Teen suggestions?

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#1
Lumberton, NJ
271 Posts
Joined Aug 2004
My husband's whole family is cruising next summer to Bermuda. We will be sharing our cabin with my 11yo son, but my daughter (who will be 16) will be in a cabin with her two cousins, ages 16 and 18. A niece (34) and her husband and daughter will be in the adjoining cabin. I know, doesn't make sense, but I didn't set up the rooms. All 3 teens are good kids, but I am a little nervous about her being able to come and go without my knowledge. Last summer she was in our room and I was awake until she came in for the night. She obeyed her curfew and we all had a great time.
Any suggestions on how to keep tabs on her at night without making myself crazy? I don't know if the 3 will hang out together much, my daughter gets along with them ok, but she likes to meet new people and mingle, and they pretty much keep to themselves.
Any help would be appreciated!
#2
Moon Township, Pa
23,174 Posts
Joined Oct 2000
Just have her stop in your cabin at night before she turns in or give you a call to let you know she's in her cabin for the night. If you can trust her at home, you most likely can trust her on the ship.
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Darcie
#3
Lumberton, NJ
271 Posts
Joined Aug 2004
I thought I might do that, but then I read from other cruisers how their kids just went back out again. I don't think she would do that, but... I guess we have a pretty good relationship - she tells me a lot still, but I don't judge her or her friends, just try and listen. Maybe I will feel better as time approaches. Thanks for the advice.
#4
South East PA
6,916 Posts
Joined Dec 2004
How about mentioning you will be doing spot checks or phone calls. Follow up the first night or so to make her know you are serious.
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#6
2,436 Posts
Joined Nov 2004
Originally posted by kitty9
Just have her stop in your cabin at night before she turns in or give you a call to let you know she's in her cabin for the night. If you can trust her at home, you most likely can trust her on the ship.
That's what we did. Set a curfew and last person in the room had to call us!
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#7
Glen Allen, Virginia
578 Posts
Joined Jan 2004
You can always use the school trip solution. When my son's school went on a trip, the teachers placed tape on the door & frame once the kids were in for the night. If the tape was broken, someone had opened the door. Worked great for an entire class of 10th graders!
#9
Cincinnati, OH
8,463 Posts
Joined Mar 2002
When I took my daughter on a cruise she changed into a different person. She would do things that I would have sworn she would never do They met some other teens on board and it was hard to make them obey the curfew.

If they were up late at night it was difficult if not impossible to get them out of bed the next morning for excursions. If we were doing sightseeing they would badger us till we let them go back to the ship. And the worst thing she did was sneak off the ship in the Bahamas. Our next cruise she is staying home.

So I guess I am the last person to being giving advice but I would tell of the dangers and give dire circumstances for not obeying the rules. Also, dont give total freedom and check on the regulary.
#10
256 Posts
Joined Jan 2005
If you have adjoining cabins that have a door in between can't you just lock the 2nd cabin's door from the inside and inside everyone just use the other door. You can also point out its for their protection too, as anyone coming in the middle of the night must go thru your cabin first?

What about setting a door alarm on the cabin, you know the portable one you can put on your luggage?

I like the tape...don't have to tell them you are doing this... just do it at night, and then take off in am before they get up...

Also ...tip tip tip the night-time staff to keep an eye out and let you know if there is any trouble???
#11
New Philadelphia, OH
105 Posts
Joined Mar 2005
I like the tape idea. I will have two 16 year old boys in a room across the hall from us. They are pretty good boys, but i've heard the teen change when there on a cruise. This is our first cruise. I found a teen cruise site for my son. I've checked on that a couple of times. some of them were talking about drinking and having sex. I know there going to do sooner or later I prefer later.HA
Thanks for the good ideas.
Sheila
#12
Los Angeles
666 Posts
Joined Feb 2005
Why not see about switching cabins with your hubby's niece and her husband? That way with adjoining rooms you could keep tabs on all of them.
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#13
Pawleys Island, SC
260 Posts
Joined Dec 2004
How about getting a set of walkie talkies and leaving it turned on all night so you can hear what is going on. Perhaps an inexpensive baby monitor would work just as well. As for me, I'll be spying on my two boys who are down the halll via a walkie talkie.
#14
1,040 Posts
Joined Dec 2004
Originally posted by janep
How about getting a set of walkie talkies and leaving it turned on all night so you can hear what is going on. Perhaps an inexpensive baby monitor would work just as well. As for me, I'll be spying on my two boys who are down the halll via a walkie talkie.
I'm 17, will be 18 on Sunday, so I can give you the teen's perspective... Most of the ideas here are great, and while it may stink to know I have to be in by curfew, its a rule, and I'd much rather be in by 2:30 (as was my curfew) than sneak back out, be caught, and be on "cabin-arrest" for the rest of the cruise. Rules are rules, and there's nothing wrong with enforcing them by using tape, or the spot-check idea. However... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, do NOT whatever you do, use that baby-monitor idea. Unless you're child is young enough to need a baby monitor at home (and they'd probably be in your room if they were that young anyway) don't use one on a cruise. I read that post, and felt a need to respond. I also asked for my mothers opinion. We both believe that is a HUGE invasion of privacy. I certainly talk to my little sister about things in our room that if taken out of context could be taken in a bad way by my parents. I'm sure you say innocent things that if your kids heard, they would freak out about. Personally, if I found out my mother did that to me, I would feel very hurt. I'd feel as though she had absolutely no trust in me whatsoever and I would be annoyed as well. If you feel you need to be that mindful of your child, make them stay in your room I guess... Sorry if I offended the poster of that idea, but I honestly feel that might cause a lot of resentment from your child if you did it.

One last note... the tape idea is a good one, but spot-checks are better. (Or a variation on spot checks, a phone call if its not too loud) Children are bound to make "friends" whos parents don't have the tape idea, and its pretty easy to say, "hey, when we sneak back in at 4 am, put this tape back over our door before you leave"
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#15
San Antonio
186 Posts
Joined Jan 2005
We just got back from a cruise with our 14 year old daughter in our room and her three teenage brothers in another. I know she is a few years older, but you really don't need to worry about her. There is great supervision with her age-group. The guides on the ships are wonderful. There are activities going on around the cloce, but as long as you give her a time to be back to the room, it shouldn't be a problem. Our oldest boys bought the walkie-talkies from the ship store just so they could have fun with them. They have a 5 mile radius with great reception if you want to go that route. But my advise? Don't worry, she'll have a ball and so will you! Have fun!
#16
Pawleys Island, SC
260 Posts
Joined Dec 2004
Bethwte, thanks for the great perspective from a teen. I'm guessing you are a very responsible one and I commend you for that!
I plan to turn on the walkie talkie when my 11 year old goes to bed and to be able to hear my 17 year old return by simply saying he is back. I will rest assured that he will not leave again, knowing I will "hear" him. It will get turned off as soon as the first wakes. I am not hiding the fact that this is what I am doing. They are both aware and agreeable to this. This is how we considered them having their own cabin. They chose to have their own cabin, but knowing they would have us "listening" while they sleep.
I also want to be sure that nobody else goes in their room. (workers,etc.)
Never ever can a parent be too cautious.
#17
Lumberton, NJ
271 Posts
Joined Aug 2004
These are great ideas. Thanks so much. I am going to ask my niece if she wouldn't mind switching. I think they are in adjoining rooms. I think, then, she could come in and say goodnight to me when she gets in for the night. I don't think she would go back out, especially if she knows that I, being a very light sleeper, would hear the door open and close. (Even if I can't, I would tell her that I can! )