Paradise Review - Jan 11 to Cozumel (Short Version)

I've been writing a full review for a couple of hours now off the top of my head. I'm going to finish it this weekend and post the full monty (after verifying chronological orders via the Fun Times we took home and a few pictures). But for now, I give you the Short Form version:

• Faster To The Fun - Maybe not necessary, but extremely nice to have. Will do it again on a tender itinerary.
  
• Embarkation - Smooth and easy. Minor bugs, but all told, really smooth.
  
• Cheers! - You DO pay taxes while in Florida waters. Once the casino opens, know that the taxes are done. That said, we saved a ton of money, and never quite made it to 15 drinks in a day.
  
• Entertainment - Hit and miss. There were two singer/guitarists, and they were just fine, but they played low-key music that didn't really pep us up. The Band: Kraken - Quite good. Piano Bar - Good time, nice snarky pianist. Piano is missing a low E, and that's so cheap to fix it should have been done 20 sailings ago. Playlist Productions - It's just not our bag, baby.
  
• Food - Lido's Paris Buffet was good as usual. Pizza Pirate is as good as people say it is (We liked the Au Chevre most). Deli was serviceable. Off The Grill was better than I thought it would be. Main Dining Room - It is what it is. Go on nights you want what they have. If they don't...don't. There's a million options. Chef's Table - If you do not try this at least once, you are missing out. Best Dining Experience of my Life.
  
• Staff - It seemed really difficult to get a drink for a good portion of the cruise. We finally latched on to a couple of guys who were really, really on top of the game, and stayed with them exclusively. Please, please go visit Mr. Arturo back at the Bar in the buffet (starboard aft). He is an absolute pleasure.
  
• Cruise Director - Jamie D was all over it. Energetic and bubbly. She has solved the trivia cheaters problem by making it into something completely other (and better).
  
• Cabin - U154 (non-refurbished as of now). Room is fine, comfortable and cozy. Unlimited high-pressure hot water made for this comment from my wife, after cracking the door open, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm never coming out from this wonderful cocoon that I have here. Goodbye." TV was Really Bad - the signal was degraded, and I think they tried overamplifying it to push it through to our room (that left us with washed out screens and lots of static)
  
• Other Guests - We met some wonderful people, and were happy to talk to them into the wee hours of the morning. Others were not so fun to be around. (I'll go into that later)
  
• Cozumel - Been there Done That, literally bought the T-shirt.
  
• Guest Services - Seem confused and boggle at you when you have a calm, legitimate concern and don't yell at them or ask for any compensation.
  
• Rex Nightclub - Should have seizure warning signs for those with epilepsy.
  
• Smoking Areas - More, please. Ironically, the Rex was the place onboard with the best ventilation, most ashtrays, and a closed-off environment, but it was closed for access most of the time (with security guards, no less). This seems like a really poorly thought-out plan.
  
• Pixels Staff - Talented, easy to work with, and willing to accomodate special request pictures. Judging by the sheer number of fingerprints on our favorite picture, we won the cruise photography contest that I just made up in my head right now.
  
• Debarkation - Is always the most horrible part of a cruise. This one was no better than others. Sad face here.
  

Overall, we give this cruise a 97 because it had a nice beat and we could dance to it.

Thanks for the review.

... Overall, we give this cruise a 97 because it had a nice beat and we could dance to it.

I love it.:D

Very well written and organized review.

Keith

• Other Guests - We met some wonderful people, and were happy to talk to them into the wee hours of the morning. Others were not so fun to be around. (I'll go into that later)
  
• .

Great review but you never did mention the other guests. Do tell, please.

Great review but you never did mention the other guests. Do tell, please.

That part comes in the long-format review this weekend :)

It's a fine line between being accurate and overly judgemental - I know that they were on their own cruise, with their own issues to consider, and that we were just "other guests" to them. But a quick "forinstance" :

It is uncool to snap fingers and wave at a bartender that's in the weeds because you want a drink RIGHT NOW before anyone else that was already there. It is even less cool to push into the space between my wife and a bar rail, snapping your fingers and waving your hand directly in her face hitting her on the side of the head with your bingo wings and never even say sorry.

I wanted to throw that lady into the sea.

Unfortunately, I think there has been one of those on every cruise we've been on.

Thanks for the review. We've sailed the Paradise a couple of times, and will sail out of Tampa on the Miracle in March. Looking forward to your longer review this weekend.

I forgot to mention the Hub App - IT IS FULL OF LIES. Weather was constantly being displayed as subzero. It showed lobster on the menu for elegant night, which was clearly not the case.

Looking for the long review as I sail on 2-12-18 and my first on Carnival and only the 2nd ever. Got me worried about disembarkation. I have FTTF and a plane to catch at 10:45 am.

Thank you for reviewing your cruise.

Yes, there can be some very rude fellow passengers.

Looking for the long review as I sail on 2-12-18 and my first on Carnival and only the 2nd ever. Got me worried about disembarkation. I have FTTF and a plane to catch at 10:45 am.

ASSUMING there is no fog, you should be fine. Debarkation is just unpleasant, but they've pretty much got the process whipped.

We had FTTF. We did self-assist, so we met in the Queen Mary Lounge at 7:15 AM. We were on dry land, ready to go by 8:30. There were shuttles offering $8 a person rides to the airport. about 20 minutes away.

We didn't fly till 4:30, so we dropped bags with the nice lady at the Florida Tourism desk right before you leave the terminal, walked over and got coffee up the street at Victory, came back and got bags, walked over to the Aquarium and re-dropped bags, and wandered there for a few hours.

I wanted to throw that lady into the sea.

You described a woman but she was no lady.

A) - Great User Name!

B) - Thanks for the review, we have cruised 2x on the Paradise and really enjoyed both cruises. I know the crew members rotate, but we've had great Stewards and Waitstaff on both trips!

C) Sounds like a fun trip, and I'm looking forward to the full review.

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to throw that lady into the sea.

I do promise that it's coming - I have been battling off the Cruise Crud (I always get a cold after travel), and having gone through O'Hare while that other passenger was wandering around with contagious Measles...Maybe I'm being overly cautious, but I'm sleeping a lot.