How to persuade dh that Ocean Adventures is safe

[Curise4me]

Help! We have booked a cruise that leaves the end of May for our family (two boys, ages 6 and 4). My dh refuses to allow them to attend any Ocean Adventure programs as he believes that the staff are not screened and we do not know them (I know they are indeed screened). Yes, there are two completely different parenting styles here. I know the kids would love the programs and would probably end up board just following us around the entire time. Any thoughts on how to I can help him to reconsider would be most welcome! Thank you!

[cb at sea]

Let him take them and meet the counselors....

So far, I've never heard a story or report of ANY child coming to harm because of a kid's club employee....ever. He's being unfair to your kids...they'd probably enjoy the time with other kids!
He can always go and "check on" them....and he'll see that they're quite safe.

[Friend100]

Maybe you can at least get his agreement for the 4 of you to only visit the club on embarkation day, then check out the facility, ask the staff questions, and see how comfortable you all are before committing? You don't need to have a confirmed "Yes" or "No" now before the cruise, do you? Maybe you DH will be ok but your kids don't like it, maybe they will.

[chrisc71]

I say go and meet also it might put him at ease. Maybe show him threads form people who went on your ship and shared their experiences with OA.

Also remind him that as a business most cruise lines depend on families. No families, no more company. They are not going to risk their whole business by not hiring competent personnel for this area. This might sound a touch cold but it is true.

[Libra1975]

I would calmly and happily say "well that's fine sweetheart, however as I will be reading a book by the pool for the cruise you do realise this will mean you will be doing the childcare by yourself during Adventure Ocean opening hours?"
And then stick to it. Either he looks after his children or he puts them in childcare.

The ONLY misgiving I had was that the babysitters weren't CRB checked (which is a UK thing and doesn't actually mean a lot) but they provide 2 which I am guessing is to prevent any improper behaviour.

[Berrybaby]

Your poor kids will miss out on so much fun! My 6 year old used to cry when I collected him in the evenings! Thy are very structured, I tried removing my boy once as we were going to miss the ice show and they were on deck 5 doing a performance. Under no circumstances were they letting me take him until I had "signed him out" of their care which I was very impressed with. Go and meet them all and tell them your husbands concerns and I'm sure they will talk with him

[Dayenu]

Usually the captain and all department heads come to a meet and greet. Make sure your husband attends, and there you can ask about screening and training.

[B_Mc]

Good advice re: get him to meet them and ask questions before deciding! I would probably be saying "then have fun with them all afternoon, see you at 5 pm!"

[donaldsc]

Originally Posted by Curise4me

Help! We have booked a cruise that leaves the end of May for our family (two boys, ages 6 and 4). My dh refuses to allow them to attend any Ocean Adventure programs as he believes that the staff are not screened and we do not know them (I know they are indeed screened). Yes, there are two completely different parenting styles here. I know the kids would love the programs and would probably end up board just following us around the entire time. Any thoughts on how to I can help him to reconsider would be most welcome! Thank you!

Tell your DH that the kids are totally his responsibility for the kids for the entire cruise and you plan to have a lot of private alone time. Can you imagine how the kids will feel being with a dad such as you describe 24/7? Priceless.

DON

[crusinmama06]

Originally Posted by Libra1975

I would calmly and happily say "well that's fine sweetheart, however as I will be reading a book by the pool for the cruise you do realise this will mean you will be doing the childcare by yourself during Adventure Ocean opening hours?"
And then stick to it. Either he looks after his children or he puts them in childcare.

HAHAHAHA! I love this answer!

I have to say we have all been there (or many of us have to some extent). On my daughter's first cruise over a decade ago, I was like your husband. I swore she was going to break out of the kids club and fall off the top deck

We all have some degree of comfort and he will find his. I obviously did since I am now the biggest cheerleader for those kids clubs (you can see all of the schedules in my signature).

Take him to the open house on the first day. Let him ask the questions. Let him find his comfort zone. And if he doesn't allow the kids to go - then hide out in the Adult Only Solarium all week and declare it a "mommy relaxation vacation" lol

[Squall]

Originally Posted by crusinmama06

I swore she was going to break out of the kids club and fall off the top deck

This is me! I have nightmares about it. I expect to be proven wrong, but I can't help but worry, they're my babies.

[6rugrats]

I have a friend who used to be a counselor at Club HAL. They are all screened, fingerprinted, background checked, etc. I would assume that RCI is exactly the same.

I don't know about Adventure Ocean, but on HAL, everything is out in the open. There were no hidden areas. You could see exactly what everyone was doing. You can come in and check the kids anytime you like.

As already suggested, have him come in and meet the staff and see what it's like. Suggest some fun "adult" things you can do without the kids. He's a guy. He'll come around .

[TheCalicoCat]

On Carnival for our 2 & the 3 year old, we had to go to a briefing the first night - to get the cell phone so that they can call you if there are any issues - lots of crying, excessively bad/ dangerous behavior. Yes, some kids get kicked out - "they" RCI/Carnival/etc. can not afford to have any incidents.

We waiting to cruise again until our son was 2 so that he could have age appropriate activities to enjoy.

[Onessa]

I'm thinking the OP may have bigger problems than just this cruise

Kids need some indepenence (level to vary by age). A cruise is a great opportunity for your kids to grow.

• By participating in AO programs, your kids will be able to meet other kids -- from other parts of your country and from other countries. Few of the kids are traveling with other kids they know, so it is a wonderful level playing field for your kids to test out their interpersonal skills.
• The kids will need to learn the rules of this new environment and adapt to them.
• The programs have cultural, creative and sports components -- they may get a chance to do something they've never done before.
• AO does some really cool things that your kid may not otherwise have the opportunity to do. Over the years my DD has met the captians; taken backstage tours, bridge tours, galley tours; and on Celebrity met the glassblowers and saw one of her drawings made into a glass sculpture!)

And on a cruise liner, they get this opportunity in a safe and secure environment -

• The programs have been developed by people with proven expertise. There are educators and other folks who put together the framework for the activities your kids will be participating in -- AO is not simply a big room where you dump off the kids and a free-for-all ensues! As another poster pointed out, the cruise lines depend upon families for a large chunk of their business -- they put some real thought into these programs.
• The counselors are all vetted. ALL crew members go through extensive screening -- the counselors for the youth programs go through the standard screening and additional screenings. All counselors must have a four-year college degree and the degree must be in a field related to recreation or education, the counselors must have years of experience working with children. The counselors are certified in first aid.
• The area is secure (no one other than kids and counselors allowed). Your child must be checked in and checked out (at older ages YOU can decide if your kid can check him/her self in and out).
  The areas are designed for kids (age appropriate)
  The program has published procedures for dealing with emergencies and the crew/counselors participate in drills to verify that they are ready to deal with emergencies.

In short, your kids could well be in better circumstances than if you had left them home with an aunt or uncle (at least some of my kid's aunts or uncles! ). I sat for my sister once for a long weekend when her son was 4YO -- I had no kids of my own at the time, no experience with kids (I'm the youngest and never even babysat when I was a teen). I was a computer programmer at the time (no medical/first aid training). And my downtown loft apartment overlooked the factory where Jeffery Dahmer was then working ! Nothing happened to DN that weekend (he's now in his 20s), but had anything happened, I don't know that I would have been qualified to react properly.

DH has got to give the kids opportunities to grow -- AO is a good opportunity.

[Curise4me]

Thank you all for your advice and making me laugh! I will drag him to the meet & greet and then if he does not agree to them attending AO, I will sign them all up (dh & boys) and you can find me poolside with a lovely cocktail in my hand.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Originally Posted by cb at sea

Let him take them and meet the counselors....

So far, I've never heard a story or report of ANY child coming to harm because of a kid's club employee....ever. He's being unfair to your kids...they'd probably enjoy the time with other kids!
He can always go and "check on" them....and he'll see that they're quite safe.

Originally Posted by chrisc71

I say go and meet also it might put him at ease. Maybe show him threads form people who went on your ship and shared their experiences with OA.

Also remind him that as a business most cruise lines depend on families. No families, no more company. They are not going to risk their whole business by not hiring competent personnel for this area. This might sound a touch cold but it is true.

Originally Posted by 6rugrats

I have a friend who used to be a counselor at Club HAL. They are all screened, fingerprinted, background checked, etc. I would assume that RCI is exactly the same.

I don't know about Adventure Ocean, but on HAL, everything is out in the open. There were no hidden areas. You could see exactly what everyone was doing. You can come in and check the kids anytime you like.

As already suggested, have him come in and meet the staff and see what it's like. Suggest some fun "adult" things you can do without the kids. He's a guy. He'll come around .

On some of our cruises, the staff members will introduce themselves and tell a little about themselves (if you go during vacation times, many of the kids' staff are teachers; others started as camp counselors). They do background checks because they can't afford to have a scandal in light of all the families that cruise.

On Carnival and Princess (and I imagine on the other lines), you'll find a packet of info for the group your child is in, including a daily listing of activities. Have your husband read it. If he can't agree it sounds like fun for your kids, IMO he's a big selfish. It's the kids' vacations as well as yours.

Does your husband forbid them from going to camp? What about school?

[crusinmama06]

Crusin chick is right. On RCI as well, they release a bio page on the first day that lists their credentials. They all have some sort of early child development background. And of course, they have been background checked. I have never seen an issue with kids club crew before. Regular crew YES. I have seen news stories about ship's entertainment crew going back to the cabin with a guest. But I have never seen anything about the kids crews.

[Stratus22]

While on Topic, My husband and I decided on taking our 2 kids on the Explorer. We read reviews about Disney and after consideration decided on our first cruise with RCCL. We decided on the Explorer because it's an easy drive for us. Just wondering if anyone has ever done the "My Family Dining" and what your thought's on it are? Do we have to sign them up everyday or can we just drop them off on our own? Which is easier? We are going April 2014 as our little one will then be 3 and the oldest will be 6. Do they keep the age groups seperated?? Do they have to get served the same menu every night? Would the Junior suite be O.K. for a family of 4?? And my final question, if you used AO did you find you had alot of alone time with your husband or wife? We are looking forward to a few hours of us time on the decks. Wow, the excitement is building for us, now if RCCL would just release the Schedule. We've heard great things about RCCL and that is one big reason why we want to sail with them. Sorry so many questions, again, we are virgins to all of this

[crusinmama06]

Originally Posted by Stratus22

While on Topic, My husband and I decided on taking our 2 kids on the Explorer. We read reviews about Disney and after consideration decided on our first cruise with RCCL. We decided on the Explorer because it's an easy drive for us. Just wondering if anyone has ever done the "My Family Dining" and what your thought's on it are? Do we have to sign them up everyday or can we just drop them off on our own? Which is easier? We are going April 2014 as our little one will then be 3 and the oldest will be 6. Do they keep the age groups seperated?? Do they have to get served the same menu every night? Would the Junior suite be O.K. for a family of 4?? And my final question, if you used AO did you find you had alot of alone time with your husband or wife? We are looking forward to a few hours of us time on the decks. Wow, the excitement is building for us, now if RCCL would just release the Schedule. We've heard great things about RCCL and that is one big reason why we want to sail with them. Sorry so many questions, again, we are virgins to all of this

My time family dining - the Adventure Ocean staff comes to you in the main dining room. You don't have to drop the kids off. The kids eat with you as they normally would (a little accelerated for timing for them) and the kids club comes to get them. So the menu is whatever they want off the kids menu or the adult menu (as it normally would be)

If you want them to go eat with the AO staff, then that's a different program and that is not offered every night. They have kids dinners at places like Johnny rockets (for ships that have them) and the Windjammer. Yes, those you have to sign up for in advance.

You asked if they kept the kids separated - you mean at kids dinner? Yes they CAN. I think there were a few times that my girls sat together.

Yes, a JS is a nice size for a young Fam of 4. My girls had to sleep in the same bed though. The second bed in the JS is a full queen. So as they get older, they don't like the JS as much.

Alone time - depends on the personality of your children. My girls get onboard a ship and I have to beg them to come out of the kids clubs. Your children may be different.

[bus man]

I'm betting that the OP is a stay-at-home mom (i.e. they've never been in day care) and that her DH doesn't do much of the child care on his off-hours -- because he obviously doesn't realize that his wife (the OP) needs some "just her" time away from the kids!

OP, might I suggest that sometime prior to the cruise, you go away for the weekend and leave the kids with DH. Tell him that they are totally his responsibility for that weekend; he doesn't get to enlist his sister-in-law, neighbor, co-worker, or anyone else to help. When you get back, assuming he survived his ordeal, tell him that now he has a little taste of what your life is like. Further, tell him that the cruise is as much your vacation as it is his, and that you will need another break from your full-time job as your kids' mom. Odds are, after having experienced what it's like to take care of the kids all by himself, he'll be begging you to let him place them in Adventure Ocean!