Acceptable Behavior

[HighSeas77]

Having just returned from a cruise onboard the Oosterdam, I thought the topic of acceptable behavior towards working personnel and fellow cruisers should be mentioned.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have seem many disgraceful displays by the cruising public over the years....directed in most cases towards the crew, and other cruisers. My last cruise on the Oosterdam proved no exception.

The following is directed at those long time cruisers and to those considering their first cruise:

We all work very hard for the money that is paying for our vacations...in this case, our cruising vacations. We all take a certain amount of grief in our respective work places and use our vacations to escape that grief, if only for a short period of time. Vacations will never be 100% perfect, there will always be something that is not to your liking. There may be other cruisers that get on your nerves....everybody is different. Cruise ships are machines...they can break down. The weather may not be what you were expecting.

What I'm trying to say is this: If you have a problem, bring it up to the appropriate personnel onboard. Be polite, calm and treat that person with the respect you would expect yourself. That respect will have your problem solved quicker than raising your voice or a sharp and disrespectful tongue. Say please and thank you....remember you manners. Respect your fellow cruisers. If someone sneaks in line, let it go. Do not take your life's frustrations out on the people around you...you are after all on vacation.

I thought it especially important to bring this topic up over the holidays...but it applies equally throughout the year.

Don't forget your manners.....thank those that make your vacation. You'll feel better for doing it, and make that persons day.

Tell your friends.

Happy cruising, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

[IKE]

I agree with you 100% "High Seas". Today "Manners" seem to be a way of the past. See it in all walks of life. Children especially today are lacking in manners as well. Its not their fault. The parents donot for whatever reason, instill manners in them. Not all children or all adults lack manners. I like you have seen many nasty displays on the Cruisehips to the personnel. It is totalling uncalled for. Some passengers look down on these people as if they were their servants. I feel it was a good point you made to make people aware of common courtesy to their fellowman. We are all busy, have problems, just tired or worn out, frustrated but should not forget to show respect to others. You also have a very "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"!

[u4ea]

Testify brother Highseas!
We’re with you!
You can’t listen to all that doom and gloom, we’ve got to think positive and hang tough.
Mark….

[jeffs55]

These people that work on the ships work so hard, much harder than I'd be willing to. I so respect and appreciate them.
And it's certainly not just young people, when we were on the QM2 there was
this gaggle of older women who were constantly complaining and berating the staff, making everyone around them miserable.
One day there was some special sale at one of the shops, and we were trying to make our way around the 2nd flloor of the atrium where the shops are, which is kind of too narrow for the traffic.
Here come these four older women charging at us with their heads
down like linebackers. I got my Mom behind me and just stood still as far to my right as I could so they could pass but this on woman crashes in to me (I'm 6'1", 200 lbs), bounces off of me and looks up with this glare as if to say "What do you think you're doing, getting in my way like that?"
They just seemed to be determined to be unhappy the whole time, which just seems like a lot of work when one is getting such great service day after
day from these wonderful crews.

[kakalina]

Truer words were never spoken ( or written ). I have seen some terrible breaches of manners, common sense and plain old fashioned meanness. I have also seen some marvelous acts of kindness, helpfullness and good natured friendship.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Having grown up in a society where manners were very important, I do have a problem with some of the people on some of the ship.

Don't get me started.

[Amber14]

I totally agree with everyone - and it just doesn't happen on a ship, it's everywhere. People need to treat each other with kindness and respect. I have seen this kind of rude, "you owe me" behavior in stores, restaurants, hotels, etc. I have also seen it in the children of these adults also! Children learn what they see! It's sad. :(

[GmaPajama]

I've found a great way to throw the "miserable no matter what" people off balance is to respond with my biggest smile and a cheerful comment about something. It's even possible to get a smile back every now and then. Perhaps I'm a bit passive-aggressive in those situations, but I get a great deal of pleasure by surprising those people with kindness. Sometimes, they simply don't know what to do. I love it! :)

[NoNoNanette]

I've found a great way to throw the "miserable no matter what" people off balance is to respond with my biggest smile and a cheerful comment about something.

Your post gave me a huge smile! :D

Mom always taught me to "kill 'em with kindness!" It's SO EASY to SMILE! :)

[Navy_Chief]

I bet that those folks that complain about everythng never get their pictures from the photo gallery. I wonder if those pictures wind up on the crew's dart board :D

[u4ea]

More likely toilet paper :eek:

[constructiondude]

I was lucky in that my first cruise on the Westerdam was a fine group of people; I didn't witness any rude behavior.

I've actually done a lot of cringing in this forum though. Everytime I read "live ship reports" loaded with complaints directed at HAL, particularly the Oosterdam's recent azipod and ac troubles, I can only pray that the anger evident in their messages isn't being taken out on the ship's crew-like they purposely broke the air conditioning (causing just as much discomfort for themselves) just to ruin your cruise.

Like Highseas77 pointed out, these ships are operating for about 350 days out of the year or every day of the year if there is no drydock planned....with this much use, machines will break down, carpeting gets frayed, rips occur in chairs, scratches appear in elevator doors....and it will all get addressed in due time....its not a bus....they can't just pull over and immediately take that ripped chair off the ship and replace it as one poster seemed to expect.

I know the crew does what they can to repair the ship while its at sea but not all parts and materials will be readily available. But think of what does get done every day: all that laundry, all those dishes....and everywhere I looked something was always being cleaned, I even saw a maintenance man repairing a rip in the wallpaper off the shopping promenade.

I'm glad Highseas77 started this thread because my frustration has been building for a couple of weeks but I couldn't figure out a diplomatic way of expressing it.

[BumperII]

There will always be that ten percent that just doesn't get the message. Mistakes and problems occur in every walk of life; that is why we hire people to make corrections as necessary. It has been our experience so far that every request has been addressed promptly and cheerfully.

HAL hires very capable, high quality people. There is neither reason nor excuse for treating these folks with disrespect, it just puts them on the defensive, and instead of addressing the problem, they wind up scrambling for excuses. All one has to do on HAL is use a little courtesy and they will literally give you the whole dam ship.:D

[Chelsea_mom]

One of my personal rules when I start to get really upset with someone who is providing service is to take a mental step back, and ask myself if this person personally caused the problem. Almost everytime the answer is, "No, they didn't." At that point I take a deep breath, calm myself down as much as possible, and say, "I know that this isn't your fault, and I'm not really upset with you. However I am very frustrated with the situation, can you please help me solve it?" It's amazing how often that will change an unhelpful service person's attitude from, "There is nothing that can be done" to "Let me see if there is anything that can be done."

[willowoodf]

On a recent cruise I was in the Neptune lounge and a passenger called the concierge and started really yelling at her because the ship's television system didn't carry the channel his favorite football team was on. That poor concierge apologied profusely several times but couldn't seem to make him understand it wasn't HER fault, there was nothing SHE could do. He finally insisted on speaking with her supervisor, she put him through, but somehow I doubt he was going to get much satisfaction there, either. I really felt for that poor girl, I could tell she was very upset, but she was quite polite through the whole passenger tirade (which lasted several minutes).

Mary

[babyher]

Anyone who works with the public on a day to day basis ( I am going on 28 years in one capacity or another) knows they can be "challengeing" to say the least.

Most people are very polite and respectful. Some are a real delight. And some Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *LOL*

I usually take the "stinkers" with a grain of salt, even try to "kill'em with kindness" as Nanette said.

Sorry but I will never tolerate anyone using foul or degradeing language to me , no matter what their beef is. Especially if it is something I was not responsible for, or have any control over.

I will never stoop to their level and use their language , but I will make my point clearly and as nicely as posible.

You really do catch more flies with honey , than vinegar

[vanrhyn]

As a working member of the hospitality industry (Night desk clerk in a medium-small hotel 17 years of service) I have seen this happen time and time again. I firmly believe that some people of general public, try thier darnest to find something wrong, no matter how little it is. They then complain at the time of day when it is impossible to have the problem recified immediately as they wanted it fixed yesterday. I think that these people feel if they make a big enough stink about it they will either get a sizeable reduction in thier room rate or even their stay for nothing as the hotel will try to please them.

Rod:eek:

[JDRMYS]

Some passengers look down on these people as if they were their servants.

People should never look down on their servants either. Servants do jobs that their employers don't want to do themselves. The service personel on a cruise ship actually are our servants while we are on vacation. They are doing things for us that we would rather not do while we enjoy our vacations. They should always be treated politely and with respect. Being rude to anyone is never acceptable.

[Ryndam2002]

I was lucky in that my first cruise on the Westerdam was a fine group of people; I didn't witness any rude behavior.

I've actually done a lot of cringing in this forum though. Everytime I read "live ship reports" loaded with complaints directed at HAL, particularly the Oosterdam's recent azipod and ac troubles, I can only pray that the anger evident in their messages isn't being taken out on the ship's crew-like they purposely broke the air conditioning (causing just as much discomfort for themselves) just to ruin your cruise.

Like Highseas77 pointed out, these ships are operating for about 350 days out of the year or every day of the year if there is no drydock planned....with this much use, machines will break down, carpeting gets frayed, rips occur in chairs, scratches appear in elevator doors....and it will all get addressed in due time....its not a bus....they can't just pull over and immediately take that ripped chair off the ship and replace it as one poster seemed to expect.

I know the crew does what they can to repair the ship while its at sea but not all parts and materials will be readily available. But think of what does get done every day: all that laundry, all those dishes....and everywhere I looked something was always being cleaned, I even saw a maintenance man repairing a rip in the wallpaper off the shopping promenade.

I'm glad Highseas77 started this thread because my frustration has been building for a couple of weeks but I couldn't figure out a diplomatic way of expressing it.

Well said, constuctiondude! I think some of the bad behavior is from those who never learned good manners, but some may be from those of us who were taught good manners, and like Highseas77 mentioned, work hard for our money. And may expect too much.

We arrive onboard burned out from work and frazzled from the flights that got us to the port. We hope for the perfect vacation and when things go wrong some of us forget our manners and take it out on those who are doing their best to make things right.

But this works both ways. One reason I plan to continue sailing with HAL is how gracefully I've witnessed rank-and-file as well as officers handle difficult situations with passengers.

One reason I am in no hurry to sail on X again is that I've witnessed rude behavior by both rank-and-file as well as officers towards pax and other staff. Their ships are beautiful and their CDs are excellent, but I choose to spend my hard-earned dollars on a line that seems to appreciate my business. I've always been greeted by HAL officers when passing in a corridor, for example. I never once had a "good morning or good evening" replied to by an officer on X.

Just my opinion; your mileage may vary.

[Seago2]

Okay, this will probably jinx me, but... I have only witnessed one act of "frustration" by a passenger- and as you can see, I've been on everything from Cunard to Carnival. This guy wanted to get 13 people in his party on one tender, and the tendering process was completely haywire. People who got there first actually ended up being last because they were sitting down. This poor Romanian dancer was in charge. But he was still pretty calm and polite about it (the passenger, I mean. The dancer was turning pale and shaking.). Entire episode of confusion: twenty minutes, max. I have never seen- ever- a passenger be rude to a staff member, to me or my kids, or to another passenger. Run of luck, I guess!

When I cruised out of NYC this spring I thought "uh oh, here it comes, a ship full of New Yorkers..." Turned out to be a ship full of international pax and Atlantic Seabord residents. Totally well mannered and very nice. the New Yorkers on board (don't hit me- I'm from New York!) were all fantastic. Now I didn't bunk in the security command center so of course I couldn't see the entire ship... just my experience.

Treading lightly here... could it be that because HAL caters to an older demographic, the pax are a little more... crabby? But then, so does Cunard. But then again, the QE2 less so than the QM2, I would think.

U4EA, your eye freaks me out! I can't read your posts because I just scroll past that eye. It scares me! Sorry- don't mean to complain :).

[Sea King]

tactfully put HighSeas:)

totally agree with your comments

IMO however we should all try to remember that the person on land suddenly doesn't change just because he/she has crossed a gangway

a rude, obnoxious and quite frankly disgusting person ashore will still be the same rude, obnoxious and disgusting person on board

a Pax who snaps fingers at a waitstaff person and treats that individual like an indentured servant will do the same at home

someone who complains to the concierge about the selection of a football game (and don't leave out the golfers) is the same person who will cause a scene at a local bar if his game isn't the one being broadcast ..

don't agree with the Poster who mentioned smiling through it all .. sorry, just can't bring myself to smile and be nice to a total moron who's causing my blood pressure to rise

I just walk away .. that's one of the advantages of the Vista Class over the S class .. 30,000 more tons affords you many more places to try to escape to .. you just have to hope you're not followed:rolleyes:

[u4ea]

This is interesting because the discussion is now leaning toward how we (the good people) react to the bad people. Of course, it depends on the situation. The power of a situation cannot be understated. It seems some of the options are
Kill them with kindness
Turn the other cheek/love your enemy
Do nothing, say nothing/let them reap what they sow
Smile and be cordial (this may be required to keep one’s job)
Physically walk away or get away
Say something tactful about their behavior (may escalate)
Say something blunt about their behavior (usually escalates)
Report them
Teach them a lesson and beat the s**t out of them (usually a bad idea)

Feel free to add any more. Also mentioned were the children. Yes, it is very sad as they are the malleable victims of this. IMO this is a reflection of the critical problems in the world. But I digress, this is about cruising So lets go on a cruise and hope for no bad people! :cool:
Cheers, peace and love ya‘ll , help ever hurt never, don’t let the bastards get you down…..
Mark…

[constructiondude]

I've always been a fan of "saying nothing". Look them square in the eye but do not get caught up in their drama. There is a lot of truth to "silence is golden" and it will often drive them nuts! They have no idea what you will do or what you are thinking and they will end up dwelling on that so much that they will forget what their original problem was in the first place.

I will still look mad. I will still look like I'm about to erupt in a flurry of fists. Would I act on it....heck no. I'm old enough to know better. But let em think it anyway, they deserve it at that point.

[Copper10-8]

Let's face it, some folks are miserable when the sun goes up in the morning. I work in a service orientated job and I have seen my share of upset people whether they had a righteous beef or not . As one get's older and wiser;) over the years, one realizes that getting face-to-face on their level is only going to aggravate things and not necessarily solve the problem (doesn't mean you have to let them walk all over you, though;) ).

I have seen these individuals just totally rip the onboard staff "a new one". Couldn't help myself on one occassion (the Front Office girl was literally crying) and made some suggestions to the "guest". He left. I think most staff realizes that at times they will have to deal with upset pax and, for the most part, they are good at it, provide a listening ear, and attempting some sort of solution. It can be a very thankless job for those that are sought out to bring instant relief. Sometimes, the demands are so unrealistic, there's absolutely nothing they can do and everyone realizes that live goes on!:)

[Lachase]

But not always----which brings to mind our stay in FL a few years ago when we had several "disastrous" moments: first, the hotel only had 2 floors and they placed us on the ground floor when we wanted the upper level where we could see the ocean view. They said they didn't have another upper room available but several days later were to have one and we were to switch at an appointed time. We geared our day to returning at the designated time, in which we were told, no it was suppose to have been at an earlier time, and sorry, now the room is no longer available. We actually planned our morning to return to the hotel specifically for the switch so it blew our day a bit and then still no results. Worse, at one point I went to the small laundry room and the door shut behind me and locked from the outside with no way to open it up. It was small, hot, away from hotel foot traffic; I had to yell for help until I was finally heard. Then the maintenance supervisor proclaimed how it was "not his fault" as though that was the most important factor. When we checked out, I told the manager of all the problems. We were repeat customers at this hotel; frankly, her attitude was like I was lying, that they had no responsibility. You know, they did give us a bit of a discount on our bill, but truthfully, I really primarily just wanted them to seem like they actually cared to give good service, which they did not. We haven't been back and it spoiled our previous good feelings about the hotel. Maybe some customers feign problems, but sometimes there really are problems and establishments could care less.

[madhouseinc]

This is interesting because the discussion is now leaning toward how we (the good people) react to the bad people. Of course, it depends on the situation. The power of a situation cannot be understated. It seems some of the options are
Kill them with kindness
Turn the other cheek/love your enemy
Do nothing, say nothing/let them reap what they sow
Smile and be cordial (this may be required to keep one’s job)
Physically walk away or get away
Say something tactful about their behavior (may escalate)
Say something blunt about their behavior (usually escalates)
Report them
Teach them a lesson and beat the s**t out of them (usually a bad idea)

Feel free to add any more. Also mentioned were the children. Yes, it is very sad as they are the malleable victims of this. IMO this is a reflection of the critical problems in the world. But I digress, this is about cruising So lets go on a cruise and hope for no bad people! :cool:
Cheers, peace and love ya‘ll , help ever hurt never, don’t let the bastards get you down…..
Mark…

I worked for 25 years at a court, both at the front counter and on the switchboard. People on the phones tend to be very abusive when they are mad - a couple times people called me that had warrants for their arrest and felt they felt it was my fault or else so what are you going to do about it b..... Loved it when they had given me their names - called down to our warrant unit and had the officers go out and arrest them - sometimes with a hello from me.:rolleyes:

[PRINSENDAM]

I just heard this one. Seems like it would fit in here.




Paddy was in court and the judge was reading out the charges.

"You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner..."

Before the judge could continue, Murphy jumped up and shouted, "You basta*d!"

The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daaughter to death with a spanner..."

Again Murphy jumped up and shouted, "You dirty, rotten, evil basta*d!"

The judge stopped and called Murphey to his feet. "Murphy. One more outburst like that and I'll find you in contempt. What is your problem?"

Murphy says, "Judge, I've known Paddy for fifteen years. Whenever I asked him if I could borrow a spanner, he told me he didn't have one. Th ebasta*d!"


Stephen

[Desdemona01]

this thread covers exactly what I've been thinking. We just returned from the Volendam with some friends and we found, by far, some of the rudest people we've ever encountered aboard a ship. Throwing absolute tantrums because the omelet wasn't *dry* enough! Another one demanding that the omelet chef stop and make a sub sandwich while fixing omelets for other pax (it was breakfast time, not lunch). Insulting the staff like they were incapable of understanding the insults. Accusing winners of trivia contests of cheating, and not in a joking manner. I got a deliberate elbow in the side and almost knocked down by a woman who came out of nowhere while I was in line for a map for the port talk. We chatted with several pax who immediately asked us if we were finding more rude people than usual on this cruise, so we know it was not just our experience. We found ourselves apologizing to staff members who we talked to for the treatment they were receiving. We also noted on our comment cards that we were concerned that the staff would be penalized because some people would give them low marks just because they didn't get their specialized, completely outrageous demands.
It was a wonderful cruise and we had a great time but we were disappointed in some of our fellow passengers and their behavior toward the staff. I am amazed at how many people don't even bother with "please", "thank you", and "excuse me" anymore. We found that we always received a huge smile when thanking a staffer for something as simple as refilling the water glass. Yes, it's their job but there's nothing wrong with showing gratitude and consideration.

[hammybee]

[QUOTE=carlalena1]
Treading lightly here... could it be that because HAL caters to an older demographic, the pax are a little more... crabby? But then, so does Cunard. But then again, the QE2 less so than the QM2, I would think./QUOTE]

In my experience, the crabsters tend to be those new to cruising and tend to fall into the babyboom demographic. It seems they really buy into the marketing hype and expect not to lift a finger. Cruising is becoming so affordable that there are many, many people who maybe should not be cruising, but they are onboard, especially on shorter sails.

I have to admit I have an almost fondness for watching the crabsters get worked up about the silliest things and it seems that nothing will appease them.

[RevNeal]

One embarkation day I was standing in a fairly short line at the Front Office, patiently waiting my turn. Just as it was to be my turn, an irate older man (I won't call him a "Gentleman") come busting into line, pushing in front of me to begin blasting the lady at the Desk for some problem or other ... I never got straight what the issue was. He was yelling at the top of his lungs, gesturing with his hands, totally incoherent with rage and making a horrible scene.

After almost a minute of listening to his tirade, and as he stopped for a breath, I said from behind him: "Sir, perhaps it would be best if you would back away from the counter and take a few moments to calm down?"

The man threw over his shoulder: "Shut the filth up!" (Only, he didn't say "filth" ... he said a different "f" word, combined with a descriptive term that applies to a portion of my anatomy to be found in the relative vicinity of my posterior.)

With my own voice under control, I quietly said: "I beg your pardon?"

He spun around and reached out a finger to plant it on my chest ... only to stop mid-motion when he saw two things: (1) the stern, disapproving look in my eyes [so it was described to me by the Purser!], and (2) my clerical collar. He sputtered for a moment, dropped his hand, and said "I'm sorry Father."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You owe this nice young lady an apology; I suggest you offer it now."

He did, at about which time someone else came out and took the man aside and they began to deal with his problem on a more reasonable basis.

Sometimes one must call others on their inappropriate behavior. Oh, sure, usually the best response one can give to banshee-like behavior is to just "heap the burning coals of kindness on their heads." But, for some people that kind of approach does nothing to curb their sophomoric tirades. On such occasions, and if conditions are otherwise right, one must take a more proactive stance. Since public flogging is no longer an option in civilized society, I suggest assuming the persona of the most stern Principle you ever had in school :D

[SnorkelBear]

As usual, the Hammy is correct. Some people expect the trip of a lifetime, old time super deluxe, can't do enough for you, cruise. Luxe accommodations, gourmet food, personal servants.... all for the wonderful bargain basement price of $499. When expectations are not met, some people can become very evil. Some people are just evil all the time.

I think those dog shock collars would do the trick. Step out of line and get a good zap. I think they are cruel for dogs, but might be just about right for humans.:rolleyes:

[hammybee]

I think those dog shock collars would do the trick. Step out of line and get a good zap. I think they are cruel for dogs, but might be just about right for humans.:rolleyes:

A dog or two ago, we had a snarly yow barker and eventually got one of those zapper collars. It was of no use for this dog as he enjoyed being zapped but that is another story for another time.

Perhaps one of these collars is what you had in mind. It's so sensitive that the second it senses a certain timber it will zap the wearer. (Yeah, I tested it on myself before trying it out on the barking dog.) While I could coo softly, the second I raised my voice, I got zapped. Sometimes my DH suggests I wear it for the evening :) Silly man.

[RevNeal]

I think those dog shock collars would do the trick. Step out of line and get a good zap. I think they are cruel for dogs, but might be just about right for humans.:rolleyes:

Absolutely. Humans should know better than to behave worse than the most feral of our canine friends. Or, to put it conversely, most dogs know how to behave better than some humans! :D

[u4ea]

Those are some bad experiences some have shared. Interesting Rev Neal, you busted that guy, (sort of speak), but that respect for authority I think is often vain. (you’d appreciate Ecclesiastes 8:9);)
As far as the social demographics, sure there may be more bad people in or another, but ubiquitous nonetheless.
Snorkelbear, you been watching those old Star Trek episodes with the shock collars?;)
PRINSENDAM, since I’m going on the Noordam again soon, I’m thinking of bringing a blue magic marker and drawing a crown and anchor on the funnels of your paintings. (see, I can be one of them too):eek::D
Mark….

[Copper10-8]

Good rev, Rev!!:) Outstanding job! I'm just still trying to figure out that second puzzle part having to do with your posterior but I'm getting there! Did it have to do with a male donkey maybe?;)

[bdcbbq]

I was in Sam's Club Saturday patiently waiting for the highlighter lady to allow me to exit the store. This guy saunters to the head of the line and hands his reciept to her, like he was next in line, while saying thank you to me for letting him cut in. :(

One of the reasons I have always tipped well, is to make up for the folks who just don't know any better.

[dakrewser]

Absolutely. Humans should know better than to behave worse than the most feral of our canine friends. Or, to put it conversely, most dogs know how to behave better than some humans! :D

One type of dog collar or another, eh Greg? :rolleyes:

[RevNeal]

Those are some bad experiences some have shared. Interesting Rev Neal, you busted that guy, (sort of speak), but that respect for authority I think is often vain. (you’d appreciate Ecclesiastes 8:9);)

Absolutely. It is, indeed, often in vain. While I had no idea how this guy would respond, I also must admit that I didn't really realize that I was wearing clerics at the time. I was just tired of hearing this rude guy blow up at someone who, I'm not so sure, even knew why he was blowing up her her.

[Seago2]

I work in the local Family Court as a child's attorney, specializing in custody and visitation matters. Do you think I get much grief at all? Do you know how many times I've been threatened, abused, yelled at- and that's just by the local judiciary??? People going through divorce are not exactly polite or rational. People charged with child abuse and neglect usually bring along helpful Grandmas and other indignant posse members to harangue, argue, follow around, plead, and insult everyone who they believe is in on the decision making, regardless of what they are told 900 times or what the charges are. Ever seen a juvenile brought in after a few days in a detention center? Nice ride up in the elevator with them while they simultaneously put their belts on and rant and rave about being "locked up," "no judge is gonna tell me nothin," etc.

DH is a cop, 22 years on the force, 3 with the DEA breaking doors down and dragging people back in through windows. His days include "rational discussions" with DWI suspects, nice rides to the hospital with agitated schizophrenics, dealing with people who expect him to find their lost dog and are indignant when he has to leave, massive budget cuts and cuts in manpower, ETCETERA.........

My point: maybe I'm just immune to bad behavior. We also have 8 kids, 5 of them teenagers.

[u4ea]

Wow, and 8 kids!? Carla, you need more than a cruise to get away……or at least a cruise utopia. (another words a private yacht);)
Mark…

[Oceanwench]

A lot of us deal with verbal abuse from the general public on the job.

I may come to *expect* bad behavior in certain circumstances if I worked in the public sector -- say, in law enforcement or in municipal government. People love to rant about their tax dollars or complain that their street wasn't plowed, etc. etc.

Even though I am not working in the public sector, I still have to deal with the public, and I see bad behavior every day.

However, the point of this thread is about bad behavior on cruise ships -- the pax toward the staff or toward fellow pax.

I have seen some terrible verbal abuse heaped on crew members by pax. Some people seem to think the crew members are stupid and treat them as such. It breaks my heart to see this happen, and I never know the right thing to do in such situations. I try to be appreciative of all the crew's efforts, to remember to thank them for their service and their kindness.

On one cruise my sister and I decided to have breakfast in the dining room. We were seated with two women -- sisters. One was lovely and well-mannered. The other was caustic -- complained through the whole meal about the bad service on board, the poor quality of the food, etc. etc. She was so shrill to our server, it was embarrassing.

Both my daughters have worked in the service industry, and both have experienced verbal abuse from customers.

[ekerr19]

Oceanwench -

I couldn't agree more. :)

We avoid breakfast in the D/R these days as a similar experience happened to us on DH's first HAL cruise.

The other folks at the table could not have been more rude to the staff - the man was snapping his fingers and yelling "BOY, BOY" loudly and rudely to get the attention of the steward because his toast wasn't hot enough for his liking. He was throwing condiments and silverware on the table and cursing. We were appalled. We excused ourselves got up and left. The maitre d' followed and asked if there was a problem - we explained briefly and he offered to seat us elsewhere, but we'd pretty much been turned off by the whole thing and went to the Lido.

The comment I hear often and turns me off the most, "Speak English! I can't understand you!" I do know that there are times it may be difficult to understand some of the Indonesian staff - but listening instead of yelling will usually bridge the gap.

[u4ea]

I try to be appreciative of all the crew's efforts, to remember to thank them for their service and their kindness.

That a good reminder, as I found myself on my last cruise not to be proactive enough in speaking some kind words of appreciation. It’s true it takes such little effort to make someone’s day and offset the bad behavior of others. As Bob Marley once put it “Why not help one another along the way, makes it much easier”. :cool:
Ekerr19, wow, another bad story, you picked the “get away from them” option. I’ve been fortunate in that I can’t recall any bad behavior worth mentioning. That could partially be due to “cruise inebriation”;):D
Mark…..

[bdcbbq]

I have seen some terrible verbal abuse heaped on crew members by pax. Some people seem to think the crew members are stupid and treat them as such. It breaks my heart to see this happen, and I never know the right thing to do in such situations. I try to be appreciative of all the crew's efforts, to remember to thank them for their service and their kindness.

I always compliment the staff for the way they handled the jackasses and tell them that I appreciate their hard work. Frankly, if your right behind the jerks, and be nice you can sure get a great feeling by making the staff feel better.

[Blackleywindsor]

This has nothing to do with bad behavior- although I must admit I have seen some. You had mentioned seeing Dorothyl's note about Bernard in St Marten. My wife and I would be interested in doing that if we can get more info about Bernard. Sounds like a good deal. I also like the idea of a bus and ferry from St Thomas to St Johns for snorkeling.

Jim

[tinaparrotthead]

I've found a great way to throw the "miserable no matter what" people off balance is to respond with my biggest smile and a cheerful comment about something. It's even possible to get a smile back every now and then. Perhaps I'm a bit passive-aggressive in those situations, but I get a great deal of pleasure by surprising those people with kindness. Sometimes, they simply don't know what to do. I love it! :)

I like your style! During rush hour traffic to or from work, I see a lot of, shall we say, interesting one finger hand jesters, horns blowing, basic road rage from drivers to other drivers. I tend to keep my wits about me. When someone makes a really stupid move like riding behind me too close when I'm in the far right lane and then proceeds to almost rear ends me making a fast move around me and then makes that hand jester:mad: If given the opportunity, I get beside them and blow them a kiss.....the total shock is incredible!!! :):p They just don't know how to react to that and I hope it makes them stop and think...if only for a minute how riduculous and barbaric they are behaving.

[MBeamTX]

Last month on Noordam, my dad and I were at the front desk to pick up an extra immigration form and luggage tags. There were several people ahead of us in line and three staffers working the desk. One woman passenger was asking for a Canadian customs form. The woman at the desk said they didn't have those forms, only the U.S. ones and that she could get a customs form on her plane to Canada.

The passenger gets completely irate, saying she wasn't flying to Canada and that NCL had the forms on board, how she was going to be delayed for five hours at the border now, blah blah blah. The poor HAL rep was apologizing for not having the form, saying the U.S. form was all they had ever had. The passenger threw down the U.S. customs form and said, "I'm not filling this out! If I'm going to be delayed for hours, then I'm going to delay this entire ship!"

I'd had enough at that point and said, in a normal conversational tone, "Well, that's nice of you." She ignored me and kept ranting on. As I was called up to the counter by another HAL rep, I commented, "And I'd always heard Canadians were so polite!"

She stomped off soon after and I got a quick, grateful look from the HAL reps. Another woman who'd just picked up her forms said to me, "Did you just say what I thought you said!?" She enjoyed it because she'd seen this crankly woman being rude and demanding to everyone all week.

We agreed that as tough as it was to be around someone like her, the real punishment was having to be her. :rolleyes:

Happy cruising - despite the cranks and meanies,
Susan

[PRINSENDAM]

The passenger threw down the U.S. customs form and said, "I'm not filling this out! If I'm going to be delayed for hours, then I'm going to delay this entire ship!"

I'd had enough at that point and said, in a normal conversational tone, "Well, that's nice of you." She ignored me and kept ranting on. As I was called up to the counter by another HAL rep, I commented, "And I'd always heard Canadians were so polite!"

. :rolleyes:

Happy cruising - despite the cranks and meanies,
Susan



Susan... I'm just remined of an old joke.

On a very crowded London to Penzance train an American tourist steps into a 6-seat compartment loooking for a seat.

Four men are in the compartment and a fifth iseat is occuppied by a real pompous looking lady. Her large dog is sitting in the sixth seat.

The American, very politely, askes the lady if she would put her dog on the floor so he could have the seat. The lady suddenly launches into a verbal attack and refuses to move the dog. After a few minutes the American picks the dog up and throws it out of the window and takes the seat.

One of the English gentlemen says to the others, "The Americans are such stupid people. They drive on the wrong side of the road. They hold their fork in the wrong hand. They spell words incorrectly. And now this idiot has thrown the wrong bitch off the train!"


Stephen

[hammybee]

Susan... I'm just remined of an old joke.

Stephen

Made my day. Love it.

[MBeamTX]

Stephen,
Thanks for the laugh of the day! In my story and your joke, at least it wasn't the American being ugly for a change. :D

Happy cruising,
Susan

[ekerr19]

Stephen -

My thanks as well... I just read that and laughed out loud like I haven't in ages... :)

[serendipity1499]

Susan... I'm just remined of an old joke.

On a very crowded London to Penzance train an American tourist steps into a 6-seat compartment loooking for a seat.

Four men are in the compartment and a fifth iseat is occuppied by a real pompous looking lady. Her large dog is sitting in the sixth seat.

The American, very politely, askes the lady if she would put her dog on the floor so he could have the seat. The lady suddenly launches into a verbal attack and refuses to move the dog. After a few minutes the American picks the dog up and throws it out of the window and takes the seat.

One of the English gentlemen says to the others, "The Americans are such stupid people. They drive on the wrong side of the road. They hold their fork in the wrong hand. They spell words incorrectly. And now this idiot has thrown the wrong bitch off the train!"

Stephen

Oh Stephen..Thanks for giving DH & me such a good laugh over that one!

On the Prinsendam, we had a small table for 6 & were given exceptional service in the DR by our Stewards..One day our Assist. Steward was working in the Lido & insisted on carrying my tray to our table..I really did not need to have my tray carried & when I thanked him suggested he was spoiling me..I added that some of the older ladies really needed more help than me..His answer to me was; "You never fail to thank us & give us a big smile for every little thing we do at dinner & this is the least I could do to show you our appreciation & thanks for being so nice to us"..I was humbled by that & never fail to show appreciation for every little thing the staff does for us..When we left the ship, the ladies at the table hugged both our Waiters..I was later chagrined to learn on Cruise Critic, that this was not the proper thing for ladies to do with Indonesian Men, as it embarrasses them:o ..However Sail 7 Seas pointed out to me that our Stewards understood & knew we were expressing our love & appreciation & it was OK to do..

But still remembering what others had said, on the last cruise on the Ryndam, we thanked our Waiters for the wonderful service, but I held out my hand & did not initiate the hug...I was taken aback when both Stewards hugged me & my friend after shaking our DH's hand..From now on, I won't feel as guilty about thanking our wonderful crew with a hug when we leave the ship & now realize that Sail was right again!..

That's why Sail was picked to be the Mariner's Representative when the Noordam was launched..Heed her wisdom about cruising folks & you'll never go wrong!:)

Hope you all have a very Wonderful Christmas & a Happy Healthy & Peaceful New Year....And Happy Cruising..:) Betty

P.S. Hammybee your dog story reminded me of the wonderful story you told us about your dog & your neighbors bed..Did you ever submit it to Readers Digest?

[RevNeal]

Susan... I'm just remined of an old joke.

On a very crowded London to Penzance train an American tourist steps into a 6-seat compartment loooking for a seat.

Four men are in the compartment and a fifth iseat is occuppied by a real pompous looking lady. Her large dog is sitting in the sixth seat.

The American, very politely, askes the lady if she would put her dog on the floor so he could have the seat. The lady suddenly launches into a verbal attack and refuses to move the dog. After a few minutes the American picks the dog up and throws it out of the window and takes the seat.

One of the English gentlemen says to the others, "The Americans are such stupid people. They drive on the wrong side of the road. They hold their fork in the wrong hand. They spell words incorrectly. And now this idiot has thrown the wrong bitch off the train!"

I, and PETA, agree with the English Gentleman! :D ;)
Thanks, Stephen ... perfectly off-colour. :D

[hammybee]

P.S. Hammybee your dog story reminded me of the wonderful story you told us about your dog & your neighbors bed..Did you ever submit it to Readers Digest?

You have a good memory. It's the same dog too. It's interesting the pieces of all of our lives, that we seem to know. Have a great holiday.

Sorry for going off topic.