Kids Left Unsupervised on a Cruiseship

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

I think that you know the answer to this. dExh and you need to have a nice friendly chat prior to the next time he has time with your DD's. Come to think of it I would have had this discussion prior to the cruise in the first place. Was this subject not discussed?

Welcome to cruisecritic:)

There's not a lot of "wandering" to be done on cruiseships. Generally people, including kids, go from place to place with a purpose. Were the girls all together? Where were they? Were your daughters left alone or where they with the 12 year old? There are lots of details missing from your post. It is not uncommon for a 12 year old, especially a girl, to be shepherding younger kids from place to place around a ship.

People seem to think this is OK

would they allow their kids to wander unsupervised in a strange city:confused:

Bad people take cruises as well

There aren't many places to wander. Pool deck, buffet, kids club.

The 12 year old can sign the younger girls in and out of the kids club, and they likely spent time there, or mixing with the kids in the program who are out and about. Mine, at 9 and 11, chose to join the kids club for some activities, but not all. Sometimes they went to the room, or for pizza/ice cream, walked around the deck, or joined me in the shade with a book.

Unsupervised at the pizza buffet is quite different than unsupervised wandering the city. And you don't know how often they checked in with the adults. Ask your daughters what they did while without the adults ~ maybe they went to get pizza as a group instead of having dinner in the MDR.

As long as they were together, in a group, the risk is pretty low. Not without risk, but certainly less so.

I have no problem with kids coming and going to specific places for specific purposes....Random wandering....nope..not for ANY age!! The whole purpose of raising kids is to help them be independent.....and that's how you do it! You give kids freedom of sorts....you let them experiment with their own common sense, and allow mistakes while they are still somewhat inconsequential....it's how a person learns to be a responsible adult. That's the goal of raising kids,. Keeping a kid in a bubble and out of trouble 100% of the time leads to the "entitled" adult.

http://blog.lipcon.com/category/cruise-line-crimes/cruise-ship-rape-sexual-assault

What if the girls were separated accidentally and one got lost; were they instructed on what to do? That is a lot of responsibility for a 12 year old.

I have no problem with kids coming and going to specific places for specific purposes....Random wandering....nope..not for ANY age!! The whole purpose of raising kids is to help them be independent.....and that's how you do it! You give kids freedom of sorts....you let them experiment with their own common sense, and allow mistakes while they are still somewhat inconsequential....it's how a person learns to be a responsible adult. That's the goal of raising kids,. Keeping a kid in a bubble and out of trouble 100% of the time leads to the "entitled" adult.

Yup what you said.

On the Rhapsody of the Seas a few years ago we got used to seeing 2 children going to the Buffet for afternoon tea. The boy was about 8 or 9 and his sister (?) about 6. He would find a table, make sure she was seated and would then go and get a tray of drinks and cake. The would eat quietly and then disappear. We never did find out who they were and never saw them with any adults. Someone said that they thought their parents were crew members, but I don't know. However their behaviour was impeccable, probably better than some adults!

I think it is up to parents to decide whether or not their children are old enough/mature enough to go places alone on a cruise ship. I had no problem allowing my SS go from the teen center to the cabin alone but I would not be allowing my 10 y/o SS wander around alone without his brother or my husband while on our upcoming cruise. Not b/c he is only 10 but because I do not trust his judgement.

I'm just going to give my opinion.

I'm thinking you're trying to make much ado about nothing.

I'm going by the terms ex husband and current wife. My current wife has one of those. Ex husband, that is. She used to get upset just because she didn't like his current girlfriend at the time.

I had to sit her down down and ask her a couple of questions and make a couple of statements.

1. Just because you don't want him anymore, doesn't mean someone else doesn't.

2. In your heart of hearts, do you really think that he would intentionaly put his children in harms way?

3. Do you really think that your love is more than his love of the children?

It is my impression that you are looking for information that he is a horrible parent and allowed his children to be placed in a dangerous situation.

I would have to surmis that he would better know the maturity level and their "street wise" dispositions better than I.

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

Too little dirty laundry to help much and I am not a child custody attorney but I did play with one at a conference. I thought you had to sign authorization for children to leave the country....in your research before the cruise and while you were talking to the ex about this - did you look at the cruise line to see if there were restrictions for children? did you talk to the ex and say - now you know little Susie is much more mature at 7 than little Betty is at 9, so please do not let them wander away.

have you had a gentle talk with your daughters after they came home [you know the one where you are not ripping their dad to shreds!!] and ask "them" about the cruise and what they did without putting them on the defensive? Communication is so important.

Remember you choose to make children with that man and you are thus tied to him for as long as your children and grandchildren live. The poster previous to me had some very good questions and comments.

I don't know the current rules, but a 12 yo used to be allow to fly without an adult, and could be the responsible person for a younger child

I'm just going to give my opinion.

 

I'm thinking you're trying to make much ado about nothing.

I'm going by the terms ex husband and current wife. My current wife has one of those. Ex husband, that is. She used to get upset just because she didn't like his current girlfriend at the time.

I had to sit her down down and ask her a couple of questions and make a couple of statements.

 

1. Just because you don't want him anymore, doesn't mean someone else doesn't.

2. In your heart of hearts, do you really think that he would intentionaly put his children in harms way?

3. Do you really think that your love is more than his love of the children?

 

It is my impression that you are looking for information that he is a horrible parent and allowed his children to be placed in a dangerous situation.

I would have to surmis that he would better know the maturity level and their "street wise" dispositions better than I.

Perfectly stated.

On our last cruise my kids were 12, 10 and 10. They were allowed to "wander" together as a group along with their cousins so it was a group of 5 or 6 kids. The rules were to stay together and they did. The "wandering" consisted of going the sports deck, to get ice cream or whatever.

http://blog.lipcon.com/category/cruise-line-crimes/cruise-ship-rape-sexual-assault

 

What if the girls were separated accidentally and one got lost; were they instructed on what to do? That is a lot of responsibility for a 12 year old.

I wouldn't place any reliability at all in that website. It's written by someone who thinks that sexual assault on cruise ships is more common than petty theft on cruise ships - he's clearly an idiot. (Maybe a financially successful idiot, since he appears to do very nicely thank you out of sexual assualts on cruise ships, but still an idiot.)

To the OP, children are perfectly capable of being alone at age 7. I walked to school alone at age 4, through a busy town, as did my brothers and sister. (And home for dinner.) And the typical child molester likes two things - one, an escape route, and two, a secure place to hide the child. Neither of which are available on a ship. It's also virtually impossible to kidnap two children single-handedly, so as long as your two aren't idiots, they'd be just about as safe as they would be locked in their bedroom at home.

There are so many factors not given that I'm not going to land on one side or the other. I have one child who is weeks away from turning 13, but is still immature and easily distracted. I don't let him wander around a ship. However, we have a cruise in November, and he will then be in the teen group. I'm not sure how we're going to tackle this cruise because it will be different. Now, if we were ale to afford his best friends to go with us, I would be fine with the 3 of them roaming together.

Having cruised since I was a child I would say from age 11 I was allowed to wander on my own. I am also an only child so most if the time was just me. When I was 11 we went with some family friends and their 8 yr old was allowed to be with two 11 year olds. It is something I often see on ships and sometimes I think the children act responsible enough to be alone and sometimes not. I loved exploring on my own and then telling my parents my adventures from the last hour. (Usually hot chocolate and my Walkman!). If they did just go to get ice cream while everyone was by the pool deck then I see no harm it is good to build some independence. Talk to your children and ask what they would do. To them having the freedom to go get ice cream alone could be a big deal and so they remember that above all the time they spent with the adults.

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two, a secure place to hide the child. Neither of which are available on a ship. It's also virtually impossible to kidnap two children single-handedly, so as long as your two aren't idiots, they'd be just about as safe as they would be locked in their bedroom at home.

I totally disagree . A cruise ship is a perfect place for grabbing a child & taking them or talking them into going to his cabin . When I see children wandering alone on cruise ships I shudder thinking of what could happen to them . There are plenty of sickos just ready to pounce on a young child .

I totally disagree . A cruise ship is a perfect place for grabbing a child & taking them or talking them into going to his cabin . When I see children wandering alone on cruise ships I shudder thinking of what could happen to them . There are plenty of sickos just ready to pounce on a young child .

There are always so many people on a ship it would be unlikely that someone wouldn't spot a child being 'grabbed'

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So what some are saying as long as the children are in a group it is fine if they wander the ship freely :eek:

I have seen many of these groups running around the ship creating a nuisance

When they are out of your sight how do you know what they are getting up to

even the most angelic child can be a terror with company ;)

as for those that never had a problem as a child growing up ..well times are changing just watch the news

There are always so many people on a ship it would be unlikely that someone wouldn't spot a child being 'grabbed'

 

How many times have you seen a child pulling away from his/her parent with wailing & tears ...you just trust it is their parent

Unless you know the child or the parent ..it could be anyone dragging the child to a cabin

IMO...you should be worried. Not everyone is a "nice" person regardless if they are crew or a passenger. Any child no matter the age is at risk for something bad to happen. A 12 year old most likely isn't capable of keeping track of three other children at all times as their attention would be wandering all over the place with all of the things to look at, see and do. I would be upset.... it only takes a minute for something bad to happen.

I totally disagree . A cruise ship is a perfect place for grabbing a child & taking them or talking them into going to his cabin . When I see children wandering alone on cruise ships I shudder thinking of what could happen to them . There are plenty of sickos just ready to pounce on a young child .

No, I don't see it. Where would be a better place to hide a child - your own house with many rooms, thick walls, and a locked door for which you hold the only key - or a single room with very thin walls and a number of strangers who not only have a key but also have a duty to come in several times a day?

Cruise is over, everything is OK. First post and no return so far. Might be trying to jam up the ex??? If this wasn't discussed when you gave the ex permission to take the kids, maybe worth a discussion next time?

A cruise is no more dangerous or safe than any other location that has people around, whether its the street in front of the house, a mall or a cruise ship.

So what some are saying as long as the children are in a group it is fine if they wander the ship freely :eek:

I have seen many of these groups running around the ship creating a nuisance

 

When they are out of your sight how do you know what they are getting up to

even the most angelic child can be a terror with company ;)

 

as for those that never had a problem as a child growing up ..well times are changing just watch the news

Times aren't changing...the news is just making it more visible so you think it is.