Thank you gifts for tour guides

Got2Cruise

 

I can't see why a customer should be expected to top up somebody's salary just because the employer is too mean to pay the minimum wage to an employee. Surely it's the employees right to be paid within the law.

 

 

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It’s not considered mean, it’s universal practice. That’s just how it’s done. US has legal minimum wage but restaurants are exempt because the “tips” are considered income.

I’m not condoning the practice, just pointing out that’s how it’s done in US, especially NY where I live.

Got2Cruise

In that case there is something very wrong with the US system. Some restaurants, especially new places like NYC are making a fortune, so should be paying their staff a proper wage and not rely on tips. Why should the restaurants be earning thousands of dollars and not pay their employees properly.

There is something very wrong somewhere.

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Got2Cruise

 

In that case there is something very wrong with the US system. Some restaurants, especially new places like NYC are making a fortune, so should be paying their staff a proper wage and not rely on tips. Why should the restaurants be earning thousands of dollars and not pay their employees properly.

 

There is something very wrong somewhere.

 

 

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Whenever I think about tipping I remember the taxi driver in Sheffield who I tipped by rounding up maybe £8.50 to £10 because it was a cold day and I could not be bothered to wait for change. So I gave him the note and said "keep the change". His reply was "are you sure?". I ended up feeling quite awkward. I am a more regularly "rounder upper" or 10% if it has been a nice meal. I am going to Alaska at the end of this week. I think that it will be hard for us as a family to cope with the rules. When we went to NYC we were given a mini-lecture by the waiter in a Times Square restaurant. I was aware of the tipping culture but he actually got less out of me as a result. Que cara!

The US does have a minimum wage, currently $7.25 an hour. However, tipped employees can be payed a lower wage provided they receive $5.12 an hour in tips. Thus, the employer can pay them as little as $2.13 an hour provided they receive at least $5.12 in tips, for a total of $7.25 an hour. If they receive less in tips, the employer has to make up the difference. Here is a link with an example:

https://www.minimum-wage.org/federal/tipped-employee-minimum-wage

States are allowed to set higher minimum wages for its residents and about half the states do so. Currently, the highest minimum wage is $11.50 in Washington, DC.

This system allows some employers to shift the burden of wages to the consumers. The consumers are told that this will encourage "good" service and they are seen as reward for "good" service. Of course, this leads to the annoying, incessant questions of "Is everything ok?" while you are eating your meal. Frankly, IMO, it is disgraceful.

US consumers are conditioned by law to tip. Many refuse to believe other countries pay their employees the same minimum wage and that there is no two-tier system elsewhere.

Thanks for the explanation, at least I now understand how it works and why restaurant staff need tips in the USA. I still think it’s both immoral and unethical!

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Thanks for the explanation, at least I now understand how it works and why restaurant staff need tips in the USA. I still think it’s both immoral and unethical!

 

 

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I will not disagree with that.

Thanks for the explanation, at least I now understand how it works and why restaurant staff need tips in the USA. I still think it’s both immoral and unethical!

 

 

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It’s more of an old cultural tradition. I don’t know how it started but I am 51 and it was that way before me. I understand the annoyance with it as in feeling you have to tip when you are already paying a price for something. Maybe we’ll get past it one of these days.

I think I understand further the perceived arrogance and tastelessness Americans convey when tipping excessively or unnecessarily, and our lack of cultural preparation for visiting new places.

For what it’s worth I don’t think most Americans are so rich or loose with cash that we wander about looking for people to tip as a way to feel good about ourselves.

As noted, we all just know restaurant servers here rely on gratuities and we argue about it as well to some extent but most of us have just accepted it. A few hardcore stiffers, and we have them, don’t change the system.

A lot of Americans have not traveled much outside of the country. We can easily do a lifetime of various vacations without ever leaving. It’s a big country with interesting geography and unique cities and subcultures. For those who venture forth, a lot go to Mexico or the Caribbean first. These tend to be poor places where people seem almost desperate. So we feel like the right thing to do is share and be generous and they certainly seem to expect it. It doesn’t mean everyone wants to do so. Some just feel obligated.

This doesn’t excuse traveling to more prosperous and developed countries and acting like clods because we don’t know what we’re doing.

However it’s a little disheartening that the tone here is so unforgiving. If the worst thing I do when I visit Europe is tell someone to keep the change, and that is so awful that you prefer the whole continent is spared from my toxic influence, it’s easy enough to go somewhere else.

If tipping is not needed you can just say, “thank you but it’s not necessary” or, “thank you but we are not allowed to accept tips. It has been our pleasure to serve you.” It’s meant as kindness, not rudeness, and any mistake is unintentional.

It’s not just about making us feel good. More about trying to do the right thing with good intentions.

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Marazul and Grandma Cruising

I heartily agree with both of you and find the constant 'enjoy your meal' and asking if everything alright extremely annoying and intrusive. Makes me want to not leave a tip at all. Disgraceful system. What happened to the American Dream?

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However it’s a little disheartening that the tone here is so unforgiving. If the worst thing I do when I visit Europe is tell someone to keep the change, and that is so awful that you prefer the whole continent is spared from my toxic influence, it’s easy enough to go somewhere else.

 

If tipping is not needed you can just say, “thank you but it’s not necessary” or, “thank you but we are not allowed to accept tips. It has been our pleasure to serve you.” It’s meant as kindness, not rudeness, and any mistake is unintentional.

 

It’s not just about making us feel good. More about trying to do the right thing with good intentions.

 

 

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Part of the problem is that you are looking at it from the wrong end of the lens. The folks that you are handing out tips to are not likely to refuse them. It's not like tipping is considered "insulting" in Europe (the way it is in Japan), and those pocketing the tips, even though earning a living wage, are unlikely to say no to them.

As I said, the problem is that you don't really have an opportunity to talk to the "normal" (non-service industry) people who live in a particular city or country and get a sense of how this impacts them.

In the effort of pleasing an individual (a guide, driver) who has provided service to you, it is easy to overlook the bigger picture.

The bigger picture is that you are traveling somewhere where you are not a resident, and you should be mindful of not leaving your own footprint behind (as euro cruiser expressed nicely above) and changing things for those who do live there.

Marazul and Grandma Cruising

 

I heartily agree with both of you and find the constant 'enjoy your meal' and asking if everything alright extremely annoying and intrusive. Makes me want to not leave a tip at all. Disgraceful system. What happened to the American Dream?

 

 

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The American dream is alive and well. KMom tried to explain it in a kind, pleasant, informative way. If you read her post...…..as for "constant" "enjoy your meal"...….it is not constant...…..a good server knows when to ask and when to stay away. A good server is there when needed. If you want a refill of water or more coffee, etc.

To make sure the entrée is cooked as you ordered it. Looks like this is a topic that we will all have to just

respectfully to agree to disagree on...…….but as Kmom noted, seems there are many folks who think we are

rude but I guess that will never change.:(

However it’s a little disheartening that the tone here is so unforgiving. If the worst thing I do when I visit Europe is tell someone to keep the change, and that is so awful that you prefer the whole continent is spared from my toxic influence, it’s easy enough to go somewhere else.

 

If tipping is not needed you can just say, “thank you but it’s not necessary” or, “thank you but we are not allowed to accept tips. It has been our pleasure to serve you.” It’s meant as kindness, not rudeness, and any mistake is unintentional.

 

It’s not just about making us feel good. More about trying to do the right thing with good intentions.

I think the tone is more about those who know but insist on doing things their way, regardless of the impact, not about those who simply don't know any better. That said, it is incumbent on all of us to learn what we can about the habits and customs of places we are fortunate enough to travel to.

People ask here all the time about tipping, which is a good thing. We also often have questions about appropriate dress, another good question.

The attitude you're picking up on is really directed, I think, at those who read about what is appropriate but want to argue about it anyway. The "but I do tip anyway because I want to" or "it's hot and I'm going to wear what makes me comfortable regardless of what the church thinks I should wear" crowd.

My thoughts keep coming back to the "leave no trace" philosophy. Most of us understand and comply when in the outdoors, we don't litter like we used to because we finally understand the long term impacts on the environment even though each individual act of littering doesn't mean much by itself. Maybe someday people will understand the negative long term impacts of insisting on leaving some of their cultural trash behind when they travel.

St. Augustine had it right 1,600 years ago, roughly translated as "when in Rome, do as the Romans do".

https://www.trivia-library.com/b/origins-of-sayings-when-in-rome-do-as-the-romans-do.htm

As I’ve stated previously, I come down on the side of not tipping anywhere it’s not the custom. I’ve tried to do my best with planning for travels to be a thoughtful visitor even if it made me feel awkward (or disappointed or some other feeling) because that’s just part of traveling....the experiences one has along the way. If everything felt like home, why would we go anywhere? Moreover, there’s almost no place to go where everything is easy, if you really think about it, there’s an adjustment to something or another on every trip though perhaps some changes less unsettling than others - saying aloha to everyone versus tipping/not tipping - not the same. Or is it?

Hawaii is a state in the USA but for any of us in the other 49 states who don’t greet one another by saying aloha, it’s rather a change. Why should I, I’m from NYC, and while weird blends in very well here, greeting folks with aloha won’t get you far unless you’re dressed in a grass skirt and coconuts for one of the parades (and making that work 😎) so, the practice of saying aloha really only works where it’s appropriate, kind of like with tipping. Otherwise, you’re just walking around with too many coconuts that no one wants or needs to see. 😳

So keep those coconuts in your pockets friends until you’re in a place where it’s acceptable to um, spread them around. All that’s required otherwise is a grazie, merci, danke, tak, cheers and a smile.