Any April 1 fake cruise news rumors jokes stories

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#1
Wilmington,De,USA
23,153 Posts
Joined Dec 2002
Happy April Fools Day
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Grandeur of the Seas Nov 28, 2016

Cruising Bermuda Triangle (fun)
Wait for it
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Pacific Princess Oct 21 2001
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#2
South Yorkshire UK
4,006 Posts
Joined Mar 2008
No, nothing here at all. I expected something on the boards.
I'll nip over to the Princess board as they usually have one or 2 'foolish' posts
#3
Southwest Florida
10,690 Posts
Joined Nov 2004
Following in the steps of RyanAir, Celebrity has announced that all toilets on board their ships will be pay toilets including those in your stateroom.

Recognizing the demographics of their customers, Celebrity will be introducing the "Early Bird" seating in the main dining room which will start at 4:30PM

Animals made from towels will continue to be available in your staterooms at the discretion of your cabin attendant, however there will be a $5 a day charge for them

In an effort to provide you with more "candid" pictures, the Celebrity photographers will be quietly entering cabins randomly to take pictures.

Recommended Gratuities (and those required if you elect to use select dining) have been increased to include the Captain and the engine room crew as well as the "customer service" reps in the head office who will handle your complaints.

should I go on.....
#5
Fort Mill, South Carolina
6,625 Posts
Joined Jan 2007


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X Constellation, Feb 2014, Carib, NavOTS TA, April 14, 2012, Nav OTS W. Carib. April 8, 2012, X Constellation Sept 7, 2011 AMS to IST, RCI Jewel OTS May 6, 2011 TA, X Equinox Oct 31, 2010 TA, X Summit May 2010 Bermuda, X Infinity Panama Canal Sept. 25, 2009, Carnival Glory Jan. 2009 W. Carib., X Summit Feb. 2007 Panama Canal, Carib. Princess B2B E & W Carib Sept. 2006, Diamond Princess Alaska Aug. 2004, X Galaxy Feb 2004 S. Carib, Golden Princess Nov. 2003 E. Carib, Regent Voyager June 2003 Baltic, X Infinity Alaska Aug. 2001, X Galaxy Nov 2001 S. Carib, RCI Legend of the Seas Med, June 2000, X Horizon Sept. 1999 Bermuda, X Galaxy S Carib. April 1999</B>
#6
Central Wisconsin
2,948 Posts
Joined Feb 2009
Miami, Florida
April 1, 2011--

Celebrity Cruises announced today a new, innovative fuel savings policy. Henceforth, treadmills in the fitness centers will be connected to the ship's electrical generating system. All cruisers will be expected to provide ten miles per day worth of electricity to offset fuel costs otherwise used in operating the ships' generators. Said Celebrity spokesman R. U. Kiddinme, "All those people need to start pulling their weight. What do they think, they're on vacation? I don't care if they're 97, they're occupying the same cabin space as a healthy 24-year-old marathon runner. They don't have to go fast, just so we get ten miles a day out of 'em."

The online forum, Cruise Critic, immediately hailed this as an eco-friendly and cost saving measure, certain to boost sales of cruises in both the short and long term.
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Ruby Princess - February 7, 2009, 7 nights, Western Caribbean
Celebrity Solstice - January 17, 2010, 7 nights, Eastern Caribbean
Celebrity Summit - February 5, 2011, 7 nights, Southern Caribbean
Celebrity Millennium - August 17, 2012, 7 nights, Southbound Alaska
Sapphire Princess - May 11, 2013, 7 nights, Northbound Pacific Costal
Celebrity Summit - February 8, 2014, 7 nights, Southern Caribbean
Vision of the Seas - April 11, 2015, 15 nights, Eastbound Transatlantic
Crown Princess - February 13, 2016, 7 nights, Mexican Riviera



"There's a party all the time for them what choose." Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, The Muppet Show
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#7
Florida
2,095 Posts
Joined Jul 2007
Originally posted by u2cruiser
No, nothing here at all. I expected something on the boards.
I'll nip over to the Princess board as they usually have one or 2 'foolish' posts
Made me remember one I thought would be foolish, check the 11:00 am post entitled "Help" right here on the Celebrity Boards!

Ghstudio and Party - I enjoyed your posts!

Ken
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Caribbean Princess Eastern Caribbean May 2006, Caribbean Princess Western Caribbean May 2007, Carnival Sensation Eastern Caribbean September 2007, Celebrity Millennium Eastern Caribbean March 2008, Celebrity Solstice Eastern Caribbean March 2009, Ruby Princess Southern Caribbean March 2010, Celebrity Eclipse Western Caribbean April 2011, Emerald Princess Southern Caribbean March 2012, Caribbean Princess Southern Caribbean April 2013, Royal Princess Eastern Caribbean April 2014, Caribbean Princess Eastern Caribbean September 2014, Celebrity Silhouette Western Caribbean April 2015, Celebrity Summit Southern Caribbean April 2016, Celebrity Equinox Southern Caribbean Cruise May 2018.

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#9
Not at sea. :(
5,661 Posts
Joined Feb 2008
Miami, Florida
April 1, 2011

An enhancement was announced today by Celebrity Cruises regarding their Beverage Packages. In response to customer feedback, beginning May 1, 2011 all passengers who purchase a Beverage Package will be given a 2 liter commemorative bottle with their package information printed on the outside. The bottle is BPA free and comes with an optional straw for those who prefer one. Guests will no longer need to present their key cards to get their favorite wine, beer, or Martini as Wait staff will be able to just scan the bottles. Celebrity is positive this enhancement will be welcomed by their guests who will now be able to enjoy more of their favorite beverages, while making less frequent trips to the bars for refills. There will be a Two-for-0ne promotion beginning May 1, so call Celebrity or your Travel Agent today to take take advantage of this great deal.
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#10
Shalimar FL
5,108 Posts
Joined Jan 2008
Celebrity Cruise has just announced a new itinerary for the E Med. It will depart Latakia, Syria after spending two nights there to tour the whole of Syria, especially the Golan Heights where you can look down into the evil empire of Israel, followed by an overnight port call in Beirut Lebanon, allowing special tours of the 'Green Line' which separates the waring Lebanese factions. Skipping Israel and Egypt due to security issues, the next wonder portcall will be Benghazi, Libya (really the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamajiriya) and then to the highlight port of Tripoli where a local official will greet you in his personal family tent complex...a Mr Muammar Gaddafi and his family...where you will have a frontrow seat of the nightly fireworks and street parades!

By the way, don't miss the 'Help!' thread..a great list of 'to dos' for your next cruise!

Den
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#11
Central Wisconsin
2,948 Posts
Joined Feb 2009
Originally posted by derf5585
Since cruise ships are getting larger, ships are installing people movers like in airports. So one can get form the back of the ship to the stern easily.
How much easier can they make it?
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Steve

Ruby Princess - February 7, 2009, 7 nights, Western Caribbean
Celebrity Solstice - January 17, 2010, 7 nights, Eastern Caribbean
Celebrity Summit - February 5, 2011, 7 nights, Southern Caribbean
Celebrity Millennium - August 17, 2012, 7 nights, Southbound Alaska
Sapphire Princess - May 11, 2013, 7 nights, Northbound Pacific Costal
Celebrity Summit - February 8, 2014, 7 nights, Southern Caribbean
Vision of the Seas - April 11, 2015, 15 nights, Eastbound Transatlantic
Crown Princess - February 13, 2016, 7 nights, Mexican Riviera



"There's a party all the time for them what choose." Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, The Muppet Show
Click here for the video!
#12
2,549 Posts
Joined Jan 2009
Originally posted by C-Dragons
Miami, Florida
April 1, 2011

An enhancement was announced today by Celebrity Cruises regarding their Beverage Packages. In response to customer feedback, beginning May 1, 2011 all passengers who purchase a Beverage Package will be given a 2 liter commemorative bottle with their package information printed on the outside. The bottle is BPA free and comes with an optional straw for those who prefer one. Guests will no longer need to present their key cards to get their favorite wine, beer, or Martini as Wait staff will be able to just scan the bottles. Celebrity is positive this enhancement will be welcomed by their guests who will now be able to enjoy more of their favorite beverages, while making less frequent trips to the bars for refills. There will be a Two-for-0ne promotion beginning May 1, so call Celebrity or your Travel Agent today to take take advantage of this great deal.

STRAWS????

Don't you think crooked passengers will share the straws with their spouses? Or, worse still, all their friends)
#13
Southwest Florida
10,690 Posts
Joined Nov 2004
Originally posted by derf5585
Since cruise ships are getting larger, ships are installing people movers like in airports. So one can get form the back of the ship to the stern easily.
elegantly subtle...
#14
Phoenix, AZ
717 Posts
Joined Aug 2009
"Instead of instituting fuel surcharges, the nation's leading cruise lines have now decided to take up a collection plate before the nightly theatrical performance. After the collection plate is passed around, the crew will examine the take and decide which ports, if any, the ship can reach. This will be done before both the early and late showtimes so that all passengers may partake. If a suitable port is within range, fuel will be immediately purchased and the ship will set sail. If not, the ship will remain overnight (RON) in the current port until a sufficient take has been amassed."

"Those on transatlantic voyages are encouraged to give especially generously," says Celebrity Cruises' CEO Daniel J. Hanrahan.
#15
3,549 Posts
Joined May 2010
BREAKING NEWS:

Celebrity Cruises today announced a new cruise category that will be made available on all of its' ships. Appropriately labeled "CAW," this category offers cruisers the opportunity to work off their cruise indebtedness instead of paying for it. 'Cruise and Work' will allow us to decrease our contract workforce by approximately 25%, according to Dan Hanrahan during a news conference this morning.

The program will be available in all cabin tiers, from inside cabins to the PH suite. "Of course, the amount of time spent working will be dependent upon the cabin category the passenger is in." Hanrahan went on to indicate that the work assignment could be anywhere on the ship: "We're not just assigning cabin attendant duties here; folks could work in the laundry, the Gift Shops, as part of the entertainment staff, in the spa; we might even use them in the kitchens."

Rollout of the new program is expected to take place in May of 2011, while the ships are sailing in Europe. Hanrahan said that the officers will determine the work assignments; but indicated that each passenger who signs up for the program will have a list of 3-4 jobs to choose from.

Celebrity Cruises, long hailed for its' innovative approach to cruising, is excited to be the FIRST cruise line to offer this program. Speak to your travel agent or a Celebrity cruise consultant if you are interested.
#16
Phoenix, AZ
717 Posts
Joined Aug 2009
Celebrity cruises has decided upon a new fuel saving measure: using the lighter-than-air qualities of hydrogen to lift the cruise ship out of the water.

A new superstructure will be constructed on top of the highest deck of all ships except for the Century. This deck will then be sealed and filled with hydrogen gas. The hydrogen gas will push upwards and thus make the ship appear to be lighter against the water.

"Having a lighter cruise ship is paramount for saving on hefty fuel expenses" says Konstantinos Patsoulas, a Celebrity Cruises captain. "We've tried everything from newer, lighter dinner plates to removing ice pitchers from the cabins; but, none of that has had a sufficiently large effect."

"We're hoping that with this new hydrogen deck that we'll be able to finally reach our corporate goal of 60 gallons [of gas] to the [nautical] mile."
#17
Ottawa Canada
682 Posts
Joined Nov 2009
Originally posted by Denny01
Celebrity Cruise has just announced a new itinerary for the E Med. It will depart Latakia, Syria after spending two nights there to tour the whole of Syria, especially the Golan Heights where you can look down into the evil empire of Israel, followed by an overnight port call in Beirut Lebanon, allowing special tours of the 'Green Line' which separates the waring Lebanese factions. Skipping Israel and Egypt due to security issues, the next wonder portcall will be Benghazi, Libya (really the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamajiriya) and then to the highlight port of Tripoli where a local official will greet you in his personal family tent complex...a Mr Muammar Gaddafi and his family...where you will have a frontrow seat of the nightly fireworks and street parades!

By the way, don't miss the 'Help!' thread..a great list of 'to dos' for your next cruise!

Den
Persian Gulf cruises are offering a special 'Pirates Entertainment Night'.
#18
Wilmington,De,USA
23,153 Posts
Joined Dec 2002
Celebrity has contracted with NASA to build a Cruise Space Ship. To be named the Celebrity Enterprise.

Special rates for the balconies

Space Hotels: The Cruise Ship Analogy
from
http://www.spacefuture.com/archive/s..._analogy.shtml

Future is a space cruise ship
from
http://www.camlawblog.com/articles/r...e-cruise-ship/
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Next
Grandeur of the Seas Nov 28, 2016

Cruising Bermuda Triangle (fun)
Wait for it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BDCn0L7TwM

Pacific Princess Oct 21 2001
Golden Princess Dec 7 2002
Coral Princess Dec 9 2003
Carnival Miracle 17 Oct 2004
Carnival Paradise 4 April 2005
Carnival Triumph 30 July 2005
Norwegian Dawn 11 Dec 2005
Carnival Destiny 18 June 2006
NCL Spirit 10 Dec 2006
Carnival Miracle 10 Oct 2007
Diamond Princess 17 May 2008
Explorer of the Sea 12 Dec 2008
NCL Jewel Oct 10, 2009
Celebrity Mercury 29 Oct 2010
Celebrity Silhouette 6 Nov 2011
Carnival Pride May 13, 2013,
RCCL "Mariner" Oct 20, 2012
Golden Princess April 10, 2013
Emerald Princess Oct 26 2013
Quantum of the Sea Dec 12, 2014
Grandeur of the Seas Nov 29, 2015
Norwegian Gem Apr 11, 2016

[email protected]
#19
Honolulu
584 Posts
Joined Nov 2010
Celebrity Cruises announces a special Noro Virus Cruise on the Solistice. Each passenger must present a medical certificate attesting to an active noro infection. Vomit bags will be given free in each cabin in place of a tote bag. Only the buffet will be open during the cruise. Hand washing in the restrooms is discouraged. Smoking (and vomiting) will be allowed on all balconies Ship is scheduled for dry dock after the cruise.
#20
1,960 Posts
Joined Mar 2002
Originally posted by derf5585
Since cruise ships are getting larger, ships are installing people movers like in airports. So one can get form the back of the ship to the stern easily.
Doesn't the elevator already do that?
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Jim