Cruising with teenagers - any tips?

This is not something I need to worry about yet, but just curious how other people handle it. I don't have any kids, but my 12 year old niece asked me today if I'd take her on a cruise sometime. Realistically it probably wouldn't be for another 2 years or so. I could see if I was bringing her, I'd probably end up bringing a friend of hers as well. If I was bringing just her, we'd share a cabin (even though I hate sharing!), but if she had a friend as well I'd prefer them to have a room to themselves, and me be separate.

Are there many/any cabins (suites) with two separate bedrooms? Or do people generally just get adjoining cabins? I sometimes hear of people having their kids in a cabin across the hall - is 14 too young for that?

What do the adults do in the evening - do you just make sure you're back in your cabin when the kids are in theirs? If you're in an adjoining cabin, is there anything to stop the others leaving their cabin through the "front door"? For now my niece is a good, well behaved kid (though she has her moments), but 14-15 could be a whole different ball game, based on remembering what I was like at that age!

Is taking on two 14-year-olds too big a challenge when you're not used to kids? We don't even speak the same mother tongues (though we both speak the other language).

...I sometimes hear of people having their kids in a cabin across the hall - is 14 too young for that?...

Royal will let you book children in staterooms adjacent to or directly across the hall from you.

Royal will let you book children in staterooms adjacent to or directly across the hall from you.

Are most parents happy with that? I'm sure the girls would be fantastically behaved :rolleyes:, but I worry that someone might run away with them if I can't see them :D I think that _not_ being a parent is more likely to make me "helicopter" than their own parents would!

We book in the same room. Yes, we do 4 in a room even with 2 large teen boys and never find it to be an issue. As long as they each had their own bed (Pullman and sofa or 2 Pullmans) If I could afford 2 rooms then I'd do adjoining.

We hang out together a lot during the day, by the pool or doing trivia etc. sometimes one would go to the teen room and we'd agree on times to meet. If they were going somewhere else then they were to come to the cabin and leave a note on the change, we'd also set meeting places too. We also always eat dinner together and we could regroup with plans for the evening. I believe in letting them have their own time but I don't believe in just letting them roam free (if that makes sense)

I don't think you can book the kids into their own cabin (even if it is directly across from, or adjacent to your cabin) UNLESS you are the parent of one of the kids. RCI's rule is that one of the kids must be your own. (And, the ratio of kids in that room must be 1:1 your own kid vs a friend or other relative)

There was a thread a while ago about grandparents who were denied boarding because they were not the parents of the kids they had booked into adjacent rooms, even though they had the parent's permission. They couldn't get around this by booking one adult in each room because they had 3 rooms in total.

That's interesting to know and definitely worth checking out beforehand.

I wonder would they know she's not mine? Many kids have different surnames than a parent, and I'm around the right age to be her mother. I don't think her passport lists her parents (must take a look the next time I'm over there).

My husband and I shared a cabin with two teens (grands) on a couple of cruises...

First and most important encourage them to sign up for the teen group.

Even if they don't want to ... both kids didn't but as soon as they did they begged us to go every night.

Most ships have a time kids can not be roaming the ships without an adult. Also use the buddy system. Do not let them go seperate ways.

Sharing a cabing was not as bad as I thought.

We had a sofa and bunk... the kids are only in the cabin to shower and sleep.

Do check in at certain times so you know where they are.

First and most important encourage them to sign up for the teen group.

Do you still need to sign up on the first day for teens? I know you do with the pre-teens.

 

What do the adults do in the evening - do you just make sure you're back in your cabin when the kids are in theirs? If you're in an adjoining cabin, is there anything to stop the others leaving their cabin through the "front door"?

Firs the easy question: No, you cannot physically prevent them from going out their "front" door. If, when the time comes, you don't feel you can trust your niece enough to follow whatever rules you establish for the cruise, don't go.

Now, to the first question. Everybody will have a different answer and what you decide to do will depend on your own comfort level, your niece (and her friend's) maturity level, etc. We have cruised with my now 16 year old son,

a few times when he was around 12-14 years old. He typically finds a group of kids around his age quite quickly, and enjoys spending time with them. We usually ask him to be part of a family dinner on formal nights, but other nights he prefers to just get pizza or visit the buffet with his friends and we are fine with that. He does his own thing, we do ours. We ask him to check in with us at certain times, and he needs to be in his room before the kids/teens curfew, which I believe is 1am, as established by the cruise line.

Firs the easy question: No, you cannot physically prevent them from going out their "front" door. If, when the time comes, you don't feel you can trust your niece enough to follow whatever rules you establish for the cruise, don't go.

 

Now, to the first question. Everybody will have a different answer and what you decide to do will depend on your own comfort level, your niece (and her friend's) maturity level, etc. We have cruised with my now 16 year old son,

a few times when he was around 12-14 years old. He typically finds a group of kids around his age quite quickly, and enjoys spending time with them. We usually ask him to be part of a family dinner on formal nights, but other nights he prefers to just get pizza or visit the buffet with his friends and we are fine with that. He does his own thing, we do ours. We ask him to check in with us at certain times, and he needs to be in his room before the kids/teens curfew, which I believe is 1am, as established by the cruise line.

I had been thinking late dining together, then bedtime for the two girls - goes to show what I know about teenagers these days :)

I would do 2 connecting cabins. Two 14 year old girls should have an adult very nearby....so I would opt for the connecting cabins. I wouldn't be comfortable with them across the hall or even in an adjoining cabin without that connecting door.

I don't think bedtime after dinner is realistic! They are going to want to take part in the nighttime activities.

You are going to have to be on top of things. Young teens can get into trouble...not saying they will try, but stuff happens...and you will ultimately be responsible....

It sort of sounds like you need to spend more time with your niece...find out what she's into, and how she operates...and go from there.

I have travelled with my boys for years now, and in August they will be 17.5 and just over 13.

And this year, I'm bringing along 3 teen friends of my older son. Since I am not their parent, I must be booked in the room with 2 of the kids, and the third must be in an immediately adjoining room. So we have a triple, then two doubles (one is my mom and other son) in a row.

My boys are always doing something like the flowrider or rock wall on the Freedom class ships we sail. They have not done the club for many years now. Often my younger son will go up to the basketball court and find others to play a pick up game. They mostly find other like minded individuals on the line for the flowrider so that's their go to place.

This time, I have a few rules for the teens, and that will be that we must connect for dinner, they need to check in with me a couple of times a day, and they must be back in the cabin by the 1 AM curfew. I don't care if they don't go to bed, but they must be out of common areas by then.

Since you will need to bring some sort of permission letter from your niece's parents as well as the friend, they will know that they are not yours, so you'll need to probably be in the room with them or immediately next to them. If you have a talk with them about expectations, they will understand what they need to do. And if they break the rules, then there need to be consequences.

Good luck.

Is taking on two 14-year-olds too big a challenge when you're not used to kids? We don't even speak the same mother tongues (though we both speak the other language).

(Just came back from taking my nephew along to hang with my son, both 16)

I would suggest making sure that everything is clearly spelled out in the beginning w/your niece and friend, as well as parents. Not knowing how fluent you both are of each other's first language. I would not assume anything and stress that they/their parents do not either. I would make sure that they have passports well in advance, know what expenses you will cover and what, if any, money they need to bring. We covered all the expenses, just had him bring suvineer money but I did not realize until later that we had not clarified when my sister asked how much money she needed to send for excursion and travel expenses. I would ask that they have their notarized letters in advance.

We did side by side but not connecting. (Although I did have a key to their cabin) I wanted my privacy & I knew they would like theirs too. I have had my kids call me when they are in for the night but did not with my son/nephew. I was already asleep! BUT they both knew not to blow this opportunity that we had given them. They both knew not to force me on following through with punishment if THEY caused ME any sort of problem on MY vacation! ;) I let them stay out until curfew and sleep in as late as they wanted, except for days I had excursion planned. They ended up going to bed EARLY (before me!) one night due to being exhausted.:D We had excursions and dinners together, except for the last night 's dinner. They wanted to have dinner with new friends. It was overall a good trip. I wish that we had been on a more teen friendly ship but they still had a good time. I would suggest a good size ship but not the biggest, due to the stumbling into each other. They never knew when we would stumble across them.

That sounds like a nice thing for you to do. When my kids were in their teens and we cruised together the only thing I asked is that they meet me for dinner each night. Teens usually find a group to hang out with. The fact that there will be two of them together makes me feel more inclined to give them more freedom. We also did a lot with sticky notes, just to let each other know where we would be. Connecting cabins work well, each has privacy but you can open the door when you want. I also made it very clear what was acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Mess up and they knew they would be left home the next time with my husband who hates to cruise.

For my DD's 16th birthday she had a choice of a Sweet 16 Party or a 7 day cruise with her BFF. She chose the BFF. We got them a cabin across the hall from us and set up ground rules. First day we made sure they had a card to our cabin and us to theirs. This is easily done at Guest Services. Dinner was mandatory. They had to observe the 1 a.m. curfew and must check in with us when they were back in their cabin. They were NOT allowed to go into anyone else's cabin...no ifs, ands or buts....they were not allowed to go off at ports without us. We went on excursions together.

You also need a notarized letter from your niece's and her friend's parents allowing you to take them on this trip, out of the country and authorize all medical decisions while they are in your care. Each should have an insurance card to carry with them from their parent's coverage. We also (as well as BFF's parents) set us an agreement that we would match the girls spending money with however much they saved prior to the cruise. This gave them the freedom to purchase some items they may wish to purchase without having to ask you for permission. (e.g. BFF wanted to buy something for me but didn't want me paying for it).

At the age of 14 I would probably opt for adjoining cabins but you know your niece better than we do. The girls will probably make friends in the clubs and hang out together. Make sure you set times for them to check in and let them know if they are late checking in there is a result for that (in)action. It keeps them and you aware of where each other is and keeps them from getting into trouble. Lastly, buddy system....neither girl goes anywhere alone...even the public bathroom....they are joined at the hip when not in your presence.

Firs the easy question: No, you cannot physically prevent them from going out their "front" door. If, when the time comes, you don't feel you can trust your niece enough to follow whatever rules you establish for the cruise, don't go.

 

Now, to the first question. Everybody will have a different answer and what you decide to do will depend on your own comfort level, your niece (and her friend's) maturity level, etc. We have cruised with my now 16 year old son,

a few times when he was around 12-14 years old. He typically finds a group of kids around his age quite quickly, and enjoys spending time with them. We usually ask him to be part of a family dinner on formal nights, but other nights he prefers to just get pizza or visit the buffet with his friends and we are fine with that. He does his own thing, we do ours. We ask him to check in with us at certain times, and he needs to be in his room before the kids/teens curfew, which I believe is 1am, as established by the cruise line.

This was exactly what I did with my son. I think the other mother at our table thought I was the worst mother because the 2nd and 3rd night my son didn't come to the MDR. I told her, he knows what time dinner is and he knows where the MDR is. If he's not here then he's not hungry. She made such a big deal about it that I finally told my son to meet me for dinner the rest of the cruise. LOL!!!

But I think that's why my son loves cruising so much. He gets time with me (on excursions) but he also gets a chance to be independent (on the ship). And honestly, he came looking for me anyway to tell me about things he thought I might want to do (like the Thriller Flash Mob and line dancing on the pool deck). :D

This was exactly what I did with my son. I think the other mother at our table thought I was the worst mother because the 2nd and 3rd night my son didn't come to the MDR.

 

But I think that's why my son loves cruising so much. He gets time with me (on excursions) but he also gets a chance to be independent (on the ship).

I know a lot of people insist that their kids/teens eat dinner with them every night onboard. That's their choice and I certainly understand it, but my son does not want to spend an hour and a half eating dinner and I understand that as well, LOL. So our compromise is usually formal nights.

Like you, our main together time is any time we are off the ship in port, whether on an excursion, or just getting lunch and souvenir shopping.

As for cabins, many people who have posted have been in favor of adjoining cabins. We booked adjoining cabins once, thinking it was like a hotel and we could choose when to have the connecting door open or closed, but the cabin steward had to open/close it, and more or less said it needed to stay open or closed the whole time.* For obvious reasons we didn't want it open all the time so we left it closed, BUT I got an extra key to the kids' room from guest services so I could still enter their cabin through the main door whenever I deemed necessary. Usually we book them across the hall in a cheaper interior room, and I likewise get an extra key.

*(I think the adjoining door issue may vary from ship to ship but I'm not sure)

There was a recent(?) post with rules for teens. I'd suggest you find that. Some great points outside of "have a curfew". Some really good things I had never thought of. Wish I could direct you to it but I don't remember where it was.

Do ensure you have notorized letters from both sets of parents including medical.

Loads of good things to think about - thanks everyone.

We booked adjoining cabins once, thinking it was like a hotel and we could choose when to have the connecting door open or closed, but the cabin steward had to open/close it, and more or less said it needed to stay open or closed the whole time.* For obvious reasons we didn't want it open all the time so we left it closed, BUT I got an extra key to the kids' room from guest services so I could still enter their cabin through the main door whenever I deemed necessary. Usually we book them across the hall in a cheaper interior room, and I likewise get an extra key.

 

*(I think the adjoining door issue may vary from ship to ship but I'm not sure)

That's disappointing - I'd assumed adjoining cabins, when booked by the same party, were controllable by the people in the cabins. I can understand that if there's a complete stranger next door the door(s) need to stay locked, but the whole point otherwise is to be able to open/close them at will.

There was a recent(?) post with rules for teens. I'd suggest you find that. Some great points outside of "have a curfew". Some really good things I had never thought of. Wish I could direct you to it but I don't remember where it was.

Will take a look for it and bookmark it. Like I said, it's certainly not going to happen this year, or probably next. Just good to have some ideas in mind before I even think of booking something. By that time she may have changed her mind about going cruising with her "cool auntie", and may think I'm the dullest person around. I think I get brownie points at the moment because I have video games and no kids :)

Obviously your rules depend on the nature of the teenager. My last 3 cruises have been with teens and each time they had there own room close to us. We buy the mark and wipe boards at the dollar store and post those on the doors to leave messages of where we are going, where to meet, etc and that has worked great. The last cruise 2 male teens shared a room and girls were leaving messages for them on where to meet! Another option would be 2 balcony cabins and open the balcony up. We just did that on Oasis and that was perfect, we had 3 adjoining balconies and all went back and forth and easily had access to the other rooms. We were pretty lenient on curfews, the ship sets those for you but we are blessed with trustworthy kids!

Just got off the Freedom with my 15yo son a week ago.

You don't need to "sign them up" for the teen club, but definitely encourage them to go the first night -- that's when they can meet other people to hang out with for the rest of the week.

I had completed all the waivers online prior to us leaving, but we learned (too late) that they have to have a parent/guardian present for ice skating. This was disappointing -- we'd lugged my son's hockey skates all the way from Michigan, and he never got to skate on the ship. He was allowed to do the FlowRider without me present, however.

Unless the girls are complete introverts, they WILL want to be out until the 1am curfew every night... no "dinner then bedtime" for teens!

If you have to worry about her sneaking out after hours, you shouldn't be taking her on a cruise. Besides, the Deck Patrol folks will round up all teens who are out and about after curfew anyway -- there's really no point in sneaking out after hours.

I'm another mom who didn't require "dinner every night" -- we did formal nights and also a group dinner the first night, but the rest of the time I let him do his own thing to spend more time with friends. We also spent port days together.

Also, they won't let the girls off the ship without you present, not even at Coco Cay or Labadee. They'll let them back on the ship alone, but they won't let them leave without a guardian present.

Found the link for teenage rules.

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1199310