Introvert - Extrovert Ideas for Traveling Together

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#1
Nemo, TX
1,387 Posts
Joined Feb 2009
Hi Folks,

One of the things I adore about cruising is that my husband (the introvert) and I (the extrovert) can both find happiness, still share a tiny room for quite a few days, and still spend time together.

Just so we're on the same page - to me introvert means DH needs some alone and quiet time to recharge. And extrovert to me means I need to be around people to get my batteries recharged.

Some vacations just overwhelm my husband with too much non-stop activity. And some would make me irritable and feeling confined.

We've found some good ways to meet both of our needs on cruises, which I'll post in a response. But I thought other people may have their own ideas too.

So anyone else with a "mixed marriage" of introvert and extrovert? What have you done to bridge the gap?
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Nina, Ed & of course, the Bears
yes they really travel with us, and yes, my husband does have the patience of a saint

Suitcasebears2 @ gmail.com







2005 Princess - 2 night trial cruise
2008 Feb: Crystal - Mexican Riviera
2008 Nov: HAL - E. Caribbean
2009 June: HAL - Alaska
2010 March: Regent - Western Caribbean
2010 Nov: HAL - Western Caribbean
2011 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2012 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2013 May: RCCL - supposedly Caribbean but DH ended up in hospital in St. Maarten. It's a long story.
2014 March: Princess - Mexican Riviera
2014 Nov: RCCL - Caribbean


#2
Nemo, TX
1,387 Posts
Joined Feb 2009
Luckily, my husband can still feel "alone" enough when it's just the two of us but I'm not yammering away in his hear. And we do like spending time being together. So two things we've done are:

1. We choose anytime dining and alternate between eating alone one night (for him) and eating with others on the other nights (for me).

2. One of our FAVORITE things is on HAL ships we rent a Lido deck cabana. These are right on the main pool deck (I'll post a picture when my computer gets back on our LAN and I can find one), and have a big round double lounge, a little table and two chairs.

DH can sit in the back with his Tablet or Kindle and read quietly, and I can sit near the front, and watch people. People are always curious about the cabanas so they often stop and ask questions. So I get to people watch and chit chat, he gets to read quietly.

I could just leave him in the cabin (or the cabana) and go do things alone, but that's the weird thing - we want to be TOGETHER but still have enough solitude and people-tude for us each.
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Nina, Ed & of course, the Bears
yes they really travel with us, and yes, my husband does have the patience of a saint

Suitcasebears2 @ gmail.com







2005 Princess - 2 night trial cruise
2008 Feb: Crystal - Mexican Riviera
2008 Nov: HAL - E. Caribbean
2009 June: HAL - Alaska
2010 March: Regent - Western Caribbean
2010 Nov: HAL - Western Caribbean
2011 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2012 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2013 May: RCCL - supposedly Caribbean but DH ended up in hospital in St. Maarten. It's a long story.
2014 March: Princess - Mexican Riviera
2014 Nov: RCCL - Caribbean


#3
NY, NJ, MD, and now Osprey, FL
1,768 Posts
Joined Aug 2005
DH loves to just sit and watch the water go by. I love to sit and read my kindle. I'm more extroverted and prefer tables with large groups of people. DH would prefer tables for two but will agree to a 6-8 person table. Once he gets to know his tablemates, he is more comfortable and will open up a little.

We both like the casino sot hat is something we do together (sometimes at the same table, sometimes not).

There are times when I will stay at the pool or go to the gym and he will either take a nap some place quiet (our balcony) or watch the water go by!!! There is plenty of opportunity for him to sit and watch the water go by so he is happy!
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Debbi
Upcoming Cruises: Carnival Paradise 5-22-2017; Caribbean Princess 10/31/2017





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#4
NY, NJ, MD, and now Osprey, FL
1,768 Posts
Joined Aug 2005
accidental double post. deleted
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Debbi
Upcoming Cruises: Carnival Paradise 5-22-2017; Caribbean Princess 10/31/2017





PAST: Regal Princess 12/13/2015; Brilliance of the Seas 1/31/2015; Celebrity Silhouette 1/19/14; Carnival Pride 1/20/13; Carnival Pride 1/29/12; Celebrity Summit 12/12/09; Crown Princess 11/9/08 Mariner of the Seas 10/14/07; Explorer of the Seas 11/06; Celebrity Constellation 11/05


#5
Nemo, TX
1,387 Posts
Joined Feb 2009
Originally posted by attilamom1217
There is plenty of opportunity for him to sit and watch the water go by so he is happy!
I have a close friend who is VERY Introverted and was afraid a cruise would just make her miserable. We persuaded her to come with us one year - and she ADORED it. She spent a lot of time on her balcony watching the water go by. She was such a happy camper.

I would have gone insane. I'd rather watch the people go by.

Something for everyone
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Nina, Ed & of course, the Bears
yes they really travel with us, and yes, my husband does have the patience of a saint

Suitcasebears2 @ gmail.com







2005 Princess - 2 night trial cruise
2008 Feb: Crystal - Mexican Riviera
2008 Nov: HAL - E. Caribbean
2009 June: HAL - Alaska
2010 March: Regent - Western Caribbean
2010 Nov: HAL - Western Caribbean
2011 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2012 Nov: HAL - Caribbean
2013 May: RCCL - supposedly Caribbean but DH ended up in hospital in St. Maarten. It's a long story.
2014 March: Princess - Mexican Riviera
2014 Nov: RCCL - Caribbean


#6
N. Fort Myers, FL
1,085 Posts
Joined Aug 2003
A couple I met on Cruise Critic in our group last November were that way. He is a Pastor in an evagelical church and has to deal with people every day. A cruise to him is his way to recharge and escape. His wife is pretty much a stay at home homemaker and this is her chance to spread her wings and fly! He'll sit on their aft balcony and read a book and watch the wake of the ship while she will be with our group dancing on the Lido deck or going on a shore excursion shopping in the markets ( he MAY go on a few but not all)

This works for them. My advice is to agree ahead of time to when you'll connect. Maybe even put a small whiteboard on the door to your room for notes to each other. PLan for it and you'll both have a wonderful cruise!
Ken
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#7
Fredericksburg, va. USA
81,572 Posts
Joined May 2001
I like my alone time....but I do enjoy talking to others! I'm actually an extrovert who enjoys her own company much of the time!

Hubby likes to be DOING....I can read for days!

We've never had an issue with each other, as after 40 years, we have this down to a science! We do things together, but we give each other space for "loner" activities, too!
It works for us!
#8
near Philly
2,597 Posts
Joined Jul 2008
This Is so us! My dh loves to do trivia, bingo, etc. I like to sit and read, be on the balcony, go to the coffee place and be in a quiet place.

We compromise, I'll go to a trivia or 2 or other activity. Then he'll sit in the quiet with me. At night he'll go to the bar and hang out while I'm in the room. It works for us.
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#9
Central NY
622 Posts
Joined Feb 2010
Originally posted by SuitCaseBears
Hi Folks,


Just so we're on the same page - to me introvert means DH needs some alone and quiet time to recharge. And extrovert to me means I need to be around people to get my batteries recharged.
Well, those are pretty much the definitions! Have you read "The Introvert Advantage"? There is a chapter on relationships, and a chapter written for the extrovert to help understand the introvert. I loaned my copy out, so I can't find the specifics, but I found the book very helpful. A cruise does sound like a good vacation for both. Other than that, no specific advice.
#10
San Mateo, California
5,273 Posts
Joined Feb 2007
Your post reminds me of why many folks don't understand when some couples prefer a table for 2. We are like that, I guess we are both intraverts, we generally don't cruise to socialize. That does not mean we don't socialize at all but we don't cruise to make friends.

We usually book a mini suite cabin because when we are not attending shows or other desired activities on the ship and in port, we enjoy our cabin and balancy a lot.

We enjoy room service for breakfast as well.

We enjoy simply being on the sea and the peace and quiet of not being around a lot of people.

Cruise ships are great they allow those who want to be alone, to do so and those who wish to mix and enjoy lots of others to do so as well very easily.
#11
Santee, CA
191 Posts
Joined Jul 2010
My DH has a severe spinal cord injury, and every day can be a challenge. One nice thing about a cruise is that if he is having a bad day, there is plenty of things for me to do. I love to be around other people. We can order room service & he can watch tv if he's not feeling well or hang out on balcony. On good days, he can join me at shows or trivia, or other activities. It's the best of both worlds for the 2 of us. We have our time together, and our alone time!
#12
West Covina CA USA
902 Posts
Joined Aug 2003
So wife and I with a difference. I am such a jaded cruiser, don't like the trivia or other games, seen all the "demonstrations", don't care for any of the shows (too much like watching High School performances) but if I find people I like I am quite the extrovert. (I have 128 days cruising) DW has 30 so she has not seen all there is to offer.

How do we handle it? WE USE ROLL CALLS!!! DW gets to meet other people and they sort of substitute for me. She gets to attend the shows, play the games, watch the demonstrations etc,. .... and I get to sit at a bar and read or watch a ball game.

We both get what we want. Our last cruises we met 3 solo travelers who were extremely friendly and out personalities meshed very well. DW was the 4th solo with them for all the things she enjoyed, then we met up for dinner and I could get involved.
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#13
3,510 Posts
Joined Apr 2008
Originally posted by SuitCaseBears
Luckily, my husband can still feel "alone" enough when it's just the two of us but I'm not yammering away in his hear. And we do like spending time being together. So two things we've done are:

1. We choose anytime dining and alternate between eating alone one night (for him) and eating with others on the other nights (for me).

2. One of our FAVORITE things is on HAL ships we rent a Lido deck cabana. These are right on the main pool deck (I'll post a picture when my computer gets back on our LAN and I can find one), and have a big round double lounge, a little table and two chairs.

DH can sit in the back with his Tablet or Kindle and read quietly, and I can sit near the front, and watch people. People are always curious about the cabanas so they often stop and ask questions. So I get to people watch and chit chat, he gets to read quietly.

I could just leave him in the cabin (or the cabana) and go do things alone, but that's the weird thing - we want to be TOGETHER but still have enough solitude and people-tude for us each.
Describes DH and I perfectly (I'm going to have to remember people-tude) - he's on the shy side and I'm the extrovert. We do stuff together mostly - sometimes just us and sometimes in a group (excursions, etc.). But he likes his afternoon nap so I'll go hang out on the promenade deck and quite often find someone to talk to. We usually try for a table for 2 at meals but don't mind sitting with other folks if things are crowded.
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#14
Here I am
3,320 Posts
Joined Dec 2009
Originally posted by SuitCaseBears
Hi Folks,

One of the things I adore about cruising is that my husband (the introvert) and I (the extrovert) can both find happiness, still share a tiny room for quite a few days, and still spend time together.
This would be me and my husband We just find different things to do during the day, and "meet" at the meals. Sometimes a movie together (on the ship) or a lecture.