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Childs anxiety about cruise!


CharlaneOT
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Hello all,

Although this is not my first cruise, it is my stepdaughter's first, and she is having a panic attack about it, refusing to go. We've already booked and paid it in full. We've spoken to her mother and her mother is encouraging her to go, but shes coming up with all these irrational fears and ideas and despite me trying to dispelled them, she's more adamant know that she doesn't want to go.

 

any help or pointers??

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Hello all,

 

Although this is not my first cruise, it is my stepdaughter's first, and she is having a panic attack about it, refusing to go. We've already booked and paid it in full. We've spoken to her mother and her mother is encouraging her to go, but shes coming up with all these irrational fears and ideas and despite me trying to dispelled them, she's more adamant know that she doesn't want to go.

 

 

 

any help or pointers??

 

 

 

How old is she?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

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Does she have friends who have gone on cruises? If she does maybe having her talk to one or more of them would help.

 

Also find a video on YouTube to show her about kids clubs and other activities as well as one that gives a tour of the ship you are going on.

 

Keith

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My daughter is 15 and gets extreme anxiety about doing anything and when we booked a cruise she didn't want to go at first. I sat with her for hours (over the course of weeks) and watched youtube videos of our ship and the ports we were stopping at. She started to see how cool it was and her anxiety slowly started to subside.

 

Of course, like others have posted, at that age not wanting to do something can be for a number of reasons, actually scared to go, mad at you or her parent(s), going without a friend, etc... It's not for everybody but it may not hurt to have her talk to a counselor who specializes in child anxiety...just a suggestion, again not for everybody.

 

Hope she decides to go as I'm sure she will have a blast and then realize she was all worked up about nothing :-)

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:o

 

All I can do is say "Good Luck with that one". I got nothing for you.

12 yo girl :eek:

emotional:eek:

I think back on how my dad would have handled this :eek:

What would Cliff Huxtable do?:confused: (I just showed my age)

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Sometimes it helps if you have her write down her fears in a list and then you can go through the list and figure out each one. It works best with my kid if I don't just prove to him that all the fears were wrong or baseless but pick a couple and tell him that those are legit (even if it is not) and we work together to come up with a way to reduce the risk. We figured out about 10 ways to our lifeboat before we disembarked the first day. The intent was to to walk them all before the safety drill. After walking 3 of them I told my kid I was too out of shape and to go walk each one and I would time him. From the bar with a fru-fru drink in hand!

Also, bringing a friend might help and might be a lot cheaper than you think.

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I guess it depends on the nature of the fears.

 

For example if she's afraid the boat will be rocky you could show her this:

 

[YOUTUBE]c82ToiVTvOY[/YOUTUBE]

 

If she's concerned there won't be kids her age there or things for her to do here's my 10-year-old giving a quick tour of part of the kid's camp...

 

[YOUTUBE]of5fWuBzh6E[/YOUTUBE]

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:o

All I can do is say "Good Luck with that one". I got nothing for you.

12 yo girl :eek:

emotional:eek:

I think back on how my dad would have handled this :eek:

What would Cliff Huxtable do?:confused: (I just showed my age)

Old school parents would tell us to get over it and to get our butts on the ship. ;)

 

"I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!" - Bill Cosby

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Hello all,

Although this is not my first cruise, it is my stepdaughter's first, and she is having a panic attack about it, refusing to go. We've already booked and paid it in full. We've spoken to her mother and her mother is encouraging her to go, but shes coming up with all these irrational fears and ideas and despite me trying to dispelled them, she's more adamant know that she doesn't want to go.

 

any help or pointers??

 

IMHO it doesn't matter much if she's afraid or has other reasons for not wanting to cruise. When I was 12 I'd be angry the whole cruise. "We paid LOTS for this cruise!" "I SAID I didn't WANT to be on this *** ship!" *Cabin door being tested for metal fatigue*

 

Let her stay elsewhere, she'll be infected by the cruise bug only just a few years later.:D

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Hello all,

Although this is not my first cruise, it is my stepdaughter's first, and she is having a panic attack about it, refusing to go. We've already booked and paid it in full. We've spoken to her mother and her mother is encouraging her to go, but shes coming up with all these irrational fears and ideas and despite me trying to dispelled them, she's more adamant know that she doesn't want to go.

 

any help or pointers??

You may be surprised to hear that much anxiety at this age is due to parents putting adult decisions on their heads. Take the decision making for the family out of her hands.

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Hello all,

Although this is not my first cruise, it is my stepdaughter's first, and she is having a panic attack about it, refusing to go. We've already booked and paid it in full. We've spoken to her mother and her mother is encouraging her to go, but shes coming up with all these irrational fears and ideas and despite me trying to dispelled them, she's more adamant know that she doesn't want to go.

 

any help or pointers??

 

If you cannot convince her through some of the ideas proffered and she remains adamant then I think it would be bad to override her wishes. I was about as old school a parent as they come, but I think 12 is old enough to say no to something and have it respected - so long as the decision does not endanger her. Not making them do something they don't want to do is much different than not letting them do something they want to do.

 

I wonder if she was consulted before the trip was booked and paid for?

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Old school parents would tell us to get over it and to get our butts on the ship. ;)

 

"I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!" - Bill Cosby

 

My parents would have said exactly the same thing .... Get on that ship and get over yourself. They were very no nonsense type of parents.

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If you cannot convince her through some of the ideas proffered and she remains adamant then I think it would be bad to override her wishes. I was about as old school a parent as they come, but I think 12 is old enough to say no to something and have it respected - so long as the decision does not endanger her. Not making them do something they don't want to do is much different than not letting them do something they want to do.

 

I wonder if she was consulted before the trip was booked and paid for?

 

Why would you ever consult a child before planning a fabulous family vacation that costs 1,000s of dollars? I don't think Baby's dad asked her about that family vacation or before being put into the corner. :')

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I wonder if she was consulted before the trip was booked and paid for?

 

 

a twelve year old does not need to be consulted. until they start paying for their own vacations they don't get to have input.

 

that being said, I agree with the earlier post about making her go will probably ruin the entire cruise for everyone. no one wants to be around a surly pre teen who sucks the joy out of a 50 foot radius around them.

 

while its more likely she has a vision in her head of spending time at the mall, at her girlfriend's house doing sleepovers or hanging out with her latest crush, if offering alternatives on board don't get her to at least consider that it might not be the worst thing ever to be subjected to, then for everyone ELSE'S sanity, leave her behind, but at the most boring babysitter's house you can think of.

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When my kids were teens...13,16,19 I took them on a cruise....it was Easter week, to give them a taste of the outside world. Before hand, I went over how to act on a plane, answer questions by authorities, and how to behave in the dining room for dinner. The "boys" wore white shirts and ties at dinner and my daughter wore nice dresses. When the waiter asked them their dinner order, they all ordered off the menu, politely and correctly. We did the basic cruise, Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Cozumel and Key West. Different islands for a different taste of how people lived. Fast forward 27 years. I must say, I am very proud of my "kids" they learned a lot from their cruises, and still continue to cruise.

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What about trying some reverse psychology? Everyone trying to talk her into going is giving her a lot of attention and power. So just say "Okay, stay home" and don't mention her coming again. But continue making your plans, going shopping for cruise items, watching you-tube videos while ignoring her. If her attitude is actually a power play it might work. Or if she is truly afraid, she might be relieved the pressure is off.

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First and foremost, is it actually a true fear? or just a teenage "rebellion". If it is in fact a true fear, a professional may have to step in and evaluate her. If its a "rebellion" well then....parental control prevails...

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Old school parents would tell us to get over it and to get our butts on the ship. ;)

 

"I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!" - Bill Cosby

This.

 

I am old now, but I have not, nor, ever will let a 12 year old dictate what they will or will not do. That includes grandchildren now.

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