Friends of Dorothy

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#21
3,511 Posts
Joined Sep 2008
I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

David
#22
Staffordshire
1,047 Posts
Joined May 2011
Originally posted by balf
I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

David
The Red Hat Society was named because of the poem "When I am Old" by Jenny Joseph. This is my favourite poem and I have recently realised that I need to do some of the things in it, I have already started to wear purple occasionally so next I have to buy the red hat.
#23
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
Originally posted by balf
I have never seen any of these meetings on a P&O cruise, though aboard Cunard its common. It's one illustration of the cultural differences between the two countries. Even saw a meeting of the Red Hat Society once and had to ask an American fellow diner who told me it was a nationwide club for women which started for over 50's but now any woman could join.

Let's hear it for the Women's Institute.

David
I'm curious, both lines are British, or did you mean that Cunard has more Americans sailing on her?
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#24
UK
320 Posts
Joined Mar 2016
They are both American as they are owned by American companies.

But p&o is an uber British product with all the British sailaways, the Union Jack flags being handed out, the Union Jack livery, all the drinks prices and speciality restaurant etc being in £s, the tipping structure being in £s etc etc

Cunard has all the prices in $s, the tips are in $s and are more in line with American lines, you pay sales tax on each purchase in $s plus yes more Americans on board particularly the Queen Mary 2 transatlantics.

That's just my understanding.


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#25
3,511 Posts
Joined Sep 2008
Originally posted by claudiniusmaximus
They are both American as they are owned by American companies.

But p&o is an uber British product with all the British sailaways, the Union Jack flags being handed out, the Union Jack livery, all the drinks prices and speciality restaurant etc being in £s, the tipping structure being in £s etc etc

Cunard has all the prices in $s, the tips are in $s and are more in line with American lines, you pay sales tax on each purchase in $s plus yes more Americans on board particularly the Queen Mary 2 transatlantics.

That's just my understanding.


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100% correct, well explained.

David
#26
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
I personally think of Cunard as British. Although actually an classed as British-American cruise line, founded by a Canadian and a Scot.

Anyway, moving on...

I think there is still a place for an LGBT meeting, just as any other social gathering. I hope it doesn't just become one of those long forgotten traditions.
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#27
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
601 Posts
Joined Mar 2005
I have never seen an FoD/LGBT meeting advertised on P&O and have sailed with them 14 times since 1997. I have however found that there seem to be more LGBT pax these days - especially on my two cruises this year. P&O are usually happy to advertise any general meetings that a passenger wants to host.

Cunard 'affect' to be a British Line but the on-board currency is the USD, the menu is tailored to Americans and drinks etc have a 15% gratuity added. Don't get me wrong - I like Cunard - but it really does not feel like a British Line any more.
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Andrew

Past: Cunard QE2 & Queen Elizabeth; P&O Victoria, Oriana, Arcadia, Aurora, Oceana, Azura; Sea Princess; Celebrity Summit; Fred Olsen Black Watch, Saga Ruby, Portuscale MV Funchal, MS Mayfair (Nile River Cruise).

Future: CMV Marco Polo to Iceland.
#28
90 Posts
Joined Jul 2014
Originally posted by claudiniusmaximus
Speaking as a friend of Dorothy and as a friend of Bill W (I know, I know, friends all over;-)) the reason it's called friends of Bill W rather than just Alcoholics Anonymous is because it's not just for alcoholics. Any of the "anonymous" group members are welcome, narcotics anonymous, overeaters anonymous, gamblers anonymous, sex addicts anonymous and all the other anonymous etc etc are all welcome at a friends of Bill W meeting.

Personally I've always understood that cruises were the gay-friendliest type of holiday since way back. Must be something about all those sailors. When I did my first cruise ten years ago I asked a fellow gay friend who had been on one if we would have any trouble as a gay couple on board and his response was something like "oh god no, I've been on the forums and it's really gay friendly, no problems at all".

I, too, prefer friends of dorothy to LGBT(Q) it's just so lovely and quaint. Personally I think it should be up to the group organising it to decide on which name to use, it shouldn't be dictated by the cruise line. But I suspect as many LGBTQ folk are as happy with either (if we could ever agree that is lol).


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I'm sure they'd get a lot more interest in a sex addicts meeting if they publicised it.
#29
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
Originally posted by Britboys
I have never seen an FoD/LGBT meeting advertised on P&O and have sailed with them 14 times since 1997. I have however found that there seem to be more LGBT pax these days - especially on my two cruises this year. P&O are usually happy to advertise any general meetings that a passenger wants to host.
I guess it must just one of those random things. They either do them or they don't. I've seen the FoD/LGBT meetings advertised/held at least 60% of the cruises I've been on. Probably only on the last two has there not been any.

They had a former crewmembers (of a ship I can't remember the name of) get together a couple of times on the last one I was on. Guess both that and LGBT do come down to people requesting or setting up a meeting.
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#30
Lancashire, England
874 Posts
Joined Aug 2010
I have sailed with P&O over 20 times, during which I have seen a FoD meeting advertised only once. It was hosted by two gay employees, an officer and a member of the entertainments team, who explained that P&O only organised one if requested to do so by a passenger. This happened infrequently. This contrasted with my sailings with Celebrity where FoDs were invited to meet daily before dinner in - where else - the martini bar.
#31
Staffordshire
1,980 Posts
Joined Sep 2010
There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.
#32
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
Funny when you think, you could have 45 LGBT passengers on a cruise but ithere'll be no FoD if none of them ask. Likewise there could be only 4 on another they end up with two or three meetings. Just the luck 'o the draw.
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#33
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
Just off Arcadia, and there were no LGBT meetings on that particular cruise. I kept and eagle-eye on the Horizon, but there was nothing. There were at least three couples on board, so i know I wasn't the only one.

I was actually contemplating going to a meeting if there was one. (Admittedly I didn't ask for one to be added/created).

C'est la vie I guess.
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#34
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
601 Posts
Joined Mar 2005
Originally posted by majortom10
There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.
Just goes to show how inconsistent it is. In your 17 years you have seen them on every cruise and in my twenty, I have never seen one. I may have missed a Bill W entry in Horizon but I would have certainly noticed an FoD or LGBT meet.
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Andrew

Past: Cunard QE2 & Queen Elizabeth; P&O Victoria, Oriana, Arcadia, Aurora, Oceana, Azura; Sea Princess; Celebrity Summit; Fred Olsen Black Watch, Saga Ruby, Portuscale MV Funchal, MS Mayfair (Nile River Cruise).

Future: CMV Marco Polo to Iceland.
#35
York, UK
4,574 Posts
Joined Jan 2009
Originally posted by majortom10
There has always been Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Bill W meetings held on every P&O cruise I have been on over the last 17yrs of cruising with them but never on a daily basis so they could be easily missed in the Horizon where they are always advertised.


Nope never seen a FOD or Bill W meeting on any of our P&O cruises and I scrutinise the Horizon every day. How come everyone else has missed these meetings? I have Horizons here from 3 of our P&O trips and have re-examined them and there are no meetings shown in those.


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#36
1,240 Posts
Joined Jul 2012
Originally posted by Britboys
Just goes to show how inconsistent it is. In your 17 years you have seen them on every cruise and in my twenty, I have never seen one. I may have missed a Bill W entry in Horizon but I would have certainly noticed an FoD or LGBT meet.
I have seen both meetings along with Masonic ones on both Azura and Ventura but I can't remember for the Britannia. I'm sure they are arranged if passengers request them.
#37
Manchester, UK
10,267 Posts
Joined Apr 2005
Originally posted by kevinyork
Pete, it was listed in the daily newspaper on our Celebrity cruise a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately it's now called the LGBTQ meeting. Usually at the Martini Bar or World Class Bar. I hated to ask but unfortunately found out the Q at the end was for Queer. Apparently the US gays want to take ownership of the Queer term when for us it's already covered by the LGBT term. For us using Queer is a backward step and unnecessary. I long for the days of the friends of Dorothy meetings now. The US ships have the friends of Bill W meetings and yet don't need to spell out that this means Alcoholics Anonymous.


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Interesting, I'll keep my eyes out on our upcoming TA on Eclipse.

Apparently the 'proper' terminology is now LGBTQ+ according the those a lot younger than I.

I also object to the term 'Queer' because 40 years ago it was definitely a derogatory term and led to many cases of abuse. However, the young LGBTQ+ 'set' don't know about that period and I doubt want to know.

Btw the 'Q' is supposed to be used for those who do not fit into either gender and consider themselves 'non binary', '+' on the other hand identifies those who are pan sexual, asexual, gender fluid, two spirit etc apparently.
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Peteukmcr from Manchester, UK




#38
Wimborne, Dorset
865 Posts
Joined Sep 2009
Originally posted by peteukmcr
Interesting, I'll keep my eyes out on our upcoming TA on Eclipse.

Apparently the 'proper' terminology is now LGBTQ+ according the those a lot younger than I.

I also object to the term 'Queer' because 40 years ago it was definitely a derogatory term and led to many cases of abuse. However, the young LGBTQ+ 'set' don't know about that period and I doubt want to know.

Btw the 'Q' is supposed to be used for those who do not fit into either gender and consider themselves 'non binary', '+' on the other hand identifies those who are pan sexual, asexual, gender fluid, two spirit etc apparently.
It was my understanding that the current terminology is LGBTQI, where the I stands for In-between or similar, but I suppose the + is a better option as it then suggests there is no need for any more letters of the alphabet to be coined.
#39
Grand Canyon Concourse
286 Posts
Joined Dec 2013
I must be old fashioned then, as I only use LGBT. Maybe + on occaisons.

Whilst we have already discussed that FoD is 'outdated' and was a descreet code for like minded passengers, you'll find that some people (not of the community) don't know what it represents anyway.
I have to resist saying its the new BLT.... 'Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato'. (all in good humour of course).
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#40
Staffordshire
1,980 Posts
Joined Sep 2010
Originally posted by Monorail Orange
I must be old fashioned then, as I only use LGBT. Maybe + on occaisons.

Whilst we have already discussed that FoD is 'outdated' and was a descreet code for like minded passengers, you'll find that some people (not of the community) don't know what it represents anyway.
I have to resist saying its the new BLT.... 'Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato'. (all in good humour of course).
Exactly that is why they use the term "Friends of Dorothy" discretion.