Mom is trying my patience!

July 1st we booked a cruise for Jan 2nd. We invited my mom since it is for her birthday and she has never been on any trip not involving a car ride. She is such an outdoors person usually her vacations involve mountain climbing or hiking. I know she would love cruising because the ports are full of outdoor activities she will love! I know she drives to Key West to go snorkling and has gotten her SCUBA certification but has only used it a few times in Key West. Anyway, we booked a room for her and my son to share and I asked her to please get her passport. She has had since July to do this and I asked her today for the number so I would have it when we make the final payment on Saturday. In fact she got rather mad and started yelling at me about what a pain it is to get. She does't work regular hours and she usually has a day off during the week, so I don't see what an inconvience it is for her to do it. I know it isn't the price for it and I told her I would certainly pay for it way back in July. I sent her the stuff for her Birth Certificate, I sent her the forms for the Passport, I sent her the addresses of two offices near her that does it, I told her where to go to get the picture for it. What else do I have to do get her there this week? Take a vacation day so I can drive the 250 miles to her house and make her go, or just cancel her trip and say too bad. I do not want hassles at the port about her ID's and I believe passports are a failsafe against any ID issures. Believe me if she goes there will be a problem so she can say it is my fault. I was just trying to be nice and give her a great birthday present.

What are the ports of call on this cruise?

Just taking a wild guess, but do you think your mom might have a fear of being on a cruise ship? I understand she does scuba dive but I know some people have fears being trapped with strangers on a cruise ship. Or worse, the ship sinking. I hope you can get your Mom to come out of her funk and have a great time with you!:)

For me since I know my parents well, after all these years, I would prefer to ask them where they want to go. I know surprises are nice and are meant well, but when our parents get older, I don't know what it is, but I'd just rather ask them.

A passport is nice and all but your mom only really needs a birth certificate. Which you can get for her by using the vital statistic of your state she was born. A lot easier to get. And I am sure she has a state issued drivers license with a photo on it. thats all you really need.

OK my mom knows she is going on the cruise, and she is really excited about it, especially since one of the stops is Key West and she has a friend who owns a dive boat and he is taking her out the day we are there and she has already talked to Costa regarding the diving excursions in Grand Cayman. My mom is hardly old enouh to classify as older too, she will be just turning 52. She just has this thing about doing stuff that is needed to be done. She has her birth certificate and she is married but changed her last name to something totally different than her maiden name or either married names. That is the whole reason for the passport, I do not think that her DL and BC and Marriage License will be sufficent, since only one will have her correct name. I am sure she isn't going to bring a whole folder of papers to go on a trip, and if she did she certainly would forget something and they won't let her board. That is MY luck, to pay for an extra room and she won't get to go. She is just one of those people that only likes to do things on her time and her way.

Jenn,

Mom needs to bite the bullet and get the passport. It is good for 10 years and it is the only form of I.D. she will need as it has her photo in it. The least she can do is respect the fact that you paid for the cruise and could be in financial jeopardy if she is denied boarding at the port. She is running out of time with the all the name mismatches. If worse comes to worse and she is denied boarding at the pier tell here you will have a drink in her honor as you put your passports in the safe in your cabin while she makes the long drive home wondering what happened.

Just my opinion.

mcboo

yikes. that IS a mess. what name is her cruise documents in? how about her license.

I'm no psycologist, but sounds to me like your mom doesn't really want to go -- or maybe she doesn't want to pay the money it costs for a passport. What's her financial condition? It seems like very little to ask of someone to do. She must have some other underlying problem that's stopping her. If she thinks getting a passport is a pain in the neck, what does she think about the time and effort you put in to booking the cruise!

Her Cruise Docs match her DL, but with all of this debate about what documents to bring and what countries want a passport this week, a passport seemed to be the most logical solution. She changed her name back to her father's original family name, the one they had before they came to the US. Immigration changed their last name way back in the 20's at Ellis Island. Why she did this I haven't a clue. I think I am calling Calgon and a large Cosmo tonight. Oh and money certainly is not an issue and she certainly would not have even put any effort about finding out about excursions if she didn't want to go, she would have simply said no, she is open about things like that. I would think that anyone that would take 10 day bus tour of the northeast alone wouldn't have any worries about being on a ship.

Jenn,

Cosmos for everyone!!

Enjoy

mcboo

Hmmm, sounds like she enjoys making you nuts! I always tell my husband, "The next time I want to do something nice for someone, kick me!" No good deed goes unpunished.

what countries want a passport this week, a passport seemed to be the most logical solution. .

Most places that a cruise ship will take you to do not require a passport. The birth certificate is all the is needed. And it is ok to have her maiden name on the bith certificate. As long as her name matches the state issued ID and documents. Birth certificate is to show Citzenship.

If she does end up going Key West may be the only place she will be able to get off the boat! If that happens tell her bye as you depart for the excursions everywhere else and that you'll take lots of pictures for her!

I understand what you're going through. My Mom is driving me nuts too.My SO and I booked our cruise last month. I told my Mom and she was so happy for us that my SO said "why don't you come too". We talked about and she said "all right! I'm going too" I goet all the prices and info because she is in a wheelchair and told her to let know and I would book the cruise for her to make it easier. She came out to the house today and said she decided she didn't want to go because all her friends at the Senior Center said she would not have a good time and a cruise was not for her. AGHHH! They told her there would be nothing to do,it would be too hard for her to get around and she would have to stand in long lines to get any food. Now,I know none of that is true but she believes her friends,so I'm not gonna try and change her mind. Like you said,no good deed goes unpunished.

Laura

Laura: Sounds like your mom is allowing herself to miss out on a lot -- what a shame. I was shocked that my mom agreed to go on a cruise at all because she's so afraid of becoming sea sick, and she just may talk herself into it too! I booked a two-night cruise to nowhere for fear that if she does get sick at least it will only be for two nights and maybe I'll only hear about it for the next couple of years. :)

Marly

I am a psychologist and Mom sounds a bit overwhelmed. It doesn't seem that she is trying to drive you crazy or is ungrateful at all. It sounds as if she really wants to go on the cruise. She has a lot of documents and even you are confused about it. Is it possible she is a bit depressed?

How about if she goes to a local travel agent (local to her) and asks for help in this situation. She could offer to pay the person for their assistance in helping her to get whatever documentation she will need for this cruise together.

It doesn't seem that Mom will be able to do this herself. I know she is young. Age is not always a factor. If she is even mildly depressed this could be too much for her. The cruise will do wonders for her as well. It will be great for her to spend the time with you and your family.

She seems to need some professional help in sorting this out.

Linda

Jenn, Serene's right - as long as her cruise docs and her dr.license have the same name, that's what matters. Last name on b/cert. doesn't factor in at all. I know you'd prefer that she get a passport, but it just doesn't look like that's gonna happen.

Solution: Tell her she can either get her act together (nicely, of course), OR she can stand on the dock and wave bye-bye to y'all! Oh, and be sure and take a picture of her waving, since it's the only souvenier she'll have from the cruise.:rolleyes:

Jenn,

What a great thing to do for your Mom. I wish I could get mine to agree to go on a trip like that! With her name change, etc. if and when she does apply for the passport, you may want to pay extra at this point for expedited service.

My mother had a problem getting her passport back in 1992 simply because her Birth Certificate said Elizabeth and her Driver's License and I think Marriage license said Betty! We were scheduled to fly to Europe on Christmas Day, and although my Father's passport came the first week of December, hers was delayed and arrived with only 2 days to spare. It made for a nailbiting time as the Passport was required for her to go!

Hope you get your Mom to come around soon!

She will need the paper that allowed her to change her name to what it is now. Plus BC and DL. Ask her if she would perfer one form of ID to three or four. It worked for me.

I agree with Cotton. Mom needs to get her act together. Lay it on the line. Either she gets the passport or forget the cruise. Lots of things are a pain in the butt to do, so she can decide if she really wants to go. Explain she cannot wait until the last minute.

The name change thing makes it messy. No way would I want to show up at the dock with this name changing mess.

Good Luck !

Call me crazy, but doesn't almost every married woman in the United States have a different name on her license than on her birth certificate??? The cruise lines are aware of this lol. Now from a different point of view, I love using a pass port because it's the only ID you need and those birth certificates can get dog eared and torn easily. But it's not needed, never was, not even for women.

Call me crazy, but doesn't almost every married woman in the United States have a different name on her license than on her birth certificate??? The cruise lines are aware of this lol. Now from a different point of view, I love using a pass port because it's the only ID you need and those birth certificates can get dog eared and torn easily. But it's not needed, never was, not even for women.

You're correct in your first sentence, of course. But that isn't the question. All the cruiselines look at to be the same is the name on the DL and cruise documents. These two have to be the same name.

I have a passport, and think that's the best way to go. However, I really don't understand your last sentence.....:confused:

OK, I thought it made perfect sense. Read the sentence. A pass port is not needed not even for women who have a different last name on their BC than their DL. The last name on the BC isn't going to be the same for a woman who is married and changed her name. What is so hard to understand about that???? Anyway, point I was trying to make was you do not need a pass port, period. It's more convenient, and I use one now, but I cruised 8 times without one.

I said (agreed) thatyour first sentence makes sense. Of course you are correct - everybody knows most women have a different last name from what's on their birth certificate.

Now, on to the other:

I totally agree that a passport is the easiest way to go.

However, IF a person (male or female) chooses not to get a passport, then the cruiseline says the passenger's name MUST be the same on these two items: Driver's License and Cruise Documents. The D/L has a name and picture, and the name must be the same as on the cruise documents.

Simple.:)

I think women should keep their names! Why do we change our names anyway? It's incovenient and confusing. Ladies revolt!

LOL -- just thought I'd stir things up a little.