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off the Fantasy this morning, general review


saltwaterfixes
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I'm terrible at starting reviews and never finishing them. I will do the best I can and put up whatever pics I have (if I can figure that mess out again) and I'm sorry if it doesn't get completed. I will answer any questions if I can.

 

Pre-stay: We stayed at the Home2Suites on N. Montague in North Charleston. We got to do a little shopping at the outlets, snagged some good deals pre cruise (the mall was crowded!). The hotel was perfect; there were 5 of us, and no other hotels wanted to jam us all in a room (I wonder why ;) )but the room had 2 queen beds and a pull out sofa. Very updated, very Ikea-y and definately all we could hope for. We had dinner at Page's Okra. It was really just ok. For all the hype, it was a fun place. The bartender and waitress were super friendly, the band on the patio, well....meh.....but the food was overpriced and just not great. There wasn't anything wrong with it, it just didn't wow us. Nevertheless, we gorged on way too many carbs, took one adult kid back to the hotel and went to the haunted ghost tour on the USS Yorktown. I think this was everyone's favorite "shore excursion." It was $100 for 4 of us, cash only, and it was raining, so it wasn't perfect. There was also a troop of boyscouts camping on the ship. In spite of all that, the tour guide was sooo knowledgeable and you could tell he really cared about "his" ship. It wasn't very spooky, but he was a wealth of information and he was a patriot. This meant a lot to us as our daughter has just enlisted in the Air Force and DH is a Marine. The guide stopped the tour several times to remind us that "Freedom isn't free, it is bought and paid for by our nation's hero's whose steps you are walking in. Don't take it for granted and have respect." What a testimony that stranger who didn't know we were on the cruise to celebrate daughter's enlistment, thought so much of our family's sacrifices. It was incredibly humbling.

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We were up early (of course). The lobby breakfast was better than adequate, especially since we knew we were about to engorge ourselves for 5 days. We called a cab to the port ($35 for all 5 of us and a mound of more luggage than any of us really needed). We got to the port at about 11 a.m. The gate guy said the last cruise had some hang ups with customs and we would be boarding late. Still, he checked everyone's documents and sent us to the dreaded Charleston tent to wait for the dreaded Charleston shuttles. They put us on the shuttle immediately, but we had to wait for it to fill. We probably waited about a half hour from the time he put us out of the cab until we were walking into the terminal. When we got in, there was literally no line, maybe 2 groups in front of us. The check-in lady had us done in another 10 minutes or less, everything and we were on our way to embarkation pictures. We were sitting down to eat on the Lido well before noon. Food was yummy, no complaints, and by the time we were ready to see if our rooms were ready (I guess around 1 p.m.), they were. No luggage, but we were able to drop our stuff and start our vacation.

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We had our rooms set up so that DD and I were in u100 and DH and 2 adult sons were in u96. Of course this was so we could split the Cheers package. Don't hate. We also smuggles aboard a bottle of vodka, a bottle of vanilla flavored rum, a bottle of Captain Morgan's, a bottle of whiskey and carried on 2 of the 3 bottles of wine they allowed. We consider ourselves moderate to heavy drinkers at home. (Duh, right?) Smuggled booze was in a variety of rum runners and shampbooze bottles split among that mountain of luggage (including some we carried on to get us started as soon as we boareded). Every drop got aboard. As soon as I bought the program, I ordered a Fosters for DS and a diet coke for me to mix my carried on rum in. The bartender at the aft bar next to the pizza place gladly gave me both at the same time. Sometimes during the week it didn't go that smoothly, but whatever, we weren't going to go without liquor. In spite of the large amount of liquor in our stash and our Cheers program, bar service was painfully slow. It didn't matter which bar, which bartender or what we ordered or how much we tipped, we damn near died of thirst several times. The worst was the casino and the 21st century bar in front of it. In fact, I think dinner bar service was faster (and that's usually the slowest). The best was the bar in front of the Forum lounge. There was almost never much wait there, unless we were watching a show *in* the Forum lounge. Then it was horrible. The waiter's in the Forum lounge were awesome about bringing 2 beers at a time and ringing one up a few minutes later. They must have known it was just slow going in there. The next worse bar was the Universe theater. In fact, very often we ordered a drink from more than one waiter, knowing it was going to take awhile to get it. I know there were waiters and bartenders fully aware we were sharing. No one ever said a word. We weren't even sneaky about it. For whatever it's worth, we never used our whole 15 drinks, even on sea days. We usually got a bloody mary with brunch, a few drinks on the lido and then took a late day nap (around 4). When we got up, we'd have a drink before dinner, a drink with dinner, sometimes and after dinner drink, then drinks wherever we ended up. The pours were so generous and we had our stash. We just didn't ever use it. Throughout the day, I'd get a Fosters when we passed a bar and didn't need a drink. I would amass them in DS's room and when he was ready to go "out" for the night, he would trade them in for cold ones.

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I absolutely hated our rooms. We always sail with interiors because we aren't in there enough to justify the expense for anything else. We've been upgraded to an oceanview one time at no charge, and while we loved some things about it, we really can't spend the $$$ for anything but the cheapest room we can get. My biggest beef with these rooms was the layout. I will try to post pics that I took expressly for showing why these rooms sucked so bad. The beds were literally in the middle of the floor with the vanity beside the king. There was no other way to configure it, and it meant that I slept against the wall in what felt like a coffin and DH had no headboard above his head. Closet space was fine. Bathroom was fine. Basket in the bathroom had more goodies than we expected, including some bonine samples, which we needed as we danced around Bertha.

We've been joking that my pillow was trying to murder me. Every night, as soon as I laid on it, my throat would literally seem to close. And because I was in the "coffin," there was nowhere to keep a glass of water. (Sleeping in the non-headboard position wasn't an option, because I psychologically felt like was going to fall off the top of the bed, lol). So I'd hack and choke and cough til I fell asleep and then wake up with a feeling like I was coming down with something. It subsided throughout the day. Today (last day), it occured to me they might be foam pillows. I am allergic to latex. So. Maybe they really were trying to murder me. The sheets had stains on them, they were downright yucky, and I asked to have them changed every day and new yucky ones with different stains would be on the bed the next night. Our steward was Ivan. He was ok, maybe even a little creepy in overusing our names, but he just never went above. We asked for ice on the first day, we got it on the 3rd (after which he did keep it full). He gave us grief about putting the beds together (cause remember, we lied about who was sleeping where to scam the drink package). And at the end, I felt like he was one step away from putting his hand out for extra gratuity. I've never had a steward I was particularly endeared to, so I'm not sure if I have unreasonable expectations or if I just felt like Ivan did plenty, he just didn't go above.

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Food: The food on this cruise was waaaaaayyyyy better than our last Fantasy cruise. Everything just seemed "fresher," and to have more taste. Sometimes dining room service was better than others, but we felt like our waiter didn't have a lot of support from his assistants and he tried (mostly doing a really great job of succeeding at) to do it all himself. The best food we had this week, believe it or not, was the beef short ribs. This is absolutely not something I would normally eat at home and when I'm on a cruise, I like to get things I normally can't have at home (for example, no one in the family eats fish but me and I love anything Parmasean but hate cooking it, so I usually try to order those things when I'm not at home), but for some reason I tried those short ribs and fell madly in love. I also loved the spring rolls (again, something I usually wouldn't order, would save for the chinese takeout) but ended up getting them twice. Loved the mozzarella on ciabatta at the deli and loved the steak and eggs at brunch. Did not love any of the soups (all were bland) and the chicken wrap we got one night from room service was pretty delightful, even if the potato chips on the plate might have been from 232354 cruises ago...yucky and soggy). Did not love the bacon mac and cheese (also bland) and the beloved chocolate melting cake was better some nights than others. I guess I should have specified I like it runnier. Had to leave dinner on the last night for a show (will explain soon) and missed my Grand Marnier souffle, another favorite, but it was about priorities. Salad bar was yummy all the time. Getting a burger or chicken tenders at any time of day was just more trouble than it was worth. Didn't eat pizza this time but the kids tore it up so it couldn't have been too bad. Taste Bar was a nice addition, I guess, but I miss the sushi. Everyone at the table who had the lamb loved loved loved that too.

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Following this review. And yes please upload pics of your room bc my cabin is turned sideways like yours is. I'm staying in u77 in October and have asked it to be a king bed. And I've heard the doorway is in the middle of room instead of on the side like most.

 

 

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Entertainment. Um. Yeah. Not so much. I mean, it was a 5 day cruise on the oldest and smallest ship in the fleet. We didn't expect ropes courses and skating rinks, so we weren't really disappointed. But there really wasn't much. Same shows as our last cruise on her over 2 years ago, and I loathe trivia. I feel like there is always an obnoxious drunk group that feels the need to cheat for the ship on a stick. 22 year old DH competed in the hairy chest contest on a whim when one of the judges came and plucked him from the audience, so that was fun for us. It did rain on our first sea day, so a lot of stuff was moved (read jammed in an already crowded corner somewhere) inside and that took an element of fun from it too. We did love Dat Band. Every set we heard from their wide range was straight up phenomenal. I spent some time in one of those comfy chaises in front of the coffee shop with my book and the piano player was playing there. It set a great mood on a rainy day on a ship.

The slots were good to me. I was playing the penny machines with 45 cent bets. I never played more than $20 at a spell and at cash out, I had $300 on my account. Unfortunately, I didn't count how much I spent $10 or $20 at a time, so I have no idea whether I won lol. But, my cash out was nice on the last night. The casino never seemed busy. I only saw the craps table open twice and there was never much of a crowd at the roulette wheels. I never had to wait for a slot machine and often had my choice, including my first choices most days (my 2 big payouts, one for $165 and one for $95 were on the diamond one 2 seats from the window along the wall and whatever was the 5th machine from the window on the same side). yeah, it was smoky but not as bad as some other ships I've been on.

Pete was the cruise director. I never care about the CD anyway, but he wasn't particularly annoying like some of them can be. There was almost always a huge line at guest services. No idea why. Both comedians were crass and not particularly funny. DH pointed out that it is probably hard to find something universally funny to 2000 cruise passengers. Both were middle-aged black men and thankfully, they didn't make race a joke...that always makes me wildly uncomfortable, but they did use a lot of sex as fodder and that makes me uncomfortable when I'm with my adult kids, lol, but oh well.

We bought one picture. One. from embarkation. We didn't even let them take others knowing it would be too tempting. The only kid eligible for a "club" was DH who is 18 but still in high school. She wasn't interested, so she never even went in.

We watched the talent show, whatever they call it. It was also just ok. Just five singing acts. Why, though, every single cruise, every single ship I'm on, does some couple with a guitar, dressed in matching outfits, have to sing their one stupid church hymn/song? Even as a Christian, I'm just not at sea to be preached at. It's offensive to some degree and just annoying at another. I don't know why they let them do it. Anyway, I digress. One teenage boy totally belted "All of Me," or "All of You," whichever it's called. He was remarkable. I would have listened to him all night.

We went to tea time both days. I love that little-known gem in the middle of my sea days.

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First Sea Day: We slept in (and by that, I mean til like 9:30 a.m. lol). Went to sea day brunch in the main dining room. It was really awesome. We had our past cruise free drinks and had a little hiccup with that....they had a "bar" set up outside the dining room with all the garnishes and hot sauces and seasonings. Since we weren't sure which we wanted, it said on the menu that you could walk up to that bar. Well, for some reason, that bartender wasn't having any walkups lol. He insisted that we sit in the piano bar and order our drink. There was a slight communication barrier and he and the piano bar guy argued with us for a few minutes so we went to go back into the dining room. The hostess asked what was the matter and walked us back out there and help us get our drinks custom made. I have no idea what that was about.

Like I said, it was rainy for most of the morning, so I got my book and a long island iced tea and sat in that chaise that seemed to swallow me for a couple hours til the sky cleared and we went to the Lido for some lunch and some beers. Around 4 we took our daily afternoon nap and got up and dressed for dinner at around 5:30. We had late seating, so we went to the Taste Bar and had a yummy tidbit from the blue iguana. It was some kind of tortilla-y thing and some soup. Perfectly fine, but I wouldn't choose a cruise just based on that. We played the slots for awhile, then we chose a spot in front of the Forum lounge where the big leather couches are and designated it as our "meeting spot" for pre-dinner for the rest of the cruise. Great place for people watching and we didn't have to crowd the stairs and bombard the dining room the second it opened. We did however have to bombard the dining room very soon after the initial stampede as we did not have friendly table-mates. We had a race to the window seats every night hahaha, which I have no idea why, since ya obviously can't see anything out at 8:30 p.m. Our dining room server was Melchor and we asked for 2 cheese plates before dinner every night. After the second night, they were just there when we arrived. Sweet. Dining room service was among the best we've ever had. When I boarded, I vowed not to let things bother me, but 2 things in the dining room made me break my promise to myself (neither Carnival's fault). The family assigned to dinner with us had *no* table manners. That is the understatement of the decade. Watching them literally shovel food in their faces with the remnants all over their face and then watching that food rattle around in there while they chewed with their mouths open was downright revolting. The routine continued throughout each dinner as they then wiped their filthy faces with the cloth napkins which they kept crumpled up in front of them with all the food on it throughout the meal. Barf. Sorta a buzz kill. The other thing that bothered me was the next table over that brought very ill behaved kids to dinner the first two nights. They were literally standing in the windows and playing handheld video games LOUDLY while their parents happily drank and chatted. Worse, the nights that the kids didn't come, the parents came realllllly late and it held up everyone's service. In the grand scheme of things, if that was my biggest problem, I probably did ok. My fussiest kid complained that none of his meals was hot. He was right that things weren't piping hot, but the only thing I tried all cruise that was so off temperature that it was inedible was a bowl of sweet potato soup my daughter ordered that was designed to be hot but was borderline frigid instead. Everything else was fine.

I did think it was a new bizarre thing I've never noticed on a ship before that a couple bar waiters came around with after dinner shots. (You keep the glass.) What's up with that?

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Pre-stay: We stayed at the Home2Suites on N. Montague in North Charleston.

 

Thanks for the review! We will be sailing on the Fantasy the 23rd and have reservations at this same hotel. I noticed where you stated that you had called a cab. Does this hotel not offer shuttle service to the port?

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First Port: Freeport. I know everyone says they hate this port but we always love going to Paradise Cove/Deadman's Reef. This time, though, the weather was sorta sketchy. It couldn't seem to decide whether it was going to rain or not and it was really windy. The driver (Roland) said it wasn't perfect snorkeling weather and that they would only charge us $20 pp to use the beach and facilities and if it got better and we wanted to snorkel, we could rent the equipment separately for the difference in price ($15pp more). He gave us a great tour on the way to the property and we tipped him generously (bear with me, there is a reason I spell that out). We were the only ones in the van. We got there and swam for a bit and when other people started snorkeling, we got some equipment and headed out. They were right, it wasn't perfect, it was realllllly shallow low tide waters and they were pretty rough in spite of being in the cove. Still, they've put in some artificial reef bars not too far from shore so we were able to see some. We definitely got a work out in the rough water even though it was shallow. There were a lot of sting rays in the ankle deep water, which was freaking the kids out. The "guides" said they were non stinging kinds. What the heck? We've googled and googled....there are no "non stinging" kinds, they just don't aggressively sting. If you step on them, then ouch. Ugh. Anyway, while we were trying to enjoy our day here, the workers essentially chased us around reminding us that if we were having a good time, they take tips. Well, we'd be having a lot better time if they would have quit asking for money! It was not at all crowded there and we had a pretty good time. The driver who took us back to the bus, Nathan, was not nearly as great as Roland. (Last year, a car swerved into our lane and Nathan U-turned the van in the middle of the road and chased the guy. He didn't remember but we didn't forget, lol). And Nathan was also going to make sure we didn't forget to tip him. In fact, he suggested amounts. (how nice. not). He told us that him and Roland shared tips but since none of us rode in the van that morning, we needed to tip him and he'd share with Roland. But we did ride in the van in the morning. And we did tip Roland. So if Nathan had been a little more demure, we would have tipped him too. But it pissed me off so I told him we weren't tipping him and why. He yelled at us until we were out of earshot. We won't go back to our favorite snorkeling spot because of him :( We were back on the ship by about 3 p.m. Even though we had eaten at the beach, we were famished and got some room service (yummy and pretty fast) and took naps, followed by our nightly meeting at the couch, dinner with the slobs and a long night with the penny slots. Went to bed pretty late, probably about 2. Way later than at home :)

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The hotel has shuttle service but it's not their shuttle, they contract it out. We got a military rate for the room, ($126 I think), then got in the same taxi as their guests who bought the package for $35 one way for all 5 of us. We had a little mess with coming-back transportation (will explain later in the review) so we contacted the guy ourselves. He had a U-haul behind him for the luggage. It was maybe "Nathaniel's Taxi's" or "Nathaniel's Transportation," something like that. He was professional and on time.

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I just read this review out loud and we were both dying laughing. First of all, the amount of booze brought on is staggering. Then to get the Cheers program, even splitting? Lol. I got to the part about Nathan making a U Turn in traffic last year and, hello, getting stung by sting rays- WTH??? This whole review is a big fat LOL. I can't even fathom that amount of booze for four people on a 5 day. :eek:

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Is this a real review?

 

With the copious amounts of drink actually on board, 'christians' getting offended by hymns, yelling driver guy, not knowing about Carnival pillows and whatnot.

 

Um.

 

Seriously!! Is it?

 

" We also smuggles aboard a bottle of vodka, a bottle of vanilla flavored rum, a bottle of Captain Morgan's, a bottle of whiskey and carried on 2 of the 3 bottles of wine they allowed. We consider ourselves moderate to heavy drinkers at home. (Duh, right?) Smuggled booze was in a variety of rum runners and shampbooze bottles split among that mountain of luggage (including some we carried on to get us started as soon as we boareded). Every drop got aboard."

 

That plus a split Cheers package? The only drinkers I know who rolled like that were my grandparents back in the 70's

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Okay, I'll work on getting a kid to help an old lady with posting pics later today. Anyway, on to Nassau. We've been a zillion times and couldn't really decide what we wanted to do. At the last minute we decided to see if there were any spaces on Carnival's Catamaran (you know, cause they have free rum punch and we needed to drink. Kidding, geez). Anyway, it was completely sold out so We slept in again and decided we'd figure it out when we got off board. When we finally made it down to the gang plank, it was pouring. We headed back upstairs for a bit, waited for it to subside then debarked. We were going to do a little shopping, maybe hit Senor Frogs (for booze) and then decide. After making our way through the gauntlet of "hey pretty lady, you want to see the city?" and offers to have our hair braided, we hit bay street. You know we bought illegal pocketbooks.....

Anyway, stopped in a little liquor store (what did you expect), bought a beer and a few bottles of water and decided to find the rum distillery. We walked uphill for what seemed like 2 dozen miles and the second we got there, dripping in sweat and about to die from the sheer exercise, the sky opened up and literally SHEETS of rain came down. Most of the tour was inside, so we wandered about for a little bit. There's not much to see, it's a self-guided tour, and when we made it to the gift shop, a lady brought about a tablespoon of pina colada in souffle cups to taste. I wanted to taste the rum, not the pina colada! Oh well. They have a little tavern but we were starting to worry about how we were going to get back to the ship in that weather, so we chatted for a few minutes at a table and ultimately asked them to call us a cab back. We were back onboard with just our new purses and some "free gemstones" from one of the street vendors by 1:30 or so, soaking wet. Total cost of "shore excursion," $14 cab ride and $7 in water and beer. Lol. Pitiful. Will avoid Nassau at all costs in the future!

When we got back to the ship, we had to wait in line to show our ID to reboard in the still pouring rain. Oh well, what could we do? Back on board, everyone took a quick shower and we went to get some lunch. Eventually we went to watch the pier runners. I think the ship sailed without some fellow cruisers (unfortunately the slobs made it back on board against our hopes) because there was an officer on the pier with a walkie talkie until the last minute. She finally handed an envelope to a guy on a golf cart. He went to the end of the pier, the horn blew and we were off again.

Same nightly routine. Nap, slots, taste bar, couch, dinner, drinking, bed.

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