How do you deal with rude people?

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West Orange, NJ
139 Posts
Joined Sep 2005
I completely agree. People have little knowledge, which we can help with. Some have little to no compassion or understanding. Yelling "look, a miracle" when I park the scooter at the restaurant door and make my painful walk to the table sure teaches me a lesson, eh? There is a website that makes me laugh called dogshaming..owners post a photo,of their dog, dog destruction or bad behavior with a little sign saying what did do. (I always laugh) sometimes I want a People Shaming photo of those with the nerve to make remarks about weight, health, or level of handicap.

Originally posted by sabookkeeper
I think we all have to be careful at judging why people are in a scooter/wheelchair. I am usually able to walk around the ship because there are lots of places to sit down. However, I am no longer able to walk long distances (sometimes just getting to the end of the pier is too much). So if someone sees me in port on my scooter and not using it on board, they may think I am just being lazy. Not all inflictions are visible and therefore people should not be judged by what you think is their reason for using a scooter. Also, I should not have to explain to someone else the reason I am in a scooter.
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Originally posted by OldinJersey
Yelling "look, a miracle" when I park the scooter at the restaurant door and make my painful walk to the table sure teaches me a lesson, eh?
Good grief, that's AWFUL! Some people are just complete idiots. And others are sooooo judgemental (although it can be entertaining listening/reading as they try to defend themselves and claim they aren't).

I'm so sorry that happened to you.
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Originally posted by OldinJersey
I do not understand either the resentment underlying this post, or the "problem".You would also have healthy folks not board if next person in line is handicapped and no room on bus? It would make people unhappy so your supposed sense of fairness accommodated. It is not priority boarding as in getting treated better, it is designed for the least complicated, most safe loading. Loading simultaneously is unsafe.
We do not push in front at elevators but most of us know a certain few feel justified jumping the line if the person in front is in a scooter or chair. No reason to help that behavior.
Yes, I would let the bus go on and everyone waits for the next one.


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Originally posted by ducklite
You don't know who is waiting in that line with a hidden medical problem. Those who have been waiting should always get priority over someone who rolls up as the bus pulls to the curb. If there will obviously be room for all, sure, board the chair first. But if the bus is already full, there is no reason that the wheelchair should get priority when others waiting longer will be left behind as a result.

My neighbor has a heart problem. She isn't Ina wheelchair but has been hospitalized six times in the past two years because of it. Are you saying that you in your chair should get priority over her when she has been waiting longer? I highly disagree. She has just as much need if not more.
I agree with you if all is equal, but, the problem as I see it is that the AB have many seats to choose from or they can stand while the disabled only have, at best, a couple of spaces. In very busy situations, such as, Disney World, the disabled might have a much longer wait for those 2 spots if they were not given priority. The same applies in busy bathrooms, AB waiting can go into many different stalls while the disabled, maybe one. That could take a very long time with the disabled person having to keep saying, you go ahead of me I must wait for the accessible stall.
Columbus, OH
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Joined Apr 2011
Originally posted by Ians Grandma
I agree with you if all is equal, but, the problem as I see it is that the AB have many seats to choose from or they can stand while the disabled only have, at best, a couple of spaces. In very busy situations, such as, Disney World, the disabled might have a much longer wait for those 2 spots if they were not given priority. The same applies in busy bathrooms, AB waiting can go into many different stalls while the disabled, maybe one. That could take a very long time with the disabled person having to keep saying, you go ahead of me I must wait for the accessible stall.
I agree, we have only a very small section we can use. I run into this problem with bathrooms all the time. An AB person is in the only handicap stall and the other 5 are open. I have to stand there and wait for the handicap stall to become available since I can't just use one of the others (like they could have).
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Originally posted by Ians Grandma
I agree with you if all is equal, but, the problem as I see it is that the AB have many seats to choose from or they can stand while the disabled only have, at best, a couple of spaces. In very busy situations, such as, Disney World, the disabled might have a much longer wait for those 2 spots if they were not given priority. The same applies in busy bathrooms, AB waiting can go into many different stalls while the disabled, maybe one. That could take a very long time with the disabled person having to keep saying, you go ahead of me I must wait for the accessible stall.
You assume that anyone who is ambulatory is "able bodied.". That is not the case, and sometimes people who aren't in wheelchairs or scooters are just as much in need of a seat or larger toilet stall.


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Originally posted by sherilyn70
I agree, we have only a very small section we can use. I run into this problem with bathrooms all the time. An AB person is in the only handicap stall and the other 5 are open. I have to stand there and wait for the handicap stall to become available since I can't just use one of the others (like they could have).
What if that person is using that stall because they need to change or empty their osteomy bag and need access to the sink in the stall? You make assumptions that might be completely invalid, as that person might need that stall just as much as you do.


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Columbus, OH
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Joined Apr 2011
Originally posted by ducklite
What if that person is using that stall because they need to change or empty their osteomy bag and need access to the sink in the stall? You make assumptions that might be completely invalid, as that person might need that stall just as much as you do.
Actually, you're the one that is making an assumption. You did not ask how I know or do not know if they are an AB person. I do know that the ones I specifically am thinking of do not need these stalls as I know them personally... and they do use other stalls if they see me in there first. I've had many of them appologize to me for having used it and making me wait. They outright admit that they use these because it's the first stall when they enter the bathroom and it's convenient.

I don't assume anyone I don't know to be or not be AB... however when they walk out and appologize to me looking guilty it certainly does make it look like they could have used another stall.
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Williamsport PA
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I am guilty of assuming AB people are using the accessible (family) restrooms. DH is wheelchair bound. I must accompany him into the facility.
So when I see someone walk out after we have been waiting a long time and he can't hold it. I get angry.
I will try to assume that the person may have had a good reason for using this room.
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Williamsport PA
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People act like I'm mentally challenged because I'm pushing a wheelchair.
Example: I don't park in handicap spaces because DH doesn't have to walk...I'm pushing. As long as it's not up hill, I don't care if I push 20 feet or 100 feet. People will come up to me and say "you can park over here!" like I'm too slow to figure it out myself. One man actually swore at me for not taking his advice (yes, F bombed me).
I've noticed people are very eager to give me advice, but not one as ever asked if I need help loading the 50 pound wheelchair in the trunk.
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Vancouver Island, BC, Canada
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Originally posted by lmd4941977
People act like I'm mentally challenged because I'm pushing a wheelchair.
Example: I don't park in handicap spaces because DH doesn't have to walk...I'm pushing. As long as it's not up hill, I don't care if I push 20 feet or 100 feet. People will come up to me and say "you can park over here!" like I'm too slow to figure it out myself. One man actually swore at me for not taking his advice (yes, F bombed me).
I've noticed people are very eager to give me advice, but not one as ever asked if I need help loading the 50 pound wheelchair in the trunk.
On the other hand, I have a hoist, to unload and load my scooter, in and out of my van, and people come up and ask if I need help, as if they can't see the hoist, already connected to the scooter, to which I, of course answer, no, I have all the help, I need!!

Cato

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Near Orlando but California Dreaming
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Originally posted by Donna's Dad
On the other hand, I have a hoist, to unload and load my scooter, in and out of my van, and people come up and ask if I need help, as if they can't see the hoist, already connected to the scooter, to which I, of course answer, no, I have all the help, I need!!

Cato

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Pre-cruise Days - The Big Red Boat, 1993 ??

1st cruise - Coral Princess, 19 November 2008, 10 day Panama Canal, FLL to ACA
2nd cruise - Coral Princess, 15 May 2009, 3 day Repositioning, Los Angeles to Vancouver.
3rd cruise - Sapphire Princess, 25 November 2009? 7 day Mexican Riviera.
4th cruise - Golden Princes, 12 June 2010, 7 day Alaska. (Golden Anniversary Cruise)
5th Cruise - Island Princess, 04 October 2010, Vancouver - Los Angeles, Repositioning
6th cruise - Sapphire Princess, 05 January 2011, 10 day Mexican Riviera. LA to LA.
7th cruise - Golden Princess, 11 May 2011, 3 day, LA to Vancouver, Repositioning
8th cruise - Sapphire Princess, 14 May 2011, 1 day, Vancouver to Seattle, Repositioning
9th cruise - Coral Princess 19 May 2011 2 day, San Francisco to Vancouver, Repositioning
10th & 11th cruises - Coral Princess 02 July to 16 July 2011, round trip Vancouver - Whittier Alaska, B2B
12th & 13th cruises - Sapphire Princess, x2, Cabins, 18 Sep. 2011, 1 day, Seattle to Vancouver, Repositioning
14th & 15th cruises - Golden Princess, x2, Cabins, 24 Sep. 2011, 1 day, Seattle to Vancouver, Repositioning.
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21th cruise - Emerald Princess, 16 day, 10 - 26 Sep. 2012, TA, Copenhagen - New York
22nd cruise - Carnival Ecstasy 10 - 14 January, 2013, 4 Day Bahamas, Port Canaveral Ret.
23rd cruise - Sapphire Princess 30 March - 06 April, 2013, 7 Day Coastal LA - LA
24th cruise - Coral Princess, 19 May - 22 May, 2013, 3 Day Repositioning Cruise, LA - Vancouver
25th cruise - Royal Princess 16 June - 05 July, 2013, 19 Day Inaugural cruise, Southampton - Venice.
26th cruise - Emerald Princess, 06 - 16 October, 2013, 10 Day Canada - New England, Quebexc city to New York


Future & Hopeful Cruises !
( Already booked )

.27th cruise - Royal Princess, 24 November - 01 December, 2013, 7 Day,Eastern Caribbean, Fort Lauderdale Ret.
28th cruise - Caribbean Princess, 29 Mar. - 05 Apr. 2014, 7 Day, Western Caribbean, Houston Ret.
29th cruise - Pacific Princess, 17 - 24 June 2014 Vancouver - Skagway Ret
30th cruise - Royal Princess, 10 - 27 Sep. 2014 TA Copenhagen - New York
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They are just trying to be kind. If they walked by thinking you didn't need help when you actually did,you be complaining about that as well,right?


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Columbus, OH
3,871 Posts
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Originally posted by ducklite
They are just trying to be kind. If they walked by thinking you didn't need help when you actually did,you be complaining about that as well,right?
No, they are trying to look and feel like they are a kind and good person. The only reason they probably ask is because they know the offer would be turned down. If they actually needed help there would be far less offers.
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Originally posted by sherilyn70
No, they are trying to look and feel like they are a kind and good person. The only reason they probably ask is because they know the offer would be turned down. If they actually needed help there would be far less offers.
That's ridiculous. I often offer to help someone because you never know who might need it but be afraid to ask. I guess I'd rather someone like you get a bee in their bonnet about it than not be there for someone who could use a hand but doesn't want to ask.


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Columbus, OH
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Originally posted by ducklite
That's ridiculous. I often offer to help someone because you never know who might need it but be afraid to ask. I guess I'd rather someone like you get a bee in their bonnet about it than not be there for someone who could use a hand but doesn't want to ask.
Just because you wouldn't be like that doesn't mean that much of the world isn't. If you've had to go long term being disabled you'll start to see the patterns a lot clearer. I see this all the time unfortunately... they offer to help me AFTER I've already struggled and completed the task and watched me the entire time. Humanity is very lacking in this modern world and people don't just offer help that often. That's not to say that there aren't those that will help and go out of there way though... I have some pretty heart touching stories I could also share, but the majority of people fall more into the trying to do as little as possible or even worse, completely ignoring those that might be in need of assistance and pushing past them.
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Originally posted by sherilyn70
Just because you wouldn't be like that doesn't mean that much of the world isn't. If you've had to go long term being disabled you'll start to see the patterns a lot clearer. I see this all the time unfortunately... they offer to help me AFTER I've already struggled and completed the task and watched me the entire time. Humanity is very lacking in this modern world and people don't just offer help that often. That's not to say that there aren't those that will help and go out of there way though... I have some pretty heart touching stories I could also share, but the majority of people fall more into the trying to do as little as possible or even worse, completely ignoring those that might be in need of assistance and pushing past them.
You assume that people rapidly process what they see to determine that someone is in need. Some people won't offer to help because they've been chastised in the past for doing so. I can't blame them, there is just so many bitter, nasty responses to an offer to assist that the average person is going to accept before just saying it's not worth even offering any longer. In other words, if someone has given a nasty or rude response to an offer to help because they didn't need it or felt it came too late, they need to remember that the next time they don't get the offer to begin with. It's a two way street.


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I'd rather tell someone 'I don't need help. Thanks'. I have taken up that offer a few times - pushing DS and struggling with heavy shopping bags.

If someone bothers to offer help, I assume they mean it. Regardless of why they may be offering help.
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Originally posted by OldinJersey
I completely agree. People have little knowledge, which we can help with. Some have little to no compassion or understanding. Yelling "look, a miracle" when I park the scooter at the restaurant door and make my painful walk to the table sure teaches me a lesson, eh?
You could always wave and say "Praise the Lord!"
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I find it very difficult to understand why some handicap are constantly bitching about AB not meeting their particular expectations regardless if it is what the AB does or does not do. We just completed a couple cruises where we needed assistance in Vigo and Oporto. Between the hills (steep inclines) and lack of curb cutouts, we had strangers offering to assist us many times. Their assistance was well received and appreciated. Regardless of the language barriers we understood each other. I was not afraid to hold their hand and thank them in a manner that they knew we sincerely appreciated their assistance and that they did something wonderful.

We also received assistance in St. Maarten and San Juan; again, we expressed our appreciation. In Le Havre, La Rochelle and Bilbao, strangers offered assistance assuming we needed help. In those cases, we thanked them and advised that we were OK.

Over time I have come across AB using the HC toilet stalls. If the restroom is basically empty without any appearance that the other stalls were all occupied, I will normally just give them a dirty look, but still thank them for holding the door open for me.

We have been around the world and found that people are wonderful everywhere. It seems such a pity that some of you seem to meet up with or make contact with those you consider rude. I hope that at some point you will be able to see that people are wonderful and normally willing to assist when assistance is needed. A simple smile takes less muscles than a frown and makes others much more receptive to being around.

Betty
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Past cruises: Splendour OTS (Med) 11/01, Voyager OTS (Caribbean) 11/02, Majesty OTS (Bahamas) 1/03, Nordic Empress (Caribbean) 3/03, Noordam (Baltic) 7/03, Horizon (W Caribbean) 12/03, Horizon (E Caribbean) 2/04, Jasmine (Nile) 5/04, Empress OTS (S Caribbean) 12/04, Opera (E Med) 4/05, Maasdam (St Lawrence) 6/05, Sapphire Princess (Mexico) 12/05, Regal Princess (Amazon) 4/06, Rotterdam (Black Sea) 10/06, Rotterdam (Med) 10/06, Sun Princess (Caribbean) 1/07, Magica (TA) 5/07, Island Princess (Panama Canal east) 10/07, Mercury (So Pacific) 3/08 , Mercury (Hawaii) 3/08, Century (W Med) 11/08; Legend OTS (Asia) 4/09; Legend OTS (Asia) 5/09; Legend OTS (Mid East) 5/09; Rotterdam (Baltic) 8/09; Volendam (Japan) 10/09; Poesia (Caribbean) 1/10; Summit (Bermuda) 5/10; Concordia (W Med) 10/10; Century (TA) 10/10; Oasis OTS (W. Caribbean) 9/11; Carnival Valor (E. Caribbean) 9/11; Carnival Valor (W. Caribbean) 9/11; NCL Sky (Bahamas) 9/11; Majesty OTS (Bahamas) 9/11; Carnival Imagination (W. Caribbean)10/11; NCL Spirit (W. Caribbean) 10/11; Maasdam (Atlantic Coast/St. Lawrence) 4/12; NCL Jade (Med/Holy Land) 2/13; Infinity 10/13 (Western Europe); Liberty OTS 10/13 (Transatlantic); Maasdam 1/14 (S Caribbean), NCL Gem 9/14(Bahamas); Carnival Splendor 9/14 (New England); Carnival Pride 9/14 (Bahamas); Carnival Paradise 10/14 (Caribbean); NCL Star 10/14 (Panama Canal west); Equinox 1/15 (Caribbean); Constellation 2/15 (Caribbean);Serenade OTS 1/16 (Eastern Caribbean); Serenade OTS 1/16 (East/Southern Caribbean); Serenade OTS 4/16 (Transatlantic); Serenade OTS 5/16 (Norway); Enchantment OTS 1/17 (Bahamas); Navigator OTS 1/17 (Western Caribbean); Navigator OTS 1/17 (Caribbean); Eurodam 1/17 (Caribbean); Getaway 2/17 (Caribbean)