Post Cruise Depression (PCD)...

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#1
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
Post Cruise Depression, also known as PCD, is a real psychiatric malady that, although not recognised by any psychiatric professional anywhere in the world can be easily self-diagnosed by any "post cruise passenger" with some or all of the following symptoms:

1) Crying spontaneously upon entering any restaurant post cruise... this can become ferociously violent crying at buffet restaurants in "the real world".

2) Complaining about towels not mysteriously arranging themselves into towel animals on your bed at home each night. (a spouse can alleviate some of this by secretly placing a cheap chocolate mint on the pillow... these can be "found" for free at most Olive Garden restaurants for those on a budget.)

3) Dancing uncontrollably in bathrooms that are "just too spacious" at home. Also, a sudden fear of flushing the home toilet that's "just too quiet" (if you have an mp3 file of the sound of a missile to air launch, playing this through your mp3 player may help).

4) An unusual tendency to expect some mysterious stranger to come into your room while you are away and clean up everything (including the bathroom!!!) and pretend that you aren't just a slob. (Important Note: most married men have this symptom 24/7, so this isn't generally considered a symptom of PCD with such men)

5) A tendency to try to convince friends and family members back home that they should all love to dance "The Electric Slide", the "Cupid Shuffle", and various other line dances... and spontaneous giddiness when these same songs are (rarely) played at nightclubs and weddings back home. (Note to drunk men everywhere: No, you are not "starting to get it now!")

6) Asking strangers on the street, sometimes emphatically, "Where's my muster station?!?" (Note: first time cruisers suffering from PCD will often shout "Where's my mustard station?!?" in which case they are often led to a nearby hot dog stand.) Fortunately, the sad cases of those purchasing Life Vests and wearing them about town is in a downward trend as Royal Caribbean is making this a thing of the past.

7) Babbling through dinner about needing to hurry up and "get to the theater for a good seat!!!". The employees at McDonald's won't be helpful in telling you the fastest path to the show. (Some limited success can be found by going to a 3D movie.)

8) Some become incoherent when the sales person at the local liquor store "lets" them take the liquor "back to their cabin" (er, home... PCD sufferers often will call home their "cabin" for a few weeks post cruise). This is a no-win situation for everyone... unless you are an unscrupulous liquor salesman who says "sure, I will make sure it's delivered to 'your cabin' by the end of the week" who then goes on to take your liquor and drink it with his buddies. (This is a PCD predator)

8b) A silly and somewhat time wasting need to "sneak" liquor into their own homes; some will even buy mouthwash bottles and empty them in the street refilling them with rum before entering their home with the "mouthwash" in plain sight. (this is often accompanied by grins and high fives when they feel they've gotten past "security"... usually their sleeping dog or equally disinterested cat. Parrots can be taught to ask, "Do you have any liquor?" for those in desperate need to get caught.)

9) A painful need to see EVERY cruise company commercial on TV. DVRs can make this excruciating for those not suffering from PCD who live with PCD sufferers. Listening to things like, "I was on that ship!!!" or "I am going on that ship in 324 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes and 46 seconds from... NOW!" can often lead to the collapse of otherwise healthy relationships.

10) Attempting to build a zipline from your house's roof to your neighbor's roof (generally Oasis-PCD, but growing from port visits as well); attempting to convert a hot tub or pool to a flow rider using leaf blowers and using skateboards as surfboards; demanding croissant sandwiches at your local pizza place... for free!

11) Taking credit cards out of your wallet and trying to figure out how to insert it into your door lock at home. (Note, the credit card will, at least, allow you to charge things with impunity just as the Sea Pass card did on board!)

12) Searching endlessly for your "cabin" safe at home because you know your cell phone, car keys, and jewelry is in there! (Men: you know your wife "moved it" no matter what and it's definitely "not where you left it!")

There are many other symptoms of PCD... the list grows daily. I know... for I am a chronic PCD patient. Again, the so called "medical world" has an attitude that's along the order of "oh, just grow up!" where PCD is concerned.

About the only successful treatment that I've ever found has been to book another cruise. (although some have had limited success by building scale life size models of their cabins in the basement and retiring there between cruises.)

Good luck, fellow PCD sufferers... and know that you are NOT ALONE!

Cheers,
Paul

ps- Another great way to end PCD immediately is to buy ME a cruise! Probably won't help your PCD, but definitely will help mine!
#2
Telford, close to Phila. Pa
825 Posts
Joined Mar 2008
OMG this is too funny, I suffer from 10 of the 12 symptoms when they get really bad time to book another Cruise....thanks for the laugh
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#3
PA
363 Posts
Joined Aug 2007
That was really funny! Thank you!
Thankfully my PCD has been alleviated somewhat since I have another cruise in 5 months, but afterwards......its gonna get BAD!!!
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Denise and Dave


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#6
24 Posts
Joined Jan 2010
lol i am a fellow suffer with a few more symptome...trying to pay for petrol with your seapass card as i did on the way home! I now put the toilet lid down before i flush and have ocd with hand gel everytime i touch anything. I also have no idea what day of the week it is because my carpet doesn't say it.....
#7
San Diego
8,858 Posts
Joined Oct 2006
good news is that there is a simple cure...book another cruise
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#8
138 Posts
Joined Jul 2009
I'm seeing a shrink to help me with mine every time I come back from a cruise. Isnt there some sort of hotline we can use to seek help?
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#9
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
Originally posted by Rosiepuff86
lol i am a fellow suffer with a few more symptome...trying to pay for petrol with your seapass card as i did on the way home! I now put the toilet lid down before i flush and have ocd with hand gel everytime i touch anything. I also have no idea what day of the week it is because my carpet doesn't say it.....
Hahaha! How did I miss these in the original post?!?
Thank you!

Paul
#10
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
PCD Symptoms... Continued:

13) Insisting that your Soda Package "is still good" in the first few restaurants you visit post cruise.

14) Calling Directv (or cable or DISH... whatever) and demanding to know which channel shows your "current position" at sea!

15) A peculiar practice of arriving home each day from work with two or three extremely overpacked suitcases and leaving them by the curb... paying some stranger (local teens often supplement their allowances from PCD sufferers with this symptom) to "deliver" them to your front door in three or four hours... then unpacking while complaining about how "wrinkled everything got".

16) Becoming argumentative over whether you should take the "excursion" to Wal-Mart or the "excursion" to the local Post Office... and whether or not you should do the one offered by the cruise line or "get a local" to drive you to these exciting destinations. (generally speaking, no cruise line will offer you these sorts of excursions... best to do this on your own)

17) Bragging loudly about your loyalty standing in the Crown and Anchor or Captain's Club to total strangers or at class or family reunion or in restaurants or (worst case) in crowded movie theaters.

18) Ordering 3 or more "entrees" at your favorite restaurant and believing that you: a) already paid for this months ago.... b) should only have to pay for one!

19) Dressing formally at least two nights out of seven... even when going to dinner at Burger King or Pizza Hut or KFC. (some will refuse to do this but insist that their local buffet restaurant provide a fantastic dinner with candle light and -most vexxing for most buffets- a view of the ocean!)

20) Demanding a map of your home "to help you get around" and telling other members of the family that "next time" your bedroom at home will have a balcony... and be on the "bump out" or "hump". (Note to construction workers: you must weigh your guilt over adding a bump out balcony to an existing home structure against the obvious monetary gains in this economy)

21) Renaming the garage the "Solarium" and insisting that children stay out of there. (Actually, is this really a bad symptom to have?)

22) Staring into the air and mumbling, "I'm a member of the Nation of Why Not!" over and over again.

23) Naming pets after your last cruise ship. "Oasis wanna go for a walkie?" Worse yet, dressing your pet up like your last cruise ship and walking him around the neighborhood. "Yeah he's a collie and... HEY! Bad Grandeur of the Seas!!!"

24) Trying to hire a home improvement company to install "home rockers" that will give your home that "at Sea" feeling. (Warning: this is an extremely dangerous thing to do... 100% of towns in the world will NOT give you the permits necessary for this as there are none. DIYers might find some help with parts at Lowes or Home Depot)

25) Demanding that your local theater install smaller screens and show movies for free that are already being shown on pay per view.

There are many who make the claim that vitamins and minerals, a change in diet, adding aromatherapy, etc can alleviate PCD. But once again, the only PROVEN treatment is booking a new cruise ASAP.

One other thing... there's been some discussion in various circles of another malady being called Cruise Obsessive Disorder or COD. This is obviously a false disease as there's no such thing as being cruise obsessed! Ask any of us here at Cruise Critic.

Cheers,
Paul
#11
Lansing, Michigan
1,838 Posts
Joined Jun 2005
hahaha I so have this after cruising. is there any help?
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#13
phx az usa
1,168 Posts
Joined Apr 2002
Originally posted by jking917
I'm seeing a shrink to help me with mine every time I come back from a cruise. Isnt there some sort of hotline we can use to seek help?
You do not need a shrink. You my friend need a really good, no a really great TA. They will help with your ailment,"PCD".LOL
#15
Denver
399 Posts
Joined Sep 2009
Got off Freedom on May 30th and thought i had some serious post cruise depression. Then 2 weeks to the day that we debarked a dear friend's 12 yr old son died in a tragic accident in our local pool.

I haven't laughed in days since the drowing. I finally just laughed so hard I cried. Thanks for this post.
#16
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
Originally posted by BDMom
Got off Freedom on May 30th and thought i had some serious post cruise depression. Then 2 weeks to the day that we debarked a dear friend's 12 yr old son died in a tragic accident in our local pool.

I haven't laughed in days since the drowing. I finally just laughed so hard I cried. Thanks for this post.
Wow... glad I could help. My sincere condolences to your friend... so terrible.

Paul
#17
Orange county CA
8,050 Posts
Joined Nov 2009
another symptom of PCD
checking the message boards & cruise websites for the best deals, even tho you have no money or time for another cruise!
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#18
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
Originally posted by ccruisequeen
another symptom of PCD
checking the message boards & cruise websites for the best deals, even tho you have no money or time for another cruise!
Aha! Nice one... (of course, we never have time, and we certainly DON'T have the money... never stopped us from going forward with a cruise anyway! )

Cheers,
Paul
#19
Derby , uk
216 Posts
Joined Oct 2009
Hi, my name is Mandy and i have PCD......please dont let the men in white coats take me away!!! i'll get better soon, 14th of Novemeber to be precise :-D
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#20
700 Posts
Joined Apr 2004
Here's some more official symptoms of PCD...

26) Demanding that your local hardware store have WOW! cruise sales on Tuesdays, and Tuesdays ONLY! Then being bewildered by sales on other days! (what are they thinking?) Generally, hardware stores don't have cruise sales... even on Tuesdays.

27) Spending the evening "up in the Viking Crown Lounge" until you pass out from the heat in the attic (or cold in the winter months). Others may plan to "dance the night away in the Dungeon Disco" until they become seriously injured in the crawl-space below their home. (Note: most discos ARE NOT only 3' tall... not even on the "tiny" cruise ships) Those with actual cellars/basements, especially ones actually outfitted with a sound system and dance floor, will fare better here.

28) Spending time and arousing your neighbor's suspicion by building a "lifeboat" in your back yard out of old refridgerator delivery boxes. (Note: cardboard is notoriously poor at floating once it gets wet.)

29) Calling your television provider (again) and demanding Ricky Nelson TV. (actually, if you are doing this, you are suffering from an illness FAR more serious than PCD. You might be beyond help of any kind)

30) Repeatedly securing and unsecuring mooring lines from your house (which you keep calling the "House of the Seas" much to the chagrin of your friends and neighbors) to your "dock" (usually a curbside tree or roadside mailbox). Sufferers go to great lengths to get just the right thickness of rope at the local DIY store.

31) Honking your car horn (which you've "enhanced" with sub woofers and Bose speakers) one hour before your departure (to work) and also driving slowly down your street (the "bay of departure" in your deluded state) while honking that same horn randomly and playfully! (Beware of those others who don't appreciate your 5 am departure schedules... they may be armed...)

32) Sadness each morning when you throw open the drapes covering your sliding glass doors only to find... the exact same view of your backyard as yesterday... and the day before that. (And still hoping -forlornly- that one of these days, that view will be at sea... or St. Martin!)

Cheers,
Paul