Planning Fist Solo - already making excuses

So I live annd work in the US but regularly make the trip back to England to see my parents, and it seems like the older I get, the more I hate flying. Lately I have been paying extra for business class just to make the trip more enjoyable (which is just ridiculous because I'm spending most of my disposable income on 2 trips home every year) and suddenly one day the light bulb came on and I remembered that ships cross the Atlantic too, and I love cruising - what an idiot !!

I did the sums on my vacation days and figured I can make it work with a decent layover before flying back.

And so the solo excuses are already forming in my head - "no I really do have friends" "I cruised the carribbean last year with a girlfriend - no an actual real girl with teeth and everything - honest" and finally the one that gives me the biggest wall to hide behind "oh I'm just traveling from A to B to see my parents - this is just transportation, not really cruising" - pah, what a load of old cobblers !! The truth is that I would LIVE on a cruise ship if only I could find someone who liked cruising as much as I do. If I announce a trip to Vegas and I'm knocked over in the rush, mention cruising and I'm about as popular as a wasp at a picnic.

So this is going to take some adjustment for me, primarily because I am going to have to FORCE myself to come out of the shell I normally live in when cruising non-solo. I thought about reserving a 2 top table for dinner and sitting there solemnly munching on my food trying not to make eye-contact - but no, I'm going to sit at the big wagon wheel table in my tuxedo and see who rolls up, I can't decide if it's going to be a case of Red Buttons in The Poseidon Adventure (the sweet lonely old habberdasher) or David Niven in Separate Tables - but without the inappropriate behavior for those who know the movie.

So give me your tips and recommendations because I have some serious trepidation going on here - especially as I plan to book it this week.

I'm not sure what the issue is personally. I dont answer to anyone but myself in my life and my travel choices.

Why are "solo excuses" deemed to be required ? In more than 30 years of solo travel I have never been asked the question nor had to come up with a response/reason/excuse.

I dine alone for breakfast simply because I am not a morning person. I use that time to update my diary over my cup of tea and breakfast.

Lunch - depends on the day and the mood.

Dinner I look for a table of 4 - not too small and not too big. There are always plenty of other solos that you can be seated with. If its a permenant table for the voyage I ask in advance to be seated with a mix of solos. I have dined alone in the specialty restaurants but have also ocassionally met another solo who was interested in trying a specific restaurant and have gone with them.

While many of us love to cruise solo..its not for everyone.

I don't think it should be something to be talked into. It appears the views of others trumps your personal desires.

For me, life is just too short to wait on others to approve of my choices.

Hopefully, you will give it a try.

So give me your tips and recommendations because I have some serious trepidation going on here - especially as I plan to book it this week.

My prime tip is to do what you want without embarrassment. You don't need excuses (I've been there, done that.....and then I realized I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of being on my own). You will not be the only solo cruiser, so don't think of it as some weird thing you're doing. You might find interesting people to talk to at your dining table, and, if you don't, you won't have to be there all the time. If they're not your cup of tea, ask the Maitre D' if you can change tables. I did that on a cruise several years ago, and it worked out well. Or (depending on which ship you're on), consider minimizing your time in the MDR and eat elsewhere. On my last solo cruise (last fall) there was a woman who was slated to sit at my table (of 8) and she only ate there 2 out of 15 nights.....she chose to have dinners elsewhere on the ship the other nights.

Don't feel you have to be sociable if you don't want to......I love sitting and watching the ocean while listening to my iPod, reading on deck, or wandering the decks with my camera and just smelling the ocean (I love days at sea). Or (depending on what ship you're on) there may be lots of activities for you to join if you do want to be more active and social. As I started this post -- do what you want without embarrassment, because no one will care whether you're alone or in company, whether you're social or a loner.

Cruise booked, balcony category DC starboard side, and I requested an 8 seater table with other solos at dinner.

The best part was that Cunard had absolutely amazing rates for first class airfares to get me back to Phoenix.

Now the preparation really begins !!

Cruise booked, balcony category DC starboard side, and I requested an 8 seater table with other solos at dinner.

 

The best part was that Cunard had absolutely amazing rates for first class airfares to get me back to Phoenix.

 

Now the preparation really begins !!

Congrats for taking the plunge! I am going on my first solo cruise next month. I was a bit anxious at first but all the encouragement here helped me feel more comfortable. And, I booked a studio so there are a lot of ways to meet other solo travelers. Since I deal with people all the time for my career, a little peace and quiet is something I am looking forward to. I am excited to not have to compromise on where to eat and what to do.

People look at me with a somewhat sad expression when I say I am going alone, so I know what you mean about excuses. I am too excited to let them bother me. :D

Cruise booked, balcony category DC starboard side, and I requested an 8 seater table with other solos at dinner.

 

The best part was that Cunard had absolutely amazing rates for first class airfares to get me back to Phoenix.

 

Now the preparation really begins !!

Awesome :) Have a great trip!

Last Transatlantic that I did was with my aunt who lives in Rome in the summer and Fort Lauderdale in the winter. She thought it was the BEST way to make that happen. She keeps asking me if I thought they would change the schedule of the transatlantic crossings to be a little more convenient for her... ;)

I adore solo transatlantics.

Get active in your roll call, turn up to the Meet and Mingle, say hi to a few people, arrange a large table for dinner, and bob's your uncle. When I was younger I had the odd person quiz me about why I was travelling alone, but it hasn't happened lately.

One of the joys about a cruise is that there's a good chance you'll never see those people again. Tell them you're on a secret mission if you feel like it :)

Figure out something "regular" from the daily activities that you'll enjoy attending - you'll find the same people will go all the time, and you'll strike up conversations. For me it's the trivia - maybe for you it's tiddlywinks or origami, but whatever it is, try to go regularly, unless you're having too much fun elsewhere!

I just returned home from my 40something solo cruise.:D I am not sure

I understand...you are already making excuses about it? For who?

I only cruise solo and I love it:) I don't feel the need to make excuses

to anyone.....and I agree with Daytoncruiser...I would never "talk someone into solo cruising"....if someone doesn't want to travel solo?

That is their decision.

I see you went ahead and booked.....congrats:) and I do hope you

have a great cruise:)

I just went to Alaska......had wonderful tablemates, great food and

service and enjoyed the whole week:D

I agree with the others who wonder why to bother with excuses.

Offering an excuse is literally attempting to be "excused", which would imply that one is doing something wrong

I'm in the process of planning my very first cruise, and I am absolutely going solo! I don't like the fact that I'm going to have to pay the fare for 2 people in order to do it, but, other than that, I'm thrilled at the prospect, and can't wait!

No one is going to feel neglected if I want to just spend the day alone, reading or listening to music.

I can hang what I want, where I want in my stateroom, have ALL the drawers, watch or listen to whatever I wish, and have the lights on or off at my whim, without having to worry about bothering someone else. There will be no debates on which thing to do after dinner (well.. ok, there may be, at that, but I'll have only myself to blame! LOL) or what to do in port, or anything else. I'm having a tough time finding the downside, other than the cost!

I find it highly likely that those who give you (or me) the "sad look", or seem otherwise discomfited at the prospect of someone going it alone are simply projecting their own insecurities onto other people.

Lots of people cannot fathom being comfortable with only themselves as company. Perhaps it is because they fear the company will be found lacking. The best cure for that is to get to know the person in the mirror well enough to find that person to be someone whose company you treasure above all others!

After all, that's the ONLY person whose company we cannot avoid keeping.

I definitely understand Winchester's post! I just booked my first solo cruise (widow - early 60's -- this will be my 18th or 19th cruise, but my first one by myself). I was pretty excited and patting myself on the back for going ahead with the booking, although I am nervous about whether I will find it a very lonely experience. In my case, I'll have to balance memories of cruising with my husband and kids with the new experience of cruising as a solo. My kids are newly launched, and in new careers so they have very little vacation time. Cruising had been a favorite vacation. We renewed our vows on cruises twice, once in a church in Sitka Alaska and then again as a family ceremony when my spouse was diagnosed with a terminal disease. In fact, my kids and I buried my spouse's ashes at sea on a cruise, per his wishes.

I happily told my co-workers about my planned vacation, and have been surprised at the universal negative reactions. Some of them appear to struggle with the idea of going on any vacation as a solo. For those people, it wouldn't matter whether I was going to sit on a beach for a week or going to Europe. They just can't envision a solo life, or perhaps they can't picture spending a week in their own company as Khaos says. Others have said that it will be even more lonely to be on a ship surrounded by couples and families on vacation. I've been asked why I wasn't able to find anyone to go with me. (Hmmm -- is this a polite way of asking if I don't have any friends or if my family hates me?)

Yeah, I'm a little nervous. Yeah, I'm afraid I'll feel very, very lonely, even knowing how friendly people are on cruises. I also know that I may have to initiate conversations and come out of my shell too. I'll be looking out for other solos -- and heck, if I met Winchester, I'd initiate a conversation and try to fix him up with my daughter LOL! I'm THAT Mother.

Hope Winchester has a great experience, and comes back to tell us it went very well!

I did my 1st solo cruise in January - my 10th cruise. I was scared to death and almost cancelled. When I got on the ship and was waiting by the pool for rooms to be opened I really teared up. All of my other cruises were with my parents who both passed within the past few years, so part of the tears were for them. Then I started feeling sorry for myself - look at all of the families, couples, groups, etc and here is poor me sitting all by myself! Then a revelation - this is my vacation and it is up to me to have a good time or bad. The rest of the vacation was wonderful, so much so that solo cruise #2 is in November. I sat at an assigned table with 3 couples. Wonderful table mates. One couple I always sat with in the theatre - they asked me. I met people at the muster drill - 3 excursions with them. Met people at the pool - oh hi come sit over here with us. I loved I could have my people time and my alone time!! I never once felt lonely. Yes, I got the questions about why I was traveling solo - answer because I was tired of waiting for other people to travel with. By the way, I am not the life of the party kind of person, rather shy and always think no one is going to like me. Surprise they did like me LOL!

Go for it just remember that it is up to you to have a good time!!!

LuvMyFurbaby - Your posting is inspirational! I'm going to print it out and tuck it in my purse to read during my cruise at the end of June. Thank you!

@LuvMyFurbaby: An excellent post. I've just booked my first solo cruise for next January and your post will serve as an excellent attitude check for me when/if I find myself starting to have a pity party by the pool. Thank you for posting that.

So I live annd work in the US but regularly make the trip back to England to see my parents, and it seems like the older I get, the more I hate flying. Lately I have been paying extra for business class just to make the trip more enjoyable (which is just ridiculous because I'm spending most of my disposable income on 2 trips home every year) and suddenly one day the light bulb came on and I remembered that ships cross the Atlantic too, and I love cruising - what an idiot !!

 

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So give me your tips and recommendations because I have some serious trepidation going on here - especially as I plan to book it this week.

I experienced those same exact epiphanies about four years ago! I live in the Middle East and my family lives in South Florida, so in April 2012 I took an eastbound TA to get back across the pond. As I said then, and it remains true, "The best decision I ever made!" I actually didn't sail that one solo, though, as my father eventually decided to join me.

However, I've lived most of my adult life solo, so it does not even occur to me that I'm doing anything out of the ordinary, for me, when I travel, cruise, or eat out solo. I understand, though, those for whom traveling solo is not part of their routine, especially those who are adjusting to a more-solo life due to death or divorce. I cannot imagine how that must feel, and you all have my support.

As far as tips and recommendations go, be true to yourself. If you're happy and feel safe doing your own thing, on ship or in port, then do that. On the other hand, you can fill your days and nights with an endless stream of company and shared activities. But, again, be true to yourself. Know what you will enjoy.

Personally, for example, I have never planned a shore excursion, either on my one solo cruise or when cruising with family. That's just who I am, and I'm thrilled with whatever I eventually end up doing when I walk off the ship.

Have a great cruise!

Quote:

"As far as tips and recommendations go, be true to yourself"

This is one of the best posts I have ever read.:)...thank you.

Many times I book tours through the ship. Some folks think ship excursions

are terrible.....sometimes I have found them awesome and sometimes

not so much but I do what is most comfortable for me. Depends on

the port, what is offered and, if the roll call I am chatting on is fun, folks

on there may do things together as well.

As you said......be true to yourself:)....that is what matter the most.

I've gotta say, I'm loving all the positive attitude I'm seeing here! It's so true that we are all the arbiters of our own happiness!

Something I've learned over the years is that my circumstances do NOT need to dictate my happiness. Yes, I've got some pretty challenging, and sometimes dire circumstances in my life, but being miserable about it isn't going to change them for the better.

A very wise man and mentor of mine used to say, "Things are going to be the way they're going to be whether I like it or not; So I might as well like it!"

I believe he had it spot on!

Once I figure out the specifics and get my cruise booked (most likely a HAL, 7 day, Seattle to Alaska and back, on the Westerdam - just the sailing isn't worked out), I am very much looking forward to finding my roll call and meeting some of the folks from here, whether they are other "solos" or not!

Some people seem to need a crowd to feel safe when they travel.

I paid for a one week cruise for a friend and his wife. They had never had a private vacation for over 15 years since their twin boys were born and so were not use to travelling by just themselves.

It was amazing the number of times this couple asked me if I would come with them, and in their minds better yet if I also invited one of my travel companions along at the same time.

To them just going together alone (the two of them only) was a big deal.

Of-course they just came back this weekend and they are already planning their next cruise, so I guess it just takes a good trip to get people to adjust their expectations.

PS. WARNING TO FIRST TIME SOLO TRAVELLERS.

First solo cruise Dec.2014 - 6 days Carnival Breeze.

Second solo cruise March 2015 - 7 days NCL Epic.

Third solo cruise planned Oct.2015 - 21 days Carnival Dream.

I think I see a pattern here, so be warned.

Really, don't worry in August I do Quebec City for one week with a friend, in November I do two weeks in Cuba with the same friend, and next year it will be three weeks in Anchorage Alaska again with a friend.

Damn it, whether I go solo or with a friend I see the same pattern! I think I am doomed. Be careful out there or you too may find yourself spending all your free time on vacations!

I'm counting down to my 12th solo cruise - yes, I'm totally addicted.

I love the fact that you wake up in a new place every day, that you are surrounded by wonderful food and constantly entertained. Its hard to find that on a land holiday.

Personally I go on ship's excursions for the "must see" places (I've enough to worry about without planning independent tours, and its a good way to meet new friends from the ship too). I've also become more confident over the years and will now just walk off the ship to explore on my own (planning to do that in Istanbul and Athens this year!!).

I don't care when people ask why I'm travelling alone any more - my friends are couples, I'm not - and the people at work don't think I'm brave going on my own now, they ask where I'm going next (because I'm ALWAYS on holiday apparently :) ).

Yes I have off days, and the only person to cheer you up is yourself, but you just have to decide you WILL enjoy yourself no matter what - that usually does the trick.

However in all the cruises I've been on I've never once failed to make a whole bunch of friends (solos, couples, people you happen to chat to in the theatre or see in the same bar every night...).

I'm fairly sure that once you've got the first solo cruise over with you'll be planning the next one. Enjoy!!

I love solo cruising, I am by myself a bit more than half my cruises. I decide when I want to eat, what I want to see in port, and what shows I want to see. Conversations do not start out with "What do you want to do." I have met the most wonderful people on board, solo cruising is becoming more popular. It is nice to see some of the cruise lines with solo cabins on ships, I dislike the solo supplement.

The other pet peeve I have recently run across is the deposit, I have sailed RCI for the past few years and am looking to switch back to Carnival for a while. I found a good price on the new Vista, but they want double the deposit for a solo. That is more than half the price of the cruise up front. I think I am going to wait an see if they run a half off deposit special in the next few months. I have also heard some nice reviews of the NCL solo cabins with the solo lounge. I may give that a try.

I did my 1st solo cruise in January - my 10th cruise. I was scared to death and almost cancelled. When I got on the ship and was waiting by the pool for rooms to be opened I really teared up. All of my other cruises were with my parents who both passed within the past few years, so part of the tears were for them. Then I started feeling sorry for myself - look at all of the families, couples, groups, etc and here is poor me sitting all by myself! Then a revelation - this is my vacation and it is up to me to have a good time or bad. The rest of the vacation was wonderful, so much so that solo cruise #2 is in November. I sat at an assigned table with 3 couples. Wonderful table mates. One couple I always sat with in the theatre - they asked me. I met people at the muster drill - 3 excursions with them. Met people at the pool - oh hi come sit over here with us. I loved I could have my people time and my alone time!! I never once felt lonely. Yes, I got the questions about why I was traveling solo - answer because I was tired of waiting for other people to travel with. By the way, I am not the life of the party kind of person, rather shy and always think no one is going to like me. Surprise they did like me LOL!

Go for it just remember that it is up to you to have a good time!!!

Awesome post! I have been lurking on the solo cruise board because I really want to try it, I've just been too chicken to book it and do it. I would probably be the same in the beginning thinking about the other families and why am I there alone...thank you so much for the inspiration!

Some brilliant & motivating comments on here! Just booked my 1st Solo cruise for later this year and I'm so excited.

I normally go with my sister and a friend and last trip earlier this month we had my niece join us. While I had a great holiday I did come away feeling I really wanted a solo trip so I could do exactly what I wanted without feeling guilty.

I'll be able to quickly get ready for the evenings without waiting for 3 other people to use the shower, go to whichever bar I fancy for a drink, as someone else said easily get a single sunbed by the pool AND have a big glass of wine at lunchtime without my sister raising her eyebrows at me :D

I do find if funny though when people comment on how brave I must be to do things on my own (whether that be holiday, going to cinema or whatever) and then give me a patronising 'Well Done' like I've accomplished some amazing feat!

I do find if funny though when people comment on how brave I must be to do things on my own (whether that be holiday, going to cinema or whatever) and then give me a patronising 'Well Done' like I've accomplished some amazing feat!

I'm sure it's not patronizing, but sincere. For some people, being alone for an extended period (days) and traveling alone is truly frightening on a basic level (the base desire for security and familiarity, etc). To them, it really has been an amazing feat, and you have been brave, even though to you, who didn't conquer any fears, it might not seem brave. It's sort of the same way someone who is afraid of the water has accomplished something brave and amazing simply by walking into the lake up to his waist, but to someone who's not afraid of the water, it's nothing special and a trivial part of one's afternoon on the beach.

Sorry, I certainly did not mean to trivialise anyone’s fears/worries and totally agree it is very brave to go outside of your comfort zone and book a holiday on your own. I’ve no doubt that despite my total excitement about my 1st solo cruise I will have quite a few nerves on the day. But I’m sure it will be worth it :D:D

I did my first cruise/first solo cruise last week, all in one.

I had a situation where I freaked out a very small amount not long after I got access to my cabin. I'd just hit some dense crowds at the buffet, I was already convincing myself I was slightly seasick, and I knew I had seven days ahead of me.

So I took half a xanax, another bonine, and some ginger pills. I went back out of the room to the solo lounge and got some refreshments. Not long after, the rest of my luggage showed up, and that was pretty much the end of any troubles I had. :)