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Wedding Gown for Vow Renewal-Tacky?


mjbelen
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Ok-I asked this question on the wedding boards, but now realize that I need to ask the real experts. My husband and I are planning to renew our vows for our 30th Wedding Anniversary on the Radiance. My husband plans to wear a tux. I did not wear a wedding gown when we were married and I have always regretted it. :( I want to wear a wedding gown for the service, but since I am just over 50, I don't know if this would be appropriate. I would attempt to find a simple gown with little or no train.

 

Am I fooling myself. Did I miss my one shot at this? Will most of the woman and some of the men point at me and giggle. If anything, this would highly motivate me to go back on my diet. I'd really like some honest answers.

 

Thanks.

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I think a "wedding gown" would look kind of silly, to be honest.

 

That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing a lovely, long off-white, creme or champagne colored gown. If you keep it simple (think Vera Wang style), then you'll simply look elegant.

 

If you have long hair, wear it up and put some pretty white roses in it for a more bridal look.

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I certainly don't think you would look silly in a wedding dress but I think there are better choices. I could see you in a romantic long cream or pastel gown, perhaps off the shoulder or empire waisted or even an elegant silk evening suit. I am sure that you both will treasure your very special day so be sure to get some pictures for posterity.

Congratulations!

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I disagree, go for it. I know what you mean about missing it because I did the same thing twice. Never did get the white gown, flowers, etc. What the heck, life's short, and who cares what people you will never see again think?

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I'm with Catsix, go for it, if that's what you want. How would people know that you just didn't ACTUALLY get married anyway? People are certainly not going to giggle and laugh at you. If anything, people will be saying congratualtions (thinking you just got married of course). My Mom and Step-Dad were married by the Justice of the peace and she didn't even have any flowers to hold (she has always complained about that). I desperately tried to get them to renew their vows for their 25th wedding anniversary so she could have those flowers (but they wouldn't go for it). I'm sure whatever you decide will look lovely. Have a great time.

 

Tammy

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I vote for the wedding dress. This is your one and only life -- do what makes you happy. You deserve the opportunity to wear a wedding dress. Don't deny yourself this simple wish. Obviously the first time around you regretted the decision not to wear a wedding gown. Don't make that mistake again!!! Let's face it, white isn't about being a virgin anymore. If it were, oh my, there would be very few white wedding gowns. Grab a girlfriend/sister/daughter and hit the bridal shops. Find the dress of your dreams -- don't get what anyone "thinks" is "appropriate" for you. Buy the dress you fall in love with to renew your vows with the man you fell in love with. No one will be laughing, I promise you. Everyone loves a wedding and everyone loves a bride no matter what age. And everyone loves to see a couple in love. GO FOR IT! :)

P.S. Don't forget to post pictures when you get back!!! :D

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I had to chime in on this! :p

 

I'm with Martinimama & Tammy! This is your special occasion and I think you ought to do what makes you feel happy and special! I think a wedding gown is entirely appropriate and who cares what other people think!! Those that are snotty enough to laugh and poke fun are the ones who are actually envious of you and your loving relationship with your husband! I think too often people hold back from what would really make them happy for fear of what others may think! Life is too short and too precious not to live to the fullest. So I say go shopping for that perfect wedding gown and be Queen for a day! Your DH will not be able to take his eyes off you!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! :D

 

Lexi

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As long as the wedding dress is simple and age appropriate, then go for it. It's just my opinion, but to wear something that a 20-something would wear just wouldn't look right, and I think the real fashion experts (the ones who write for bridal magazines) would agree. Nothing too frou-frou or over the top would look lovely. And, again just my opinion, no long veil with a fancy headpiece. Just a simple updo with flowers is more age appropriate.

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Who cares what "the real fashion experts" have to say???? What is "age appropriate"???? I guess that's decided by "the real fashion experts." Why should it be "simple"???

This YOUR LIFE --- not the "fashion experts" life. PLEASE DO NOT be told what to wear! Choose the dress that you like -- if you don't, you will regret this for the rest of your life. This is your opportunity to make up for and to have what you didn't earlier. GO FOR IT!!! Your ceremony isn't going to be on the cover of Vogue no matter what dress you pick so WHO CARES what other people think is "appropriate." Don't miss your chance to fulfill your dream of wearing a whatever wedding dress you want to wear --- this is YOUR day, LIVE it, ENJOY it and REMEMBER it for the rest of your life.... PLEASE!!!! :)

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Picture yourself 30 years from now looking back at your life through photo albums --- do you want to see yourself in a dress that some salesgirl told you was "age appropriate" or do you want to see yourself in the most beautiful wedding gown that you absolutely loved???

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I'd really like some honest answers.

 

Thanks.

You posted here because you wanted a general consensus of opinions. You need to consider the occasion, your body type and YES....your age when selecting a wedding dress. IMO, flat our replies to wear what you want and ignore anyone else's (including a professional's) opinion is not what you asked for. Chances are YOU will know when you are in the RIGHT dress for you. Having a friend or two with you will give you some objective opinions. I agree with the previous post about skipping a veil, etc and opting for an up-do (if your hair is long enough) and using fancy clips, combs, barretts, head band, etc embellished with rhinestones, flowers or bridal accessories. You can certainly get away with a floor length dress (with no train). I'm sure there are plenty of choices of styles and colors in bridal shops.

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Yes, Yes, Yes!! Do it. I have been to several weddings lately for brides from 40 -60. What they all had in common was that they used their personal sense of style and wore the wedding dress of their dreams. Age has nothing to do with it anymore. For wedding or vow renewals, it is your celebration of a lifelong commitment. I say pull out all the stops and wear the bridal gown of YOUR dreams!

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Hey, mj, I see you're from Lake Worth, too. I was looking for formal gowns and there's a bridal shop in Boynton Beach in a shopping plaza right by the BB mall, next to Men's Wearhouse. There's a big Old Navy in there, too. I can't remember the name of it but they're having a big sale and they had some beautiful wedding gowns. I'm about your age and if I was going to marry my husband again, which right now sounds less than appealing to me, I would do it up right. As it is, I bought a black formal strapless gown with a HUGE tulle skirt, so big, in fact, I had to put it in one of those space bags because there was no other way to pack it. I love it and feel special in it and if anyone thinks it's too young for me or whatever, I truly don't care.

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Go with your heart and you'll never be wrong. There are only two opinions you need to worry about - yours and your husband's. No one else matters, do they?

 

Congratulations and have a great day! :)

 

Beth

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Congratulations on your anniversary! I think it's great that after 30 years you're still in love and want to renew your vows.

 

Want to wear a wedding dress? Go for it! It is, after all, your re-wedding.

 

Have a great time and a fabulous second honeymoon!

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We are renewing our vows also on a cruise (July 24). I had the same thoughts as you. I went with my mom and sister to shop for a dress. I thought I wanted something in ivory or pastel. However, when I tried on several dresses, they just didn't look right on me. I found a beautiful black and white gown that I really love and think looks good on me. I know what alot of people are thinking--black for a wedding--but it is elegant and makes me feel good. My husband is renting a black tux and our son is renting a white one for the occasion. I think it will be beautiful and to me, that is what counts. I also did not have a wedding gown the first time. We were married on a boat on the Lake of the Ozarks wearing swimsuits and wrap around skirts for the girls and jackets and captains hats for men. It was a wedding to remember, but I always wanted an elegant affair. I think the renewal will be just what I have always wished for.

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As long as the wedding dress is simple and age appropriate, then go for it. It's just my opinion, but to wear something that a 20-something would wear just wouldn't look right, and I think the real fashion experts (the ones who write for bridal magazines) would agree. Nothing too frou-frou or over the top would look lovely. And, again just my opinion, no long veil with a fancy headpiece. Just a simple updo with flowers is more age appropriate.

 

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ;)

 

I say wear what you want and don't hold back!

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I say go for it. I got married out in the middle of the high desert in Sedona Arizona in a simple wedding gown! They are some of the best pictures I've ever seen! I even had work boots under my gown for a part of it!

 

I wouldn't go for the big poofy gown or real frilly but a simple gown and a veil would look really nice!:)

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My goodness, Martinimama, calm down. Your response was a little harsh and after all, the original poster was asking for "OPINIONS" and that's what everyone is giving, their own opinions. You have yours and other posters have theirs and none of them are wrong just as none of them are right. Also, the original poster said herself that she wanted something simple, with little no train, and that's exactly what many of the posters were also saying. So in effect, they were agreeing with her. This board is designed for everyone to state their feelings, so to denigrate others for their opinions just isn't fair. You obviously feel strongly about this, but people who feel or express differently from you shouldn't be made to feel bad because they don't agree with your opinion.

 

As for my OPINION, I say wear whatever you want and tell everyone who might think otherwise to go to the devil. It's your body and your wedding and don't give two cents to what anyone else on the ship might think or say. You asked for opinions, and you did get a range of those here. But to be honest, you shouldn't need to ask the people here how they feel because it's your life and you should do whatever makes YOU feel good.

 

Have a wonderful cruise and a memorable wedding !!!!

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It's not really fair of anyone to give you advise on this issue. No one here really knows you, or what you look like, or how you carry yourself. I will only tell you of an experience I had with a very dear friend who was engaged a couple years ago.

 

She had never been married before, was now into her 40's, had been with the same guy more than 20 years (high school sweetie) and has a wonderful teenage son. After breaking up with whom she thought was her life partner, she met a great guy. She thought she wanted all the bells and whistles wedding, with the gown and all. She gathered several of her friends and we all went on a bridal gown shopping extravaganza. We spent the day with her as the princess, trying on dresses, then all went to dinner.

 

I thought for sure she would go back the next day and purchase the one everyone thought was perfect. Guess what? She thought about it for a week or so, then decided the shopping day had done it for her!

 

So, I do not want to tell you what to do, that is your decision. If you want the gown and find the perfect one for you, by all means wear it and enjoy your fantasy. But, it sounds like you have what everyone else is really fantasizing about, a wonderful husband who wants to marry you all over again.

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:eek:

 

IMHO, wedding dresses are just that, dresses you wear for weddings. As you are not having a wedding, I do not think a wedding dress is appropriate. That's my opinion. You can do whatever you want.

 

We repeated our vows (you can't really renew vows as they don't expire!) on QE2 some months ago. The ceremony was held at 11am. I think a wedding dress and veil would have looked quite out of place at that hour in particular. Again, that's my opinion.

 

 

The main thing is the fact that you have been married some 30 years. That is what you are celebrating, not mourning the wedding you never had.

 

As I said, this is all my opinion. You can do as you please. I'm only responding because you asked for honest answers.

 

Happy Anniversary!

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Thanks to all of you for your replies. I am so overwhelmed by all of your good wishes and support. :o

 

I made a trip to David's Bridal today and saw a dress which may be the one with a little work. It has a satin bodice with beaded trim and long chiffon sleeves (to help cover up my upper arms). The only problem-other than I need to lose weight-is that it has a medium train. David's told me that they will not cut a train down. I called a local bridal shop, who also does alterations for the public, and they told me that the train can be cut down. The dress has a Renaissance feel, which is perfect as my husband is a Ren-faire junkie.

 

I will definately check out the bridal shop in Boynton Beach. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

I got tears in my eyes reading all of your responses this evening. I cannot thank all of you enough for your kind words.

 

Joan

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