M/F couples at Friends of Dorothy meetings?

I don't know if son in interested in Cruisecritic Roll Calls, but maybe he should (or you) see if there is a Roll call blog on the G&L boards for your cruise. If he's shy this might be a good way for him to connect with a few people before the cruise and it might not be so awkward for him attending the GLBT gatherings alone. If there's isn't one he could start one for your sailing. If he wants you to attending with him by all means do so. I just think it important to let people know your and his situation is a nice and discreet way so there's no embarrassing situation. Who knows he might find a few nice people to hang with during the cruise. Here's the link:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=686

Thanks for the great ideas. I really would prefer to duck out of the picture as quickly as possible. I am more than happy to take up space in the Sanctuary and the Thermals Spa with a good book. That's my speed...

I appreciate everybody's well wishes.

Here is hoping my son meets folk as nice as ya'all!:)

This one is such a sticky wicket. For the 15 years I've been cruising, I've wanted to turn up at FOD but never have. I can lay claim to one of the letters but my cruise buddy can't, and she's afraid of being unwelcome. Is she friendly? Quite.

Here's the thing - I suspect we'd fit in far better at FOD than at any other social mixer. When we travel, we're usually mistaken for mother and daughter when we're not mistaken for a lesbian couple.

See, y'all and the AA folks get this nice little moniker to play with - Friends of Dorothy, Friends of Bill, etc. I have yet to see "Friends of the Singletail" listed in a cruise ship bulletin. :D

...our 12 day Vancouver to Hawaii Carnival Cruise on The Spirit in 2009 had a FOD every single night...:eek:...the first 2 were only about 6 of us,,,:o,,,and it was in the lounge just outside the MDR,,,,,the 3rd night, there were 12 of us,,,one of the guys went to the Activities director and requested our meeting area be moved,,,,they put us in the Oriental Piano Bar,,,,,,,,,,the numbers went to about 30,,, men and women but they didnt mixe too much with us...by the 7th night, and the str8s figured out what was going on, the bar was packed each remaining night...it was EXCELENT! we had a lot of fun and met some GREAT people,,,:D

We are hoping the Oasis Of The Seas will be as FOD friendly in October for our cruise.

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=686

wow I never thought to look there! I have never seen anything on Royal Caribbean in my 12+ cruises on the line. Sad

?.. I do find most people who live "alternative lifestyles" amusing...

I don't consider my lifestyle anything other than how I live my life. It's not alternative to me.

I also don't find the LGBT meetings the place for my straight friends to come along. Some folks use these meetings as a place to connect with gay people as they don't have the opportunity elsewhere. If you meet some people you want to hang with then introduce them to the rest of your group someplace else.

Now with that said, the original poster would be welcome as that's a different circumstance.

Hi Shepp, I'm guessing you meant amusing as in odd? I am het and I do find most people who live "alternative lifestyles" amusing. Or maybe I just find almost everyone who doesn't so .:)

If you find people who live an alternate lifestyle amusing, than what are you doing on this board. I find nothing amusing about my partner and I living the gay lifestyle. In fact, I will tell you what is amusing; all of the right winged bigots who try to hide behind their marriages which are a lie.

...the only "Alternative Lifestyle" thing about us is , we are both retired,,,:D

Going alone sailing tomorrow anyone can hit me up to have some company??

yes.by all means go.hardly anyone shows up anyway,to these things.

I guess that could be the same as a non-drinker who has never drank going to a "Friends of Bill Meeting". One of my pet peeves in the city I live in are all of the straight girls who prefer to go to the gay clubs. Furthermore, I do not support straight clubs that have one gay night a week.

Yeah, I had two different friends who got irritated, if not upset, whenever we were out having drinks/fun and there were heterosexual women who dared enter the bar.

I'm not friends with those guys any longer. Gay, straight, black, white, male, female, etc... I don't allow any bigots in my life. Bigots are the very reason why minorities feel compartmentalized.

To the OP, come, enjoy, have fun, share laughs, have a drink or three! If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, then they are no better than those they resent.

Yeah, I had two different friends who got irritated, if not upset, whenever we were out having drinks/fun and there were heterosexual women who dared enter the bar.

 

I'm not friends with those guys any longer. Gay, straight, black, white, male, female, etc... I don't allow any bigots in my life. Bigots are the very reason why minorities feel compartmentalized.

 

To the OP, come, enjoy, have fun, share laughs, have a drink or three! If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, then they are no better than those they resent.

I'm sorry, but I think you don't actually get the "bigot" thing.

I was taught very long ago by feminist women that they sometimes felt the need for women-only space, but some men barged right in...because their sometimes-unconscious male hegemony made them feel they had a right to go anywhere they wanted to. That doesn't mean that the women were anti-male bigots. It meant that the men who presumed to invade their space were arrogant jerks.

If a group of cancer survivors, or elderly Jews, or - gasp - queer people choose to have a meeting restricted to them, it's silly to assume it's because of bigotry. (And yes, because of the history of racism, a whites-only meeting has a whole other overtone than an Asian-only meeting, but that a whole 'nother big subject.)

Bars are bars, of course. Public accommodations can't keep out (insert term for straight women who pursue gay men here). But shipboard LGBT meetings are social meetings for a specific group of people, not exercises in bigotry.

So perhaps you can tell me why there should be queer meetings if they welcome straights as well? What would make them any different from the rest of the onboard experience?

If you find people who live an alternate lifestyle amusing, than what are you doing on this board. I find nothing amusing about my partner and I living the gay lifestyle. In fact, I will tell you what is amusing; all of the right winged bigots who try to hide behind their marriages which are a lie.

Guys, I think she was using a bit of humor here. Let's face it a lot of straight people find us amusing. Not because we're strange, but in the fact we KNOW how to have a good time. A straight friend once asked why women frequently love us gay folk..Well my response was "When was the last time you got her flowers for no reason?Surprised her with dinner(or took her out), again for no reason. Complimented her on how nice she looks. Cuddled on the couch, instead of the usual wham bam thank you, 'mam?(which usually lasts 5 min.)" I guess we are more in tune on how to treat others. I'll agree that not everyone in our community is that way, but a lot of the ones who are, are noticed by others.

I'm sorry, but I think you don't actually get the "bigot" thing.

 

I was taught very long ago by feminist women that they sometimes felt the need for women-only space, but some men barged right in...because their sometimes-unconscious male hegemony made them feel they had a right to go anywhere they wanted to. That doesn't mean that the women were anti-male bigots. It meant that the men who presumed to invade their space were arrogant jerks.

 

If a group of cancer survivors, or elderly Jews, or - gasp - queer people choose to have a meeting restricted to them, it's silly to assume it's because of bigotry. (And yes, because of the history of racism, a whites-only meeting has a whole other overtone than an Asian-only meeting, but that a whole 'nother big subject.)

 

Bars are bars, of course. Public accommodations can't keep out (insert term for straight women who pursue gay men here). But shipboard LGBT meetings are social meetings for a specific group of people, not exercises in bigotry.

 

So perhaps you can tell me why there should be queer meetings if they welcome straights as well? What would make them any different from the rest of the onboard experience?

I entirely do understand the whole "bigot" thing.

Per Merriam-Webster: big·ot - : a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

I stand by what I said 110%. I don't subscribe to the us vs. them attitude and don't spend any amount of time with those that do. On the occasions that my partner and I would attend the FOD gatherings, I'll still bring along my straight friends and family should they want to join us.

I entirely do understand the whole "bigot" thing.

 

Per Merriam-Webster: big·ot - : a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

 

I stand by what I said 110%. I don't subscribe to the us vs. them attitude and don't spend any amount of time with those that do. On the occasions that my partner and I would attend the FOD gatherings, I'll still bring along my straight friends and family should they want to join us.

I would agree with the other guy. He is saying that when he goes to a GLBT happy hour that he prefers the people there to be GLBT. How does that definition of bigot apply here? I also don’t think it has anything to do with “us vs. them”. It’s a happy hour, not a political strategy session.

How do you feel about them scheduling the meeting in the first place? You mentioned in another post that bigots are responsible for making minorities feel “compartmentalized.” It seems to me that the existence of a fod meeting also compartmentalizes people.

I would be ok with a bi bringing their partner. However, I do think there is a certain point where the aim of GLBT happy hour gets lost. If I attended one and found that 50% of the people attending were straight women, I would probably choose not to attend again.

Why does this only happen with GLBT meetings? I never see any teenagers angry they were turned away by the Red Hats, drinkers wanting to crash the AA meeting, married couples wanting to play the singles matching games….

I'm sorry, but I think you don't actually get the "bigot" thing.

 

I was taught very long ago by feminist women that they sometimes felt the need for women-only space, but some men barged right in...because their sometimes-unconscious male hegemony made them feel they had a right to go anywhere they wanted to. That doesn't mean that the women were anti-male bigots. It meant that the men who presumed to invade their space were arrogant jerks.

 

If a group of cancer survivors, or elderly Jews, or - gasp - queer people choose to have a meeting restricted to them, it's silly to assume it's because of bigotry. (And yes, because of the history of racism, a whites-only meeting has a whole other overtone than an Asian-only meeting, but that a whole 'nother big subject.)

 

Bars are bars, of course. Public accommodations can't keep out (insert term for straight women who pursue gay men here). But shipboard LGBT meetings are social meetings for a specific group of people, not exercises in bigotry.

 

So perhaps you can tell me why there should be queer meetings if they welcome straights as well? What would make them any different from the rest of the onboard experience?

While most LGBT think it refers to the character of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz played by a young Julie Garland, it actually refers to Dorothy Bainbridge, a lesbian chanteuse whose exploits with her "manager" and the King of Denmark could be quite risqué. Her apartment in Manhattan was a gathering site for not only gay bisexual, lesbian and a tranvestite or two, but also progressive jazz musicians and their admirers. So don't worry about going to a scheduled FOD meeting whatever your sexual orientation or relationship stats as long as you are comfortable around free spirited people. It's the unannounced meetings that you need good "gaydar" to find that you probably should avoid.

get togethers were held every evening at 10 pm, and it appeared everyone had a awesome time.

While most LGBT think it refers to the character of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz played by a young Julie Garland, it actually refers to Dorothy Bainbridge, a lesbian chanteuse whose exploits with her "manager" and the King of Denmark could be quite risqué. Her apartment in Manhattan was a gathering site for not only gay bisexual, lesbian and a tranvestite or two, but also progressive jazz musicians and their admirers. So don't worry about going to a scheduled FOD meeting whatever your sexual orientation or relationship stats as long as you are comfortable around free spirited people. It's the unannounced meetings that you need good "gaydar" to find that you probably should avoid.

Wow. This thread has risen from the grave like a queer zombie.

OK, I think I'm fairly well-versed on queer history (hell, even published a book on aspects of it) but I have never, ever heard of Dorothy Bainbridge. And apparently The Google hasn't either. I never, whenever I researched the term, ran across a single reference to her. I'm not saying she didn't exist, but it's hard to imagine someone so obscure would have such an etymological influence. I have heard that the term's inspiration was the much more famous Dorothy Parker, who certainly did have some gay pals. And there is a specific reference in an Oz book to Dorothy's "queer friends." But whoever we're talking about, that doesn't logically lead to your conclusion that LGBTQ meetings shouldn't be for LGBTQ people.

I am curious whether you have any cite to back up your story.

While most LGBT think it refers to the character of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz played by a young Julie Garland, it actually refers to Dorothy Bainbridge, a lesbian chanteuse whose exploits with her "manager" and the King of Denmark could be quite risqué. Her apartment in Manhattan was a gathering site for not only gay bisexual, lesbian and a tranvestite or two, but also progressive jazz musicians and their admirers. So don't worry about going to a scheduled FOD meeting whatever your sexual orientation or relationship stats as long as you are comfortable around free spirited people. It's the unannounced meetings that you need good "gaydar" to find that you probably should avoid.

ADDENDUM: By searching your other posts, I found out you meant Dorothy Dandridge, which I kinda suspected (as per "Julie Garland"). Problem, though: Dandridge was, AFAIK, pretty damn hetero and if, indeed, the term "FOD" was used, as you claimed, in the 1930s, it's relevant to note that she was born in 1922. So she was hosting swinging parties when she was what, fifteen? In any case, she had relocated to Hollywood by 1930, so those New York parties presumably took place before she was nine. Dandridge's mother was, in fact, queer, but then it would be "Friends of Ruby," no?

My partner and I met our best "couple" friends at a Friends of Dorothy on HAL. Our gurlfriend loves gay men and her husband is very comfortable in any group. They were welcomed and became a big part of our group. We're cruising again with them in April on a Transatlantic cruise. They've organized it and it's a mix of both LGBTQ people they've met at FOD parties (they cruise of 3-4 cruises a year) and straight people.

Anyone heading to Alaska on the Oosterdam July 2nd?

Anyone heading to Alaska on the Oosterdam July 2nd?

Congratulations on your first post. There is a separate section here (as well as on the bigger Cruise Critic site) for "roll calls". Here is a link http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=686 for GLBTQ roll calls. You can search there for your cruise.