people are nuts! :p

Cay Girl, You go and help Grampy with the fresh meat stuff. It's his chopping block and so he gets to decide appropriate attire and music. If you find out what he plans to cut in those shorts of his, please let us know.

[hammybee]

I vote that we all take turns sitting at your dinner table Captain Hammy bee. Insert brown nose smiley here.;)

I will let that cutting joke pass.

You will be welcomed at my table. We will dine off the Children's menu and the nectar, Dr. Pepper, will flow well into the wee hours.

[Grampy]

Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.
(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)


Ruth, you have great taste in music. Could we please book Diana Krall also?

[hammybee]

Sorry none of the aforementioned are.. residence is where Dick and Pat Nixon resided as well..

You must be in Monmouth Beach or Little Silver.. we just one property recently in Deal ..ocean...

The Redherring is at the printers now waiting the boards ok...

Are we going to have a premium for herring aboard our ships?

Yes the Saddle River does go through the place named for when Napolean won his first battle .. Lodi..

In my astute opinion the IPO we may want all the PR we are able to muster and have a Dutch Auction on a Best Efforts Basis..:cool:


AAAAmerican: you have missed the boat here. Are you sure you are not from Hackensack?

We, the Not for Profit HAL, will not be a public company, cause then we have to please the shareholders, instead of ourselves. When we have to please THEM, then we will end up doing things like playing loud dico music in the LIDO which will attract the kind of cruisers that are not apt to appreciate the refined enviornment we have strived to maintain. And anyway, the music thing makes RuthC jumpy and when she gets jumpy, well, we had all better watch out.

[hammybee]

Hammybee et al...this thread has been so much fun to read! Thanks for starting this one! I'll volunteer for a committee...tho for which one I don't have a clue! So if you have an assignment...post it!
HAL is still our favorite line...and I know the diehard Mariners in general don't like the Vista class ships but we have sailed on the Oosterdam and it was very nice. And this spring I was fortunate enough to be invited to come aboard the new Noordam when she was in NYC prior to her inaugeral sailing to the Caribbean and she is beautiful! Tho I have to admit that my very favorite ship of all that we've been fortunate enough to sail with is the elegant Amsterdam!
Anyway...thanks..and happy sailing to all!

luv2cruise450: Welcome aboard. We will put your many talents to use as the Onboard Cruise Consultant for all VISA class ships. Please determine appropriate and meaningful incentives, not the measly shipboard credit thing. If you sell enough, we will let you sail on the Amsterdam to remind you how the other half lives. Fair enough?

[hammybee]

Sea Blue Angels have been sited from the Hawks nest in NYC...

Whispers of a hostile takeover bid are surfacing now...

Are the Golden and Blue parachutes in place?

Are you drinking on the job again?

[hammybee]

Hey Hammy, just found this thread by accident:eek: I would like to volunteer my services as the person in charge of ear patches, everything inflatable (ice chests, dart boards, cats, girls, you name it, I'll do it) and official thong inspector. I await your blessing while standing at attention, Ma'am!

At ease Copper Man:

Your background in inflatables will come in handy. I need you to take charge of all scheduled and unschedules tender operations. I also need someone with a keen eye to patrol for MAN BOOBS in the Lido. Can you recommend anyone?

[SDHALFAN]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

My check is in the mail.

Valerie:D

[hammybee]

Like Copper, I just found the fun.

Weeeelllll, someone must volunteer, I volunteer to be in charge of explaining/or not explaining tipping. Just depends if we want to stay with the current policy of tip secrecy. I've been killed in a battle over this before and didn't learn so I would be perfect for the job, you are going to need someone with integrity, the heart of a lion, the passion of an accountant and that just won't learn better.

If I were not upon the sea, a bean counter me
Happy all day long.....:p

71 posts and this is the first time the "T" word has surfaced. For the sake of your perpetual job security, should we revert back to the Tipping Optional policy ?

[hammybee]

Listen up people. There's a new sheriff on the HMS HammyDam. As the provisioner of all that is Dr. Pepper, I have complete nectar control over Cap'n Hammy. We all know she's a junkie for the stuff. As such I will be compiling a list of demands. They will be met, or the Dr. P. will be swimmin wid da fishes. :eek:

Stay tuned
Snorklebear Guy: Given the naming of the ship and recognition of the Nectar of the Gods, I will, this once, forgive your error in judgement.

[SDHALFAN]

May4,
We have studied your resume carefully and determined that your ability to raise your hand while jumping up and down uniquely qualifies you to be our fisrst cruise director.

I was going to try to snag May4 as my assistant, after all she can handle sour and cross people, but I bow to you our beloved leader: she is perfect for cruise director - inspired choice.:D

Valerie:)

[hammybee]

Whilst I am new to HAL (to embark on my first voyage in February), I appeal to the captain to allow me to join the crew. As the "newbie," I leave it to your discretion as to where I shall be posted, though I hereby request that no small children be involved, unless you never wish to see them again. I am, however, renowned for cutting remarks to snarky teenagers.

Standing at attention,

Amy

Amy,

Save the Children. Middle-aged Mom has them under control in Camp Hell-o. They are our future, or something like that. We are being overwhelmed with reservations and dollars from parents who want to observe, just once, before they die, their little darlings, working. Having said this, anyone who can put "whilst" and "snarky" in the same paragraph has the proven communicaton skills to confuse teens so you own the Teen CLub from Hell-o.

[kakalina]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

[hammybee]

I accept Hammybee! I'll begin, I think by booking some of my favorite entertainers for the show lounge. James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King, and
Jimmy Buffett to start.

Next, new questions for Newlywed-Not So Newlywed. Why don't people know the rather important distinction between favorite condiment and, well you know? And gentlemen, your wife probably doesn't wear a bra with a size beginning with the very first letter of the alphabet.

Okay, I'll need some Love Boat tapes right away. I may need to channel Julie.

May4,
My job is to uphold the traditions of traditional cruising in a traditional fashion. You need to go back to the drawing board on the Jimmy Buffet thing, else we risk an infestation of Parrotheads. Imagine, if you will, what this might to do our formal nights. Always remember though, "You've got a Friend"

[SnorkelBear]

Snorklebear Guy: Given the naming of the ship and recognition of the Nectar of the Gods, I will, this once, forgive your error in judgement.

Oh Hammy, my sweet little naive Cap'n. You talk a brave game, but you know I've got you by the short ones. You won't last two days without your nectar. Just admit it. You need me on the HammyDam. You need me bad. You will meet my demands. He who controls the Pepper, controls the HammyDam. HaaHaaHaaHaa!!!!!

[hammybee]

More briefs have to be written and riders attached to the contacts before we go to market.

Now with all the entertainment, coming aboard for cruise guests, we have to issue all of them Stock Options then have the accounting methods changed and refiled with the SEC now..
(\:eek:/)

AAAAmerican:
This is a private placement so we don't have to answer to the public about anything.

[SnorkelBear]

May4,
My job is to uphold the traditions of traditional cruising in a traditional fashion. You need to go back to the drawing board on the Jimmy Buffet thing, else we risk an infestation of Parrotheads. Imagine, if you will, what this might to do our formal nights. Always remember though, "You've got a Friend"

What could be more traditional than a coconut "bro". (Male bra for non-Seinfelders, also known as a mansier)

[hammybee]

Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.
(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)

If Buble is good enough for Katie Couric, he's good enough for the Not-for-Profit HAL. RuthC. you are a true gem.

[hammybee]

Four AAAA's...What are you waiting for..Go file your briefs with the SEC before I get into trouble with Capt. Hammy & the SEC about this stock we've issued:eek: ..I could plead either "I did not know" or "Insanity", but the New Corp. will have to foot my Attorney's bills..:rolleyes:

Has anyone seen or heard from our Esteemed Leader today? We need her directives:confused:

Loosen the elastic strap on your pill box and all will be well. Trust me on this. I know.

[Copper10-8]

At ease Copper Man:

Your background in inflatables will come in handy. I need you to take charge of all scheduled and unschedules tender operations. I also need someone with a keen eye to patrol for MAN BOOBS in the Lido. Can you recommend anyone?

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)

In the mean time, I will keep a sharp and keen eye out for any inflatable tenders! Your wish is my command, Ma'am!

BTW, will there music in the Disco?

[hammybee]

Ruth, you have great taste in music. Could we please book Diana Krall also?

Grampy,
Please develop alternative PG menu:

I don't want fried potatoes,
Red, ripe tomatoes
I'm never satisfied
I want the Frim Fram Sauce
With the oss-en-fa
With Sha fa fa, on the side

[hammybee]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

My check is in the mail.

Valerie:D

Val,
Thanks for the check. You are right. Let's not waste your talents on the Passenger Service Cards cause we really don't care, anyway. The Twelvetails skill set will come in handy in so many ways. Shall we try it out in the Lido first to keep the lines moving at a decent clip? You also can maintain the tradition of formal night and catch those who dare not dress appropriately, as they dash through the ship, on their way to the Lido, for din-din. It's upsetting for those of us who value out traditions to look at them.

[hammybee]

I was going to try to snag May4 as my assistant, after all she can handle sour and cross people, but I bow to you our beloved leader: she is perfect for cruise director - inspired choice.:D

Valerie:)

Snag her. She's new but has potential and can learn at the side of us savvy cruisers. If she is reluctant, prescribe 4 scotches per hour till she sings the Frim-Fram Sauce song.

[Grampy]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

If Hammybee doesn't find a position for you would you cut the cheese while I butcher the meat?;)

[hammybee]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

Kakalina: I know you have a heart of gold but there can be no hookers on HAL. I am sorry.

[hammybee]

. Just admit it. You need me on the HammyDam. You need me bad.


Oh Snorklebear guy, I am sorry that I did not meet your need to be needed.
You are going to do a great job with those cat buckets and I know you are capable of more. So this is what we are going to do. You are now the Executive in Charge of Cabin Door Decorations. This too is a touchy subject for us loyal Mariners so you decide which half of the HammyDam ( God I love the way that sounds) will be decorated, versus not. You may also want to consider color coding the carpet so that those who offend will not interact with offendees. Here are some ideas to get the juices flowing:

[hammybee]

If Hammybee doesn't find a position for you would you cut the cheese while I butcher the meat?;)

Grampy:
I am speechless.

[middle-aged mom]

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)




:eek: Is this still the HAL board? I thought we were all a bunch of "old fogeys" over here?!!

Sir John, so kind of you to think of poor old mom here, who never gets out to have any fun, and nominate me as Man Boob Inspector. My life now has meaning and purpose. ;) My outstanding qualifications would be.....what? Married to a color-blind man for twenty years who needs me to buy every stitch of clothing he ever wears, because left to his own devices he would wear plaid pants with a striped shirt?? He wouldn't dare show his man boobs in public with me around. Actually, he doesn't have any man boobs, so I guess I'm not qualified for this job at all.:rolleyes:

I think you need to take pity on Kakalina, Hammybee, and let her assist our Mistress of Solicitations (Serendipity, aka Betty) to ensure that only hunks may be shirtless in the Lido. Everyone else, cover up! So I nominate Kakalina as Man Boob Inspector! With the permission of our Executive Director, La Hammybea, of course. :)

Middle-Age Mom, who is trying to cook dinner for her hunky husband......

[hammybee]

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)

In the mean time, I will keep a sharp and keen eye out for any inflatable tenders! Your wish is my command, Ma'am!

BTW, will there music in the Disco?

Thank you Copperguy: I have too much respect for the MAM to respond for her. I am thinking that it might be best for you to stick with the inflatables and weapens of mass destruction.

[hammybee]

:eek: Is this still the HAL board? I thought we were all a bunch of "old fogeys" over here?!!

Sir John, so kind of you to think of poor old mom here, who never gets out to have any fun, and nominate me as Man Boob Inspector. My life now has meaning and purpose. ;) My outstanding qualifications would be.....what? Married to a color-blind man for twenty years who needs me to buy every stitch of clothing he ever wears, because left to his own devices he would wear plaid pants with a striped shirt?? He wouldn't dare show his man boobs in public with me around. Actually, he doesn't have any man boobs, so I guess I'm not qualified for this job at all.:rolleyes:

I think you need to take pity on Kakalina, Hammybee, and let her assist our Mistress of Solicitations (Serendipity, aka Betty) to ensure that only hunks may be shirtless in the Lido. Everyone else, cover up! So I nominate Kakalina as Man Boob Inspector! With the permission of our Executive Director, La Hammybea, of course. :)

Middle-Age Mom, who is trying to cook dinner for her hunky husband......

Our messages crossed. You are much to valuable to waste your time and energy looking for MBs. I think Kakalina of the "flesh is weak" variety has to decide if she wants to work with Betty and the Hunks or Grampy and the cheese. Decisions. Decisions.

[Grampy]

Grampy:
I am speechless.

Captain Hammy, we must never let the crew know that you are speechless. Stand strong.

I love the Frim Fram thing. You are quick on your feet.:)

[RuthC]

Captain Hammy, You are quick on your feet.:)
Not to mention her keyboard! :D (Hey, I think I just did. :rolleyes: )
OK, back to our musical interlude.

[happy cruzer]

71 posts and this is the first time the "T" word has surfaced. For the sake of your perpetual job security, should we revert back to the Tipping Optional policy ?

I love it, I will start practicing my Tipping Explanations:

Tipping is Optional
Really tipping is optional
Tipping is really optional
Tipping is optional really.

I love the idea of getting to say exactly the same thing over and over and still no one will understand.:)

Then in a couple of years could we change it again??? hee hee

[AAAAmerican]

AAAAmerican:
This is a private placement so we don't have to answer to the public about anything.

Yikes your P P may have trouble to muster the need accredited invstors on A Reg A filing.. even Reg B is now in the public comment period.

Proposed Rule: S7-23-99
AGENCY: Securities and Exchange Commission ACTION: Proposed rule SUMMARY: The Commission will publishing for comment proposed amendments to certain exemptive rules under the Investment Company Act..And Reg T we all have to follow...

The papers were sent with the Dock fees and Secuity Ship Taxes... a Wire was recieved by them as they sent us a confirm of the funds into ther account.

Having a Debt issue which we will discuss in depth, this may still be the easiest method of raising the next 219 million for us once your P P closes which we shall need before the first launch of the HammyDam:D



On another note: well a B Flat...

The selling group may need a larger overallotment as they asked again for a multiple.

[AAAAmerican]

The Secretary needs more again now:

Please send it to me here and I will review the material:
Princeton University Woodrow Wilson School Princeton,NJ 08544

Jonathan G. Katz Secretary,Securitiesand Exchange Commission 450 Fifth Street, NW.,Washington, DC 20459-0609 R

[YankeeCruiser]

Having said this, anyone who can put "whilst" and "snarky" in the same paragraph has the proven communicaton skills to confuse teens so you own the Teen CLub from Hell-o.

How delightful. I shall teach those little cretins the meaning of the word "veneratio" - among many others.

A policeman's lot is not a 'appy one...

[elmorejj]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

My check is in the mail.

Valerie:D


Valerie, one J&B with a splash, coming your way. Just let me know when you need a refill

[kakalina]

MAM thanks for your support. Hammybee Betty and the hunks please. That sounds like the name of our entertainment group.
[B]AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ; THE NEW HAL LINE PROUDLY PRESENTS BETTY AND THE THE HUNKS. [B] Sounds of applause and whistles

[Preacher's Kid]

I just found this thread this morning, and had to catch up. Whew!

I noticed, however, that there is no-one who has volunteered to be the dance inspector - no, no, not the stage shows. I'm talking about the inappropriate dancing in the disco. THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!!!

Also, we want to ensure that there is a sufficient quantity of Gentlemen Hosts to dance with the unaccompanied females. Otherwise, they end up dancing with each other, and we all know how uncontrolled that can be. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm channeling my former cruisemate who has found a new cruisemate (of the male persuasion) to replace me.

And let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained. I remember my last Mexican cruise when the pool band seemed to know only about three songs - Besame Mucho was played about every 15 minutes. They would have walked the plank if we'd had the Enforcer on board.

Karenlynne

[RuthC]

IAnd let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained.
I'll happily volunteer for this assignment. Along with quality control (chocolate division) I can handle the job.

I know several hundred songs (maybe a few thousand :confused: ) and can put prospective musicians to quite a test. :)
Besides, playing Stump the Musician is always a fun game. :D

[Copper10-8]

You haven't lived until you've done the Macarena 1200 times on your way to Mexico:eek:

[patwell]

Thank goodness I'm not the only delusional person left in the world!!! Where do I sign up?? I can volunteer a Certified Therapy Dog to help raise the "happy quotient" on board...he's a wonder with aging folks...always guaranteed to bring a smile to their faces. I of course have to accompany him but I have lots of formal wear, don't worry.

Man, You're on to something here...citizens of the world, take back what is your right!! I'm a Cunarder, but this idea is too good to pass on if you'll have me!
Cheers, Penny

[SDHALFAN]

I just found this thread this morning, and had to catch up. Whew!

I noticed, however, that there is no-one who has volunteered to be the dance inspector - no, no, not the stage shows. I'm talking about the inappropriate dancing in the disco. THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!!!

Also, we want to ensure that there is a sufficient quantity of Gentlemen Hosts to dance with the unaccompanied females. Otherwise, they end up dancing with each other, and we all know how uncontrolled that can be. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm channeling my former cruisemate who has found a new cruisemate (of the male persuasion) to replace me.

And let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained. I remember my last Mexican cruise when the pool band seemed to know only about three songs - Besame Mucho was played about every 15 minutes. They would have walked the plank if we'd had the Enforcer on board.

Karenlynne


Hi Karenlynne:

Well, I can see that you and I are going to have to hash out some of these ideas whilst on our upcoming cruise (with our beloved leader's permission of course, after all we are talking about the ms HammyDam here).

I'm not too sure about your reference to The Enforcer and walking the plank since I have now been reassigned and am in charge of the Whip - oops, I mean the Cat o' Twelvetails (we decided ninetails just wouldn't get the job done), so it could very well be that I am The Enforcer (gee, I love that - beats the heck out of going over all those pathetic comment cards (my former assignment)).

Don't forget to send in your $1.00 check which entitles you to a share in the ms HammyDam and includes all kind of wonderful benefits - I seem to remember being promised something like $2.00 per day cabin credit - can't beat that!

Valerie:D

p.s. Should you be awarded the post of Dance Inspector, thereby being in charge of the "gentlemen hosts", I would like to put in a request that noone under the age of 30 need apply. I can always find some old fart to dance with but that's not exactly my idea of a fun cruise if you know what I mean.;)

[SDHALFAN]

Valerie, one J&B with a splash, coming your way. Just let me know when you need a refill


Hi dear Jean:

You are indeed one classy lady and you know your Scotch. Trust me, when I need a refill you will be the first to know.

Valerie:D

[serendipity1499]

MAM thanks for your support. Hammybee Betty and the hunks please. That sounds like the name of our entertainment group.
[b]AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ; THE NEW HAL LINE PROUDLY PRESENTS BETTY AND THE THE HUNKS. [b] Sounds of applause and whistles

Oh I like the sound of that..Have always been a Ham (no offense-Capt. Hammy) My pillbox has loosened & I'm getting the Feathers ready for Opening Night... Expect we'll have at least three Curtain Calls..:rolleyes:

Kakalina, thanks for agreeing to join up with us...The Hunks are more fun than Cheese...;) We'll be a great team! Let me know if you need feathers too! Expecting many more Hunks to sign up...

Capt. Hammy-PatVal & her pooch would be great with "Brandy" (also a Certified Therapy Dog")...Patrolling for "Chair Hogs" is so much more effective with a Certified Therapy Dog Team.. We were at the Hospital today & she is well aware of what she must do..When the Chair Saver Hogs place their purses on the Lounge seats or their towels on the Pool Deck, we can send in the Dogs..Brandy Loves hunting for treats in a purse or sleeping on someones towel or bed..:)She'll even steal Poker Chips if we need $$$ to pay off the Crew.. And if the chair hogs don't go away they will kiss them to death until they give up...However I bow to your good counsel Capt. & await your decision with "bated breath"...

Yes, I can see the Press release now:

"The Hammy Dam" will be departing the Port of "Chomo Lhari", with Capt. Hammy at the helm, the 30th of February 2007 at 1700 Hrs. for Ports unknown..The gangplank will be raised at exactly 1600 hours on the 29th of February 2007... All Passengers & Crew will be properly dressed & at Parade Rest from that time on until our esteemed Capt. Hammy announces "At Ease" Matey's... All Aboard!!!

Goodnight All & Happy Dreaming.;) ..Betty

[hammybee]

I love it, I will start practicing my Tipping Explanations:

Tipping is Optional
Really tipping is optional
Tipping is really optional
Tipping is optional really.

I love the idea of getting to say exactly the same thing over and over and still no one will understand.:)

Then in a couple of years could we change it again??? hee hee
Happy Cruiser: You have the double-talk walk down pat.

[hammybee]

Yikes your P P may have trouble to muster the need accredited invstors on A Reg A filing.. even Reg B is now in the public comment period.

Proposed Rule: S7-23-99
AGENCY: Securities and Exchange Commission ACTION: Proposed rule SUMMARY: The Commission will publishing for comment proposed amendments to certain exemptive rules under the Investment Company Act..And Reg T we all have to follow...

The papers were sent with the Dock fees and Secuity Ship Taxes... a Wire was recieved by them as they sent us a confirm of the funds into ther account.

Having a Debt issue which we will discuss in depth, this may still be the easiest method of raising the next 219 million for us once your P P closes which we shall need before the first launch of the HammyDam:D



On another note: well a B Flat...

The selling group may need a larger overallotment as they asked again for a multiple.

This is scary. I actually understand this. Forget the nectar. I need scotch.

[hammybee]

The Secretary needs more again now:

Please send it to me here and I will review the material:
Princeton University Woodrow Wilson School Princeton,NJ 08544

Jonathan G. Katz Secretary,Securitiesand Exchange Commission 450 Fifth Street, NW.,Washington, DC 20459-0609 R


I like the way you worked in "Katz". Good job AAAAmerican.

[hammybee]

How delightful. I shall teach those little cretins the meaning of the word "veneratio" - among many others.

A policeman's lot is not a 'appy one...

You have earned our veneratio.

[hammybee]

Valerie, one J&B with a splash, coming your way. Just let me know when you need a refill

Me too. Forget the splash.

[Copper10-8]

You have earned our veneratio.

Our what? Have you been hitting the bottle Hammy?

[hammybee]

MAM thanks for your support. Hammybee Betty and the hunks please. That sounds like the name of our entertainment group.
[B]AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ; THE NEW HAL LINE PROUDLY PRESENTS BETTY AND THE THE HUNKS. [B] Sounds of applause and whistles

You got your electric boots and mohair suits?

[hammybee]

I just found this thread this morning, and had to catch up. Whew!

I noticed, however, that there is no-one who has volunteered to be the dance inspector - no, no, not the stage shows. I'm talking about the inappropriate dancing in the disco. THIS IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DANCE!!!

Also, we want to ensure that there is a sufficient quantity of Gentlemen Hosts to dance with the unaccompanied females. Otherwise, they end up dancing with each other, and we all know how uncontrolled that can be. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm channeling my former cruisemate who has found a new cruisemate (of the male persuasion) to replace me.

And let's make sure that the bands - pool band, disco band - know sufficient songs to keep us entertained. I remember my last Mexican cruise when the pool band seemed to know only about three songs - Besame Mucho was played about every 15 minutes. They would have walked the plank if we'd had the Enforcer on board.

Karenlynne

Karenlynne:

We need "gentlemane hosts for the unaccompanied and accompanied ladies. If you have trouble finding them, well, (sighs) I guess we will have to use the Yum-Yum guys. I mean what do they do after dinner anyway? Retire to their cabins and eat figs into the wee hours?

Tell you what we'll do. We will sew elastic straps around the arch of their shoes so we can slip them onto our feet and dance the night away. Dancing Yum-Yum Guys ! Does this work for you?

[hammybee]

I'll happily volunteer for this assignment. Along with quality control (chocolate division) I can handle the job.

I know several hundred songs (maybe a few thousand :confused: ) and can put prospective musicians to quite a test. :)
Besides, playing Stump the Musician is always a fun game. :D

Recruit the Preacher's Kid to help with Lido music. I am thinking.....Pool-side Sing-a- Longs.

[hammybee]

You haven't lived until you've done the Macarena 1200 times on your way to Mexico:eek:

Would the chicken dance work better for you?

[Copper10-8]

Would the chicken dance work better for you?

Why's that, Captain?:rolleyes:

[hammybee]

Thank goodness I'm not the only delusional person left in the world!!! Where do I sign up?? I can volunteer a Certified Therapy Dog to help raise the "happy quotient" on board...he's a wonder with aging folks...always guaranteed to bring a smile to their faces. I of course have to accompany him but I have lots of formal wear, don't worry.

Man, You're on to something here...citizens of the world, take back what is your right!! I'm a Cunarder, but this idea is too good to pass on if you'll have me!
Cheers, Penny

Penny,
I am confused. Since you are a Cunarder, it is not clear, who has the most formal wear, you or the Certified Therapy Dog?

[hammybee]

Hi Karenlynne:

Well, I can see that you and I are going to have to hash out some of these ideas whilst on our upcoming cruise (with our beloved leader's permission of course, after all we are talking about the ms HammyDam here).

I'm not too sure about your reference to The Enforcer and walking the plank since I have now been reassigned and am in charge of the Whip - oops, I mean the Cat o' Twelvetails (we decided ninetails just wouldn't get the job done), so it could very well be that I am The Enforcer (gee, I love that - beats the heck out of going over all those pathetic comment cards (my former assignment)).

Don't forget to send in your $1.00 check which entitles you to a share in the ms HammyDam and includes all kind of wonderful benefits - I seem to remember being promised something like $2.00 per day cabin credit - can't beat that!

Valerie:D

p.s. Should you be awarded the post of Dance Inspector, thereby being in charge of the "gentlemen hosts", I would like to put in a request that noone under the age of 30 need apply. I can always find some old fart to dance with but that's not exactly my idea of a fun cruise if you know what I mean.;)
Val: We will save the mature Dancing Yum-Yum for you.

[hammybee]

Oh I like the sound of that..Have always been a Ham (no offense-Capt. Hammy) My pillbox has loosened & I'm getting the Feathers ready for Opening Night... Expect we'll have at least three Curtain Calls..:rolleyes:

Kakalina, thanks for agreeing to join up with us...The Hunks are more fun than Cheese...;) We'll be a great team! Let me know if you need feathers too! Expecting many more Hunks to sign up...

Capt. Hammy-PatVal & her pooch would be great with "Brandy" (also a Certified Therapy Dog")...Patrolling for "Chair Hogs" is so much more effective with a Certified Therapy Dog Team.. We were at the Hospital today & she is well aware of what she must do..When the Chair Saver Hogs place their purses on the Lounge seats or their towels on the Pool Deck, we can send in the Dogs..Brandy Loves hunting for treats in a purse or sleeping on someones towel or bed..:)She'll even steal Poker Chips if we need $$$ to pay off the Crew.. And if the chair hogs don't go away they will kiss them to death until they give up...However I bow to your good counsel Capt. & await your decision with "bated breath"...

Yes, I can see the Press release now:

"The Hammy Dam" will be departing the Port of "Chomo Lhari", with Capt. Hammy at the helm, the 30th of February 2007 at 1700 Hrs. for Ports unknown..The gangplank will be raised at exactly 1600 hours on the 29th of February 2007... All Passengers & Crew will be properly dressed & at Parade Rest from that time on until our esteemed Capt. Hammy announces "At Ease" Matey's... All Aboard!!!

Goodnight All & Happy Dreaming.;) ..Betty
To be effective, the dog need to be wet.

[hammybee]

Our what? Have you been hitting the bottle Hammy?

See previous post regarding scotch.

[hammybee]

Why's that, Captain?:rolleyes:

Let me try this again:

De Vogeltjesdans

Originally an oom-pah song played on the accordian.

[Copper10-8]

Let me try this again:

De Vogeltjesdans

Originally an oom-pah song played on the accordian.

Very impressed with your command of the Dutch language, captain. However, it's not originally a Dutch or for that matter a German, song. It was created in Switzerland and is also known by some as "the world's stupidest dance":eek: . With Oktoberfest coming up, I'm sure everyone that wants to can partake. Maybe, captain, you can make it the theme song of our new cruise line - do you have a musical director yet?

[hammybee]

Well I think AAAAmerican ran off with the funding for the "not-for-profit" HAMMYDAM. We will make the best of it, with what we have, on the always- and- forever "for profit" HAL.

I thoroughly enjoyed our planning adventure and humor. Earlier this evening, I replied to a Ruth C posting on one of snorklebearguy's threads. It's another one of my parodies and perhaps worthy of appearing twice:


HAL Crossings, always so worthwhile
I'm sailing you in style, one day

Oh dream maker, you heart breaker
Where ever you're going, I'm going you're way

HAL sailing, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see

We're after the same chocolate, you and me
Waiting round the bend, my upgrade fairy friend.............

( all together now)

HAL CRUISES and ME.

( sponsored by the twirling Yum-Yum Ladies and Dublin Dr. Pepper /Waco Texas 2006 )

[Grampy]

Well I think AAAAmerican ran off with the funding for the "not-for-profit" HAMMYDAM. We will make the best of it, with what we have, on the always- and- forever "for profit" HAL.

I thoroughly enjoyed our planning adventure and humor. Earlier this evening, I replied to a Ruth C posting on one of snorklebearguy's threads. It's another one of my parodies and perhaps worthy of appearing twice:


HAL Crossings, always so worthwhile
I'm sailing you in style, one day

Oh dream maker, you heart breaker
Where ever you're going, I'm going you're way

HAL sailing, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see

We're after the same chocolate, you and me
Waiting round the bend, my upgrade fairy friend.............

( all together now)

HAL CRUISES and ME.

( sponsored by the twirling Yum-Yum Ladies and Dublin Dr. Pepper /Waco Texas 2006 )


That was very nice Hammy. Can we get back to business now? I would like to move on from my butchering job. It just doesn't cut it for me. I would like to run and maintain the Hammy cam. If things work out with funding I would also like to maintain an under the ship cam so we can see under the sea while we are sailing along.
Thank you for your consideration on this matter.:p

[middle-aged mom]

Grampy:

I think Hammy's last post was her way of bidding this thread "farewell". And a lovely farewell it was......

Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen.....Good Night:)

[SDHALFAN]

[quote=hammybee]Well I think AAAAmerican ran off with the funding for the "not-for-profit" HAMMYDAM. We will make the best of it, with what we have, on the always- and- forever "for profit" HAL.


Does this mean that I am already fired from my dream job - The Enforcer? Dayang! Oh well I can always console myself with the fact that I made my check out to Hammybee so AAAA whathisname can't cash it, legally anyway:D.

This has been a fun cruise even if we never actually did leave the pier. Thanks so much Hammybee and I hope to see you once again helming some other Dang ship very soon.

Valerie:)

[Grampy]

Grampy:

I think Hammy's last post was her way of bidding this thread "farewell". And a lovely farewell it was......

Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen.....Good Night:)

I guess I'm a little slow. Thanks Mom.

[AAAAmerican]

Sorry not on the almost bankrupt AMTRAC.. DC was on shedule again the back to the judicial processes..

WHat fun was had with the Three Dollars in funding for the Not For Profit.. a half a HammyBurger was bought...:D

We did find Blue Cruise Angels now..

But need to convert for a For Profit as they want there share of evenues generated and thusly profits in the bottom line.. a LLC will probably be best to have in the least liability arises with that for the group...

We did have to go through with a SAS-70 Audit too there and came out ok if we move our structure to a LLC and have the Reg A completed on shedule..

Is Sail7Seas going to be our GodMother for the HamDam?:cool:

[mrszuhwiggins]

Notice how the prohibition against jeans in the dining room has been dropped on casual nights?

--rita
Rita,
I'm sailing HAL for the first time and was wondering if you could tell me if there is a "viewable" dress code for the dining room. I do enjoy dressing up and seeing everyone in their finest, but have a friend who is contemplating HAL and was wondering how "formal" is formal?

[SnorkelBear]

Hi Mrs. Z,

Try this link from HAL site,
http://www.hollandamerica.com/guests/category.do?category=packing&topic=dressCode

See you on the Noordam.