Help With 8 Year Old

Ok I can truly speak from experience on this. My oldest son's father is deceased. So with the death certificate I was able to get him a passport. Easy.

I am divorced from my youngest son's father. He meets us every time we need to get/renew a passport because both parents are required to be present. Then, every time we travel, I take a notarized letter from his dad authorizing the travel and giving my husband authority to seek medical treatment and travel with my child, in case I became incapacitated.

Both my kids have different last names than I do. (And my hubby). We have been on 10+ cruises and I have never been questioned about anything and never had to produce the letter. But better safe than sorry.

Long story short, my husband and I were supposed to cruise this year and didn't get to but will be going next year instead. My step son has shown interest in going so we plan to take him. We wanted to surprise him with it, as in not tell him anything until we show up. He is 8 and my husband shares joint legal custody of him but she has primary physical custody. Can we even do this? It seems like a long time ago, before I had a step son, I read something about needing her permission? Can't seem to find that now though. Any help is appreciated!

I'm sorry but it was your comments that got the responses it did. Can we do this? I read something about needing her permission.

Let's look at these two statements. Can we do this? You are asking us if you can take him out of the country even though you don't have total custody.

Your next comment: I read something about needing her permission. That clearly stipulates that you know you need her permission but because of the surprise you won't have it when you show up on his doorstep.

We wanted to surprise him with it, as in not tell him anything until we show up. Your comment combined with the other two brought a lot of us to the conclusion that you had no intention of telling the mother and getting permission in advance. You made it sound like you were going to pick the kid up and leave the country hoping you didn't need her permission or knowledge.

If you don't like the responses maybe you should read your post over before pushing the submit button. You weren't attacked. We were trying to tell you that showing up on a doorstep and taking a child out of the country without the parents knowledge wasn't a good thing. We didn't know you are best buds and she would welcome you doing so and be willing to go that day to get the notarized letter. We didn't know she can't keep a secret.

Your 8 YO will want to know in advance even if it is just a few weeks. He is old enough to be excited. Don't you get excited about going on a cool vacation. He might want to know about the ship and the destination and getting to swim with the turtles (or whatever). Like another PP said, give him a brochure and let him get as excited as you.

We told our grandkids by giving them their own carryon suitcase, wrapped it and filled it with the things they will want to take like bathing suits, googles, life savers (the candy type), underwater camera.