Funniest Complaints Heard While Cruising

We did the Behind the Fun tour on the Carnival Pride this past April. There was a woman who was obsessed with the Bermuda Triangle. Since we sailed from Baltimore to the Caribbean we had clearly sailed through it. She asked everyone in every department we visited about it. Was the water different? How would she know we were in it? What would happen?

When we reached the bridge, of course, she asked the captain the same questions. He tried to explain that it was no big deal, but she wasn't having it. She complained that sailing through the Bermuda Triangle had turned her gold jewelry silver. The look on the captain's face was priceless.

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Last week on Anthem while waiting to pay at the blow out $19.95 "sale" of the jewelry boxes--each one containing a metal watch, diamond bracelet and necklace.

"Is this real silver?"

Not quite a complaint (and not quite a true story either!), but I like the one about the elderly lady sailing from Southampton to Australia via the Suez Canal.

As they were crossing the Bay of Biscay, she asked one of the stewards where the nearest lavatory was. "Port side" was the reply. "Oh dear", she said. "Could you ask the captain if he would be able to call in at Gibraltar?"

Years ago, we took my mother on her one and only cruise. Myself, my wife and younger daughter were in our cabin, and my mother was in another cabin with my older daughter. My mother kept complaining that the ship was rocking and could my daughter make it stop...

This is why my mother will never take another cruise.

In the shuttle bus from the rental car counter to the Fort Lauderdale cruise port the driver asks to which ship we are headed. The couple with us in the bus doesn't know the name of their ship.

Fancy cruise line, a passenger corners the executive chef in the lobby: She had sent 15 e-mails to make sure the ship would stock 'her' brand of Greek yoghurt. She complained that they had stocked a different brand.

We were once on a Mexican Riviera cruise. We were doing Anytime-type dining and by chance happened to be seated with the same couple twice, plus once for lunch in the MDR.

They spent each meal complaining about the food; how they were 'foodies' and this was inedible, that was over or under cooked, the food was worse than McDonalds, etc.

At the last meal we shared (made sure never to eat with them again!) they let slip that they had won the cruise in some kind of contest at their bank. It was a completely free cruise (they also complained about their room and other things) and yet nothing satisfied them.

Some people just love complaining. The food was just fine, BTW.

Funniest thing I have seen was on the Ruby Princess. We were skirting a hurricane and the seas were pretty rough. The Captain had to cancel our stop at Grand Cayman.

While waiting for my wife near the Passenger Services desk , I heard lots of complaints about the change in itinerary.

What made it funny was the fact that the entire ship was vibrating at the time.

" I insist that we ruuuuuuuumble BOOOOM!! stop at Grand Cayman. BOOOM!! rumble rumble

etc etc. :)

Check my signature for a quote, used with permission, by Cruise Critic member daiB. We have seen this to be true pretty much 100% of the time. :)

On one of my cruises I was in the buffet for breakfast and there was a tray of Bacon marked "English Bacon". There was an elderly American couple in front of me. The man remarked that it looked good and it was unfair that it was only for English passengers. I replied that it was for everyone and that they should help themselves. The woman said "Oh no We don't want to risk getting into trouble." I sighed as I helped myself to some. The Jamaican man replenishing the sausage links could hardly keep from bursting into laughter. :rolleyes::D

On one of my cruises I was in the buffet for breakfast and there was a tray of Bacon marked "English Bacon". There was an elderly American couple in front of me. The man remarked that it looked good and it was unfair that it was only for English passengers. I replied that it was for everyone and that they should help themselves. The woman said "Oh no We don't want to risk getting into trouble." I sighed as I helped myself to some. The Jamaican man replenishing the sausage links could hardly keep from bursting into laughter. :rolleyes::D

Yes, fear the Bacon Police.:D

Mine was on a cruise many, many years ago. It was a cruise through the Panama Canal that had a lot of sea days prior to our first port. There was a large family with a few children (this was not a cruise line that caters to children) and the mother of two of the boys stopped every officer that went near her and asked if they could stop somewhere, so the boys could get off and do something on land, because they were bored. One of the officers told me that they had the crew notify the officers where this lady was on the ship, so that they could avoid her.

In Hawaii I heard an elderly woman ask "Where are the pineapple trees? My trip is not complete without seeing the pineapple trees!" :D

On one of my cruises I was in the buffet for breakfast and there was a tray of Bacon marked "English Bacon". There was an elderly American couple in front of me. The man remarked that it looked good and it was unfair that it was only for English passengers. I replied that it was for everyone and that they should help themselves. The woman said "Oh no We don't want to risk getting into trouble." I sighed as I helped myself to some. The Jamaican man replenishing the sausage links could hardly keep from bursting into laughter. :rolleyes::D

Funniest post on this thread :D

Tempts me to lecture all Americans on the merits of properly-cooked back bacon, rather than that frazzled burnt streaky stuff served in the States.

But I won't - last time I did that on Cruise Critic I got into an argument :D

JB :)

We were sitting at a table with six others waiting for the last couple to arrive. As they approached the woman said, "You would think they would seat us suite passengers with better people." Awkward meal and we asked to be moved to a different table for the rest of the cruise.

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Yes, fear the Bacon Police.:D

I've been on some cruises where they should have had Bacon Police!

I've been on some cruises where they should have had Bacon Police!

What is it with people hogging..ha, ha, bacon? It's not a delicacy, one can have it anytime at home, it's not expensive to buy, WHY?:confused:

The ones I have personally heard.....

 

The people who think that the cruise line purposely hits the waves to make the ship rock more than it should are always funny to listen to.

 

The person complaining that her phone call from her cabin (where the rates are plainly posted) cost as much as at did. She was convinced if she complained enough they would remove the charge.

 

The couple who were in the Concierge lounge complaining about everything on the cruise (food, service, no chocolates, etc., etc., etc) but when asked why they cruise if they have so many complaints they say because they like to cruise.

 

There were people on my New England cruise in the fall complaining about the cold weather. They believed that Royal purposely picked that route which they travelled because it was colder.

My wife said that one day, midway during our Alaska inland cruise, she was in the casino playing a slot machine with two elderly women who were traveling together in their 70's, one siting on her left, the other on her right continued to complain to each other (mind you, my poor wife's in the middle) to the effect, 'WHY, can't the Captain find some warmer weather so they could use the rear outside pool?' My wife laughed, telling me, 'WHERE, did they think the cruise was going?? the Caribbean? :)

Same thing happened to us at Grand Cayman. We were on an excursion out to Stingray City, and a man demanded I get up and give him my seat because he had a sunburn. I had a little bit of a sunburn, and said I needed the shade too but he was welcome to sit next to me. He said he wanted my seat and I needed to move. He was pretty rude about it, so I did give him my seat, but I wondered why he had chosen an excursion where you stand out in the ocean.

Why would you give up your seat to someone being a jacka*s? I would have refused to move and let him sizzle in the tropical sun.

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More of an amusing misunderstanding than a complaint, but while on the bus in Jamaica on the way to an excursion my sister and I were seated in front of a group of folks from Dallas or Forth Worth can't remember which. Our tour guide starts to give us a quick lesson in Jamaican vernacular which she explains is a mixture of English and slang. She then goes over the history of Jamaica as a British colony and gives the run down on the major language on the island and religion etc...Our bus driver named Matthew makes a joke about the Jamaican name for jail (the free hotel) and we laugh.

Then one of the ladies in the group behind my sister and I asks Matthew with a straight face and dead serious "So what's your Jamaican name?" our tour guide kind of looks at her and the bus driver says "Matthew".

This apparently doesn't satisfy her as she says again "no but what's your Ja-Ma-Cian name?" I had to hold my sister back from laughing out loud when the bus driver goes "Matt-Hew" she still isn't getting it and asks again louder and slower "Jamaican name...what's your Jamaican name?" suddenly her friends and the rest of us all burst out laughing one of them finally explained it to her and she was like "ooooh" and she starts laughing too.

Very nice lady otherwise though :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexspepa

I've been on some cruises where they should have had Bacon Police!

What is it with people hogging..ha, ha, bacon? It's not a delicacy, one can have it anytime at home, it's not expensive to buy, WHY?:confused:

I enjoyed the pun! A lot of people eat and drink differently on cruises. What makes me sad is the number of full plates that sit untouched. But I don't say anything.

We were sitting at a table with six others waiting for the last couple to arrive. As they approached the woman said, "You would think they would seat us suite passengers with better people." Awkward meal and we asked to be moved to a different table for the rest of the cruise.

 

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Did you take the time to explain to her that you were the better people, maybe even the best and she should see the Others. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexspepa

I've been on some cruises where they should have had Bacon Police!

 

 

 

 

I enjoyed the pun! A lot of people eat and drink differently on cruises. What makes me sad is the number of full plates that sit untouched. But I don't say anything.

Have gotten full plates of food and just walked off, and wasted it too. :( I saw that all the time in Las Vegas, where you have some the best buffets in this country. We, Americans are some of the most spoiled people in the world about wasting food. I hope we never have to regret such waste.

Mac

On a cruise from UK to Norway, getting off to go to the North Cape one evening, the woman in front of me said 'It's not very warm here, there isn't much here.' We were above the Arctic Circle, surrounded by arctic tundra. WHAT DID SHE EXPECT?

Last year we flew to Seattle for an Alaskan cruise. At the airport there was a woman and her daughter waiting for the same shuttle to the hotel as we were. The woman was complaining loudly that the flight took too long, the shuttle was taking too long to arrive, etc. and the cruise line was going to hear from her about it. She was sure the hotel would give away her room (could we be so lucky?). I assured her that it was still early in the day and they would hold it for several more hours.

When the shuttle arrived she started her rant all over, now because the shuttle was taking too long to get to the hotel.

Later that evening I saw her daughter and commented that the hotel must have held their rooms. The daughter rolled her eyes, sighed and said yes, her mother did tend to get a bit cranky at times. She then said, "That's why I drink." I wished her well and suggested she buy the beverage package if she didn't already have it.

What is it with people hogging..ha, ha, bacon? It's not a delicacy, one can have it anytime at home, it's not expensive to buy, WHY?:confused:

I think most people use a vacation as an excuse to over indulge and eat badly, so they gain 50 lbs. That way they have a reason to complain. [emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2]

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