Are you always nice or are pretending to be nice on a cruise?

[Thoth]

I have been on 5 cruises, 3 on HAL including the graceful Oosterdam last month. When on board a ship just about everybody is so very nice to me. I get to wondering is this real? Are these people being themselves, you know the same as the other 51 weeks out of the year? It's like once I get off the ship, people change everywhere I go.
Speaking for myself, I am a shy & very private person, but get me on ship and I find a gregarious side which stays buried most of the time. I talk to everybody with ease and I even enjoy playing Elvis in the Great Pretenders Lip-sync show.
It would seem that cruising fullfills some pschological niche in our lives which deals with interpersonal trust and fear of showing inner weakness. In one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books there is this story about the Golden Budda hidden in the clay model. The story goes that each of us has a Golden Budda which is our true nature but we hide this true beauty from the world becouse we feel vulnerable. The ugly clay outside is what the world sees becouse that is what we show them.
Then again maybe all this analogy is nonsense and nice people simply love to cruise and all miscreants hate cruise ship vacations?

[ekerr19]

I talk to everyone! My DH can't believe how many people I get to know on a cruise ship :)

[bombero]

I'd like to think that people are nice to each other every day, but in my life time I've found that's not the case.. I'd prefer that most people would pretend to be nice, as long as they were nice for 7 days... Bombero

[Orcrone]

I'm not quite as philosophical. I do tend to think I'm probably a bit nicer while on a cruise. But it's just because most of the normal stress situations (work, shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the yard, etc.) are all 1000 miles away.

[kms18]

I know I am nicer on a cruise. I am having so much fun I will talk to anyone. My DH hates when I do that.

[clopaw]

As I've gotten older, I find that I talk to strangers in all sorts of situations. It's the kind of thing that is soooo embarrassing for teenagers when their parents do it. And I think, IMHO, that I'm pretty nice almost all of the time.

[jhannah]

... most of the normal stress situations (work, shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the yard, etc.) are all 1000 miles away.I believe this is the key. We're escaping completely (with apologies to Princess Cruises ;) ) so our barriers are lowered and we're anticipating a pleasant experience. Most folks aboard HAL ships, from my experience, know their barrier lowering limits and don't digress to the level of spring break antics.

[FlorenceItaly]

I talk to anyone, and everyone while cruising, and at home :).

Marie

[Orcrone]

As I've gotten older, I find that I talk to strangers in all sorts of situations. It's the kind of thing that is soooo embarrassing for teenagers when their parents do it. And I think, IMHO, that I'm pretty nice almost all of the time.Embarrassing teenagers is enough motivation in itself.:D

[localady]

Embarrassing teenagers is enough motivation in itself.:D
I am sure that I embarass my kids regardless of whether I talk or not!!:eek: (I think it's a teenage thing!) I tend to talk to anyone, anytime, and am generally gregarious by nature! I really don't try to embarass them, but as we all know we parents just get "dumber and dumber" during the teenage years!!!:rolleyes:

[sail7seas]

Heck No.....if someone peeves me on a cruise, I'll get just as annoyed as I would at home. Maybe it might take a bit more to peeve me, though??

[iluvcruzin]

I find most people who cruise are in a festive mood and are very happy to be onboard. I'm the opposite of shy. It traces back even to Kindergarten where I had "talks too much" listed on behavior. LOL..

I enjoy talking to fellow passengers and meeting new aquaintenaces. This is one of the reasons I prefer a large table in the dining room.

[dakrewser]

A cruise gives you the opportunity to be dropped into a "small town" with little pre-history. You can re-invent yourself as you'd like without, as Orcrone noted, "... most of the normal stress situations (work, shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the yard, etc.)"

For just a little while, you can be whoever you'd like to be.

[kryos]

I'd like to think that people are nice to each other every day, but in my life time I've found that's not the case.. I'd prefer that most people would pretend to be nice, as long as they were nice for 7 days... Bombero
LOL ... but I honestly don't think people are "playing nice" on a cruise ship. I think it's genuine even if they aren't normally that nice.

Speaking for myself, it would seem that something about being on a cruise ship just brings out the niceness in everybody. The environment is relaxed and that just makes people genuinely friendly and easy to talk to.

Guess the solution is to cruise 52 weeks a year? :)

I only wish. :)

Blue skies ...

--rita

[saltydog28]

I don't think you can pretend to be nice. I think that it is something that is inbred. Like when you hold the door, or tell an elderly cruiser how fine they look on formal night.
Just don't let me get behind the wheel and steer that ship, you might hear some colorful phrases.
Take care,
Pat.

[lipoppop]

A cruise gives you the opportunity to be dropped into a "small town" with little pre-history. You can re-invent yourself as you'd like without, as Orcrone noted, "... most of the normal stress situations (work, shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the yard, etc.)"

For just a little while, you can be whoever you'd like to be.


And leave the baggage at home. :)

[Krazy Kruizers]

:)

We have found that when the crew is friendly, so are we. And we end up talking a lot more.

Wish everyone in life could be friendly - or at least take a positive look at life and try to be happy.

:)

[Tatka]

As I've gotten older, I find that I talk to strangers in all sorts of situations. It's the kind of thing that is soooo embarrassing for teenagers when their parents do it. And I think, IMHO, that I'm pretty nice almost all of the time.
Specially in my case...when my son's Mom has a strong accent. :o

Oh well, I hope he will somehow excuse me ;) ...I just can't stop.

Last year my DH didn't cruise with us and I thought I would feel very lonely (as my son of course spent very little time with me). By the end of the cruise I felt like I have tons of new friends.:) ( I noticed that cruises bring people closer than on land vacations)

[ASM]

I think I'm the same. Nice 99.99% of the time! I also talk to people although I actually seem to do more listening than talking. On the surface I make friends easily. Really I'm rather reserved and a private person.

[Orcrone]

:mad: I don't pretend to be nice. I just stay nasty all the time.:mad:

[jhannah]

Somehow, I seriously doubt that! Now, other people .........

[cactuslady]

Thoth raises an interesting question. When I met my DH on the Ryndam, what struck me was he was so NICE to everybody (not just me). Naturally, I wondered if he would be different on shore. We just had our first anniversary, and (so far ;) ) he's turned out to be the world's sweetest guy. :D

Hope this piece of anecdotal evidence helps in your scientific study.

[jazzsea]

I'm pretty nice all the time. Although the last few months have been pretty stressful. You may have noticed me on this board more often. The board actually reminds me of being on a cruise or getting ready for a cruise.

The involvement and interaction cheers me and I like to offer information for those that have questions.

On a ship I am more quiet than at home. I'm pretty shy. DH is fairly outgoing. I talk on the phone all day (booking cruises, answering questions, dealing with HAL). Sometimes I just like the peace and quiet of a cruise. Unless it is one of my groups, no one expects me to do anything for them. It is not "showtime" everytime I leave my cabin.

I love to cruise and I love the spirit and atmosphere of a cruise. Most cruise passengers board the ship expecting to have a good time. Their attitude makes it wonderful for the rest of us.

I don't expect to have a good time..... I KNOW I will have a good time. Isn't that one of the real joys of cruising?

[Smiles]

I'd like to think I am the same person whether on or off the ship. But I have reason for pause, when thinking of my last cruise. My hubby and I were very outgoing and jovial at our assigned dinners when meeting fellow cruisers. We enjoyed sharing ourselves and having a good time; even though we both tend to be shy (my hubby more than me). Well, one morning I convinced him to go to the dinning room for breakfast rather than the buffet. I must admit, it felt rather stiffling. Perhaps it was because it was a table for 12, rather than 6; perhaps because we were the last couple seated at the table, and the others seemed to be at least a "group" of 8 who had travelled together. But I admit, that there were forced smiles and stiffled talks. I felt like I was being interrogated rather than having a pleasant breakfast (i.e., what do you do for a living, how many children, no children, why not?) My hubby who is already shy, and who I have learned to accept doesn't talk in the morning, was pleasant, but uncomfortable. Needless to say, it was our last breakfast in the dinning room. Yeah, we are always (at least try to be) nice and pleasant. But sometimes, it isn't always natural.

One thing is natural, we always have a good time on a cruise.

[RuthC]

It's easy to be nicer than we normally are when we're cruising. As others have said---what's there not to be nice about?

But I also think we're on our " best behavior", too. It's not hard to be polite to everyone, to hold our tongues, to be excruciatingly correct for 7-10 days. It's a little harder when the cruise lengthens, though! When cruises go 2-3 weeks and more I find that people start to let their hair down and become more themselves.
Now, this is not a bad thing. I rather enjoy it when I can get to know my fellow travelers on a more complex level. But there is a definite change.

[Lois R]

Hi:) very interesting question....."shy" and "quiet" have never been part of my personality. I talk to people in the grocery store or in the shoe store. That is just me.
Now on a cruise, yes, I am much more relaxed, but nicer or not?...I would hope I am a nice person here at home...but of course we all have "our moods". I don't know anyone who doesn't "have a bad day".

But, a cruise always brings out the best in me....I feel like my smile is constant:) .....(not a pretend smile)...... I LOVE cruising and what could be better...to be on a ship for a week?
Quick story......I was sitting in the Cova Cafe on the Mercury (for anyone who has been on the ship) for those who haven't...it is a wonderful area, they serve specialty coffees....there are couches and tables and chairs around and music in the evening (piano). The Cafe also has a very nice bar...one of my favorite spots. (oops sorry, I digress) LOL..anyway........one early evening I am sitting at the bar talking to one of my favorite bartenders...about this and that...and speaking to some other folks at the bar. When a woman who is sitting a few seats over asks me "Do you always talk to everyone"?........(she could see I was sitting on my own)...so I said..."yes" and tried to explain how easy it is to meet people on a ship. She kind of shrugged.......oh well, I love meeting people and on a cruise..it is easy:D ....we all (most of us anyway) have ONE MAJOR thing in common...CRUISING:D .....it is so easy to start chatting about it!
So, to your original question.......I hope I am nice here at home...and it is really easy to be nice for a week on a cruise ship:)

[Vicar]

I think I am a nice person pretty much all the time at home and on vacation. I try to be any way. Granted if some one ticks me off I will let them have it , but even that takes a lot before I will say anything.

I am by nature very talkative and gregarious. I can start a conversation with someone in line at the super market. *LOL* My gF cannot believe I wasn't kidnapped as a child because I will walk up and talk to anyone. *LOL*


I think most people are very nice, some more outgoing and friendlier than others in everyday life, but basically nice people. Something about being on vacation and leaveing the everyday cares and woes behind for a week or so might make people come out of their shells and strike up a conversation with the folks at the next table, or in line at the buffet or whatever.

Plus on a cruise there are so many "ice breakers" for conversation. " How did you enjoy your day in Cozumel?" "Where are you from?"

Just a much more conducive environment to meeting people.

[Lois R]

Vicar...you really said it best:D

Quote
"Just a much more conducive environment to meeting people"

I couldn't agree more!:)

[Vicar]

Why thank you Lois :)


Dancing along with you :)

[grannynurse]

I even mentioned in my cruise review about people's ability to maintain "nice" for 34 days...and we had alot of grumpy people onboard, right Ruth?

Granted everyone has a bad day or two, when coping mechanisms don't seem to kick in, but on some of our longer cruises we saw a lot of not-so-nice-behaviors.

It also could be associated with the demographics on people who go on 'long" cruises, and do it often.

No, not everyone is like this, but there were far too many grumps, cussers, and entitled folk on this last one. Near the end, I tended to draw into myself for protection against the elements, I can't smile when crew is being abused.
'nuf said.
GN

[Lois R]

Vicar, your welcome:).......if we ever sail together, I will take you up on the dance:D ......hope your girlfriend won't mind!

[Vicar]

Lois , i would love it :)

As long as you aren't my ex wife Gf wouldn't mind us dancing together at all *LOL*

[Thoth]

Wow, what wonderful responses this thread has recieved! Thanks to each and every one of you who posted their thoughts. One point I could bring out is that this board attracts polite people which is a statement within itself concerning cruiseing.
To answer my own question, I feel it's a combination of nice people who go on cruises in order to show off their inner beauty.

[jazzsea]

Now I'm wondering if I can be smiling and easy going for 35 days. We're booked on the 35 day transatlantic (Boston - Rotterdam - Boston) next July. I suspect I might have a few "time outs" during one of the segments. I'm not crabby by nature but I don't tolerate other people being rude to staff members.

[grannynurse]

The attitudes on board were directed in part by the many messages from the bridge. When time after time an anouncement would begin "The Keptin of the RRRotterrrdam: UNFORTUNATELY ....... and end with "and it will probably get vorse" the mood tends to sour. The tone of the messages seemed a trend and became expected fare. Peolpe would cringe when the PA system beeped.

Now, small slightly aggravating events combined with ucky weather, equipment breakdown (most minor), and shortages tend to magnify among 1300 pax, and set a mood.

There is still no excuse for bad behavior and mistreatment of people who are trying their best to do their jobs.

But let's face it, people spend alot of money to take a 34 day cruise and have high expectations for the present cruise and fond memories of past cruises. When expectations are not met, people react in different ways, some make lemonade, some cope, some gripe, some scream, some get hostile, and some hide.

Picture 1300 people cooped up due to missed ports, rough seas, no internet, power outages, little to no TV reception hearing the "Voice of Doom" from the bridge with more bad news, and little being done to alleviate the situations, and WHAM, you have a cruise from HELL on the DAMDAM.

I'm sure this is very out of the ordinary and brought out the worst in probably everyone. However, if someone is going to take a long cruise, spend all that money, they should realize that people are people and will act like people act in a wonderful atmosphere and in adversity.

As I said before, We spent too much money to stay mad. We really did have a great time with many wonderful people and had alot of fodder for conversation. It's just too bad that the group dynamics couldn't be improved.

Has anybody else noticed an over-all mood (good or bad) on board longer cruises?
GN

[jhannah]

I can certainly understand how the circumstances all combined to make things a tad miserable. I've always wondered about the dynamics of longer voyages. As much as I love being on a ship, after a couple of weeks what are you going to do that's fresh and new? By then you've pretty well had the experience. If there are many sea days, then I think I would get cabin fever. Glad you made the best of it you could, GN.

[RuthC]

granny, maybe I was oblivious, but other than the lack of energy due to all that fog, I really didn't see too much in the way of bad behavior; certainly not over and above the usual on a long cruise. And that even includes the man who (verbally) assalted me (twice).

Jim, a longer cruise is quite different from the 7-10 day variety. One tends to get into a rhythm early. There is no (self-imposed) pressure to do it/eat it all ASAP becuase you feel there's always tomorrow. There are extensive activities to fill the time. (There were several lecture series on this last cruise.)

jazzsea, don't worry at all about staying upbeat for the 35 days. You will make downtime as you need it, and still not feel you're missing anything.

[Orcrone]

Grannynurse and Ruthc,

When I'm on a 7 day cruise, I start getting a little disappointed the next to last night, knowing I only have one more full day to go prior to my return to reality. When on a 35 day cruise, do you get that feeling with a week to go?:) :rolleyes:

[RuthC]

Grannynurse and Ruthc,

When I'm on a 7 day cruise, I start getting a little disappointed the next to last night, knowing I only have one more full day to go prior to my return to reality. When on a 35 day cruise, do you get that feeling with a week to go?:) :rolleyes:No. It doesn't happen "til the last couple of days!
To be honest, Marc, I was (almost) ready to come home after this cruise, but I think it was because of all the rain and fog. The dreary weather made for a dreary RuthC (hard, to believe, eh?).

At the end of my first 33-day cruise ('95) the ship was leaving L.A. for a 16-day Hawaii cruise to be followed by a 14-day Panama Canal cruise. I needed a day to sleep (oh, yeah), and do laundry, but I was ready to stay on for those next 30 days.

[bepsf]

Always nice or pretending to be nice - it doesnt matter as long as folks aren't being rude...

As far as bad moments, we all have them on occassion. When the spa on Oosterdam left me in the "relaxation room" for an hour, then refused to compensate me w/ a free massage at a later time - Yes, I was furious, but didn't take it out on anybody. (No need to get in a p***ing match with the Aussie spa manager - would only raise my blood pressure more) It did give me fodder for cocktail conversation that evening. In a couple days, word had spread and nearly everyone aboard had heard of "the guy who was forgotten in the spa"...

BTW - I did end up getting a massage on our last at-sea day. Shouldn't have bothered - I was neither relaxing or worth the effort...

Brian

[Thoth]

I'm not crabby by nature but I don't tolerate other people being rude to staff members.
Interesting that you brought that up becouse I had one time during my week long cruise where I broke down and smarted off to someone. While in Sitka waiting for our tender back to the Oosterdam I met a real life Archie Bunker. He fussed at his humble and embarrissed wife constantly about "your putting me on the boat this says Rotterdam we need the Ouderdam" and she would sweetly reply "no dear it says Oosterdam -Rotterdam" . The Asian men had a little problem getting the tender to aline and had to straighten up. He poor mouthed the staff driving the tender boat by saying among other things "If there is one thing I hate, it's stupid people" . So I asked the man "Could YOU drive this thing,?" I then said rather loudly "I sure would hate to be HIS dining Room waiter." He seemed to shut up after that.