A funny thing happened while sharing a cabin with my soon-to-be-ex this weekend

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#1
Ocala, Florida
2,113 Posts
Joined Jul 2010
I booked the 3-night Valentine's cruise on the Allure with my then DH fourteen months ago. Four weeks ago (long after final payment) he told me that he wants to get a divorce and sell the house. That is fine with me, as I have been thinking about the same thing for about two years (we've been married for three). Neither of us would give up the Allure, so we shared the cabin as roommates. Sharing living quarters with somebody you don't like is still better on a cruise ship than at home

On the second afternoon I returned to the cabin to find a voicemail message from a woman. She said, "Hi, Dave, this is J___. I got your message, I am going to dinner with my friends, but would like to meet you for drinks at 8:00 or 8:30." Later that night there was another message, stating that they kept missing each other, she was on her way to the casino, and describing her appearance so he could find her there.

My question: Is there a formal singles "personals" column on the ship? Obviously, from her message, he did not know what she looked like and could not have met her already. I have no problem with him pursuing other women, though I find it extremely tacky to be doing it within a month of announcing his intent to divorce and while we are not only living together, but were sharing a cabin on the cruise

BTW, I wrote out a message for him, "J___ called and wants to meet you for drinks later tonight" and left it in the arms/legs of the towel animal on his bed. It was quite funny to see him read my message, then listen to (and delete) her voicemail messages.
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#2
1,438 Posts
Joined Nov 2009
Originally posted by ZoeyVictoria
I booked the 3-night Valentine's cruise on the Allure with my then DH fourteen months ago. Four weeks ago (long after final payment) he told me that he wants to get a divorce and sell the house. That is fine with me, as I have been thinking about the same thing for about two years (we've been married for three). Neither of us would give up the Allure, so we shared the cabin as roommates. Sharing living quarters with somebody you don't like is still better on a cruise ship than at home

On the second afternoon I returned to the cabin to find a voicemail message from a woman. She said, "Hi, Dave, this is J___. I got your message, I am going to dinner with my friends, but would like to meet you for drinks at 8:00 or 8:30." Later that night there was another message, stating that they kept missing each other, she was on her way to the casino, and describing her appearance so he could find her there.

My question: Is there a formal singles "personals" column on the ship? Obviously, from her message, he did not know what she looked like and could not have met her already. I have no problem with him pursuing other women, though I find it extremely tacky to be doing it within a month of announcing his intent to divorce and while we are not only living together, but were sharing a cabin on the cruise

BTW, I wrote out a message for him, "J___ called and wants to meet you for drinks later tonight" and left it in the arms/legs of the towel animal on his bed. It was quite funny to see him read my message, then listen to (and delete) her voicemail messages.
Is there some sort of point to your story?
#3
Kentucky
238 Posts
Joined Jan 2012
To answer your question--I don't know of any "formal singles personals" specifically aimed at cruisers.

I did want to say I'm sorry about your marriage ending and there's no way I'd share a cabin with a soon-to-be ex, especially if I was still so emotionally vested that I gave a nano second of thought time to whom he was seeing. I find that odd and sad at the same time.

Good luck to you.
#5
Suncoast Florida & Midcoast Maine
1,145 Posts
Joined Jun 2004
Maybe there's a cruise-related website for singles to chat pre-cruise? It was still better to be on the cruise than to miss it though, right? Divorce is just gut-wrenching for everyone, but different people handle it differently and it seems like men tend to jump back into the dating pool more quickly than women.

It will get better though. It took me about 2 1/2 years after my split to feel good again, but it does eventually happen.
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#7
Ocala, Florida
2,113 Posts
Joined Jul 2010
The point of my story is that I would like to know if there is an organized method of meeting other singles on a cruise, perhaps something similar to March.com or old-fashioned personal ads. Maureencruiser, you are probably right about it being more of a "word-of-mouth" thing rather than something that was organized. And, no, I would never share a cabin with him again. We also had the Enchantment booked and I bought out his half and will be going with a female friend. I am very happy to be rid of the insensitive jerk without being the "bad guy" who initiated the divorce. I would have gone to the "singles and solos meet and greet" on the Allure, but I suspected he would be there and there was no reason for the two of us to be in the same place at the same time.
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#8
Jacksonville, FL USA
48,498 Posts
Joined Jan 2003
Talk to Guest Relations on your ship and see if they have anything
for "singles". I am guessing different cruiselines do things differently.

I always sail solo but it does not matter to me if I meet other single
people or not. I cruise for myself and happy to meet all folks, married,
solo, single, whatever...it doesn't matter to me. I never go on a cruise
seeking out "other single people". That is just not in my thought process.
Some of my closest friends are married and I have met them on my
cruises over the years.
#9
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
343 Posts
Joined Jan 2012
Wow, what an insensitive jerk and a disrespectful thing for him to do. Three days and he couldn't just be cordial. I'm really sorry you had to deal with this. Must have been an interesting ride home.
Seriously, best of luck to you
Jen
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Happy cruising
Jen





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#10
CT & FL
485 Posts
Joined Jun 2009
Well, I'm guessing any second thoughts she may have had have evaporated!
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#11
Florida
3,487 Posts
Joined Mar 2005
So tell us about your cruise going semi solo on the beautiful Allure. One day I'll make it to one of those two ships. Sticking to the smaller RC ships for now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk. Please excuse any typographical errors.
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#12
New York City
561 Posts
Joined Aug 2007
Originally posted by ZoeyVictoria
there was no reason for the two of us to be in the same place at the same time.
Did you sleep in shifts?
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