First same sex shipboard wedding in Seattle

We were told by the Wedding Planner that we were the first same sex shipboard legal wedding in Seattle and probably the first on the west coast. She didn't think CA had time to have one before Prop 8 hit.

Things went kind of sideways on the ship on our wedding day. We had been assured that Holland America went "all out" for weddings- evidently not so much for us. The GREAT news is that after 20 years together I have a husband!

Here's our wedding story- straight people no longer "own" the market for wedding disasters :-)

Our wedding day on Holland America MS Oosterdam at Pier 91 Seattle:

*We were originally set to have a small wedding in the Captains Corner on the Observation Deck but we were moved to the Crows Nest Lounge a couple of months ago as we had climbed to 23 people and the Wedding Planner felt that the Captains Corner would be too small and cramped.*

After boarding the Coordinator took us to our suite then up to the Crows Nest for a “mini rehearsal”. We were shocked to see that the wedding had been setup in the Captains Corner with about 11 chairs. When I asked where the rest would sit I was told “after you walk down the aisle we will have the sitting folks move their chairs to the middle into the aisle and the rest can fill in on the “couches” along the sides or you could give up the aisle and you could just walk in the back door”. Needless to say neither was either acceptable or what we had agreed to with the Wedding Planner.

We had been told by our Wedding Planner that Holland America goes “all out” for weddings- that the flowers would be "over the top" and the room would be setup beautifully. There we two small vases with flowers that appeared to have come from Main Dining Room tables- that was it for flowers.* The “decorations” were a cocktail table on each side of the front with another cocktail table upside down on top of it and a tablecloth over them both* (evidently trying to look like pillars but looked like tarps over the furniture for painting).

*The Coordinator didn't seem to be concerned that basically nothing was correct, and appeared surprised that we were not happy. There was no one that appeared to be in a management role (from Holland America) in the area to ask for assistance. We were just over an hour from our wedding and basically nothing was how it had been agreed weeks and months before.

Luckily one of our wedding guests (my fiance's BFF) that boarded early with us is an event planner and wasn't shy about jumping in to help us. She took over, got management and crew up to the Crows Nest and sent us back to our suite to socialize with our guests. She got the wedding setup in the Crows Nest as was originally planned.

*We had ordered several trays of appetizers for our suite to be delivered by 11 am and planned on a get together with our guests before the wedding- then send them off to “sight-see” on the ship while we dressed for the wedding.* Well, no food showed up- luckily we had brought champagne on board with us so they at least had something to drink.

*The Coordinator appeared in our suite as we were getting ready for the ceremony to tell us that the ship was unable to find all of our wedding flowers (corsages, etc).* Nothing we could do- we would do the ceremony without them.

*We headed to the Crows Nest for the ceremony- our friend had done the best she could with what she had- she took the flowers that people had sent to our suite up to the Crows Nest and tried to make the cocktail tables setup at the front of the room look good. Ceremony held- and we were married.* Just after we finished the ceremony a crew member appeared with a handful of boutonnieres. Sadly the wrong flowers and only part of what we ordered. They pinned a boutonniere on each of us, our best man and one on mom.

*The highlight of the day was our reception lunch in the Pinnacle Grill. Due to all of the confusion in the Crows Nest we got to the restaurant about 40 minutes late. The staff was concerned that we wouldn't have enough time for all four courses and did not want us to feel rushed- so we told them if necessary skip the dessert and go straight to cake.* Somehow they made up the time (with no one feeling rushed) and we got thru all four courses and cake. The Pinnacle Manager and his staff were amazing. The cake sadly was not what we ordered- looked like it had been pulled from the Main Dining Room or Lido Buffet at the last minute.* Was decorated with red gum paste red roses. Tasted OK but definitely not dark chocolate and looked very “supermarket”.

It really felt as if the ship only realized that morning that they had a wedding scheduled (we booked and paid for our wedding months before) and rushed to pull what they could together at the last minute.

One of our main concerns was that our guests would not be "corralled" in the terminal until all had arrived. We had guests that had been dealing with health issues and couldn't stand for long periods. We were assured (in writing) that an extra coordinator had been assigned and that guests would be brought on board to our suite as they arrived. Well all of this was ignored- they all had to stand in a penned area until the last guest arrived. None were even offered a chair. This resulted in one of our guests standing too long and and was in bad shape all day.

We did get refunded for the missing food in our suite and the cake on board. the ship offered us a couples massage to make up for the wedding snafus.

We got an email last week that we were getting a refund for the missing flowers. At least they aren't making us pay for stuff we didn't get.

One of our guests commented that is was nice wedding for a "bar wedding". He said he thought that Holland America would have tried to make it look less like a bar.

So, there's our story. We briefly thought about cancelling but several had traveled long distances to be there with us. We decided to move ahead, and "roll with the punches".

Congratulations on being MARRIED :D Just a shame the HAL really dropped the ball so poorly! :eek: Hopefully they will realize just how bad they affected your "special day" and do MORE than just not charge you for what they never delivered. In any case, here's to many happy years together in wedded bliss! ;)

Thankfully your sense of humor & ability to roll with the punches got you & your guests through HAL's snaffus.

And thank you for posting your experience for others that might contemplate having a similar ceremony!

Wishing you both many many more happy years......

Frank, kudos to you and your husband for your resourcefullness and making it all work. To your point, you are husbands now, so a big "CONGRATULATIONS!!!"

Sorry things did not go the way you planned, that really sucks. Sounds like HAL tried to compensate, and reimburse you to some degree. Were you treated well on the cruise thereafter, was this on embarkation day?

Post pictures, please - if you care to share. Happy for you both!:)

Congratulations!!!!

I am so sorry that things did not go off as planned. I think every wedding experiences that to some degree, but you seem to have had more than your share. We are getting married on the NCL Breakaway next year and doing all we can to prepare early. Reading your review is really helpful.

Thanks for posting and congratulations again!

Congratulations. So sorry it did not go well, but it sounded like you both rolled with the punches and made the best of it. Hopefully it will be informative for others. We got married in Seattle on New Years Eve, our 25th Anniversary. It was a very special day for us, as i am sure your was for you. Again, Congratulations and many more years of happiness.

Awe :(. I'm sorry it didn't work out all that well. It sucks when you look forward to it so long and then they just screw up. NCL tried some nonsense with us but my mother was there and one does not simply mess with that woman! At least you are married and yay for that! Congratulations. Post some pics!! :)

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Awe :(. I'm sorry it didn't work out all that well. It sucks when you look forward to it so long and then they just screw up. NCL tried some nonsense with us but my mother was there and one does not simply mess with that woman! At least you are married and yay for that! Congratulations. Post some pics!! :)

 

 

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Was that in Seattle?

New York

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Awe :(. I'm sorry it didn't work out all that well. It sucks when you look forward to it so long and then they just screw up. NCL tried some nonsense with us but my mother was there and one does not simply mess with that woman! At least you are married and yay for that! Congratulations. Post some pics!! :)

 

 

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We had my hubby's BFF with us- another one not to be messed with :D

She took over and did the best she could with what there was to work with. It was clear that the Coordinator WE paid for had no interest in correcting anything. She came down to our stateroom and said "I don't think they like me here"

We had my hubby's BFF with us- another one not to be messed with :D

She took over and did the best she could with what there was to work with. It was clear that the Coordinator WE paid for had no interest in correcting anything. She came down to our stateroom and said "I don't think they like me here"

Now that is professional lol. Our coordinator was this timid little dude. Very cute but needed a push. At least he was willing to make us happy and tried everything we asked him to. He also wanted to be part of the wedding so we let him hold our ring box lol. The vibe is, it takes a serious confident no nonsense person to be an event planner and coordinator. These cruise ships need to realize this. Couples looking to we'd onboard want it just as special AND they bring guests (customers) so they can hire some serious event planners who get it. I want to see some pics of you and your lovely husband. :)

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We posted some of the wedding pictures on our wedding site:

http://www.mywedding.com/frankandloren

Oh, yeah- the pictures. When we went to the gallery to see the photographer about our wedding pictures we were told that he normally isn't up there- his job is in the lab printing pictures........... forgot about that one :-)

Awwwwwwww sooo cute. I'm in tears! There is just something about the glowing faces of a newly wedded couple! Y'all looked so happy regardless of the BS the ship provided. Congratulations and I wish you many more years of happiness :). Maybe one day you can renew your vows while at sea on a different ship lol. Don't go for the bigger ships, I feel like they become so mass produced when they go larger. I remember my parents renewed their vows on a 800 passenger ship and the ceremony took place on the bridge. The captain did the ceremony and because the ship was so old, it still had an authentic ships wheel. It was so epic.

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Congrats

hmmmmm. i've been on many hal ships, and for lots of days. i've heard of hal doing 'vow renewals' -- even went to one -- but never actual weddings. i think there might be confusion here between what you expected and what you got. just doesn't seem right to me. i mean, there all sorts of legal docs and such involved. and on and on. someone elighten me. i am a priest, and i know that on land anyway, the clergyperson acts for his/her church and ALSO for the authority on land. this just seems strange to me, sorry.

not that i could witness a marriage, a legal marriage, for a same-sex couple anyway, even if i felt inclined to do so. regardless of current law, no law, or maybe law.

Weddings are performed at the pier before the ship sails. Our wedding license was issued in Washington and ceremony was performed by a licensed Washington Officiant. Washington passed marriage equality late last year.

What we expected was what was on our contract with Holland America- nothing more. The only part of the wedding that was according to our contract was the luncheon- pretty much everything else was wrong. A few of our guests were told by crew members that they din't know they had a wedding until that morning at 10am. We were scheduled to board at 10:30.

We did send a letter expressing our unhappiness to the President of Holland America. We got a two page letter back form one of his "representatives" basically telling us how long they had been in business and how great they are. They offered us a dinner for two in The Pinnacle on our next cruise (with the disclaimer that if we chose Le Cirque night we would have to pay additional). She also reiterated how generous they were refunding the money we had paid for things we didn't receive.

So, I guess that's the value HAL puts on totally screwing up a once in a lifetime event- $50.00

Congratulations!

dear frank. i didn't mean to come across as insensitive, just realistic. it does not surprise me that the wedding had to take place on land, and not on the ship. and you should be happy that it was/is legally valid. i guess what hal did or did not do is a separate matter. they should have provided a suitable and beautiful celebration of your newly-witnessed legal vows on land as per your agreement with them.

dear frank. i didn't mean to come across as insensitive, just realistic. it does not surprise me that the wedding had to take place on land, and not on the ship. and you should be happy that it was/is legally valid. i guess what hal did or did not do is a separate matter. they should have provided a suitable and beautiful celebration of your newly-witnessed legal vows on land as per your agreement with them.

The wedding was on the ship in the Crows Nest Lounge- reception lunch was in the Pinnacle Grill. Holland America does not perform any weddings at sea- only when docked. They were responsible for the entire wedding- it was booked with their wedding vendor. We contracted with Holland America and their wedding vendor What they did. What HAL did or did not do has everything to do- they were responsible for putting together our wedding and advertise as being "strees free" as they take care of everything.

In hindsight we should have booked with Princess- they actually have a lovely wedding "chapel" on board with a group of deluxe suites next to it.

Weddings are performed at the pier before the ship sails. Our wedding license was issued in Washington and ceremony was performed by a licensed Washington Officiant. Washington passed marriage equality late last year.

What we expected was what was on our contract with Holland America- nothing more. The only part of the wedding that was according to our contract was the luncheon- pretty much everything else was wrong. A few of our guests were told by crew members that they din't know they had a wedding until that morning at 10am. We were scheduled to board at 10:30.

We did send a letter expressing our unhappiness to the President of Holland America. We got a two page letter back form one of his "representatives" basically telling us how long they had been in business and how great they are. They offered us a dinner for two in The Pinnacle on our next cruise (with the disclaimer that if we chose Le Cirque night we would have to pay additional). She also reiterated how generous they were refunding the money we had paid for things we didn't receive.

So, I guess that's the value HAL puts on totally screwing up a once in a lifetime event- $50.00

That's some BS! Wow some nerve. I won't be sailing those ships ever! I bet she didn't even read your letter. What a shame. Ew. Hate.

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