OK, I'm fed up!

Hi All,

I have to admit that I have never posted on this forum, I have lurked quite a bit, so forgive me if this has been talked about.

I've been sailing exclusively on Princess for awhile so really only go on that board. I'm wondering if the rest of the cruise line boards (and people) are the same. I have had it with all the negative comments (and there are MANY) on the Princess board regarding "all the walkers and wheelchairs" and handicapped people in general. IT just seems like it has been happening more and more.

I just read a section of a thread about cruise snobs and this person commented about a "dubiousely handicapped person" and made comments about how their handicap seemed to change (later seen walking around NYC).

I really just want to screem, I personally have multiple sclerosis. My level of disability can change from hour to hour. I'm on the younger side (44), but have probably had this for over 20 years. It was not until a BRAIN BIOBSY 3 years ago that I found out what was really wrong with me. I know that looking at me, I do not look "sick", (especially since my hair has grown out and no one can see the scar on my head). But are you kidding me - even before I "knew" that I was sick, I always had compassion for the handicapped.

Now, I just recently took my first cruise with a walker and just like my disease at home, over the course of 28 days there were times I would need it and times I didn't. But the rudeness of ALOT of people was really overwhelming. You could SEE their distaste. There were times I did not even try to get off on my floor because people were so rude. I had one woman try to clear the elevator (she had hit the button for me) so I could get out from the back, I said it's ok and just rode the elevator up and back down.

I don't want to go too far off the deep end, I'm hoping this doesn't get removed, but if I can't complain on this board where can I? And I guess that's what really is making me mad. These people are making all these comments and never get removed? Where can I complain about all the rude people? So many comments are about walkers and wheelchairs blocking the hallways - REALLY? Are you kidding me - I'll tell you what is blocking the hallways - the service carts. I had the hardest time getting to my cabin with my walker when the carts were in the hallways and there were there a great amount of time. Not to mention how I fell getting into my cabin the first time as I didn't even realize the walker did not fit.

So just wondering is all this negativity is on all the cruise lines? This walker thing is new to me (I've been using a cane for much longer), I just keep trecking and "try" to not let people bother me. I'm trying to learn to not care what other people think when they see me walking ok, because I'm actually having a good day. Any suggestions? I'm cruising again in a week (on Princess) and just a little sick to my stomache from reading all this negativity.

Any good comments or retorts out there? I've just never been quick on the fly responding to negative people. What do I say to the person who judeges me and says "what happened - did you hurt yourself?" Which makes no sense to even begin with because we all know the ship doesn't stock bright red walkers with seats for everyone. But honestly I was asked that question way too many times on the last cruise.

Sincerely,

Tammy

Hi All,

 

I have to admit that I have never posted on this forum, I have lurked quite a bit, so forgive me if this has been talked about.

 

I've been sailing exclusively on Princess for awhile so really only go on that board. I'm wondering if the rest of the cruise line boards (and people) are the same. I have had it with all the negative comments (and there are MANY) on the Princess board regarding "all the walkers and wheelchairs" and handicapped people in general. IT just seems like it has been happening more and more.

 

I just read a section of a thread about cruise snobs and this person commented about a "dubiousely handicapped person" and made comments about how their handicap seemed to change (later seen walking around NYC).

 

I really just want to screem, I personally have multiple sclerosis. My level of disability can change from hour to hour. I'm on the younger side (44), but have probably had this for over 20 years. It was not until a BRAIN BIOBSY 3 years ago that I found out what was really wrong with me. I know that looking at me, I do not look "sick", (especially since my hair has grown out and no one can see the scar on my head). But are you kidding me - even before I "knew" that I was sick, I always had compassion for the handicapped.

 

Now, I just recently took my first cruise with a walker and just like my disease at home, over the course of 28 days there were times I would need it and times I didn't. But the rudeness of ALOT of people was really overwhelming. You could SEE their distaste. There were times I did not even try to get off on my floor because people were so rude. I had one woman try to clear the elevator (she had hit the button for me) so I could get out from the back, I said it's ok and just rode the elevator up and back down.

 

I don't want to go too far off the deep end, I'm hoping this doesn't get removed, but if I can't complain on this board where can I? And I guess that's what really is making me mad. These people are making all these comments and never get removed? Where can I complain about all the rude people? So many comments are about walkers and wheelchairs blocking the hallways - REALLY? Are you kidding me - I'll tell you what is blocking the hallways - the service carts. I had the hardest time getting to my cabin with my walker when the carts were in the hallways and there were there a great amount of time. Not to mention how I fell getting into my cabin the first time as I didn't even realize the walker did not fit.

 

So just wondering is all this negativity is on all the cruise lines? This walker thing is new to me (I've been using a cane for much longer), I just keep trecking and "try" to not let people bother me. I'm trying to learn to not care what other people think when they see me walking ok, because I'm actually having a good day. Any suggestions? I'm cruising again in a week (on Princess) and just a little sick to my stomache from reading all this negativity.

 

Any good comments or retorts out there? I've just never been quick on the fly responding to negative people. What do I say to the person who judeges me and says "what happened - did you hurt yourself?" Which makes no sense to even begin with because we all know the ship doesn't stock bright red walkers with seats for everyone. But honestly I was asked that question way too many times on the last cruise.

 

Sincerely,

Tammy

Why would what ever people say or you hear them say about being handicapped? Why let someone ruin your cruise on comments who cares what they say???? I am also disabled and am one of thoes who look young but use a cane or store carts. I need knee surgery but I still keep going and going and going lol just say oh well and keep on doing whatever you need to do.

Hi Tammy,

You may not remember but we were on the European Explorer cruise together that went from Rome to London (but you and your DH got off in Le Harve). I've struggled with post-polio for a long time and am getting better at ignoring the ignorant although I am not immune. Since I started using a scooter my DH goes ahead of me in crowds. He is able to "part the waters" which makes it easier for me. I find it strange how people don't see me when I am seated. That has been very hard to get used to as having been so tall all my life I was always noticed for that. Just after Christmas I has surgery for a cancer in my mouth and am almost dreading going on our April cruise. I had part of my jaw removed and on occasion I will drool. Isn't that a pretty picture? I can only imagine what the haters will say. I will NOT live my life by the rules made by the ignorant. I encourage you to do the same. I'm sorry you are not 100% all of the time and hope your good days are more prevalent than the poor ones.

I have am post polio and am now a full time wheelchair user. The longer you are disabled the thicker your skin. As for elevators we get on going whatever direction opens with room and ride either up or down. I also have my husband to help make room.

HI Tammy!

I have primary progressive MS and found out on my first cruise (Inspiration) that if the ship is rocking then I am in my chair. My messed up lesion filled head, doesnt compensate for the movement of the ship. Spent the entire cruise in the chair..BUT I left it behind grabbed the hubbies arm and marched into Mexico to swin with the stingray (everybody loves rays)..people seen me walking and gave me that *look* whatever..

what they didnt see was that afternoon/night I climbed into bed and about died. Too tired/weak/shaky to even go to dinner. Slept the rest of the afternoon and the night away as my body recovered from the walk and the sting ray swim ..hell ya I paid for it! But I would and have done it again!! (last year on the paradise did the swim at cayman islands) and yes..again i went back to our room and slept..that is MY reality..

and what people see..i figure whatever I am NEVER going to see you again..so i dont care..thick skin..

Now that being said....i am learning (like we all do with chronic illness) i start taking sleep aids about three days before the cruise, that way I am not already tired and wore out from lack of sleep (due to excitement).

I KNOW I am going to walk if I can, on shore..so we now book the one thing we REALLY want to do (did i mention stingrays????? LOL yes I have a fascination with them!) and the next day..we book nothing..then if i am tired..exhausted, then its ok, we can leave the ship in my chair and slowly enjoy the sights.

and sleep..i take sleep aids while on the ship, again excitement, strange bed ect..

but as for any looks i get..too f***ing bad. They don t live in my (yours, our) shoes..so ignore them and do whatever you can to make YOUR cruise good..

I also get looks when I am using a wheelchair or scooter. I am overweight, but I also have had both knees replaced, heart surgery, and a bad back at times, where I can barely stand for a minute. I know I get stares, but I try not to let them get to me. The other person is making a false judgement on most of us with hidden disabilities. You never know when someone needs a helper. Some people are very judge mental. Hard to follow the rules when someone doubts the disability. A lot of us have good and bad days. My one cruise thus far was nice. Susan

Thanks for the support! Katisdale - of course I remember you, how could I not - didn't we share the private tour in Livorno together? I may be mistaken (my memory is not all that great), but I do remember us doing "some" things together and can attest to what I was saying - that I had a kind attitude towards handicapped people (even before I actually was). I know that so much of what is making me angry is just society in general, but for crying out loud - I just don't understand all these posts I am reading - it seems like it's socially acceptable (on the Princess Board anyway) to put down "the handicapped".

Firerunner, you've summed up EXACTLY what I go through myself. I've been fighting everything you've been talking about on all my cruises (progressively worse). I was struggling only using a cane, but found that I was always the one standing by for everyone else and I have fallen too many times (actually had one rude woman accuse me of being drunk after she knocked me down - and I don't drink). You're right, I get angry that people don't see me holed up in my cabin trying to "recover" from overdoing it.

I will keep on cruising and doing as much as I can handle. Not ready for a wheelchair yet,,,, But yes, it's tough getting used to being invisible when sitting in my walker - then feeling like the "rude person" for asking someone to remove their behind from my face. OK - what is the "proper" way to ask someone to remove their behind from my face in the elevator - LOL?

But really just wondering for those of you who have been handicapped longer - is it just me - or are the attitudes getting worse on the "regular" boards and on the ships?

Happy Sailing Everybody!

Tammy

P.S. Katisdale - very nice to hear from you and to know that you and DH are still cruising.

Tammy

Yes, Tammy we did share a private tour to Florence from Livorno. I really did enjoy that cruise. We are going to keep cruising as long as we are able. I was starting to stay home more but then bought a travelscoot scooter and it has been wonderful. I still get tired (you know about that) but the scooter makes it so much easier for me. It was good to hear from you.

I've been disabled all my life, except for the first two years, and then contracted polio. Post polio has taken its toll on me, and now I use a scooter. But before I needed the scooter, and used canes, I encountered all kinds of nasty people, mostly when I would park in a designated disabled space. I would have people pound on my car windows screaming that I have no right to park there (I look a lot younger than I am). I actually had one woman follow me throughout the grocery store to see if I limped full time. It's just the crap that we disabled have to put up with.

I've not really encountered too many hassles on cruises, but when I do, it's generally people being jerks in elevators and nasties on tours. Actually, I've stopped taking ship tours because of comments some have made that I would ruin the tour because of being slow----yeah, and those who complain are usually the ones who get back to the bus 20 minutes after the guide told everyone to be back.

Tammy, with any luck you will be on the Emerald 10 day cruise Jan 26. You can just follow behind me as I run over rude people on my scooter :p

I tend to be kinda self confident and would have no problem telling people that I would HAPPILY trade places with them if they feel my "handicaps" allow me extra time or privileges. Being on a scooter allows me to participate with my husband and wonderful friends who would rather have me with them than not. My response to a negative person would be " good thing there are so many of us ( scooters, canes, walkers, wheelchairs, old, etc ) on board or you "perfect" people would be paying higher prices because the ships couldn't afford to sail with just the 2 of you "

Perhaps because I was raised with respect and manners towards those not as fortunate, I am not silently willing to let anyone treat me different.

Have a wonderful time on your cruise.

katiesdale....so sorry to hear you will have surgery and may have to worry about drooling. scarves are so "in" right now....get some lovely soft pretty ones and use them as a screen just in case. easy to launder and quick to dry. NO ONE will notice....i can walk short distances but a recent heart electrical problem is causing problems there,too. i use a scooter assertively on a ship. i could care less what these judgemental strangers think. some peopleare so kind and helpful. i got beached on barbados...waves too rough to stand up on my ruined knees. my husband was helped by 2 lovely englighmen who got me safely on my feet. imagine their dismay when i turned around and walked right back in!! i can swim like a fish.......i'll worry about getting out later!:D

Good Morning All,

First a very special Hello to Katisdale !

I am so sorry about your recent cancer surgery .

I bet while you were recovering you continued to encourage all of us on This site :-)

Thank You soooo very much for encouraging me to get the Travel Scoot. It was the very best thing I could have done for myself and my husband !

Now on the subject of being treated rudely I did experience a little of that mostly while trying to get on elevators on the ship !

We were on the Ruby Princess for New Years and there was a pretty large population of older 60 plus folks aboard. From my observations the older folks who were able bodied seemed smug,rude and abrupt with anyone who was NOT able bodied ......Shame on them because God Forbid they are just a stroke away or a fall from being in the same position.

They were not willing to hold a door,not willing to make room on an elevator ! The younger families were very kind, I even had one mom tell her kids to get off and use the stairs so I could get on ......I thanked them all profusly and it touched me so BTW ~ they were an Italian family.

My issues are walking long distances like from the ship to the end of the pier. I swear any ship or plane we are on are always at the furthest most point from where we are. On the ship I am OK ,so the passengers might see me walking on the ship and riding my Travel Scoot buzzing down the pier.

I'm sure that many would say Oh she is just lazy and overweight but I really try not to use my Scoot just so I can get excercise ! I have a new hip and need 2 new knees and 2 Rotator cuffs.

I will NOT let these rude people ruin my vacation ~ We paid for our cruise tickets just like they did and their issues will not become mine !

I have always been kind to handicapped people and help where ever I can ~ I worked for almost 30yrs in a elementary school where we taught students to be tolerant and that everyone has value. Sadly the Children understand and practice being good citizens. However, after encountering so many rude older people, perhaps we should send their Grandparents back to school to learn the same lessons !

I suffer from lumbar stenosis. To look at me you would probably say she looks able. But I have a handicap placard for my car and I get those terrible looks from people too. Sometimes I see them look to see what my problem is. You see, I can walk for about 2 minutes before I need to sit down because of the severe back pain with leg and foot numbness. That is when I start walking with a limp and I have experienced people sighing and moaning because I was in their way. So my walking is very limited now.

I have always been tolerant of handicapped individuals because I use to think that maybe one day it could be me.

Even on public transportation, I have seen people get so angry when they see a person in a wheelchair who needs to be lifted up onto the bus. It really only takes less than a minute to do it, but the patience of people today is lacking.

Hope those same individuals don't have to walk in my shoes.

With all the negativity, I'll post something positive.

I had surgery to remove a benign tumor from my spine which was supposed to be fairly simple. I woke up with no use of my left leg, spent 27 days in the hospital and rehab, then had 4 spontaneous compression fractures of vertebrae so back to the hospital. I am still dealing with issues 20 months later, I wear a back brace and walk with a cane.

I was at a big box store looking for a scooter since I cannot walk far or for any length of time. It was a very hot day but a lady walked all over the large parking lot looking for one for me.

There ARE some good and thoughtful souls out there.:)

With all the negativity, I'll post something positive.

 

I had surgery to remove a benign tumor from my spine which was supposed to be fairly simple. I woke up with no use of my left leg, spent 27 days in the hospital and rehab, then had 4 spontaneous compression fractures of vertebrae so back to the hospital. I am still dealing with issues 20 months later, I wear a back brace and walk with a cane.

 

I was at a big box store looking for a scooter since I cannot walk far or for any length of time. It was a very hot day but a lady walked all over the large parking lot looking for one for me.

 

There ARE some good and thoughtful souls out there.:)

Now that was sweet :)

I don't do much walking anymore. Basically I go to work, have a desk job which does require me to go to different locations in the building. I have learned to have strategic places where I can rest in between...right now I only need about a 5 minute sit down to rest. My husband takes me to work and picks me up. Right now, I am not mentally ready for a scooter, but it looks like that might happen sooner than later :(

My DH has had some pretty obnoxious stuff said to him (especially since he started using oxygen). Some days he can use the rollator - others....well, the scooter is better on those.

We've encountered people who have said everything from the disabled shouldn't be allowed to cruise at all to...well...some questioning why I am with my DH (yes, there is an age difference, but, one has nothing to do with the other).

We work as a team to just ignore (or, in some cases now from me, back-talk :eek:) since we are not going to be hermits as long as he's able to travel.

I'm glad we have this area of the board for those who have special needs to gather together without fear of what others will say. It's great to share information on how to get around best, how to get medical equipment around, etc.

While I'm on here mostly for DH, I have my own issues that may impact me sooner rather than later (though, mine are all "hidden" so I can just imagine what will be said by others then).

We cruise and enjoy every second of the cruise and each other's company. If other people don't want to "see" him - there are lots of other places for them to go.

My DH had polio in 1943 at the age of 9mo. It has been an amazing life, but like others of you he is now firmly held prisoner of Post Polio Syndrome. A very insidious aftereffect.

We cruise, we travel (van only) and like others of you, have lots of rude negative people invade our space. We ignore, we explain if asked and we just carry on.

I guess our biggest issue is those people who don't see him and just step infront of him then STOP!!! Power chairs can not stop on a dime, so lots of heals and legs receive painful bumps. I also walk infront of him, but many time someone tries to get around him only to suddnly see me and, as before, STOP. Really nothing we can do about it, we just move on.

So, It's going to happen, there's going to be rudeness, there will be clueless individuals who NEVER get it. Just carry on and enjoy life as you live it with what ever challenges you face.

I have found a heartfelt please and thank you with a smile works miracles!

Sherry

I agree with you Shebbiel and I always say excuse me with a smile and a very nice tone :-)

As I am sure everyone on this board does ~

Sadly there are just far to many people who have no patience with those of us who are not 100 % able bodied.

Us Handicapped folks are very polite, kind, and patient people and very helpful whereever we can be. I guess that is why it is so hard for us to accept anything different from those who are able bodied :-)

This board is a great place to vent sometimes. We all smile and treat others as we would like to be treated but here we can speak of things we might not ever say to others because we all understand and make no judgements :-)

This is a great article written by a woman with Lupus. We have shared this information and website with friends who, like me, had Polio as a child. Now, many are dealing with Post Polio Syndrome. All I can say it to surround yourself with friends, and try and ignore those who don't know (yet) what it is to live with any illness or disability. And, be sure and have a pillow to punch or a place to vent when necessary. We all have those down days when we'd rather not have to answer those stupid questions. I still like to cruise, since I can stay in the same place while I travel to different ports. A group of Post Polio friends are on a cruise right now. The time I went there were 8 of us at the table, and 5 of us had scooters!

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Thanks so much for posting ;-)

I have found a heartfelt please and thank you with a smile works miracles!

 

Sherry

I agree. Guess I have been fortunate because I have not had all the issues the rest of you have had. Maybe they just go over my head.

This is a great article written by a woman with Lupus. We have shared this information and website with friends who, like me, had Polio as a child. Now, many are dealing with Post Polio Syndrome. All I can say it to surround yourself with friends, and try and ignore those who don't know (yet) what it is to live with any illness or disability. And, be sure and have a pillow to punch or a place to vent when necessary. We all have those down days when we'd rather not have to answer those stupid questions. I still like to cruise, since I can stay in the same place while I travel to different ports. A group of Post Polio friends are on a cruise right now. The time I went there were 8 of us at the table, and 5 of us had scooters!

 

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

This essay is FANTASTIC! Thank you for sharing.

Marlee

My husband and I are going on our first cruise next month and it is our first holiday since my husband's stroke over 5 years ago. He is a full time wheelchair user as he is paralysed on his right and also has speech problems.

Since reading posts from the users in this forum I am a bit worried about about the rection from others who have no understanding about people with disabilities and hope they never experience those problems.

Our daughter is joining us to help me with her dad and to celebrate her remission from tonsil cancer. We are on a table of four and don't know if we will have a single person with us, I hope not as hubby sometimes has trouble with certain textures and has a coughing fit at times, we will just have to watch what he eats and hope to be near the entrance so we can slipout if it gets too bad.

I have always been polite and helpful all my life, but we are not all made the same. People who don't have patience with people with disabilities will maybe one day experience what they dish out, not that I would wish it upon them