To be, or not to be...a shrimp

With all of the furore in recent days regarding these tiny creatures, this is my take on the whole Shrimpgate situation...

Yesterday evening.....

Reports have come in of ugly scenes aboard the Carnival Shrimp tonight after a passenger took the last ever shrimp cocktail in the lido buffet.

 

The cruise director had tried to calm the protesters with chocolate cake but to no avail. In the end he was forced to run his tighty whitey's up the flagpole in clear submission against the baying mob who were demanding their shrimp cocktails be reinstated.

 

The cruise line issued a statement saying that no matter what, the shrimps would not be returning anytime soon...sources say that the shrimpgate conspiracy was started by a group of unruly lobsters who refused to co-operate and be boiled alive, the shrimps came to the rescue and were summarily sacked by the cruise line for breaking their contract of employment.

 

No shrimps were available for comment, however one shrimp unofficially told reporters that he quite enjoyed the passenger food fight as it had been about time they wore the hot arse sauce instead of the shrimps.....

And today's edition....

Reports are coming in that negotiations are underway between Carnival and the leader of the Crustacean Union, Mr Pinky Prawn, this evening.

 

After the ugly scenes reported aboard Carnival Shrimp last night, the two sides went to arbitration & mediation in an effort to sort out their differences following the revolting shrimps & lobsters had brought the galley to a standstill after the lobsters refused to co-operate with the chef, Ivor Biggun, and be placed into boiling water to die.

 

Although negotiations are indeed ongoing, the passengers are still simmering in their fight to retain their cherished shrimp cocktails, many stated to reporters that it was their human right to eat them and that their children had experienced not only severe withdrawal symptoms but also insomnia that had caused the parents to miss the late night comedy show on board.

 

John Heald, the cruise director, who so valiantly tried to calm the baying passengers last night is understood to be confined to his cabin after he ran naked around the jogging track in total dispair at losing his favourite tighty whitey's up the flagpole last night.

 

So far the negotiations have been amicable, although there is some doubt as to whether an agreement to reinstate the shrimps can be reached due to them escaping to another cruise vessel, the much maligned Norwegian Epic Escape.

 

The lobsters, in the meantime, have been seen picketing the galleys, forcing the passengers to suffer the indignities of eating Spam sandwiches & fritters..

Make of the above what you will, it was written to lighten up the mood a little and to add a bit of fun to the proceedings.

I originally posted it on John Heald's Facebook page and he, with many others, have found it very enjoyable & funny. For such a tiny crustacean, the humble shrimp sure does seem to pack one heck of a punch with some of you....

;)

Bahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha :D:D Hysterical!!!! Thanks for the great laugh and big smile on my face!!

Brilliant!!!! This is Gold, ryder ;)

I laughed myself silly on the FB page, still laughing, tnx again!

I agree this was very funny :)

O M G :eek: Thank you thank you thank you

This is so funny!! I can't stop laughing!!:D

Huge topic kick.

Read and laugh, people, this is so much more fun then all the whining about the new menu's :d:d:d:d

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! :D too funnny!

With all of the furore in recent days regarding these tiny creatures, this is my take on the whole Shrimpgate situation...

 

Yesterday evening.....

 

 

 

And today's edition....

 

 

 

Make of the above what you will, it was written to lighten up the mood a little and to add a bit of fun to the proceedings.

 

I originally posted it on John Heald's Facebook page and he, with many others, have found it very enjoyable & funny. For such a tiny crustacean, the humble shrimp sure does seem to pack one heck of a punch with some of you....

 

;)

time to create a facebook personality page about a missing shrimp.

btw, just don't get caught up by the distraction. the shrimp is a diversion to the downgraded menus. they are hoping once the shrimp is restored, everyone sighs collectively thinking they won, when the downgraded menu remains.

Funny stuff!!!

This is absolutely hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!!:D

We love them

Hysterical!!!! :D

There is an unconfirmed rumor that Crystal, Oceana and Azamara have requested that Carnival ships maintain a seperation of at least 500 yards during dining hours for fear that passengers will attempt to board them when they smell the shrimp being prepared.

Please pass the monitor squeegee! Mine is all messed up now!

Following all night negotiations tween Carnival & the leader of the Crustcean Union, Mr Pinky Prawn, it has been announced that the Tiger Prawns have now joined the shrimps & lobsters in an all out strike.

The latest development comes after several shrimp were manhandled by security outside the galley aboard Carnival Shrimp last night. The chef, Ivor Biggun, allegedly grabbed a shrimp by its tail and threatened to drown it in 357 sauce to teach it a lesson. The Tiger Prawns with the help of several lobsters pounced on Ivor Biggun, held him down and slapped him around the face with wet lettuce leaves until he released the distressed shrimp from his grasp.

The current condition of the shrimp victim is not known although Mr Pinky Prawn hopes that his injuries are not life threatening. The shrimp's next of kin have been informed and the local police have been informed.

In other developements, it has been revealed that the boss of Carnival is about to abseil down onto Carnival Shrimp to take over from the now completely insane CD, John Heald, who has been made into a shivering wreck since the Shrimpgate situation started a few days ago.....more details later today...

btw, just don't get caught up by the distraction. the shrimp is a diversion to the downgraded menus. they are hoping once the shrimp is restored, everyone sighs collectively thinking they won, when the downgraded menu remains.

LOL this is the funniest post. It's so funny to see this loser be so consistently negative.

Cool story bro!

LOL this is the funniest post. It's so funny to see this loser be so consistently negative.

 

Cool story bro!

What'll be really funny is when they start serving pretzel sticks and cheez whiz for dinner and the people who made them what they are leave for greener pastures and Larry the Cable Guy is doing 7 nights in the comedy club. Now that'll be funny!

OMG! This is hilarious!

You should all read the last part of John Heald's blog from last night...it will have you rolling as well! :D

:D That was GREAT!! Thanks for sharing that and giving me a laugh :D

And there's more this afternoon...

Latest reports from the Carnival Shrimp where protests by passengers over the removal of the shrimp cocktails have caused all out strikes by shrimps, lobsters & tiger prawns has taken a tragic step tonight.

 

The shrimp that had been attacked by chef, Ivor Biggun, has died of its injuries. Ivor Biggun has been charged with assault & battery & actual bodily harm leading to the death of the shrimp this afternoon.

 

Mr Pinky Prawn, leader of the Crustacean Union expressed his deep sympathy to the shrimp's family & friends saying that the chef would have no mercy shown to him at his trial and that as a result of this slaughter of an innocent shrimp, the cocktails are definitely off the menu for the foreseeable future.

 

The boss of Carnival who abseiled down to Carnival Shrimp this afternoon was not available for contact, the now straight jacketed CD, John Heald, was under sedation in his cabin being cared for by Ketut. The negotiations are tween the sides are frozen as a mark of respect to the brave little shrimp who died fighting his corner this afternoon..

;)

With all of the furore in recent days regarding these tiny creatures, this is my take on the whole Shrimpgate situation...

 

Yesterday evening.....

 

 

 

And today's edition....

 

 

 

Make of the above what you will, it was written to lighten up the mood a little and to add a bit of fun to the proceedings.

 

I originally posted it on John Heald's Facebook page and he, with many others, have found it very enjoyable & funny. For such a tiny crustacean, the humble shrimp sure does seem to pack one heck of a punch with some of you....

 

;)

You can get shrimp coctail at dennys. Shrimp is fish bait, I guess the lovely trailer army will miss their shrimp.;)

You can get shrimp coctail at dennys. ;)

It's not on their menu. They do have fried shrimp and grilled shrimp though.

I agree this was very funny :)

ditto:D