Awkward Solo Moments

thoie, I've found using the spray sunscreen makes it a little "less" awkward asking someone to catch my back...and if I need to leave my chair I just let someone nearby know I will be right back..and leave my stuff except for my wallet ...

I just keep old t-shirts and wear those over my swimsuit if I'm going to be in the sun.

I've had others put sunscreen on my back for me but they didn't go "all the way to the edges" and I ended up with strips of burn anyway. :rolleyes: So an old t-shirt thrown on top covers anything that I can't easily cover myself, and I don't end up with any nasty surprises!

My experience cruising solo seems to be a little different from everyone else. I took a 3 day Bahamas cruise in late December - it was my first cruise - and of course first solo cruise. I had quite a few awkward moments. First, I felt it was awkward boarding the ship, and they take your picture -obviously to try to sell you a copy later. I immediately recognized that I was the only solo cruiser, since everyone else was families or couples. Departure was awkward...everyone was with their partners or families in a party mood, and I was alone. Dinner the first night was when it came to a head. Table for six, but only one couple who was Italian and very much in love showed up. No one to talk to, and the servers kept asking when the rest of my party was going to show up. Again, the photographer came around taking pictures of the groups, and then when he came to me, I was depressed by this time, and declined. Went to the solo/singles meetups but no one else showed, and so the first night, I wanted off of that ship so bad.

 

I will say it got better over the next 2 days. I guess I just accepted that I was alone, but I struggled to find people to talk to. The hot tub on the last day was where I finally found people to talk to, and was invited to eat dinner with some folks I met there.

 

I guess being satisfied with cruising solo has to do with your expectations and whether you enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy being alone, although I'm accustomed to it, and had an expectation of quickly making friends, so for me it was awkward and disappointing.

 

The good news, even with my disappointment, I haven't ruled out cruising again. Too many places I want to go, and cruising seems to be the most economical.

Your first days experience on your cruise sounds a lot like my first day on my first cruise. I didn't know about CC then but had found another board a few days before I cruised, it wasn't much help. I didn't really know what to expect and was one of only two solo cruisers on the ship. Heck, I was so new to cruising (and obviously didn't do much research) that I didn't know there was a big sail away party, LOL! But I had expected that most of the other passengers would be families/couples/groups traveling together and had traveled solo for decades. What surprised me the most on that cruise was the reluctance of some to engage in basic polite conversation when sharing a table (it was on NCL and Free Style dining had just started), the hot tub, etc. Even though I enjoy my own company and had traveled for decades solo, it was jarring that people could be so openly rude.

But like your experience, as the cruise progressed I began meeting people who were nice and fun. Some invited me to join them for dinner, other times I invited people to join me. Joining the Roll Call tends to be a good way to start the cruise off with "friends" b/c most of them have a get together on the first day so you are meeting people you have been chatting with right away. Also, longer cruises allow you to relax and see the same people again and again so there is more opportunity to socialize with those you like.

What I've come to realize is the first day of a cruise is very exciting and people get wrapped up in the experience and sharing it with those they came with but as the cruise progresses they tend to socialize more with the other passengers, including solos. This happens on shore excursions as well. I will get in the line and people are chatting among themselves, some giving me a curious look, but about half-way through (sometimes sooner) people start chatting me up.

Solo travel/cruising isn't for everyone but if you are comfortable traveling solo and patient you will meet many nice/fun people cruising.

That isn't to say there won't be awkward moments, like the time I was seated with a group of women traveling together in the MDR and only one of them would speak to me, but overall those moments measured against the great time I have cruising are easily ignored or forgotten.

I hope you give cruising another try but if not there are agencies that arrange travel for solos you might find enjoyable.

To get sunblock on your back--use spray.

I once was on time to dinner and sat alone at a 10 top for abouot 7 minutes. Very uncomfortable. Never did that again! On my last cruise I pretend booked my 2 adult kids to get the cabin I wanted. At dinner I was at a table with 5 adults in a family. 2 seats were empty--it didn'[t dawn on me until later those seats were for my pretend kids. One couple in the family practically made out the whole time. Changed tables after that.

I find most people friendly enough but not all the time. I went to the spa's spa and was alone. A bit later an old man and his wife showed up and never so much as gave me any eye contact.

Usually if you ask someone where they're from it opens a conversation easily. Last cruise I went on an excursion one of our roll call members put together. When we were on the excursion I asked here where she lived. It was a town very near me. I told her where I lived and she said she used to live there. Ends up only a street away from me in a secluded community! My kids knew her kids! Small world.

To get sunblock on your back--use spray.

 

I once was on time to dinner and sat alone at a 10 top for abouot 7 minutes. Very uncomfortable. Never did that again! On my last cruise I pretend booked my 2 adult kids to get the cabin I wanted. At dinner I was at a table with 5 adults in a family. 2 seats were empty--it didn'[t dawn on me until later those seats were for my pretend kids. One couple in the family practically made out the whole time. Changed tables after that.

 

I find most people friendly enough but not all the time. I went to the spa's spa and was alone. A bit later an old man and his wife showed up and never so much as gave me any eye contact.

 

Usually if you ask someone where they're from it opens a conversation easily. Last cruise I went on an excursion one of our roll call members put together. When we were on the excursion I asked here where she lived. It was a town very near me. I told her where I lived and she said she used to live there. Ends up only a street away from me in a secluded community! My kids knew her kids! Small world.

LOL, I love you had pretend kids and then wondered why there were two empty seats! :D:D I have to ask did you have to pay more for the pretend kids or were you allowed to cancel their "tickets".

My experience cruising solo seems to be a little different from everyone else. I took a 3 day Bahamas cruise in late December - it was my first cruise - and of course first solo cruise. I had quite a few awkward moments. First, I felt it was awkward boarding the ship, and they take your picture -obviously to try to sell you a copy later. I immediately recognized that I was the only solo cruiser, since everyone else was families or couples. Departure was awkward...everyone was with their partners or families in a party mood, and I was alone. Dinner the first night was when it came to a head. Table for six, but only one couple who was Italian and very much in love showed up. No one to talk to, and the servers kept asking when the rest of my party was going to show up. Again, the photographer came around taking pictures of the groups, and then when he came to me, I was depressed by this time, and declined. Went to the solo/singles meetups but no one else showed, and so the first night, I wanted off of that ship so bad.

 

I will say it got better over the next 2 days. I guess I just accepted that I was alone, but I struggled to find people to talk to. The hot tub on the last day was where I finally found people to talk to, and was invited to eat dinner with some folks I met there.

 

I guess being satisfied with cruising solo has to do with your expectations and whether you enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy being alone, although I'm accustomed to it, and had an expectation of quickly making friends, so for me it was awkward and disappointing.

 

The good news, even with my disappointment, I haven't ruled out cruising again. Too many places I want to go, and cruising seems to be the most economical.

Deneetro, had you joined up with your RollCall before the cruise? As one who nearly always sails solo, and generally prefers it, I have met some great people through the Roll Calls. That gives me the option to do things with a group, or own my own.

It really is also an issue of mind over matter. Sounds as if you talked yourself into feeling depressed and lonely. It may be easy to do that, but it's nearly as easy to make plans for having a good time meeting new people. I know...because I did that "lonely and blue" thing on one trip years and years ago, and made up my mind I would never again waste my vacation that way.

Try again!:)

I have been cruising with my son who is now 19 and most of the time I feel like I am alone.. lol..I'm lucky if he meets me for dinner :) I have gotten used to sitting at the champage or Martini bar alone. Very rarely do I meet another single cruiser like me... I always wonder.. Could I be the only single person on this cruise.. lol.. well hopefully my next one will be different.. June 30.. Alllure... Ciao for now.. Delia

LOL, I love you had pretend kids and then wondered why there were two empty seats! :D:D I have to ask did you have to pay more for the pretend kids or were you allowed to cancel their "tickets".

They cancelled and I got the $ back. Had to wait a week for it to be credited to card.

I ask the Maitre d' how many singles are on board. Once there were only 6 of us!

It really is also an issue of mind over matter. Sounds as if you talked yourself into feeling depressed and lonely. ...because I did that "lonely and blue" thing on one trip years and years ago, and made up my mind I would never again waste my vacation that way.

Agree completely with the mind over matter. You definitely have to be comfortable in your own skin. :) I usually always carry a paperback with me. Don't have a problem pulling it out and having a drink at the bars. And if I have to run to the washroom, easy thing to ask the bartender to watch my stuff.

I've also had some folks try to encourage me to join them at times. Sometimes I do, but a lot of the time, I cruised solo for a reason and want to stay alone. :D

This sounds familiar... I posted on Facebook as well, and ended up with three joiners by the end of the first day!

 

We have two cabins for four women from all corners of the continent, three of whom have never cruised before. I hope they enjoy it as much as I do, because I ADORE cruising.

 

Just work out some Ground Rules before you leave, setting boundaries, etc., and have a blast!

I am travelling solo, but with an roommate arranged by the TA. What kind of groundrules and boundaries work for you. This will be my first cruise travelling on my own.

Deneetro, had you joined up with your RollCall before the cruise?

This particular cruise did not have a roll call meeting that I was aware of. I checked the thread, but there was not meetup, and it was not a very active thread.

As one who nearly always sails solo, and generally prefers it, I have met some great people through the Roll Calls. That gives me the option to do things with a group, or own my own. It really is also an issue of mind over matter. Sounds as if you talked yourself into feeling depressed and lonely. It may be easy to do that, but it's nearly as easy to make plans for having a good time meeting new people.

!:)

I think the key is, you "prefer" to sail solo. I would "prefer" to go with someone, but that was not an option for me. I had plans of having a good time and meeting new people, meeting other singles/solos etc., but unfortunately, it didn't happen, so the loneliness and depression did creep in, because my expectations/plans were not met.

I am travelling solo, but with an roommate arranged by the TA

I hope that works out for you. I personally would be very hesitant about that. Not just for compatibility - is this person a partier - coming in late drunk and waking you up, etc. And a big one for me - can you trust them? I would be afraid to leave my things alone in the cabin with a stranger. But that's just me.

Good luck! :)

I hope that works out for you. I personally would be very hesitant about that. Not just for compatibility - is this person a partier - coming in late drunk and waking you up, etc. And a big one for me - can you trust them? I would be afraid to leave my things alone in the cabin with a stranger. But that's just me.

 

Good luck! :)

Worse than that, you could end up with someone like me that snores really loud and has gas issues....:o

As a married woman with two toddlers I happened upon this thread, and I just have to say... what I wouldn't kill for one minute solo by the pool! Or at a restaurant! Or in the bathroom!

I just finished my third solo trip and I think the pool and lido are were I feel the most comfortable because I know even when I travel with my family we are usually all doing different things during the day. (They worship the sun, and I am paste-y and love reading in the shade) and I find many people are like that.

I agree with the other cruiser who said the first 10 minutes at that first nights set seating can be hard. This time I did bring my cellphone (with my kindle app loaded) because i was convinced nobody was going to show up.

I might be lucky, but my first solo was the epic in a studio so I had others to eat with, the second was the RC Adventure and I had asked to be seated with others solos around my age -- i was with people around my age, but a couple and 3 on a "girls trip" and they were all super nice and I just got back from carnival and was sat with great people as well.

I think the other thing I dislike is the "oh, you are by yourself, you are so brave" from the people who ask who you are traveling in a patronizing way. Some people truly mean it and I don't mind but there are others who just know are saying it in a "poor soul" kind of way :)

I am travelling solo, but with an roommate arranged by the TA. What kind of groundrules and boundaries work for you. This will be my first cruise travelling on my own.

Think about living in a dorm room with a stranger in college....

What hours are "quiet hours"? If one is an early bird and one is a night owl, how will you respect the other person's needs for sleep, etc.? Along those same lines, when is "lights out" time?

What about having guests in the room?

How much time (and when) per person in the bathroom? If you're both planning on primping for formal night from 7-8pm, that could be a problem, so work out those details, maybe even post a sign-up sheet so there are no misunderstandings.

Don't touch the other person's belongings without permission (and don't leave your stuff in the other person's way so they need to be moved).

Set a signal for "Shhhh... napping inside" (ribbon on doorknob or similar) so one doesn't barge in noisily and turn on the lights while the other was getting some shut-eye.

If you snore, bring some of the silly-putty type earplugs (most comfortable, and quite cheap) for your roomie. If snoring bothers you, bring some earplugs for yourself.

Fair division of storage space (closets, drawers, bathroom countertop, desk). Also, fair division of electrical plugs (I recommend bringing a short power strip).

I just finished my first solo cruise - a 2 week cruise to Southeast Asia. I had a fantastic time!

I never really felt awkward or had any awkward moments, but I am very comfortable being alone and oftentimes prefer being alone over spending time with others, especially strangers.

That said, I met lots of really nice people during dinner - I had anytime dining, and I always said I would be willing to share a table, so every night there were new people to meet. The downside to meeting new people every day is having to tell your "bio" anew. That got a bit tiring, but I just tried to remember that it may have been my 20th time telling, it was the other person's 1st time hearing it.

I pre-arranged private/independent tours via our Cruise Critic roll call forum, and met everyone at our meet and greet on our first sea day, so by the end of the cruise, I had made a lot of new friends. Not only did we share tours together, but we often met for drinks on board, or connected up to go to see the shows together, etc.

I would highly recommend solo traveling to anyone who is at least somewhat comfortable being alone. In my mind, there's way more pros to solo travel than cons.

--sherita

I did my first solo cruise last year on a 3-day Bahamas run. I really wanted to get away and catch up on some R&R, read a book, lay in the sun, etc. These are things I don't get to do too often being a single working parent of a toddler! I got a little uncomfortable waiting in the line to board the ship being around families, etc. I declined the embarkation photo and all other photos because I knew I would never buy a picture of just myself. I did anytime dining and had an awkward moment at dinner. They seated me at a 10 top table and I was sitting next to a couple where the woman did not speak English. A solo man sat next to me who spoke very little English and then 6 friends were seated. Everyone assumed the solo man and I were a couple and it was very awkward. I decided to eat at the buffet after that which I was fine with. I would not hesitate to sail solo again as I really relish the alone time, but I would choose to ask to be seated with a table of singles or a table by myself.

I did my first solo cruise last year on a 3-day Bahamas run. I really wanted to get away and catch up on some R&R, read a book, lay in the sun, etc. These are things I don't get to do too often being a single working parent of a toddler! I got a little uncomfortable waiting in the line to board the ship being around families, etc. I declined the embarkation photo and all other photos because I knew I would never buy a picture of just myself. I did anytime dining and had an awkward moment at dinner. They seated me at a 10 top table and I was sitting next to a couple where the woman did not speak English. A solo man sat next to me who spoke very little English and then 6 friends were seated. Everyone assumed the solo man and I were a couple and it was very awkward. I decided to eat at the buffet after that which I was fine with. I would not hesitate to sail solo again as I really relish the alone time, but I would choose to ask to be seated with a table of singles or a table by myself.

Your experience is exactly why I request a table for myself...

I've done 14 solo cruises and never felt awkward but then I'm well used to travelling extensively on land on my own. I just don't feel self conscious ever about being solo. I've only cruised on Italian ships, so frequently English speakers are in the minority. I don't have any expectations of engaging with others, so if they want to ignore me that's fine, I won't move but will read or do a sudoku puzzle. If they are open to engaging also fine and I'll happily converse or attempt to converse depending on whether we have any common languages to do so. I always ask to be seated at a large table and fortunately never had a n issue. I've been satbsoley with solos, a mixture of solos or couples and it's always worked well. I almost never do excursions but not because I worry about being on my own, but the reverse - I prefer to do ports on my own.

For those that mentioned the issue of getting sunscreen on your back, other than sprays there is an alternative (which I discovered on here a few years ago). You can actually buy sunscreen applicators. Basically long handled contraption made of wood or plastic, with removable sponge applicator to apply the sun screen to those bits you just can't reach.

The only downsides I've found to travelling solo are

1. If you need to go to the bathroom before you've been able to check in luggage, you have to try to drag it all in to the cubicle with you or risk starting a security scare for unattended baggage!

2. Keeping your sunbed when you want to wander off for a bit to the bar or pool or whatever. Used to be easy, just used to leave my towel and paperback but now that I've moved to a kindle, not going to leave that.

3. At the buffet, how do you retain your seat if you need to go for something else? Staff usually clear away glasses and plates within minutes of you moving away, so most times you return to find new people in your seat. It's fine if there are people at your table with a common language, then you can ask them to let the waiters or other passengers know you're coming back.

I truly believe that feeling awkward comes from within. Yes some other people can be rude or inconsiderate but you still get to choose whether you allow them to make you feel awkward or not. I truly believe that we are not nearly as conspicuous to others as some of us solos feel we are. Being confident and comfortable in your own skin is key as well as being prepared to entertain yourself if necessary.

Think about living in a dorm room with a stranger in college....

 

 

It has been a while since college ...thanks for the good advice.

 

The only downsides I've found to travelling solo are

 

3. At the buffet, how do you retain your seat if you need to go for something else? Staff usually clear away glasses and plates within minutes of you moving away, so most times you return to find new people in your seat. It's fine if there are people at your table with a common language, then you can ask them to let the waiters or other passengers know you're coming back.

 

When I go to buffets alone and go to get seconds ....I always lean my chair forward up against the table on the front two legs. That seems to be the universal signal that the seat is occupied.

When I go to buffets alone and go to get seconds ....I always lean my chair forward up against the table on the front two legs. That seems to be the universal signal that the seat is occupied.

But how do you lean the whole Booth???? :rolleyes:

This is a really great thread. I'm thinking of doing my first solo cruise in October. To be honest I'm mostly concerned about the meals and feeling weird but whataver. I'll just bring a book and make the best of it!