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What if you really hate your dining mates?


LindaJ+
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If there had been an alternative, I would have asked to be moved. We were on a cruise from Baltimore aboard the Carnival Pride. We were seated at a 4 top. The other couple were a retired portland cement plant manager and his much put upon wife. He was dull, grumpy (those are the good points) and spent the whole of every dinner telling us how much better everything was done on "Royal".

 

His wife was very pleasant and spent most of the cruise rolling her eyes and otherwise indicating that she disagreed with her husband. The ship was full. The dining room was full. We at least had two 10 tops nearby that had large families who were fun and friendly. Moving was not an option.

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either fixed or as you wish. We don't want to be forced to hear other peoples opinions and suffer their rudeness to the staff or be forced to share their religious beliefs or practices. We just want to enjoy our dinner and appreciate the service we receive.

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We always ask for late seating at a table for 8. We have never had a problem with a table mates. We once had a table of thirteen, youngest was 16 oldest 80 each night we would change places so we would have different people next & across. We were all CC members did lots of excursions & ship board activities together. It was one of are more enjoyable cruises. It's always fun meeting new & interesting people, which is one reason we enjoy cruising.

Allan

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We prefer to do anytime dining. On our last two cruises, which were 24 days each, we always asked to sit at a table for 8. My only request was that it be a round table. We loved meeting different people every night and the conversation flowed nicely at the round table. Sometimes they seated a couple with us that had been at our table on another night. It was like meeting old friends again. We had a great time!

 

Helen

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You can always ask for a table for 2.

Curious, why would your TA sign you up for something you don't want?

 

Because I'm ignorant and don't know what I want. :D

 

I'm sure it will work out ... and sounds like there are options if not.

 

Interesting to read everyone's experiences!

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Because I'm ignorant and don't know what I want. :D

 

I'm sure it will work out ... and sounds like there are options if not.

 

Interesting to read everyone's experiences!

 

I have a feeling you are going to have fun and meet some great people :)

 

don't worry and have fun planning :)

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Because I'm ignorant and don't know what I want. :D

 

I'm sure it will work out ... and sounds like there are options if not.

 

Interesting to read everyone's experiences!

 

I'm sure it will work out too. The great thing is, there are choices and options. :) Have a great cruise!

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Several years ago my DH and I did the 30-some day Hawaii Tahiti cruise. We were part of a group and had fixed early dining. The table for 6 was at the very rear of the dining room, warm from the big window and crammed in, but nice view of the sunset despite the other shortcomings.

There was the 2 of us, a single lady who barely spoke and a retired professor and his wife. Every night we had to wait on the professor to arrive before we could order. He was waiting to see the "green flash" at sunset if he could since we were in the right area to do so.( Google it if you are unfamiliar) :) Well this went on for several nights until we started to tell him we had seen " the green flash" from the dining room window and he was missing it. I'm not sure if he believed us or not but he was a little more punctual ! We also took a break and went to the other dining venues a few times the rest of the cruise!:eek:

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How bad can it be? It is a cruise, not a prison.

 

If you dislike your tablemates so much that you wish to move (very remote possibility) then there are many options. Change your seating, dine elsewhere, whatever.

 

It really is not a big issue. I could never understand the people who, in this situation, did nothing and suffered through the entire cruise. Life is too short for that nonsense. At least it is for us.

 

To me, it is no different that not sending a sub standard meal, poorly prepared, or grossly exaggerated meal back to the kitchen. Why suffer through something you paid top dollar for on your limited time vacation. It's a mystery to me.

Edited by iancal
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Several years ago my DH and I did the 30-some day Hawaii Tahiti cruise. We were part of a group and had fixed early dining. The table for 6 was at the very rear of the dining room, warm from the big window and crammed in, but nice view of the sunset despite the other shortcomings.

There was the 2 of us, a single lady who barely spoke and a retired professor and his wife. Every night we had to wait on the professor to arrive before we could order. He was waiting to see the "green flash" at sunset if he could since we were in the right area to do so.( Google it if you are unfamiliar) :) Well this went on for several nights until we started to tell him we had seen " the green flash" from the dining room window and he was missing it. I'm not sure if he believed us or not but he was a little more punctual ! We also took a break and went to the other dining venues a few times the rest of the cruise!:eek:

 

Being more than a few minutes late is very rude. We had a couple who were about 20 minutes late the first three nights. No apology, no explanation. They just came in late and sat down. The first night, we didn't know if the table would be full, so the 6 of us there went ahead and ordered. When they arrived, she turned out to be high maintenance. Just wanted vegetables, couldn't have ice in the water (yes, I know for some people that's a real medical issue), and various other fussy things. I was glad we'd already ordered, at least our meals were "in the works." Same thing the next two nights. On the third night, our waiter had the asst manager come to the table with the pre-order vegetarian meal. She took the paper, but I doubt she ever filled it in. They never came to the table again. They were pleasant enough once they got there, but the lateness was inconsiderate.

 

And if in all my years of cruising, that's the worst story I can come up with, obviously we've had good luck with table companions.

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There's a grey area where leaving your fixed-seating table mates might be more rude than the off-comments or mannerisms you endured during a meal or two. Sometimes it is best to err on the side of accepting their flaw. If the topic turns to politics or religion, it depends how pushy they are, but sharing beliefs is good when done rightly. However, if any of it is directed personally toward you, or there are signs of an intrusive personality, I would not return to the table.

 

I am reminded of a girl in high school who had a sort of wisdom that I wish I had, who in good humor nicknamed herself "friend of the friendless". If I had her sensitivity, empathy and humor, I could easily "endure" a certain level of obnoxious behavior.

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There's a grey area where leaving your fixed-seating table mates might be more rude than the off-comments or mannerisms you endured during a meal or two. Sometimes it is best to err on the side of accepting their flaw. If the topic turns to politics or religion, it depends how pushy they are, but sharing beliefs is good when done rightly. However, if any of it is directed personally toward you, or there are signs of an intrusive personality, I would not return to the table.

 

I am reminded of a girl in high school who had a sort of wisdom that I wish I had, who in good humor nicknamed herself "friend of the friendless". If I had her sensitivity, empathy and humor, I could easily "endure" a certain level of obnoxious behavior.

 

There's no "grey area"! If you are uncomfortable with your table companions quietly seek out the maitre d' and get switched on the next night. You're on vacation, there's no reason you should have to "endure" anything.

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Exactly. There is no grey area. It reminds me of people who appear to accept significant cabin maintenance issues as 'part of the cruise experience'

 

If you feel that you are, or have to suffer through it then it really becomes an issue with you, not your table mates.

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I'd say that once you decide that you will not return to the table, then yes, forget the "grey area". My impression from this thread is that some people may be a bit too quick to decide. I'm no expert in etiquette, though.

 

I think the gray area is how tolerant a person is of other people. If your idea of a cruise is quality time alone, or if you don't like to be bothered with meeting strangers, then yes, book a two top. If you like dinner to be a more social situation, book a large table. Something for everyone.

 

We had a couple leave our fixed-dining table (table for 6) on Princess. They had traveled with Princess a bazillion times and knew the maitre d', who magically "found" them a two-top by a window, their favorite location. The man saw me on board the next morning and told me that they hadn't left because they didn't like us, but because they got their favorite table. I know that people change tables for lots of reasons, but I thought it was nice that he bothered to apologize. We ran into them a couple of times during the cruise and always took a few minutes to chat.

 

So if someone leaves your table, remember it may not be because of you!

Edited by 3rdGenCunarder
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There's no "grey area"! If you are uncomfortable with your table companions quietly seek out the maitre d' and get switched on the next night. You're on vacation, there's no reason you should have to "endure" anything.

I agree. There are certain settings, such as at work, where you may have little choice but to put up with the behaviour of others, but the table on a cruise isn't one of them. That said, your personal tolerance level should dictate whether you seek out a large table or a two top.

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I think the gray area is how tolerant a person is of other people. If your idea of a cruise is quality time alone, or if you don't like to be bothered with meeting strangers, then yes, book a two top. If you like dinner to be a more social situation, book a large table. Something for everyone.

 

We had a couple leave our fixed-dining table (table for 6) on Princess. They had traveled with Princess a bazillion times and knew the maitre d', who magically "found" them a two-top by a window, their favorite location. The man saw me on board the next morning and told me that they hadn't left because they didn't like us, but because they got their favorite table. I know that people change tables for lots of reasons, but I thought it was nice that he bothered to apologize. We ran into them a couple of times during the cruise and always took a few minutes to chat.

 

So if someone leaves your table, remember it may not be because of you!

 

We also had a couple leave our fixed dining table. We saw her a day or two later and she told us it was because of the children who were seated with their parents nearby. The first night of the cruise, the children and one parent had colds and were a little snotty nosed. Well, you would have thought they had the plague the way this couple went on. It was good that they found another table to their liking. We stayed and enjoyed watching the family every evening (their colds were short lived). Some other people were placed with us and we had a lovely time.

 

We once had our table reassigned at our request. We were seated with a man and his son and the son was very much interested in all things to do with war. My DM, having grown up during the war, being bombed, losing her home, becoming a refugee, etc., had absolutely no interest in the topic. We were moved to a four top with another couple; it was much more enjoyable. I believe we did give the father a diplomatic excuse as to why we requested the move.

Edited by Alberta Quilter
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DH and I had a string of poor tablemates and stuck it out hoping that polite dinner conversation would develop. (The silence was deafening) Unfortunately things did not improve. Being responsible adults, we determined that we must be the problem and resolved the issue by removing ourselves, requesting a 2 top so as not to inflict ourselves on others.

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We also had a couple leave our fixed dining table. We saw her a day or two later and she told us it was because of the children who were seated with their parents nearby. The first night of the cruise, the children and one parent had colds and were a little snotty nosed. Well, you would have thought they had the plague the way this couple went on. It was good that they found another table to their liking. We stayed and enjoyed watching the family every evening (their colds were short lived). Some other people were placed with us and we had a lovely time.

 

We once had our table reassigned at our request. We were seated with a man and his son and the son was very much interested in all things to do with war. My DM, having grown up during the war, being bombed, losing her home, becoming a refugee, etc., had absolutely no interest in the topic. We were moved to a four top with another couple; it was much more enjoyable. I believe we did give the father a diplomatic excuse as to why we requested the move.

Based on some of the posts I've read in other threads, the mere presence of children in close proximity to the table would be sufficient to send the couple running, even if the youngsters were in perfect health and well behaved. :eek: :)

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Being more than a few minutes late is very rude. We had a couple who were about 20 minutes late the first three nights. No apology, no explanation. They just came in late and sat down. The first night, we didn't know if the table would be full, so the 6 of us there went ahead and ordered. When they arrived, she turned out to be high maintenance. Just wanted vegetables, couldn't have ice in the water (yes, I know for some people that's a real medical issue), and various other fussy things. I was glad we'd already ordered, at least our meals were "in the works." Same thing the next two nights. On the third night, our waiter had the asst manager come to the table with the pre-order vegetarian meal. She took the paper, but I doubt she ever filled it in. They never came to the table again. They were pleasant enough once they got there, but the lateness was inconsiderate.

 

And if in all my years of cruising, that's the worst story I can come up with, obviously we've had good luck with table companions.

 

This is the reason I like open. When I did fixed it seemed so many people have no respect for time. On a different vein, On one princess cruise I had a couple that thought it was ok to make out at the table:D. I've met some really nice people it open. On my last cruise I ended up eating dinner every night with the same ladies. Sometimes you meet some real pills but at least you have less chance of having to see them again.

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We've always enjoyed assigned seating, until we came in so late from Princess excursions (at no fault of our own), missed our dinning time and ended up at the buffet. One time, we were so late, they had closed one side of the buffet, the other side was so crowd, and we ended up with pizza. We went anytime dinning after that. We have met some really great fun people doing both, and met some real opinionated condescending bores, too. Its just the lucky of the draw :)

Edited by riiso1004
typo
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I've always been lucky and had a table with (at least somewhat) interesting people. I say try your luck and go for a big table. You never know who you are going to meet.

 

One of the most interesting experiences was having a table mate who had been an administrative officer on QE2. She had lots of stories about the ship and I was fascinated to learn about how occasionally when the QE2 was in the Channel or the Irish Sea, British special military forces would use the QE2 for "practice." Early in the morning they would approach the ship at speed, use climbing equipment to board the ship (again while the ship was doing 28 knots) and "take over" the bridge and other operational areas of QE2.

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Too often, if it's a large table, there'll be one person who dominates the conversation and it's hard for others to carry on other conversations because of the size of the group. After several hundred days of cruising I learned that there's no point in giving obnoxious people just "one more chance" and staying at the same table a second night. Change tables right away.

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