Blended Family of 4 Cruise

I really want to take my 9 year old daughter on a cruise but I also want to go with another adult as well. Ideally, I would take my boyfriend. He has a 12 year old daughter who I would like to come as well if it's feasible but he already told me her mom won't let her miss any days from school. I'm ok with my daughter missing school if it will save us money because it's a great experience and she can still complete school work independently.

I also want to depart from a port that we can drive to like NY or Baltimore maybe a few others but they would be over 5 hours because I'm right outside Philadelphia.

What would be the best options to accommodate my situation and keep cost at a minimum as well? Should I just go with my daughter? But if she decides to go to the kids club then I'm all alone. If I go with my boyfriend and daughter then I feel like I left his daughter out and that is not my intentions. My boyfriend, daughter and I live together so we already do a lot together and I think when my daughter tells his daughter she's jealous.

Please name time of year, cruise lines/ports, and maybe even types of cabin best for us. Money is definitely a factor for us.

Seems like the first thing you need to decide is who is going. There are a lot of IF's in your post

Need to decide which is more important - having the girls vacation together or saving money. Higher prices are when schools are traditionally off. But check it out.

One year our school district's Spring Break was after Carnival's.

Another Spring Break cruise we booked a few weeks ahead. It was cheaper to book two double occ cabins than a quad. We were able to get cabins next to each other.

For minors traveling without both parents it's recommended to have notarized paperwork from the non-sailing parent. The Family Board has more info.

I would honestly suggest ruling out NYC as a port to go out of if you want to drive yourself. Parking at the New York port is $40 a day. For a 7 day cruise, that is $320 in parking costs alone. Taking a train would save about $75 with cab fare to and from port for 3 people.

Also sailing out of Baltimore is generally a lot less costly than sailing out of NYC! Sailing out of Florida generally even more so though to be honest.

I am across the state from you in Pittsburgh, and I actually just priced out driving to Florida vs sailing from Baltimore. All told with excursions, dog boarding, food, hotels and gas I come out almost $1000 ahead by driving to Florida based on travel costs! This is why I suggest not just limiting yourself to Baltimore/NYC if you have the time to drive. But remember you need to add an extra 2-3 days if you are driving which would turn a 7 day cruise into 10 days.

For cheaper fares look for the 1st and 2nd weeks of December, February (not Valentines Day!). If you really want to take the other girl with you, look at Thanksgiving cruises (if mom would be willing to let her miss 2-3 days of school and be okay with her not being there over Thanksgiving). Most of these cruises over Thanksgiving are about the same price as other times.

I would take everyone with you if you can. If you are okay with not hanging out at the bar constantly and actually doing things your daughter should not feel left out at all. Since you all live together I am sure that she is used to you guys wanting alone time anyways and would understand that.

If you don't want to drive to Florida, and you want to go cheap, I would probably suggest Carnival Pride out of Baltimore for their Eastern Caribbean NOT the Florida/Bahamas one. To me personally, spending a day in Florida is kinda a wasted port since I wouldn't want to travel and spend $500+ to go to Disney/Universal for the day. If your daughter loves Disney, making sure you don't stop there could be a real money saver!

As for room, if you want to go cheap go with an inside, even for 4 people. Those who say if you have kids you have to get 2 rooms are full of it IMO. I sail with 2 boys (both teenagers now) and have never, and will never get them their own room so I can save the money!

I like you do everything I can to make everything as cheap as possible for vacation. Not because we can't spend the money but because I just don't want to! If you think you might want to have 1-2 simple drinks a day (1 alcohol, 1 mixer) buy a bottle threw the ship before you go. Sure $85 sounds like a lot, but it is really only the cost of about 1 drink per day on the ship and you get more out of it!

Research here and other places online once you decide. While it makes sense to "budget" $100 pp for excursions, you can get away a lot cheaper doing things not with the cruise line you just have to be sure you have enough time.

It sucks if you can't take the 12 year old with you, but like for you, generally cruise fares during school breaks are just out of my price range. We went on one once (because I wasn't paying!) and to me it was just... to much. My kids also found it to be that way since there were over 900 kids on board and they were overwhelmed by it all (their school district doesn't have over 900 kids total..) But your daughters MMV based on her personality.

Seems like the first thing you need to decide is who is going. There are a lot of IF's in your post

I know there are a lot of if's and I guess that's what making the decision process so hard for me. I want everyone to go if it's affordable and feasible.

Need to decide which is more important - having the girls vacation together or saving money. Higher prices are when schools are traditionally off. But check it out.

 

One year our school district's Spring Break was after Carnival's.

Another Spring Break cruise we booked a few weeks ahead. It was cheaper to book two double occ cabins than a quad. We were able to get cabins next to each other.

 

For minors traveling without both parents it's recommended to have notarized paperwork from the non-sailing parent. The Family Board has more info.

Thanks for the advice, it was really helpful and I never thought of the notarized paperwork.

Thanks for the detailed post. You gave me a lot to think about. I'm going on a cruise in less than two weeks out of NYC and while its in driving distance we definitely are driving sure to the parking. We opted for train which is only about $15 from where we are. I definitely would prefer Baltimore if it's cheaper, also Baltimore cruise doesn't require as many days.

I never thought driving to Florida would be cost efficient but now I will definitely weigh that option.

I think Thanksgiving would be a great comprise if her mom is willing to allow just two or three days but I'll have to check.

I'm ok not hanging out at the bar. I was saying I would be left out if it's just me and my daughter because she may go to the kids club and I wouldn't have nothing to do. My daughter is far more sociable than I am so she fits in wherever she goes.

I really want to take everyone but overall the price will be the biggest deciding factor.

Oh we definitely would not do Disney for a few hours. Originally I wanted to plan a trip to Disney but once my daughter found out I was going on a cruise for my birthday she decided she would rather go on a cruise.

Thanks for all the advice, you definitely gave me a lot to think about!

I would honestly suggest ruling out NYC as a port to go out of if you want to drive yourself. Parking at the New York port is $40 a day. For a 7 day cruise, that is $320 in parking costs alone. Taking a train would save about $75 with cab fare to and from port for 3 people.

 

Also sailing out of Baltimore is generally a lot less costly than sailing out of NYC! Sailing out of Florida generally even more so though to be honest.

 

I am across the state from you in Pittsburgh, and I actually just priced out driving to Florida vs sailing from Baltimore. All told with excursions, dog boarding, food, hotels and gas I come out almost $1000 ahead by driving to Florida based on travel costs! This is why I suggest not just limiting yourself to Baltimore/NYC if you have the time to drive. But remember you need to add an extra 2-3 days if you are driving which would turn a 7 day cruise into 10 days.

 

For cheaper fares look for the 1st and 2nd weeks of December, February (not Valentines Day!). If you really want to take the other girl with you, look at Thanksgiving cruises (if mom would be willing to let her miss 2-3 days of school and be okay with her not being there over Thanksgiving). Most of these cruises over Thanksgiving are about the same price as other times.

 

I would take everyone with you if you can. If you are okay with not hanging out at the bar constantly and actually doing things your daughter should not feel left out at all. Since you all live together I am sure that she is used to you guys wanting alone time anyways and would understand that.

 

If you don't want to drive to Florida, and you want to go cheap, I would probably suggest Carnival Pride out of Baltimore for their Eastern Caribbean NOT the Florida/Bahamas one. To me personally, spending a day in Florida is kinda a wasted port since I wouldn't want to travel and spend $500+ to go to Disney/Universal for the day. If your daughter loves Disney, making sure you don't stop there could be a real money saver!

 

As for room, if you want to go cheap go with an inside, even for 4 people. Those who say if you have kids you have to get 2 rooms are full of it IMO. I sail with 2 boys (both teenagers now) and have never, and will never get them their own room so I can save the money!

 

I like you do everything I can to make everything as cheap as possible for vacation. Not because we can't spend the money but because I just don't want to! If you think you might want to have 1-2 simple drinks a day (1 alcohol, 1 mixer) buy a bottle threw the ship before you go. Sure $85 sounds like a lot, but it is really only the cost of about 1 drink per day on the ship and you get more out of it!

 

Research here and other places online once you decide. While it makes sense to "budget" $100 pp for excursions, you can get away a lot cheaper doing things not with the cruise line you just have to be sure you have enough time.

 

It sucks if you can't take the 12 year old with you, but like for you, generally cruise fares during school breaks are just out of my price range. We went on one once (because I wasn't paying!) and to me it was just... to much. My kids also found it to be that way since there were over 900 kids on board and they were overwhelmed by it all (their school district doesn't have over 900 kids total..) But your daughters MMV based on her personality.

What intrigues me is the family dynamic and potential for hurt feelings. The OP is obviously aware of it and I could offer no strategy to deal with it, just saying it is a minefield. Best of luck to all.

You are signing yourself up to be the "mean step-mommy" if you pick taking your daughter with your boyfriend on a cheaper cruise rather than ponying up the money for all 4 of you to go at a mutually agreeable time. If you are looking for long term with this man you are going to have to learn to compromise.

If you really want to go during the cheaper cruises then you should go with just your child and then your boyfriend can take his daughter on a daddy/daughter vacation when she is off. There will be plenty of single parents on board and I don't understand how you would "nothing to do" if your daughter were in the kids club for a few hours each day. You could

• go to the spa
  
• read a book
  
• lounge by the pool
  
• go have a cocktail
  
• take a nap
  
• listen to a port lecture
  
• browse the shops
  
• get in a workout
  
• go to a show
  
• go to a movie
  
• room service lunch
  

You are signing yourself up to be the "mean step-mommy" if you pick taking your daughter with your boyfriend on a cheaper cruise rather than ponying up the money for all 4 of you to go at a mutually agreeable time. If you are looking for long term with this man you are going to have to learn to compromise.

 

 

 

If you really want to go during the cheaper cruises then you should go with just your child and then your boyfriend can take his daughter on a daddy/daughter vacation when she is off. There will be plenty of single parents on board and I don't understand how you would "nothing to do" if your daughter were in the kids club for a few hours each day. You could

 

• 
   
  
• go to the spa
   
  
• read a book
   
  
• lounge by the pool
   
  
• go have a cocktail
   
  
• take a nap
   
  
• listen to a port lecture
   
  
• browse the shops
   
  
• get in a workout
   
  
• go to a show
   
  
• go to a movie
   
  
• room service lunch
   
  

Thanks for your perspective of the situation. I don't want to be mean in any way. It was all my idea to even take the girls on a vacation together. I really try to do the same for his daughter as I do for my own daughter. Often times she's not able to participate in what we do because of other plans with her mom like even on holidays or weekends. My boyfriend never even took his daughter on vacation without her mother as well even when they weren't together. So this is really new for him.

I appreciate the list of things I could do. I honestly didn't think of those, I guess because I never been on a cruise. I'll be on my first cruise in a little over 10 days.

What intrigues me is the family dynamic and potential for hurt feelings. The OP is obviously aware of it and I could offer no strategy to deal with it, just saying it is a minefield. Best of luck to all.

Thanks, it seems like I need all the luck anyone can give!

If just the two of you go, I don't think you should rely on a 9 year old to show you a good time. Your daughter would have a blast in the kids club, so hopefully you wouldn't deny her that. There are tons of things for adults to do on cruises, some that don't even allow children, and not all would require you to be social.

You are signing yourself up to be the "mean step-mommy" if you pick taking your daughter with your boyfriend on a cheaper cruise rather than ponying up the money for all 4 of you to go at a mutually agreeable time. If you are looking for long term with this man you are going to have to learn to compromise.

 

If you really want to go during the cheaper cruises then you should go with just your child and then your boyfriend can take his daughter on a daddy/daughter vacation when she is off. There will be plenty of single parents on board and I don't understand how you would "nothing to do" if your daughter were in the kids club for a few hours each day. You could

• go to the spa
  
• read a book
  
• lounge by the pool
  
• go have a cocktail
  
• take a nap
  
• listen to a port lecture
  
• browse the shops
  
• get in a workout
  
• go to a show
  
• go to a movie
  
• room service lunch
  

I know of a woman who took her two kids on a cruise about some five years ago without her husband (his idea of a fun time is to go to a Mexican beach and hang glide the whole time so he doesn't mind being away from his family). Her oldest (friend of my daughter) was a preteen at the time, brother a few years younger. After the cruise, the woman said she had a great time and didn't seem to mind being on her own while the kids were in the kids' program (only complaint had to do with her daughter getting injured in one activity and on the last day, they weren't allowed to change their plans to fly home earlier as soon as they were off the cruise -- apparently that was because of the cruise line).

Usually I'm glue to the hip to my hubby on a cruise, but the last time, we often were doing different things (he might be at the gym while I was taking a hula or zumba class...many lunches during the two-week cruise were just done individually, but since I always try to have a puzzle magazine or paperback book with me, not a problem for me).

Don't give up on sailing from New York. A less expensive option is Celebrity and Royal Caribbean from Cape Liberty in Bayonne, NJ. Parking costs a lot less there. You could even take the train to Penn Station in Newark and a cab from there. I can understand the child's mother not wanting her to miss school. I think there is a difference between a 9y/o and a 12 y/o missing school. And we don't know if there are reasons she shouldn't miss. Cruise fares will be a bit more if you wait until late May or June, and the 7 day cruises from Cape Liberty go to Bermuda. But if you want to keep peace in the family, it might be worth it to spend a bit more. EM

Also, cruising over a holiday (like Thanksgiving) is more expensive than other times.

I would just book just as soon as school for both girls get out......sometimes schools let out in May and May can still be a bit cheaper than June through August.

What about taking your daughter and a girlfriend and her kids or sister and niece? Then it becomes a girls trip rather than a family trip with the potential to cause hurt feelings.

In your shoes, I would book a cabin for 4 our of Baltimore. This would keep the cost down (3rd and 4th will be super cheap). And parking in Baltimore is much cheaper than parking in NY.