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Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!


Brenda33

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Hi. I am 43 years old. I have always been thin. Before I got pregnant with my last son (I have had 3 c-sections) I was 108 pounds. After that I averaged between 120 and 125. If I had a fat moment and got upset I was at 128!!! I am 5'3". So anyhow, since August I gained a ton of weight. I went all the way up to 143!!! KILL ME!!! My stomach is flabby and flops over the new jeans I had to buy because I couldn't even squeeze into the old ones. Anyhow, my wish is to be thin and sexy again before the summer and then to stay that way for my cruise which isn't until November. I started a diet 11 days ago and I have lost 5 pounds. Sounds good right? NOT!!...I lost those first 5 pounds by the 5th day. Now one week later and I have not lost anymore....NOTHING!! I have been eating extremely healthy. I have had 1 cup of high fiber cereal with 1/2 cup skim milk for breakfast, one cup homemade bean soup...NO FAT....for lunch, and I have either all veggies, like vegetable soup, or veggies with a piece of chicken breast for dinner. I have been riding a stationery bike for 30 minutes a day everyday except one so far! I will admit that I went out to dinner on Saturday night. I had mushrooms and chicken.....and a piece of bread and wine....BUT....it was one meal!!! Can one meal really ruin an entire diet? I mean it wasn't alfredo sauce and no dessert or anything. Ok, so I weigh 138 now. I want to get to a maximum of 125 pounds. Of course I would like to be thinner. But at this point I really just want to fit into my summer clothes. Please help....I want to look nice for my cruise!! THANKS!!!

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Sounds like you might not be getting enough calories. You have to eat to lose weight or your body thinks you're starving and stores every calorie you give it. I'd say make sure you're eating at least 1000 calories a day and go from there.

 

Also remember that the first five pounds was probably water weight, which is pretty easy to drop, but after that it gets a lot harder, especially when you don't have that much to lose.

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Alright Brenda, you asked for some advice so here it is! I have been just where you are so can speak easily from experience. It is just the simple truth and fact of life that it will never be easy again to loose weight quickly the way you do when you were a few years younger. Getting depressed or frantic will produce no good results; in fact this “stressing out” will slow down the process…. So step one has got to be to just get over it, accept that this time around loosing the weight is going to be harder, but absolutely “do-able and thin and sexy is within your reach.

 

The five pounds was a good start, and probably you lost extra water weight or just a jump start as a result of your reduced calories. From here on out it will slow down and yes some weeks you will loose no weight at all, and then all of a sudden a drop. It was not that one meal that stopped your weight loss, it is just this stop and go process you will see from here on out. My guess is that if you did not have that meal, you still would not have lost any weight. As much as loosing 5 pounds a week is fun, if you continued at this rate, reached your goal quick, in no time at all you would put it back on…. Really, slower is better in the long run.

 

The key to success is just to keep on going on, no matter if you loose weight or not. Do not let it get you down when you have a no weight loss week, just look forward to the next week when the scale may move. It will happen as long as you stick with it. At 50 I was in your position, and lost 30 pounds with many no weight loss weeks. What is the alternative? To stop.. that certainly won’t work, will it??? Just hang in there, maybe not on the schedule you want but it will happen….. You have plenty of time and I see no reason why you can’t be there by the summer, absolutely by your cruise.

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Thank you for the advice. I was told today that I may not be eating enough by a fitness expert. She told me to eat a piece of fruit in between meals to keep my metabolism up. I do remember that when I was younger if I gained weight I'd go on a "semi-diet" and the weight would leave almost instantly. Now its a huge struggle. I may join a gym on Monday. Getting out into the world and dealing with this with other people may help instead of sitting home feeling sorry for myself. I am still depressed though....but I am willing to try. This is why I came to this board. I need to chat with people to get tips and to help me through it. Along the way, maybe I can help someone too. Thanks again and keep all comments coming! :)

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Congratulations on the five pound loss. As others have already said, from here on in, you will be fortunate to loose 1-2 lbs. a week and there will be weeks with nothing showing on the scale. Don't let that discourage you - remember, you didn't gain it all in a few weeks and you're not going to lose it all in that amount of time either. You do need to factor in a couple of snacks during the day - maybe a piece of fruit or a protein bar.

 

I set out to lose 70 lbs. just before my 60th birthday - figured I couldn't help getting old but I didn't have to be old AND fat! Took about 18 months, including some backslides for cruises and other vacations and the fact that at this age my metabolism is basically in the toilet, but that was fine because I learned how to alter my way of eating permanently. This is so important - I remember years ago losing on ton on fen/phen - it was so quick and easy, but it came right back because I hadn't really changed anything. Now, just the smell of deep fried food (which I previously loved) makes me gag.

 

Joining a gym is a good move - while I have a couple of pieces of exercise equipment at home and a whole library of workout tapes (and now fitness on demand on my cable TV as well) - guess what? I never use any of it. I joined an inexpensive "no frills" gym where I can stop for an hour on my way home from work several times a week and burn a few hundred calories. Another "trick" that has served me well is to diary - everything that goes into my mouth gets written down. Sure cuts back on mindless eating when you know it has to go down on paper.

 

Good luck - keep us posted!

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I think that the other people have given great advice, but in terms of exercise, one thing you have to think about is that riding a stationary bike for 30 minutes really doesn't burn THAT many calories (200-300), so why not try an elliptical machine because you will burn way more calories in the same amount of time and you get a much better workout on your heart. If you have an mp3 player, put some catchy fast paced songs on and your workout should be more fun. You can go on an elliptical and burn 200 calories in 10-12 minutes, so if you start there are build up your stamina, in 30 minutes you will be burning twice as many calories.

 

just a suggestion:D (we are lucky and have an elliptical in our basement, so I watch an hour long show while on it each day).

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More great advise you have gotten....

 

Yes, I do eat through out the day while keeping my calories around 1300 per day. Around ten each day I have apple slices with peanut butter(sounds horrible, is good!, good source of protien also), a 200 calorie lunch and then aound 3:30 which is about an hour and a half before I hit the gym I have Activita yougurt. I beleive these little snacks help keep my metabolism going.

 

Going to the gym is a great idea. This is one thing that in addition to the good things it will do for your body will get you out of that depressed state. It gives you this feeling that you are doing something about reaching your goal, so even if you dont loose weight in a week, you worked hard, your feel good about yourself and it actually keeps you wanting to keep on.

 

I use an elliptical machine every day for about 30 minutes and I push it hard. Unlike Laura there is no way I will burn that many calories in 15 minutes... It takes that 30 minutes of a heart rate of about 160 to reach the 250 mark.

 

Keep us up to date on your progress.. Hears hoping your frame of mind gets better.

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No laughing....I really am a smart girl...lol....but what exactly is an eliptical machine? Is it weights? No MP3 for me. I am in the old fashioned world. I even still have some records! LOL

 

Today's plan is to have breakfast with my little guy (5 almost 6), then ride the bike. That will get the hard stuff out of the way. Tonight we are going out to dinner (we always do on Saturday night) and then we are going to see monster trucks with my little guy. Its part of his bday present. Hopefully, they don't have yummy popcorn, etc. being offered in the seats!

 

I appreciate all this help. And, good luck to everyone out there struggling like me. :)

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Here's another big fat ugly reality check. You have to REALLY exercise..not just 30 minutes on a bike..look at all the research out there for losing weight, reaslitically you need to be doing more like an hour of cardio daily and a couple days of weights. Try this website, www.stewsmith.com

 

Another big fat ugly reality check. If your only burning a couple hundered calories a day, you should be cutting at least that much from your diet daily or you're not going to lose weight.

 

A realistic reality check: Eat fruits/vegetables, a couple of starches a day, and a couple of pieces of protein. READ the labels and WEIGH/MEASURE your food. DON'T eat anything out of a box, microwavable (those lean cuisines..sure they are low calorie but look at the sodium and the other garbage that's in there..you want that?) Yes, your stomach will complain with smaller portions but remember it got stretched out by getting fat. It'll rebound when it gets used to smaller portions.

 

Cook and make your own food. Too bad if you're busy. You have to suck it up and force yourself to adopt a lifestlye which means effort.

 

Getting fat requires no effort, getting thin and healthy does.

 

Look at Bardgal's thread on here.."Easiest Diet Ever" and you'll learn lots.

 

Good luck. Menina

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Menina,

 

I didn't realize I needed more than 30 minutes daily!!! WOW!! Alright, I'll try to get into more exercise.

 

I DID, however, cut my calories daily by probably alot more than half. I am measuring my food also. I am eating fiber, veggies and sometimes chicken. I am drinking water. So unless I need more food my diet cannot be the problem. I always cook my own food. I never eat frozen foods.

 

Thanks again for your help. Hopefully, the gym will help.

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Let's put this in perspective....

 

We have a mom with young ones trying to get fit and loose weight... Every day cardio for an hour is just not going to happen. I would not set the bar that high. If she can, at home, get on the bike for 30 minutes, great.... Lets not set her up for failure.

 

If her habits with her hubby are dinner out every Saturday night, lets not talk about making her own meals on this day but a way to stay on track, going out.... We need to fit our weight loss program into our daily lives to make it in the long term. Drives my husband crazy but yup when we go out to dinner there is my lo- cal salad dressing that comes out of my purse so I know what I am consuming while still having a fun night out with my sweetie.....

 

Good lord, I thought it was great that she started out with 30 minutes of cardio. Myself I had to work up to that and felt darn good that I had progressed.

 

LOL Brenda, sorry about talking to you in the 3rd person....

 

An eliptical machine is also called a cross trainer... You are standing up with your feet in pads similar to sking.... It is on a incline plane and you can use the buttons to simulate climbing hills, or just flat.... Depending on what you pick, the incline goes up or down. Some also have hand bars that go backwards and forwards so it simulates a fast paced walk. (I hate these) When I began I "walked" flat and as time progressed I moved on the a up and down hill simulation. You can also pick the level of difficulty.

 

You are doing fine..... Have a great night out with the kiddies.

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Smoothdancer,

 

A huge thank you. I was beginning to feel like a failure after that last poster told me I needed to step it up. I can honestly tell you that after 30 minutes on the bike I want to die. Every part of me hurts. I get tears in my eyes but I push on til I am done. So hearing I had to do more almost gave me a heart attack!!! My bike has the arm things that go back and forth....I HATE THAT PART! I remember hearing many times to make your diet a lifestyle change....something that you can live with. Well if I didn't go out on Saturday nights....sometimes with my family and sometimes just with DH, I would seriously feel like I was not living. Now normally before going to monster trucks we would go to someplace like Red Robin and I would chow down on a big huge burger with all kinds of bad for you toppings and don't forget those unlimited fries (i think they regretted that with me...lol)......but tonight I decided to go to this little Italian restaurant we frequent and I will make smart choices such as a salad with balsamic or even a shrimp cocktail and then a chicken dish or I even thought of the linguine with red clam sauce and just eating the clams and a couple bites of the linguine. Red sauce doesn't have much fat and if i limit the carbs part I thought it was good.

 

Thank you for making me feel a bit better. I am really trying to not only lose weight, but to change my life forever. Oh, by the way....my youngest is 5 almost 6, but I also have two much older children. My daughter just turned 19 and my son is 24.

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I think you are off to a good start but you will probably have to up your game a bit. :) The gym will help, if you have time for it I would suggest a weight routine, then keep up with the bike at home and work you way up to more time and increase the intensity as you can.

 

Here is a site I like, it is free to join so you can see the videos and get lots of ideas. http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/fitness/index.jhtml Just close the pop up to see the site.

 

Here is another site that might be helpful. http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx

 

You can do it, slow and steady, each day make good choices and keep upping your game. :D

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Smooth: I respect your opinion but I really disagree with you. Her schedule is no different than I as a single woman who works in a hospital full time, has an office part time, and has a grueling commute at times from Palm Beach to Miami (whcih can be as long as 3 hours if someone peels out on 95), most days its 1.5 hours one way. I had to CARVE out time.

 

It's all in the scheduling. She doesn't have to do it in one hour straight. How about a 1/2 hour aerobic dvd while the kids are napping. Getting up a half hour early to fit in a walk. Working a deal with her husband or swapping babysitting with a neighbor so she can get to the gym. Doing some hard playing outside at the park with her kids. If she's in a geographically desirable area, walking to the grocery store, etc. If she's a stay at home mom, maybe she can organize a mom's group with other women in her situation. If she works, maybe she can power walk during her breaks or lunches.

 

Nobody said it HAS to be an hour straight. I am SURE she can find 4 15 minute periods during the day to do some exercise. All of us can.

 

Brenda: You need to work UP to it..yes you probably felt like you were going to die after a half hour. But it is true, no pain no gain.

 

I really encourage you to check out the website I recommended. The main thing is, it does get easier.

 

e have a mom with young ones trying to get fit and loose weight... Every day cardio for an hour is just not going to happen. I would not set the bar that high. If she can, at home, get on the bike for 30 minutes, great.... Lets not set her up for failure.

 

If her habits with her hubby are dinner out every Saturday night, lets not talk about making her own meals on this day but a way to stay on track, going out.... We need to fit our weight loss program into our daily lives to make it in the long term. Drives my husband crazy but yup when we go out to dinner there is my lo- cal salad dressing that comes out of my purse so I know what I am consuming while still having a fun night out with my sweetie.....

 

Good lord, I thought it was great that she started out with 30 minutes of cardio. Myself I had to work up to that and felt darn good that I had progressed.

 

LOL Brenda, sorry about talking to you in the 3rd person....

 

An eliptical machine is also called a cross trainer... You are standing up with your feet in pads similar to sking.... It is on a incline plane and you can use the buttons to simulate climbing hills, or just flat.... Depending on what you pick, the incline goes up or down. Some also have hand bars that go backwards and forwards so it simulates a fast paced walk. (I hate these) When I began I "walked" flat and as time progressed I moved on the a up and down hill simulation. You can also pick the level of difficulty.

 

You are doing fine..... Have a great night out with the kiddies.

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You are right Gab, we all have our own opinions based on our experiences.... Let me say I sure admire you for inspite of your busy schedule and kids you also fit in a hour of cardio.

 

For me, if someone told me starting out I had to find a hour of cardio I would of felt overwhelmed and not even given it a try. Geez, it is just now that I have worked up to an hour.... Again for me it is too much to try to find this time through out the day and always on my mind, preferring to go to the gym, deposit my time and then move on to my other responsibilities.... To each his/her own.

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You are right Gab, we all have our own opinions based on our experiences.... Let me say I sure admire you for inspite of your busy schedule and kids you also fit in a hour of cardio.

 

For me, if someone told me starting out I had to find a hour of cardio I would of felt overwhelmed and not even given it a try. Geez, it is just now that I have worked up to an hour.... Again for me it is too much to try to find this time through out the day and always on my mind, preferring to go to the gym, deposit my time and then move on to my other responsibilities.... To each his/her own.

 

I think the half hour is great...for now. Long-term, Gathina is right, you do need to do more, but you have to work up to it.

 

Brenda, I think the main problem is that went too deep with the calorie cuts. Not only does it slow your metabolism, but it is difficult to maintain that long-term. Have you looked into something like Weight Watchers? It really teaches you how to eat properly and still adapt to your lifestyle. Good luck!

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Well, seeing she is talking about a lifestyle change, and after all, that's what it should be for all of us..."little baby steps" is in order.

 

I think the best way again is working exercise in so it is a way of life. At my hospital they gave us incentives to use the stairs..my office is on the first floor, my patients on the ninth...it was good for us as employees, but also freed up the elevators for all the wheelchairs!

 

The mind is a big piece of it too. It can be discouraging and overwhelming to think of more exercise, calorie cuts, etc. Ya it sucks and it's painful but it is reality and it has to be accepted.

 

I saw another thread here with people using sparkspeople, that seemed like a neat tool too.

 

 

 

 

 

I think the half hour is great...for now. Long-term, Gathina is right, you do need to do more, but you have to work up to it.

 

Brenda, I think the main problem is that went too deep with the calorie cuts. Not only does it slow your metabolism, but it is difficult to maintain that long-term. Have you looked into something like Weight Watchers? It really teaches you how to eat properly and still adapt to your lifestyle. Good luck!

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I have been on an adventure of trying to make myself healthy for the last few years .... age, gravity, health, kids, husband, work, life, etc, etc etc have made it frustrating, fun, rotten, exciting and exasperating all at the same time. There are weeks when the weight falls off and other weeks where it feels that the scales must be wrong.

I find that if I don't look at the big picture, (on a daily basis) but rather take small steps then the steps turn into leaps and leaps turn into milestone. I guess everyone has to find just the right combination to work for them. "I" use sparkpeople, these boards, DH, my kids, and in many ways had to decide that I was the most important person ... that if I didn't take care of myself, how could I really take care of anyone else. What a noval idea that as a wife, mother, career woman (and what ever hat we are wearing at any one time) .... that we really must come first!!!

I hope you find the spark that will motivate and work. I also find that journaling helps, I write down what I eat and my exercising. I also found that at the beginning that I ended up going to bed earlier (as I couldn't eat), taking kids and dogs for walks helped, I also made it a family change. I had to think of it being a new way of life, not a diet. Someone else on this board gave a good idea of buying an outfit that does not fit at this time, and use it as a motivator to get into.

I wish anyone and everyone that is trying to get healthy all the best in acheiving their own idea of "healthiness" ... I know I will never be a "skinny-minny", but so far I am down over 50# and really want to lose another 16 ... still won't be the 105# person I was when I graduated from high school ... but at 55 I will be healthy and a much more interesting person than I was at 18. Enjoy! Jan

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I realize that when I was talking about calorie burning that I was talking about me (I'm 5'10 and 145), but I usually go on the 19/20 level on the machine at 70 rpm for an hour. But it took me forever to get up to that, because I was always on that cusp of being normal/a little overweight when I was younger, but I realized that running hard not only keeps me slim, it gives me endorphins I can't get from any other legal source (joke:D ).

 

I think she's doing great, but it really is tough at first. When I first started, I got the 8 minute taebo video and did that in the morning, evening, and afternoon. It burns much more than biking, and I loved it. Brenda, maybe you could invest in an assortment of short exercise videos to pop in while the kids are taking a bath or eating lunch etc?

 

Just stay optimistic:) .

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good morning....

 

I've actually tried exercise videos....problem....there is not a spot in my house with enough room. Each room is very tiny and not much room to move around. I got an ab rocket. It came in the mail yesterday. Its from one of those "as seen on tv" commercials. It looks really good. DH will put it together for me today and I will give it a whirl. I am hoping this will help tone the abs. It came with a DVD that includes pilates. Perhaps I won't need much room for this.

 

Well gotta get a move on....my son has a soccer game this morning. Its so cute...a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds running around aimlessly. LOL Have a fabulous day everyone.

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A 5 year old and a 24 year old, you are a brave lady!

 

I have the same issue, not much space in my house to exercise. The one DVD I do at home for my abs is a ball exercise that does not require much room and is very effectice.... I just have to hide the ball from the dog!

 

Someone mentioned the Spark website. If you need help putting together your diet this is the place to go. Some one else mentioned the Fitness website... I am going to check it out today. Just last week I bought the Fitness magazine and it is great... Not too intense, great tips and a little bit of everything.

 

If you can swing it I would certainly buy an ipod. I download music that is fast and gets me going... There is no way I could do a half hour of cardio without listening to music, it takes your mind off counting the minutes and really motivates you.

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Hi. I am 61 and until I was about 45 weighed about 145 pounds. I am 5 ft 7". I then hurt my back and gained weight because I couldn't exercise. I couldn't even walk 50 yards. I got to 159 pounds. So a friend had joined Weightwatchers, so I went too. In 6 months I lost all the extra weight and am now back to my normal weight of 145. I only found it hard the first two weeks. I still drank wine in the evening, but I poured only a half glass instead of a full one and also drank water. You do need to drink water, lots of it. I found WW really did the trick for me.

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Ok..I know I'm the "hardest" poster here, but...how do you have room for an ab rocket? don't those take a lot of space?

 

I like the stew smith website I recommeded earlier because all of the exercises, or at least 99% of them..do NOT require any kind of equipment and the eating plan is very simple to follow as it's a lifestyle change. It's food you already eat.

 

You can do this, you really can. You didn't get fat overnight remember, I bet once you get into the swing of things within 30 days you'll be even more motivated...Menina

 

 

good morning....

 

I've actually tried exercise videos....problem....there is not a spot in my house with enough room. Each room is very tiny and not much room to move around. I got an ab rocket. It came in the mail yesterday. Its from one of those "as seen on tv" commercials. It looks really good. DH will put it together for me today and I will give it a whirl. I am hoping this will help tone the abs. It came with a DVD that includes pilates. Perhaps I won't need much room for this.

 

Well gotta get a move on....my son has a soccer game this morning. Its so cute...a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds running around aimlessly. LOL Have a fabulous day everyone.

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I cant speak for Brenda, I have no idea what an ab rocket is!, but for me I dont have the room to do DVD's that are areobic where you need a long space because you are not staying stationary, while a ball or an ab contraption stays in one place or at least you just need a place the length of your body near a TV. I found a space long enough by my TV for my Ball DVD.

 

Intereting for me though, I have no problem getting up and going to the gym yet I find it very hard to motivate myself to exercise at home... I wonder why that is.

 

BTW, do you know of any ipodcasts that motivate you?

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