First cruise, solo or take daughter? Ugh..

I've decided it's time to take my first cruise (late in the game), but I'm excited and ready!

40's divorced/not in a relationship, thought about taking my 15 year old daughter but she's not very interested. She's become introverted and doesn't really like swimming/water any more. I have to drag her pretty much everywhere we go while at home; I just don't want to feel that way on my on my first cruise. I feel bad here! Not selfish at all, but this would be a big deal for me! I loved travelling with her as a child and watching her experience new things. But she's at that age where everything seems a bother. Help moms or pops..

In considering solo, I mainly want to get away, relax, and experience a cruise for the first time. I'm researching 4-5 day cruises to Cozumel and one other stop, Grand Cayman most likely. I want to snorkel for the first time and see some culture. Sure I'd love to meet someone, but it's mainly about getting away.

Welcome to Cruise Critic .. she's not very interested???

In terms of lounging, walking around at port, swimming or snorkeling, no. She's in to anime and art, loves to draw and browse the internet for other artwork from teen artists. I see there are teen activities, but I'm not sure how she'd like them. I'd feel bad if we couldn't find common ground, meaning she'd NOT be in to the sun and water stuff. Stuck..

Do you have a friend that might like to join you?

I would go by myself the first time to see if you really like it. Being able to do what you want, when you want and not having to worry about another person having a good or bad time is great. Not to mention having the cabin all to yourself.

Take a lot of pictures and show her what she missed and maybe next time she'll want to go.

she's 15..everything is lame and boring heheheh

that being said.. there is a BUTT TON of good, quality and culturally relevant art in ports.

not to mention the on board art used in decor( I am not talking the prints and other 'art' sold in the art auctions)

she could easily spend her days on board wandering around sketching the sculptures and other pieces. as for in port.. some of the most beautiful pieces of art I ever seen have been by local street artists. wood carvings, hand blown glass, watercolors, oils, textiles, they run the gamut.

and really, who wouldn't relish the opportunity to sit under a palm tree with a sketch pad drawing a tropical paradise?

you snorkel, she draws . win win all around.

we love the caribbean ports and neither one of us do beaches at all.. or a lot a shopping.

I'm not sure I'd want to leave a child that age...sounds like most teens, but that's the time you need to watch them the most!

I'd take her...things are different on a cruise...she may enjoy it more than you think she will. At the very least, she'll be no more "morose" on the ship than at home.

Thank you spookwife, I'm focussing on the things she wouldn't enjoy rather than what she may enjoy. More to consider, including leaving her alone to discover as cb at sea mentioned.

I feel your pain. :) As parents we sometimes feel guilty and selfish if we don't include our kids in things that we consider fun or a big deal for us.

I don't think you should bring her, and I don't think you should feel bad about it. You are excited about this trip and yet you say she's not interested and you have to drag her around everywhere. Go on your own. Parents deserve to have adventures and find their own happiness too. Show her the pictures and tell her about it afterwards. If you like cruising then there are tons of places you can go in the future that she may be interested in going to.

By the time you are ready to go on your next cruise maybe she will be ready to join you. Maybe you can discuss places that would be of interest to both of you.

My parents had very different travel interests than me, and I was much happier as a teen when they just left me home. No missing out at all.

Provided you have someone to leave her with, of course.

I think part of the answer depends on who the 15yo would be with if left at home. Left with mother or grandparents, or left with friends who may not have the same concern for her as you do.

Teens at this age think parents are lame. The older she gets, the smarter you will get in her mind. Right now you just "don't understand".

As long as she will be in good care while you are gone, go without her, take lots of pictures, and next time she may be eager to go.

Thanks all, I think I'll talk with her again and detail out what I'd like to accomplish and what she can do as an alternative. She's mature enough to provide feedback. Perhaps it I best I enjoy this one on my own. Will chat with her tonight.. :)

Thanks all, I think I'll talk with her again and detail out what I'd like to accomplish and what she can do as an alternative. She's mature enough to provide feedback. Perhaps it I best I enjoy this one on my own. Will chat with her tonight.. :)

Having gone through much the same myself, I can only say that your best bet is to level with her, but accept her decision. Long-term, your relationship will be better if you address it as a partnership.

Todd, Scroll down to "special interests" section for pertinent info for singles cruising. Leave the kid at home. Bad age for cruising; not a child, not an adult.Enjoy.

Welcome to Cruise Critic.

Just be aware the three and four day cruises can be party/drinking cruises.

If you can swing it, I would go with a seven day cruise.

Keith

Go for it, I did plenty on cruises when I was single and always did it alone. I agree with previous postor if possible do the 7 days, better ships and better ports.

In terms of lounging, walking around at port, swimming or snorkeling, no. She's in to anime and art, loves to draw and browse the internet for other artwork from teen artists. I see there are teen activities, but I'm not sure how she'd like them. I'd feel bad if we couldn't find common ground, meaning she'd NOT be in to the sun and water stuff. Stuck..

Maybe you could tell her about the ice carvings demonstration or the napkin folding demos. Honestly, I think there are things she can find to do if she just opens up a little. My kids rarely spent time in the pool but my daughter knows how to fold all the different napkin designs.

You could be describing my daughter! Fifteen, likes anime, drawing/art, internet, gameboy/ds/psp. We took her on her first cruise last year, and she enjoyed it so much we're taking her again next year!

Onboard, she found a small group of teens who would play video games together, roam the ship together [with rules/curfews]. She had so much fun, she was genuinely sad to see it end.

In ports, I tried to select excursions with different activities that none of us had experienced. My husband is not a big fan of beaches, so our beach time was limited to only an hour or two each port. Just enough for all of us, and not so much that my husband or my daughter got bored.

She ate all meals with us, even going so far as to put on a skirt and attend dinner in the main dining room every evening, and she tried all kinds of foods that I thought she would turn up her nose at...sushi, frog legs, etc.

You...and your daughter....might be surprised at how much she enjoys the trip.

You daughter really does not want to go. You want to enjoy yourself. Taking her on the cruise against her wishes may ruin it for you.

If you have someone you trust to leave her with, go by yourself and leave her home. Both of you will have a better time.

When she gets older and is no longer a teenager, then you can take her.

DON

I talked with the little lady, she would rather spend time with het best friend in Orlando while I enjoy the cruise. Great family she'd stay with who love having her. I just booked a 5 day on Carribean Princess sailing to Cozumel and Costa Maya Dec 13th! Plenty of time to plan. If by chance she changes her mind or I find someone to go with, can I change to two people?

My daughter wasn't too thrilled about a cruise either so she is going to Florida with my ex husband (her dad) and I'm going on a Western Med cruise solo. Everyone is happy. It's finding a balance. I have to wait longer for my cruise than you do though so please check in and let me know how it was. :)

Will do!

I talked with the little lady, she would rather spend time with het best friend in Orlando while I enjoy the cruise. Great family she'd stay with who love having her. I just booked a 5 day on Carribean Princess sailing to Cozumel and Costa Maya Dec 13th! Plenty of time to plan. If by chance she changes her mind or I find someone to go with, can I change to two people?

not necessarily. there are a variety of things that go into how many can be booked into a cabin.. life boat capacity and teen club capacity are among them.. even if you never plan or expect to use either. it would be far better to book for 2 NOW and then drop her at final payment if she still wusses out. if you try to add her later it may not be possible or it may cost you too much. since as a solo you are pretty much paying double anyway, you really won't be out financially

im a single mom, who luckily my kids like to sail. that being said, i went on a cruise by myself , shocked my children but they were a little older. i didnt go on a long one 4 days, but it was amazing to mental health. i for once in my adult life didnt have to plan around someone or try and cater to an experience they wanted or needed. i could eat like i wanted, drink like i want, take excursions that just made me happy. i met lovely people who were happy to include me in plans if i chose. when i came home my boss who encouraged me to go, he really is an awesome man who likes people to think he is prickly lol, was amazed at how rested i was how happy i was.

she will go on the next one and you can plan ports or excursions that she might like even if she doesnt think she does. when she is grown she will remember those experiences with joy :)

not necessarily. there are a variety of things that go into how many can be booked into a cabin.. life boat capacity and teen club capacity are among them.. even if you never plan or expect to use either. it would be far better to book for 2 NOW and then drop her at final payment if she still wusses out. if you try to add her later it may not be possible or it may cost you too much. since as a solo you are pretty much paying double anyway, you really won't be out financially

This may be your best bet. Book for two if you're on a cruiseline that will charge you 200 per cent of the fare. Then if you find a pal who wants to go in the meantime, there may be just a small fee to add him. Before he met me, my hubby went on his first cruise but at that time, Carnival did match up singles for cabin sharing. He lucked out with his companion.

And I know all about teenaged girls. Mine is 16 and has some interests in common with yours. Right now, she's on her laptop on Tumblr, probably writing away (her school year finished last week and she starts summer school next week).

Her first cruise was at 23 months of age, and her last two she was 13 and 15. She used the word "lame" to describe the teen center. Fortunately a couple of cruises ago, she met some girls her age and they hanged together. There was a Facebook group for the teens on that cruise too. There was plenty of drama, according to her, on the cruise and afterwards (the boy and girl type:rolleyes:). Before the next cruise, she found out that one of the girls, who she kept in contact with on FB, was also going (we were repeating the same itinerary at the same time of year -- actually the third time we were doing the Hawaiian cruise) again so they made plans to meet up. She expressed her dismay that we were dragging her on another cruise (two weeks of winter break away from her home computer...jeez).

Two cruises ago she complained that we were just going to do what dad "wanted," so I gave her brochures for each port that I've saved from the previous time and some post it notes and told her to come up with sightseeing ideas. Then the three of us sat down together and made sure that all of us were "on board" with the plan. A couple of places I had to discard because they wouldn't be open on our port days. But she did feel she had some say so. For the last cruise, we decided to consider a few excursions so I showed her where they were listed on the Princess site and she found one and I found one. I also found a shopping center on Maui that we hadn't been to before that would be open on Christmas Day, and the remaining port would be our official souvenir shopping port.

We involved her in the planning. Plus we bought an Internet package which she and I shared, so that was another plus. And we didn't order her to stay with us all the time (just while off the ship in port). She spent a lot of time with her friend plus another girl and three boys their age. She also wanted to eat dinner with us on some of the 14 nights and even saw a show or two with us. So there really is hope.:)

She did ask us to put a hold on future cruises for a while for financial reasons as college is coming up quickly.

So even if she's not interested in going with you this time (and I like the idea that she will be with a family and not on her own), if you enjoy the cruise, let her know that you would love it if she'll consider going with you in the future. Get her input into destinations and also plan to go when they'll be others her age (summer, winter, spring breaks) and let her know that she can help plan what to do and see in port and that you don't expect her to hang with you unless she wants to. (that could have been a concern of hers)