The news from Queen Victoria

This is Diane, reporting live from Queen Victoria on the Ancient Wonders and Turkish Splendours cruise.

Here is the headline news.

Priority embarkation still works – but the queue through security takes half an hour.

The photographers are indeed waiting just before security, but the only photo taken was of the photographers themselves. Your roving reporter can produce it on demand. All photographers on board smile nicely when passengers indicate disinterest. No cajoling or threats have been in evidence. It is even possible to walk briskly past the photographers and smile at them without being hijacked.

One passenger tried to break the ship before it had even left Southampton. She plugged in a power bank (set of four power boards), flash of light and the power points in the cabin no longer worked. Said passenger calmly reported the loss of power to the room steward, with no mention of the power bank hurriedly stashed back into her suitcase.

On the first evening a long queue was to be seen at the Purser’s Desk. One of the staff walked along the line asking who was there to remove gratuities. Seven people flocked to her clipboard in the five minutes that your reporter watched.

So far only two serious dress infractions have been seen. The first was a woman in floral cotton shirt and casual trousers standing in the Chart Room on a Formal Night. The second was similar. Unfortunately there was no one on hand to impose on-the-spot fines.

Puddles of water on board ship are not a myth. One puddle was noticed in a stateroom on Night 4. Could it have had anything to do with the ice bucket overturned next to it? Two hand towels later and the puddle was dry by morning.

Cruise Critic members may be sparse on the ship but five of them meet daily for Afternoon Tea – to the disgruntlement of the waiters who do not like having a fifth chair at the table. They will adapt.

The night time chocolates are indeed smaller than of yore. This was first reported on Cruise Critic but it has been confirmed by a passenger met in the lift who measured a chocolate from an earlier cruise and compared it with the current ones. The chocolates are currently 34 mm square. Could passengers on later cruises please take note and report any further shrinkage.

Cost-cutting is further evident in the size of the bath robes, to the consternation of one male passenger who jumped out of bed to get his room service breakfast, pulled on the bath robe and discovered it did not cover him. He found that standing side on to the door and holding out one hand for the tray helped to preserve his dignity.

The new band is under the direction of Kerry Maule and features vocalist Claudine Carle. The strict ballroom dancers will find that her emphasis is on performance and she changes timing of the words. The band’s tempo also changes unpredictably at times. However, a dedicated dancer can survive such vicissitudes.

A bottle of wine has gone missing. It was bought as part of a package of three in an onboard sale, but the sommelier has reported that only two of the bottles can be found. More worrying is that he told the diner that her Chenin Blanc has gone missing, when she actually ordered Chinon.

The bar staff in the ballroom are as efficient as ever. Your reporter’s favourite waitress is back, delivering regular glasses of water without even being asked.

Your reporter has not yet braved the Sunbed Wars to report on the use of towels on beds (though a reliable informant has told her of the books left on Deck 10 sunbeds). However, a similar practice is alive and flourishing in the ballroom. One trio puts out their handbags before going to dinner, ready for the 7:45 dancing session, in order to grab pride of place in ‘Barracuda Alley’ (the front row opposite the stage, from which it’s easiest to grab the Dance Hosts). As their favoured position is right in the centre, there is no room left for groups. One clever dancer sends her Aged Aunt to sit for 45 minutes, saving seats on the side for her, your Roving Reporter and others. The 45 minutes between dance sessions is spent by this group saving seats in rotation. They dare not disturb the handbags! Handbag Wars – you heard it first on this site.

The mystery of the towels has been investigated further. Your reporter has noticed that when she uses a towel and leaves it on the rack with just one fold, she comes back to find a neatly folded towel. Is this a clean towel or the same dirty towel refolded? The application of a discreet smudge of blusher on the corner reveals that it is indeed the same towel refolded. (Hmm, so for how many weeks did she use the same towel on her last cruise, thinking her steward was replacing it for her?) This same smudge of blusher reveals that dirty towels on the floor were indeed replaced, and not folded and put back on the rack.

Again, there are no personal reports of the Laundry Wars, but one of the Hosts left his washing in the machine for well over an hour and returned to an empty laundry and his clothes still in the machine where he had left them. Peace prevailed. However, the same old rumours are circulating the ship, of the dress that was taken from the Laundry and worn by someone else.

Those famous words ‘We cannot help you at this time’ have not yet been heard. The closest was from the staff member in charge of the internet: ‘I cannot understand why my computer can access your Yahoo emails but your laptop cannot. I am sorry. You may just have to persevere. I am crediting you with 30 extra minutes on the internet for your trouble.’

This is Diane, reporting live from Queen Victoria on the Ancient Wonders and Turkish Splendours cruise.

Here is the headline news.

Priority embarkation still works – but the queue through security takes half an hour.

The photographers are indeed waiting just before security, but the only photo taken was of the photographers themselves. Your roving reporter can produce it on demand. All photographers on board smile nicely when passengers indicate disinterest. No cajoling or threats have been in evidence. It is even possible to walk briskly past the photographers and smile at them without being hijacked.

One passenger tried to break the ship before it had even left Southampton. She plugged in a power bank (set of four power boards), flash of light and the power points in the cabin no longer worked. Said passenger calmly reported the loss of power to the room steward, with no mention of the power bank hurriedly stashed back into her suitcase.

On the first evening a long queue was to be seen at the Purser’s Desk. One of the staff walked along the line asking who was there to remove gratuities. Seven people flocked to her clipboard in the five minutes that your reporter watched.

So far only two serious dress infractions have been seen. The first was a woman in floral cotton shirt and casual trousers standing in the Chart Room on a Formal Night. The second was similar. Unfortunately there was no one on hand to impose on-the-spot fines.

Puddles of water on board ship are not a myth. One puddle was noticed in a stateroom on Night 4. Could it have had anything to do with the ice bucket overturned next to it? Two hand towels later and the puddle was dry by morning.

Cruise Critic members may be sparse on the ship but five of them meet daily for Afternoon Tea – to the disgruntlement of the waiters who do not like having a fifth chair at the table. They will adapt.

The night time chocolates are indeed smaller than of yore. This was first reported on Cruise Critic but it has been confirmed by a passenger met in the lift who measured a chocolate from an earlier cruise and compared it with the current ones. The chocolates are currently 34 mm square. Could passengers on later cruises please take note and report any further shrinkage.

Cost-cutting is further evident in the size of the bath robes, to the consternation of one male passenger who jumped out of bed to get his room service breakfast, pulled on the bath robe and discovered it did not cover him. He found that standing side on to the door and holding out one hand for the tray helped to preserve his dignity.

The new band is under the direction of Kerry Maule and features vocalist Claudine Carle. The strict ballroom dancers will find that her emphasis is on performance and she changes timing of the words. The band’s tempo also changes unpredictably at times. However, a dedicated dancer can survive such vicissitudes.

A bottle of wine has gone missing. It was bought as part of a package of three in an onboard sale, but the sommelier has reported that only two of the bottles can be found. More worrying is that he told the diner that her Chenin Blanc has gone missing, when she actually ordered Chinon.

The bar staff in the ballroom are as efficient as ever. Your reporter’s favourite waitress is back, delivering regular glasses of water without even being asked.

Your reporter has not yet braved the Sunbed Wars to report on the use of towels on beds (though a reliable informant has told her of the books left on Deck 10 sunbeds). However, a similar practice is alive and flourishing in the ballroom. One trio puts out their handbags before going to dinner, ready for the 7:45 dancing session, in order to grab pride of place in ‘Barracuda Alley’ (the front row opposite the stage, from which it’s easiest to grab the Dance Hosts). As their favoured position is right in the centre, there is no room left for groups. One clever dancer sends her Aged Aunt to sit for 45 minutes, saving seats on the side for her, your Roving Reporter and others. The 45 minutes between dance sessions is spent by this group saving seats in rotation. They dare not disturb the handbags! Handbag Wars – you heard it first on this site.

The mystery of the towels has been investigated further. Your reporter has noticed that when she uses a towel and leaves it on the rack with just one fold, she comes back to find a neatly folded towel. Is this a clean towel or the same dirty towel refolded? The application of a discreet smudge of blusher on the corner reveals that it is indeed the same towel refolded. (Hmm, so for how many weeks did she use the same towel on her last cruise, thinking her steward was replacing it for her?) This same smudge of blusher reveals that dirty towels on the floor were indeed replaced, and not folded and put back on the rack.

Again, there are no personal reports of the Laundry Wars, but one of the Hosts left his washing in the machine for well over an hour and returned to an empty laundry and his clothes still in the machine where he had left them. Peace prevailed. However, the same old rumours are circulating the ship, of the dress that was taken from the Laundry and worn by someone else.

Those famous words ‘We cannot help you at this time’ have not yet been heard. The closest was from the staff member in charge of the internet: ‘I cannot understand why my computer can access your Yahoo emails but your laptop cannot. I am sorry. You may just have to persevere. I am crediting you with 30 extra minutes on the internet for your trouble.’

EXCELLENT report :) ! Thank you so much for sharing with us, wonderful wit and full of information :) .

So pleased to read that the photographers in the terminal weren't a problem :) .

As for the passenger who tried to break the ship before departure...best overlooked I think, on this occasion (I did have an image of the power bank being plugged in... and lights dimming all over the ship, lifts slowing between decks, galley ovens going cool, hot tubs switching off, and the "hum" from a certain cabin being louder than the on-board announcements ;) :D :) ).

Thank you again... Wonderful, have a great time, I'm looking out for the next report!

Bon Voyage!

This is Diane, reporting live from Queen Victoria on the Ancient Wonders and Turkish Splendours cruise.

Oh good, we had an excellent report from Cruachan recently too. Loving these live reports.

The photographers are indeed waiting just before security, but the only photo taken was of the photographers themselves. Your roving reporter can produce it on demand. All photographers on board smile nicely when passengers indicate disinterest. No cajoling or threats have been in evidence. It is even possible to walk briskly past the photographers and smile at them without being hijacked.

Well, well, well, what a refreshing alternative commentary on the crew. May I say how nice it is not to hear them described as:

• bullies
  
• liars
  
• scammers
  

But are all the photographers accounted for? With recent revelations that some on here feel like "grabbing their cameras and stamping them under foot into little pieces" I had grave concerns for the safety of the crew.

On the first evening a long queue was to be seen at the Purser’s Desk. One of the staff walked along the line asking who was there to remove gratuities. Seven people flocked to her clipboard in the five minutes that your reporter watched.

I've always said this is the case. If there's a queue at the Purser's desk you can be sure at least half the waiting passengers are there to remove their auto-tips.

So far only two serious dress infractions have been seen. The first was a woman in floral cotton shirt and casual trousers standing in the Chart Room on a Formal Night. The second was similar. Unfortunately there was no one on hand to impose on-the-spot fines.

Maybe it's time for a citizens arrest? Floral cotton shirt & casual pants for a formal night - how inconsiderate of everyone else.

But good news that these two unfortunates are in the minority.

Puddles of water on board ship are not a myth. One puddle was noticed in a stateroom on Night 4. Could it have had anything to do with the ice bucket overturned next to it? Two hand towels later and the puddle was dry by morning.

Now, now Fantasy, there's no reason not to blame Cunard for this and write a scathing review. Here's a headline to get you started "Worst cruise ever!!". :D

A bottle of wine has gone missing. It was bought as part of a package of three in an onboard sale, but the sommelier has reported that only two of the bottles can be found. More worrying is that he told the diner that her Chenin Blanc has gone missing, when she actually ordered Chinon.

Hope they find your bottle. They should give you a new one if they can't find it.

The bar staff in the ballroom are as efficient as ever. Your reporter’s favourite waitress is back, delivering regular glasses of water without even being asked.

Would these be the same crew who have been described as "bullies, liars & scammers"? We get such opposing views on the crew, some people like them and others call them the most appalling things.

Again, it's very nice to hear about the crew providing good service, which is overwhelmingly the experience I have when on board.

One trio puts out their handbags before going to dinner, ready for the 7:45 dancing session, in order to grab pride of place in ‘Barracuda Alley’ (the front row opposite the stage, from which it’s easiest to grab the Dance Hosts).

These ladies are brave, I'm not sure I'd leave belongings hanging around for ages. Thinking about it, their handbags are probably empty.

I'm not convinced this is a fair practice.

The mystery of the towels has been investigated further. Your reporter has noticed that when she uses a towel and leaves it on the rack with just one fold, she comes back to find a neatly folded towel. Is this a clean towel or the same dirty towel refolded? The application of a discreet smudge of blusher on the corner reveals that it is indeed the same towel refolded. (Hmm, so for how many weeks did she use the same towel on her last cruise, thinking her steward was replacing it for her?) This same smudge of blusher reveals that dirty towels on the floor were indeed replaced, and not folded and put back on the rack.

Isn't there a sign in the room (or a card) that says if you want your towels replaced to leave them on the floor? I cant remember, but then I always leave my towels on the floor as I like having fresh ones.

However, the same old rumours are circulating the ship, of the dress that was taken from the Laundry and worn by someone else.

Same rumour, different ships. Somebody should start a new rumour.

Those famous words ‘We cannot help you at this time’ have not yet been heard. The closest was from the staff member in charge of the internet: ‘I cannot understand why my computer can access your Yahoo emails but your laptop cannot. I am sorry. You may just have to persevere. I am crediting you with 30 extra minutes on the internet for your trouble.’

Infamous more like. Strange that your every request has not been met with the supposed de facto response of "we cannot help you at this time". The original review where that came from received such strident support you would think that everyone had experienced receiving that response to their every request of a crew member. :confused:

Same rumour, different ships. Somebody should start a new rumour.

But I can't be certain, as it was whispered to me, and is only a rumour.

 

 

Isn't there a sign in the room (or a card) that says if you want your towels replaced to leave them on the floor? I cant remember, but then I always leave my towels on the floor as I like having fresh ones.

 

 

Yes there is usually a little folded card on the shelves in the bathroom.

I heard a rumour that someone is about to.

But I can't be certain, as it was whispered to me, and is only a rumour.

Is it true that the new rumour involves a blue dress?

Yes there is usually a little folded card on the shelves in the bathroom.

I'd read the card, but the stewards somehow make my dirty towels look clean, so I had to check!

Yes there is usually a little folded card on the shelves in the bathroom.

Thanks, I thought so.

I'd read the card, but the stewards somehow make my dirty towels look clean, so I had to check!

Are you on late or early sitting?

Is it true that the new rumour involves a blue dress?

No idea about a blues dress, 'cus that rumour hasn't been rumoured to me yet.

Hope this helps.

Are you on late or early sitting?

I'm on early sitting. I need the maximum time to dance the night away in the ballroom!

We're due on board in 20 minutes so I suppose I'd better leave this internet cafe. It's been great being back in touch. All the best to you and the other regulars.

By the way, I've been sitting in this internet cafe with a couple of staff members. One of them even offered to share his chips with me. You can't criticise the staff to me! The photographer on our tour has been sharing tips with me about the best angles for shots and how to frame them well. Our sommelier expressed interest in seeing my photos tonight as they never get to places like Mdina. All lovely people. (It's okay; it wasn't my bottle of wine he lost but rather a table mate's. He's so apologetic that he's even offered to open her bottle of Pol Acker for her at dinner one night without a charge - or should that be taken as a threat?)

Yes, it is true... there is a new rumour, or so it is rumoured.

No idea about a blues dress, 'cus that rumour hasn't been rumoured to me yet.

Hope this helps.

It does help. My sources tell me that the new rumour revolves around:

• a blue dress
  
• one of the ship's photographers
  
• a dirty towel and
  
• a bowl of pasta
  

How exactly all these things relate to the laundry hasn't yet been explained to me.

I'm on early sitting. I need the maximum time to dance the night away in the ballroom!

 

We're due on board in 20 minutes so I suppose I'd better leave this internet cafe. It's been great being back in touch. All the best to you and the other regulars.

Thank you for taking the time to give us a live update.

By the way, I've been sitting in this internet cafe with a couple of staff members. One of them even offered to share his chips with me. You can't criticise the staff to me! The photographer on our tour has been sharing tips with me about the best angles for shots and how to frame them well. Our sommelier expressed interest in seeing my photos tonight as they never get to places like Mdina. All lovely people. (It's okay; it wasn't my bottle of wine he lost but rather a table mate's. He's so apologetic that he's even offered to open her bottle of Pol Acker for her at dinner one night without a charge - or should that be taken as a threat?)

Thank you for sharing such positive stories about the crew. We read so many diatribes about them on here that it's nice to get the alternative viewpoint.

I do think they should simply replace the bottle of wine, I'm presuming they purchased one of those wine packages?

When we sailed on QV on June Baltic cruise, we could not get water served to us in the Queen's Room while dancing, in spite of twice asking for it. On a third attempt, we were pointed towards a front corner of the room and told if we wanted just water, we needed to get it ourselves. That was new to me, as that hadn't happened on QM2. And we ask for things nicely!

Franky, I was a bit put off, but it was a minor infraction.

As to the ladies who reserve a spot with their purse, they are in the ranks of the towels/books on chairs and I see a fight ensuing sometime in the future.

Funniest things I saw in Queen's Room was the lady who fought with her husband whenever they danced together, and she wanted to dance with the hosts more than with him. As they would not ask her to dance if she was with her husband, she ordered him to sit at the table behind her. If I were him, I'd dance with the other ladies and maybe find a new wife in the process, because this one appeared to be very unappreciative of having a husband who dances.

The observations about the photographers match mine (as reported on here) about 6 weeks ago on the QV to The Baltics - which is good.

I'd not leave my handbag on a chair to reserve it, because:

a) I don't have a handbag, being Mr Toad

b) I'd be worried someone would half-inch it

Maybe they have a secondary, backup bag ? i.e. an empty one they use for the sole purpose of chair-nabbing ?

Thanks, fantasy51 for the great "live" report. I love your writing style! Looking forward to the next installment.

Thanks, fantasy51 for the great "live" report. I love your writing style! Looking forward to the next installment.

Ditto!

What a joy to read and, Fantasy, you are a real asset to this forum.:)

Dancer11

I'd dance with the other ladies and maybe find a new wife in the process, because this one appeared to be very unappreciative of having a husband who dances

Mr. Not-Appreciated-Husband should approach the Handbag-Leaving-Ladies and offer them his services as a dance partner thus removing the need to leave their handbags and his wife's request to move to another table would be granted. ;)

By the way, I've been sitting in this internet cafe with a couple of staff members. One of them even offered to share his chips with me. You can't criticise the staff to me! The photographer on our tour has been sharing tips with me about the best angles for shots and how to frame them well. Our sommelier expressed interest in seeing my photos tonight as they never get to places like Mdina. All lovely people. (It's okay; it wasn't my bottle of wine he lost but rather a table mate's. He's so apologetic that he's even offered to open her bottle of Pol Acker for her at dinner one night without a charge - or should that be taken as a threat?)

This post made me smile...thanks! The last line :D

Oh good, we had an excellent report from Cruachan recently too. Loving these live reports.

Me, too! :)

best regards,

seasidegal

:)

It does help. My sources tell me that the new rumour revolves around:

• a blue dress
  
• one of the ship's photographers
  
• a dirty towel and
  
• a bowl of pasta
  

How exactly all these things relate to the laundry hasn't yet been explained to me.

Whitemarsh,

What happened was the lady wearing the blue dress that she had borrowed from the laundry when the owner wasn't looking,;) wore it to dinner. The photographers came round wanting to take photos at the table, and in the rush a bowl of pasta fell on the blue dress and had to be mopped up with dirty a towel. Simple!

The dress then ended up back in the laundry along with the dirty towel and everyone has been talking about since. This of course happened 15 years ago on QE2 and the dress is now red as it has been dyed to cover up the stains.:D

The photographers are indeed waiting just before security, but the only photo taken was of the photographers themselves. Your roving reporter can produce it on demand. All photographers on board smile nicely when passengers indicate disinterest. No cajoling or threats have been in evidence. It is even possible to walk briskly past the photographers and smile at them without being hijacked.

 

...

 

Those famous words ‘We cannot help you at this time’ have not yet been heard. The closest was from the staff member in charge of the internet: ‘I cannot understand why my computer can access your Yahoo emails but your laptop cannot. I am sorry. You may just have to persevere. I am crediting you with 30 extra minutes on the internet for your trouble.’

That sounds just like the photographers in June when we took the Baltic Explorer cruise. No problems whatsoever, in fact one was extremely helpful in taking a shot of us with a relative ashore in Copenhagen.

I had also Internet problems but was re-credited all my lost minutes.

Could the lady in the Chart room, in unsuitable attire, have been on late sitting and lost track of time?

Could the lady in the Chart room, in unsuitable attire, have been on late sitting and lost track of time?

This is a very good point - on our fjords cruise this summer on QE we loved watching the sailaway along the fjords from the commodore club (with a cocktail of course!) but as we were on late sitting it seemed daft to rush back to our cabin at 6 Cinderella style....it might take me a long time to get ready, but not that long!!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

Fab commentary - that's got to be Post of the Day !!!

:)

 

 

Whitemarsh,

What happened was the lady wearing the blue dress that she had borrowed from the laundry when the owner wasn't looking,;) wore it to dinner. The photographers came round wanting to take photos at the table, and in the rush a bowl of pasta fell on the blue dress and had to be mopped up with dirty a towel. Simple!

The dress then ended up back in the laundry along with the dirty towel and everyone has been talking about since. This of course happened 15 years ago on QE2 and the dress is now red as it has been dyed to cover up the stains.:D

Any rumour that involves both the laundry and a dress can usually be traced back to the QE2, probably circa 1975.

Diane, your review is great. Keep up the good work.:)

Really enjoyable Diane, looking forwards to more.

Hi Diane , Just wondered have you got the camera with you for more secret filming? Channel four may be about;):)!

Keep them coming!;)

Any rumour that involves both the laundry and a dress can usually be traced back to the QE2, probably circa 1975.

 

Diane, your review is great. Keep up the good work.:)

Yes, Louise this old chestnut is even older than the one about the woman who hit the other one in the face with an iron:D Now was this after the red dress disappeared or was it the blue dress that they reinvented, after re dying the red dress after wearing it in the Queens Room. Or maybe it was seen in the Crystal bar on QE2. The plot thickens after all these years.

You have to wonder about these people:);)