Has anyone gone on a cruise to grieve?

People grieve in different ways. Nothing is wrong if it is right for you.

We were on a cruise (repo cruise after a world cruise.) where there were two widows. Both sat alone at a two tops along the MDR railing.

Evidently both had lost their husbands during the world cruise. One went home, buried him and came back to complete the cruise. The other just shipped his body home.

We lost my father-in-law on May 28th to his fourth heart attack. He was an on the road truck driver for the majority of my husband's life, so he/we rarely saw him. He had his third heart attack only 8 days before he passed. He was sent home with us and was able to spend the last three nights comfortable, positive, and happy. He was so excited for the idea of us helping him get healthy and living a longer life, and so were we.

At this point, my husband is still having a very difficult time and feels like he isn't grieving properly. It's honestly been a rough year aside from his father's death. We already had a cruise planned with my parents in April, but we both felt like the two of us really need to get away from everyone and be to ourselves.

I'm hoping this will bring him some peace.

Assuming we don't start a family after April, we're going to begin putting money aside for a land trip (or I might convince him of a cruise ;)) to Hawaii. It will be our next vacation, regardless, as his father always wanted to go see Pearl Harbor. We would be going in October, but it just wasn't possible with also saving money for the cruise in April. I truly wish it had been, but maybe the Caribbean will give us a breath of fresh air.

OH YES!!!

My almost 90 yo Mom cruises with me often -- and I know I'll take a cruise to grieve her passing!!

We started cruising after my husband died, he was 52, and I still attribute my cruises to the life insurance money he left us -- which wasn't much, but it was invested wisely!

A friend of mine has put her mother's ashes in the Sea from the MAGIC. They arrange it all. And I will hope my DD takes my ashes and her Daddy's ashes and take a cruise to leave our ashes in the Caribbean!!!

I've also done a "Remembering" event with a group of cruisers. We had bubbles, we each spoke of the person we were remembering, said prayers, etc at Sunrise on a sea day. It was moving and we had a rainbow appear while we did this!!!

If you don't have a balcony, many ships have Lobby deck outside areas or bow areas through the "not-so-secret-doors" and these are lesser used places to let tears fall and not have so many stare at you!

But I have shed tears on the Lido -- in the MDR -- in the Theater... with thoughts and memories just 'jumping out' and being there. And just quietly grieved...

Bless you and HUGS!!!!

I HOPE AND PRAY you take a cruise to mourn and relax!!!

My Dad died in 2013 a few days before Christmas. He was 91, so it was not sudden. We went on a cruise in January and had a wonderful time. He had never been on a cruise and never desired to go on one after having been on troop transport ships in WWII crossing the Atlantic. He did love motor boats though and I thought of him at every port watching the excursions go out to sea via motor boats and sail boats. He would have enjoyed that. I found the cruise very therapeutic.

My mom died very unexpectedly this past September. Not only did she love cruising, but loved to travel in general. We were very close and did many things together. We talked all the time on the phone as well.

Two months ago, DH and I cruised on the Breeze. Of course, I thought about her every day (as I always do anyways) on the cruise and often going out to my balcony to look up to the heavens and hoping and thinking she was looking down at me and happy for me that I was on my cruise. I felt bad she wasn't there with me to enjoy it.

One night, I went out on the balcony around 11PM, and I saw a bird fly by me on my balcony..back and forth over the ocean several times as the ship kept moving on at a decent speed. I thought it very odd that a bird came out of no where and just kept flying by me. I actually secretly thought maybe it was a sign from my mother that she was looking after me on the cruise. As the bird flew by me once again, I called out to it by whistleing, and the bird flew right to me and landed on my wrist which was leaning on the balcony railing! I kid you not! I was so startled it did this, I pulled my hand away. The bird flew off. DH saw the bird again on the balcony very briefly the next morning. ;)

My mom died very unexpectedly this past September. Not only did she love cruising, but loved to travel in general. We were very close and did many things together. We talked all the time on the phone as well.

 

Two months ago, DH and I cruised on the Breeze. Of course, I thought about her every day (as I always do anyways) on the cruise and often going out to my balcony to look up to the heavens and hoping and thinking she was looking down at me and happy for me that I was on my cruise. I felt bad she wasn't there with me to enjoy it.

 

One night, I went out on the balcony around 11PM, and I saw a bird fly by me on my balcony..back and forth over the ocean several times as the ship kept moving on at a decent speed. I thought it very odd that a bird came out of no where and just kept flying by me. I actually secretly thought maybe it was a sign from my mother that she was looking after me on the cruise. As the bird flew by me once again, I called out to it by whistleing, and the bird flew right to me and landed on my wrist which was leaning on the balcony railing! I kid you not! I was so startled it did this, I pulled my hand away. The bird flew off. DH saw the bird again on the balcony very briefly the next morning. ;)

That is really lovely.

And I bet it was from your mom.

That you were free to fly and enjoy.

You'll find that there are always several families onboard during the holiday season to escape from home. We typically try and stay away from places that are overly Christmassy and the ship works for us. We sailed Sailed to Mexico over Xmas after our 20 yr old son died of an enlarged heart. He was working for Princess at one of their Alaska summer lodges when it happened. We're definitely not ready to do an Alaskan cruise but we do still cruise with Princess. Cam loved to cruise with us. Love and miss him.

We had been caring for my mum for a long time as she had motor neurone we had planned a cruise and for her to be looked after while we were away the week before we left she became very ill and died on the Thursday we had the funeral on the sat (we do funerals very quick we're we live) my daughter packed our cases and we flew to Barcelona on the Sunday morning and sailed Sunday afternoon

Before she died she insisted that we go on the cruise it was a little strange but my wife and I were both physically and mentally exhausted

We just spent the time doing nothing. On port days we just walked round the shops and sat in cafés drinking coffee it's a strange thing to say but yes we had a good time well as good as possible

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I took a cruise to grieve the passing of my Granddad a few years back, who was pretty much my Dad when I was growing up. It was 3 months after his death when I booked a trip for 2 weeks later.

Everyone knew what had happened, and I couldn't escape people's well-intentioned questions and awkward conversations about how I was doing. I woke up one day and decided that I needed to get away to clear my thoughts.

My then-boyfriend-now-husband was very supportive of my last-minute cruise plans, got the time needed off of work to join me, and helped me cope with my grief on the high seas.

To this day, I'm glad I took that trip. Sometimes, escapism can be a good thing.

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I've been doing the distraction stuff since my daughter died almost a year ago. Our cruise last December was a welcome escape from everything. Just a way to step out of the present picture and do something different and relaxing.

I remember reading your post questioning whether you should go on the cruise after you lost her. My heart broke for you then (my only child - a daughter was within a couple of years of your daughter's age) and I could never imagine what you were going through. I responded to your post then, expressing my sympathy.

I'm so happy that you went and that it helped. I still think of you often, and my heart goes out to you. God Bless you and your family.

My mom died very unexpectedly this past September. Not only did she love cruising, but loved to travel in general. We were very close and did many things together. We talked all the time on the phone as well.

 

Two months ago, DH and I cruised on the Breeze. Of course, I thought about her every day (as I always do anyways) on the cruise and often going out to my balcony to look up to the heavens and hoping and thinking she was looking down at me and happy for me that I was on my cruise. I felt bad she wasn't there with me to enjoy it.

 

One night, I went out on the balcony around 11PM, and I saw a bird fly by me on my balcony..back and forth over the ocean several times as the ship kept moving on at a decent speed. I thought it very odd that a bird came out of no where and just kept flying by me. I actually secretly thought maybe it was a sign from my mother that she was looking after me on the cruise. As the bird flew by me once again, I called out to it by whistleing, and the bird flew right to me and landed on my wrist which was leaning on the balcony railing! I kid you not! I was so startled it did this, I pulled my hand away. The bird flew off. DH saw the bird again on the balcony very briefly the next morning. ;)

That is really lovely.

And I bet it was from your mom.

That you were free to fly and enjoy.

I agree :)

Do you have younger children (younger than she was)? That has been my life preserver...having the two younger ones. My daughter is now 15 almost 16 and my youngest is another son, who is now about to turn 12. They need me. Otherwise I would have crossed over to the other side about the time I came out of the fog (around three to four months post death). Amazingly, I'm still married and our family is still in tact. All by the Grace of our Lord. No other way to explain that one.

 

We cruise once a year now. I call it our "memorial trip." It in a way has been another life saver for my family. It gives us all something to look forward to each year...keeps us going and focusing on the horizon instead of the constant looking backward. Even five years out (death was 6/12/09), we STILL need a respite from our grief. These cruises really help us.

 

 

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OMG! My daughter passed on 6/12/09! She had a heart attack on 6/6/09 and was taken off life support 6/12/09. You and I were in hell at the same time! I do have a younger son, but he's 34 now. She was 34 at the time of passing. She was mentally the age of a 3 yr. old, but in good health. NOT! Nothing else to focus on but her death. I lost my job 8 months before because my boss died suddenly. It's been a long road, as you know, and everyone here knows. Thank God there is cruising for respite!

I have learned to live with her as she is now. It takes a while and it's not a process. If grief was a process, there would be an end! For the OP, don't let anyone tell you to get over it. There's no time limit. If you feel like you could take that cruise, take it! NO GUILT!

My dad was Mom's caregiver before he got sick 4 years ago himself. Then I became the caregiver for both of them. Dad died 2 years ago and Mom just passed away in May. I'm going on my first cruise in Sept and look forward to some quiet time to just absorb how life's changed, pray and let my soul be renewed by the sea.

May those who are cruising while grieving find the peace they are looking for.

My dad was Mom's caregiver before he got sick 4 years ago himself. Then I became the caregiver for both of them. Dad died 2 years ago and Mom just passed away in May. I'm going on my first cruise in Sept and look forward to some quiet time to just absorb how life's changed, pray and let my soul be renewed by the sea.

 

May those who are cruising while grieving find the peace they are looking for.

Sorry for your loss! It's hard to lose our parents, even if they were sick. It's the end of how life used to be. When my dad past suddenly we were all (sisters and I) trying to help my mom through it and there was no time for us to grieve. I imagine it was the same for you.

A cruise is a good place to gather your thoughts. There are plenty of areas inside and out that aren't crowded. I love to go in the library and just look at the books and sit in a corner where you're not bothered.

Take care and don't be afraid to enjoy the cruise as much as you can.

We just lost our 19 year old son Kevin on May 22nd, in a car accident. There was never any doubt that we would still be going on our Liberty cruise. He loved to cruise, and was looking forward to being able to gamble in the casino, and share a drink with us on the islands. We know he will be there with us in spirit!! In fact, we booked a 5 day cruise on the Fascination for just prior to the Liberty cruise, to give us more time at sea. Yes, there will be some tears, but mostly of joy, as we have so many wonderful memories of cruising with him. Sitting at home and wallowing in pity was never, and never will be, an option. Kevin wouldn't stand for that!!!

My sympathy on the tragic loss of your son but my, what a wonderful outlook and inspiration. Having just retired after 30 years as an ER/Trauma RN I watched too many grieving people simply stop living. Going through the grief process is indeed different for each individual but I must compliment you on your fresh, uplifting outlook. Bless you and yes, Kevin will indeed be with you on all your future cruises. :)

Yes my husband and I did it was very relaxing we went by ourselves and just laughed and cried and stayed on our balcony and just talked about my mother in law. The trip was already planned because we were her caretakers and wanted a get away and thought we would have to cancel because we couldn't leave her because of her illness but she left us and now watches over us.

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Absolutely! My first husband passed away unexpectedly at the age of 50. We had no children; just him and I. He was my best friend and I had a difficult time dealing with my loss. About 9 months after his passing, I felt I needed to get away and I wanted to do something that we had never done. I had never cruised before and decided to go on one. I went by myself. It was very good therapy for me. I had time to think and reflect on our time together. I truly believe it was my first step towards healing. I met another young woman on that cruise and we started chatting. Imagine my surprise when I found out she had also been widowed recently. I truly believe that God put us both there for a reason. Not only did I start my healing process and met a new friend, I also got hooked on cruising! I am off on my 15th cruise this October. Sorry for the rambling reply, I just wanted to share my experience.

Condolences and prayers to all..enjoying the thread..nobody ever talks about it..Sarah

I couldn't have said it better!!

I am most at peace when on a cruise ship. At 45 I will be taking my 22nd in a couple months, and all who are close to me, know that I want to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled at sea. Part of it, is so who ever is closest at the time can experience that peace I feel at sea....

This is an amazing thread. I have not cruised to grieve but on every cruise I have taken I have found myself reflecting on the people I have lost. There's something about the sea, especially watching the wake, that is so peaceful.

My husband passed away in July of 2012. Since then, I have taken a solo cruise for his birthday each year. The first year was only 10 weeks after his death and was probably more of a "running away" from having to be strong for the family....but since then I see it as a way to continue our tradition of doing something wonderful for his birthday. My husband comes with me via his photo on my nightstand in the cabin...and I make sure to drink his favorite cocktail on his birthday :eek:! Yes....it is still difficult at times...especially having to see so many loving couples...but I believe the people I have met on each cruise were sent from above to be in my life for a reason at that time. Take time to grieve...but try to stay open to allowing others into your life....even if its only for a few days!

Sending you love and hugs!

I'm surprised at so many that are willing to talk about this subject here. God knows that I have brought my daughters death into some threads many times. I think even one similar to this a few years back.

It takes a long time to want to live again after the death of someone close to you. I think that bringing grief into this board is a way to lift some of the burden of those that might be feeling guilt for even wanting to go. Remember that you can't be guilty of something if you've done nothing wrong. My grief therapist told me this.

Maybe there should be meetings on board like Friends of Bill, etc. I hate to say that "misery loves company", but in a way it's true.

As the years go by, I haven't gotten "better", but I have gotten better at hiding my grief.

In 2006 our son passed from cancer. About a month passed when I suggested to my wife that we needed to plan a cruise to help us come out of the "funk" we were in. We used the cruise as a turning point in our grief process. We were blessed with many surprises, including a double upgrade to a deluxe suite and on pre-cruise, our first Rome restaurant they randomly played our sons fave song "the dance" by Garth Brooks. It was played at his funeral service. We both balled, but it was a watershed moment in our healing.

In 2006 our son passed from cancer. About a month passed when I suggested to my wife that we needed to plan a cruise to help us come out of the "funk" we were in. We used the cruise as a turning point in our grief process. We were blessed with many surprises, including a double upgrade to a deluxe suite and on pre-cruise, our first Rome restaurant they randomly played our sons fave song "the dance" by Garth Brooks. It was played at his funeral service. We both balled, but it was a watershed moment in our healing.

Something similar happened to me last year. There's a beautiful version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by a Hawaiian artist. That song was played at my Grandfather's funeral. He was in pretty good health before the illness that took his life a few years ago, and I'd always been so, so heartbroken that I wouldn't get to have him walk me down the aisle or dance with me at my wedding.

One night during my honeymoon cruise last year, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played in the dining room. Lucky for me, we just had a table for two that night, as I just about lost it. But, in a way, it also made me feel happy. Like my Granddad was saying "Hi," and had been with me at the wedding, after all.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your son and glad that healing is taking place.

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While my husband, daughter, and I are taking the cruise in the next few weeks to get away after my fathers death 6 weeks ago we had a spring break cruise planned for next year. It is the Exotic Carribean cruise that my parents wanted to take before my dad died - his ALS just progressed too fast. I'm so excited that we finally convinced my mom to come, we had to pay a little more because we got a new room so my daughter could stay with her but to finally see her excited, well, you just can't put a price on that. It will be bittersweet that Dad isn't there physically but I know he will be there in spirit. I think that it is 8 months away also gives her time to have something to look forward to and we all know planning is half the fun so it will keep her mind occupied.

My Father passed away on 11/4/2012. We had a cruise scheduled, but canceled it. He had been sick and had a series of strokes. So we knew this was coming. Just 11 months later 10/24/2013 my Mom passed away suddenly. It was totally out of left field. NO one expected her to pass away. I was devastated. Just like the year before, we had a cruise planned. I was going to cancel and my family advised me to take the trip.

So DH and I went on our cruise. My first Carnival cruise let me add. I spent time on the balcony laughing and crying. We made a friend on the roll call board who had and aft balcony and he let me use it to throw roses of the back on the ship in her honor.

Once the CD was notified of the situation he constantly checked in on me. Even sent strawberries and champagne to the room. It was a nice get away from everything, just for a little while. I think it can be highly therapeutic and if you have to opportunity to go, you should.