Eating single. What would you do?

We are always welcoming and pleasant to our table companions, be it for one meal or an entire cruise. I cannot imagine anyone being so gauche as to be less than hospitable, in most instances. (There was one table mate for the Mariner Embarkation lunch that if i EVER EVER have to share a meal with again, I will jump overboard, but that was definitely a "one off". )

 

DH and I have developed a close friendship with a "solo" who was our dinner companion for a cruise. We remain in regular contact, and any time I am in her city we get together.

 

 

 

So glad you mentioned that, Lizzie, as I know that some people have an unnecessary concern that their "table manners" are inadequate. IMHO not worth worrying about at all. The least of the things necessary to an enjoyable dinner experience IMHO. Seriously, who cares if you use the wrong fork? Who is even going to notice, right?

Actually I don't even understand the purpose of or need for asking whether a solo would be welcomed at a table. Why wouldn't a solo be as welcome as a couple? The days of women being afraid to travel alone or looked at strangely for doing so, are long over and no one thinks anything of it. A single pax need not even give a reason for doing so. If people are at a table larger than for 2 they have requested to have other pax at their table, so why would they reject anyone? A solo is like any other person except with a couple there is double the chance of their not being compatible. :confused:

THIS is why I ask.. You may not be able to imagine it but you learn something new every day. That is part of what travel is all about.

DH and I were sailing Zaandam (or maybe it was Volendam). We were seated at a table for four with two empty seats. There was a table for 6 beside us and the Maitre d' (as he was called at the time) approached that table escorting a solo woman. He introduced her to the two couples seated there, we couldn't help but hear the conversation and he explained she was the wife of a gentleman who had been medi-evcuaed off the ship that morning. She had not been permitted to go with him and would be aboard for that day and the next until we reached port. Maitre d' insisted she come to dinner and he told her he would see she was taken care of.

The response the two charming couples gave was "we are on vacation and don't need to have someone not in a happy mood sitting with us". We were horrified and the Maitre d' was speechless they would not welcome her to sit in the vacant chair.

My DH immediately stood, approached the Maitre d' and said something along the lines of kindly ask the lady if she would care to join us. It would be our pleasure for her to dine at our table. He was appreciative, she accepted the invitation and we found her to be one of the most fascinating people we have met in our travels.

Her DH was a Colonel in the U.S. Army. He suffered a heart attack that morning but was still alive and receiving care and she had spoken with him several times. The ship was wonderful assisting her in every possible way including free telephone calls.

We kept her spirits up, she shared some fascinating stories and we were so appreciative that we were able to meet and get to know her. My DH was particularly pleased as her husband was doing work similar to what my DH did when in the U.S. Army a number of years prior. I was interested in some of her fun stories as I had been the young Officer's wife traveling with him. :)

That's enough details for me to have gotten the point across.

So, though someone may not be able to imagine why the question is necessary, hope you got my point. There are all sorts in this world and no one says you have to be like them all or be like them all. Some may not wish to meet you or like you. It happens.

We stayed in touch with this woman for several years. She reached her DH after several flight connections and lots of angst but in the end, he did not survive and passed in the hospital but she did get to him before he died.

Sail,

What a poignant memory! Thanks for sharing it.

For the two couples mentioned, Dante's Purgatorio probably has a ring suitable for them!

I am appalled that the ship inflicted that on that poor woman, and on the table of four. IMHO an officer should have been assigned to keep her company through dinner.

As for the two couples at the other table, we have no idea what personal burdens THEY may have had at the time, regardless of what they said to the Maitre D'.

I know it seems to be expecting a lot to think simple decency could be exercised. The lady was not dragged in chains from her cabin. She agreed to the Maitre d's plan and was perfectly satisfied with it. This was a career military officer's wife and very able to take care of herself. She merely thought she would be met with a minimum in civility.

What they said to the Maitre d' is the point. :rolleyes:

The question was: Would the poster welcome a solo to dine at her table?

In the incident I related, the answer was No..

THIS is why I ask.. You may not be able to imagine it but you learn something new every day. That is part of what travel is all about.

 

 

DH and I were sailing Zaandam (or maybe it was Volendam). We were seated at a table for four with two empty seats. There was a table for 6 beside us and the Maitre d' (as he was called at the time) approached that table escorting a solo woman. He introduced her to the two couples seated there, we couldn't help but hear the conversation and he explained she was the wife of a gentleman who had been medi-evcuaed off the ship that morning. She had not been permitted to go with him and would be aboard for that day and the next until we reached port. Maitre d' insisted she come to dinner and he told her he would see she was taken care of.

 

The response the two charming couples gave was "we are on vacation and don't need to have someone not in a happy mood sitting with us". We were horrified and the Maitre d' was speechless they would not welcome her to sit in the vacant chair.

 

My DH immediately stood, approached the Maitre d' and said something along the lines of kindly ask the lady if she would care to join us. It would be our pleasure for her to dine at our table. He was appreciative, she accepted the invitation and we found her to be one of the most fascinating people we have met in our travels.

 

Her DH was a Colonel in the U.S. Army. He suffered a heart attack that morning but was still alive and receiving care and she had spoken with him several times. The ship was wonderful assisting her in every possible way including free telephone calls.

 

We kept her spirits up, she shared some fascinating stories and we were so appreciative that we were able to meet and get to know her. My DH was particularly pleased as her husband was doing work similar to what my DH did when in the U.S. Army a number of years prior. I was interested in some of her fun stories as I had been the young Officer's wife traveling with him. :)

 

That's enough details for me to have gotten the point across.

 

So, though someone may not be able to imagine why the question is necessary, hope you got my point. There are all sorts in this world and no one says you have to be like them all or be like them all. Some may not wish to meet you or like you. It happens.

 

 

We stayed in touch with this woman for several years. She reached her DH after several flight connections and lots of angst but in the end, he did not survive and passed in the hospital but she did get to him before he died.

 

Your DH sounds like he was a very nice person.

...Please, don't take a book to "occupy you" when you are in a lounge or dining room as a solo. I have seen this done by others and it is a major turn-off signal to others, as far as I am concerned, that any personal interaction is not wanted.

But, sometimes that's the precise signal we wish to send, that personal interaction isn't wanted. If I have my nose in a book, that means "leave me alone." If my head's up and I'm looking about, that means "you may approach." It's nothing personal, sometimes we just want to be left alone.

Your DH sounds like he was a very nice person.

Your DH sounds like he was a very nice person.

. I was thinking the same thing.:(

He was very nice indeed. I had the pleasure to meet him.

One size doesn't fit all. I've found a lot depends on my mood on that particular day, and is impossible to predict. I should mention I have absolutely no problem being alone, to eat or to do anything else. Some nights I might hang out in the Lido by myself, some nights I'll eat in the MDR alone, some nights (a little rarer) I'll choose to eat with others at a large table. I'll resist any attempt to seat me with just one couple or one other solo diner. I've found that to be awkward, but YMMV. The OP has the right idea: try different ways of eating/dining and see what's most comfortable. Chances are it won't be the same thing all the time.

Your DH sounds like he was a very nice person.

. I was thinking the same thing.:(

Kazu

He was very nice indeed. I had the pleasure to meet him.

Thank you.

Yes, he was a very kind, good, honorable man and deeply missed by many.

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He was very nice indeed. I had the pleasure to meet him.

The cruise where he and I met you and Jose was the first we started to realize he was developing a very serious illness. Needless to say, it was very difficult for both of us.

I'm a "solo" and have traveled solo for years (decades, in fact)! I embark on Thursday on my third cruise in three years with one of the three married couples whom I met, purely by chance, because I just happened to be assigned to their six-top fixed seating table in 2011. I have made friends in that situation with couples and other singles. The overwhelming majority of people I've met are gracious and pleasant. I have never been made to feel like a "bump on a log." And, I take a single cabin, regardless of the cost.

That is wonderful! DH and I always invite along the solo with whom we have developed the friendship. She, lucky woman, has a much more active cruising schedule that we do, so we have not yet been able to cruise together again. She is away a lot through the year on cruises.

After this year's cruise with friends, I will be going solo to Alaska next year. Even if that means in the tiniest, noisiest cabin on the ship ;)

Actually I don't even understand the purpose of or need for asking whether a solo would be welcomed at a table. Why wouldn't a solo be as welcome as a couple? The days of women being afraid to travel alone or looked at strangely for doing so, are long over and no one thinks anything of it. <snip>

I wish that were in fact the way of it. I frequently travel solo, both on cruises and other types of trips, and many people make unsolicited comments about my leaving my DH at home. Some of them are, frankly, jealous that they feel they can't leave their spouses/kids at home, and others are simply appalled that I'd even consider such a thing. On the other hand, when he takes a fishing trip with the guys, no one cares that I'm left alone. :rolleyes:

I'm going solo on the Regal Princess in a few weeks, and I've signed up for traditional dining, table for 6. I figure if my tablemates and I aren't compatible for some reason, I'll change to anytime or just go to the buffet.

I travel solo most of the time.... and even when traveling with friends, I prefer my own cabin as I like to do what I want and when I want to do it. I have had both fixed and open dining. I have never found that anyone ever tried to get me to seat with just one other person on open dining .... usually I was placed at a table for 6 or 8 and over time some of those people were people I had sat with before. Sometimes we arrange to eat together at other times . Fixed seating was also fine and if there are problems, you simply ask for a table change. No biggie. I enjoy talking to and listening to the people at dinner as often during the day I am at lectures, reading, computer classes, whatever..... and have little chance for conversation. I have met some people I prefer not to dine with again.... but that happens anywhere. I grin, bear it and avoid.....Sometimes it just makes the cruise interesting.

Susan

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts on solo dining. I'm solo cruising for the first time in January and the only thing I'm worried about is sitting by myself at meal times, all sad and pathetic, with only a book for company. You've inspired me to step up and volunteer to sit with others.

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts on solo dining. I'm solo cruising for the first time in January and the only thing I'm worried about is sitting by myself at meal times, all sad and pathetic, with only a book for company. You've inspired me to step up and volunteer to sit with others.

Welcome to CC, and I am so happy you've been encouraged by this thread :D

But, sometimes that's the precise signal we wish to send, that personal interaction isn't wanted. If I have my nose in a book, that means "leave me alone." If my head's up and I'm looking about, that means "you may approach." It's nothing personal, sometimes we just want to be left alone.

Ah yes. As an introvert this is spot on. For an introvert, socializing can be daunting and exhausting. I want to be around people, but not necessary make small talk and interact. I love to sit and read out on deck or in one of the lounges, enjoying a glass of wine. We're not being rude....just not up for company every time we leave our cabins.

I had no qualms about eating alone in the Main Dining Room on my last cruise solo. I was seated at large tables with many different people each night and made many friends. But I think next cruise I'm going to try the asking for a two topper to have some alone time in the Main Dinning room. I wasn't sure if I would be hogging one of the coveted two toppers. But I suppose if I'm paying double the fare I'm entitled. teehee

I wanted to add that I visited both the Canaletto and the Pinnacle solo and there were absolutely no problems. At both venues I sat alone at a two topper and the staff was always incredibly friendly and gracious.

Ah yes. As an introvert this is spot on. For an introvert, socializing can be daunting and exhausting. I want to be around people, but not necessary make small talk and interact. I love to sit and read out on deck or in one of the lounges, enjoying a glass of wine. We're not being rude....just not up for company every time we leave our cabins.

 

I had no qualms about eating alone in the Main Dining Room on my last cruise solo. I was seated at large tables with many different people each night and made many friends. But I think next cruise I'm going to try the asking for a two topper to have some alone time in the Main Dinning room. I wasn't sure if I would be hogging one of the coveted two toppers. But I suppose if I'm paying double the fare I'm entitled. teehee

 

I wanted to add that I visited both the Canaletto and the Pinnacle solo and there were absolutely no problems. At both venues I sat alone at a two topper and the staff was always incredibly friendly and gracious.

I cruise solo and also enjoy eating alone at a two topper in both Pinnacle and MDR. I have finally gotten over the original awkwardness of the experience. On my last cruise, I was bringing a sandwich from the Lido to my cabin for lunch on my balcony. A woman in the elevator looked at my plate and said, "Oh, is your husband not feeling well?" I smiled and said "I don't have a husband............and just love not having one.":D Woman closed her mouth and stared straight ahead.

I have no desire to vacation alone...

That's too bad for you. It's wonderful.

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts on solo dining. I'm solo cruising for the first time in January and the only thing I'm worried about is sitting by myself at meal times, all sad and pathetic, with only a book for company. You've inspired me to step up and volunteer to sit with others.

I travel solo sometimes and I travel with people sometimes. Honestly, I've grown to love this time for myself. In the beginning I did feel a little awkward dining alone. I don't really like to sit in the MDR for 2 hours dinner even with friends, but I will do it for some meals. When eating alone in the buffet I'll bring a book. When going to the MDR I don't bring a book and I'm most always seated with others. Cruisers are always warm and welcoming. Most are interested in your choice to cruise solo. Many other women are often impressed and express that they wish they could do it. People who don't want to socialize normally ask for small tables to themselves. Honestly, I'm not particularly social and am happy alone, but I've met some really wonderful people who I still keep in touch with. Now, I don't think twice about it. Just go and have fun.

I am sure I am the odd duck here but I would prefer to eat alone. Having spent a fair amount of time without a DH, I found I like being alone. I would have no problem walking into the dining room and asking for a table for one.

The few times when DH and I were seated with others, neither of us enjoyed it. I guess I am lucky that I found someone who is as much of a loner as I am.