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  #101  
Old July 7th, 2013, 06:12 PM
celle celle is offline
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Pull on flame suite But aren't you parents with the "perfect" kids and/or those with the "perfect" adults that were pulled out of school missing the point? It is all about values and priorities and where you draw the line. Last I checked I think the in the US we have plenty of time for vacation with the kids and family. Of course their are exception where we do have to pull them out, but for a vacation in the name of saving a few bucks, convenience, or crowds I find funny to rationalize for that. Of course we all get something out of fun family vacations..

I always wonder why do people ask, is it because they aren't sure, well trust your heart and values. Of course it feels good to hear others tell about their straight "a' student, their model child that grew up to go to a fine college and become a fine rich adult. The more moral question is about your values..
Hi Chip,
My kids are not perfect. Heavens, there are times when I would have given them away to the first person who wanted them! They're not super-bright either, just diligent.

I feel no need to defend my moral values over my decision to pull our teenagers out of school for a month. My values are fine. One of those values is the value of sticking together as a family. By travelling with my DH for that length of time, we kept our family together - and 5 people sharing one hotel/motel room certainly means "togetherness"!

Another "value" that I had is the belief that educating my children was not just the job of their teachers. It was my job, too, a job whose responsibility I shared with their schools. Learning does not just take place in the classroom, nor is it limited to our school years.

As I said in my earlier post, I would not have pulled my kids out of school for a cruise, unless that cruise took them to places that had some potential for increasing their knowledge of the world, its history and geography.
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  #102  
Old July 7th, 2013, 07:47 PM
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Of course their are exception where we do have to pull them out, but for a vacation in the name of saving a few bucks, convenience, or crowds I find funny to rationalize for that.
It's easy to be blase about "a few bucks". At least, as long as you have lots of spare bucks it's easy. But what if you haven't? What if you have so few bucks (as many families do) that your choice is you buy medical insurance, or you go on a family holiday, but not both - until you discover that you can pull the kids out of school and then you can do both?

Education is important - in fact, vital - in a child's upbringing. But it's not the only thing that's important. Family life is important too.
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  #103  
Old July 8th, 2013, 02:23 AM
Blk_Amish Blk_Amish is offline
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Chip, not a perfect child but one who has been exposed to travel sometimes outside of the classroom. Here is the essay that won my son the Ronald McDonald Future Achievers Scholarship. Am I proud, you betcha! Also, we are a volunteer host family, not paid. I respect the fact that showing up in class is of uttermost importance to you are yours. Please do the same for parents who choose to do things differently.

"Hello. A greeting, a noun, a word as old as the act of conversation itself. In my home, all variations of hello are welcome. Ranging from the elegant hola of the Spanish language, the distinct bonjour of the French nation, as well as the informal what’s up of my small southern California town. Since I was a young age, my family has hosted students of all ages traveling abroad from their home countries. Making lifelong connections with each new guest of my home, I have grown into an accepting, extremely open minded individual, avid to explore every culture that I have the opportunity to cross paths with. Through my experiences, I have a firm understanding that although we may all look and sound different, we all deal with the same trifles such as youth, love, and pride in our own ways. My cultural upbringing has shaped my aspirations in life, inspiring me to live an atypical lifestyle, one that consists of as much traveling and diversity as humanly possible.

Beginning in 2001, my home has opened it’s doors to residents of countries such as Croatia, China, and Russia. The coming of every new guest means a new beginning, a new opportunity to dive head first into an exciting new culture. I have tasted the finest Japanese cuisine, sang traditional Austrian folk songs, and delved myself into the cultures of many different nations. National holidays, birthdays, as well as the commonly forgotten blessing of good health are all reason to celebrate in foreign manners with our guests. Each guest brings along their own traditions and customs along with them, being as unique and distinctive as the guests before them. The thought of the countless cultures I’ve never experienced before makes my heart race, pushing me to achieve my goals of becoming a modern day nomad.

The irreplaceable bonds that my family has made with each student have extended into connections with the families of the students, creating a basis to venture to foreign countries and stay in their homes just as they have with my family. Experiencing everyday life through the perspective of a foreign culture is just as awe striking as it is shocking. Sampling all that the Vienna nightlife has to offer is as equally as memorable as nearly being pickpocketed on the subway’s of Barcelona. From bustling cities such as Rome to small farming towns of Denmark, a common theme of openness and acceptance is shared between them. The memories I’ve made with the people I’ve made connections with are something I wouldn’t trade for all the tea in China, which is some of the most ambrosial liquid I’ve ever indulged in. My cultural upbringing has crafted me into an open minded, accepting individual. The memories that I’ve created and the connections that have formed over the years inspire me to create even more memories in the next chapter of my life known as college. I’m ambitious to meet more individuals with unique cultures, hopefully study abroad during school, and chase my aspirations to greatly further travel the world."

Last edited by Blk_Amish; July 8th, 2013 at 02:43 AM.
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  #104  
Old July 8th, 2013, 06:49 AM
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NanciRDH NanciRDH is offline
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Blk_Amish....wow! Awesome, you have every right to be proud!
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  #105  
Old July 8th, 2013, 09:46 AM
mjkacmom mjkacmom is offline
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I always love this question

Our school district allows for 7 days of EXCUSED "Family Vacation Time" every year. So we use it - every year. It has very little to do with traveling during the Summer verses the school year because we travel all year round

It just gives us more time to throw in another cruise.

I picked up my daughter's report card last week (she is going into 8th grade and is in one of those fast track classes where they combine high school classes with college credit courses when they reach 11th grade)

She received straight A+'s (No A's around here - she scores above THAT) and had her 5 missed days (for Epic last year) and only one bad comment from her Algebra teacher "she talks too much" - just like her mama!

I think we'll be fine.
You really can't compare 7th grade to HS - I don't think my two in HS ever received a B in middle school (A's are the highest - no A+'s in this town), and that was in all honors classes. They would not be okay with missing a week of HS - too much on the line. Dd12 will be taking all honors classes next year in 7th, plus algebra, and I'd pull her out, same as my two 5th graders (in the GT program). But, that wouldn't be fair to my sophomore and senior.
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  #106  
Old July 8th, 2013, 10:14 AM
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Veering off topic a bit, but this post speaks to one unfortunate side effect of the American (though not exclusively American) education system. The unintended consequence of the way we split "education" and "free time" is that several generations of us have broadened the concept to separate "learning" and "fun". The fact that your - and most other - children consider the prospect of learning something while on vacation to be a *detriment* to the experience rather than an *enhancement* is a significant indicator as to why the U.S. Ed. system has fallen behind over the last generation or so. Too many of of our educators have failed to teach our children that learning is its own reward.

My BIL is one of those people who has bought into this philosophy with his son. I remember an occasion when we were all visiting the in-laws (his parents). His young son / my nephew had wandered into grandpa's study. Grandpa started showing him his globe, where we are, where other things are, you know, normal stuff, and my BIL swooped in and quickly removed his son from the room, claiming that this isn't school! He should be having FUN, not learning stuff... That's what school is for!

Surprise surprise, his son HATES school.

Anyway, I guess I'll get off my soapbox.
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Originally Posted by pafam4 View Post
I haven't bought into any kind of philosophy. I just don't think my kids need to be reading textbooks and writing papers while on a cruise, if we can afford to vacation outside of school time. I'm guessing I should have been more clear...I don't prohibit learning on a cruise for goodness sake! Of course my kids learn on a cruise....believe me they are very well-rounded.
You're right. I shouldn't have sloppily phrased my post in a way that lumped your children in with others. Instead of saying:
"The fact that your - and most other - children consider the prospect of learning something while on vacation to be a *detriment* to the experience rather than an *enhancement* ...",
I should have said:
"The fact that so many children consider the prospect of learning something while on vacation to be a *detriment* to the experience rather than an *enhancement* ..."
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  #107  
Old July 8th, 2013, 06:27 PM
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I have 4 kids and did it in 09. The older kids where in high school and the 2 younger in elementary and I had no problems. Planning on doing it again this October. Of course, my then high schoolers are now in college so...see??? It had no effect on them. LOL!
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  #108  
Old July 9th, 2013, 10:30 AM
Blk_Amish Blk_Amish is offline
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Chip, you bought parenting, values, and morals, into a discussion about pulling kids out of school and the classroom. This is from a kid who was pulled to play in the snow.

As parents when our kids behave badly we get blamed, when we show pride, we get labeled.

"To my amazing mother, terrific father, and absolutely beautiful little sister.
I love you all so extremely much. I can’t put it into words the amount of feelings I have for you three. You are the most amazing, forgiving, generous, loving family I could ever ask for, I couldn’t be more grateful for the love and support that you give me each and every day. Mom, I appreciate your stern but gentle love, the work you have put in to become a better mother each and every day has shown so brightly and I’m so proud of you for bettering yourself out of the love for your husband and kids. Dad, I honestly couldn’t ask for a better male role model than you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart with all seriousness. I appreciate the sacrifices you make for me every day working at the hospital, I really do appreciate them. You’re easily the best father and best man I could ever think of or meet, I love you. Mikayla, you have blossomed into such a smart, talented, dedicated, GORGEOUS young woman and you only have better things waiting for you. I love you to death, I couldn’t ask for a better sister than you, you make me so proud seeing you dance and get good grades at such an early age, making your own money and getting right on your permit testing, and also staying away from the wrong crowd make me so absolutely happy to call you my little sister.

Mom, Dad, I think this is what you’ve been waiting for. I took a long soul searching walk, and I really realized something. I’m so ready to go into college headstrong and make the best out of it and do my absolute god (darn) best in my studies and academics. I know I might not get the grade every time, but I’ll be (darned) if I look back on my college career and thought, “Man, I could have done better than that.” I’m ready to give it 100000% x 100000. I’m dedicated, motivated, and anticipating me to excel in every task I attempt in college. The payments you two are making are so appreciated, and I ask for you not to look at them like payments, but more as investments into my future. The greatest investment you could ever make, I’m going to work my god (darn) hardest for a deep sense of satisfaction in a job well done in myself, but also the pride of my mother and father. That’s more important than any amount of money or any degree in my opinion. I love you guys. So much.

When we went camping, mom, you asked me to make a bucket list. Well, it’s short, but here it is.
1. Graduate from college in top honors
2. Live life to the absolute fullest with the ones I love.
3. Become a master in whatever category I choose to pursue.
4. Make the town I come from, H----, proud to say they raised me.
5. Make my beautiful sister proud to call me her brother.
6. Make my amazing mother happy and proud in any way shape or form possible.
7. Last, and most important, I want to be more of a man than even my god given father could even predict me to be. I want to make him proud the most.

I’m ready, and it’s about time I really made it known here. Let me remove all of the doubts from you guys. It’s my turn to make you guys proud to say I’m your son."

Last edited by Blk_Amish; July 9th, 2013 at 10:35 AM.
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  #109  
Old July 9th, 2013, 11:41 AM
blitznbobs blitznbobs is offline
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I guess it does come down to moral values. I personally can't see anything amoral about missing a few days of school - if your child is not behind. The only person it possibly hurts is your child and as a person who had less than 50% attendance at school due to medical issues ( and went on to go to a top university studying a competitive subject) I don't see full attendance as very important... But it is up to the individual to decide if this is an important moral issue to them.
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  #110  
Old July 9th, 2013, 12:38 PM
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NO.. never HS

I did take my daughter out of 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade to compete at some National championships. That I thought was worthy, a vacation nope.
This is the most hypocritical post I've read yet


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  #111  
Old July 9th, 2013, 01:10 PM
Blk_Amish Blk_Amish is offline
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This is the most hypocritical post I've read yet


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LOL, it was a worthy ABSENCE, unlike the ones where kids see national treasures and bonding with family.
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  #112  
Old July 9th, 2013, 01:27 PM
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LOL, it was a worthy ABSENCE, unlike the ones where kids see national treasures and bonding with family.
Exactly, I guess his reason is the ONLY reason to take a child out of school. He wants to bring up morals and values, well maybe family bonding is high on that families values list.


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  #113  
Old July 9th, 2013, 01:54 PM
Blk_Amish Blk_Amish is offline
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Exactly, I guess his reason is the ONLY reason to take a child out of school. He wants to bring up morals and values, well maybe family bonding is high on that families values list.


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I think he 'chipped' in to trigger others like himself to come in on the attack. Once you have done the deed, you are no longer pure...so to speak. Many schools pull kids for field trips, amusement parks, precious competitions, especially Science Fair and Spelling Bees.

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  #114  
Old July 9th, 2013, 05:22 PM
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Yes people have lots of different reasons for taking kids out of school. But I don't think that all reasons are equally valid (e.g., using Blk_Amish's example of spelling bee versus amusement park). Some people really think through the decision, consult with the teacher and their own child/student, figure out exactly what will be missed and how to make it up, and weigh that against what will be gained. I would never second guess any parent's choice in that situation.

But other people seem to want to do what is most convenient or the best bargain, and fall back on the easy rationale that family bonding time always justifies any decision to pull kids out of school. That's where I think they're sending their kids the wrong values message, especially in high school.
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  #115  
Old July 9th, 2013, 07:03 PM
Blk_Amish Blk_Amish is offline
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They are your kids, the decision doesn't have to be justified. Some parents home school their kids with more flexibility and much better result than public school. If the decision causes your kids to fail, then most likely they will live with you FOREVER and before you know it you are raising your grandchildren, sweet Jesus. That's enough for me to say neva again.

The goal of school is to educate, who says this needs to be done in a classroom 5 days per week, every week, until an official break. Yes, traveling when it's cheaper, cooler, and more convenient make sense, not to mention less stressful. Europe would have cost us $400 x 4 more per ticket if we had waited a week. The tickets were $1,100 each verses $1,500 each plus weather was cooler.

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  #116  
Old July 9th, 2013, 07:11 PM
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ITCHING to do the Dream repositioning cruise, April 5th. DD is going to be a freshman in HS this year. Her SCHEDULED April vacation is the week of the 12th. If her grades are good, we are seriously considering pulling her out. Has anyone else done this??????? Thank you in advance!!!!!
We have taken our son out of high school a couple of times to go on a family vacation. the last one he was a senior. His dad had a heart transplant 6 months before and everyone was way to stressed. at the 6 month mark his dad was oked to go on the cruise. after years of stress ( bad enough that ds had to go to counciling after his Dad's defibulater went of 36 times in front of ds, and he thought his dad died) . Ds loved it and had the best time in the teen lounge. It was so relaxing for all of us. We just had his teachers give him the work ahead of time and the ones that didnt give it early said he could stay after school the week we came back to make it up. ok here is the bad thing of taking them out. DS kissed a few girls and ended up with Mono after the cruise. so instead of just missing 4 days he ended up missing weeks. he was 2 day away from having to repeat the grade even though he was passing the classes. We had to send him back to school once he was no longer contagious even though he would just sleep the day away in class. He did graduate, the first time we took him out every thing was fine. Just thought you might want to hear the good and bad.
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  #117  
Old July 9th, 2013, 07:22 PM
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... instead of just missing 4 days he ended up missing weeks. he was 2 day away from having to repeat the grade even though he was passing the classes. We had to send him back to school once he was no longer contagious even though he would just sleep the day away in class.
Why do some schools give the education system a bad name by being so stupid? Quote: "Yes, we realise you have learned what you're supposed to, but that's not what education is about. Education is about following every pettifogging little rule that we choose to make up, and if that means you have to spend a year doing nothing and learning nothing, why should we care? Education's not about the child." Or words to that effect.
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  #118  
Old July 10th, 2013, 02:34 AM
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Omg not graduating cos u were sick . I'm glad the British system isn't that stupid as despite being top of the year in most subjects I rarely did a full week at school... I'd still be there if attendance was taken into account.
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Old July 10th, 2013, 08:51 AM
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Yes people have lots of different reasons for taking kids out of school. But I don't think that all reasons are equally valid (e.g., using Blk_Amish's example of spelling bee versus amusement park). Some people really think through the decision, consult with the teacher and their own child/student, figure out exactly what will be missed and how to make it up, and weigh that against what will be gained. I would never second guess any parent's choice in that situation.

But other people seem to want to do what is most convenient or the best bargain, and fall back on the easy rationale that family bonding time always justifies any decision to pull kids out of school. That's where I think they're sending their kids the wrong values message, especially in high school.
You are right, there are many reasons why parents might pull their child from school, family bonding is just one. Whether you agree with it or not doesn't make it wrong, maybe you have your own reasons you use to justify taking you're kids out that someone else would not see as a good reason. And Blk_Amish's example you referenced had nothing to do with parents, those were reasons the school lets get out of school.


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  #120  
Old July 10th, 2013, 10:11 AM
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Unhappy Missing School

I know school is VERY important, but my vacation and my son's vacation are not compatible. i am not able to take vacation all the time.


has anyone with children every let them miss a week of school to go on a family cruise? Am I a horrible mom for thinking about this? I already feel guilty but life has been hard for us and we really really need a vacation.

any thoughts??
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