Dumbest Questions Asked

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Not voo-doo...but what do YOU do?
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#1
North Carolina
458 Posts
Joined Aug 2008
I'm infatuated with stupid questions people ask while on a cruise. For some reason, the moment some step foot aboard a ship they lose their rational thought process.
I overheard a cruiser request to speak with the captain to tell him to, "move the boat because the seas are too rough and I don't want to spill my wine."
There's always the list of questions presented by the CD, and I believe each should be printed at Guest Services reminding passengers what not to ask. However, please add to this thread the dumbest, most ridiculous question and/or request you have had the pleasure of over-hearing aboard. Thanks!

What time is the midnight buffet?
Are there beaches on the island?
Is the island totally surrounded by water?
Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?
Is the water in the pool rough because it's seawater?
Does the ship generate its own electricity?
Does the crew live onboard?
How much are the tickets for the tender?
How can I tell which pictures are ours?
Do these steps go up or down?
Is the water in the toilet fresh or salt water?
Do we have to go to the mandatory lifeboat drill?
Will the DJ play music in the disco?
Do you grow your own food onboard?
What do you do with the ice carvings after they've melted?
What temperature are the ice cubes kept at?
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#2
Oceanside, NY
2 Posts
Joined Feb 2012
While waiting for a drink at the bar on Half Moon Cay (Holland America Line's private island), a younger gentlemen walked into the bar and asked "Where are the local bars?"
#3
Virginia Beach, Va.
364 Posts
Joined Sep 2005
On NCL to the Dinning Host, Why didn't we get a table assignment and a dinning time. Dah!!!!!!
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#4
British Columbia
6,315 Posts
Joined Oct 2004
Originally posted by mbjboyle
I'm infatuated with stupid questions people ask while on a cruise. For some reason, the moment some step foot aboard a ship they lose their rational thought process.
I overheard a cruiser request to speak with the captain to tell him to, "move the boat because the seas are too rough and I don't want to spill my wine."
There's always the list of questions presented by the CD, and I believe each should be printed at Guest Services reminding passengers what not to ask. However, please add to this thread the dumbest, most ridiculous question and/or request you have had the pleasure of over-hearing aboard. Thanks!

What time is the midnight buffet?
Are there beaches on the island?
Is the island totally surrounded by water?
Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?
Is the water in the pool rough because it's seawater?
Does the ship generate its own electricity?
Does the crew live onboard?
How much are the tickets for the tender?
How can I tell which pictures are ours?
Do these steps go up or down?
Is the water in the toilet fresh or salt water?
Do we have to go to the mandatory lifeboat drill?
Will the DJ play music in the disco?
Do you grow your own food onboard?
What do you do with the ice carvings after they've melted?
What temperature are the ice cubes kept at?
Dare I ask it? Did you sleep with a Cruise Directer to get those questions?

john
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#5
Dallas TX
635 Posts
Joined Jun 2007
"What would happen if we hit an iceburg?".........we were on a Carribean cruise.
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#6
British Columbia
6,315 Posts
Joined Oct 2004
Originally posted by gtouch
"What would happen if we hit an iceburg?".........we were on a Carribean cruise.
Was there a very poor navigator working the ship???

john
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2010SEE THE WORLD. I do my best!

Homeric 1 Quebec 1955.
Windward Pacific Coastal 1996.
Song of America Mexico 1997.
NCL Wind Alaska 1998.
NCL Wind Caribbean 1999.
Westerdam [Ex Homeric 2] Alaska 2000 -- Norway E Caribbean Big Band 2000.
Sun Princess Panama Canal 2001---NCL Sun, Canada, New England 2001.
Dawn Princess Hawaii 2002.
Statendam Sea of Cortez and Pacific Coastal 2003.
Coral Princess Alaska and Coral Princess Alaska 2004.
Mercury Mexico 2005.--- Sea Princess Caribbean ---2005
Statendam Osaka Trans Pacific 19 day 2006.
Star Princess, British Isles and Trans Atlantic 2006.
Coral Princess Panama Canal 2007.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip from Vancouver 2008.
Coral Princess Sept 2009 Vancouver Whittier B/B
Coral Princess May 15th 2010 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip, Vancouver, 2011.
Coral Princess May 14th 2012 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam Vancouver-Mexico, return, Oct 9th-23rd 2012.
Zaandam Hawaii round trip, April 18th 2013.
Coral Princess,Sept. 11th-25th, 2013. 14 day Alaska, Vancouver return.
Golden Princess, Hawaii, Tahiti, Apr 1st-29th 2014
Grand Princess Van-Hawaii, return Apr 6th to 21st.
Grand Princess April 21st Van. -Pacific, return, 10 days 2015
#7
North Carolina
458 Posts
Joined Aug 2008
Originally posted by mr green
Dare I ask it? Did you sleep with a Cruise Directer to get those questions?

john
Some from the usual list the CD uses on each cruise. Some from others' suggestions.
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#8
Midwest
21 Posts
Joined Feb 2012
During the muster drill aboard Navigator of the Seas:

Why would we need a life vest if we are getting in to the lifeboats?


That is a question I hope to never find the answer to!
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#9
British Columbia
6,315 Posts
Joined Oct 2004
Returning from life boat drill one time, we were instructed NOT to take our life jackets off for safety reasons, 'til we got back to our cabins.
A sweet young thing came up to me in a passage way, and asked. 'Will you please read my cabin number for me, as I don't know where to go?'

john
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2010SEE THE WORLD. I do my best!

Homeric 1 Quebec 1955.
Windward Pacific Coastal 1996.
Song of America Mexico 1997.
NCL Wind Alaska 1998.
NCL Wind Caribbean 1999.
Westerdam [Ex Homeric 2] Alaska 2000 -- Norway E Caribbean Big Band 2000.
Sun Princess Panama Canal 2001---NCL Sun, Canada, New England 2001.
Dawn Princess Hawaii 2002.
Statendam Sea of Cortez and Pacific Coastal 2003.
Coral Princess Alaska and Coral Princess Alaska 2004.
Mercury Mexico 2005.--- Sea Princess Caribbean ---2005
Statendam Osaka Trans Pacific 19 day 2006.
Star Princess, British Isles and Trans Atlantic 2006.
Coral Princess Panama Canal 2007.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip from Vancouver 2008.
Coral Princess Sept 2009 Vancouver Whittier B/B
Coral Princess May 15th 2010 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip, Vancouver, 2011.
Coral Princess May 14th 2012 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam Vancouver-Mexico, return, Oct 9th-23rd 2012.
Zaandam Hawaii round trip, April 18th 2013.
Coral Princess,Sept. 11th-25th, 2013. 14 day Alaska, Vancouver return.
Golden Princess, Hawaii, Tahiti, Apr 1st-29th 2014
Grand Princess Van-Hawaii, return Apr 6th to 21st.
Grand Princess April 21st Van. -Pacific, return, 10 days 2015
#12
virginia beach, va
1,382 Posts
Joined Oct 2010
My favorite from the cruise director library 'Does the ship have cable or satellite tv?'
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#13
Toronto
3,242 Posts
Joined Jan 2011
Sounds like a skit by all the Cruise Directors on all the Carnival ships I've taken. Always funny
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Ft. Lauderdale, San Juan, St. Maarten, St. Kitts
#14
Northern Nevada
2,289 Posts
Joined Jan 2008
Originally posted by freshprincess
When cruising in Alaska, I was so enchanted by the snowcapped peaks and glaciers around us while getting off the ship that I asked "what elevation are we at?"
I have to admit this had me laughing - after thinking for a second how high Alaska was - duhhh
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Enjoying life one trip at a time.
#15
Virginia
185 Posts
Joined Jul 2009
Originally posted by freshprincess
When cruising in Alaska, I was so enchanted by the snowcapped peaks and glaciers around us while getting off the ship that I asked "what elevation are we at?"
When I went on my Alaskan cruise, somebody asked that question. My roommate didn't know why I thought that was funny and asked me, "Well, what elevation ARE we at?"
#16
Minnesota, USA
250 Posts
Joined Mar 2012
Originally posted by Moto Guzzi
When I went on my Alaskan cruise, somebody asked that question. My roommate didn't know why I thought that was funny and asked me, "Well, what elevation ARE we at?"
I'm laughing so hard right now I think I woke up my son. It's only that funny to me because I had to think about it for a minute and then the lightbulb turned on...."Drrrrr...you're at sea level!"
#17
79 Posts
Joined Jul 2008
We just got on the forward port side elevator on deck 8 (pool deck) and noticed that the floor of the elevator was very wet, someone had failed to dry off before returning to their cabin. The elevator floor was marble and with the water, it constituted a slip hazard.

We stopped by the reception desk on deck 4 to let them know and recommend that it be cleaned up before someone got hurt.

The exchange went like this...
Us: "We just got off the forward port side elevator and there is a significant amount of water on floor of the elevator. You should have someone clean it be before a guest slips and falls on it."
Receptionist asked with a straight face, "What deck is the elevator on?".
Us: "Forward elevator, port side."
Receptionist: "Ok, what floor is is on?".
Us: "It was on deck four when we got off, the elevator could be on any deck now. The forward elevator, port side. Someone could slip and hurt themselves on the wet floor."
Receptionist: "Ok, but what floor is it on?"
Us: "It's an elevator. It may be on any floor."
Receptionist: "Oh, ok, thanks."

Not sure the receptionist ever really got the point.
#18
British Columbia
6,315 Posts
Joined Oct 2004
Some years ago we ran into a single gentleman from our part of the world, who, unfortunately did not seem 'quite right'.
On the first day he told us that he could not get cold water from his tap, after running it for ten minutes, and on second day he asked us to 'Come and listen to my toilet, it does not sound right'. We declined, and thankfully were able to avoid him after that.

john
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2010SEE THE WORLD. I do my best!

Homeric 1 Quebec 1955.
Windward Pacific Coastal 1996.
Song of America Mexico 1997.
NCL Wind Alaska 1998.
NCL Wind Caribbean 1999.
Westerdam [Ex Homeric 2] Alaska 2000 -- Norway E Caribbean Big Band 2000.
Sun Princess Panama Canal 2001---NCL Sun, Canada, New England 2001.
Dawn Princess Hawaii 2002.
Statendam Sea of Cortez and Pacific Coastal 2003.
Coral Princess Alaska and Coral Princess Alaska 2004.
Mercury Mexico 2005.--- Sea Princess Caribbean ---2005
Statendam Osaka Trans Pacific 19 day 2006.
Star Princess, British Isles and Trans Atlantic 2006.
Coral Princess Panama Canal 2007.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip from Vancouver 2008.
Coral Princess Sept 2009 Vancouver Whittier B/B
Coral Princess May 15th 2010 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam, Hawaii, round trip, Vancouver, 2011.
Coral Princess May 14th 2012 Vancouver Whittier B2B.
Zaandam Vancouver-Mexico, return, Oct 9th-23rd 2012.
Zaandam Hawaii round trip, April 18th 2013.
Coral Princess,Sept. 11th-25th, 2013. 14 day Alaska, Vancouver return.
Golden Princess, Hawaii, Tahiti, Apr 1st-29th 2014
Grand Princess Van-Hawaii, return Apr 6th to 21st.
Grand Princess April 21st Van. -Pacific, return, 10 days 2015
#19
Utah
1,798 Posts
Joined Sep 2006
Originally posted by Moto Guzzi
When I went on my Alaskan cruise, somebody asked that question. My roommate didn't know why I thought that was funny and asked me, "Well, what elevation ARE we at?"
Laughing so hard, had to share with DH. His response: And these people are allowed to reproduce!!!
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