summercruisin'

That concern was a big part of why my teen finally settled on "M" for the passport. We talked about how this one will be valid for 10 years, and who knows where we/they will travel in that time, so choosing the marker that matches their name and typical appearance allows them a little more opportunity to keep their head down and blend in when it is necessary for safer (hopefully) travel around those less tolerant. I'm thankful US passports allow self-identification, at least. But, as you mentioned, it is important to make that decision very carefully.

Thank you 🙂. For the life of me, I cannot understand how any parent could possibly watch their child go to the very very dark mental places I have witnessed and not do what is necessary to at least help them just be okay. That's where we are...happiness is a goal and a dream, but for now, we settle for making sure they are okay. Thank you for being there for your patients and helping them be okay until they can get to a better place. ❤️

After what I've been going through with my kid, I think it really comes down to being resistant to change. My teen (afab) legally changed their name a little more than a year ago but in our state cannot change gender marker, so their driver's license/ID shows "F." When we started to book a trip to Europe, we had long discussions about what to choose for the passport, since there is the option of M, F, or X, and they allow one to self-designate, even if it does not match birth certificates or other documents. I called the cruise line (Princess) several times to try to decide what to put where they ask for a gender marker, since "X" is not an option there, and I originally booked it with "F" in that spot, since that matches the state ID. After all that, we decided to choose "M" for the passport, because they pass more as a male and their new-ish legal name is more masculine. As long as no one does genital checks (which would be obviously unacceptable!), we should be good with no more than maybe a second glance (fingers crossed!). When I called Princess to update the gender marker there after finalizing the passport, the first two people I spoke with said it really didn't matter, as long as the name and birthdate were correct. I had to call a third person and insist they change it, because it matters to my kid, and they finally did. But, their insistence that it didn't matter makes me think it may not even matter for the manifest after all.

Hi Judy! I (OP) am just now seeing these responses, but I am so glad you reached out to get some suggestions for your upcoming trip! I saw on later posts you specifically mentioned signing in and out of the teen clubs. My kiddo said when he went to the teen areas, he did not have to sign in or out at all, and that that was the policy for the older teens on Carnival. My kid was 16 at the time. So, hopefully your great grandson won't have to worry about what name/nickname to put.

Although it has been a while since I checked back, I am thankful for you sharing this information for the grandma, since we can benefit as we prepare to go to Europe. We are not going to Turkey, partly because I was concerned about this, so this reinforces my decision to skip it. I am sorry you are having to miss out as well, but I wish you safe travels!

Just to follow up/update, in case this helps anyone... For the 2023 cruise, we kept the gender as "female" since that matched all the documents (passport, original birth certificate, driving permit), so everything had "Miss" on it, unfortunately. We had a little trouble at boarding because of the name change and the lack of experience on the part of those at port, but it worked out after a few extra steps. Once onboard, we told the room steward that the kid didn't want to be called "Miss" anything, and it was never mentioned again 🙂 Now, we are preparing to cruise again but with Princess and in Europe. When I booked it, we did not have an updated passport, but now the passport had been updated to show the correct gender (as is allowed). Driver's license shows sex assigned at birth, as required in our state at this time. Once the passport was updated, it took about 8 calls over about 3 weeks' time to get Princess to change the title and gender marker, but when I finally got to the right person, it was done. Along the way, I was told several times that it really didn't matter, as long as the legal name and birth date matched. I couldn't seem to make the representatives understand that it DOES matter to my kid, who has a legal masculine name and doesn't want to be called "Miss." Plus, since the passport has the correct gender marker and we are travelling to Europe, I am hoping having it corrected on Princess's part, so that it matches the passport, will help make boarding a little easier this time, but I'm not gonna lie...as a parent, I am a little worried about the whole thing. So what I've learned...for now, lots of people, including those in travel, still just don't really understand, and that is fine as long as everyone is respectful (and everyone so far has been, even when clearly confused 😄), although I do wish people weren't so fixated on feeling as if they have to know one's genitals in order to decide how to act around them. Hopefully one day there will be more training and more accepting options regarding this particular issue. For now, it looks like you can probably pick whichever gender marker and title you want during booking, and unless there is some reason for concern (maybe travel to certain places?), it won't matter. Safe travels, everyone!

Thanks, bear. The kid does have "real ID" for the permit, but everything (including that ID) has "female" right now - listed as "sex" NOT "gender" which is what the cruise line requested. So, we are tolerating putting "female" for that, in order to cruise. And it looks like the system won't let us change the title to "Mr." with "female" in place, so that is what we went with.

Hi all, I am trying to add my child as my 2nd guest for an upcoming cruise. Kiddo was assigned female at birth, but is transgender. We have legally changed his name, but we have not been able to change his gender marker in time for this cruise. The page for adding him on is asking for gender (not sex) as well as a title (to be fair, there are some fun ones listed that I may choose). Anyway, we are flying in (to Florida, no less, which is pretty terrifying as well) with a driver's permit that has a masculine name but lists Female as sex. Am I forced to put "female" under "gender" while adding my kid on my cruise ticket? Or does it matter? And, can the title NOT match the "gender"? Like, if I decide to put "female" since that is what is on the ID, but choose "Mr." as the title, would that work? I've called the cruise but the person I have talked to does not seem to understand what I am asking. She has literally put me on hold and come back 3 times now (still on the phone) to tell me the name has to match the birth certificate. And I keep telling her I am not asking about the name. I am asking about the gender marker and the title. Has anyone had this issue, by chance, and can advise?