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Crazy cruise critic parents?


Cruisegirl1919
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My kid will not be hanging out with other kids who come in between 3 and 6 am. Call me a helicopter mama, I call it smart.

 

My kid, my rules. I know what my child can handle so while to a perfect stranger it may appear I'm being harsh, you have no idea what the other 51 weeks a year entail. I have no problem with my rules. They don't affect you (the collective "you", not the OP), so I have no issues imposing them.

 

I'm with you on this topic. I have 2 boys, but I watch them like a hawk. It only takes one time for something to happen anywhere. On a cruise, there is no cell service so there's really no way to get in contact with a child if they're on their own. If I had a daughter she wouldn't have a curfew of 1am on a cruise ship. What teenage activity is available for teens around that time? None!! Anybody can get on here and say how responsible they are, but actions speak louder than words. My job is to keep my kids safe no matter what. I helped make them so it's my responsibility as a parent to keep them safe. I may trust my kids, but the thousands of other passengers on board I know nothing about and don't trust. As parents we have to keep our kids safe.

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I am a seventeen year old girl who has been blessed enough to have gone on several cruises with my family, including three in the circle c or young teen group and two in the club o2 or older teen group. Recently, in anticipation of my next cruise coming up this summer, I have been reading a lot of forums on here, especially those that pertain to teenagers, and I am dumbfounded by some of the posts, especially since they seem to be such a stark contrast to what I've seen on my trips. First off, I believe my parents have set pretty fair rules for me, even though I've had my fair share of complaints. My boundaries haven't really changed from age 12 to now: no hanging out in other people's rooms or bringing friends to hang in ours (although my parents are fine with me running in with a friend to get something or if one of us girls need to change clothes, etc.), be courteous, attend all shore activities with my parents, go to dinner with them, and come back to the room when the teen activities end at 1 a.m. (Which has been the only rule I've ever had an issue with, as I've rarely ever come across any other kid with a curfew at all on my cruises. My last one was the first time, and the girl was in a separate room from her parents, so she would come back before her parents checked on her and then just leave again. Most of the kids stayed out until anywhere from 3 until 6 depending on the night, which I do believe is a bit insane.) Other than that, I was free to do what I wanted, and I believe my parents created a fair balance.

However, reading these forums, I've come across a lot of parents who seem to be way overprotective of their teens, forcing them to come back at ten o'clock, not allowing them to walk anywhere by themselves, checking on everywhere they go, and "grounding" them if they're not exactly where they said they would be. I could maybe see some of these being acceptable for a twelve or thirteen year old, but not the older teens. I've even read of parents giving eighteen and nineteen year olds curfews! They're adults, for crying out loud. Many parents also make the excuse that their teens have to be in early so that they aren't grouchy on a shore excursion. Most teens get themselves up for school in the morning, running on little sleep due to crazy schedules, homework, and general teenager-ness. They still manage to make it through the day, and the energy of a cruise and all the cool things they'll be doing in port should be enough to keep them from turning into a grump. And if they are exhausted and don't enjoy themselves, they'll learn their lesson and choose to come in earlier on their own.

I understand that there are dangers lurking everywhere, and parents need to look out for their children's safety, but sheltering them and hovering over them, especially on vacation, is not going to do them any good, especially when they soon have to venture out into the real world and don't have mommy or daddy to watch over them everywhere they go, and those teens who are so overprotected (the ones who don't rebel anyways) are more likely to be naive and find themselves in danger because they don't have the necessary street smarts. A cruise is a good place to start developing these skills, because although there are creeps and threats on a ship sometimes as well, it is a much smaller atmosphere for them to start making decisions on their own than a big city or a major college campus, where they'll be in a few years.

So all you tiger moms and dads out there, loosen the reins a bit. Let your kids live a little. They're on vacation. Trust that you've raised them well and that they will make good decisions.

 

With all due respect I wouldn't call the parents crazy that seem to care about their child's safety. So many kids turn up missing all the time and they're trying to make sure their kid isn't next. I was a teen once and I thought like a teen which you are doing now. As I matured and my wife and I had our kids my mentally changed. I'm a father, husband, role model and my kids protector! Crazy? Maybe a little if someone messes with my kids or my wife.

 

My advice for you is to be safe on the cruises and don't trust anyone. Stay close to your family. They are truly the only people you can trust on a cruise.

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[quote name=poet123;38

 

Ships are a microcosm of society. I would not be happy with my young teen being out alone in the area we live in after a set time' date=' so why would that differ on a ship?

 

I agree with the poster who said that when you pay the piper you call the tune.[/quote]

 

messed up that quote sorry. I agree with this part of your statement. My daughter will not be walking home by herself in my home town at 1:00 in the morning, nor will she be doing so on a cruise ship.i attended college 2000 miles away from my parents. I was plenty responsible and trustworthy. All of us women were lectured over and over again not to walk across campus by ourselves late at night when there weren't a lot of people around. I didn't. All it takes is ONE person you know being raped and it will change the way you look at things forever.

 

As for 18 or 19 year olds being adults...not if they aren't self sufficient and living on their own. Again....2000 miles from home for college. Summer time between my jr and sr years. I was 21 years old and I wanted to go into town (20 miles away) to see a movie by myself. It ended at about 9:30. The town near our lake house was about 9k people and I regularly worked until close to midnight at my waitressing job...in town. My mom told me she didn't want me to go alone because she would be worried about me. That's just what us moms do. And as a kid living in my parent's home, it was my job to do what my parents asked of me. I admit to rolling my eyes, though.:D

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Thanks for taking the time to do this and your parents should be proud. Whether or not we agree (not much with my teens sometimes) they have given a voice and thanks for using yours.

 

I was raised with a crazy mother. Look up Madea online and she is a Saint compared to my mom. Now I try to balance out crazy with respect and understanding. There are so many things that trigger you as parent it hard to say sometimes. I give my kids a voice because I was seen and never heard. I am sometimes overprotective because I fear the worse could happen because I don't trust and have enough faith. I sometimes yell and scream because I am scared and reacting to my own fears. Sometimes I turn into my own mama and remind my kids, I took you into this world I can take them out. I know exactly what this meant, so far mine don't. I still can't answer my mama, what!

 

As a parent I try not to put my kids in situation I don't think they can handle. If I can't take my eyes off them then I have put them in a situation they don't belong. They are clear on my expectation and what the consequence would be. I never used childcare until they were able to speak and could tell me if something went wrong. As babies, I didn't trust them with anyone I couldn't trust with a million in small bills so I became a stay at home mom. My son is away at college with my million dollars, trusting all kinds of pretty girls:D. I often got out the car and teach them how to walk down the street and be conscious of their surroundings. Yes, there are perverts out there but there are a few, and fewer with time, who look out of not only their kids but others. I don't fear the random stranger as much as I fear those I TRUST with my kids at school, church, sports ect. I try not to let my own fear cripple them, not always easy.

 

On our last cruise my son (17) did not have a curfew but I was eyeing him like a hawk. I wanted to see how he would do knowing in a few months, before his 18th birthday, we would be moving away from me with my credit card. He did fine (less the pretty girls) and shared things with me I could have done without knowing. I am glad he had the voice, as I am truly glad you used yours. Let's not forget not all parents have kids that are trust worthy and respectful. They need to be watched more to protect the general public and cruising population.

 

Thanks for you post!

 

Ms. Pauline, (don't do first name with teens:)

Edited by Blk_Amish
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I'm with you on this topic. I have 2 boys, but I watch them like a hawk. It only takes one time for something to happen anywhere. On a cruise, there is no cell service so there's really no way to get in contact with a child if they're on their own. If I had a daughter she wouldn't have a curfew of 1am on a cruise ship. What teenage activity is available for teens around that time? None!! Anybody can get on here and say how responsible they are, but actions speak louder than words. My job is to keep my kids safe no matter what. I helped make them so it's my responsibility as a parent to keep them safe. I may trust my kids, but the thousands of other passengers on board I know nothing about and don't trust. As parents we have to keep our kids safe.

 

Do you send them to church, school, sports, friend or relatives homes. In my school district last year, 3 teacher were arrested for having 'relations' with teenage boys. There were 2 teen suicide, online bullying was suspected in one case. I have a teenage son and his senior year in high school was an eye opening of how edgy and devious teenage girls can be. I try to explain to him, one accusation can rock his world but I am not the pretty girl smiling at him. Think about it, hormonal teens hanging out for hours. Also, do you really trust the worker in the childcare some from cultures who may not share your values. The abuse of women and children is accepted or condoned. If they did something wrong, it would not be reported and therefore not show up in a background check. How do you keep your kids safe, no matter what, from everyday life and living outside of praying and having faith some days. Sad thing is , the same kid who can't be out at 1 am at 17, will be on his own, at some of the known party colleges, before the 18th birthday. At home my son had an 11 pm curfew but he texts me at 2 am from his dorm.. Why is my child awake at 2 am, and I hope it's his dorm, HIS own? Do I trust him, depends!

 

I apologize for religious reference.

 

Pauline

Edited by Blk_Amish
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Do you send them to church, school, sports, friend or relatives homes. In my school district last year, 3 teacher were arrested for having 'relations' with teenage boys. There were 2 teen suicide, online bullying was suspected in one case. I have a teenage son and his senior year in high school was an eye opening of how edgy and devious teenage girls can be. I try to explain to him, one accusation can rock his world but I am not the pretty girl smiling at him. Think about it, hormonal teens hanging out for hours. Also, do you really trust the worker in the childcare some from cultures who may not share your values. The abuse of women and children is accepted or condoned. If they did something wrong, it would not be reported and therefore not show up in a background check. How do you keep your kids safe, no matter what, from everyday life and living outside of praying and having faith some days. Sad thing is , the same kid who can't be out at 1 am at 17, will be on his own, at some of the known party colleges, before the 18th birthday. At home my son had an 11 pm curfew but he texts me at 2 am from his dorm.. Why is my child awake at 2 am, and I hope it's his dorm, HIS own? Do I trust him, depends!

 

I apologize for religious reference.

 

Pauline

 

My kids are young and one is in preschool and the other isn't old enough for school. You keep your kids safe by watching them while they're on cruise lines, home or wherever. When I said i will keep my kids safe I meant it. That's the job I signed up for. Even when they get 18 and married, I will still do everything in my power to keep them safe.

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My kids are young and one is in preschool and the other isn't old enough for school. You keep your kids safe by watching them while they're on cruise lines, home or wherever. When I said i will keep my kids safe I meant it. That's the job I signed up for. Even when they get 18 and married, I will still do everything in my power to keep them safe.

 

You signed on to keep them safe, but also to prepare them for the world. You only get about 18 years, and they go by very quickly. Our job as parents is not to raise children, but to raise adults. You do your children a disservice if you don't allow them more independence. Sending a timid, nervous, unprepared kid off to college is not doing him or her any favors.

 

I have three teens. My 15 and 17 year olds were fine on the ship without constant adult supervision. I was the mean mom, and made them come back to the cabin at 1 am - most other teens were still out. At home, they can go to the beach with friends, take the train into NYC, go out to eat, shop, movies, sporting events - dd17 even took the bus to Boston, alone, to visit her boyfriend (she has also flown alone many times). Next year, she will be away at college.

 

And the thought of any of my kids being 18 and married?! That would be one of my worst nightmares!

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You signed on to keep them safe, but also to prepare them for the world. You only get about 18 years, and they go by very quickly. Our job as parents is not to raise children, but to raise adults. You do your children a disservice if you don't allow them more independence. Sending a timid, nervous, unprepared kid off to college is not doing him or her any favors.

 

I have three teens. My 15 and 17 year olds were fine on the ship without constant adult supervision. I was the mean mom, and made them come back to the cabin at 1 am - most other teens were still out. At home, they can go to the beach with friends, take the train into NYC, go out to eat, shop, movies, sporting events - dd17 even took the bus to Boston, alone, to visit her boyfriend (she has also flown alone many times). Next year, she will be away at college.

 

And the thought of any of my kids being 18 and married?! That would be one of my worst nightmares!

 

I agree. As a parent there is only so much we do to keep them safe. My kids are now 16 and 19. We need to encourage them to make good decisions as they grow up and point out the results of others or their own bad decisions. We need to show them that their actions have consequences by setting rules and punishments for breaking those rules and following through. We need to impress on them what unacceptable behavior is from others and encourage them to have open communication with us if they experience it. We need to make them aware of the dangers that are out in the real world so they can be alert to them. We need to give them added responsibilities and choices as they grow older to prove that they can make those good decisions when they leave. Sometimes it is extremely hard to let them go....but it is so much better than sufficating them with overprotection and then letting them go without a clue how to handle themselves in these situations when they become adults.

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You signed on to keep them safe, but also to prepare them for the world. You only get about 18 years, and they go by very quickly. Our job as parents is not to raise children, but to raise adults. You do your children a disservice if you don't allow them more independence. Sending a timid, nervous, unprepared kid off to college is not doing him or her any favors.

 

I have three teens. My 15 and 17 year olds were fine on the ship without constant adult supervision. I was the mean mom, and made them come back to the cabin at 1 am - most other teens were still out. At home, they can go to the beach with friends, take the train into NYC, go out to eat, shop, movies, sporting events - dd17 even took the bus to Boston, alone, to visit her boyfriend (she has also flown alone many times). Next year, she will be away at college.

 

And the thought of any of my kids being 18 and married?! That would be one of my worst nightmares!

 

+10

 

 

I was unnerved by 18 and married. I would say, 16 and pregnant, 16 and homeless but my DD replies, I guess 15 and 17 are safe but 18 I am SOL. Oh 21 means doing what you have done since 15 but legally:eek:. Moments like this I realize, not as mean as I need to be, time to get my Madea on:D

 

I can see based on some of the replies why a teen would think some parents are crazy, less the ones who know they are. We are saying to these kids hang out all day with other hormonal teens, with no fear of bullying or peer pressure. They will drive when they get home, so no need to walk anyways. They move away to college, with mama's credit card and vacation funds. However all other times I need to have my eyes on you to keep you safe. Afterall, we are their creator and our life to protect. Then we say, they don't understand, rightfully so!

Edited by Blk_Amish
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Dear OP, I would be proud to have you as a daughter! You are taking great steps to becoming an adult.

 

To another poster, we also have the pictures of the teenager scowling! You would think that the trip was an advanced form of torture, invented by the CIA, KGB or Taliban solely to distress them.

 

My kids are 29, 31 and 34 and they were raised to be independent, responsible adults. Since all 3 were in college by 17 or 18, DH and I felt it was time to start loosening the apron strings at 16. (Not untied, just loosened!) One kid would have been wild and crazy even if we had had super strict rules, the other two not so much. When they got to college they were quite surprised how much they knew how to do and it really made them feel good that they were so competent.

 

I also agree that one size rules does not fit all children or all situations! Some are more mature at a younger age, some have more common sense and others.... well, we earn our gray hair from them.

 

My philosophy is it is our job to give our kids wings to fly and a safety net if they fall, not a cage to keep them out of harms way.

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You signed on to keep them safe, but also to prepare them for the world. You only get about 18 years, and they go by very quickly. Our job as parents is not to raise children, but to raise adults. You do your children a disservice if you don't allow them more independence. Sending a timid, nervous, unprepared kid off to college is not doing him or her any favors.

 

I have three teens. My 15 and 17 year olds were fine on the ship without constant adult supervision. I was the mean mom, and made them come back to the cabin at 1 am - most other teens were still out. At home, they can go to the beach with friends, take the train into NYC, go out to eat, shop, movies, sporting events - dd17 even took the bus to Boston, alone, to visit her boyfriend (she has also flown alone many times). Next year, she will be away at college.

 

And the thought of any of my kids being 18 and married?! That would be one of my worst nightmares!

 

I think I do them a disservice by not protecting when I can. My kids will never roam around anywhere by themselves, not in this day and age. I'm a police officer so I live in a different world than most people and I'm more aware of crime than most people. If something were to happen to your kids on a cruise how would they contact you? How could you help them not knowing where they are? Are you aware of the criminals that are on cruise ships? I'm not bashing your parenting, just having a civil conversation. I respect your opinion, but everybody raises their kids differently, if I'm doing a disservice by protecting my kids then so be it.

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Someone sent me this site on Cruise Critic. Internarionalcruisevictims.org

 

Might think twice about leaving your kids on a cruise after you read some of the stories on this website.

 

How does these numbers compare abuse in school district districts, colleges, churches, in homes by family members/friends, driving accidents, cases of bullying leading to attempted or suicide. Unlike years gone by we have information we can share with our kids. Everything after birth can put our children at risk, which is why some choose not to cut the umbilical cord. Yet said protective cord can also wrap around the child's neck and strangle them. No reported case in 2013, can't say the same about my school district. Yes I should pull my kids because one teacher had 'reations' with a 16 years old because he looked like Taylor Lautner:eek:. Ok it's Jake!

 

The things that put our kids at greatest risk are closet to us and them, those we trust. How many still send their child to Mass after seeing some org/news reported on priest?

Edited by Blk_Amish
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How does these numbers compare abuse in school district districts, colleges, churches, in homes by family members/friends, driving accidents, cases of bullying leading to attempted or suicide. Unlike years gone by we have information we can share with our kids. Everything after birth can put our children at risk, which is why some choose not to cut the umbilical cord. Yet said protective cord can also wrap around the child's neck and strangle them. No reported case in 2013, can't say the same about my school district. Yes I should pull my kids because one teacher had 'reations' with a 16 years old because he looked like Taylor Lautner:eek:. Ok it's Jake!

 

The things that put our kids at greatest risk are closet to us and them, those we trust. How many still send their child to Mass after seeing some org/news reported on priest?

 

This is CRUISE critic not SCHOOL district critic or LIFE critic. No need to put up stats on anything else other than cruises.

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This is CRUISE critic not SCHOOL district critic or LIFE critic. No need to put up stats on anything else other than cruises.

 

I think her point is that cruises poise much less danger to children than everyday life. Bad things happen everywhere, but there really is no need to be more cautious on a cruise ship.

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I think I do them a disservice by not protecting when I can. My kids will never roam around anywhere by themselves, not in this day and age. I'm a police officer so I live in a different world than most people and I'm more aware of crime than most people. If something were to happen to your kids on a cruise how would they contact you? How could you help them not knowing where they are? Are you aware of the criminals that are on cruise ships? I'm not bashing your parenting, just having a civil conversation. I respect your opinion, but everybody raises their kids differently, if I'm doing a disservice by protecting my kids then so be it.

 

No disrespect, but it is almost impossible to determine how you are going to parent your teens, when they are still very little - your teens are complete strangers to you, at this point. This day and age is statistically safer than when we were kids. I'm aware of crime - I live very close to major cities. The thing is, if my kids don't learn street smarts, how to trust their instincts to stay safe, they are dead out of the water when they leave home for good. Next year, my beautiful blonde 17 year old daughter will be walking alone on a college campus. She will probably encounter some seedy situations, and I hope to God she has learned enough to handle them on her own.

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No disrespect, but it is almost impossible to determine how you are going to parent your teens, when they are still very little - your teens are complete strangers to you, at this point. This day and age is statistically safer than when we were kids. I'm aware of crime - I live very close to major cities. The thing is, if my kids don't learn street smarts, how to trust their instincts to stay safe, they are dead out of the water when they leave home for good. Next year, my beautiful blonde 17 year old daughter will be walking alone on a college campus. She will probably encounter some seedy situations, and I hope to God she has learned enough to handle them on her own.

 

Like I said if there was a blueprint on how to raise the perfect child everyone would use it.

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Parenting is a balancing act - teaching the skills your child will need as they transition to adulthood while keeping them safe.

 

Placing your child into a perfect bubble world where no one but you can have contact with him, where no harm can come to him, may keep your child "safe" but it will also stunt his emotional and intellectual growth.

 

We all know this. Knowing it is a balancing act is easy -- practicing this balance is what is hard. And what worked for me, for my kid; may not work for you or for your kid.

 

The important part is that we are actively thinking about this. Rather than digging in your heels, open yourself up to what others have said on this thread and take a good long look at your parenting styles and rules and at your kid(s) and honestly decide whether your style and your kids' needs are in synch.

Edited by Onessa
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Like I said if there was a blueprint on how to raise the perfect child everyone would use it.

 

If such a blueprint existed some parent would not use it. We are not trying to raise the perfect child but functioning adults. It starts the moment we allow them to take their first step. We watch as they gain balance and if they fall we stand back with anticipation to see if they try to stand again, and cheer in pride when they do. If they don't we take their hand, dry their tears, and know tomorrow is another day to try again.

 

The information out is scary but it unlike the good old days, many think were safer, we can use it as a tool for safety. A means for kids to keep themselves safe so we don't have to watch like a hawk. Yes, we keep and eye on them because they also shine when we least expect. Now discuss topics with our kids that were kept secret not only in public but our own families.

Edited by Blk_Amish
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If such a blueprint existed some parent would not use it. We are not trying to raise the perfect child but functioning adults. It starts the moment we allow them to take their first step. We watch as they gain balance and if they fall we stand back with anticipation to see if they try to stand again, and cheer in pride when they do. If they don't we take their hand, dry their tears, and know tomorrow is another day to try again.

 

The information out is scary but it unlike the good old days, many think were safer, we can use it as a tool for safety. A means for kids to keep themselves safe so we don't have to watch like a hawk. Yes, we keep and eye on them because they also shine when we least expect. Now discuss topics with our kids that were kept secret not only in public but our own families.

 

I was exaggerating!

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Parenting is a balancing act - teaching the skills your child will need as they transition to adulthood while keeping them safe.

 

Placing your child into a perfect bubble world where no one but you can have contact with him, where no harm can come to him, may keep your child "safe" but it will also stunt his emotional and intellectual growth.

 

We all know this. Knowing it is a balancing act is easy -- practicing this balance is what is hard. And what worked for me, for my kid; may not work for you or for your kid.

 

The important part is that we are actively thinking about this. Rather than digging in your heels, open yourself up to what others have said on this thread and take a good long look at your parenting styles and rules and at your kid(s) and honestly decide whether your style and your kids' needs are in synch.

 

The name of this thread is crazy cruise parents! If you choose to let your kid roam free on a cruise ship that's your choice and if I choose not to do its my choice. That's the beauty of living in America. We all have choices.

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