Posted March 1st, 2012, 09:12 AM
I have a feeling people are going to be sympathetic to XBF now.
Not necessarily. He's old enough to know better. He was aware of the date when it was made and he stated to her that "it was not going to be a problem". Between then & now, either something happened to make him want to end the relationship, OR
he wanted to leave all along - but never "manned - up". Now he feels that he needs to make it her fault and say its about his sons B-day and she's not being fair. IMHO, this clearly indicates a serious character flaw in him and even though it cost her some $$, its priceless - what she saved from a possible multi year/decades relationship and emotional commitment with a person that was never really "on board" with her anyways.
Just about every relationship that fails, does so because the offender lacks that strength or ability to be completely honest. Whether its a drug problem that they wont get help for, fallen out of love and find someone new on the side, sticky relationships with partners that have ties & obligations to children from past relationships or just simple immaturity.
Personally? I married my wife - knowing she had 2 young kids (3+5 at the time) from a guy that went to work one day......and NEVER came home. (WHO does that?!!) He "disappeared" for over 3 years, no calls, no notes, private investigator couldnt find him. She ended up having him declared legally dead. I was so impressed with her determination and work ethic, that I was determined to have her get married. (even if it took slipping her some Ketamine!...Kidding!!)
We are married 17 years this past Thursday. Guess who shows up on my doorstep about 8 years ago? Yep....her ex. I had no idea who he was until she walked past the door, seen who it was and pushed me aside as she jumped on him and started beating him senseless! Now my wife is so mild that she's been known to take animals that have been hit by cars and nurse them back to health, to see her beating the crap out of this guy, while he's trying to get away - was priceless!! Cops came, they said he didnt exist - had ID matched someone who was "dead"! Hoo-boy, he went off on a rant about how he has been fighting to prove he's alive, every time he got his license renewed, voted, got a credit card, background check for jobs....
Anyways, enough of my rant. You will do well to learn what you can from this relationship, good & bad - then move on. Is it easy? Not at all....and that indicates how committed YOU were to the relationship. Personally? I would have brought his son. 3rd passenger in a cabin is crazy-cheap. BUT....I really feel that he wanted out and just need you to be the bad guy and give him a reason.
Live. Learn. Move on..