To be, or not to be...a shrimp

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#1
3,985 Posts
Joined Jun 2005
With all of the furore in recent days regarding these tiny creatures, this is my take on the whole Shrimpgate situation...

Yesterday evening.....

Reports have come in of ugly scenes aboard the Carnival Shrimp tonight after a passenger took the last ever shrimp cocktail in the lido buffet.

The cruise director had tried to calm the protesters with chocolate cake but to no avail. In the end he was forced to run his tighty whitey's up the flagpole in clear submission against the baying mob who were demanding their shrimp cocktails be reinstated.

The cruise line issued a statement saying that no matter what, the shrimps would not be returning anytime soon...sources say that the shrimpgate conspiracy was started by a group of unruly lobsters who refused to co-operate and be boiled alive, the shrimps came to the rescue and were summarily sacked by the cruise line for breaking their contract of employment.

No shrimps were available for comment, however one shrimp unofficially told reporters that he quite enjoyed the passenger food fight as it had been about time they wore the hot arse sauce instead of the shrimps.....
And today's edition....

Reports are coming in that negotiations are underway between Carnival and the leader of the Crustacean Union, Mr Pinky Prawn, this evening.

After the ugly scenes reported aboard Carnival Shrimp last night, the two sides went to arbitration & mediation in an effort to sort out their differences following the revolting shrimps & lobsters had brought the galley to a standstill after the lobsters refused to co-operate with the chef, Ivor Biggun, and be placed into boiling water to die.

Although negotiations are indeed ongoing, the passengers are still simmering in their fight to retain their cherished shrimp cocktails, many stated to reporters that it was their human right to eat them and that their children had experienced not only severe withdrawal symptoms but also insomnia that had caused the parents to miss the late night comedy show on board.

John Heald, the cruise director, who so valiantly tried to calm the baying passengers last night is understood to be confined to his cabin after he ran naked around the jogging track in total dispair at losing his favourite tighty whitey's up the flagpole last night.

So far the negotiations have been amicable, although there is some doubt as to whether an agreement to reinstate the shrimps can be reached due to them escaping to another cruise vessel, the much maligned Norwegian Epic Escape.

The lobsters, in the meantime, have been seen picketing the galleys, forcing the passengers to suffer the indignities of eating Spam sandwiches & fritters..
Make of the above what you will, it was written to lighten up the mood a little and to add a bit of fun to the proceedings.

I originally posted it on John Heald's Facebook page and he, with many others, have found it very enjoyable & funny. For such a tiny crustacean, the humble shrimp sure does seem to pack one heck of a punch with some of you....

#2
563 Posts
Joined Oct 2006
Bahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah aha Hysterical!!!! Thanks for the great laugh and big smile on my face!!
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bougiet
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#3
Amsterdam. Holland
708 Posts
Joined Sep 2002
Brilliant!!!! This is Gold, ryder
I laughed myself silly on the FB page, still laughing, tnx again!
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#4
South Florida
1,146 Posts
Joined Dec 2010
I agree this was very funny
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Staci

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#5
Atlanta, GA
1,307 Posts
Joined Nov 2007
O M G Thank you thank you thank you
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#7
Amsterdam. Holland
708 Posts
Joined Sep 2002
Huge topic kick.

Read and laugh, people, this is so much more fun then all the whining about the new menu's :d:d:d:d
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#8
seattle
652 Posts
Joined Sep 2010
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! too funnny!
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#9
M.S. EARTH
10,075 Posts
Joined Jan 2004
Originally posted by Goldryder
With all of the furore in recent days regarding these tiny creatures, this is my take on the whole Shrimpgate situation...

Yesterday evening.....



And today's edition....



Make of the above what you will, it was written to lighten up the mood a little and to add a bit of fun to the proceedings.

I originally posted it on John Heald's Facebook page and he, with many others, have found it very enjoyable & funny. For such a tiny crustacean, the humble shrimp sure does seem to pack one heck of a punch with some of you....

time to create a facebook personality page about a missing shrimp.
#10
M.S. EARTH
10,075 Posts
Joined Jan 2004
btw, just don't get caught up by the distraction. the shrimp is a diversion to the downgraded menus. they are hoping once the shrimp is restored, everyone sighs collectively thinking they won, when the downgraded menu remains.
#12
Cypress, Texas
795 Posts
Joined Apr 2007
This is absolutely hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!!
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#13
Florida
20,184 Posts
Joined Nov 2008
We love them
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#15
Maryland
948 Posts
Joined Jul 2007
There is an unconfirmed rumor that Crystal, Oceana and Azamara have requested that Carnival ships maintain a seperation of at least 500 yards during dining hours for fear that passengers will attempt to board them when they smell the shrimp being prepared.
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Michael
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#16
Earl North Carolina
970 Posts
Joined May 2008
Please pass the monitor squeegee! Mine is all messed up now!
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#17
3,985 Posts
Joined Jun 2005
Following all night negotiations tween Carnival & the leader of the Crustcean Union, Mr Pinky Prawn, it has been announced that the Tiger Prawns have now joined the shrimps & lobsters in an all out strike.

The latest development comes after several shrimp were manhandled by security outside the galley aboard Carnival Shrimp last night. The chef, Ivor Biggun, allegedly grabbed a shrimp by its tail and threatened to drown it in 357 sauce to teach it a lesson. The Tiger Prawns with the help of several lobsters pounced on Ivor Biggun, held him down and slapped him around the face with wet lettuce leaves until he released the distressed shrimp from his grasp.

The current condition of the shrimp victim is not known although Mr Pinky Prawn hopes that his injuries are not life threatening. The shrimp's next of kin have been informed and the local police have been informed.

In other developements, it has been revealed that the boss of Carnival is about to abseil down onto Carnival Shrimp to take over from the now completely insane CD, John Heald, who has been made into a shivering wreck since the Shrimpgate situation started a few days ago.....more details later today...
#18
Austin texas
30 Posts
Joined Jun 2011
Originally posted by H82seaUgo
btw, just don't get caught up by the distraction. the shrimp is a diversion to the downgraded menus. they are hoping once the shrimp is restored, everyone sighs collectively thinking they won, when the downgraded menu remains.
LOL this is the funniest post. It's so funny to see this loser be so consistently negative.

Cool story bro!
#19
Clearwater, FL
5,234 Posts
Joined Jan 2004
Originally posted by qlz19
LOL this is the funniest post. It's so funny to see this loser be so consistently negative.

Cool story bro!
What'll be really funny is when they start serving pretzel sticks and cheez whiz for dinner and the people who made them what they are leave for greener pastures and Larry the Cable Guy is doing 7 nights in the comedy club. Now that'll be funny!
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#20
888 Posts
Joined Feb 2010
OMG! This is hilarious!

You should all read the last part of John Heald's blog from last night...it will have you rolling as well!
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