Thinking about cruising after my wife's passing

[mamamurph]

Hi Noreen, You're right about getting on a 3 card table in AC. Now we need to watch our pennies for a while because Bob and I just booked the 2012 Explorer cruise. Practice up and give me some tips. I can't possibly be as lucky next year as I was this year. This is just more fun than anyone should be allowed to have, Talk to you soon.... Judy

[wwinfl91]

HI all,

Well I have now completed my first solo cruise and survived to make it back and talk about it. As some of you know I was on HAL's Maasdam for a 14 day Souther Caribbean cruise from March 4-18. After 22 cruises with my wife this one was "different" but I found ways to enjoy it and enjoy the many kind people that I met.

I met several widows and widowers while on the cruise and was able to share experiences with them both stories of what we are going thru and as well as shore excursions and hot tub time.

I ended up with a C class outside cabin on the lower promenade deck so I had the biggest balcony on the ship two doors down from my cabin. I was really glad I did a cabin by myself in spite of the extra cost as it gave me someplace private to go to when I wanted to but luckily I didn't need to do that very often.

I went ashore at all the islands, some with friends I had met on the cruise and sometimes alone but I always seemed to run into someone from the ship and ended up doing things with them ashore. I played Texas Hold-em most evenings and also did the tournaments on sea days, I won one, came in second once and got blown away in the other two.

The one complaint I have about HAL was they gave me anytime dining and then most evenings that I went to the dining room, I ate in the lido, in their free Italian reservation only restaurant and in the Lido as well as one night in the Pinnacle, so that was 4 of the five times I went at a table by myself in spite of telling them I wanted to share a table with others. I plan on sending a letter to HAL corporate letting them know there are a lot of us out here who have either lost our mates or are just single but most of us would rather spend dinner in a more social situation that a table by ourselves.

Other than that the cruise went well and I will be looking to see where I will be going next relatively soon. I plan on doing a review over in CC's user review section and when I complete it and it gets approved I will post a link to it here.

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to try this and hopefully others who are in my situation will also decide to give it a try and see how it works out for them.

Have a great next cruise.

[KruzPrincess]

I'm glad to hear you had a good cruise and want to do it again. Good for you! You have a lot to look forward to.

[wwinfl91]

Thanks for the kind reply, Kruzprincess. It wasn't an easy thing to do but now that I have done it I wonder what I was afraid of and I am going to be looking into other cruises to go on.

Georgie Girl, I will be putting together a review of my cruise but it may not be ready immediately. If you have some specific questions you can post them here or send me an email at:

wwinfl@hotmail.com

And I will try to answer them. You are definitely just up the road from me. I live in Lake Ridge but my mailing address is Cedar Hill so I might be closer than you think. Grand Prairie is just across the bridge from me.

Anyway let me know what you want to know as this isn't my first Southern Caribbean cruise and I have cruised out of Ft Lauderdale a lot although I lived in the Orlando area.

Hope everyone has a great next cruise.

[cherylroslyn]

Originally Posted by wwinfl91

HI all,


The one complaint I have about HAL was they gave me anytime dining and then most evenings that I went to the dining room, I ate in the lido, in their free Italian reservation only restaurant and in the Lido as well as one night in the Pinnacle, so that was 4 of the five times I went at a table by myself in spite of telling them I wanted to share a table with others. I plan on sending a letter to HAL corporate letting them know there are a lot of us out here who have either lost our mates or are just single but most of us would rather spend dinner in a more social situation that a table by ourselves.

Jim how did they just "give you" anytime dining? Didn't you have to request that in order to "opt out" of traditional dining? Did you try to rectify it with the maitre 'd?

I always go to the maitre 'd as soon as I board to see if I am at a larger table and not just couples or a family of 6 and me...the maitre 'd is able to tell you the ages and what type of groups are at your table...to give you an idea of what you will encounter at dinner....sometimes it helps......

I am glad you enjoyed your cruise. We all knew you would!!!

[wwinfl91]

Unfortunately I booked late and got assigned anytime dining. I probably should have went to the maitre'd and tried to get it changed but my wife and I had done anytime and never had a problem but I had never done it alone and it was a problem. Next time I will know better.

I did enjoy the cruise and will be doing others now that I proved that I could do it.

Have a great next cruise.

[cherylroslyn]

Originally Posted by wwinfl91

Unfortunately I booked late and got assigned anytime dining. I probably should have went to the maitre'd and tried to get it changed but my wife and I had done anytime and never had a problem but I had never done it alone and it was a problem. Next time I will know better.

I did enjoy the cruise and will be doing others now that I proved that I could do it.

Have a great next cruise.

what I find is that the maitere 'd will really work with you if you go find him at about 2:00 or 3:00 on sailawy day. I don't try to do it while the line is forming for dinner....



Just as a precautionary measure I go say hi...explain I'm traveling alone and I ask if he can look up my table to see what it looks like.....I then know when I am going what the opproximate age, genger and the types of groupongs I will be with.... I have chaged immediately after being told I am with 2 couples (30's) or a mom dad grandparents and three teenagers..... sometimes you can just tell it won't work even before you sit down.....

Since we are just "one" they are always able to mix us in without much trouble....

If you don't like anytime dining alone...don't try NCL...it will not be for you and that is coming from someone who really likes NCL.

[Georgie Girl]

Originally Posted by wwinfl91

Thanks for the kind reply, Kruzprincess. It wasn't an easy thing to do but now that I have done it I wonder what I was afraid of and I am going to be looking into other cruises to go on.

Georgie Girl, I will be putting together a review of my cruise but it may not be ready immediately. If you have some specific questions you can post them here or send me an email at:

wwinfl@hotmail.com

And I will try to answer them. You are definitely just up the road from me. I live in Lake Ridge but my mailing address is Cedar Hill so I might be closer than you think. Grand Prairie is just across the bridge from me.

Anyway let me know what you want to know as this isn't my first Southern Caribbean cruise and I have cruised out of Ft Lauderdale a lot although I lived in the Orlando area.

Hope everyone has a great next cruise.

Hi Neighbor,

Glad to hear that you took the first step in getting out there and enjoying yourself; you will get more confident each time you cruise solo. Sounds like you have a lot of memories from the past so I'm sure it is tough. The dining situation was unfortunate, but from what I have read on some of the boards some people had rather be alone than at some of the tables where they were placed; sometimes it is hard to find the right mix, but it puts you in an awkward situation. At least you will know what to ask the next time if you read the boards and get some good pointers.

I've been taking advantage of the nice weather for the past couple of weeks and then on the windy or cooler days, going crazy thinking trying to get tax receipts together and get IRS taken care before leaving town.

Since I have never been to the Southern Caribbean or Ft. Lauderdale was concerned about safety more than anything else. I've already booked a hotel that has airport pickup/cruise transportation in Dania Beach area of Ft. Lauderdale. Since it's only 1 night it will be o.k. and if the area looks too bad will eat snacks in the room instead of venturing out.

I've been reading some of the posts on the Caribbean section of the cruise critic and looking some of the areas up on the Internet. I value all the information because I've seen where a few robberies have taken place on a few of the islands. This is information not found in guidebooks. I have not booked any excursions yet since I was not familiar with any of the islands. I am mostly interested in site seeing (love nature, history of the islands) and window shopping; I can't swim so (no scuba diving). Not knowing how close the cruise will dock from the towns and if it is safe to walk around in the areas. Some days I can't even get into the ships excursion site.
The ports are:

St. Thomas
St. Kitts
Bridgetown, Barbados
Dominica
St. Maarten

I will only go on the Equinox ship excursions (no private companies). Looks like a lot of ships will be in the same docks at the ports so will be crowded but any help will be appreciated.

Thanks again!

[wwinfl91]

HI Georgie Girl,

I will try to suggest some ideas for the islands as I have been to all of them at least once and most more than once.

Let's start with St Thomas. It has 2 docks that can handle at least 5 and maybe 6 cruise ships. If there are more than that in port you will tender into the downtown area which isn't all bad as you won't have to get there from either of the docks. I suspect you will be docking so I will go from there. The older dock area has lots of shopping, many of the downtown stores have branches there, so if you want to shop you wouldn't have to go to downtown. The other newer docking area has some shopping but if that is what you want to do you probably will want to go downtown. Since this is your first time there I would suggest either doing an overall island tour which will probably include some of the popular beaches, a tourist trap called Balckbeard's Castle, a seaside aquarium that isn't up to Sea World's standards but tries to allow you a view of the sea life in the Caribbean, one or more scenic views of the harbor with your ship and the other ships in port with you that day, and probably a chance to stop off in downtown to shop. Another option would be a sea tour of St Thomas and St John's. These usually include a snokle and swim stop but you can stay on the boat if you want and just get the scenic views from the water of the US and British VI. Some of these are by motorboat and some at sailboats although you will probably do more motoring than sailing.

St Thomas can be very crowded if there are a lot of ships in port. I have been there with as many as 11 and you literally could not walk in the downtown area. You just moved when the crowd moved. There may be an excursion offered to St John's which is much more laid back and peaceful but again these are usually tied to snorkling or swiming. There you would see nature as well as a boat trip to get there and back.

I would suspect Celebrity will be offering a variety of all the tours I mentioned above so it shouldn't be a problem getting one of them.

In St Kitt's I would suggest a general island tour that includes a visit to a large fortress that dominated the central area of the island. It is really something to see if you want to see something historic and also offers great views of the surrounding area. Driving there you will get to see some other parts of the island and also probably will have one or more stops at places to shop and do some sightseeing. I don't remember much about the town we docked at but in looking at some of the pictures I took it wasn't very exciting.

Bridgetown, Barbados, is your next port listed. Barbados is a nice island and very British. This is another place I would suggest some sort of general tour. I did a photography tour on my cruise and it was interesting seeing what a professional photo guy thinks are the best places to take pictures on the island. If you like taking pictures and Celebrity offers this I would say give it a try. Otherwise try a general island tour and go from there. Bridgetown is a busy city and IMHO doesn't offer a great deal to a tourist.

Dominica is one of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean from a natural beauty standpoint. That said it also has lots of proverty and you will see it when you do an island tour. The Carib indians own a large portion of one section of the island and are trying to develop nature and ecology tours in their area. My wife and i did one and enjoyed it as long as you weren't expecting spectacular visas. This is another island where a first time visitor probably wants to do some sort of general island overview tour. I don't know what Celebrity will offer but there should be a couple of options. Once in the rain forest area there are some nice waterfalls and lots of wildlife although you probably won't see any of it. When we were there my wife was never very comfortable in the city where we docked so we didn't spend a lot of time there. I have some pictures of a church and some older not very well kept buildings. Again a ship's tour of the island will probably highlight areas outside of the town.

St Maarteen is a very well kept island that is divided into a Dutch and a French side. The dock is on the Dutch side but most tours of the island will touch on both sides. The town we have visited on the French side is very scenic and very French and also very expensive if you are going to eat and buy much there. But the small harbor with yachts and sailboats is very scenic as are the buildings. This is again another island if you are going for the first time do some sort of overall island tour. You may be able to combine a short small boat excursion over to the French sie with a land drive back across the island to the Dutch side and the port and your ship. The Dutch port city where your ship will be felt like it was safe to walk around in but like any city you still need to be careful where you go and what you do.

Hopefully these ideas will help a little in your tour selection. Generally Caribbean ports are safer than walking in many areas of say downtown Dallas or Fort Worth as long as you take the same kind of precautions you would take in any city. Generally I would advice any single woman to find others to walk around with and you hopefully will find some in your rollcall that may want to join you.

Have a great next cruise and let us know when you get back how you enjoyed it.

[wwinfl91]

Oh let me add a few words about Ft Lauderdale. I have been there numerous times both leaving and arriving from cruises and just visiting there for other reasons including their convention center for an embroidery show. Generally it is a safe and very pretty city. I'm sure it has it's dark side but I have never found it.

I stayed at a downtown hotel and walked around that area and didn't ever feel threatened or worried. I walked to the local shopping center to get some wine for the cruise, eat some dinner and then back to the hotel in the dark (there were street lights but the sun had set).

When my ship returned I took a Sea and Land tour that ended up dropping us off at the airport that I would recommend rather than sitting at the airport waiting for a flight if your timetable allows and Celebrity offers it. They load your luggage on a large bus and then drive through some of the nicer areas of town and then stop for a short walk thru a historic area. Finally you get on a boat and tour some of the canals and go to the harbor where you can see your ship at dock and loading up for the next cruise. You will see some fantastic mansions and yachts and the guy giving the narration on our tour was really funny while still sharing a lot of information.

Finally you board the bus again and they drop you off at your terminal at Ft Lauderdale airport. It was well work the extra $20 over just transportation to the airport.

Have a great next cruise.

[Georgie Girl]

Originally Posted by wwinfl91

HI Georgie Girl,

I will try to suggest some ideas for the islands as I have been to all of them at least once and most more than once.

Let's start with St Thomas. It has 2 docks that can handle at least 5 and maybe 6 cruise ships. If there are more than that in port you will tender into the downtown area which isn't all bad as you won't have to get there from either of the docks. I suspect you will be docking so I will go from there. The older dock area has lots of shopping, many of the downtown stores have branches there, so if you want to shop you wouldn't have to go to downtown. The other newer docking area has some shopping but if that is what you want to do you probably will want to go downtown. Since this is your first time there I would suggest either doing an overall island tour which will probably include some of the popular beaches, a tourist trap called Balckbeard's Castle, a seaside aquarium that isn't up to Sea World's standards but tries to allow you a view of the sea life in the Caribbean, one or more scenic views of the harbor with your ship and the other ships in port with you that day, and probably a chance to stop off in downtown to shop. Another option would be a sea tour of St Thomas and St John's. These usually include a snokle and swim stop but you can stay on the boat if you want and just get the scenic views from the water of the US and British VI. Some of these are by motorboat and some at sailboats although you will probably do more motoring than sailing.

St Thomas can be very crowded if there are a lot of ships in port. I have been there with as many as 11 and you literally could not walk in the downtown area. You just moved when the crowd moved. There may be an excursion offered to St John's which is much more laid back and peaceful but again these are usually tied to snorkling or swiming. There you would see nature as well as a boat trip to get there and back.

I would suspect Celebrity will be offering a variety of all the tours I mentioned above so it shouldn't be a problem getting one of them.

In St Kitt's I would suggest a general island tour that includes a visit to a large fortress that dominated the central area of the island. It is really something to see if you want to see something historic and also offers great views of the surrounding area. Driving there you will get to see some other parts of the island and also probably will have one or more stops at places to shop and do some sightseeing. I don't remember much about the town we docked at but in looking at some of the pictures I took it wasn't very exciting.

Bridgetown, Barbados, is your next port listed. Barbados is a nice island and very British. This is another place I would suggest some sort of general tour. I did a photography tour on my cruise and it was interesting seeing what a professional photo guy thinks are the best places to take pictures on the island. If you like taking pictures and Celebrity offers this I would say give it a try. Otherwise try a general island tour and go from there. Bridgetown is a busy city and IMHO doesn't offer a great deal to a tourist.

Dominica is one of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean from a natural beauty standpoint. That said it also has lots of proverty and you will see it when you do an island tour. The Carib indians own a large portion of one section of the island and are trying to develop nature and ecology tours in their area. My wife and i did one and enjoyed it as long as you weren't expecting spectacular visas. This is another island where a first time visitor probably wants to do some sort of general island overview tour. I don't know what Celebrity will offer but there should be a couple of options. Once in the rain forest area there are some nice waterfalls and lots of wildlife although you probably won't see any of it. When we were there my wife was never very comfortable in the city where we docked so we didn't spend a lot of time there. I have some pictures of a church and some older not very well kept buildings. Again a ship's tour of the island will probably highlight areas outside of the town.

St Maarteen is a very well kept island that is divided into a Dutch and a French side. The dock is on the Dutch side but most tours of the island will touch on both sides. The town we have visited on the French side is very scenic and very French and also very expensive if you are going to eat and buy much there. But the small harbor with yachts and sailboats is very scenic as are the buildings. This is again another island if you are going for the first time do some sort of overall island tour. You may be able to combine a short small boat excursion over to the French sie with a land drive back across the island to the Dutch side and the port and your ship. The Dutch port city where your ship will be felt like it was safe to walk around in but like any city you still need to be careful where you go and what you do.

Hopefully these ideas will help a little in your tour selection. Generally Caribbean ports are safer than walking in many areas of say downtown Dallas or Fort Worth as long as you take the same kind of precautions you would take in any city. Generally I would advice any single woman to find others to walk around with and you hopefully will find some in your rollcall that may want to join you.

Have a great next cruise and let us know when you get back how you enjoyed it.

Sounds like you are very familiar with all the ports. This is the type of information, I've been looking for; based on it I booked excursions in all the ports. My longest excursion will be going to St. John's on the ferry for 6 1/2 hours. Guess, I can shop 'til I drop! I am looking forward to the trip and exploring each island.

Thanks again for your help.

[Georgie Girl]

Originally Posted by wwinfl91

Oh let me add a few words about Ft Lauderdale. I have been there numerous times both leaving and arriving from cruises and just visiting there for other reasons including their convention center for an embroidery show. Generally it is a safe and very pretty city. I'm sure it has it's dark side but I have never found it.

I stayed at a downtown hotel and walked around that area and didn't ever feel threatened or worried. I walked to the local shopping center to get some wine for the cruise, eat some dinner and then back to the hotel in the dark (there were street lights but the sun had set).

When my ship returned I took a Sea and Land tour that ended up dropping us off at the airport that I would recommend rather than sitting at the airport waiting for a flight if your timetable allows and Celebrity offers it. They load your luggage on a large bus and then drive through some of the nicer areas of town and then stop for a short walk thru a historic area. Finally you get on a boat and tour some of the canals and go to the harbor where you can see your ship at dock and loading up for the next cruise. You will see some fantastic mansions and yachts and the guy giving the narration on our tour was really funny while still sharing a lot of information.

Finally you board the bus again and they drop you off at your terminal at Ft Lauderdale airport. It was well work the extra $20 over just transportation to the airport.

Have a great next cruise.

I will book this tour when I get on the ship; I have plenty of time before my plane leaves. I tried to book it with the others but accidentally got the Miami airport return instead of Ft. Lauderdale so I just cancelled it. I'm sure they haved some beautiful places and I look forward getting familiar with the area.

I appreciate all your help!

[wwinfl91]

HI Georgie Girl,

I hope you enjoy all your tours. I think you will have fun on the Sea and land tour in Ft Lauderdale after the cruise. The mansions and yachts are just jaw dropping and the views of cruise ships in the harbor are really interesting as you can compare the size of your ship to the others in port. The Maasdam which I had been on was probably the smallest ship in the port the day I did the tour but I still loved the ship.

Talk at you later.

[SunnySailor66]

I'm sorry for your loss and understand how difficult this change is in your life. I lost my beloved husband 8 years ago and I decided that he would want me to continue to travel and cruise.

I sailed just 5 weeks after my husband passed and I found it to be a healing time. Just sitting on the veranda and enjoying the sea air made me feel renewed after such a trying time. I continue to sail and make new memories and friends.

I hope this helps you.

[wwinfl91]

Thanks for the kind and good thjoughts. I also found the days at sea to be especially restful and allow me to feel that I was making the right decision in continuing to cruise, travel and live.

Have a great next cruise with lots of great memories and new friends.

[ltcTN]

I am late to the gate on this thread. I lost my wife on 10/31/10. We had finished a cruise out of Mobile in August. I have a company award cruise on HAL out of Ft Lauderdale April 14th. The ship will be full of people I know but will be the first alone! We had taken as many as 4 a year. I know it will be strange.

I have swallowed the bitter pill and booked RCCL Freedom of the Seas for 10/2/11.

[wwinfl91]

HI ItcTN,

Sorry for your loss. If you have read the whole thread you know I understand your loss. But I'm glad to see you are planning on going on your first cruise alone as it is a first step to moving on with your new life. As mentioned above I found a lot of nice people who helped me learn to enjoy my first cruise with my wife in March and I'm now looking at where I'm going to go next.

Have a great next cruise.

[AFTON]

Hi

Just read your post...my husband sadly passed away aged 52 in 2006, I have since been on a couple of cruises with family and last year went completely on my own, I have just booked to go again next month alone. Firstly, I wont lie...it is hard! going to ports that I had already visited with my husband was bittersweet, but I tried to look at the positives and remember the great times we enjoyed, secondly-going completely on my own was daunting...but I quite enjoy my own company and fortunately I am fairly used to getting around on my own. We had 30 absolutely fantastic years together and this is what I say every morning to get me through each day...as some people probably never get that!!! so with that thought, I put on a smile and try to make each day the best it can possibly be without my dear husband.

I hope some of this helps, and if you want any more info ie: how i got on with dining, shows, excursions etc, I'll be happy to write more

best regards

[queenslander]

Hi everyone,

I lost my dear husband five months ago and I understand how it feels to lose the love of your life. One minute he was fit and healthy and then the next minute he was gone so it was a big shock!

We sailed on Celebrity Eclipse to Spain and Portugal last September and had planned a road trip in France and a Greek island stay to follow which we had to cancel. Les had just retired and we had everything to look forward to. He had a bulging disc and was given medication to take with him but as the holiday progressed his back got much worse until he couldn't walk any more and he was in great pain.

We got to Southampton General hospital in the UK and were shocked to find out that he had terminal lung cancer which had spread to his bones! I guess it's every traveller's worst nightmare to get sick whilst abroad but this was even worse as it was touch and go whether he would be fit enough to travel home to Australia. In the end an emergency flight was arranged in Qantas business class using skybeds with two nurses travelling with us. Unfortunately it was such an unusually aggressive cancer that he died five weeks later in hospital and never got to see his home again!

I cancelled a cruise for May this year as it was going back to many ports that we had recently visited. I didn't cancel two cruises we had booked for October/November because he told me to think about still going with a girl friend so I am now doing just that. One is in Europe and I have friends from the US doing that one too. The other one is a transatlantic from Barcelona to Ft. Lauderdale. After the cruises we will stay with friends for a week before returning to Australia.

I have been encouraged to keep on cruising by the caring and positive comments so many of you have made and I thank you for that!

I have so many beautiful memories of our cruises together and the lovely friends we made along the way!

My website is not up to date but you might like to look at some of our trips and photos. I will work on it when I get a chance and I will carry on cruising! Even if I have to go solo!

www.thequeenslanders.com


Joyce

[wwinfl91]

HI Angela and Joyce,

Welcome to the thread. I want to express my sympathy for your loss but as I know my wife is in a better place I feel both of you also know that about your husbands. Although Trisha had been getting treated for cancer for 4 years her sudden passing after returning from an Alaskan cruise was a total shock and that best describes my state of mind after it happened. Luckily we had moved to Texas that Spring and my sister and her husband and their adult kids all pitched in to get through the first few weeks.

It has been 8 months and I still think about her everyday and I will never forget the 37 years of married life and 46 years of knowing one another. But I also know that I am still here in this world and I need to continue to live and enjoy life, which was what drove me to going on my first solo cruise in March. I agree going to ports that we had been to together was tough but it also brought back good memories of our time there.

I encourage both of you to keep cruising and keep enjoying life. It sounds like you are both responding very well and that is an encouraging sign for me that all of us can find our way through the passing of a spouse and still find enjoyment in life.

Please continue to follow and post on the thread as every post we all make may help another person facing the same challenges that we have faced and maybe our comments and actions will help them to get through it and move on.

Have a great next cruise.