The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

So, I just got off Magic today. I took my 3 darling sons, 12, 14, and 16. Let me preface the story by telling a few things. My kids are no angels. They are boys. They act like boys. Nor are they hooligans. They are pretty much A/B honor students, but I am on a first name basis with the assistant principal at both the junior high and the high school. Please understand, these people actually LIKE my kids, they are really NOT horrid, the trouble is usually talking too much in class. It is NEVER them being disrespectful to adults or anything like that. So, mine are smart, very social, athletic, what I would consider "normal" teenagers.

We have been on 6 cruises together, 4 of which I took them by myself. We went on 3 this year...so we're all veterans and I have my rules, which I've been easing up on a little over the years, because they've done so well with the extra freedom on a cruise ship. So, this time, instead of making them come in by 1, I told them they could stay out later but they had to check in by 1 and tell me exactly where they were going to be. Still wasn't allowing them to go to anyone else's cabin because that makes me nervous.

So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else.

At 2:30 my 12 and 14 year old are shaking me awake telling me I have to get up right now because security has to talk to me about thier cabin (the 2 older boys were across the hall from me). So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award.

Security is in there, 4 of them, taking pictures of the damage and letting my 16 year old have it. He, thank God, is in full "yessir" "nosir" mode. Apparently, one of the new friends that came over brought beer. I found out how 16 year olds get this, the 21 year old siblings buy it fot them. So, he had 3 beers in there, which I guess the little turds shared. But the real problem started when this kid decided to have a cigarette in the cabin. He lit it in there and set off the alarm. When the alarm went off, the other kids scattered. The kid with the cigarette knocked one of the light fixtures down trying to run out and then dropped the cigarette on the carpet!

So, we have broken light fixture, burnt carpet, cabin smoking rules broken. Then I had to sign a form saying I would do a better job of supervising my children. It was fabulous, really. I did a better job right then and there, I had the 2 older ones strip their beds and make pallets in my room to sleep on. It was a good lesson for all of us I suppose.

They fixed the light fixture and actually only charged me the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in the cabin. It didn't ruin our cruise or anything. My kids were all actually better behaved than usual after that. It gave them a pretty good scare, so all in all, not so bad...and let me know they're not quite ready for more responsibility just yet. Though, my oldest son will be giving me half his paychecks till the money is paid back...so I guess he got a little more responsibility and adult fun after all. :D

Oh, funniest thing ever...the next night, my 12 year old and I went to dinner alone, so we're at a 2 top with an older couple seated about 4 inches away from us at their own 2 top. Naturally conversation ensues...so they find out I'm alone with my 3 teenage boys...and they ask if I heard about the poor lady who got woke up by security when her kids set off the fire alarm!! Good news travels fast!

Why didn't the parents of the smoker pay the fine?

Why didn't the parents of the smoker pay the fine?

I didn't even persue it with them and neither did security. Problem number one was that said parents didn't even speak English. Plus it would have been a whole he said/he said thing. I had no proof of WHO was doing the smoking. For all I know, it was my own precious little darling. I just told my son, his cabin, his problem...and really it was ultimately MY problem.

How come you didnt make the parent of the kid who caused the damage pay for it? Did you kids hang out with that kid anymore?

Ill admit your more brave than I am! :-)

Yours are the cherubs that run amok but check in at 1am.

Well, I know when my kid has friends over, they are checked on quite often.

On a ship, I don't think I would be so liberal as to let anyone in behind a closed door. I can only hope your experience teaches a lesson to others.

Well, I know when my kid has friends over, they are checked on quite often.

 

On a ship, I don't think I would be so liberal as to let anyone in behind a closed door. I can only hope your experience teaches a lesson to others.

Exactly why I posted it. I honestly did not expect THAT kind of trouble from my kids...more the being too loud variety. It was a learning experience for all of us...and no, they are NOT allowed to have friends in the cabin anymore.

So, I just got off Magic today. I took my 3 darling sons, 12, 14, and 16. Let me preface the story by telling a few things. My kids are no angels. They are boys. They act like boys. Nor are they hooligans. They are pretty much A/B honor students, but I am on a first name basis with the assistant principal at both the junior high and the high school. Please understand, these people actually LIKE my kids, they are really NOT horrid, the trouble is usually talking too much in class. It is NEVER them being disrespectful to adults or anything like that. So, mine are smart, very social, athletic, what I would consider "normal" teenagers.

 

We have been on 6 cruises together, 4 of which I took them by myself. We went on 3 this year...so we're all veterans and I have my rules, which I've been easing up on a little over the years, because they've done so well with the extra freedom on a cruise ship. So, this time, instead of making them come in by 1, I told them they could stay out later but they had to check in by 1 and tell me exactly where they were going to be. Still wasn't allowing them to go to anyone else's cabin because that makes me nervous.

 

So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else.

 

At 2:30 my 12 and 14 year old are shaking me awake telling me I have to get up right now because security has to talk to me about thier cabin (the 2 older boys were across the hall from me). So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award.

 

Security is in there, 4 of them, taking pictures of the damage and letting my 16 year old have it. He, thank God, is in full "yessir" "nosir" mode. Apparently, one of the new friends that came over brought beer. I found out how 16 year olds get this, the 21 year old siblings buy it fot them. So, he had 3 beers in there, which I guess the little turds shared. But the real problem started when this kid decided to have a cigarette in the cabin. He lit it in there and set off the alarm. When the alarm went off, the other kids scattered. The kid with the cigarette knocked one of the light fixtures down trying to run out and then dropped the cigarette on the carpet!

 

So, we have broken light fixture, burnt carpet, cabin smoking rules broken. Then I had to sign a form saying I would do a better job of supervising my children. It was fabulous, really. I did a better job right then and there, I had the 2 older ones strip their beds and make pallets in my room to sleep on. It was a good lesson for all of us I suppose.

 

They fixed the light fixture and actually only charged me the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in the cabin. It didn't ruin our cruise or anything. My kids were all actually better behaved than usual after that. It gave them a pretty good scare, so all in all, not so bad...and let me know they're not quite ready for more responsibility just yet. Though, my oldest son will be giving me half his paychecks till the money is paid back...so I guess he got a little more responsibility and adult fun after all. :D

 

Oh, funniest thing ever...the next night, my 12 year old and I went to dinner alone, so we're at a 2 top with an older couple seated about 4 inches away from us at their own 2 top. Naturally conversation ensues...so they find out I'm alone with my 3 teenage boys...and they ask if I heard about the poor lady who got woke up by security when her kids set off the fire alarm!! Good news travels fast!

I think you, mom, deserve a medal. First off you took your kids on a vacation and gave them rules to follow but tried to let them have some freedom too. When they got into trouble you didn't try to blame the problems on someone else. Too many parents nowadays think their kids are angels who can do no wrong. These parents let their kids get away with all sorts of bad behaviour- I think the parents are not interested in actually being the parent; they want to be the kids friend. Also your son is going have to work to pay off his debt. He will always remember this and it will remind him of the consequences to certain actions: a great lesson to learn! When our son was about 18 he had a minor car accident in our car. He freely admitted it was his fault as he had been distracted. No one was injured but there was lots of damage to the car. Insurance covered most of it except the deductible which was $1000.00. He had to pay that - took him many months, paying a bit each pay, but he is a better, more responsible person for it.

Again, Mom you deserve a medal!!

A good deal of honesty on the part of the OP; thanks for opening up. Gives a dose of perspective to the next "Out of Control Kids" thread. Also a very realistic portrayal of parenting in the real world, where it's a constant challenge not to over-control and enable immaturity. Good job, (IMO) for letting the rope out thoughtfully and being fully ready to deal with the consequences without excuse. Sometimes they establish their own boundaries by the dumb-a** things they do. I for one think you handled it great! (Although if there had been any practical way of apologizing the the guests in the surrounding cabins my own DS would have been doing that too...but I bet a smart momma like you already thought of that :))

Good learning experience for cruisers who have the kids that "never" do anything wrong...

Kudos to you mom! Now, let's see how long it takes for this thread to turn ugly...

I didn't even persue it with them and neither did security. Problem number one was that said parents didn't even speak English. Plus it would have been a whole he said/he said thing. I had no proof of WHO was doing the smoking. For all I know, it was my own precious little darling. I just told my son, his cabin, his problem...and really it was ultimately MY problem.

The son made the wrong decision, but like a teen, never thought beyond his nose. I'm sure he'll think twice about consequence another time and think twice. I applaud you for what you did, and if you had taken the time and effort (which would be fruitless and time consuming), you would have in essence be telling him it's okay they were drinking and smoking in HIS cabin, because HE didn't do it.

I think you did great!! When our middle son was 16, he got a speeding ticket. He had to pay it with money he earned at his summer job. I also revoked driving priv, I drove him to the courthouse to pay it, he said,"What do I do?" I said,( as I stayed in the car) "I don't know , I guess when you go in by yourself you will find out." No more tickets. :)

Thanks to all who are supportive. I know I am asking to get flamed by telling this. However, I don't care about the flamers. I really don't. I don't know them, they don't know me. I have just seen a whole lot of threads about how much freedom to give teens. I have no issue sharing what "could" happen. My little Knights in Shining Armour also carried a completely sloshed 15 year old girl to her cabin the last night to make sure she got there safely. I was personally surprised by the amount of underage drinking going on. I honestly believed it would be impossible, or at least very difficult for kids to get ahold of enough alcohol on a cruise ship to do any damage. Clearly I was mistaken and I wanted other parents to be wise to it too. I cannot be the only one who didn't know how easy it was.

Gotta love boys!

I took my two on a cruise years ago. They were 13 and 16 at the time (13 yo looked about 16, to the point where he rented a jetski in Bermuda and they never questioned his age)

The boys were suppose to be at the teen club or whatever they called it. Apparently they had a scavenger hunt activity. I coincidentally was walking around the promanade deck when I hear "Hi Mom"! I looked around, didnt see anyone, then hear the voice again. "Mom, Im up here" I look up to see my darling 13 year old dangling from a lifeboat! I dont know why, but I yelled at him to get down immediately. Thinking it over many times since, I should have called security or told him to stay there and I would get help. Anyway, my son survived and claimed he was looking for something for the hunt, which his 16 yo brother, my other darling son, told him was in the lifeboat. He climbed on the railing of the ship, then somehow pulled himself up into the the lifeboat.

I am happy to say that the older one will be graduating from college next spring and the younger one just got a basketball scholarship to a Div 1 University, where he will attend in the fall!!! (And yes, hes 18, looking about 28!!!)

Good job mom. It's hard to let our kids live with the consequences of their actions, but you did so without nagging.

We have four kids, 18, 20, 23, and 26. They are all basically all good kids, but each one has sneaked out of the house when a teen. They all got caught. One would think that the youngest two would have learned that we would find out, but teenagers aren't too bright sometimes. :p

So far, this thread isn't turning ugly. When/if it does, I would be curious to see if the posters have teens or even kids (or are they the parents with the reigns so tight that the kids go crazy when they go off to college).

I appreciate your story. I go to bed at 9 p.m. usually and on the cruise I was able to stretch it until about 10:30/11:30 p.m. The teens, naturally, will stay up all night. DH would stay up until about 1 am, but after that we were really working off a wing and a prayer.

My eldest was so tried he was acting like a jerk one afternoon, so I marched him to his room and made him lie down and the steward came by to refresh ice and he was so shocked to see me in there. I guess he never sees parents in the kids' room. I had decided to stay in the room and lie down myself so that my eldest could have forced nap time. :)

I'm glad it wasn't any worse for you! And I'm glad they behaved the rest of the cruise.

Your kids are alcoholic little heathens and you should be ashamed for allowing them that freedom. What if their cigarette had caught the cabin on FIRE? Totally disrespectful to those around you.

Just kidding of course. You did good. Good for you for stepping up to the plate and acknowledging your kids are KIDS. They're not perfect and sometimes have to face the consequences.

You're also very brave. I'm sure the serious flamers will be along eventually.

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Thanks to all who are supportive. I know I am asking to get flamed by telling this. However, I don't care about the flamers. I really don't. I don't know them, they don't know me. I have just seen a whole lot of threads about how much freedom to give teens. I have no issue sharing what "could" happen. My little Knights in Shining Armour also carried a completely sloshed 15 year old girl to her cabin the last night to make sure she got there safely. I was personally surprised by the amount of underage drinking going on. I honestly believed it would be impossible, or at least very difficult for kids to get ahold of enough alcohol on a cruise ship to do any damage. Clearly I was mistaken and I wanted other parents to be wise to it too. I cannot be the only one who didn't know how easy it was.

Hi AngAndBoys, this is just the kind of trouble I would have stirred up as a youngster. We boys can find trouble easy and for of some us, it comes easier than others. Don't let it get you down. Keep on cruising!

You are a woman after my own heart for sharing a story (in unflinching detail) from which we mothers and fathers can learn. Is there is a parent of a teenager or former teenager who hasn't learned the hard way that his or her own "darling" is capable of some kind of __________ ( fill in the blank - mischief, stupidity, poor judgement, evil, impulsiveness, etc.)?

My older sons are 17 and 15. They're parent-honoring, church-going, homeschooled Boy Scouts . Perfect angels, right? HA! Let's just say, "What were you thinking?" is a little overused around here.

You get extra credit for the humor. I'm still laughing about

" So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award

OP, I think you did great. That's pretty much how I was when my kids were young. I would let them have a little extra freedom now and then, and if they messed up they paid the price. The mess-ups got to be further and further apart until I could finally trust them a majority of the time.

Somebody had fun ...

Thank you so much for posting your story. We are going on our first cruise next week (on the Breeze :D:):D) with our DDs 16 and 14. I found a 'teen contract' on another thread and adapted it to use for our kids so that they know what behaviour we expect, and the consequences if the rules are broken.

Last night we were reading through it together, and got to the bit about not allowing others in their cabin (they will be next door to us), not being allowed on any other cabin decks than ours, and not being allowed to go in any cabin other than theirs or ours, I had wails of "why? that's unfair, it's our cabin so we can have friends in there if we want to!".

I will read your post to them, as an example of the problems that could happen if you let new 'friends' come to your cabin, and make sure they are aware that any fines/damage will be paid by them, even if it takes them the rest of their lives to pay it back!

I know my kids are lovely, but they are not always the angels I wish them to be, and peer pressure and the exitement of being on holiday sometimes leads to thoughtless behaviour. I think you did a great job of taking responsibility for your kids, whilst letting them know that you disaproved of their behaviour.

Thanks again for your honesty.

Like the others that have posted, thank you for sharing! Kids will be kids, and no matter how much we try to teach right from wrong, it is amazing what can happen with a little peer pressure. I never would have thought kids hanging out in the room would be an issue. Like you, I would have thought "great, they are across the hall I do not have to worry where on the ship they are". You handled the situation well and showed a lot of class by posting here and sharing what went wrong.

Thank you for sharing your story. Not many would have shared this. Everyone s child on these boards is ALWAYS so well behave,cant do any wrong. ha!

Boys will be boys, and little girls too. but the key is get that azz when they get out of line. That is what you did. Trust they have learned the words respect and consequence i doubt if that will be repeat incident.

those that want to judge you and say otherwise can kiss your... lets just say 'grits'.