Need some advice on passenger etiquette

Hi I know this is going to sound awful but I'm going to try to explain myself so you understand, I go on cruises after working 19hr shifts for 5-8day weeks and if I'm lucky I work 16hr shifts. I go on cruises to relax get away from the world and spend time with my family. I'm actually a very polite,nice ,kind and we'll spoken person that likes making people happy. But cruising is my time to rejuvinate. I speak to passengers and try to be friendly but no no no they have to come and follow me everywhere. I tried hiding out on the upper deck to lay back and relax with my family and they find us and tell all the rest and they all follow us up there and disturb us every two minutes and won't leave us alone. I don't mind chatting g at dinner or at lunch. But the passengers won't leave us alone and I know they're doing it on purpose because even if I tell them I want some me time they sit down next to me and chat until they feel better and then walk away by that time I'm exhausted and have to go somewhere.I just want to lay the hell down and let the sun rays shower me not be spoken to for hours about **** and bitching. Please please a fellow cruise lover help and tell me how to make them leave me alone! !!! They just want to disturb me because they see me sitting playing a game with the kids for the few short hours I see them inbetween activities. Please what do I do?

Welcome to Cruise Critic.

Suggestion -- stop speaking to passengers -- you are encouraging them to come and talk to you.

For meals -- get a table with only your family.

We are retired and also like our own time. We always get a table for 2 -- we tried larger tables years ago -- just didn't work out.

Don't initiate conversations. Smile and give only very short answers. They will get it. If you have the financial means, book a balcony cabin for quiet time.

As previously stated, make sure you have a private table at dinner and go straight to the dining room and make sure the location is private. we have changed tables when we sit too close to others. I am allergic to perfume and if someone sitting next to me takes a bath in it I can get an asthma attack. Never understand why people use it.

in addition, do not initiate conversations or respond to others talking, except with a polite nod. We never had a problem except once on Princess when our table for two was inches away from the table next to us, and the couple next to us couldn't stop talking. We changed tables after two days.

While I will strike up a conversation with anyone, if they tell me they'd rather not talk now, I will accept that! So, SAY something! I can't imagine "following someone around"!!

If you become a rude, crude, socially unacceptable 220 LB bearded biker like me , you would not have this problem. :rolleyes:

.

No one could ever do that to me. I have no reluctance to say something like "this is private time, this is family time, perhaps we'll see you later" Be firm, be assertive. If they are so rude and intrusive as not to get the message, then escalate to "when I said this is private time, I meant it. Go away." Give a "look" that reinforces the message. Now if they persist, call security. Problem solved.

if you don't want to talk to other people maybe a cruise is not for you. maybe rent a house at the beach. I find people are just more apt to start conversations on a ship as everyone is in closer company. whereas one year we rented a beach house on the ocean and didn't speak to another person the whole week.

good luck on your next vacation and I hope you find some quiet time.

"I'm/We're busy right now. Perhaps we can chat at dinner." Repeat as necessary.

Of course a cruise is for you, some like to socialise, some don't.

Never had the problem you describe, but we always make sure we have a table for two and while we will smile and nod, or say good morning, we do not expand the conversation any further. Earphones could be useful if you are on your own, even if you aren't actually listening to music, you can look as if you are! It's a shame when others don't take a hint.

We too go on cruises to relax and enjoy each other's company, with no cooking or housework, ever changing scenery with no driving and only unpacking once. There will be plenty of people on board for the gregarious to socialise with, so I hope your next experience will be more to your taste.

hi here

To be honest I have never encountered that kind of issue to a point where it would seem to be a problem.

I would be perfectly happy to chat with somebody if they were interesting but if they were tiring or rude for instance, I would excuse myself and find another area on the ship to occupy. I can't imagine, but if I perceived any kind of stalking behavior, I would be more direct in my comments without being rude. (eg. Excuse me, I need to be alone now, I have a headache) If you ever find someone who goes beyond what people consider reasonable, you really should go to the security staff. For your safety, you have to remember everyone on the ship is a stranger and while you cannot expect people to be mean spirited, you never know.

We are all there to have a good time, some people can get carried away.

focus on having that great cruise

Never had anyone follow me around

Maybe you are expecting a space all to yourself ??

If you get a balcony cabin people will not follow you there & you will have the relaxation time you are looking for

private table for you & your family

While I've never had anyone follow me (us) around, it is sometimes difficult to get the non-stop talkers to stop talking. It happens on cruise ships and on airplanes. I've found ear buds or small head phones being placed in my ears and "You'll have to excuse me, I have to catch up on the latest embalming techniques symposium" works wonders. Sometimes I don't even need the ear buds, I just turn back to my iPad loaded with mystery novels. . . LOL

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

Lets tiptoe so we do not insult anyone :). The OP has a problem...and it is themself. You cannot reasonably turn socialization on and off light a light bulb. If you initially are friendly, social, and conversational...it is simply unreasonable to expect that those same folks will ignore you on queue. Setting your socialization limits....is one of the more difficult skills for those that only want to socialize at their own convenience. We have spent years (honestly) on ships as cruise passengers and also face the issue expressed by the OP. We have learned to be social...but not too social since this does mean giving up your privacy, It is one reason why we have generally stopped getting involved in Roll Calls, Meet and Greets, and group activities. It is also one reason why we prefer open dining schemes where we can determine when we want to dine at a large table...or perhaps just a 2-top.

So my message to the OP is that "you are the one that sets your socialization limits." If you want to really open the door by being chatty and overly friendly, you can expect that some of those folks will continue to be chatty and friendly....perhaps when you would rather be left along. Once you start down the overly friendly path it is hard to cut off the trail! When I was a young man and bought my home we were quickly invited to a small party (for us) at a neighbors home. The man f the house was more then twice my age and quite wise. He gave me advice which has stayed with me for the past forty years. It is along the lines that its great to friendly with your neighbors....but you do not want to be too friendly or you will be giving up your privacy,

Hank

While I've never had anyone follow me (us) around, it is sometimes difficult to get the non-stop talkers to stop talking. It happens on cruise ships and on airplanes. I've found ear buds or small head phones being placed in my ears and "You'll have to excuse me, I have to catch up on the latest embalming techniques symposium" works wonders. Sometimes I don't even need the ear buds, I just turn back to my iPad loaded with mystery novels. . . LOL

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

Gee Ger_77 you say that like catching up on embalming techniques is a bad thing. Unless we are one mortician to another?

LOL -- the OP kind of sounds like a rock star, whose adoring fans just won't leave him alone! :p The poster who suggested a rented beach house, rather than a cruise, might just be on target, here. As big as cruise ships have become, even these behemoths can be a "small, small, world" at sea. Unless you lock yourself in your cabin for the whole cruise, it's inevitable that you will run into folks, again and again -- sometimes, NOT the folks you wanted to see again. :eek:

When someone is chatting and you would rather they go away, scratch various parts of your body and ask them "Do you know what the symptoms of norovirus are?" ;) Won't work on a health care professional (scratching isn't an actual noro symptom but it triggers an alarm in most not-very-knowledgable people) but I would hope a fellow HCP would be more tactful than to bother people.

Sylvia, RN

OP, from your post I am getting the sense that this has happened to you many times with multiple passengers. Is this the case or was it on one particular cruise with one or two particular passengers ? If it is the former, I would say just don't talk to any body and follow the other suggestions from above posters. Maybe it is something in your manner that you are unaware of which provokes these unwanted intrusions. If it is the latter, just forget it as it probably won't happen again. If it should happen again, sometimes you just have to be a "little" rude and walk away or ignore them. Good Luck!:)

I love to talk and will talk to just about anyone, anywhere at any time. Having said that, someone who follows you around and continues to talk when you show no interest is either extremely dim, or not really interested in your feelings at all.

First question would be: Were you clear in your communications to these people? They might not even GET that you want to be left alone if you don't say it straight out. Some people just don't do subtle.

If you were clear and they still insisted on bothering you then I'm afraid they don't really care. At which point you would be within your rights to walk away with a polite, but firm "I have to go".

Really, I love to talk, but can spot the signs of disinterest from a mile away. It just takes caring about other people and being observant.

"I am so glad to meet you. I sell insurance. Tell me all about your whole life, retirement, medical so I can provide you with some quotes."

LOL -- the OP kind of sounds like a rock star, whose adoring fans just won't leave him alone! :p The poster who suggested a rented beach house, rather than a cruise, might just be on target, here. As big as cruise ships have become, even these behemoths can be a "small, small, world" at sea. Unless you lock yourself in your cabin for the whole cruise, it's inevitable that you will run into folks, again and again -- sometimes, NOT the folks you wanted to see again. :eek:

Yeah, "so adoring" that I suspect a troll here.

"They just want to disturb me because they see me sitting playing a game with the kids..."? Really?

Stopping to speak when someone encounters someone else isn't uncommon. Repeatedly seeking them out, and then not leaving, when there's no reciprocity? Not so much.

(There's also the "19hr shifts for 5-8day weeks". :confused: Maybe OSHA should check on the welfare of these folks...)

First and only post, no reply to clarify or respond to suggestions.

Just a thought...

Hi I know this is going to sound awful but I'm going to try to explain myself so you understand, I go on cruises after working 19hr shifts for 5-8day weeks and if I'm lucky I work 16hr shifts. I go on cruises to relax get away from the world and spend time with my family. I'm actually a very polite,nice ,kind and we'll spoken person that likes making people happy. But cruising is my time to rejuvinate. I speak to passengers and try to be friendly but no no no they have to come and follow me everywhere. I tried hiding out on the upper deck to lay back and relax with my family and they find us and tell all the rest and they all follow us up there and disturb us every two minutes and won't leave us alone. I don't mind chatting g at dinner or at lunch. But the passengers won't leave us alone and I know they're doing it on purpose because even if I tell them I want some me time they sit down next to me and chat until they feel better and then walk away by that time I'm exhausted and have to go somewhere.I just want to lay the hell down and let the sun rays shower me not be spoken to for hours about **** and bitching. Please please a fellow cruise lover help and tell me how to make them leave me alone! !!! They just want to disturb me because they see me sitting playing a game with the kids for the few short hours I see them inbetween activities. Please what do I do?

You might not want to pack your ego. It seems to take up a lot of space.

Just say "hello, I'm a troll. No talk engleesh!"

Just say "hello, I'm a troll. No talk engleesh!"

Good one!

:D

Wow-never had anyone do that to me. I'd be annoyed if people followed me around.